'AITA for Supporting My Daughter Who is Marrying Her Sister's Ex-Fiancé -- Reddit Reactions 

The sister doesn’t want forgiveness she wants people to validate her behaviour because she knows what she did was wrong but doesn’t want to face the consequence

if anything this story shows the mother was favoriting one daughter, while neglecting the other one's thoughts and feelings... Just sad.

The mother doesn’t judge Haileys actions, but she judges Jennifer “jumping through relationships”

Can we stop this idea of having to “let go” in order to move on and forgive someone?? News flash that shit never works!! Cut them out of your life and be done with it.

The dad is my hero

The mothers blatant favouritism is validating Haley's decision to wreck her sisters relationship

So the mom just expects jennifer to go to christmas dinner and watch the love of her life love on her sister? no wonder why she doesn't want to come around the mother.

I wonder what Sam parents think about this? Because if my son would pull this crap best believe I won't be apart of any of it.

If I was the mother not only would I NOT go to the wedding but I’d take the youngest sister off the Will for doing that to her sister

Hailey obviously got her toxic traits from her mum

I say let Sam ruin Hailey's life and film it and give it to Jennifer lmfao

Why does it feel like the mom wants the older and betrayed sister to give in and forgive but also spare the little sister from facing the consequences of her actions? If the family is falling apart it is due to the actions of the sister and she needs to acknowledge and focus on that. The reason the older sister is also not able to move forward is mainly because you are blaming her for feeling hurt and not allowing her to feel it. Just a thought.

Imagine the day of the wedding: your daughter's ex fiance is marrying his mistress (within a year) and the mom feels the mistress needs her support??? You're choosing sides

Jennifer is probably also jumping from relationship to relationship because how the HELL would you be able to trust anyone after that level of betrayal???

My dad married his brothers ex-girlfriend. My uncle wasn’t even invited to the wedding.. 12 years later it ended in a bad divorce. Karma

Dad: I won’t be walking you down the aisle Hailey: 👁👄👁 are these the consequences of my actions?

If my mom blamed me for jumping from relationship to relationship, I'd tell her "at least I didn't go after my sister's fiance"

My sister and (now) ex got together, destroying her family and mine (she was married with kids at the time too). My extended family including my mom took up for her, trying to rescue her from her horrific divorce and consequences that followed. The effects of this extended even to me being disinherited because I refused to attend my sister's wedding, after catching her flirting with my NEW husband. It's been a horrible mess. Today I can speak to my sister (she's never been allowed over to my house tho!) and I don't give two shits about inheritance (my now husband is wonderful, he's all I need). This story hits home for me. Oh and I didn't get walked down the aisle, she did. No apologies, no remorse either. Omg my sister ALSO repeatedly stole boyfriends from me since we were kids! My family is a joke.

The whole 'she's jumping from relationship to relationship BECAUSE she hasn't forgiven her sister' argument is just a bad mother trying to justify why she should force her daughter to forgive her sibling. She clearly wants that because she's twisting the logic, it's so selfish that you can actually see where Hailey gets her selfish streak from.

I saw my brother having sex with my fiancé 1 week before my wedding and my mom cover up everything like nothing happened. My brother and my ex denied their disgusting behavior and my family tried to make me crazy. My younger brother saw them having sex as well so he was my only support through the worse time I’m my life .

I think Jennifer doesn't have to forgive anyone,just grieve and move on. I personally would not speak to my mother anymore if I was in this situation. But maybe that's just because I've never had a good relationship with her tho.

The fact that Jennifer said Hailey been stealing from her since childhood. And the mom responded " well you should have said something" just shows why Hailey was bold enough to cheat with her sisters fiancee. Hailey is clearly her favorite. You can still love your cheating daughter and hold her accountable. Not cutting her off was the right decision, not just supporting her married but trying to guilt the victimized sister into be okay with it? I can't thier family is going to forever be ruined. I'm just glad Jennifer's dad wasn't scared to reject this bullshit.

When hailey decided to taker her sisters fiance she decided that he was more important than her family. So there is absolutely no reason why she should be offended that she is on her own now 🤷🏻‍♀️ she brought this on herself all for a POS

There's honestly a trend with mother's being evil to their daughters and I can't understand how a mother can be so malicious in the first place ****Please don't leave me condescending comments. My egg doner is a narcissist and I've been NC with her for the past 9 months and have been working on healing from the abuse I've endured

the mother is talking about how you have to accept the reality but doesn't accept the fact that she raised a terrible daughter and that it's their fault the household is ruined. the only people in this family i like are jennifer and the dad.

kudos to the dad for being the only sane parent lmao

As someone who’s sister dated the guy that I was infatuated with, that feeling is absolutely devastating. There is no excusing betraying your sister like that.

The whole “sisters not being close” thing..I still wouldn’t take anything of my sisters even though we’re pretty much indifferent to each other.

