Afraid & Don't Want Some Changes on Transition Hormones? 

What a great great comment and I love how you broke things down as this helps so many! Thank you so much. You are absolutely right. Also, the biggest mistake I see people make is to collude with the experiences of others vs trying things out slowly and listen to themselves.

I love this comment. I'm also nonbinary. Have you noticed any changes now?

@@alexrose20 Thank you! Not big ones haha. T-zone non-cystic acne. Sweatyness. My vocal range can go a bit lower, but I've also been practicing singing and stuff.

Great comment! I think I’m Nonbinary Transfem and I feel like the “take a break from trans youtube” is a really good one. One of my biggest mistakes is to think that other people’s experiences are the same as my own, it’s something I do unconsciously and would love to know how you dealt with it

@@freval2493 Is it bad to unconsciously assume other people's experiences are like yours? So long as you are not using other people's experiences to invalidate yourself, or vice versa, I think that's fine. I have developed an online and real-life circle of trans friends, binary and nonbinary. Just chatting with them you become aware of the wide wide range of experiences. And as my one friend put it: "The reason that we transition is because it is affirming. All that matters is whether doing X or Y will feel affirming to you."

I hear you!

Same

same

Maybe one day science will allow that.

@@MidnightEkaki I was gonna say!

Yes I so hear you and I am sorry.

What is dysphoria like for a Non-Binary feeling person?

​@@Mandy-nt2csdepends on the person, just like with "binary" identities there isnt a single experience with ones body In my case i did not want to become a visibly adult man i did not want a rough skin i did not like having facial hair (still dont but takes eons to remove) i did not want to become bald and i definitely did not want the libido i had so basically i took estrogen not so much as a way of trying to make myself look conventionally feminine or like a woman (although i do occasionally present femininely) but to offset effects of puberty and reverse them and try to attain a kind of comfortable childish androgyny. Ideally i would have prefferred to not grow breasts but im dangerously underweight so they're not too large that they cause much issue to me. Im lucky in a way because my needs were attainable with conventional hrt treatment, it can be a lot more difficult depending on the needs of the person That being said, more androgynous medical procedures are also not made available. I could definitely have had a double mastectomy before taking estrogen and therefore not grown breasts, and if done at that point it wouldnt even have left a mark, but because of how society is structured this simply wasnt allowed meaning i was forced to grow breasts if i wanted all the other effects of estrogens

​@@Mandy-nt2csbasically, feels like you never thought of yourself as a girl. I would tell my extended family, my mom's cousins, that I was a boy, since I was very young. I had the attitude that I was a boy throughout my childhood. But then my boy friends started to ditch me, hanging out with each other instead in jr high. I made friends with girls because that's was was left. I could not understand why they were so excited about boys. I did not have a sensation of attraction until I fell in love with my best friend in highschool. All of a sudden, I was in love. All of the romantic feelings and sensations were intense. That started with the first kiss. It was electric. We were together for 6 years. I wanted to Come Out. She didn't. She was in fear of not having a career path. We were in the class set in the 80s. Only one of our many friends knew. He was our closest friend. I actually wanted a sex change. I had the application for dysphoria right at about age 18-9 in the 80s. But she did not want me to do that. She was Catholic and Conservative. I was very open minded vs her. We still think a lot alike in many ways. I was on the phone with her for some hours last night. She has been with her second partner since a few years after we broke up. We did want different things. I wanted land and to grow my own food. I do. My married partner who identifies as non-binary fem but not female, also had a house where she was planning to grow food with her former partner. He did not want that lifestyle and married another partner, a woman. However, there is more complexity as my partner did not know they were non-binary. There were no words for that in Australia and they didn't know any LGBTQI people. Whereas I came out to my family at 16, after my first relationship ended, I came out everywhere with everyone and met lots of as hundreds of LGBTQI people as I became an Activist for years back when I was still young. I kept checking books about trans over the decades but realized I did not want surgeries. I had bone reconstructions in the Army. I have permit neuropathy from nerve damage. I did not want nerve damage. I have lived as non-binary for decades. My first love and I both referred to ourselves as Androgenous. I actually think it sounds better. Non-binary sounds like a math term. But whatever. We both signed up for Non-Binary on our California license cards. We are officially Non-Binary. After all these years, I found out the VA has a program for supporting LGBTQI and transitional services. So, I am finally parting in gender affirming care as a Veteran client. The numbers of LGBTQI in the Military and VA is staggering really. Yet when you consider a lifestyle where you get to work and travel and meet people around the world, it fits for people who don't fit into a cookie cutter mold.

