A lot of people think this man is insensitive, but as someone with terrible ADHD he describes someone with ADHD spot on. He’s not being critical he’s just explaining his studies.
Agreed 100% I’ve been begging the UK NHS for help. And the wait time to even see a psychiatrist is 2 years!!!! It’s heart breaking. My life has fallen apart from the upheaval of Covid. My fiancée left me and I can’t get help.
THIS. This is how I wish I’d been spoken to about my adhd. This guy, if his knowledge or attitude had been anywhere near me, would have changed my life. Brilliant.
That's EXACTLY what I thought! 😢 . It sounds like a description of my life... I wish my parents could have realised what he's saying at some point of my upbringing. My life would literally have been different
I have adhd. The way this man speaks is easy to follow and remember. It is not negative, simply direct. Which is why I follow it and memorise it so easily.
@@variyasalo2581 He does, and it does explain why he interprets ADHD symptoms in terms of the worst-case scenario. He obviously has real and serious grief about his brother and this is both good for us because it means he doesn't overestimate the capabilities of people with ADHD and bad for us because his estimates of ADHDers are set at the lower bound because his brother seemed to have been dealing with not only ADHD but also significant addictive personality traits.
If any of this is painful to read. keep in mind his brother died from driving and had ADHD. Dr. Russell Barkley has clearly dedicated his life to studying and treating people with this ailment. I have nothing respect for this man.
He is not giving a counseling session , he is giving a lecture which is a totally different way of presenting information. People are coming to hear how ADHD impairs individuals.
That puts a different spin on his thinking that young people with ADHD should not drive, BREAKocean. I have ADD and thought that extreme. In my city, a distracted driving ticket holds a similar weight to a DUI.
I love how he doesn't dance around the point. In the comments I see some people who say he's being too negative. But I don't see it that way at all. He shows what science finds, without trying to please anyones ego. Especially this part of the talk reminds me why I have to keep trying. Not let my unmotivated, procrastinating side win over. For me it is highly motivational to hear my problems reflected in actual science. If you listen to the whole talk, that's 3 hours I think, you will hear him give some GOLDEN advice for handling those problems, too. So maybe give it a chance, even if you don't like what you are hearing.
The first time I watched a video of one of his lectures it kind pissed me off. I felt like he was being very negative and almost condescending. He kept saying “They can’t do this.” And “they can’t do that.” But after watching more i realized he is actually very sympathetic. I think he uses that negative language partly because so many of us with ADHD have heard “well if you can pay attention to X then you can pay attention to Y.” So then we try to pay attention to Y but fail and it feels like a personal failing rather than as the effect of a disability. I think his language emphasizes that that attitude will continue to fail, and that we need to find other ways to manage it rather than just hoping that the next time we try it’ll turn out differently.
@@Briansawilddowner Also, I think it gets overshadowed, that this is a talk for parents, doctors and other caretakers. He is trying to break those people out of unrealistic expectations. I think at some point he actually addresses the crowd like 'If you don't get it and expect unrealistic stuff from the kid you become my problem' or something like that. It's some time ago that I listened to the talk. So actually he's strongly advocating for the ADHDers.
@SuperTrader Mikey Very true! I can't really handle work and household stuff and relationships all at once on an acceptable level. And keeping up the scaffolding sometimes feels like too much work on its own, even if it keeps me functioning. Aah... Life...
You obviously did not watch the whole thing or you would know he is in favor of you getting your ass whipped. More consequences and accountability for ADHD kids, is what he said.
This man is the best speaker ever. It's flawless, even-paced, never getting stuck on a word, never uttering 'uhmm', same volume level throughout. No distractions, good quality voice. I can listen all day. The content is very helpful. Thank you sir for your service to the ADHD community.
This man has really dedicated his life to the studies of our brains and is advocating for us. His lectures are amazing and you can feel how personal this disorder hits home for him in the way he speaks about his twin brother.
