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She’s 100% NOT the asshole. Not only has the guy expressed discomfort multiple times and if the roles were reversed the guy would be rightfully exiled out the friendship group, so why not do the same to her? Her behaviour is just as creep and predatory if dude was to-do that. If the uncomfortable person thanks you for showing solitary with them, that’s more important than the majority who seems to like this behaviour when it’s not at their own expense
The friends who say she shouldn't have called her out, really wanted to see how far she would go on embarrassing herself. She's annoying, she needs to calm all the way down. The fact that Bran thanked the friend for speaking up is the only thing that matters here💀
Sometimes a message doesn’t stick unless theres embarrassed. Op already has had conversations with her this friend was clearly overstepping boundaries with their friend. The guy himself said thank you so clearly it was needed
I would not have handled that situation as well. I once had a girl in band (high-school)walk up to me and tell me how my corsets bringing attention to my chest (I had a large bust) made her fell insecure. She wasn't flat but even if she was its not like she wasn't extremely pretty and dressed nice too. So I said "okay, how's that my problem?" I got called an a-hole even on reddit because that was rude to say and I get it but I genuinely wanted to know what she wanted me to say in that moment. "Im sorry I'll wear a baggy hoodie only from now on?" I still don't understand what I should have said. 🤣
I agree with you I also have a big chest and if someone said that too me I would be like “I can’t control it” because sometimes having a big chest makes you insecure
Yes people should have discretion for others, but those people shouldn’t expect everyone to bend to their needs. She is insecure, great go see a therapist instead of telling everyone else around you to hide their bodies because you’re afraid of yours.
lmao NTA!!! Rose definitely needed to be called out, I agree the other guys were only pissed because they wanted a show. True friends hold each other accountable for their shit. The fact that Bran's girlfriend didn't make a scene blows my mind. The moment a girl "friend" of my boyfriend says this kind of stuff, I'm going to think they did something and she is "marking Territory" if my bf doesn't say anything back. Rose is just stirring something ugly up and needs to be checked. Checked by her friend, bran, brans gf.. all of them just roast her on the spot.
She could’ve been still assessing the situation, uncomfortable since she didn’t know anyone and it was a group of friends and all. At the end of the day I think it’s up to the friends to keep each other accountable, if no one did I’d have to re-evaluate if staying in that relationship is worth the future stress, because if no one said anything then it would probably only get worse, shows problems with boundaries, I’m not gonna lose hair trying to change them 🤷🏻♀️
That was my thought too, that possibly the friends felt she was an a hole because Bran was supposed to say something but if the genders were reversed and a guy stood up for a girl it would be considered a good thing. And he’d be praised. And I feel like this girl should be praised. I think she was looking out on for her friend for years by calling her on her stuff and also looking out for Bran
I think in all reality that rose actually liked bran at one point but just never acted on it properly instead she wanted to be a flirt and act like she didn’t want to be nothing more than friends. OP is NTA sometimes people need to be direct in order for points to get across. Rose needed a reality check and should be held accountable for how she treated brans girlfriend. To the friends who are siding with rose are absolutely only interested in what was rose was providing and good on OP for standing up to someone she cares about, she did it to prove her point about invalidating others feelings.
One of my male best friends got a girlfriend and she’s awesome. Our friendship did change a little bit but the only thing that really changed is that when I hang with him. She is always included which isn’t a bad thing bc her and I get along as well. Sometimes him and I would hang by ourselves but she is always invited to join us. Sometimes she’s busy or she is out of town but at the end of the day I wouldn’t change it bc they’re cute together and I’m glad he is happy.
Tbf I have been called out in a similar way by friends. Only way you learn to grow and change, is when your friends are honest enough to tell you the truth especially when it comes to your own negative behaviour.
Part of me thinks that the other guys in the group either have flirted with her or more has occurred as to why they are defending her. I know many male friends who would stand up for their guy friend who feels awkward or uncomfortable if a female acted like that. Op is not the a-h because she genuinely stood up for the guy that has his boundaries constantly crossed
I don't agree that the dynamics of the friendship have to change when he gets a gf. Personally, if a guy I'm dating isn't able to have a 100% platonic relationship with women (including women who are attractive), I assume he's a misogynist. If you can't see women as anything other than potential fuck-buddies or romantic partners, you're not seeing us as people worth knowing or understanding outside of that context. I also think that platonic relationships are just as valuable and important as romantic ones and you should be able to balance and equally value both.