Jennifer was "jumping from relationship to relationship" because her trust was broken and that's super hard to repair. Without trust you'll see red flags in every relationship you walk into after being hurt that badly

I hate this preconceived idea that in order to "let go"/"move on" you need to forgive whoever caused you pain. No you don't. It's been proven by psychology that you can let go/move on without forgiving and you're not gonna be bitter for the rest of your life, because you can chose (with the right support) that you won't allow the situation/person to hurt or have an affect on you anymore. Even more so sometimes knowing you don't have to forgive might give you peace of mind.

I don't get how the mom could even expect something like this to be forgiven. This is the highest type of betrayal and if I was the mom, that girl could consider herself an orfan

I love how at he beginning of the post instead of saying that the reason the wedding was canceled was because sam cheated/had an affair with Hayley she refers to it as "dating". Is like she docent even consider it to be cheating.

Hailey clearly is the golden child to the mom, the young baby who should be protected at all cost, and when she does something wrong we should forget cause she is a baby, and Hailey is getting advantage on that so she doesn't have to face the consequences and the mom is just rolling with it and don't understand why the oldest don't do the same. I'm so glad the dad is on Jennifer's side. That mom need to wake for reality

My uncle was my mom's boyfriend for 3 years, he was cheating with my aunt for the last two years of their relationship. My mom caught them in bed together, they got married a year later. My aunt and uncle never had any children but tried, when I (child number 5 for my mom) was conceived my aunt tried to convince my mom to give me to her for her entire pregnancy because she "already had enough kids, and we don't have any." She's never even apologized for marrying my mom's boyfriend 🙄 needless to say, my mom and aunt don't talk anymore

This entire situation just brings out everyone’s true colors in this family. I wish all the best to Jennifer. This happening probably saved Jennifer from a miserable life with the two-timing narcissistic bastard. Everyone reaps what they sow. Jennifer, you will recover. With two souls like that, life will take care of things for you because there is no happiness for individuals like that. Focus on you and your well being.

This reminds me of a reddit story that was similar, but more in the future. The daughter who was cheated on refused to go to any family gathering that her sister went to. The sister ended up having a kid with the guy and the mom was upset that her other daughter (the one that was cheated on) wasn't in their life. Also she was finally getting married and the sister, the ex, and their kid wasn't invited. The mom thought that was messed up. Moms can be terrible.

I feel bad For Jennifer(The Older One) Hope she recovers

There's two sisters I was friends with in high school. The oldest got pregnant in high school by her boyfriend. The younger sister ended up getting cheating with him getting married to him and then having a bunch of kids with him. then she had the nerve to be shocked that he cheated on her. Those kids are cousins and half siblings. 🤦‍♀️

If only her mother were as pissed at Hailey as she is at Jennifer for “jumping from relationship to relationship” lmao 😂 I just know Hailey and Sam’s relationship is doomed. And it’s simple: The second Hailey realizes that she’s “won”, she’ll lose interest. She doesn’t love Sam, she loves hurting her sister and having what’s her’s.

Imagine following both these sisters on social media and seeing it go from one excited about her engagement to suddenly the other one engaged to the same guy.... YIKES. cut off the mom and sister you're better off girl.

I'm in a similar situation... my ex husband and younger sister live together.

This would be a great rom com! In the end, Haley is at the altar, smiling all happy and when they say “speak now or forever hold your peace” a lady yells “you bastard! How could you do this to your family!” And she’s holding some kids hand. Maybe Jennifer should hire some actors to partake in that.. Sweet revenge lol

I feel like the mom is just glossing over the fact that the only reason that Sam and Haley are together, and Sam is not married to Jennifer, is that the affair was found out. Not that they were cheating, or are in love, or were "made for each other." Like, if no one had found out he still would have married the other sister. Why is no one talking about that?

the one dislike was Sam 😂

sounds like the sister just wants what belongs to her older sister. She'll probably get bored of him once the scandal dies down and her sister moves on. This is the kind of person you stay far away from.

If my daughter did that than I would disown her

Like I have an older sister but weather we're close or not that is extremely wrong and I do not know how someone could physically do that

They deserve each other

I’m figuring because hailey is the baby and always got what she wanted even if it was in Jennifer’s hand because mom made her give it to her sister. As most babies do. And Hailey got used to it and was probably always jealous of Jennifer. Took jens man and expects mommy to back her up like her mom probably always did.

Love the dad sticking up for the sister who was f**ked over, not walking the other daughter down the aisle is the revenge I'd want

This is a crazy story.. and the part where the mom says, she is jumping from relationship to relationship.. um she wouldn’t need to fill a void or jump relationships had her sister not slept with her fiancé! I swear I would never speak to my mother!

Wow, Sam walking around like he’s e most important thing in this family and all these ladies having no clue how to love each other first before this useless duck

How does she not notice how her kids are doing???

