I hope you found what you need. My suggestion is looking for a trauma therapist. You don’t necessarily have to rehash traumas. There are a variety of methods to address issues at present that come from the past. Coping tools.. often CBT based therapies help here. I really found the following book very helpful. It’s great for lay people and providers. It’s called Childhood disrupted when your biography becomes your biology by Nakawaza. Something near that!
@@kalvinthompson5807 I hear that many people are having great success with daily journaling, writing down resentments, bringing awareness to the programmed triggers that lead us into emotional dysregulation issues. Amygdala hijacks basical, fight flight freeze response. That a choice can emerge to not go down these same programmed pathways that destroy relationships and our lives. EDMR therapy can help to reshape early memories in ways that can serve us. What individuals aren't realizing is that normally our conscious mind keeps a behaviour that actually serves us, were as in severe trauma the programming is not conscious, so the triggers remain unconcious.
I’m 31 and just coming to understanding that I have an ACE score of 9... no sexual abuse, thank god. Anyway, working on myself and trying to change my family tree. I have a lovely wife, good job, masters degree, and most importantly - a little girl of my own. We’ve been able to give our child a beautiful and stable upbringing thus far. I’m not without my wounds, because I never stopped to think about it all until now, but watching these videos, learning about myself, and speaking with a therapist is helping me open my mind and heart to deeper love and understanding of others. I’ve been able to navigate the world and adulthood just fine, but sometimes it feels detached as though I’m watching my new life on TV.
“I have to be afraid of losing the people I love”, so this fear prevents me from expressing my anger about what’s not okay for me. Avoiding certain actions or situations (through fear) helps us stay safe, but it can also lead to a state of anxiety or an ingrained pattern of avoidant behavior that becomes normal in the long term. Operating from an underlying state of fear or avoidance becomes so normal that we no longer even notice it. If we didn’t operate through fear, that is, by repressing our emotions and ourselves, we could discover that it’s actually much safer to live, experience, and express through presence-being connected and having a deep sense of clarity about what’s happening in the moment. In other words, it’s much safer to operate from a sense of presence than from a sense of fear.❤
My ace score is 9. Both parents suffered abuse as children. Both in turn abused drugs and alcohol. Neither stop using substances. Being the oldest of 3 I raised my siblings. We had a hard life and as of now I've done great by everyone else's standards. I have children, married, work and live a typical life. Except I have to keep moving, keeping my mind busy, as soon as I stop or take a break I go into a depression. I can't stop moving, or improving things or I'll drown in the emotional turmoil inside. It's like being lost in a dark cave looking at a tiny speck of light. You follow it for days, months, years. Knowing that if you turn around even for a second you'll lose it, you'll die in that darkness and nobody will ever find you.
So glad to see this as a branch of science and medicine. I can say from personal experiences that ACEs not only change the trajectory of your life but also how your body and mind function. I wish I had known this (and received help) much earlier in my life. Now I choose to advocate to help others.
Great advancement for what behavioral medicine already knew but now the evidence to back it up Is extremely robust with ACES. I’m pleased to learn that other mental health researchers are advancing ACES to include traumas related to race related trauma risks you are automatically born into by nature of your skin color. That’s fascinating!
I definitely learned a lot from this video. I never would've thought that ACEs can have lasting impacts on brain development and can possibly be passed on to future generations.
My ace score was a 6 and I attempted suicide (I am now physically disabled as a result). I didn't connect the two until my therapist pointed it out as a contributing factor. Even now my mom refuses to acknowledge it was my physical, mental, sexual, & emotional abuse from her & my dead (even more physically abusive) dad that contributed to my being brain dead and on life support.
Sadly, most have personality disorders and/or are traums survivors themselves but didn’t seek treatments to help them with emotional regulation, parenting skills, etc. Definitely not excusing the abuse they delivered. It’s helpful that we seek to break the transgenerational cycle of violence. Fortunately we have more tools available. Less stigma and much more effective trauma informed care that continues to increase especially after the ACES research. We can’t control our abusers choices to deny/avoid/pretend that nothing happened, however, we can work towards reclaiming our lives and not carry the abuser within whose aim to cause us to victimize ourselves!
Adverse childhood events are entirely preventable with evidence-based policy - this video tells the story of trauma-stress-relationships really well. Thanks for this great learning tool!
The one problem I have with the Ace score is that it talks a out female victims of domestic violence only. I witnessed my father being abused in childhood. That was traumatic
Kia Ora, No ACE is not solely about victim's of DV...it is about childhood..not genderbased. There is more info ..about this study and development of predetermined set of circumstances a child is exposed too. Look into this a little more.
My father was in the navy and that meant a lot of moving around. We eventually settled down in a fairly rough housing estate with gangs of bullies roaming around. I never felt safe and my parents were useless, telling me that I should stick up for myself. They were unsupportable and I ended up serving time in an adolescent psychiatric unit in my early teens. That place was like an open prison where staff regularly searched my belongings and drugged me by force.
