Adult Children of Alcoholics: Putting Your ACA, ACoA Recovery into Action

Подписаться 3,8 тыс.

Просмотров 1,9 тыс.

50% 1

It works if you work it, and it won't if you don't...
Recovery is a program of ACTION coming from love. Without initiating action to try and change thoughts, feelings and actions, emotional recovery may never happen. Childhood trauma, rejection, abandonment, and toxic shame won't magically go away. "This is the action and work that heals us..."
The link to the ACA Laundry List Worksheet is in the comments below.
I'm Ken Francis, M.S., California licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of The Intimacy Gram and The Gratitude Snorkel and Other Bedtime Stories. I specialize in Alcohol Addiction treatment, Substance Use Disorder Treatment, trauma recovery, and group therapy. With Covid-19 social distancing practices, I have had to stop teaching classes at my clinic. This video and others are my attempt to make my educational topics available to my patients. I have placed them on RU-vid so others can benefit. Please like and subscribe to get more videos on recovery: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Alanon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Mindfulness, good Mental Health and Self Care.
Website: TheIntimacyGram.com
#The_Intimacy_Gram
#alcoholicsanonymous
#narcoticsanonymous #adultchildrenofalcoholics
#alanon #ACoA #recoveryquotes #TheLovingParentGuidebook

Опубликовано:

18 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 30

@pugginspice 9 дней назад

Ken, I’m a 58 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I am so grateful for your videos having just discovered you. I definitely have minimized my emotional needs and try to be perfect in relationships so I don’t rock the boat. I have done this forever and never thought there was anything wrong with it.

@TheIntimacyGram 6 дней назад

Welcome to your journey towards emotional recovery!

@terryrustad1800 19 часов назад

I completely relate Pugginspice! 🙂

@indira_germany_ 10 месяцев назад

Something else I'd love to share: Someone in an ACA meeting once said he always reads The Promises in the present tense, as if they were already coming true. (1. We are discovering our true identity by loving and accepting ourselves. ...) At first I thought what a good idea this is, along the lines of "fake it til you make it." In the meantime my fellow traveler and I read them exclusively in this version at the end of our step meeting and I must say that it feels totally right, because they ARE coming true.

@TheIntimacyGram 10 месяцев назад

Awesome!!!

@jessebelanger9753 4 месяца назад

That's great. I think I'll try that👍

@jessdragonify 10 месяцев назад

Hi Ken, I just recently started watching your videos and I am working a 12 step program. Your videos have helped me to identify that I have been in isolation lately doing no meetings to only zoom meetings and so to break out of my comfort zone. I have started going back to in person meetings before, the before meeting actual meeting and staying for the after meeting talking to people and exchanging phone numbers and this has helped me break out of my isolation

@TheIntimacyGram 10 месяцев назад

I'm glad you heard the message! Congrats on taking a huge step forward! 👍

@jessdragonify 10 месяцев назад

@@TheIntimacyGram did my first ACA zoom meeting today!

@evelynmontez3565 3 месяца назад

I'm amazed. I don't take action! I will take steps to change now.

@TheIntimacyGram 3 месяца назад

Going to meetings is a great first step, but it can start to feel comfortable after a while. And we don't grow when we are comfortable. Living the 12 steps and the 12 traditions will make a difference in your life.

@indira_germany_ 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video. I love this meditation from "Strengthening My Recovery" on this topic: “Recovery takes effort.“ BRB p. 5 A Higher Power provides food for all the birds on earth but doesn't put it in their mouths. It would be nice to just sit in the rooms of recovery and let the program sink in by osmosis without having to work at it. Some of us have tried this, a few for many years, and wondered why we were not experiencing much change. We may be substance-free but we continue to have emotional chaos and dysfunction in our lives and in our heads. Eventually, if we're lucky, it will dawn on us that, try as we might, change will not happen without significant effort on our part. And we need the program, our fellow travelers, and most of all our Higher Power. If we're stalled, we open our minds and hearts to see what works for others. Maybe the same thing will work for us. We've been continuously told that recovery takes effort. And as we do the work, we realize that recovery does not bring the absence or storms, but it gives us a much needed umbrella we never had before. On this day I will leave “the nest“ and do the work necessary for the recovery that will change my life.

@TheIntimacyGram 10 месяцев назад

I love it!

@terryrustad1800 19 часов назад

Excellent... Gratitude and Appreciation 🙂

@TheIntimacyGram 19 часов назад

Thank you for your support!

@anothermalex 7 месяцев назад

I heard these two sentences this way: “repeatedly doing the same things expecting the same result” IS “putting ourselves in harm’s way.” Harm’s way.” I never heard that phrase used in ACA. Whoa. I’m asking HP to lessen that shortcoming and balance it out with becoming an actor, not a reactor, and SEEING THINGS FOR WHAT THEH REALLY ARE, NOT WHAT THEY COULD BE, NOT GETTING HIGH ON FANTASY OF CONTROL,”. It may sound a little brutal but I liken it to a foster parent taking in a foster kid. Due to extreme pain and abandonment, this teen let’s say, is repeatedly putting herself in harms way. They assumed care for her and it’s their responsibility to to take a firm hand … together with love, understanding & patience. I picture a combo of Mr. Rogers gentleness and a friendly coach or one of those TV dads.

@rleeann5798 9 месяцев назад

Ken, in ACA it’s about taking a searching and blameless inventory on our parents. We make amends first to ourselves. By finding out what happened to us; which may include “narcissistic” abuse, an “alcoholic”parent. It’s important to assign accountability where it belongs because most likely as ACA’s we took blame for it all, or absorbed the dysfunction becoming it or both. I needed labels because it helped me identify abuse and dysfunction. I had no idea when others were being inappropriate towards me until I learned about the drama/victim triangle, ACA laundry list and the flip side, codependency/enmeshment, and so many other clinical terms. They saved my life, but I don’t identify as a victim, or saint.

@TheIntimacyGram 9 месяцев назад

Yes! Blameless is the key word. "Name it, don't blame it" BRB pg. 52 It's important to identify these dysfunctional traits, but many fail to work past the resentments that those with these traits have created. It sounds like you have taken action, done the work, and are reaping the rewards. Thank you for sharing this!

@martinhatton4402 3 месяца назад

read lots but like you say lots around not taking ACTION, THANKS

@TheIntimacyGram 3 месяца назад

One step at a time, even if baby steps!

@user-pc9yb9vi5k 10 месяцев назад

Thanks for the laundry list benchmark idea! That makes a lot of sense and offers some relief - it's hard to know where I am in recovery and if you're making progress, if I'm backsliding in some areas and by how much, what needs attention. Your videos are great

@TheIntimacyGram 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much!