The term is largely used to shame men. The male gaze is attractive but it’s mainly mainstream dressing. If you think about it men started selling clothes and marketing them to women first.
@@yeezy7751 what’s the point them because every time a woman goes, “the male gaze” they follow it up with man shaming like all men are the same except person. My opinion is what the internet has presented to me. If it is wrong, then I have no objection to correction.
the nobody gaze 😭that's how my outfits have been recently, nobody compliments them men or women (well cause I stopped posting on social media) but it's very freeing to be the only one to like your own outfit!
I wore a skirt with black tall boots, along with a sweater (teacher outfit). My son called me a pilgrim. I had a similar outfit on at the local coffee shop and received multiple compliments by females.
love that! the same outfit just encouraged me to keep a boxy long (+long sleeved) day dress that i ordered recently, and very much liked everything about (wonderful fabric, colour and fit) - except the anticipated reactions. i just know people will find it boring and frumpy as it doesn't cater to the 'male gaze' at all. this video reminded me to wear it under big sweaters, so as to make it an unmistakably comfortable outfit. and eff those who still won't respect that. i think it's sooo cozy and cute ❤
Female gaze is an outfit that is a conversation starter and fashion. And most importantly they make you say “its called fashion Brenda” all day to your male friends
I love the “nobody gaze”. I remember you talked about how clothes don’t have to flattering or form fitting for you to love them/put together an outfit. Mind blowing for me and has really changed my style.
my ex bf was obsessed with me in a red lip so like you said definitely not like all guys think the same. i like that the overalls outfit is being weird and just playing dress up like how you did as a child. that’s the female gaze to me, dressing how i wanted to look at a child, using your imagination and creating a story with your outfit.
This is an interesting concept. For my small hometown, dressing in things I think are cool or different are NOT female-gaze approved because they are conditioned to believe that clothes are supposed to be flattering. I don't care if my clothes are flattering - I prefer comfort and style over flattering. So I don't think I attract male or female around here.
It's interesting how your definition of the male gaze is so specific to your boyfriend and brother. My husband absolutely loves when I wear overalls. He is totally indifferent to sneakers. Honestly I don't think he cares about shoes at all. But he loves funky patterns, especially knit sweaters with a pattern or graphic. He also likes hats a lot
This was so cute! You did such a great job. I feel like dressing the for "female gaze" means taking risks and having fun, not being afraid to do something that might not be seen as conventionally attractive. "Male gaze" outfits can be wearable day-to-day, but might not be as creative or fun. I live the for the "female gaze" outfits, but you did such a great job with the male gaze ones too! esp the last outfit with the cute shorts and t-shirt
becausse the female gaze tends to be more creative and overdo the element of traditional femininity where as the mainstream tries to add elements of both male and female trad styles
love the outfits! a little side-note on 'the male gaze' context, because it has become a little bit of a buzzword, the meaning is often not fully represented: the male gaze doesn't really refer to men, as in the actual male people in everyone's life, but it basically just mirrors patriarchal standards, so the term isn't as generalizing as it seems. in feminist theory it's used as a heterosexual, male dominated perspective that is often used in arts, etc. of course everyone has different opinions on what they deem as attractive, so the men you know might not even be interested in women "dressing for the male gaze", it doesn't diminish the accuracy of the term and relevancy in culture, arts, fashion, and more..
Ah, this is a great way to differentiate it! Male gaze = more typical, “conservative” (not demure, but meaning less experimental), fitting into our society, which is patriarchal. Female = eccentric, experimental, etc! ❤
i feel like when I dress around women I do feel more comfortable wearing wackier things. I think part of it is that I feel less judged and the other part is me wanting to stand out in the group I'm in. If I'm spending time with a man, I already feel like I'm standing out in a way so I tend to tone things down. I don't think its a conscious choice most of the time, but its worth thinking about. I loved all the fits in this video! :)
this was SUCH a cool video concept!!! and you hit the nail on the head that the "male gaze" outfits are more wearable for day to day, but "female gaze" fits are much more involved in their composition.
The theory behind the male gaze is, that women and oppressed people in general often view themselves from the perspective of the oppressor and find it difficult to separate their true self from the version of themselves that is being perceived. Women, even when they are alone, act as if they are being watched and judged by someone. The female gaze is just a new sub genre this.
