Adum & Pals: Abduction 

"I'm in the hospital." "I'm gay." "I'm a wolf" Typical furry problems

I feel like Taylor Lautner peaked with Shark boy and Lava girl

The "I'll kill all your friends on Facebook" line is so hilarious. Like, I'd love to watch the bad guy figure out how to get away with going to a couple hundred random teenagers' houses and individually murdering all of them. And, like, he has to fly to Chicago to kill some random girl who Taylor friended after meeting once during a vacation, or something.

“Send my hate mail to my grave.” Is such a powerful fucking phrase to have in an Adum and Pals

Weird fact: IRL Taylor Lautner’s parents are both white with German, French and Dutch ancestry, although with distant Native American roots. The craziest shit Twilight has done is convince the world that Taylor Lautner is actually full-blooded Native American.

Lily Collin’s character is basically the self insert OC/reader who the author shoves in as a tag along just for the added romantic scenes they wrote

This movie was quite a big deal in Sweden, because of the guy that played “Kozlow”, Michael Nyqvist- it was supposed to be his jump to Hollywood fame after the success of the OG Swedish “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”-movies so a lot of people watched it here, he came to be in international movies like John Wick, Mission Impossible... Sadly he passed away 4 years ago, a real Swedish legendary actor, R.I.P. Michael, you’re awesome💖

At first I thought this movie would be cool, because finding out your parents abducted you at a young age is a really interesting concept with lots of nuances to explore. And then it got stupid

"suddenly everyone around me is dying, Karen" is a truly prophetic line

Regarding the Jaimie Lee Curtis/ Sigourney Weaver problem that Adam had. I read a paper in college about blocking words. From what I can remember: Your brain, when going through the process of recalling a word, will very quickly go through a process of throwing out words and stopping at the correct one. Now acknowledging the correct word, your brain puts a shunt on recollection and moves on to whatever problem solving function it was heading toward. That correct word is the "blocking word." Rarely, the brain will recognize an incorrect word as the blocking word, and it will not allow you to go back to the process of recollection. You'll know it's wrong, but it will persist as the word your looking for. Adam started with Jaimie (Lee Curtis), and then couldn't recall the name of an actress he definitely knew. I could be wrong. It was a while ago since I read the paper, and I'm not a psychologist.

This is like Taken but with a Taylor Lautner that has Oedipus Complex, really avant garde.

Can we imagine the version of this movie where instead of Karen being randomly assigned to him, fucking Kyle the tech nerd or Brent the linebacker got paired and this turned into a buddy comedy crime thriller?

I wonder if the teacher ever realized that him giving out that assignment got multiple people killed

"Asking me to know this white woman is LITERALLY violence." 😆

People who are into bikes and cars know what it's like to have a project car/bike you're always fixing but somehow never get done. It's mostly for therapeutic reasons. No need to rush it, just fix the car and process the complexities of life, like imprinting on cgi demon babies and being allergic to shirts...

You guys should do the Fifty Shades trilogy since the books were essentially based off of the author’s shitty Twilight fan fiction she wrote on her Blackberry phone (lol)! Also, you guys should do Sharkboy and Lavagirl if you guys plan on doing more Taylor Lautner movies!

I'll say this, the fact Taylor's character actually broke his ankle off that stunt in the third act is a level of realism I would not have expected from this.

In another life, Taylor Lautner could’ve been Batman.

Dude rest in peace Scott :(( these hit different now

"send my hate mail to my grave" -- new epitaph just dropped, who's gonna use it

I feel like with every other Adum & Pals I was able to understand the basic plot but I have no idea what was happening in this one

Sigourney sounds more like an adjective than a name.

I don't know how much time goes into editing these Adum and Pals episodes, but I am extremely thankful. One of my favorite things to watch on the internet. MOAR.

I always watch the Adum and Pals version before the commentary, it’s like watching the trailer right before the full movie

RIP Scoot, I just rewatched this one on Friday because you made some of the funniest jokes on this video.

