Honestly, I think calling CPS was kind of necessary for this particular situation. There is evidence that the children are being neglected (full diapers, no baths, homeless/no income or attempt at making income, etc.) so sending them home to the parents wouldn't do much to solve that core issue. I agree that both are bad situations on either side, but at the end of the day, I think its better the kids have a higher chance at support than what their irresponsible parents are able to provide.
While I agree with this I think the main concern is that in a perfect world CPS is meant to help children but the system doesn't always work as intended. There's potential for children to be placed in a worse situation. Of course, we can hope the kids receive the love and care they deserve but it can be a dire coin toss with CPS hence people's hesitancy. It's sad all around :(
@@towersgabriela666I’d agree if they where not babies, older children yes but babies and toddlers have a MUCH better chance of being placed in a stable healthy happy home because people who adopt or the best foster parents prefer babies and toddler’s because they haven’t been abused or neglected long enough to have permanent emotional and mental issues and any problems a child under 3 has with proper love and care can easily thrive in a better home with loving adopted or foster parents and as young as they are permanent adoption is HIGHLY likely, once they are old enough to form long term memories like at ages 5, 6 years old is when it gets hard to get them adopted.
And I just wanted to comment on Sam's situation: he has talked a lot about how he and his siblings were constantly left alone, and she'd wake them up in the middle of the night if the dishes weren't done while they were young and in elementary/middle school... I can see where a mandatory reporter might be compelled to call in. That said, it's now essentially a crime to report in abuse and neglect for poverty alone. If the parents are capable of doing better but don't: that's neglect. That includes not getting your kids enrolled in CHIP, Medicaid, TANF, SNAP, housing allowance, getting them to school (where they get 2 free meals a day), and/or cash assistance when they would be eligible to do so. There's no set standard because poverty is relative, therefore making what they can do relative--but social entitlements are for everyone including your kids. If the parents are doing something they shouldn't: that's abuse. That's everything from excessive yelling to bruising hitting to ignoring their kids' needs. The damage done in infancy is permanent and lifelong: your brain grows the most that first year of life relative to any other time of life (your pubescence being the time of slowest growth, and your mid-20s being where your brain stabilizes before it begins self- pruning). And as they've talked on with other episodes involving bullying: those kids' social resources are permanently dinged by their parents' actions and inactions because they aren't welcome to go to other kids' homes--and that will stick with them unless or until they change school systems even if it's later rectified. (Karens don't want their Perfect Peters and Patties playing with kids they perceive are "dirty" and, therefore, "less than." For parents to prioritize time out and two pieces can have a lifelong effect on their kids when the struggle is so real they're diverting funds from *diapers and food for the kids*. Especially when you're taxing your own social resources by lying and deceit to prioritize your own emotional needs over your kids' physical ones. If this was just a case of simple poverty, CPS should not be involved. But they should be involved when parents can do better but don't. Yes, the waiting lists for housing and services--*including free day care the Federal government pays for if you're within 400% of the Federal Poverty level*--can be sometimes daunting. But that doesn't mean you don't try and you just start offloading your kids on someone else. That changes being a responsible parent doing what they can with what they have and leaving their kids in a safe place, to blowing up their social resources with no safe place for those kids to go while you take what little the family has for self care. And that is the material difference, IMHO.
Where I was as a kid being called a princess would definitely not be a compliment. It meant you were picky, prissy and generally annoyed others. From the sound of it, that’s more what the nickname means but at least in a affectionate way. Like, “well you are annoying but we love you so…”
Agree with all of it. The nickname sounded a little mean to me. I mean, Link always said "Well excuuuuuse meeee, PRINCESS!" in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, and it was DEFINITELY not a compliment!
I agree. Plus it's not just OP being picky, she said she has some sensory issues so it's not just a personality thing, sometimes sensory issues and yes even pickiness is something people just can't control. I'm picky with certain textures and tastes. I wish I could eat whatever I'm given but I can't and I try my best to tell myself I know I'm not a bad person for not being able to control something that is out of my control.
13:14- as someone who is a multiple (triplet) and who has been “in touch” with cps since birth, it sucks. However, I think it was necessary to call cps. It’s obviously child neglect and she needs to have that on her record or at least warned to light a fire under her ass. I think that’s what op was trying to do because no way you can write the “normal” state of those childrens needs as “lazy.” Op clearly cares about these kids, but her sister just dumped her mother responsibilities and necessity finances of 5 kids onto her, when she’s trying to raise her OWN kid. Tbh I’d be pissed if I was constantly having to pay and care for 6 kids without warning, while my sister is lying about working to pay for these kids, and instead is getting white girl wasted at parties every week. All kids deserve parents, but all parents DONT deserve kids.