YES thank you; i feel the popularisation of the word has twisted its meaning and thats a shame, bc it's such a good term to analyse eg internalized misogyny with.
@@TimeMovie93150 Everything we do happens in the context of our society. Like shaving our legs or dying our haire when it turns grey. Those aren't thinks that are naturaly undesirable. We only think that because society tells us. And women have eternalised these things to the degree, that we think it's our own choice to dislike these things about us. But it's all rooted in what makes us more attractive to a man. So as a women most choices we make are made in the context of the patriarchy and it's basically impossible to separate yourself from that. Even picking out clothing men wouldn't like is still catering to their view of the world instead of your own view.
the male gaze was coined by a film critic who noticed how movies were shot from a man's point of view-- so you can almost think of dressing for either "gazes" as looking at yourself through the eyes of someone else. which is sometimes how we get dressed-- keeping The Other in mind, whether that's men or women on the street, your partner, your best friends, etc! Kinda a cute way of reframing a negative term. (the nobody gaze is compelling to me personally)
personally looove to be men-repellent with my outfits but the only thing that matters is if i think i look cool whenever i see my reflection while i’m walking. also the mesh swim cap thing is bringing back sooo many memories from my childhood😭
Hii!! The male gaze is actually a technical term in media! Coined by feminists in the 80s/90s it was to denote the way women were portrayed in media for men’s visual enjoyment, the ‘male gaze’. This term got popular and was then used on tiktok to make jokes and stuff out of and I think this is where you got your idea of the ‘male gaze’ from. Here it would mean dressing in what you think a man would enjoy. The male gaze isn’t men just looking at you, you don’t attract ‘unwanted male gaze’, it’s a technical term that was made into a joke on tiktok! Hope this helps
Yeah I was somewhat confused by some of her choices for the "male gaze". It was interesting how she mentioned high heels but didn't wear any in the examples because they are one of the most good examples of male gaze since they make a woman's butt more prominent while emphasizing the length of legs (while not being good for the back and ankles). Oh wearing tops like bustiers that make your breasts pop out, again it's a way to get men's attention on you in the most sexualized way possible.The "male gaze" was meant to highlight the sexualization (if I'm not mistaken). Her take on the "male gaze" just missed the point, I don't think think some of the younger women understand what the term really means because the looks here were just too... "Innocent"? For lack of better phrasing.
@@KaiDecadenceShe said heels would be more for the male gaze but she chose not to wear them because she's 5'7 and short guys will be even more intimated by her height which ruins the point of attracting "positive" male attention.
I prefer all the female gaze outfits, but I do love the top you wore for the third outfit! And I’m totally here for the Nobody Gaze, that’s honestly what I dress for lol. I get what you mean about how wearing anything will get unwanted attention, bc that’s just something everyone is going to get. A few years ago, I told my dad I just wanted to wear the most shapeless sweaters with baggy pants or a long, wide skirt that doesn’t show my figure so that no one could be attracted to me. He said that wouldn’t stop the unwanted attention. I really didn’t like that answer, but now I realize that the lesson is to just not care. I’ve never noticed that kind of attention luckily, but if I did, I would ignore it so they wouldn’t feel encouraged. So I like how you talked about the female gaze and the male gaze in the sense of attracting attention you actually want.
i think the simplest way to explain the female gaze is basically , outfits that rep the wearer herself, and make u feel confident and like a boss girl. which is why i personally think that girls often compliment that kind of style. becuase one thing we as girls often view as part of our inner and mostly unspoken beauty standards is confidence. so when someone is wearing something they like without a care in the world it just makes the outfit stand out more. i think thats why the female gaze often incompasses things that would, to some, be seen as a "strange combination", but depending on who is wearing it, and the way they wear it (as in confidence level), is why we as girls just look and think, "wow she looks so cool wearing that". i hope that made sense😊😊😊
your comments about brandon sound so similar to my husband. he never says an experimental outfit is “weird” he just goes “you’re wearing that? alright!” we love an honest, supportive partner hahaha
from my experience the typical male gaze is just dressing as conventional and demure as possible which sickens me tbh but i loved this take on a more confident/well-adjusted man's gaze
To me "demure" was not something I expected to see in the comments, do you mind me asking you where you're from or what cultural/religious background most have around you?
demure and physically flattering are often (but not necessarily) exclusionary ideas, and yet I regularly see people try to claim both are part of the male gaze.