I'm dedicating my whole life to becoming a filmmaker to bring back Taylor Lautner

Dumb fact: The scenes for the baseball game at 16:28 was shot on August 22, 2010, in the bottom of the third inning. You could tell as it's the Pirates facing the Mets, with Ronny Cedeno for the Pirates (#13) on first, Zach Duke in the #57 is batting and running to first base, the Mets' Ruben Tejada (#11) is covering first, and the Mets seem to be fucking up a play in the infield. The only season where Duke & Tejada would've faced off when they were members of those teams would be 2010. Given that Duke is a pitcher, he only played in a total of 29 games that year. Out of those 29, his only start against the Mets at PNC Park (the Pirates' home stadium) was on August 22nd. And you can tell this is the bottom of the third inning as that was the only inning that Cedeno got on base all game, and this play in particular is the 2nd out of the inning, as the Mets let Duke's pop-up bunt fall to the ground. However, as Cedeno made the mistake of going back to first, thinking the pop-up would be caught, the Mets were able to get the force out at 2nd. Thank BaseballReference for this btw.

If a mom came into the room and asked her son if he wanted the door open or closed and he said closed, while I'm only there to do a group project, I would be terrified I was going to get raped.

Its from the director of Boyz N Tha Hood so Lautner now has street cred & could join any gang

Fun Fact: One of Lily Collins's very first auditions was for Bella Swan in Twilight

"'cause you got SUPER ADOPTED." As someone who actually is adopted... this was absolutely hilarious. :D

Dude gets thrown out of a train window, fucking dabs on the way out. What a champ

*WE WERE SAYING HE WAS BETTER THAN EDWARD WE DIDNT SAY HE WAS GOOD*

The thing that I just realized is that the title is completely misleading! Nobody gets really abducted, Taylor's character was left voluntarily by his birth parents and the rest of the plot features exactly 0 abductions.

After watching this, it made me realise that Michael Nyqvist played the role of the villain in 3 films- Abduction, Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol and John Wick. Rip to that man.

If this were Synecdoche, New York, you would've given this a 10/10.

*"Send my hate-mail to my grave."* Adam Johnston, 2021.

This is literally the only way I'd ever watch Abduction

The first credit in the cast is for "CIA man"

I will now only refer to pregnancy as having a bomb in the oven

7:22 - Taylor fucking rotating into the pool from the explosion killed me.

People who cared about their Facebook friends in 2011: Teenagers and University Students People who care about their Facebook friends in 2021: People ages 50+

Maybe it’s *because* the chairs flip up that the other guy found the gun! I’ve cracked the code

I'd love to see you guys tackle Riverdale since you already did 13 Reasons Why.

New adum and pals I have the motivation to live another day.

I think eating a meal provided by the CIA, then still being able to run away. Is way to fking hilarious XD

Totally forgot about this movie until this uploaded. I remember back in 2011 thinking this looked like a Bourne ripoff action film with Taylor Lautner.

Taylor Lautner looking more out of place in this family than that crying kid from Hereditary

_"[Taylor Lautner] can't carry a movie any more than Abigail Breslin can carry a refrigerator."_ - R. Kurt Oselund of Slate Magazine That about sums it up. Also, that John Singleton's directorial career had to end on this note is kinda sad.

"I made one tiny colossal mistake." I don't think you know how words work, chief.

You absolutely need to talk about Ridiculous 6. Lautner plays an inbred hillbilly streotype. It's pretty painful lol

I would love to see them review Sharkboy & Lavagirl if they do another Taylor Lautner film.

I can only imagine over half the audience checking out over the "kill every friend on facebook" line.

I hate the trope of "Bomb blows up, everyone runs, they get thrown by the explosion" If the explosion was powerful enough to lift you up and fling you like that, you are already dead because it also ruptured several organs and blood vessels inside of you.

Honestly if I had been abducted as a child and was living in that home I'd just say fuck it this is my family now. Why risk finding your real parents who you now have to live with, only for them to be meth heads. "Yes! I no longer have to have a good education and prospects! I now sell drugs for my dad!"

Who's gonna tell them that the ageing technology actually exists and is actually used to find missing kids.

This movie follows like a damn fanfiction

The most unrealistic thing is the amount of people at a Pirates game.

I watched this in theaters. I was really bored that day and I thought Alien Lady would be in it more.

Adum struggling with Alien lady's name was adorable.