​@@Mandy-nt2csIt varies depending on the individual. Which is likely true for binary trans people as well, granted, but non-binary itself a sort of a catch-all umbrella term for everyone who falls outside of said binary. I'm non-binary myself, but in a very bigender/genderfluid sense. Meaning sometimes I want to present more masculine, sometimes more feminine, and most the time I want to present as both. As such, as an AMAB, I'd love to grow some breasts. But I also want my penis to remain fully intact and functional. Other non-binary people may feel more comfortable with a an agender-esque presentation and therefore AMABs may not want to grow breasts but would like softer skin and other such changes that come with estrogen, while AFABs may want to bind, get a mastectomy, etc. Again, there's a lot of variation. But regardless dysphoria be dysphoria: the sense that your gender presentation/how people perceived you just doesn't jive with your assigned gender at birth.

Thanks for sharing.

@Sacha Barbie Ok, but mine was never asleep

​@@TheLaughingOut so I have a question maybe you can answer to. It's not the ability to "Washington monument" so to speak I'm afraid of losing, in fact I can think of many benefits to it for me personally, but the loss of the ability to umm, receive intense moments of pleasure, is what I worry about. If you know what I mean. 😅

@@neowolf09 I only know a few trans women personally enough to inquire about their intense moments, but none of them have lost that ability and many (including myself) say that the moments get better. Nothing permanent happens suddenly though. If you start HRT and you find that something unwanted is happening, you can stop.

@@TheLaughingOut ok awesomness thats good to know. thank you very much for answering my q so quick

Thanks for sharing.

Well said!

How long does it take to know if you've gained the high risk of heart attack, stroke, blood clots, osteoporosis, early onset dementia, diabetes, other early forms of aging, autoimmune diseases ect. Is there a way to tell which you'll be predisposed to?

Thanks for sharing.

I can totally relate but kinda opposite. I will say I feel like testosterone is daunting to me, but I've also always felt the exact opposite of you about my body hair, I hated it when it came in and tried to shave it, wore shorts to school one day and some "friends" made fun of me for shaving my legs, I not only basically tried to force myself to like my body hair, which never worked, I also wore pretty much nothing but pants and a hoodie to hide me arm and leg hairs from myself, even through the hot summer in Texas. So the idea of it thinning and maybe being easier to have fully and permanently removed in the future sounds absolutely wonderful to me. As well as a lot of other stuff about estrogen. Tho I do have my small worries. But you can't have your cake and eat it too lol Just thought it was interesting to relate in an opposite way and wanted to share. Have a good one!

Discuss with your doctor to manage your dosage.

Thank you Dr ! Will do ❤

Thank you for sharing and glad my content is helpful.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you well.

Thanks for sharing. Yes I think pros/cons list is especially helpful guidance for non binary identified. Good luck.

Thanks for this, this is exactly how I'm feeling, kinda scared of breast growth because of low dysphoria and fear of regret. But I almost know it's the right path

I appreciate that!

Thanks for sharing and some fears regarding potential losses is normal.

You can be a strong woman with regular gym and indoor bouldering, I have been fit and strong and can pick people up. Just takes a bit longwe to build up. But yeah it is frustrating, I was born in a frmale body but I def wish I were male so I could be stronger! But nothing beats a strong boyfriend wrapping his arms around me and snuggling against his heart. He becomes my strength and I love being his emotional strength when he's sad and doesn't know how to cope with it... We are spirits in unique bodies here to learn, the body isn't us just as a car is not the driver. But damn boy clothes make me feel great.