@@@bemeeklezvelveeta6719: A Court Appointed Special Advocate, I advocate for kids who are in the foster care system, at school, for services they made need or be eligible for, and at court :D
@@swishasw33t-on-the-beat819 oh dang. I was in foster care for 10 years, I didn't knoe my casa. Or would she have been my caseworker? I met my caseworker
@@bemeeklezvelveeta6719 it's not a caseworker :) it's actually not even a paid job. I volunteer for this position. I was in resource placements most of my childhood, and this is why I wanted to help other kids. I never know exactly what another person is going through since we all process and experience our own hardships individually different, but I do have an understanding of what these children within the foster care system may be going through.
Smoking: anecdotal evidence. My grandfather (1914-2013) was a smoker, Nazi concentration camps survivor, took very limited pharma-medical remedies, and lived 99 years in the harsh climate of West Ural mountains in the USSR. His nutrition through his life in the USSR was poor not to mention starvation in Nazi's concentration camps, smoking up to his 60th BDay (then quitting), stressors were plenty, prolonged, and abusive all the time from the communists for being a betrayer as if sparing his life by surrendering to Nasi's (not fighting to the death for USSR in WW2), but God gave him a very long life given these life events. I only may provide my most educated guess that in his childhood Russia was in last years of its highest economic peak of 1913 and my grandfather somehow benefited from that without ACEs in his early life.
Hello, I love this video. So helpful. I just started a ministry dedicated to helping families heal from trauma. Can I use this video on my website? Sincerely
During our first discussion about ACES in a graduate class, I was curious if this possibly affected epigenetic gene expression especially if it reverberates through the life span. Also could trauma imprint on our genes strong enough to transfer to offspring? I wouldn't doubt if this is possible if you're saying it definitely influences epigenetic changes in gene expression. Can you imagine the research necessary to answer that question? I would first look retroactively, and then potentially conduct a longitudinal study to capture a variety of data related to this question.
Getting into daycare is certainly not positive stress according to the studies I’ve read. I live in Sweden and I find the daycare system to be horrible!
Hey! Can anyone explain to me why adults with childhood trauma lack physical activity? I have Ace score of 7 and i don't sport and never really did, and I don't understand why and how to overcome that
Is there a blood chemistry or test that can identify someone who would need further support e.g.: cortisol? Would there by more obvious presentation (like Cushing Syndrome?) How could a doctor tell the difference between someone who is in a severe state vs someone in the middle or just "sorry for themself" (not saying I like the phrase but it's how people discuss this) and exaggerates" vs someone who is severely stressed but scared silent? If not, how can someone guage what is normal if they don't know what that is or make use of this info other than to think "there might be something wrong with me"?
I like the phrase "Something is a problem when it causes problems." Problems might be, insomnia, eating disorders, substance abuse, self harm, difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships and personal boundaries, difficulty maintaining employment, to name a few. Suffering is relative, what might be horrific for one person might be nothing to another, this doesn't invalidate how severe it is to the person experiencing it. Good luck. Focus on where you want to be and how you need to get there, there is no limit to the darkness, you will get stuck if you focus on trying to eliminate that.
how is something so important to one's development so out of that individuals control??? Sometimes I wish a near perfect/future version of me would be able to raise me so I could be capable of being a well rounded person. Idk if it's an ego thing but sometimes I think I can only truly trust myself even though that makes no sense...
It makes perfect sense to me. I think you should revisit memories (if you can without getting too upset) and imagine that near perfect/future version of you actually being with you in those moments. Imagine your future self there, protecting you from whatever is happening.
@@davidtichborne2912 Liliana, I have 10 Aces too... its been a really hard struggle. But its important not to stay in victim mode. We are powerless there. I am 45 near the end of my 2nd yr in Uni. Meditation is the key.It helps shine a light on the negative thought loop we`ve been programmed by our abusers to tell ourselves every day.We can change our thinking patterns and life for the better as a result. `You can heal your life` a book by Louise Hay really helped me.... Keep looking up... I know its hard. Life can get better, we just have to focus on what we want and keep negative people out of our lives, so we don`t get dragged down anymore and can start to look on the positive side of life. The past is over.... we are in charge of ourselves now and can re-parent ourselves.
Oh... You _may want to consider finding someone_ (LCSW or higher educated) to talk to. I have only seen 5 of what I guess to be 10 items, and I had all of them. I *already know* I am a complete fucking mess, and this was before I even learned there was something called the ACE. @Forgor - I am 42 and only learned about ACE on October 4th, 2021, but I have known my whole life up to this point has been a shit show, and I have still not seen the entire ACE thing.
I've read 4 or higher is more on the serious side. I also scored 4 and while I know I'm definitely damaged and have trauma to work through, I count my blessings that things could absolutely be worse. Not to say that that diminishes my struggles or yours or anyone who scores 4 or lower, but therapy would still be beneficial.
I wish more people understood this but it's a huge leap for most and that's understandable too. I love listening to Wayne Dyer talk about his 10+ childhood, empowering ❤ Good stuff.
God, these kids have educators wrapped around their little finger. A strong and resolved response to any stressor by the adults in the room will show children exactly how they should respond in a crisis. When the educators react in an unstable and hyperactive manner, the kids will mimic that behavior. The ideas in this video are a losing strategy for helping kids through stressful situations. You're doing more damage to the children than you are helping them.