Exactly as a 34 year old mother of two I couldn’t imagine treating my kids like that and kids need someone to advocate for them when the parents won’t.
Exactly, if you can’t respect one boundary repeatedly of course I do not want your ass in my house bc you’re just not gonna allow boundaries
11 месяцев назад
I completely disagree about the nephew, she is very clear that the issue is not with putting the dog away, but that the nephew is not allowed in her home because he does not have respect for her and her boundaries (one of the main ones being the dog). But she is not making an excuse about the dog and not putting him away, she is clear her issue is with the nephew on a personal level and I think where she is coming from not wanting someone in her home that does not respect her and her rules is totally fair.
Honestly the fact that the nephew goes out of their way to harass the dog and cause him harm makes her NTA. Who’s to say the nephew wouldn’t come into the room the closed the door in. Dog is also sensitive to noise which a party is a lot of.
Literally, nephew sounds like someone I wouldn't want in my house, let alone to host HIS birthday party where he will likely be feeling even more entitled
As a mother myself what the mom was doing in the second story would be categorised as abused. She was told to get her kids, and she said “in the morning” and I’ve seen that being never getting them. She was not concerned she was caught partying instead of working. She did not need to be there a minute longer. Getting CPS involved is the best way to make sure that kids who are actually abused, which is what is happening in the situation the care they need.
I think involving CPS is necessary solely based on the full diapers. If those kids aren't being cleaned and changed they're getting sick and risk of infection and such. It's legit a danger to the child's health.
The dog will definitely know if he has free reign if the house, then suddenly can't leave a room when he hears everything going on. A teen knows better, he needs to learn how to be a decent person
Princess is a cute nickname with a positive connotation until you're about 5. After that it's an insult that generally means people think you're entitled, vain, self-centered, lazy, etc
@@grumpypants2066 Same. She explains that she knows why they call her that. The sister knows why they call her that too, she's just upset that she likes it
Princess means you’re stuck up and self centered for sure, or also picky and high standard. I had a coworker who called me this but I think it’s because I was shy and organized the clothes by color which made the store look better (I had higher standards, but I didn’t care bc I don’t care about coworkers lol). Still, princess is a cute nickname and I would also feel awkward if my sister was called it by my family and I wasn’t. It just raises a weird comparison.
Yeah I don't get the whole splitting the bill with a big group. Everyone should just pay for their own food. I do agree with splitting or paying for the birthday person's food.
i like it when group appetizers are split, but not in the whole “everyone pays for them” but i feel like the ones who make more (often i’ve been this person) should feel inclined to pay for it out of the joy of sharing, but i notice american cu,tipure isn’t inclined to want to be the one who pays if that makes sense
As someone who also grew up dealing with cps, i have to disagree, and I absolutely think getting them involved was the right call. We don’t know how the parents are behind closed doors, but what we know they’ve been doing is so beyond concerning, and at the very least terrible neglect. What if OP did wait until morning and had nothing more to do with the situation? I get the feeling things would only get worse.
It's so interesting to me that the people that don't want to split the bill get labeled as "cheap" when it's the other people that expect their friends to pay for their experience
For the dog one Hell nah you are not coming to my house. You as a parent have not done anything to stop your sons behavior and he is 16 and torturing a dog. Nope. It’s not about if I can put my dog away but about the fact that you and he are disrespectful to me. Plus do t mess with my dog.
That “princess” story being declared “the asshole” is insane to me. It was not a nickname based on “she’s so perfect we love her and put her on a pedestal” princess. it’s “she’s fussy and prissy and has sensory issues that make her picky” princess!!
Yea it annoyed me too how they somehow managed to completely ignore that part of the story? Because princesses is way for them to make fun of her sensory issues and they mock her constantly like how is that an endearing term when used that way?
@@ZarriawithaJafter years of snide remarks from step sister i think the cooment after the outburst was warranted. Especially since others agreed with it
I feel sort of bad for "the princess" and for her cousin. The family doesn't seem healthy. Passive-aggressively calling kid a princess instead of teaching her some manners is bad parenting. I bet they make nasty comments on everyone in the family, including the cousin. OP states many times that she is not offended by "princess". The way she is focused on that feels like she knows that it's passive-agressive and sort of insulting, but needs it not to be to not be hurt. So either her relatives gaslighted her into accepting this or she gaslighted herself. We need so much more imformation.