This mom definitely favors Haley over Jennifer... youre telling one sister to get over her lost marriage, relationship, hopes and dreams to her SISTER... I would NEVER forgive my sister for this... Haley seems selfish... the mom is definitely promoting bad behavior... im sure she doesn't mean it, but it is what she's doing....

Jennifer: "Mom, I have lifelong trauma regarding my love life (that i feel is) because of my sister, and this recent event had been a massive trigger as well as a new direct injury." The Mom: "hAv U hEaRd oF fOrGiVeNeSs?"

That first story is my worst nightmare

Forgiveness does not equal restoring the relationship. Her sister has shown her who she is and should be treated accordingly. This family has terrible boundaries and I am willing to bet the mother has been the asshole in many more situations than this.

So, the mom also needs to think of it this way; the daughter didn't just steal her sister's fiance but she put a wedge, and essentially destroyed, their family and the love they had for each other. It puts mom against dad, sister against sister, mom against daughter. In the end, the mom isn't just pretending this didn't happen but allowing her family to fall apart due to her youngest daughters actions. That little girl needs to know that actions have consequences. The mom needs to support her eldest daughter and her feelings and tell her youngest how shitty she is being. The destructive one is the youngest daughter and her soon to be husband. She is allowing the toxicity to be ok and supporting it by going and trying to make everyone be supportive of it. Also, that makes the mom just as toxic as her youngest daughter. She learned it from somewhere 🤭🤷‍♀️

WE NEED AN UPDATE! This tea is 🥵

I could not support my younger daughter’s actions and I would not go to that wedding.

Okay first off never tell your kids you should have told me then. Also never side with the child who picked the cheater. Don't invite that man into your life. He treated one of your daughters this way you'll treat both of your daughter's this way. Even if he doesn't treat the other daughter this way forgive and forget is the stupidest thing in the world. If ignorance was Bliss we would still be sacrificing our daughters to some unknown God for better crop Harvest. This man needs to be held responsible for his actions if he is a man. If he's a boy your daughter shouldn't be marrying him end of subject. I would literally disown and undo one of my children if they did this to anyone in the family let alone their own sister. 1 sisters jumping from relationship to relationship that wording right there just shows how much the mom is victim-blaming one of her daughters. A normal person might say she's moving from one relationship to another or she's not having a steady relationship because she's torn up inside. Not she's jumping from. Those are very derogatory word making it seem like she's very intentionally skipping relationships. Rather than her subconscious in that, really affecting her and her ability to trust and move forward especially when her own mother won't acknowledge her show validation to the one who was legitimately cheated on by her husband with her sister. He didn't always love the other sister or else he would have called it off before. He was caught! And decided to go with the tail he could keep since he pissed off the other one

sam - ex fiancé hailey - younger sister jennifer - older sister

I would divorce my wife for going to the daughters wedding and supporting it if i was the dad

This is the best episode here by far. 100% with dad. Mom is enabling one daughter's bad behaviour while invalidating another when she suffered because of the first's bad behavior

I feel like Jennifer isn't actually jumping from relationship to relationship, she is 30 having to start her life all over again after probably being with Sam for years, she probably doesn't want to waste her time again on shit men and if she feels they are trash she drops them. And her mom probably said it the way she did because she is trying to make Hayleigh and herself look better and make Jennifer the bad guy.

if i was the dad in this story, i'd seriously be reconsidering my marriage if the wife can so easily defend cheating

Jennifer should get up and get a new family (except dad) and a new life.

This entire family will need intense therapy after this, although it likely needed it before. Jennifer will need help to get over the trauma of all the wrongs done to her and to feel she is worthy of love after such intense betrayal from MULTIPLE people. Hailey should get some help to figure out why she’s both insecure but has a delusional sense of grandeur with the “it won’t happen to me” and the mom..... the mom has too many issues to even address. Dad will have to deal with realizing his wife enabled the ruin of his family. This is such a horrible situation that never should have happened

I’m glad Jennifer at least has her Dad. I hope she keeps to never talking to her mother and just has meet ups with her Dad.

Dude the LEAST they could do is elope. How can you not see how much this situation must hurt Jennifer. It has to be embarrassing. And it’s a horrible look on Sam and Haley and gosh that mother. Please 🙄.

Here’s on: OP why don’t you just forgive Jennifer for being unable to forgive someone who isn’t asking for forgiveness and move on yourself?

Man destroys family. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused." Mom: That's fair.

How are you supposed to find a man if you don't date a few of them? Isn't that what "jumping from relationship to relationship" is? Just dating? Maybe I was doing it wrong, but I still ended up with a husband, so I guess it worked anyway 🤷‍♀️

The pauses you made when you read the first part of the story made me believe the daughters were marrying each other😭

breaks my heart hearing this story. As a sister I cannot imagine ever hurting my sister like that. I don’t know how you wake up every day knowing you hurt someone so close to you. That woman is going to end up sleeping with her future daughter’s boyfriends JUST WATCH.