Exactly the question that sealed the deal for me) currently i have a problem that I'm not sure how to deal with being 27 and look like a young kid ,i already got this treatment from the others where I'm a teenage boy and I hate it . I know for sure I don't want ever in my life to be an old woman or an androgynous looking older person, only a dude) old with a beard))) and my tattoos) but what to do now and how to be this kinda young, kinda not, gay boy with a "secret"(bottom dysphoria ) which is like number one thing among gay men - the question about your d***,i hate this position and I don't know what to do... I don't want to go back ,I'm uncomfortable being in this andro stage, cause people just downplay me to being masculine female which i hate with my core ,but the second option is terrifyng to me. Wow i think I went off just now) honestly ,it's the first time I'm saying this )

@@leroyMXII Enjoy looking like a young kid while you can. lol. You've got a long time before you need to worry about being an old whatever. Transition is a journey blah blah blah... Best of luck for you.

Very well said!

Wise words, I’m 57 so approaching my 60s and my biggest concern is coming out to spouse and family but I confess I’ve thought about this idea of do I want to be an old lady or an old man thing before more than once. Perhaps ‘old’ is to far away but the image of a gentile retired ‘lady’, traveling, gardening, enjoying life is actually very appealing. Monique xx 💋

@@moniquedupres6107 I had this same choice as well and my mind recoiled in horror at the thought of being "an old man". That is why pretty much the "end state" of my transition plan (such as it i) goal/ideal is "little ol' lady" because... it is the only one that is realistically open to me at this point. Such is the tragedy of late awareness...

Although I'm not on hormones, I feel you so hard q.q hope everything goes alrighty, and hey, if you're not convinced with hormones after a bit, it's okey to stop taking them and consider other options. GL and stay safe dear ❤️

Hey, there are surgeries for shoulders, voice pitch and resonance and adam's apple too, with femlar voice surgery Dr Thomas it is removed ''naturally", for bone structure of the face etc in order to remove what male puberty did if we did not transition prior to puberty

I don't think it's a weight gain as much as fat distribution. Like Meghan Trainor sang, Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two But I can shake it, shake it Like I'm supposed to do 'Cause I got that boom, boom That all the boys chase And all the right junk in all the right places

Weight gain will be a problem, not so much from the E but from the T-blockers sending your metabolism to the basement. You have to be VERY conscious of your calorie intake and very deliberate in your exercise routine. Tons of cardio and all lower body and core. Zero arms. Luckily dysphoria is a slave driver. Listen to her and she will be the best/worst life coach in the world.

@@obsidianjane4413 not to mention your Potassium intake. I am constantly low in Potassium.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

Your comfort matters more than theirs! And believe me, you will be surprised at who reacts well and who doesn’t. Many people are closeted themselves and being brave enough to be visible in the work place might even shift many opinions and start a lot of needed conversation. Wish you the best on your journey 💕

I've had that dream too!

That’s a very compensatory dream of your conscious anxieties. I agree with what one person said below regarding thinking of what matters to you most. I also agree that you’d be surprised how people react.

Well said and I wish you all the best.

I wish you all the best! Follow what feels right to you.

Thank you for sharing and glad to hear the content is helpful.

yeah maybe. Dont wait too long though HRT really does next too nothing past a certain age. It depends on what you want I guess.

@Stephanie, you are absolutely right about deciding what works best for you. I agree a 100%

I like how aware you are of things you want and things you do not want. There is sometimes a trade off of sorts with transition, unfortunately. As long as you are aware of pros and cons.

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry you experienced some changes you didn’t like.

Hi and thanks for sharing. Yes, higher libido is very very common on T and I wonder if your medical doctor may have a suggestion on how to lower it with some form of supplemental.

That's a valid fear. Before starting T, I already had a high libido and was also afraid of that libido increasing. But luckily for me, I didn't notice any increase of it. Then again, every body is different and I'm not asexual, but there might be a chance if you go on a low dose it won't heavily affect your libido or it's so gradual it isn't as noticeable. Anyway, good luck if you decide to start HRT!

@Sacha Barbie not all people are allosexual and thats ok so please stop invalidatg asexual people

Thank you for sharing and yes, often there are at least some minor changes we don't wont. Overall, it should be worth it, otherwise why do it.

