Well the fiance's dad stayed with his wife throughout her cancer, while the brides mum cheated on her husband (brides dad). And now she also asked her daughter to call off the wedding with her fiance. Sorry but the mum here is clearly the problem..
So this Mom wants her daughter to end her 5 year relationship and cancel the wedding she’s been planning for over a year now so that she can keep her 3 month fling. No way! That’s so unfair!
@@Lillyluckycrow I believe as long as they’re not genetically related they’re allowed too plus all you need to do is go a different state to get married if not.
@@Lillyluckycrow states only have laws against blood related family marrying like 1st and 2nd cousins and of course blood related siblings. Edit* only Virginia has a law against step sibling marrying
She is a classic narcissist. Why would you keep a secret relationship with your daughter with her fiancé father then marry him and telling her not to marry the fiancé when they meet first. She is just so cold.
No, it worst. The mother & father didn't start dating until after the 1st meeting. After 3 months of dating (in secret) they eloped. So the mother basically rushed to get married and then wanted her daughter to call of her wedding. Even though she had been with her fiancce for 5yrs. That mother is very narcissistic & selfish.
The mother isn't her mother and neither is his father their father in any sense of the word. Zero contact at all with both of them and take the daughters bio dads last name
Exactly they didnt grow up together so who cares..even if their parents got together and married first, if they were adults when it happend there would still be no issue with them having a relationship because they still wouldnt be siblings in any sense of the word they arent bound by blood and they werent raised together. I dont even think adults consider other adult children of a step parent to be step siblings..like those are just your step parents kids at that point...hell if my mom got remarried that wouldnt even be my step dad it would just be my moms husband because Im grown and he never played a fatherly role in my life. Titles like mother, father, and siblings are either inherited by blood or they are earned by bond they arent handed out just because of legalities.
@@vianjelos My mom's husband is exactly what I call him too. He's a good man. But me being over 30 when they married, he never got to be a stepdad to me, lol.
Just saw an update: they are going to get married still. FIL doesn’t care if they get married, only Mom of OP cared (FIL is still an AH but not as bad as OP’s mom.)
She’s canceling her daughter’s wedding with someone she’s been with over 5 years while she has been dating a man for 3 months that she apparently NEEDS to get married to so she “doesn’t die alone”
@@tealablu3759 Tearing is too good. Now, I am not an arsonist but if destroying that certificate crossed my mind and was something I wanted to do... I would shred it and then burn it, filming it for my other half to see, if he is not already there. What they did was beyond wrong and OP stated that she is 12 weeks pregnant, the early stages where miscarriage is still a huge fear, so they understandably didn't want to tell anyone. That shows that even if her Mum (British here, sorry) and her FIL were wanting to date and thought 'oh its fine we dont have grandchildren yet' and then married, it shows that anything can be possible. Imagine how OP's poor child would feel when they grow up if they keep any contact with Mum and FIL (And if they stayed married) let alone the damage it has caused OP and her DH.
The parents wouldn’t have met if it weren’t of the children dating and now wanting to marry. Both banned from the wedding immediately. Like gurl you only dated for 3 months and eloped. The mother cannot talk
Sounds like the mom was actually trying to sabotage her daughter's plans. Likely she's an undiagnosed narcissist. The mom probably only cares about her own happiness and this 100% has to do with her being jealous of her own daughter. Freud is rolling in his grave.
100% you hit the nail right on the head. She was jealous her daughter was getting married and starting her life, while she was a lonely miserable old B*. She just had to try to ruin it all. I doubt they're even that "in love" she just wanted to ruin it for her daughter and get a little male attention. Karma will get her ass and I wouldn't be surprised if FIL drops her miserable ass (which would be oh so sweet). I guarantee she pushed him into it too.
So the daughter is supposed to throw away her 5 year relationship for the mom’s 3 month relationship that will probably end before the year is over?! Definitely cut off that mom. No need for that toxic relationship in her life.
Is no one talking about the fact the dad did this to her fiancé too?? Like it’s not just the mom, it’s also the fiancé’s dad; it’s so unfortunate that this is happening to both of them.
They brought it up in the beginning, but the whole post is about the daughter and her mom so I think that’s why they only kind of touched on that point.
I'm not trying to excuse the father of the fiancé because he should also know better, but I wonder how lonely he's been since losing his wife, and I wonder if the mother kinda took advantage of that.
@@katelyncapistrano7726 100%. She seems like the devil so I’m sure she found out everything about his late wife and became that. And now she’s going to destroy his life
Yah, it takes 2 to tango but someone has to lead. That being said out of all the people in the world you pick the one person it wouldn’t be okay to marry? 😂 tbh I think he’s still an asshole, but only like .05% less than the mother. Lol
Oh she definitely did I'm getting major jealousy vibes she wanted what her daughter had so she manipulated that man and tried to ruin her daughters happiness I'd be disinviting her from the wedding / my life and making what she did VERY KNOWN
Where I live, they legally couldn’t get married now because they are classified as step siblings. It was one of the things that we had to swear when we got our marriage license.
