mhm! it’s the same thing as a nicotine, alcohol, and drug addiction. when i was deep into it, i would cut myself just because i was bored. even if i wasn’t sad in the moment, it still released a bit of serotonin for me and i instantly felt relief. it’s crazy HOW addicting it can get.
yes absolutely. honestly it feels the worse when theres no reason? like at least i can justify it to myself if something really bad happened, but when its just a regular week thats going pretty well, then it feels so much more guilty yk
Yes! I have amazing parents and I felt SO bad that I was going through all this when I don't even have a bad home life like some people and it made me want to sh more because I didn't feel valid unless it was bad. Idk it's messed up.
I feel like don't have the tools like razors like as a child u dk or have razor so it doesn't develop into later on cus later u get razor blades for shaving or it delops more cus u find other ways to do it think it always starts small
@@kawaiikoala905a few months ago I went to the hospital and the lady said “oh this isn’t that deep” (she was cleaning my scares) and all I thought was “damn I thought I went pretty deep… next time I will cut deeper”
I'm glad she mentioned that even "minor" self-harm is still a concern. I used to hit myself in the head (very hard, over and over) when I was alone and frustrated or angry. I didn't consider it self-harm until recently, and after realizing that, it made things a lot clear.
I used to pull my pony tails when I was younger out of anger and even sometimes now I bite my wrists or fingers when I get angry and I didn’t realize it could be considered self harm till later on but I even just realized that pulling my hair could count as that too
Addiction comes in all forms. When she said she did it every morning when she woke up because of the addiction, it reminds me of how any one of us are waking up and feel the need to check our phones. And by checking our phones, it soothes that feeling. It's not at the same level as self-harm, but this example may help others see that anything can be an addiction.
That’s a really good explanation. That SH is always there and it becomes a routine. For me, i did it every night and every other morning and if i didn’t it felt like something was wrong
i woke up and snorted a line of (choose whatever you want) every morning for about 3 years and it was incredibly difficult to stop | I’ve been 4 years clean now 🥰
@@audreysmith2589I am doing it I kinda need help bc u said u did it but I relapsed yesterday and I don’t know how to stop. I’m in 7th grade and have been doing it since 4th or 3rd grade and I have been to the little scratches that barely bleed (if they do) and I was wondering if it does wear scars if u know. I know I’m late but I really need advice
Relapsed a few months ago, I was 6 years clean. This video made me reflect and realise just how bad that addiction was, still is. It’s so difficult to stay strong against those thoughts when you’re at your hardest time
I’m 29 and relapsed for the first time since my teen years (maybe 20 most but minimally).. 6 years it’s crazy.. it’s crazy how you get that feeling and craving and just break even after so long
I can relate I'm 5 years clean from self harm and my best friend passed away unexpectedly in May ( we met in our rare disease chronic illness group) and she was my coping partner it's taken everything in me not to give in. My thoughts are with you ❤
CONGRATS, u can't beat yoseof for 1 little relapse dawg, 6 years is shiva like, ur a strong minded individual, continue to be blessed and keep ya head up. Once again 6 years is insane
Media makes it seem as if relapsing is the worst thing in the world, but for most people it’s part of the healing process. Progress isn’t linear you’re amazing and doing amazing things! Keep ur head up
I can relate, I am 5 years clean but only because I was able to hold it out til a certain goal that I have now passed and the urges are still so strong I know it will happen again eventually. But as others have said already, relapsing doesn't take away from the healing progress you've already made!
Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story. I believe it has already helped many people including myself. Good luck with college! and thank you for sharing your story with such grace. You described everything so well. Speaking from experience I know everyday is a battle but I’m proud of you for fighting it! much love ❤️
I couldn’t stop listening to your story! Thank you for having the courage to talk about your story and especially for having the courage to get help. Your story is going to help so many!
i love how she recognizes not all self harm starts with a super traumatic past or strictly for people who are suicid@l, because that’s very true, when i was in the thick of it i never wanted to die i just wanted relief.
@@AnishaMichele you don’t understand how hard it actually is. Please dont judge anyone when you don’t even know what’s going on in their life or what’s happened. Your judgement hurts others more.
