Abuse Left Me Paralysed | Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 6 | Season 3 

Hi there, could you please give me a way to contact this woman. I would really like to talk to her one on one.

🌹

Strong woman who suffered in the hands of a narcissistic person

Please give her a big hug for me I don't know but listen to her story I just feel like giving her a big hug.

Give her a hug for me😪❤

Was looking for this comment because Relebogile is really carrying her so gently through the conversation.

Relebogile is amazing. Her interview skills are impeccable

I absolutely and totally agree. Shes a great interviewer.

I totally agree ..

SA fathers let's rise above, be fathers and try lead by example. Let's unite and build as men and women guys ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ioVFyFJWqIk.html

Facts

I am in that situation. 💔

Exactly

Please get out! Please. ✨👏🏾

@@nelsonmotau5008, run before its too late.

Agreed. We tend to ignore signs and explain them away thinking they will disappear.

Kudos to you my dearest, I'm glad you chose you.

Wow, your dad ❤️🥺

That was not a nice thing for your dad to say. Shit I would have turned back immediately.

Our dads set the standard for us. My dad told his family. “ There is no amount of money that I can equate to what my daughter is worth”. He didn’t mince his words. He said “ people evolve and that’s human nature. If your son ever gets to a point where he feels that it’s not working out. Please let me know and bring back my daughter in the same way that you came to ask for her hand in marriage”. Ten years later, things are going great. If you know your value and what you bring to the table, you will not subject yourself to degrading behavior from anyone.

In the name of people are going to talk. N I have to stay.because of my children .that abuse is not only.affecting u ,most kids a in bad state bcz of seeing parents fight/argue

It still pisses me off that we have people that still say such to their daughters in this day and age. That is legit digging your child's own grave .

I know of a girl who was told to shake he rapists hand and forgive him by the pastor they'd never see me in that church ..... If you wanna get away with something do it to a woman

@@ksazobafit....2216 I believe that because for centuries churches have been protecting abusers, rapists and Peadophiles. Women are vilified for speaking out and are called Jezebels. And who’s at the “forefront” of hands off our prophets? Sick twisted power hungry people who’ve been given too much power by their followers.

To hell with all the laws oppressing woman. We don't derseve this.

This is so sad

Name and shame!

About time

😡😡😡 just checked him out on fb...this person is living life to the fullest, apparently accepted Jesus, meanwhile he scarred another soul for life 🤬 hhai maan

😮😮😮😮😮

Thank you for that, this information can save lives. Anyone can literally be his next victim

Praise God

Me too cc I went back home😭

Very heavy I.salute her

I agreed but I think that first we need to make therapy affordable and accessible for all people

@@relebogilemabotja215 true coz therapy its hella expensive yhooo

Thank you. These are sound words of advice for anyone who is reading it

It's something you don't get over you just learn to live with

One never heals from the trauma that men put women through. Ka mo you try to heal, ka mo you blame yourself for not moving on soon enough. Ka mo there is the society abusing you and calling you names...

I am so sorry hun

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Wish you continued strength and healing ❤️

So sorry darling. Where r ur scars? If u don't mind me asking

@@boikhutsoonline3834 bums and thighs

@@ThePrincess-vb8ql ok. Mine on my face... Huge scars

I'm only 31 years old and I've been abused for several times in so many different ways in my past relationships, I have no kids and my family and friends are still nagging me about marriage and kids. I am just unbothered. I'm very sensitive to a point that I even walk away from the date before it even begins. I choose myself and I don't care who says what.

@Naledi Remotely yoh dali singashona phela. The saddest thing is that women are dying every single day and still nothing is happening. I mean when a girl child is raised to be a good woman, also boys must be raised to be good men and not heartless monsters.

With every fiber in me, f**k the family and friends who are nagging you about YOUR life. It’s none of their business. I wish progressive happiness and peace for you. ✨👏🏾

SA fathers let's rise above, be fathers and try lead by example. Let's unite and build as men and women guys ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ioVFyFJWqIk.html

@@mbalenhlezulu8075 yu are not alone dear

But at the same time alot of woman got murdered in their relationship not in marriage and they are endured rubbish in the relationship.. Let's not only think this is abt marriage also relationships hav got problems these young girls endure rubbish..