I do really feel that his brother's situation - and I strongly empathize with his grief, it is terrible to lose a sibling so young in life - is something that colors his view of ADHD, no matter how much he rationalizes it. It's hard for someone to go through an intensely personal loss like a sibling, especially a twin sibling, to feel that that loss had a primary cause (rightly or wrongly) that is a condition that you have spent much of your time and effort studying, and not present that condition in that light. But at the same time, he is a very hard listen because it seems as though he is of the opinion, colored by his brother's struggles and death, that people with ADHD are hopeless cases without strict medicalization, that we are INCAPABLE of caring for ourselves and others, and that we are completely unaware of ourselves.
I've just been diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago, I'm 67. Oh how I wish I could have had someone in my life as understanding as this man. It breaks my heart to think "what could I have been" with the proper help earlier in my life. More help and less judgement is far more helpful. At last I am beginning to understand and forgive myself.
I totally relate to your comment. I've just been diagnosed at 58 years old. Also ASD. My body is very broken down now, so I don't look forward to much. I do feel very sad about not having been able to do the things in life I wanted to, or have a decent relationship, and after trying so hard to be a good and decent person, and live in community, I find myself completely alone. But I'm so glad to finally know why at least, although it doesn't fix anything, and I'm too old really to have those things, there's something to be very grateful for when you listen to someone like Dr Barkly, or other late diagnosed women, and finally all those pennies drop, and you know, finally, why things have turned out as they have. At least before I die I can have more understanding of myself and more compassion for myself.
Oh Goodness ... Your comment really touched me 😢. I've just been diagnosed at 57 & coming to terms with the overwhelm of it all🤦🏼♀️. I have yet to find another person my age to talk to who's in the same situation & around the same age. It's a Very Lonely, Sad, Frustrating & Heartbreaking situation I find myself in. With the Absolute Relief of diagnosis & discovering I'm NOT all the terrible things I've been labelled as by others, even more devastatingly my own inner dialogue & battles re my ISSUES is the Struggle of now needing to learn how to deal, cope, manage & try to make my day to day life easier. I'm so sad for ALL the things that could have gone differently if I'd have only known this earlier. Truthfully ... It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride & I wanna get off !!!! I wish you all the best on your journey & just wanted you to know that your comment REALLY Helped me. Thank You 🥰
I got the opportunity to see Dr. Barkley in person in St. Louis, MO during a 2-day workshop. He is fascinating to listen to and as an ADHD person, I was able to focus on his presentation the entire 2 days without distractibility. Now, that's a gift!
I've only got 29 open but they're almost all half finished RU-vid videos that I'm intending to watch but know I won't because I hardly finish anything ever
In some ways, this makes me want to cry, Alexander Marohnic. I am like this too. On the other hand, I sure know a little about a lot of things. I wonder if "polymath" is another name for ADD?
I'm 39, never diagnosed with ADHD, however the more I look into it the more I get a picture of why I am who I am. But I always feel trapped and unable to seek help or get a diagnosis. Around 6 months ago I really began thinking that my mental health problems could be down to ADHD. Before that I was diagnosed with depression some 15 years prior, but never found that the drugs worked, they just made me feel more agitated. My Dad told me that he thinks he have Autism, and more recently saying that one of my primary school teachers thought so too. My Mum also thinks that way. This put me on a path where I thought it could be Asperger's, and that may well be a factor, I have huge issues in social settings, never quite knowing what to say and my brain just locking up so to speak. ADHD on the other hand seems to fit as a descriptor for my mental condition so incredibly well I find it hard to find ways to deny it. Overweight, jobless, poor dental hygiene, impulsive, zero sleep pattern, poor money management, no natural gas due to missed payments (means no hot water on tap), and so on. Honestly makes me angry and upset that all this time I've not been getting the help I so desperately need.