@@graceanderson7933 romantic relationships come and go far more often than friendships, buddy. If you’ve never had a close friend I truly feel bad for you.
@@graceanderson7933 unlike you, I don’t see my friends as placeholders to keep around until I find a relationship. They’re as close to me as family. It sounds like you’re a horrible friend to be completely honest.
My ex of a month and 4 days (💀) had started saying inappropriate shit like "ohh imma eat u out mari" to his "best friend" who he knew HAD A BOYFRIEND and when I set boundaries and told him to stop he said he would but he didn't 👏
I try to be a really nice and kind person. But I honestly believe there are some people that just need to be humiliated in order for them to realise how not okay their behaviour is. Rose is one of those people.
Part of me wonders if the "pick me girl" is someone who saw waaaaay too many best friends 2 lovers movies and took it way too serious, like it would happen in real life to them if they behaved like the characters in the movies did. Which is insane those movies should be taken as entertainment and not a guide of how to manipulate your friend into dating you by scaring away his girlfriends by being inappropiate clingy and weird The pick me girl is a trend that needs to die, women should help eachother and build eachother up, not tear one another apart for a man😮💨🙁
I wish someone would've called out the girl I had an issue like this with. The pick me girls can be seriously indicative of a problem that may form later if not addressed early.
OP would probably be a bad friend for not calling her out. She was embarrassing herself and making the guy uncomfortable. If my friend kept coming onto a guy that strong and he clearly wasn't into it I would have to say something too.
Im with brunette on the right 😂 i too think im a little too crazy for this. I would probably go off on her too, that behavior is so disgusting. I would hate to be in that horribly uncomfortable position as bran or the new gf.
Around the 12:00 and 13:00 mark when they were talking about coming into a established friend group, i had that exact same scenario with them, they’ve known each other for 8 years precisely, and you know the first impression i got from his “girl” friend? He was stressed and sat on the couch where we were, and his leg started twitching, his girl bestie found it irritating but instead of telling him or asking him to stop, she decided to TRY TO SIT ON HIS LAP. And that was my FIRST IMPRESSION of her. I have way more scenarios in why their friendship was/is weird, but that girl never said sorry when i voiced my concerns about them both, she only told me reasons and that i just had to accept them and deal with it. When she couldnt accept my boundaries and what i find okay, cause if you’re so platonic, why even do the crap she did? Edit: she also told me alot of times she knows him so well, and can easily do the stuff he finds irritating when i do it and bla bla bla, like its an accomplishment from her and not her getting the consequences or boundaries she desperately actually needs with him, but hey he’s my ex now for reason like this( not only bcuz of his bestie) but he has no backbone against her, he cant confront her for some reason, but he could with me, and that also just didnt sit right with me.
YES , the dynamics of a friendship does change when a person gets a spouse or partner. Especially in male-female relationships. It only works if you have boundaries and respect their relationship. Things have to change. That's the right thing to do. My bestie is a guy but we have comfortable boundaries. We are both married and we never make our spouses uncomfortable. It's super easy honestly.
i clicked on the video being like “wow i met pick me girls this would be great” and then her name is rose and idk if it’s a sign to watch it cuz i’ve met so many people like this or that i should change my ways
I disagree i dont think its on him only. When made u comfortable I as a woman would be veeery uncomfortable callibg them out in front of people. Especially if ive told them to nock it off before. Having someone elses support would be cruicial for me
A lot of my guy friends are my big brothers and I loveee their girlfriends usually and I get you I would hate for them to feel threatened by me im like nooo i got your back im your sis in law - on the flip side I think it’s completely fair for someone to not wanna date someone with an extremely close friend etc it’s all personal preference as long as everyone is open and communicating well
NTA, and Rose is only acting this way because she is into him and is fooling herself into thinking that one day they'll get out of the friendzone, but she's literally been friendzoned and she won't be getting out especially if this guy is trying to seek out relationships with other women and is getting annoyed that she's being this way in front of the women he's trying to date.
Oh ive never been like this and most my friends are men. But i do tell them when a gf is being skechy or toxic. In a normal way. As i expect them to give me input in people im dating.