For me, CPS was a nightmare. They never found "proof" to move forward. So it made the abuse heavily increase because we as kids complied with the CPS workers. And while the investigations went on, we were all separated in multiple family's homes. At one point, I spent 6 weeks in a girls home and 7 weeks in foster care. Where I underwent more abuse. But this time by people that wouldn't have been believed to be capable abusing the kids in their care. And was told that I must lie about abuse since everyone who took care of me "abused" me. I want to believe in a system that helps kids. But being in that system makes me hate CPS with a PASSION
I wouldn't say people just "make these rules" and are too stubborn to bend or suck it up - these are boundaries and the whole purpose of them is to keep them firm. They're set for a reason. Take it or leave it. Like the lady with the dog.. she has 0 obligations to host a party on her property & i dont think shes using the dog an excuse, she said the child treating the dog poorly is WHY she doesnt want to have him around/why she doesnt like him. & I promise you that dog will remember being locked away when these people come over, but doubt the kid would remember not being allowed to have his party there - UNLESS his mom said things about it infront of him. Which, whos the AH then? Lol Also im sure there are people who would lock their dog away for company whos uncomfortable, but me and most of the animal owners i know would 100% tell the guest they're free to go home before removing the dog who LIVES there. Entitlement is a plauge on society istg.
I don't think the dog is completely an excuse. My dog isn't good around kids or men, and everyone who comes knows that, if you are going to be loud or chease him around, U are out of my house. The family it is not intitle to the house, so no to the party.
Story 2: I disagree with you guys. CPS should have been called period. She is so young with 5 kids under 3 she had no place of her own, she doesn’t take care of the kids hygiene and doesn’t bring any diapers or food, but at the same time her sister and the baby daddy can go to the club multiple times a week lie say they are working. At very least having CPS might wake the neglectful sister up and force her to either get her sh*t together or lose her babies to the system and as toddlers they have a better chance at adoption and getting better foster parents than older kids would because any damage is manageable when they are babies and toddlers.
I was so salty over the dog story reaction, but the insight on the “poor friend” story was such a phenomenal perspective I hadn’t heard about, so I’m feeling petty over my response to the dog story. Thank you for sharing, that’s going to change how I look at these issues in the future.
This is a late comment and I’m sure most won’t see it, the response to the girl that gets called princess was very interesting. Because of biases very important parts of the story were missed by you all and the top comment. OP stated her family calls her Princess not because she’s a “pretty princess,” but because of her reputation for being sensitive and opinionated as a result of sensory issues with things like textures and sounds to the point she may leave the room or avoid touching things which points to her possibly being neurodivergent. OP states she’s not offended by the title not because it’s about special treatment, but because even though it’s not done to be malicious, she and her sensory issues are technically the butt of the joke. Also it does not seem like the family caters to her picky personality because based off of the story OP just does it herself instead of expecting others to cater to her “pickiness.” I do think princess is a sore spot for the stepsister, but I don’t think that’s something that can truly be blamed on OP. Judging from the parents reaction and OP’s comments about previous times that stepsister makes snide comments and usually they let it go and that this time OP was fed up with taking comments directed at her on the chin. If anyone would be the assholes in this situation, I’d personally put that on the parents. Blended families are hard and it seems that prior to the stepdad marrying OP’s mom, the stepsister was her father’s only daughter and her brother’s only sister for 15 years and she may have felt unsure of where she stood when it came to her father’s (and maybe even in some small degree her brothers’) affection and may have felt slightly threatened by the addition of OP. So even though the Princess thing may be the family’s way of joking about OP’s sensory issues, the stepsister’s problem with it probably has to do with her viewing it as OP taking her spot and even maybe a slight betrayal by her father because he’s the one that started it and the stepsister probably viewed her boyfriend calling OP princess as being just one more person she felt like OP was stealing from her even if that was not the case. This whole thing could have been avoided had the parents addressed this when the family first blended back when the girls were teens by making more of an effort to reassure the stepsister that the addition of OP and her mother did not affect her spot in her father’s life, but instead they have let stepsister make snide comments for 15 years to OP in part because they know the nickname is a sore spot for her while also expecting OP to just silently take it for 15 years by ignoring it and never addressing the root of the issue and ultimately letting resentment develop and fester in both girls well into their adulthood which is why in my opinion if anyone is the asshole in the situation it would be the parents (especially the stepdad because as her father it should have been a priority for him to reassure his daughter).