@@DRZPHD I completely agree with you on that point!

Yes HRT doesn’t always produce expected results, sadly.

Yeah after male puberty female hormones do very little. Genuine social transition is impossible after a certain age as well.. I find it amazing how many trans women start hormones and stress about their work finding out they r on HRT. It's like naaaah no one Will notice the negligible changes u get off female hormones.

@@surfygirl9662 In short, you are saying "not trans enough". What is "genuine social transition" especially "genuine" ? Did you know when I started my social transition ? Do you know the effects or not of hormones on me ? Do you know my expectations, if any ? For information, you should know for example that my wife as most old women is also out of hormones. It's called menopause. Is it a drama ?

@Sacha Barbie Misplaced comment as ever.

@@gwendolinegoetz9224 Well I mean a transition that will have the best mental health outcome. Passing or generally being perceived as your desired gender leads to much better mental health. Its sad because rarely happens if you transition after puberty. That's why i don't think transition is a viable option to treat gender dysphoria. If you going to be miss gendered than thats not going to help gender dysphoria. Im of course talking here exclusively about people who are assigned male ,who wished too function in society as women. The window to treat gender dysphoria for these people is tiny thats all i meant. Im not sure what your wifes menopause has to do with anything though?? I was talking about the infectiveness of HRT on trans women. Taking HRT for menopause isnt even in the same ball park

Thanks for sharing and absolutely agree. The challenge is also finding endocrinologist that will explore various options. Glad to hear you found one working for you.

@@DRZPHD That is a challenge and finding a good endocrinologist is important. But it's also important that the the knowledge that this is something possible is shared, not just for the sake of the nonbinary people it'd help, but also for the sake of the endocrinologists who could get out of their limited states of mind. Instead of insisting that you can't pick or choose with hrt, it's important that all the options are shared, and the difficulty in exploring those options, instead of simply treating them as they don't exist. Non-standard medical transition can save lives for many nonbinary people and acting like non-standard transition doesn't exist when discussing the difficulties with medical transition for nonbinary people is not helping at all.

Thanks a lot for the comment. Do you know if there's a site or something where I can do some research in detail for the different types of hrt?

I suggest always checking in with your medical doctor to see how various options can work for you.

You are welcome. I am not a fan of overly affirmative care. This is a serious life altering decision and if you are ready for it, I am 100% with you.

Hi and thank you for sharing. Feminizing HRT affects everyone differently. I would suggest talking with your endocrinologist about this.

I hear you. For a non binary person HRT is a tricky due to some changes you dont want. I say its all really about exploring and giving yourself time to understand what it is you are looking for. Glad you have your appt coming up and wishing you all the best.

Yes I agree, it’s all pros and cons type of a game.

Wishing you all the best.

Yes but sadly that's not possible for many.

Yeah HRT does very little for people after puberty, well estrogen anyway. You can almost bet that not much will happen after a certain age.

@@surfygirl9662 While yeah, if you interrupt puberty, you get a "perfect" cis development and afterwards it gets harder/less effect, its still necessary and produces profound change over time. How much so depends a lot of the genetic dice. I know middle-age CDs who are completely passable with just clothes and makeup. Later in life has the advantage that old wrinkley people start to look a like anyway. ;+)

Yeah I have found that transition is no treatment for gender dysphoria if you can't pass as sis. That sails pretty early. So unless you happy not actually being read as sis than I feel like transition only causes more pain that you'll never be perceived as Female. It's like a constant reminder of what you'll never have. That's how I feel about it anyway

@@surfygirl9662 agree.. imho.. either you start at early teens like so many gorgeous Thai’s mtf tg sisters or you just don’t bother at all. I find the society and governing body too cruel to stop young teens transition because it will completely ruined their life. Not to mention the emotional pain which they are literally dead inside out.

I am a big fan of Dr. Powers.