Autism and ADHD affect the same part of our brain. It's possible to have both and I know people including my husband who has Asperger's aka high functioning autism and also has ADHD behaviours too. The symptoms are similar but they are distinctly different diagnoses. Joining a local support group for people with HFA/ADHD helped us to learn more about ourselves as well as ways to adapt our lives to the way our brains process information. I have ADHD with shades of autistic behaviour. I was an odd child. I liked being alone and still prefer lots of alone time. They say I was like a little adult and preferred adult company than my own age group. We are all different even on the spectrum. What matters most is self acceptance and self respect. Being able to love and care for ourselves and not expecting others too. Everyone in the whole world struggles with something so I see that as something that connects us all.
my friend just mentioned this to me. Reading your summary, I thought you were talking about me. Now I want to find out, I hope I can afford the treatment
I know that for people with ADHD this might be hard to listen to- disheartening. But it is good that he's talking about these statistics because then lawmakers can see the facts and KNOW that people with ADHD need help and might put more funds into them getting it. So many people struggle all their lives where at least teachers should have noticed the signs. Teachers and health-care professionals needs to be more educated in what ADHD looks like- so a person doesn't need to go untreated far into their adult life.
Honestly, as someone who has ADHD, I am grateful for how straightforward he is being. It lets me know that no, my disorder really is as bad as I think and I am right to get treatment for it, that I'm not faking.
@@Ignasimp I think being able to raise concerns on common developmental disorders should be something teachers should be able to do- I'm not suggesting being able to pinpoint a diagnosis but notice concerning behavior that affect the child's schoolwork or relationship with other students. Then report it to somebody more fit to do something about these concerns.
@@Toyon95 yeah, and i agree with that, to some degree. That's why i'm watching this videos precisely. The thing is we are being forced to do plenty of things that are not our jobs and then blamed for not doing it perfectly. And the information is not avaliable anywhere. I'm lucky enough to have a good English level and a thirst for knowledge, but this information right here wasn't easy to come by, at all. And now I need to find other high quality videos on all the other mental disorders? XD if anyone knows were to find that i'd be thankful! I was even thinking of doing a master's degree on neuropsicology and education. But then when reading about the subjects and the content there is plenty of pseudoscience there. How can i even trust the oficial sources when that happens?
That example is poor one. It is WNL for an individual to be enthusiastic about a newly discovered data and want to take advantage of an opportunity to talk such a hi- level researcher. IMO, it is a burden of the recipient to politely big off not the enthusiastic learner sensing a golden' opportunity.
I'm so glad I quit smoking, alcohol, went Vegan and cycle a lot. It's not improved the presentation of my ADH Spectra, but Bloody Hell, it's kept the rest of my body on form. My life expectancy hasn't gotten any worse. Now I've got to learn to get my dental health on track. 😌
So I’ve been on medication since I was 22 (I’m 44 now and still alive) and therapy since. What I can say about this video is that he is so spot on. Cheating is a gray area off medication but the moment I got on the right medication (13 failed, got on desoxyn and now recently changed due to the shortage, Vyvanse 70 mg), it was like my brain grew up. Without medication, it’s impossible to thrive due to deficiency of norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain, one that keeps you alert and focused and the other helps emotion. Nicotine does help more than coffee but if you have ADHD you either smoke or vape or drink a lot of coffee or whatever fits in your hyper focused activity. I was self medicating with meth before medication and haven’t touched hard drugs in 22 years. Exercise and proper sleep schedule (if possible) will help shift focus away to other coping mechanisms to hyper focus of a healthy lifestyle. But medication must be used with ongoing therapy because it won’t solve the problem. I’m glad I stumbled upon this video. Everything he’s saying is true. I even almost died from sepsis and heart disease runs in my family and now I know why. There’s no coincidences in life. If you have it, get treated. It’s not a stigma anymore. It’s not bad medicine or speed. It’s medication and wanting to thrive. My twins were just diagnosed with ADHD (6 years old) and it’s been such a ride with all the meetings with school. One boy and one girl. So if you’re a parent reading this, get your kids on meds. They have better options now than 20 years ago and kids with ADHD on medication will get A’s and become honors students. I was able to take calculus and passed! Without medication, it’s all nonsense. Anyone else have kids with ADHD? How are you managing?