if you feel like it id love to see more wedding guest outfit ideas!! maybe with some more simple/safe but still cute outfits for those of us (me) with slightly boring families
I really like your take on this Laini! and agree , to attract the right man you dont need to change your style and objectify yourself for stereotypical "male gaze" (not worth it
Loved the comment you mentioned, “you can totally misunderstand me,” that was so perfectly imperfect, without over explaining yourself, you are who you are. My fav fit was def the first female gaze, I am a huge sucker for ANY type of vintage cameo piece! So cute, and totally a plus that those two pieces were already owned by your mom. 🥹❤
Haha as a guy can confirm i prefered every single male gaze outfit. The concept is so interesting and the video portrays it brilliantly without being too extreme for either gaze👏
Wow! My brother said he liked all the female gaze, except for the first. I do think they looked more feminine, why the male gaze more sporty and casual.
My then boyfriend and I literally showed up in the same outfit to school. Red Hurley shirt and light brown Dickies..he went and changed in the PE room. 😅 Married 20 years now though so I think youre onto something
I love differentiating between what types of outfits are "female" or "male" gaze, I think it's helpful to be mindful of why we wear certain outfits if there is a reason at all. I find myself unconsciously dressing for the "male gaze" sometimes so it will be good to notice when I am doing that and I don't necessarily want to. I also like how you didn't make it seem like either way of dressing is right or wrong, it's just fashion and it's all fun 😊😊
i took a tiny break off youtube for a while to focus on my studies and oh my gosh i am so insanely proud of ur growth on this channel, youre getting the recognition you so deserve! 298k is insane and eeee 300k approaching is so exciting! love u & hope 2024 brings so much goodness 🤍🤍🤍🤍
As a man I found that both the "male gaze and female gaze" looks equally appealing. Honestly the female gaze outfits are the ones that caught my eye more then what you'd expect a man to prefer. I would respectfully comment on ones outfits if they're clearly just dressing for themselves.
I love that your “male gaze” looks weren’t just limited to your bf or boys you want to attract, but also included things your brother would like. I really liked the one time you mentioned your dad! My dad always had something to say about my outfits 😂 there is very much an overall encompassing, male gaze agreed-upon aesthetic that isn’t even remotely sexual.
You said the whole video is gonna seem like you hate Brandon and you hate men, meanwhile the whole time I was in awe of how wholesome your relationship with Brandon sounds and how much love you have for him!! And definitely no man hating vibes either
This really reminds me of a video by daily Helen about things that make her think a person has ✨style✨. She summarized it as style choices that aren't conventionally flattering but are clearly deliberate and thought out. Really resembles the way laini describes the female gaze
My (also perfect) boyfriend honestly loves everything that I wear. There’s not one outfit or makeup look that i put on and he doesn’t compliment me. Which DOESNT help when i dont know what to wear because he tells me everything looks good on me lol. But Laini is absolutely right. Everybody is different and everyone has preferences, and sometimes you meet someone with the same preferences as you! I dont really believe in these terms lol
If we were committing to the bit 👀 the “female gaze” capri outfit with the birkin basket - a scarf. On head, or around neck. Can you imagine?? So like, old Hollywood movie star on a vacation in the Paris countryside.
idk why men in general hate overalls so much 😪 i’ve never met one who likes or compliments it and i loooove them so much and think they’re so cute, have waaay too many pairs lol (and will still wear them to death)
I loved this video format!! I'm trying to think about what else you could do this style of video for because it's such a fun format - also dont worry about explaining Laini, we totally get you! ♥
This is so fresh! I perceive the male gaze to be what is conventionally 'flattering'. I think of classic basics and a more 'balanced' silhouette. Whereas the female gaze is playful, quirky and more experimental. I think of dopamine dressing, layering and accessorising just for fun.