The dog vs nephew story, as someone with dogs, I wouldn’t put them up unless absolutely necessary lol. It’s their house and my dog has anxiety, she hates her crate and shakes/pants when she’s anxious. She’s much more relaxed if given the choice of what to do instead of being contained.
That dog story made me want to throw up. He's 16, actively aware he's hurting the dog by chasing it and scaring it, but he doesn't care. She's protecting her animal and i would too. No way, NTA
I think I think calling CPS was a good choice. Don't hate on me but neglect is abuse. If you can't afford diapers for your child, why are you getting drunk? Going to parties twice a week. You don't act like a parent. Someone needs to wake you up and if this is what it takes then this is what I'm going to do. Simple as that
The problem with not splitting the bill is that there’s always someone who ends up paying way more bc people don’t think about taxes and tip and the last person holding the check it’s screwed. However I don’t go out to dinner with people who would be running up the bill or going crazy
As a Canadian I don't understand why it's so hard to just get separate bills in the US. Also the birthday guys girlfriend should pay for his food since it's so expensive. If it was a more reasonable price they should have split the birthday guys food.
CPS needed to be called in this situation, if neglect was suspected by a close family member who has contact with the kids, at least in my opinion. The system can be an awful place for many children, but it can also save lives… and suggesting that OP should simply wait until they see the kids’ parents and then say “I’m not dealing with this anymore” is kind of ludicrous, as these are literally this person’s nieces and nephews who are being neglected. Why should OP leave their lives? Agree with your empathy for the kids for sure but I don’t think their aunt/uncle leaving them to continue to be potentially neglected/abused
With the Birthday Dinner one, both my family and friend group pay for what we ordered, then split the cost of the Birthday person's food. That way then, we can budget for our food plus a little extra. If the Birthday Person has a partner or they are young and still live with their parents, they might cover it sometimes, but we usually go by this rule. We never had any arguments over this.
If it was my dog I'd do the same thing. Her nephew sounds annoying af. She doesn't have to want him around especially if he doesn't listen or have boundaries. Families guilt trip you. But boundaries exist for a reason. Doesn't matter how much her grandma sold it to her for. It's her property.
The only time I split the bill is when its me and ONE other friend. We both get 1 or 2 cocktails, and we split the appetizer. Depending on the friend we split one entree, or we each share our entree so we can try new things. Other than that, hard now.
i have never understood people who think “splitting the bill evenly” is a thing. maybe it’s because i grew up with not an over abundance of money but different people have different priorities. some people want to spend money on alcohol and some people don’t drink. some people choose not to drink at dinner because of the cost. everyone should be able to choose how much money they want to/ are able to spend on a night out.
The whole thing with the work friends is so refreshing so mature of both of them to recognize where they went wrong admit it and apologize. So many people won’t even try to consider the other’s perspective. I wish more people were like these two.
Stories like the nephew one make me happy I’m pretty much estranged from my family. No way in hell would I host a bday party for some nephew I can’t stand, I wouldn’t even make an excuse about the dog I’d just say straight up no he sucks lmfao
People need ro realize that even though a nickname might start negative, after a while it might get positive connotations. Meanings behind nicknames can change over time. I always got introduced as something that made me stand out from my siblings, because my older sibling was insecure about it and she wanted it mentioned before a random person could point it out and hurt her with it. Now, years later, it feels like its her pointing out MY insecurities.
Nahhh I respect y’all but the takes on the dog story are off. My animals come before ANYONE. They are my family. I’m not locking up my animal for anyone. You got an allergy? Don’t come to my house. You don’t like my animal? Don’t come to my house. It’s my animals house too, you wouldn’t lock a human in another room for a party. You treat my animal with respect or you don’t come around. The cornrow thing, I will say in my experience I’ve seen more black people make issues out of hair than white people. It’s always refreshing to see people point out how their are so many other important issues people could be fighting for but hair is one they’ll die on a hill for
I had instances w CPS where my 2 young cousins were taken and given to my father and I. I was in graduate school full time, my dad is disabled and retired on a fixed income. It was difficult. They were scared, confused, young as well. How do you explain to them their mother really isn’t in a good place while being sympathetic to their frustrations and trying to maintain your own anger? I was 23-25, enrolled in school, doing clinicals, trying to raise kids, cook, clean, etc. it’s stressful. But those CPS was the best thing that could’ve happened. Their mom got the help she needed and now they live w her and I graduated 😅🎉
A little ironic that the one nicknamed princess accused anyone else of making everything about them….i think their nickname implies being the centre of attention.