I feel bad sometimes when my friends have relationships and they drop the friend group. I understood what the brunette woman was saying. I don’t think the blonde woman did though. Ofc, Who wouldn’t be happy for their friend having a relationship. It’s the fact that they just drop you like that is what’s saddening.
If you’re making advances on someone who has told you they don’t like when you do that, that is your first and last opportunity to knock it off before you get checked and put in your place.
Op is 100% the asshole. She is making it seem like her best friend never liked Bran until he got a gf. But in reality it is 100% possible she liked him the entire time and just knew he didn't feel the same way about her. Especially considering you say she's always made bran uncomfortable I'm assuming you mean with flirting. That's just a weird way to phrase something if this person is your best friend. If this were me I would say something like I have long suspected my friend has hidden feelings for my other friend she has never confirmed this with me but as I'm dating his friend I can understand why She may have withheld this from me as she didn't want it to get around the friend group. The other option is she might just be feeling lonely because she's the only person in the group without a partner now which is probably difficult for her. She likes being the center of attention and she's the only person who doesn't have a guy paying attention to her now. Is that a good quality in somebody? no but she's your best friend which to me would make me think that you have always accepted this about her and loved her anyway. All of a sudden that changes because she jokes about unbuttoning her shirt? I can understand if this was a one off how everyone will be uncomfortable but as you said she always makes Bran feel uncomfortable with jokes like this so your guy friends are seemingly used to this and don't see this being any different. Obviously it's nice that you are trying to look out for bran's new girlfriend but you stated already that she has been friends with Bran for a long time and has probably heard all about how your friend makes him uncomfortable and how he isn't interested in her. So your priority should just be making the gf comfortable by being nice to her and then talking to your friend about how she's feeling and making sure that she doesn't feel left out. because you're all coupled up now and you actually got the guy you wanted in that group. We all have that one messy friend that we love despite their messy qualities. Usually they're messy because they are sad or they've had a rough time in life. Where is your empathy for your friend right now in this? Go out on a girl's night and apologize to her for getting upset and trying to figure out if she actually has feelings for Bran or if she's just feeling left out. Convince her that moving on is the best thing to do right now and if she's interested in finding a relationship herself help her do so and support her in that. If she doesn't want a relationship and she's just upset about losing her friendship with bran or just about the group dynamics changing in general. Either way she clearly has some underlying concerns that are not being addressed by Op. We all have messy moments I hope my best friends treat me better during mine. And I don't think all of these guys wanted a free strip show I think they all have girlfriends as far as op has said and they were probably just embarrassed by op making the situation uncomfortable. We don't know if drinks were involved we don't know what else was involved they're 21 they're probably partying together. To me it sounds like Op overreacted because she didn't want her friend taking her shirt off in front of her boyfriend. I think the rest is just cover because apparently your best friend makes bran uncomfortable all the time and you've never had a problem with it up until now and she's still your best friend. So riddle me that
1st, Rose literally start making Bran uncomfortable and getting annoyed by her (She should've taken the hint and stopped) 2nd, he got a girlfriend (The girl he is closest friend with and now became as partners) Rose should back off instead of making teasing comments to Bran and telling the girlfriend to back off from Bran. 3rd, her unbuttoning her shirt is uncalled for, she did it INTENTIONALLY. 4th, Bran's friends are also the assholes (ain't sure if they were the same guys at the beginning but if they were, those fuckers got gfs too) like why the fuck do they care about getting a strip tease than to care about their pal's discomfort? 5th, OP did the right thing, Rose and his 'friends' are assholes by calling OP an asshole. You're also an asshole just for defending Rose. Because you keep saying that girl bestie's always have their backs on each other, sure. But if my friend did those actions in front of someone, teasing the ones they like and telling their girlfriends/boyfriends to back off, I'll call them out too. No friend of mine should be going too far and be that entitled. Tell me you have friends without telling me you have friends. Because I think you need to improve yourself on understanding about defending a friend and calling out a friend. What Rose did is utterly disrespectful.
Bro she did the right thing, she told her friend countless times before in private and she didnt listen. And now shes being passive aggressive to his new gf, who he has apparently been friends with for a while, so its not like shes some new girl coming in. Even if she was you dont flirt with guys who a) arent into you and have expressed it b) guys who are in relationships, especially not in front of their gf. Op didnt make the situation uncomfortable her friend did by flirting with her friend in front of his gf. Shes told her before bran is uncomfortable the friend just didnt care.