As a women who’s struggled ADHD since being diagnosed with it since middle school, I absolutely am aware that my untreated behavior has been getting worse with years going by. I have taken action by my own in learning more about my diagnosis and helping myself with videos like these that make me aware of what can happen in the long run and what are happening in my daily life now. Glad to have peace of mind that I’m not the only one who worries about themselves. I’m trying really hard. I’m very glad there’s people who take time/years researching about ADHD a huge respect towards them all. xoxo
Absolutely. Even though I meant to be responsible I messed up & eventually ended up bankrupt. Lot had to do with low income but I should have known better.
Safe Driving tips for ADHDers: 0) Cycling - It will make the importance of safe driving much more salient if you've spent some time as a cyclist. Also, exercise raises ambient dopamine levels. 1) Systematize & Self-talk - Have explicit systems for scanning your mirrors and restoring your focus to the task at hand. Mumble under your breath things like "Scan left mirror: empty. Return to Front. Onramp: Check for merging cars." 2) Wide-angle rear-view mirror - You can increase the ability to notice things to your right for $10 (or £10 to notice things on the left). 3) Audio *without* visual imagery - You want the mental stimulation but *don't* want something that pulls at your visual working memory. If you love maps, *don't* listen to descriptions of military campaigns which mention rivers or cities. If you can read and visualize music, *don't* listen to music. 4) Quick pausing by voice of any audio. If you have friends, then make it explicit that when you ask them to pause, it is an expression of how much you care for their safety.
If I had found this man's work before I hit 32 and my life was falling to bits and I'd learnt properly about my adhd I think I might have faired better.
I needed to have self discipline to NOT read for pleasure as a child. CONSTANTLY! It was my escape from the problems caused by my inability to self regulate.
I did that too as a child. I would rather read than play. I still do it now at 51. I will read a novel over doing housework or anything else. I will justify it to myself, just one more chapter and I will do the dishes etc. Before I know it it is 2am and I have finished the book.
@@TheFaro2011 True! Like now you mean? 😂 I moved house recently and found loads of old books, thought, I must read some. What am I doing? Scrolling through RU-vid 🤦♀️
I've been married for 29 years, but luckily enough I have a very understanding husband. His patience with me is absolutely unbelievable. It hasn't been easy, but I went into therapy for ten years, and combined with medications I'm better than ever. I hope everything turns out well for you. 💙
My husband has it, and is on meds for it. But, he doesn't learn about it, or do the behavior therapy. I've been as patient as I can, but it's absolutely worn me to shreds. The chaos, the anger, impulsivity, breaking things, and my needs not getting met have caused me a lot of personal pain. He doesn't consider what I need as a spouse, and we've lived like separate people. It's been damaging to my self esteem while he continues staying in denial of ADHD symptoms. I don't nag him about this, and never have. But, this is why I learn on sites like this, it helps.
I'm ADHD and I chose to never have children from the time I was a child. I'm 45 1/2 now and believe it was the best decision I ever made. Children deserve good parents and I know I wouldn't be a good one.
I agree. I have 4 kids and have passes on trauma to them because of my adhd and autism traits. It doesn't help that they have it too. I love my kids but they don't seem to understand my love language. I have RSD and PDA too which makes my interactions with people and the behaviours I exhibit. I don't wish that I didn't have my kids, they are amazing, but I wish I could have been a better parent. I'm sure my mum had the same conditions but I didn't realise until after her death. We had a terrible relationship and I didn't speak to her for the last 5 years of her life. ADHD and autism need to be taken more seriously as it ruins lives.
Sadly I agree. Seeing how my ADHD has not given my son a responsible road map for life. Though not diagnosed he seems to have many of the characteristics of ADHD.