The sister with 5 kids reminds me of how Casey Anthony was acting right before she murdered her daughter. I’m not saying the sister is going to hurt her kids, or at least not intentionally, but she clearly hates being a mom and can’t wait to dump her children on friends and family so she can go out and party like she did before having kids. _That_ is what she lives for, and that is unlikely to change no matter who chews her out for it, because she sees partying as the one good thing in life that she has to look forward to. And she sees her kids as a never-ending burden. So as much as I hate CPS (I also had a bad childhood experience with them which only made an abusive situation worse), unfortunately the sister doesn’t have the legal right to separate the children from her selfish, irresponsible sister without getting CPS involved. The state of neglect the children are living in is bad enough that they might actually stand a better chance of being cared for by foster parents, which is really saying a lot.
Story 3 wow you guys really suck and don't understand boundaries. OP is NTA. She literally explained the dog has arthritis and her teenage nephew is harassing it, he doesn't respect her things or her home. She has a right to say whoever comes in her house if disrespect is a trend from someone. Y'all got some screws loose
Lol the stepsister couldn't handle not being included and tried to take her anger out on OP... OP was called a princess because of her tastes not actions... A bitter and jealous prune decided to jump in and tripped, Fell on the sword 27 times and then jumped right in the oven to finish the job... She should step out of the kitchen And OP is managing her own comfort perfectly fine y'all just have an issue with it
I wouldn't have someone not respecting my boundaries, my possessions and my sick pet around either. Especially I wouldn't invite them to throw them a party. And calling it 'The Family Property' just shows, that the rest of the family does not respect OP's stuff either. We do not know why OP was the one who got to buy the grandmas house for cheap, but that's ultimately the grandmas choice who she sold it to. So ultimately they asked OP to throw a birthday party for a bunch of people who couldn't care less for their boundaries, their property and their sick dog. And no, the dog will remember being shut in a room for the day, he's not stupid. If it is just for one day, just for that one party, why doesn't the nephews family throw the party instead, after all, it's just one day, isn't it?
I have never had a friend group that does the splitting thing. We paid for what we ordered. The end. I can't imagine ordering food I can't afford to pay for myself and just expecting my wealthier friends to pay for it. I mean, looking back at the times I've gone out to eat with big groups of friends, I always ordered something on the cheaper side, and I almost never got a drink. Meanwhile, other people at the table would order drinks, appetizers, maybe even multiple entrees. I would have been filled with rage if I had to pay even $20+ toward the check when all I ordered was a $10 bowl of soup... $200?!?! I can remember one time that a friend wanted to order a dessert but she knew she couldn't eat it all herself, so she turned to me and said, "I will pay for it, but will you share this chocolate lava cake with me?" That was agreed upon up front that she would pay for it. This whole story is made worse by the fact that they, like reasonable people, thought that everyone would pay their own way, and only after everyone was done eating was it suddenly announced they were splitting the bill. And there were probably other people who felt the same, but peer pressure stopped them from saying anything. NO. Just no. That's a hill I'll die on. These aren't real friends.
As a pet mom, I absolutely put my pets’ comfort over the comfort of people who don’t live in our home. Pets absolutely do know when they’re being locked in a room or disregarded, and I’m not going to make them uncomfortable for people who aren’t paying my bills or living with us. I also think it’s frustrating that people who don’t care as deeply about animals/ pets keep disregarding the feelings of people who do.
