Oh sorry beautiful, you're such a beautiful story teller. Plus you've helped a lot of people with your story. As a single mother I fear the pain of leaving my only son your age mate alone in the world. You e given me hope that when my time comes he will be strong and despite the fears he will stand. You will stand and you are enough for your life. Yes your life is perfect it is working. Just know that fear is universal and it's also a motivated and a tormenter. Yes I believe your mum is watching over you. That I know for sure. Be brave and follow your heart.