I am right there with you. Except I did have the bad childhood she mentioned is the stereotype. Hope you are doing better and taking things one day at a time.
it's really amazing to hear her parents were so there for her. i'm 23 now, i was 13 when i started self harming, 15 when i went to my parents for help. they didn't care and still don't. i'm only like 3-4 days clean and i know it won't stick. having supportive people around you means everything. i'm glad to see she knows how lucky she is that so many people cared. that's what we all deserve.
You are doing so well! I relate to you so much and am also 3 days clean. know that you are supported and you’re going to get through this. If you need someone to talk to I can drop my socials. You got this!
I was also 13 when I started and just turned 24. It got so bad I had to be hospitalized. Clean for 7 years now!! Support is everything but you have to be ready and willing ❤ I am so proud that you are 3-4 days clean!! You’ve got this. It is tough to recover, but VERY worth it.
Even if you end up relapsing don't be too hard on yourself. One day you're going to find that support and you'll be clean. It'll still be a battle but an easier one. You'll make it out
There is a HUGE overlap between eating disorders, especially when they’re restrictive or purging, and self harm. It’s a cry for help, a need to escape, and a sense of control all at once. Getting in is easy, getting out is hard. I’m still in, but one day I hope I can put in the work that it takes to let it go.
I’ve been dealing with an ed and sh at once. And it explains so much. I’ve gotten out of it with proper antidepressants and a good chunk of work in therapy. Take care and stay strong
I’ve never seen someone my age who is also struggling with this, everyone around me always treat self harm as a teenage phenomenon which makes it very hard for me to talk about it 🙈 I hope things work out for you 💜
I recently realised I'm autistic, and now I think a lot of my past self harming happened during autistic meltdowns. I would be so overwhelmed with the stress and emotion of whatever had been happening recently, but I would hold it all in until I was alone and then have to get it all out in some physical way, which ended up being self harm sometimes. And because it would calm me down, it did become an addiction and I would self harm at other times, but during a meltdown it would be a frenzy. Afterwards I would be almost mesmerised by what I'd done, until the guilt and shame crept in and I'd cover it up and try to forget about it until the next time. I'm past that now but I still find blood weirdly beautiful, I just try not to think about where that fascination comes from.
I'm 27 and realized my self harm was exactly the same as yours. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder which often happens as a result of long term trauma from absent/abusive parents (which I had) but also a ton of symptoms from BPD and Autism overlap, so I do think I'm autistic as well. I never knew why my emotions would be locked so deep inside and all of a sudden I'd be running around the house looking for something to hurt myself with, in a frenzy until I was able to do it and release that terrible feeling. Then, like you, I would feel badly and out of control after. Hope you're doing better now
This video makes me feel so seen, the “do it for no reason” was something that occurred for me constantly because I was in a permanent state of sad, everything about this video is so real
I felt the same way, when people found out I still was it made things worse. Please reach out and be honest, once I started doing that I began to feel so much better. I believe in you ❤
Personally I think you would really benefit from telling them. Just know you’re not alone and you can get through it, telling them might be very helpful. ❤
12:21 "i can stop, ill be fine- and it wasn't fine" god i felt that. after doing it once, you always think you wont do it again, youll keep what you used just in case you wanna do it again, but, you tell yourself you're done. you never really quit. you heal and try to get better but that shit sticks with you for YEARS. i started in 6th grade and its still an issue for me.
"They told me I couldn't come back to school because you're a liability" -- that is BRUTAL. My dear sweet Lord. You poor girl. I hate that way that you were punished for (essentially) feeling sad.
I’m almost 2 years free of self harm. It is an incredibly addictive feeling. I’m so proud of how far I have come but still struggle every day. hearing someone who has struggled also is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing this video and being vulnerable and brave. we can do this!
You can do this. I’m almost 2 years clean. Everyday is a struggle but it gets better. you can do this I truly believe you can! You are very loved and I have faith these hard times will get better. Stay strong you’ve got this! ❤️
im so glad shes talking about her experience ive always felt weird and awkward being fully aware that i was and still am addicted to self harm i still talk myself out of it all the time i started in middle school and still did it as an adult but i am getting better i havent done it in like 2 years but the urges can be really strong and i dont think anyone im close to knows like my siblings and parents and my fiance knew i had a problem but i dont think they know it can be highly addictive
Your doing amazing. I’m almost 2 years clean of it. Your right the urges are very hard. But remember that you are incredibly important and cared for. Remember those urges will pass. It will get better! Your doing an incredible job and can continue to grow!