I havent kept up with him once I found he has his own clinic. I find him to be a extremely brilliant mind when I had an appointment with him. I enjoyed asking many questions and listening to the answers. I did not, however, do my therapy through him as he was adament about intramuscular method instead of subq. I understand his reasoning, but as I am an amputee, I knew I was going to have a hard time with injections and as I lost weight I did. I went to Ruth Ellis at the time with Dr. Connoly and was able to do subq and the with another doctor, once I was of age, where I switched to gel for more easy of taking. If it made sense to, I would go back to him. But he's 1 or 3hrs away and Id have make sure my insurance is solid.

Thanks for sharing and I agree. We are often too focused on physical and not mental changes. Hormones sadly are one of those things one has to try to see what effect you will get.

I feel for you so much !!! Wish you the best of luck and extreme amount of patience. It takes courage to transition around people who remember you differently...

I am so sorry to hear and I wish you all the best.

PS I am married, and although she wasn't prepared for this, she seems to be handling it quite well she is truly my best friend and my oldest son knows.

You shouldn't worry about that. Unless you change your presentation, the physical changes from HRT are not likely to be noticed. They are more often than not negligible at best. I very much doubt HRT would out you.

Tell your employees that, in order to keep their jobs, they all have to transition: problem solved...lol. Seriously, be yourself, ok? If you are a good boss, people won't care about your gender.

Thanks! Yes do what you feels right to you!

I hear you. Pros and cons list is morning and looking at everything objectively.

@@DRZPHD thank you, ma'am

I totally hear you. You may want to discuss some options with a doctor.

I'm in the same position (even the same age)! I think what I am going to do is try HRT for one month and then stop it. I will hopefully get some insight on what it feels like to be both on and off HRT... Then I hope that my path forward will be more clear.

​@@FARSIDEOBSERVER Sounds like a reasonable idea. Good luck!

You can always take your time.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

Thats great and very important. Keep in mind, not all loose sexual function.

Its best to talk about fertility preservation options with a doctor prior to HRT to explore your best options.

I agree that perfection becomes a trap we chase.

Thanks for sharing. Belt???

Good luck to you. Breast growth may take a while and if it grows sooner, people often wear sports bra or binder.

Other people don't notice nearly as much as we do since we see/feel them and "know" what they are. So it creates a self-consciousness, that's not necessarily warranted. But even knowing this I still freak out when the girls put on the highbeams. lol. Most of my bras are a size smaller bralettes so they are act like cute binders.

Best to also discuss your options with a medical doctor.

Hi. I haven't personally seen people who have decided to transition to ease anxiety and depression unless anxiety and depression are direct by product of Gender Dysphoria. For the same reason goes HRT, not to mention it is essential to help feminize or masculine. In general, I don't think transition is a good idea unless you want to relieve symptoms of Gender Dysphoria.

@@DRZPHD Thank you for the response! Your videos are incredibly informative and very helpful with navigating this point in my life.

Hi and thanks for sharing. I would make sure you discuss all the pros and cons with your medical doctor and what your options are.

Totally hear you. It can and often is a tough decision process.

Hi. Let me offer some answers based on my experiences. 1. Mood swings are often a stereotype myth and doesn't not happen. I have addressed this in my blog: drzphd.com/transgender/nonbinary/the-4-biggest-lies-of-starting-feminizing-hrt-1 2. Breast cancer has not been adequately linked to HRT in trans women. 3. Weight gain in my experience, is mild and highly depend on lifestyle. 4. This one you gotta talk to medical doctor about.

Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing and for a video suggestion.

Being in the "ugly duckling" phase is the hardest part of transition. :+(

Yeah thats the problem. Well maybe not you for you , I dont know how old you are but for people over a certain age HRT does not femininize anywhere close to enough to actually be relevant. Its awesome though you are feeling happier on HRT. Thats the main thing.

Hi. Thanks for sharing. Estrogen effects vary in individuals and it also varies on breast size.

@@DRZPHD 💖💖

Hi. It doesn’t happen for all. Also talk to your endo about your concerns.

@@DRZPHD that's good to hear. I did bring that up during my consultation so I guess we will just see how it goes and make adjustments if needed.

Hi. It depends by what you mean "sick". Sometimes, while rare, people my have a reaction and its best to talk to your medical doctor.

Thanks for sharing. It really depends. There is nothing wrong with only HRT regiment if you feel it does take care of dysphoria. However if you are feeling dysphoria toward your body, that may require some aspects of transition.