That would make it so much worse! The mom is horrible. If that happend where you lived, the only way would be to cut contact and move somewhere else where there isnt a rule like that. I would be furious. Even if they still can get married.
Really ? What state or country ? I've read most states say only blood related family cant marry but step siblings are not beholden to that Edit* after looking for a little found only Virginia has a law against step sibling marrying
@@MrHooters123 yeah, no US state has laws against STEP siblings getting married. Only full or half siblings because there’s shared blood. Most states don’t even outlaw cousins getting married ffs 🤦🏼♀️😂
Her mom literally could have just dated the fiancé’s dad, like why go to the extreme lengths of eloping. I think it wouldn’t be so bad if they asked them how they felt about them dating and just decided to be together, move in etc That’s honestly so effed up
The other comments are right, the mom did this knowing exactly how much it can hurt the daughter and that may have been the point to begin with, everything thing has to be about her in some form, that's a typical narccist,
How do you look at your daughter’s love life and just actively choose to steal her happiness on a whim for yourself. “Only one of us can be happy and it isn’t you. Throw away your future because I want this”
I don’t think there’s a legal way, but I’d personally use a completely different last name from either of them, and move. Change emails change phone numbers, send their emails to spam, block their phone numbers block them on social media and for the sake of all that’s holy CHANGE THEIR WILLS and LAST WISHES so the parents have ZERO say in their final wishes should their spouses die before theme. If they are adults, there isn’t a legal recourse of saying “You are now legally not my parent” unless they sign away parental rights and someone else adopts you. You can morally say “I no longer consider you my parent/sibling/family.” And cut contact. There is no legal recourse to take aside from taking them off legal documents such as wills and powers of attorney
The issue here is they kept it secret. They are adults so they can date without anyone's approval. So because they kept it secret and got married. I'd do some uninviting real quick. Lot of nerve telling them to end their relationship as well. Wonder what the dads side of the story is. In part dude is a widower and my have latched on to anything. Not off the hook entirely but small leeway.
They say in the mini-update that the Mom was the one who told them they had to break up because of their marriage, the dad was fine with it. But honestly I think he’s equally guilty. Like bro who the duck doesn’t tell your kid no matter how old they are that they’re seeing someone new ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS YOUR KIDS FIANCEE’S MOTHER
Agreed. The FIL was probably a lifelong partner to his late wife, and a romantic... her mom is a grade-A narcissist and more than likely have a ton of issues and an abuser (not physical) and took advantage of his loneliness. She more than likely will use this girl’s FIL to reap whatever she can get till she is finds a new sucker again.
Honestly, who cares they are now married. I mean it’s not like they have grown up “Step brother/sister.” They have been in a committed relationship for over 5 years. Her mom is ridiculous for telling her to call off the wedding. But marriage won’t last if they see it as “step.” But hey, less traveling for holidays lol. Mom sounds toxic AF.
Agreed. She needs some therapy ASAP. Also the groom’s father is also involved in this and I wonder what made him fall for this woman. 5 year relationship trumps the 3 months even though they got married.
I found the original post - the only additions say that they still got married, apparently the fiancé’s dad had no issue with them getting married, and the fiancé wanted no more contact with either parent but she wasn’t sure because her mom raised her. She ended up saying she’ll go low/no contact with her mom but no updates after that 🤷🏻♀️
Oh my God…. My mother is a 3!tch!!!!!!!!! But this woman’s mother takes the cake…. I at least don’t have a relationship with my mother, and can live my life. But this poor woman is stuck with her because of her fiancé’s dad. That’s horrible…. And no. You’re not the asshole. Your mother is. Lots of love and prayers to you girl. This is horrible.