CPS was probably a good call on OPs part. I have a lot of experience with CPS because of my abusive family (generations of abuse, addiction, and death due to both on both sides). I've had family in foster care and members who were even adopted out because of the abuse. Foster care sucks. The adoption system sucks as well. One of my brothers was adopted out shortly after birth, and his adoptive family wasn't much better than ours. However, I think it's important to treat neglect as if it's just as severe as physical abuse, because it is. Personally, there have been more deaths due to neglect in my family than from physical abuse, and the physical abuse in my family is severe. There needs to be some CPS intervention in this case. I also think CPS was a good call because, honestly, they rarely ever actually do anything. The most they'll probably do (that is, if they even decide to investigate) is give the parents a scare by visiting. They don't often do more than that, and even so, they try to keep the child with the family as much as possible, often to the detriment of the child/the child's safety:^(
The grandma’s house and dog story, NTA, the nephew has a history of disrespecting other peoples stuff, on top of which he also purposely seeks out the dog and abuses it. That’s bad behavior on 2 counts. Op has a responsibility to protect her dog, and while you say “the dog wont know the difference” being shut in a room, what makes you think the nephew wont go looking for the dog and abuse him in a closed room?! Abusers don’t stop because someone shut a door. Also the sister is entitled, she says it’s the family property and everyone has a right to it. No it’s been sold. It’s op’s house now. Grandma could have sold it to entitled sister but she didn’t. She decided op should have it and sold it to her for favorable money literally making a living inheritance transfer. That’s legal and respectable. Entitled sister can rent a venue for her spoiled kids birthday. It seems the family thinks they can make op do what they want, like they are entitled to her time, her resources, her emotions. They are not.
The story with the CPS they can come in and help. The parents be better parents with us, insisting that they have parenting classes and to be better able to take care of the children properly which sounds like that’s what this young mother needs.
The petty revenge on the bill was good, sucks he had to pay for friend. If you can’t afford something, don’t use others to try & afford it. If anyone should have their meal paid on your bday is mom/dad!
Omg CPS absolutely needed to be called kids being filthy sitting in soiled nappies for who knows how long is neglect and neglect is child abuse giving them back and doing a I’m not getting involved would just be letting the parents continue that abuse so if OP isn’t watching them are they gonna just leave them at home leave them with a random CPS is very flawed but it’s necessary to get kids out of abuse
I come from a family where we all split it evenly. However we all just get boogie at all family outings. There is an understanding too tho for family members that don’t have the financial privilege and we cover each other. It’s not really spoken it’s just part of how we are with each other.
**Splitting the bill** If the partner (who had planned the party) had been more upfront and told the guest PRIOR to the outing that they’d be splitting the bill, then there would be no controversy. Honestly a real friend, someone who didn’t have a hidden agenda, would have told everyone upfront. It just all seems shady. That person is not the ahole and in all times I’ve gone out with my friends, even large groups, no one has ever done that.
If someone comes to my house and is uncomfortable with my dog (given that he’s well trained) then they can go somewhere else. That’s my baby why should he leave cuz you don’t like pets. And it sounds like the nephew is disrespectful in general so she has a right to not want him over, some kids are menaces
Friend situation. He doesn’t understand the privilege that it is to say “My parents can help me out until I can get back on my feet”. Completely disregarding that the friend is possibly the first in their family to make anywhere close to that income. The generational wealth is the privilege.
Lol so they’re not calling her princess meaning she’s so much better but she’s so difficult she’s like a princess… and the stepsister is angry over that? It’s not meant to be a compliment, she deserved to have been called the ugly stepsister because she is acting ugly. If she didn’t do it someone else would because people like that are very irritating
Yeah the stepsister was being outta pocket. She needed to be put in her place, go to therapy and figure out why you’re so salty against your sister. OP said what needed to be said lmao
Agree she is acting like an ass, but i would say look from another perspective. Your sibling has always been catered to their whole life, they are called a princess even. While you don't have as much attention given to you, so you easily start thinking of yourself as the ugly stepsister, as a side character in general. As secondary to the princess. You might be an adult but you still have this engrained in you as it's hard to not think about how you're the ugly stepsister when you don't have such a nickname, "princess". And then when you have said multitudes of times how it's irritating to you, you then get called infront of your bf, overreacting then. And basically having it confirmed to be that you are loved less by your family, as your siblings agree with the princess.
If I was treated lesser by my family my whole life, I would have acted the same. The other sister was out of pocket for calling her that. She's used to her privilege of being the better sibling
@@pinkanime_cat1460 Ok, fine, that can be accepted. But it’s also that the step sister is wrong too. No one is a kid here, they’re all adults and she is also responsible for her behavior. If you and I were having a fight and you made me so mad I then punched you.. it wouldn’t matter what you did to instigate that because I attacked first. Step sister is initiating the fight and then you’re upset she hit back?