@@keilana6 so many parents feel guilty about what ttheir adhd kids have experienced life but given that 79% of adhd is genetic (apparently), most of those parents are also struggling and are also trying to teach their kids to be NT so thet they avoid the same issues that have faced but if they couldn't do it themselves how can they teach their ND kids. We tend to accept our kids more of we are ND but we so desperately want to protect them. Society has to change, not us
I love this man. I would be the happiest person having him as my therapist. Even listening to his lectures with interesting studies is my kind of therapy
I love the way Mr Barkley explains the symptoms of ADHD. Especially the driving, it's a miracle of God that I didn't seriously hurt someone. I'm 60 years of age. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I've been sober since 95 ODAAT 12 step programme and good sponsorship. But I felt there was something still not right with me. I was diagnosed by way of the Barkley scale from the Maudsley hospital London 👍💯🇬🇧
I dont drive so none of the driving symptoms catch me, but this is why I dont drive. I'm deathly afraid of it. When I'm walking down the street I space in thought. Im afraid of that happening to me in a car.
They war he talks is so easy to understand. I can listen to him talking about the scientific sides of ADHD for hours. I’m glad we have people like him in this world. Thank you, Sir!
Such a great speaker - fast tempo, knowledgeable, data-specific, some laughs, regularly coming back to the reason why this finding is important - actually easy for ADHD listener to follow, thank you
My sister and I were both diagnosed within two years of each other in adulthood without the other knowing. My mother had my sister when she was 17 and my sister had her first child at 18. A lot of what Dr. Barkley says is spot on with my family...Even down to taking the car out before being licensed for a joy ride when nobody was home.
I have been tested and been banned in the Netherlands to get a driver's license if I am not medicated. Due to these videos I am much more understanding about this decision.
As a mother of a child with ADHD, and a wife of a husband with it as well. He is a major source of my sanity, and my ability to "manage" my home effectively by knowing what allowances to make and how to work within everyone's ability.
As you watch these videos and this one in particular, it brings you to tears as he is, in so many ways, is describing your life. Thank God I don't have driving or drugs issues other than (sugar).
Anyone else listening to this while finishing off assignments? I find this man the most stimulating conversationalist and the best background study "sound".
Dr. Russell Barkley is an absolute ADHD treasure. He is consistently on the frontline of ADHD research, fighting to spread awareness of the facts. It's also unreal, how the descriptions he lays out correlate with me like 90%. It's like he is describing, specifically ME, up there. It is effing BONKERS. Frankly, it's almost disturbing, just how much can be described about a person without even knowing them. 😬
I consider myself to be an extremely skilled driver, never had an accident in 24 years of driving. I don't consider myself to be very skilled at much else. My dad would take me driving from childhood. I love driving, going quickly, hugging the apex, properly accelerating to get onto the highway, predicting what is going to happen in other lanes, parallel parking, etc., but I am extremely impatient, and get serious serious road rage because I view 90% of other drivers as being incompetent, slow, inconsiderate, not spatially aware, and in my way. They cause unnecessary traffic jams, they brake when they do not need to, they don't make full use of the merge lane to get up to speed, they sit in the fast lane impeding traffic, they're scared to change lanes or believe it is dangerous, the list goes on. I suspect a lot of this comes from overly cautious driving instructors and lack of practice. I'm very pigheaded about this issue and I think I should have been an F1 driver lol...
I've been married 3 times (on third and final marriage now) first child at 18, second at 20. Divorced by 21. Married again at age 28, had 2 kids, divorced at the age of 32. Met my currsnt husband at age 33, he was 22. We got married 6 years after we got together, have been together all up 12 years and have 1 child together. He pays the bills because i will put them in a drawer or ignore emails. He is my rock. My best friend is 14 years younger. I think that we are younger in the brain. I definitely don't feel like a grown up
I am wide-eyed at how much is we myself and my family in this detailed and comprehensive description. I would be the first in my family realise the major effects of ADHD. I cannot praise Dr Barkley enough for all the work he is doing. This has changed my whole world and my family’s future
This Teacher is hitting quite a few points I have found myself in his Talks with us. He has been there and done that. Or, he has worked and studied ADHD patience’s. I could and do listen to his Talk all the time. I need to learn so much as to how to apply myself to helping myself being medicated for the ADHD I have. Not to forget I am older now, 53!