@@Vianna1990 girl youre gonna make me cryyyy 😭😭 thank you sm it means a lot ive been working on myself for like 2 years already too and i hope your journey is going good too You are strong AF it takes a lot to stop any kind of addicted and im addicted to smoking but i would never do anything hard like meth 💀 my parents are meth heads so i dont talk to them anymore for about 2 years too but i really hope your journey goes well and you take care of yourself self love is important dont ever let anyone take it away stay golden ✨🫶
i was clean for an entire year and a couple of months and i started it up again recently:( i had done so many methods i had in my notes and they actually helped
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I’m so sorry to everyone that deals with this, but I’m glad this is considered an actual addiction. I’m 7 years clean, but the urge is still very strong, with any small inconvenience, my arms get heavy and tingle and only self harm will help. It’s definitely a struggle to not relapse
Relapsed a couple hours ago after being 23 days clean god put this on my fyp. It’s so easy to get addicted and I’m so sad that I started in the first place.
She is so new in recovery and I hope she keeps a solid support system throughout college. I started in 7th grade and would go years being clean from self-harm just to relapse over and over again. I’m almost 30 and it’s still an urge I have to ignore on occasion. Same with disordered eating thoughts and habits. It truly is a horrific addiction.
I feel… so seen. This was such a problem for me in my teenage years and ended up relapsing in my mid-twenties. The blade hiding, the pencil sharpeners, the aftercare, the labor of hiding it and hiding scars and feeling so so guilty about telling my parents because I knew it would just break their hearts. Honestly all the way down to going to a small school and struggling so much during the summers. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel so much less alone. All the blessings to you 💜
This really helped me understand my best friend… we had been friends for over 10 years when she finally confided in me and let me know she was addicted to hurting herself. She was really skinny when we were younger and I was always the first to defend her and it turns out she had an eating disorder too the entire time. She actually tried to commit twice these past two years and this video opened my eyes to what she might’ve been mentally going through. Wishing you peace and love ❤
@@Ella-mu7zfdon't lose hope! I self harmed for about 20 years. I used to burn myself because cutting didn't work anymore. I have two skin grafts because I went so far. I went to therapy and worked on this. It took several years of working on it. Now I never think of self harming and it's been about ten years since I did. Hang in there. Don't lose hope!
You've made it to a year before, you can do it again. Or do even better, if you can. I'm so proud of you for making it to that and I know it wasn't easy ❤
genuinley, thank you so much for saying outright "no amount of self harm is normal; seek help". when people think of self harm, their immediate thought is cutting. but the fact that you started just by hitting yourself is very eye opening.
I'm literally 6 minutes in and I already relate so much. The feeling sad for no reason, not even knowing what depression is. And then the lashing out and parents, but ur parents obviously have no clue what you're going through so you get in trouble.
Ugh, it's so true that some addictions are impossible to avoid. I'm struggling with food addiction and it's the same thing. I can stay away from drugs and alcohol, but I can't not eat.
Me too! I've quit main forms of self harm but can't stop skin picking, I've quit weed, hard drugs and cigarettes but still struggle with alcohol, but out of everything I struggle the most with binge eating
i didnt realize how young she was until she mentioned sophomore year in 2020! To be that young and so brave to discuss such personal issues is pretty dam inspiring
seeing someone share this story is so validating. Shes so incredibly strong words can't even describe. I had almost the identical situation happen where it stems from anxiety alot and satisfaction. Thak you so much V for this episode.
I self harmed from around age 11-19, but I considered my official 'start' was around 14 since that's when I realized what it was I was doing. After years of dealing with anxiety, depression, sensory issues, and some good ol fashioned trauma, it felt almost second nature to always have something sharp in my pocket for when I'd want to. I'm turning 21 within the next month, and have been a few years clean, but every so often I get the sudden urge or passing thought of, "yo, bruises/scratches look cool. I should get some"
man i did the same thing. i had blades and bandaids that i kept in a container in my purse and i would harm in the bathroom at school. it was constant. hearts out to anyone struggling, i’ve been self harm and drug free for 5 years now.