For the first story OP is NTA. What I feel like people are missing with her pickiness is when OP mentioned it's not just OP being picky, she said she has some sensory issues so it's not just a personality thing, sometimes sensory issues and yes even pickiness is something people just can't control. I'm picky with certain textures and tastes, to the point I have a gag reflex when I know my body won't let me consume the food. I wish I could eat whatever I'm given but I can't and I try my best to tell myself I know I'm not a bad person for not being able to control something that is out of my control. I'm sure that's how OP feels. She knows being called Princess isn't a positive nickname because of her sensory issues and pickiness but she doesn't let it affect her because that's just a part of her that will never go away. Her sister needs to understand it's not always about herself and a nickname doesn't mean you're the center of attention. The step sister needs to grow up.
I said it in my own comment, but while I think OP is NTA, I also don’t think the stepsister is an asshole. OP joining the family after she’d been her father’s only daughter probably made her question whether OP would replace her in her father’s heart and him being the one to give OP the princess nickname even if it was in reference to OP’s sensory issues definitely didn’t help. It honestly feels like OP lashed out because had years of built up resentment because the parents have never directly addressed stepsister’s behavior choosing to ignore it instead and stepsister has been lashing out of because of a feeling of being replaced and has built up resentment because the parents have never directly addressed her behavior choosing to ignore it instead. There’s a saying by The Supernova Momma that misbehavior is communicating an unmet need and in the stepsister’s it is a possibility that need that was unmet was/is a certain type of reassurance from her father
I'm white and have veryyyyy thick hair. It's not necessarily curly per say, but it is extremely unmanageable without using heat. So I sleep with a silk bonnet to reduce the amount of frizz and tangles that sleeping can cause. I used to have the worse case of bed head and now, thanks to my bonnet, my hair doesn't look like a rats nest in the morning!
Second story, CPS was 100% justified. Remember, OP is seeing what sister is ok with, whats going on away from her perview? I am a mom, and i could never allow that for my child(ren), absolutely not. Not even when my son was born, and i was a teen mom. Also, dislike me if you want, but my animals come before family or visitors to my house. Don't like animals? Dont come to my house. Dont want to follow my rules regarding my animals? I aint afraid to get physical to get you away from them and out of my house and you will never be welcome here ever again. I aint ever gonna be bothered enough to worry if im the asshole or not. 🤷🏻♀️
The "princess" is definitely being an asshole, as well as the sister.. they are both on the wrong.. the sister for not open up about why she resents the princess thing, and the princess for being horrible when things don't go her way; besides, the "joke" moment with her sister's boyfriend could be misinterpreted as flirtatious as well
Six weeks. He probably misspoke and meant the correct guideline of six weeks of abstinence/no penetration post birth. Having a newborn naturally results in sacrifices, but it shouldn’t turn you into some sort of monk or martyr. I encourage everyone who is ready to start having sex again after they give birth to do so. Being more than a mother and getting those much needed feel good chemicals and endorphins is healthy and can help you get back to baseline/normalcy.
Yeah but you’re more fertile right after birth. So, if you’re not gonna protect yourself from having more kids when you already can’t afford the ones you do have, then you should abstain. That’s not sacrificing, that’s just being responsible and considerate of the people you’re dumping your kids on. And considerate of your young children who are being neglected. On top of the fact that it is dangerous to your health to resume intercourse while you are healing after birth. Otherwise, I completely agree. But that lady is something else😅
yall are so funny sometimes, people taking care of their pets seems to baffling to the guys! meanwhile no one should call cps when someone is letting their child rot in their dirty diapers. 😂😂😂 YALL PLEASE. Kindness to your pets is normal and nice. Making sure kids aren't permanently damaged by neglect is important! (and neglect can cause PERMANENT BRAIN ISSUES to young children!)
I think, in Canada, I would call cps because their gut reaction isn't to take kids away from their parents, it's to work with the parents to try to help them. Someone called cps on my sister and it's actually been great for her because she was overwhelmed after her husband got hooked on drugs and took off leaving her with two children; 6yo, autistic, and a 3yo. With her adhd and mental health struggles she was having a really hard time keeping the house clean so they came in and helped her organize her house and got her into therapy covered by the government. Would something like this have happened in the US or is it still normal to have babies ripped from their families? Obviously in the case of abuse, yes. But this kind of neglect, assuming that they aren't addicts and just need a reality check, I feel like it can be corrected.
I have now seen several stories about splitting the bill problems and like this must be a regional thing because splitting a bill in the southwest means separate checks and servers when they see a big group ask at the start. So it's a non-issue outside like dates. When I dine out with friends it's usually 2 to 3 people so often I cover the meal since I am lucky enough to have a good job these days. Although we usually somewhat alternate bc it's been expressed they don't want to feel like a mooch.