I wanted to scream at my first job when before I left, I asked my project manager to give me general advice to go on with life. And he said “follow through what you said you’re going to do”. I wanted to ask him so badly to give me a specific example because I made an extraordinary effort everyday to follow through what I said I was going to do. To hear him say that, not knowing what I did to offend him, hurt me so much because I always write things that, cross things out and finish the task. It’s like I want to scream “I don’t even know what I didn’t do”. It’s one thing if it’s on purpose and I just wanted to be an asshole. But it wasn’t. It’s me trying so hard everyday to be as normal as everyone else
I am 51 and diagnosed 2 years ago. When I first watched this man 2 years ago, I found him grating but 2 years later, I realise how people do not take my diagnosis seriously compared to my sons autism. I now know, how seriously ADHD has effected me and continues to do so, so kudos to him.
Every single thing he said apart from teenage pregnancy (I have reason for why that didn't happen) I can absolutely 100% relate too. My insurance is through the roof.
I have adult ADHD. I think Dr. Barkley is amazing. I sought help for years but because I didn't show hyperactivity and presented well, even though I told therapists about my history, my life failures, my current life issues, no one took me seriously. It had to get very bad.
This is the best described and most depressed lecture I have ever looked at. I really feel that my life sucks even harder now. I wished adhd was more known when I was a kid not now as an adult.
[Playing a video game with flashing icon pointing directly to the goal] "Where tf do I go?" [Watching a video of an old man giving a dissertation on neurological disorder] "I am completely enthralled"
I'd love to take your driving test, only a few speeding tickets in my life, only accidents I've been in, I was hit while stopped and not my fault. I actually predict other drivers behavior very well. I'm hyper aware while driving.
I grew up in the 60s and 70s when ADHD wasn't known, teachers used corporal punishment, shame and humiliation to mitigate my behaviors and learning difficulties. I am glad to hear this man discuss ADHD openly and know the world will be a better place for people with this. I was a professional firefighter paramedic for 30 years, going on high stress-SHTF calls was my Adderall.
This is the best ADHD information I have ever seen after 20 years of raising two kids and a husband with ADHD. Husband is now IT manager of a major mining firm with a team of twenty, so there is hope for you all! Children doing acting and film making
I actually highly appreciate how he explains and validates how adhd can cause such chaos in yr life and highly effects yr self worth rather than the usual dismissive comments of how significantly it impacts yr life because u allow it to by using it as yr excuse for yr slackness .. ouch !! Now that’s a hard one to swallow when yr struggling to function and hating that yr not seeming to be capable of doing what seems so easy for everyone else. It’s embarrassingly, frustrating, and constant. It makes u hurt people unintentionally and presents laziness, selfishness or just an excuse u use to dismiss what a hopeless misfit you are so there’s absolutely no glamour in that believe me.
I usually have to rewind so many times then I give up, I kind of forget I was watching it then go back to it, so many half watched videos. This is one I intend to go back to, it seems very interesting 🤔
Cannabis isn't for coping with life's problems. Cannabis helps with what you have described as the main problem of ADHD, which is the suppression of emotions.
I've tried medical cannabis. I talked my bloody head off for 2 hours. I was so pinged, I never want to attempt it again. I feel sorry for the person who's eat I chewed off. Also I would crack a joke that was twisted so much it have 3 (or more) hilarious possible outcomes. Only my daughter laughed because she understands me and also is of the tribe. I was so exhausted by the end of the night. Not to mention a little embarrassed.
*I forgot when 8 o'clock was* Trying to explain this to someone who just understands time is one of the most difficult and patronizing things I've ever tried to do. It just looks like you don't care to everyone else.
33, diagnosed ADHD Combined Type this year. My brother and this man are responsible for me learning about it and getting me to treat it. Well, there's also autism in there too, as my psychologist suspects it. But still!