Im 13 and this accurately describes me other than the eating disorder. I SH and a have an amazing life with perfect parents…. I did it on my arms but now im doing it on my hips…❤
im sorry hun thats really hard. i can relate, but im 19 days clean. sending all of my love. (literally writing this with tears streaming down my face, trying to figure out how to convey all of the love i hold for a stranger)
Wow. The more i listen the harder this hits close to home. I began the same tendencies around the same age. I began to truly hurt myself more deeply my sophomore year but had struggled with the same tendencies starting around 5th/6th grade. I also had the same issues with school and food. this video makes me feel far less alone. I was also raised in a good home with loving parents. Thank you so much for such an inspirational video. ❤️
For the past few years, I’ve been gaslighting myself into believing that any issues with my mental health are made up in my head and attention seeking, but this video has helped me start to realise that what I’ve been going through is real.
I love the spotlight on this and recognizing that it is truly an addiction. I struggled myself for about 10 years (ages 11-21) and noticed a lot of parallels between mine and this woman's story. I'll be 7 years clean this January and grateful for my journey and where I am today. ❤
I normally don't post comments on videos but this one resonates heavily to me. I come from an amazing family and near 4th and 5th I started to grow self destructive. I also have family history with similar behaviors.. it's a thing that started off as nothing to it being an everyday thing. It's such an odd thing to go through, and I feel seen and not alone because she shared her story. I appreciate her sharing her story and experiences ❤❤❤
‼️ TW: VENTING ‼️ I don’t really remember when the last time I cut myself was, and that really really bothers me. It was bc I didn’t expect it to be my last cut, bc I had “quit” before. And I just thought I would cut again in a week or so, and I hate that I don’t remember, to the point, where I’ll be wanting to cut again just so I can have a date of the last time I did “it” but I’d say I’m definitely more than 3 months clean.
I relate to her so much, I had a fairly decent family, but I had always been an insanely anxious kid and with time that just kept getting worse. So I found myself wishing I'd get stabbed and then it started. I always thought I was a loser for doing it because of school, to me, I couldn't handle "a little bit of stress". So yeah, listening to this made me feel really validated.
that's something a lot of people don't understand, there doesn't have to be a reason once you get so deep into your self harm addiction, you just do it to do it because you're so used to it at that point. i hated that everyone always thought there had to be a reason because when i couldn't think of one it frustrated me. it just became a part of me at that time and that was that.
i was 2 years clean and relapsed a few months ago. i’m proud of anyone who’s going through this, whether they’ve gone a year, a day, or an hour without doing it. 💜
I've struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts since I was 10. I'm still struggling as in i tried to end it all 5 times and got sent to the hospital once. I'm 13 and now 2 months clean, its hard trying not to relapse since I always get into negative thoughts. I'm just glad seeing people recover from something I'm suffering from too!
Stay strong girl ❤️ you’re young and you have a beautiful life to live. I was in your shoes once and life is much different now. I’m 22 and I used to self harm when I was 13 up until a few years ago. You will get through it I promise. I know it’s hard but believe in yourself because you have a purpose! I know that’s easier said than done, as well. But you’re never alone even though it can feel that way. I still struggle with negative thoughts but try surrounding yourself around positive friends, or try doing activities you enjoy! Listen to music that makes you sing or dance or do something as simple as taking a shower or doing your nails if you’re into that :) Or try a new hobby.
Hi, I just wanted to check on you. Please don't make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances. You matter and you deserve to live. If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you. 🩷
Just in case anyone needs to hear this, you deserve to get better. You deserve to be clean. You deserve to be happy. I am here if anyone needs to talk. You deserve to eat and drink and take care of yourself. I love you and we can learn to love ourselves together ❤️.