1: black boots (m) 2: overalls (f) 3: basket (f) 4: long skirt (f) 5: just for fun im making my own outfit that i would like but would also probably fit into the "male gaze". that leopard skirt, heeled black boots, peachyden cowl neck top 6: oversized t shirt (m)
1. Definitely enjoyed your video. 2. Yay, Brandon! 3. Wear female gaze outfit #2. It looks great on you. 4. I didn’t know what the terms female gaze vs male gaze meant, and you explained it perfectly, so thank you! 🙏🏽
I feel you on the neutrality of cheetah print...that's how i feel with all of my cheetah items. they end up just being a basic for me? maybe I'm just super extra? idk but I am glad someone else feels that way haha
love this video! definitely one of my favourites of yours, i think you should do more videos like these comparisons, maybe like a thrifted version vs 1st hand version would be fun!
i feel like the idea of the "male gaze" is a concept deeply routed in patriarchy and misogyny, rather than some fashion "preference"!! its not really about "masculinity" or "femininity". its an oppressive weapon of patriarchy used to hinder women. this video is very sweet but lacks some nuance on how this is a political and social issue
Yeah it had nothing to do with just dressing or who you intend to be looking at you (which you can't control by changing the colour of your tights). It's one of those tests with a specific meaning (in this case it is from media like film) that is becoming meaningless as people use it for broader and more simplistic concepts. Rather like "gaslight" which currently is more often used to simply mean lying or even just disagreeing, or "mutual aid" which now just means giving someone money/charity.
I know my fit will not attract male attention when it’s more complicated, like if my silhouette is unorthodox, I’m sporting a fun pattern, god forbid I throw a graphic liner in the mix.
Woman here :Outfit 1, I like the male gaze version because BOOTS! Outfit 2, neither as I hate overalls(female) and I don’t like the sneakers (male). Outfit 3: female gaze. Outfit 4: female gaze(both are cute though and I would wear either). Outfit 5: female gaze outfit 6: male gaze
honestly love both options for outfit 1! outfit 2 - i loved the female version, giving very brittany murphy, outfit 3- loooove female, sidenote: it's funny when you said you don't know any men who like a red lip and that's one of my boyfriend's favorite looks. just proves your point that this concept isn't as black and white as it may seem
yes, but: i find that this video made me come back to rewatch it several times because while trying to explain it's appeal to my flatmate - a completely-oblivious-to-fashion-or-feminism genx type - i had to also explain the cool girl trope. which made me realise how the male gaze is extremely correctly presented by laini as the way a cool girl would dress. i mean just take the first/thumbnail outfit: those heavy black leather boots being the obligatory tribute to 'masculine' coolness, bringing the hotness "down to earth". it's like not too overtly sexy or elegant, but casually, effortlessly hot. approachably hot in the lara croft kind of way. even the colour schemes are important and play into this, as the male gaze definitely preferrs neutrals (again, perfectly contrasted by the opaque red tights in the first outfit. they may be tight but they do hide the skin and draw attention away from other, hotter parts of the outfit). because neutral colours are associated with underwear (for a reason) and don't distract from the hotness too much. bright colours are nowhere to be found in men's clothing and interior decoration for a reason too, being just too flashy and playful for the stoic and grounded 'macho' image. and yes, conventionally hot is very important for the male gaze too, but not necessarily meaning traditional or cheap, but more in the sense of avoiding unfamiliar, sophisticated or avantgarde impressions. like it can't be too "interesting" or "intriguing" even. that's what explains the presence of the many flattering elements in the female gaze outfits too. it's not about dressing "ugly" at all, but just about having fun and being creative, basically. which really reveals how deeply repressive dressing for the male gaze truly is...
I think, as you said, “male gaze” and “female gaze” definitely depends on the person. Like you, all the men in my life are definitely turned off by what’s considered stereotypically for the male gaze. The “it depends on the type of man you’re looking for” is SO FREAKING TRUE. Like, SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! I literally put on a fuzzy, thick, turtleneck sweater and skinny jeans the other day, and my sister’s like, “trying to attract a guy, huh?” and whilst I wasn’t, I do recognize that that versus some of the more street/KPOP/baggy outfits I tend to prefer when not going out would serve more to attract the kind of guy I would be looking for.
These are very cute looks on you but the situations you mention are way different than what others might think. It might be oversharing, unless this is a lead up to your OnlyFans. I live your blue sweater look the best.
Love this! This was so fun to watch. When I think of female gaze fashion, I think of crows collecting shiny objects. Like things that stand out because we find them pretty or cool. When I think of male gaze fashion, I think just more basic cuts and colours but more form fitting, maybe even more skin showing. Also less practical like stilletos which are hard to walk in (for me at least 😂).
Look 1: I like both but I'd be more likely to wear Look 2 Look 2: Look 2 although I also like look 1 with the cardigan Look 3: Look 2 Look 4: slightly Look 2 Look 5: Look 1 Look 6: Both! Love you laini