Oh my gosh, I just want to give Jennifer a hug. It sounds like she doesn't have much of a support system, I hope her dad stays on her side, and drops the mother if he has to. Because the mother and Hayley sound like awful people who will poison the lives of anyone that get too close.

The fact that when they found out what Hailey had done, the mom barely spared a thought for how Jennifer felt and moved on to “he’s going to do it to you too! Please reconsider” is very telling! Parents like this are emotionally abusive and most don’t even know it and/or refuse to acknowledge it. Edit: And I bet a million bucks that if Jennifer had done that to Hailey that the mom would ostracize her.

There is a big difference in forgiving and pretending something is fine. Forgiving means Jennifer doesn't waste her time thinking about her sister or ex. It does not mean she has to go to their wedding or sit through holidays with them.

I just want to get in front of the two cheaters (and mommy dearest). To Sam: She couldn’t be loyal to her own sister, her blood. What makes you think she’ll remain loyal to you? To Hailey: He has a proven history of cheating now. What makes you think he won’t do it to you? You see how easily he’s swayed from a commitment he made. To Momster: Sam and Hailey’s actions destroyed the family and have caused the divide. You just proved to Jennifer there’s a favorite for you and it’s not her. You expect her to heal and forgive on your time frame. How do you forgive when your own sister betrays your trust? The woman you’re supposed to trust to have your back and never do something like this? And then for your mom to attend the wedding of the two people who stabbed you in the back? What the hell is wrong with you?

Wow! Just wow! Forgiveness doesn't mean you will be in a relationship with the person you forgive. It just means you let go for yourself! Toxic is still toxic.

If I were the mum I'd understand that jennifer is scared of it happening again with the next man

I would have asked the mom: “what if it was another person who did that, not her sister? What would you have called that woman then?”

Ok think of it like this... child 1 pushes child 2 onto the floor, Child 2 has a bleeding knee. So you punish child 1 and give Child 2 a bandaid... NOT the other way around which is like what the mother is doing in this situation

In order to forgive an apology has to be made from BOTH sides and even then you cannot expect for the sister to just forgive. What they did is unforgivable family or not is only right to cut them off mother included the only one worth going back to the parents is the dad.

When I see stories like this I’m like…you raised that person. You taught them that this shit was okay and it’s on you. There’s no doubt in my mind that the sister is the favorite because the mother has always been complicit in her actions 100%

My mom and the sister that's just older than her always had a rivalry. When my mom married my dad, my aunt came up to her and said "If you ever get divorced just let me know, so I can marry him." That aunt's been married six times and my parents are still married nearly 60 years later. That being said I'm pretty sure the reason my mom never left my dad was just to spite her sister 😆

Sounds like Hailey wants to be her big sister so bad yeah she's a big fan and she needs some type of help because she isn't right in the head

Oh no, mom… Jennifer should be able to feel her feelings (anger, blame, rejection, loss, betrayal) before ever contemplating forgiveness. Being forced to encouraged to forgive before Jennifer is ready feels corrosive and violent 😬

To me it sounds like the mom did that exactly what the younger sister did

The two dislikes are from Sam and Haley

“am i the asshol-“ yes.

The worst part is that the mom said that Sam apologized to her for the hurt he caused but neither Sam or Haley apologized to Jennifer.The mom clearly showed favoritism to Haley and here's something that they should remember.If he will cheat with you he will cheat on you

I would not go to the wedding. Or maybe the older sister stole one of her boyfriends ? 🤔 If my mom told me that. I would just cut off the whole family. Honestly.

I loved hearing the “female perspective” on this story!! R-slash did a story very similar to this (in fact, I had a sneaking suspicion it was either this one or one from the dumped daughter’s pov) and he had very similar opinions, but it was really refreshing to hear that there’s more than one face to this story. Thanks for keeping me very entertained!! Xx

I feel like if someone chooses to do this sort of thing, they're essentially choosing a courthouse wedding. You can't drop a bomb on your family and then expect all the familial trappings of a traditional wedding.

Is she "jumping from relationship to relationship" or perhaps she's just ending relationships because she's not going to settle for someone who is no good for her like her sister did. She could just be wiser and less trusting after what had happened to her and not putting up with bs anymore.

I hate the "You have to forgive" I've had people in my past that I was really close with hurt me. It's been 4+ years now, and I will never forgive or trust them ever again. But at the same time, I except the past and the present situation as it is, and I have moved on. I may never forgive them, and I think that is perfectly okay.

😭 you girls are awesome and for one reason if nothing else you put the link in the description thank you 🙏

I’m so obsessed with this podcast

I think the Dad knows how this dude's mind really works and can see through his bs