Started self harming in 3rd grade, I’m 31 now and 100% this is an absolute addiction. Was clean for about 2 months, relapsed the other day. All I can say is I’m going to try and not do it today. I don’t know about tomorrow but today I’m going to do my best not to
Im watching this as a 14 year old and relizing i am harming myself...i appreciate this video a lot. While ive never cut, i have thought about it a lot. When im upset i will hit my hands together multiple times until recently, ive started scratching myself. the hand hitting caused bruising on my bones and i got yelled from my parents for it so I hid it. I thought they yelled at me because I was childish so that just made it worse. Teachers also yelled at me because it was an impulse for me out of anger, especially in PE because Im competive. Im not sure why I do this, I have a few theories i wont explain here. I really hope that i never go any farther down this rabbit hole. And i pray for everyone that has done it or will do it, i wish you luck.
I dealt with this addiction for 8 years. Kudos to anyone out there beating this!❤5 mental hospitalizations. Also related to the Ed part. 6 years. I thought I was alone. This was so touching🥹😭🫂🩵💜🩷
It's interesting to me that she says she doesn't struggle with anxiety, because so many of the childhood behaviours stick out to me as anxiety symptoms, as someone with an anxiety disorder. Obviously everyone is different, but the need for control is a BIG flag for me. It took me until I was about 20 to realise just how many behaviours that I normalised as a child that I can link back to anxiety, without having the actual 'anxious' feeling present.
Your channel is so eye opening. Major props to Ellie for coming on and being so open and vulnerable. What an amazing young woman.. I'm sure her parents are unbelievably proud of her for working through this and now helping other people understand and learn about it.
I've been listening to your videos recently, and I love the attitude with which you approach everything! I know it's very cliché, but sometimes the best thing to do is just to sit and listen, and I love that you provide that space!
Two days ago marked my one year clean. I was tested yesterday because I was written up at work for being physically disabled. I had the terrible urge but I have learned that it passes. The urge will never fully go away, but it gets easier. I will always have the marks, but I love who I have become with my scars. Thank you everyone for sharing your story. And anyone reading this, you are so strong.
Thank you for this one. I haven't relapsed w/ cutting in a year, and the past few times I've relapsed, I've been able to keep from doing it more than once. Started with snapping a rubber band on my wrist. I wish more people understood how it escalates and that it can be yearsssss since a cut and you'll still have the urge to do. It's so addictive. Thank you for putting this out there. More people need to understand the mindset behind it to keep it from happening in their own lives.
Devora! I've said this before and I'll say it again , your podcasts are literally the best, from the topics you cover, to the awareness you spread, you are truly making a huge impact on people. Thank you for doing what you do
I started as a little kid not knowing it was an actual “thing” until middle school. By then it became a frenzy I would have when I didn’t have a real “reason” to self harm that day. Which now into adulthood I know it was an addiction. You grow up only knowing alcoholism and drugs are an addiction and nothing else is. Thank you for being a voice online and I hope other kids/teens/adults get to see this and learn
I’m in 8th grade and am struggling with self harm, anxiety, and depression. I am almost on the same path as she was. It makes me feel seen that someone else has gone through almost exactly the same path as me and has gotten better ❤
i appreciate her honesty so much. i grew up in a middle class, loving family, but my self harm started at age 5. my life has been a journey, constantly fighting to win against my mental health battles. lots of love to you all❤ im proud of you and i believe in you!
I had a very hard time emotionally during the same time as the girl in the video 13-18 I was self harming and at 19 was when I stopped. But I realized I was hurting myself by over eating etc. I decided to get tattoos to cover my arm scars made something beautiful out of something sad. I'm now 32 and it's a struggle but we find ways of coping without numbing . Being self aware is hard but we do get better and so happy she found her way.
as someone who self harms, i came very close to getting addicted. i used to cut every other day, and sometimes woke up early in the mornings to multiswipe. it gave me some type of dopamine rush, and reduced my anxiety a lot. i basically depended on it. it was AWFUL. because i depended on it, i would have literal panic attacks in school because i couldn’t cut. i knew i needed to stop or i would get addicted. that was maybe 6 months ago, im doing better now but its still a recurring problem. it’s so easy to get addicted to self harm, DO NOT DO IT!!