"Super adopted" and "send my hate mail to my grave" are stand outs here

So Gael's brother is the chad... I feel like that's a good Gael-Lore tidbit

Literally every expression Taylor makes is awkward, it's hilarious but it does make me wonder how anybody ever thought he would be good for a leading role lol

I love how Adum couldn't remember Sigourney Weaver's name even though it was in the opening credits.

1:48 Missed a Wolf/Dog whistling joke opportunity guys. Best low hanging fruit.

"Baek baek! Ugh..." "Sorry, are you trying to bark?" "I'mma wolf, I'll show you! Awooo..." I don't know why this broke me so hard, but it did. XD

Correction: We're all gonna die before Adum finishes Synecdoche

Kinda sad that this guy never made a comeback like robert pattinson

I love how they have Launter ruin his ankle falling off the rail to him standing and walking normally when he was offered to live with his psychologist/counciler to him limping off in the credits

7:59 How are you NOT able to remember Sigourney Weaver's name? Her defining feature is how fucking weird her name is. How unique it is should make it easier to remember, surely.

“Send my hate mail to my grave” needs to be on a t shirt

I feel like Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl would be a good Taylor Lautner movie to watch.

Holy shit this played at my school and the memories are flooding back

This commentary track unlocked the memory in my mind that I have actually seen this movie in theatres. What brought it all back was him passed out drunk on the grass right at the start. I guess it made an impression on me lol

It's funny they make Alfred Molina go "Get me pictures of Spiderman!" seeing as he is Doctor Octopus.

15:04 Wow now I realized that's Doc Ock

Probably the most tragic part of this fiasco is this was director John Singleton’s final movie. Yes, the man who directed Poetic Justice and Boyz N the Hood. Freakin’ tragedy.

They did a showing of this film at my university with the director (Taylor mysteriously wasn’t there) it was very hard not to ask them why they didn’t make a better movie during the Q&A

honestly you guys are my favorite movie commentary group of all time

The makeout scene from this movie has 30 million views on youtube

Huh, that’s weird Adum. This still isn’t a Dune review

You know at first I didn't like the whole "sit down and talk about the movie as you watch it" vibe but I swear you guys have such a weirdly attractive chemistry. You slowly sucked me in and now I'm an avid fan of this stuff.

Fun fact, that river isn't muddy, it's full of iron and mine runoff Also, how dare they disgrace my city with this shitty film

"What if instead of Sigourney Weaver is Sugoffme weiner?" Nick Mullen, probably

Thank you so so much Adam. I had to stop being a patron as I balance supporting myself and family and my own hopes of creating.. my cat.. anyway I hope you know how cherished your content is to us who watch religiously, especially the pals.. you deserve all the support however we can give it as an audience, and I hope someday I can directly contribute again sometime soon!

I always enjoy a good Adum & Pals

Lautner looks like the kid you'd be fine having work on the farm, but you don't wanna leave him alone in the chicken coop.

I would die for Scoot.

Adum: "I love Abs-duction"

I've inexplicably known the exact spelling to Sigourney Weaver's name ever since I watched Alien's special features or whatever at 6, it makes me irrationally angry that Adam can't do the same.

Since Adam had such an issue with Sigourney Weaver's name her old name is Susan Alexandra Weaver. She changed her name at 14 after reading the Great Gatsby and stated she never really liked her name Susan and thought it never fit her. So she named herself after a character that resonated with her.

3:57 the way adam mumbly said "carona virus" gave me life

We're just not gonna talk about how that was Phil Collins' daughter playing "love interest" (TM)?

Hearing Adam struggle to remember Sigourney weaver's name was what I needed today

A friend and I were just talking about this movie at work holy shit. Or more accurately Taylor Lautner's acting career and direction, also that editing with the Shawn meme but Nathan instead is great

There are laws on international waters. You are bound by the laws of a country your boat is registered. Thats why most cruise ships are registered in Panama so they don't have to pay minimum wage

14:01 That was, indeed, hilarious.

‘YOURE A WOLF NOT A BEAVER’ Nah he’s shark boy

Cuckoo is an ok british sitcom and Taylor is actually good in it, he found a role that really suits him. I only watched one season I think, idk how far along its now

I wanted to be nice and say that Taylor Lautner at least seems to be doing a better job acting than in the Twilight series and then I got to the action scene and I wanna take these thoughts back