@@DRZPHD Honestly...If I could wave a magic wand and be female without the transition in between I'd do that in a second. I'm just not entirely sure if it's feasible or if I'll ever actually look female 'enough'. I'm 6'5", for one thing. I'm sort of unsure how far I want to take the transition. I appreciate your videos and your response, this has helped me a lot. I guess now I'm just wondering if when I transition, I'll experience dysphoria from the other end, and I really don't know. It's just not as clear cut as I'd like.

Maybe faster, but HRT just expresses what your momma gave you. You might be able to save some money though. Development and growth of any kind requires some T, my girls didn't take off until I couldn't take T-blockers for a week. Which... was not on the plan. If you are already in a good range you might not need to take them. The Endo will make that call.

It all depends on numerous factors such as age, health, and how your body metabolizes hormones. There is no way of knowing without trying and always best to discuss with your medical doctor.

Nah they can drop your T down fast with meds, It comes down too genetics but most importantly age. I wouldn't expect much out of HRT past 25 even than its rough. HRT is really only effective for social transition... being perceived as female, if you dont go through male puberty to be honest. Depends what you want from HRT

@@surfygirl9662 geez thanks so according to you since I’m over 25 I have to live in the wrong body for the rest of my life.

@@jessieoskins3389It depends on what you want from transition, if you want to pass and be generally perceived as female, most likely HRT will be very ineffective.. I say most likely because you may be incredibly generically lucky, in most cases though male puberty is the killer. There have been serval clinical trails reporting how ineffective HRT is on trans women who have unfortunately gone through male puberty. HRT in most cases cant make changes that are anything more than negligible. The physical effects of testosterone cant be undone. HRT may potentially improve your mental health and decrease dysphoria, plus you can probably take and not having the stress of coming out, people wont notice you are on are HRT unless you declare it. That in it self is worth considering taking HRT. I just feel that to successfully treat gender dysphoria properly and be happy in your desired gender its important to be seen and viewed in that role by society, passing is important when trying to treat gender dysphoria, its no fun presenting as female and watching people do mental gymnastics.. to try and remember the correct pronoun, thats people are nice enough.... some wont be. Unfortunately once you have through male puberty, the ship has well truly sailed, taking female hormones wont help with that . I am sorry you feel like you are stuck in the wrong body, I get it. I just think that lots of trans people think HRT is a magic fix. Unless you are super young, for 99% if trans women HRT just does not work when using it for meaningful physical changes. I would recommend you find a phycologist who you are super comfortable talking too. Talk therapy can be very helpful

This is a great question to a medical doc. Sorry, not a medical doctor, Doctor of Philosophy.

Thanks for sharing and there are many hairy people out there. Nothing wrong with that.

Lol

Thanks for sharing.

Fertility preservation is very important if you plan on future family. Hope you can find solution that works for you.

Planned parenthood has trans care and so are other clinics.

Sorry to hear that. The variability of changes you get on HRT is one of the biggest struggles I see in non binary community.

Well...I hope you like my look if that's what your aesthetic is.

@@DRZPHD I definitely do

Thanks for sharing.

Wish you all the best.

Sorry

@@DRZPHD for? Dont be lol im good currently :p i guess my point is everyone is different and depending on breast size pre hormones you could range from small growth to big natural breasts

Yes they work at all ages but differently and largely depends on 1) how your body metabolizes it and 2) how much secondary sex characteristics have formed/shaped up

Thanks for sharing. Leather couch is not mandatory.

Hi. Very common question. I am not.

I apologize if I offended you That was not my intention Best wishes

@@elizabethconroy7665 Not offended at all! A good question to ask.

So sorry to hear.

TIL dr Z doesn't read Russian.

@@M-CH_ she does. That why comment is encrypted.

Samantha Lux talked about her sexual drive being very low but that was bc she needed a different dose of estrogen. Libido might go down or up but nothing too drastic. Check with your doctor otherwise!

@kingdomkreep in my experience weight gain tends to be minimal in most people and if you are concerned about libido always best to talk o medical doctor.