oh my god.... my experience with self harm is almost identical to hers besides the fact that the VP walked into class to pull me out PERSONALLY it was mortifying.... and scheduled an appt for me with the school counselor... i was so mad, but ironically it was the best thing that happened to me because i was not going to get the help myself and they didn't tell my mom until i was ready for her to know
7 years clean and it truly is not given enough credit for how much of an addiction it truly becomes for some ppl, i was completely out of control with it until i had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. i genuinely did it out of boredom most of the time bc it gave such a big hit of dopamine and endorphins. it was a high. so unbelievably happy to be on the other side of it now but this podcast was so well done and unbelievably relatable. thank you. if you see this and need help, pls get it the freedom is so worth it.
3:40 as someone with adhd and autism, i do this alot when i have attacks or get angry i’ll slam my door then cry usually and have a panick attack/anxiety attack i usually scratch/hit myself. I didnt realise it was a self harm thing until about 5 months ago. And ive been doing this since i was about 7.
It’s so hard to stop. My father grabbed my arm and asked so many times if those were self harm scars but I couldn’t tell him the truth… I told him those were scars from scratching my allergies to a point it bled. He believed it but I feel awful… my mom has no idea, but I just know she would blame me for doing it and at the same time would emotionally collapse if she found out. I was supposed to go out to meet some new people today, but I just can’t leave the house. It’s so hot outside and I have no idea how I’d hide those cuts from them… everything hurts.
So glad to see people being more open about this topic. It’s crazy how much our stories had in common in this kind of experience - it’s so validating and further emphasizes that we need to talk about these things more without shame because no one is in it alone
I started SHing with scissors/broken glass on my arms/legs since I was 8, but I was being severely abused on different levels, and sexually abused/raped. My SHing turned into trying to off myself at age 10 and various other times throughout my teens, and increasing in my SH to the point that I was hospitalized and now unfortunately have many scars. I also developed an eating disorder, to try and stop my sexual abuse, which it did stop as I put on weight. But it didn't stop being violently raped at age 10 and again at 16. I gained a lot of weight after my molestations/rapes and finally after a lot of healing of my past, I've been losing a lot of weight. I've lost over 70lbs this year, I'm still losing weight and feeling better, but I do occasionally still ¢ut myself when I'm extremely stressed/overwhelmed. I'm still working on stopping that, and it's been several months since my last time. I'm now happily married, a lead singer in a band, and an advocate for abuse victims and survivors. I am much happier with my life now, and I feel more confident about myself as I continue to lose weight, but I do suffer with scary thoughts of being re-victimized again, IF I'm ever to the point that I'm considered "attractive" by society's standards... Which I doubt I'll ever be pretty enough for that, but I still worry... I'm continuing to improve myself everyday, I'm healing, thriving, helping others and enjoying my life. I really love helping others also, and I appreciate that this topic was brought up, because I've considered talking about it on my channel, but I've been very hesitant to speak about it, because so many people don't understand.... Thank you for bringing awareness!!!! ❤
I was addicted to self harm. I wasn’t even especially distressed while doing it. I just had my regularly daily routine of cutting. It was a very dark time. But for me, it was absolutely the result of having no control over my life.
What she says at the beginning about what background you come from and how it effects self harm is so true. You don’t always have to come from a bad home life, depression stops for no one. not saying that everyone with depression self harms, just saying that mental illnesses don’t pick and choose. Happens to anyone. My mom is amazing, I love her so much. But even that couldn’t stop me from hurting myself. I was in such a dark place that no one’s love for me could help. Thankfully, I’ve been clean for years now.
i celebrated 3 years clean in june after SHing for over a decade. i’ve quit c0ke, benz0s, alcohol etc. none of those compare to how hard it is to quit SH. it’s something so difficult for people on the outside to understand. i have scars i will carry for the rest of my life. hard pill to swallow to imagine trying to explain that to my future children. hugs to anyone out there struggling. so much of my story correlates with hers. the frustration and emotional overload at a young age. eating issues. even the pencil sharpener part. i know there are so many people like me out there but it’s crazy to hear it
this genuinely makes me feel heard. it truly becomes an addiction. most people don’t understand that. it become an everyday thing, going to the bathroom and self harming. thank you!!!