I think it’s also important to say the father of the groom played a part in this too! I can’t believe 2 adults decided to go through with this decision and burden their children
My mom pulled that shit twice. I had been in long relationships that were serious and she seriously would pick a random guy, date them for under a year, plan a huge wedding before mine. She bailed on me to go to my dress fittings and I had to have my MIL step in because I had a custom made corset back gown that had to be done up a specific way. Two weeks before my wedding and my mom expected me to move it around her schedule when I had wedding stuff every single day by appointments. She then tried to ruin my rehearsal dinner by only talking about my sister (who wants invited). Then, she shows up over an hour late on my wedding, drunk, smelling of whiskey, picking fights with my in laws and bridesmaids, she wrecked the whole pre-wedding schedule because the girls were supposed to do pictures first. As we are all getting ready, I can see my mother getting into my husband's truck, where the grooms men had their stuff, and is drinking their whiskey. Called the grooms men for them to start handling the situation. Had to have an additional meeting with all of the event staff and make it clear that she was like any other guest and didn't pay for a dime and to throw her out if she does any more I had to go to the restroom before doing photos because It was my last chance before the ceremony. Me and my maid of honor are juggling my ball gown dress with a court train and trying to untangling it from the bottom net and my mom comes in the bathroom and starts screaming at me about how's she's my mother and is entitled to helping me get ready, doing photos ect. I told her she blew me off when I was counting on her, showed up with her husband's kids (not a kid friendly wedding and she was told not to bring them, keep in mind this is the husband she had barely even been with for a year by my wedding) and she didn't pay for shit and is a guest. I told her to sit down shut up and behave, they're already getting a free meal on us when they did nothing to contribute to our wedding while my husband and I saved their wedding. She grabbed me, bent my wrist backwards and said I can't talk to her like that. I told her to leave go of me, three times. Then, I punched her in the face. My entire set of in laws heard everything. My grandma in law ended up being in the bathroom at the same time all of this happened. I was mortified. I had to go back upstairs to try to save what was left of my hair and makeup before my ceremony. I later learned that after she got kicked out of the event barn successfully, she decided to try to attack my husband who was outside with the groomsmen and our horses, who were in the wedding. I never got the pictures I wanted with my bridesmaids. It has completely divided my family, with most of my mother's family choosing my side knowing she had been abusive towards me off and on my whole life. But, lost a lot of people I thought of like family because they thought it was my responsibility to make things right no matter what. We had a beautiful wedding after she left, but it ruined a lot of the dream wedding we wanted and had spent so much money and time planning. We, also, had the best man start cheating with another groomsmen's live-in girlfriend of three years at our wedding. That divided up my husband's side of the family. And alienated us. We were upset because our wedding photographer had caught them together several times. We found out through our wedding pictures. My husband and I are still married, 2 years now, and expecting out first baby. The family dynamics never recovered from it. One day, we plan to have a vow renewal with just us and our children.
@@Athasin well, she could've just dated that man but she decided to elope after like 2-3 months. I feel like, she might've thought she finally found a way to stop that and be happy herself. Like, double selfishness
I'd be fine with the two unmarried parents finding love with each other, but AFTER the original marriage...... Then I got to the part where mom says to cancel their wedding?! NO WAY! Was it all a ploy to break them up or something?
if they eloped that might help with the step siblings thing because in court they could be declared not siblings im sure if there state doesnt allow step marriages
The weddings should go on since she had already been dating for 5 years and has been planning a wedding for a year and got pregnant and way before the selfish parents got married
This is crazy, how can a mother do this to her daughter! This is crazy. Now if she has kids they won’t have a grandmother. Everyone should be able to have a grandparent. The story’s they can tell and some old skills they know, Disgusting
I would disown my own mother, honestly. Honestly I would probably actually physically fight my mother cause I’m petty like that and this would no longer make her my mom, she’s just the evil step mom now.
Me and my husband have been together 6yrs and my mom is now dating my husbands dad AKA my FIL and they’ve been together for over a year. We hate it, but told them they better not get married cause that’s too far. Oh, and they moved right behind us also. 😅
The fact her mother has the nerve to tell her not to continue with the wedding .. her daughter was the one to even introduce them in the first place .. Its sad because her daughter really did find a good person to love, and she's selfish enough to not consider that she already married, already lived her love life, and not let her daughter live her love life :( that's so so sad And technically, the daughter is pregnant and they were kind of already a family, just without the law/documents. So the mum and the dad is in the wrong .. they're in-laws.
Am I the only one who wouldn’t care? Like, is it strange? Hell yeah. But I wouldn’t sit there and be like “you need to end things” or “she needs to end things”. Like again, it’s strange. But if y’all aren’t related, and it’s actual love and not some impulsive bs, then go for it. Idk. I wouldn’t care lol.
@@anasalazar5179 no totally agree there. The mom is in the wrong 100% for even thinking her relationship takes precedence lol. I’m just saying like they’re two separate relationships.
Yea maybe you won’t care but if they can’t get married legally now because they are legally siblings maybe they would care about not getting a marriage certificate
It’s so weird that they kept it a secret and eloped, like she and her fiancé didn’t grow up in a house together. There is no reason for them to cancel their wedding. This stuff happens more than you think. If the parents had just been open and honest about it, instead of blindsiding them. The way they went about it makes me think that the mom wants to sabotage the wedding.
There was a dateline episode where a woman married her daughters fiancé’s dad. He ended up being responsible for murdering the woman and potentially the fiancé’s mother as well who had “disappeared” years ago.