I would like to know how you guys think that letting those kids go back to a very bad situation is better than calling CPS and hopefully getting them into a house that will take care of them. They are being emotionally, abused and neglected. There’s a difference between oh I’m being neglected and getting sent to my aunts house so she can do everything and then having to go back to this homeless nature with a parent that does not care they are being neglected they needed to call the sister needed to call CPS that was the only way to get this resolved and yes, it’s not necessarily the greatest for the kids but it’s better than the kids being treated as if they’re nothing so I’m going to have to disagree with you too there I have three kids of my own. CPS sometimes is the best option.
Regarding the friend who grew up poor that is now making $300K, it's obvious that he made his career decisions based on money rather than quality of life because he never wants to be as poor as he was as a kid, and it sounds like he's supporting many of his poor relatives. But he is making freaking THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND A YEAR. With proper financial planning, (even taking into account the moocher relatives) he and his kids are going to live very comfortable lives. The OP is making less than a third of that, maybe even a fourth, so he's not going be able build up a huge financial portfolio or build generational wealth for his kids beyond whatever he ends up inheriting from his parents. It really just comes down that what is more important to you - having a huge financial cushion, or having a job that doesn't make you want to gouge your eyes out every day. They've each made their choice, and they shouldn't make the other feel bad for theirs or minimize the struggles that come with that choice. Honestly, though, frugal as I live, if I made $300K a year, I'd be able to retire ridiculously young.
The issue with the CPS for me is if it really was a CPS issue then she would have called when she first got them but she didn’t. She waited till she got pissed off 19:11
I think with the 300K salary its not just the brown tax but if hes VP he probably spends a certain amount keeping up an image, business lunches and other work related expenses that may not be covered by his employer and is that 300K before or after taxes because it makes a difference. Now of course he isnt obligated to help his family but growing up poor he probably also has to overcome a scacity mindset as well which can take time. So he may have more financially but he may not yet feel or see himself as financially stable.
The princess story: NTA, her family are mocking her for having sensory issues. The cps story: NTA, Neglect is abuse. Those kids don't deserve it. Dog: NTA, if he doesn't respect boundaries, he doesn't deserve to be around the dog. It's Op's house, and her dog is a part of her family, so deserves to be treated well. Poor friend: Honestly, Op's friend made an unsupportive comment, but neither are the AH. Splitting the check: NTA, that was a bad thing Op's friends did. Son's hair: NTA, your son loves it and some idiot's opinion doesn't matter.
My grandmother had always called me princess. I think it was because I was the baby out of all of the girls. The nickname stuck, but only she called me this.
Why ppl bully - because they are being bullied by someone else. Hot people bully ugly people when hot ppl don’t think they have their own self worth, that it’s all about their looks - and they know that this can get taken away at any moment, and WILL get taken away eventually. They feel insecure because they are kind of always on the verge of having no self worth. Hot insecure people are the most bothered by anyone whose self worth isn’t based in looks, and funny looking people with self esteem and confidence will fuck them up the most. Imagine your whole worldview is based in “I am nothing without my looks and when they are gone I will be nothing.” Someone who thinks they are inherently worthy will make ppl lash out because it challenges that toxic shit. It shows ppl the uncomfortable truth of “you could choose to see yourself as a human but you would have to disconnect from materialistic values that currently give you privilege.” That hot insecure person is someone whose parents taught them in no uncertain terms that they are receiving love and attention because they are pretty, and those parents took that shit away if the appearance isn’t performing.
24:21 I’m hoping this convo goes a different way, but imo, someone who doesn’t respect MY BOUNDARIES, like f*cking with my dog, or that the property is something I own, then I don’t want them in my home. Point blank period. I don’t care about the nephews 16th bday, he can’t behave like a young adult in my home, so he isn’t welcome!
Also you guys talked about this in another story where a friend tried to move in, and told the family to kick out the dog due to allergies. You guys said it wasn’t okay then, and granted this is for 1 day, but it’s the principle of coming into somebody else’s home and try to set rules on THEIR home. That’s not fair, and isn’t okay. If you can’t respect somebodies house, don’t go there??
Calling CPS WAS THE HEST OPTION. Those kids were being abused. THEY WERE BEING NEGLECTED. Neglect is a sign of further abuse. Please sit down Sam. I’m sorry you had a bad experience but if she walked away and if something happened to those children their blood would be on op’s hand. Get out of here.