@@sivuyilemaqokolo7900 I said “marriage and relationships”. Never did I isolate the issue to marriage. Any person that reads or watches global news knows that femicide is not isolated to married women. It affects all women of ages, races, culture, single or married. These types of “sick twisted broken” men-are everywhere and they pounce on any female irrespective of their relationship status.

So true talking from experience I know that some mothers 🙆‍♀️

Amen sister! 💯

It happened to me once I left and I had no family or anybody I knew overseas

I think we need to empower women to see this red signs and be strong enough to leave

That's a valuable perspective and note to ALWAYS look out for red flags

Yea we people are stupid like that, thats why its easy to ask why u never left

You have said a mouthful 👏

Facts

They are men themselves, how do we know that they were also abusers themselves???

Men as well!

I mean we don't have to but we do not victim blaming either but sometimes we really can walk away with the first incident but we always think we can heal and change people

@@sbonzama7013 this is true, men as well, I just wish men were given a platform were they share their stories

Plus she was working and he was not, meaning she didn't stay for roof. So my question is 'What was she gaining from the relationship?' What was the reason for staying because guy was bringing nothing to the table except pain and sorrow?

@@mishwilliams8373 It's really sad because it's a common situation for many and t they unfortunately believe that once officially married, things will change while they normally go downhill and if you advise otherwise, our African communities will look at you as the bad guy. Always saddens me to hear older women give advice to keep praying for the perpetrator, for God to change their heart. Too much enablement goes on for some of these monsters.

"Bekezela" my foot. I don't Bekezela BS I don't submit to BS If a man ever beat or rape me, I swear to God if don't die I'm going to jail. I've had enough. Heaven knows I have tried.

The worst thing to deal with...an insecure man.

The sad thing are so called culture in most African homes, is just rules from foreign religions, like Christiany and Islam.

Problem we as african we put yonke into and say its culture, so annoying ngoba le culture abuse us some how. On thing i told myself is that i will never do anything that im not comfortable with..

@@nomxhosapekani7966 very true

I can relate to your story, my mom died this year because of chronic diseases she got as a result of high stress and abuse.

I'm sorry you experienced that. Please do talk about it with a professional. Childhood trauma never goes away, it stays fresh until we unpack it ❤️ yes you can

They are failing us gagolo Koketso

Yes there are cases where it can be ordered under certain circumstances.

You are right! My cousin was divorced like that because the ex husband kept refusing to receive the summons or come to court for the divorce hearing. So eventually they court put a notice in the newspaper and obviously he ignored that too. That's how my cousin got her divorce granted. It took a few months but it happened and with no lawyer just the state resources

Please seek help with the court. You can get divorced even if the spouse doesn't sign the papers.

J

True

Baleka

You better ghost that good-for-nothing abuser.

Run

Advertise the devorce on a public newspaper or government gazette then the devorce will be granted

Yes indeed! I just remember with my cousin it included a notice on the newspaper and the after that received no response from the husband the divorce was granted

The inlaws will always sides with their own, nomatter how wrong he is. That's inlaws for you.

But his friends were helping her to get him sign the divorce papers

You are right, sometimes we need to be selfish and put ourselves first

This is True. It is evident in the comments on this video. I always ask myself why the places where men should be built are not there, women are there in their numbers. This formula does not work men should stand up and say "THIS HAS TO STOP". Imagine a beautiful lady as such being equated to nothing because some is such a fool and do not value themselves and take that street at his wife. Some of us are never ready to even get into a relationship because of High level of insecurities mostly instilled but our upbringing so called Man. Preparedness for man is something not valued in our society. We think age is a gate pass. Maturity must be the Gate pass. Women must use law and forget fellings at time because that one of the contributions to where we are. Lastly Culture that uphold worsening society righteousness must be abolished and devorced for ever " Bekezela, no Bekezela amasimba yini" a human spirit is designed to endure any kind of pain but when we do that to it intentionally we're are abusing a God given gift, it like proving that the spirit never dies buy internationally falling from a 20 floor building. Women use Law, Men Respect law, Tradition create New Culture the old is killing us.

Some even become defensive, you'll sometimes see comments like, "women are also abusive." There's one I've seen twice in these comments being defensive and pretending as if abuse of males is as rife as the sheer violence we see in women.

Insecure people are the worst to deal with