But that's different cause the kids were literally getting married, and it's not like the mum told her kid they couldn't get married cause now they're step siblings and it's gross. It also (I'm guessing) wasn't kept secret
I used the statement, “I didn’t choose to be born.” in response to my mother telling me that I was a mistake. So, I think the statement could be used as an understandable argument, but I agree that it’s not a way to get out of personal responsibilities. Also, if she is asking if she’s in the wrong, it sounds like she’s dealt with emotional abuse. 😢
I love your Hot Takes and don't often get affected by them... BUT this one has my blood boiling 😡 I would absolutely disown that "mother", choose a different last name and go on with my life because this is pathetic
If you’re over 18 when your parent get married to someone else with kids that are ALSO over 18, they’re NOT your step siblings that count in my opinion. If there comes children after, yes.
It's kinda sad that the OP had to post this shitty story to confirm that she was in the right. Kinda shows how long she'd had to deal with her mother being like that and gaslighting her.
So when the mom married the future fil I was like, okay, this is awkward but manageable. Because honestly it probably wont last *shrugs* but when the mother told her she could no longer marry her fiance, WTF?! It also makes me wonder if the mom hated the fiance and thought that this would be the perfect way to break them up. Idk. But yeah I'd still marry him and just stop talking to my mom XD
I just don’t understand why the mom and dad had to go and get married. I mean just “date” the rest of your lives or until mom decides to cheat again. Why make it weird for everyone and on so many levels by getting married? Besides what’s even the point of marriage at that stage of your life?
That’s so silly and performative imo. The only problem here is the mom kept it a secret and tried to convince the daughter not to get married. There is no reason both couples can’t marry. It’s unusual but there’s really nothing wrong about it. They all met as adults.
I can just see the mother trying to seduce ops fiance/husband after she finds outs ops pregnant. The mother doesn't seem to want her daughter to have any happiness.
If this was my mom I would disown her, (can you disown a parent?) if not, then cut all contact with her and also, ruin her marriage. Its mean but she started it.
So step siblings is an entire fetish, but they're not related so I don't think I find anything wrong if they got married and were step siblings. Not all siblings grow up together. But that's my my opinion.
@@MiniMeags yep. I really dont see the issues with dating a stepsibling if you guys met before hand of becoming step siblings. I mean it comes down to you didn't grow up together with it reinforced you're siblings and two you aren't remotely related.
It sounds like her mom is jealous of her daughter being happier than she is. I still marry her fiance. And cut off contract with her mom and possibly his father. And goes for the baby too. I give her mom a couple of years tops before she blows up this new relationship.
Tbh I don't think I would have an issue if my mother and FIL became a couple AFTER I got married I mean it would be weird but they were going to be parents of the couple already it would still be weird though just not unforgivable like this situation is.
I can't believe there is another family similar to mine! My dad took my step mom's viginity when they were teens, the next morning he ignored her and so she started dating my dad's older brother. At church camp, while technically still dating my step mom - my step mom's mom slept with my uncle and that's how they started dating. They ended up getting married. My dad had an affair with my step mom when married to my mom and after the divorce was finalized my dad married my step mom. So my step mom is also my cousin-in-law 😅
I'd marry the fiancé and tell the mom to p#$@ off and say that she choose to be single when she cheated, you are not the a$$hole for marrying him, also it is legal to marry a stepsibling and it's only weird if she marries the father before you marry the son 😉
The thing is, is that the mom isn’t just totally being selfish, she’s also being immature. It’s not marry the fiancé’s dad or she’s going to die alone, there’s 7 billion + people in the world. It takes a level of maturity to meet the fiancé’s dad and be like “okay, not this one”. I’ve had grandparents divorce and they ended up finding someone new. It’s never too late, she need to grow up.
You can tell there’s a pattern with this woman, she just emotionally hurts the people she’s supposed to care about the most, then acts like a victim. You can tell by this that being a woman and feed her desires is more important to her than being a mother.
I think the daughter should have her bio dad and her stepmother legally adopt her. Because if they legally adopt her bio mom‘s name will be taken off birth certificate and stepmother‘s name will be put on birth certificate. So technically her bio mom gone. And she can still get married. Legally. And diss own the bio mom..
Both of them would be uninvited and both would be completely disowned. Heck I'd be wanting to change both of our last names so there was no connection between us and the horrible parents.
I had this convo wit a mate a few weeks ago...I live in the UK so the laws may be different to those in the US. My mates a lawyer and told me that: If you are engaged to be married to your partner but your parents decide to marry before you, you are not allowed as you are now step B/S. However, if you marry before the parents do, the parents are still allowed too and everything's cool. So if this is the case, the parents could've waited and everything would be 'legal'! Moral, not too sure on that one? I believe thats the way they explained it to me, if I'm mistaken in any of this, I do apologise. But if thats true, this is the most backwards law! And no, she is not the asshole in this story. Absolutely mental!
I don’t care what my happens in my life, I would never ever do this to my kids. This is classic narcissistic behaviors! I would absolutely cut them off!