I’m so happy I found this. Thank you so much for all of your research and hard work. This gave me a lot of tools on how to understand and support my partner and his ADHD, coping, tendencies and social interactions. I’m sorry about your twin brother. Many blessings to you and your loved ones, peers and research staff.
i've accidentally shoplifted before. When I was a little kid, I took some toys for birthday gift bags, and I straight up forgot to bring it out to pay for it once I left the store with my mom. I felt so bad afterwards that I kept asking to go back to the store so I could pay for them.
This man describes remarkably well every single problem that I encountered in my life. The worst about this disease is that since it's my daily reality since I can think, that this is normal. And that every failure is rooted in me being lazy and dumb. I am not absolving myself from anything. I could have researched this way more intensely and way earlier to find a solution. But I deluded myself into believing that this is how it is and I just have to try harder. But all I did with that is just avoiding the necessary steps for years. Again the worst thing about this sickness is your own inability to see it as such.
Dr Barkley: People with ADHD are more likely to have their licenses suspended or drive recklessly Me: hold on I'm a safe driver Dr Barkley: ...and more likely to have speeding tickets or be impatient looking for parking spots Me: ah, shoot
The survival stats are incredible. I drive for a living and have made it to age 65 with everything intact. I gave up the ADHD style of driving back around 1984 and have been point and ticket free ever since. Knock on wood.
I have to say I am guilty of just about everything while unmedicated (I was undiagnosed until I was 27).... Except I have never wrecked my car or got a ticket. However, part of that is due to anxiety (scared to death of other vehicles) and luck (open highway I tend to go 5-10 over). I also work best when stressed (hello dopamine!!) I always reactively avoided car accidents... No intention there, just responding to an emergency. I have made silly little mistakes in minor situations in my own driveway where I feel safe - I rolled into my husband's van because he doesn't usually park behind me. 🙈🙈 I look back every time now! 🤣 I pray stay this lucky. And I had no clue about nicotine! Wow! Explains why I loved it when I began at 17 and why it SUCKED quitting only a couple years later. It was horrible!
@@keilana6 it's funny I have not checked this video for over a year. And I just wanted to send to a friend who I think has adhd and I saw your response and I am curious how we connect because I have never met anyone who could really my kind of crazy life I a So somehow was able to somewhat practice law for almost 30 years
It's so true for me about realisation at a later age (early 40s). It's a time where taking stock and realising where you are in life (versus where you ought to be) is unavoidable. Although I'd completed my art degree and had a relatively successful career as a graphic designer I had not been able to actually use my natural talents and progress to an Art Director role because I was also struggling with my symptoms (I had to scrape by, work through the night to meet deadlines, hide my messiness and lack of organisation, redo jobs because I didn't take in and retain all the info etc). Personal life was also a disaster: bad debts, terrible credit rating, impulsively moving home, no savings, broken relationships, an affair, an abusive relationship, abortions, drug abuse... just a great big mess. I nicknamed myself 'Calamitys Child' I wish I was diagnosed sooner
I so relate to your comment. I am a 51-year-old obstetrician gynecologist, who just got diagnosed. It is difficult to confront what untreated ADHD has cost me in my life. So it comes with a wave of fear and regret and what if…. that just crashes over you. Next comes a comforting wave of relief that you now understand. You have believed for so long that you were just broken and incapable. In this relief, you can confront those beliefs for the lies that they are, and learn to tell yourself a new story. Brace yourself, because next comes away with fear and anxiety about the future. Because now that you know, you need to do the work to learn how to live with it, so that you change the course of your life going forward, no matter what happened back there. It’s just the wake of the boat. Don’t get trapped into thinking that it drives the boat. Go take the wheel. It’s terrifying because when you do so, you’ll have to look at where your boat has travelled while you were lost in the wake and actually take some steps in the direction of taking your life where you actually want it to go. In this way, the diagnosis of ADHD is a gift, even if you had to traverse all those nasty rapids to find it. Much love.