Can you imagine going through the grief of your partner (and almost husband) of five years dying, and then his family sues you for the funeral you paid for and the ring he bought for you??? I would be BEYOND livid. Restraining order at that point
You can’t hear or even properly interpret how OP is sounding or feeling from texts. For all we know she could’ve been crying while typing it. She’s probably not even really over the death and now she’s constantly being attacked. She’s most likely numb from all these strong feelings coming at all once.
Yeah, somebody should have said “Bruh” three kids ago. If nobody says anything now, what’s to stop baby number 8 in a year? Honestly, I’m not a big fan of ultimatums and it may sound harsh but the family should refuse to give any more help raising those babies unless that girl gets her tubes tied. The long term victims of this are going to be those kids because once Grandma is too tired and OP is gone, you can bet she’s going to expect the older kids to parent the younger ones.
I'm still listening, but it sounds like the sister is punishing her mom for the affair, by pawning the kids off on her. OP didn't ask to be here and is the only one that spoke sense to the sister. That's why she ran out crying, she knew what she was doing and got called out. But idk, I'm hitting my bong🤷🏿♀️
I don’t think the sister took it too far in the first story and it was long overdue for someone to finally say something about the situation. That family seriously needs to start putting up some boundaries and stop enabling her. If your 16 year old sister has changed more of your own kids diapers than you have, you deserve to be spoken to like that and she has every right to be angry at you. Makes me angry for those kids to have a mother that cares so little like that.
Did anyone catch that at the end of the first story that 7kidsMom left Karl(HER SON) with her mom thus somewhat proving OP right😭 OP was definitely NTA in that situation for sure. That being said, I think the primary reason no one has said anything about it is because they don't have to deal with the consequences and Mom committed an affair, thus "owing" her daughter childcare and a muted tongue. I can't help but feel bad the mom's kids cause once those twins get in their teens they are DEFINITELY going to become parents to those kids once OP dips and the mom can no longer keep up with the babysitting.
Not only did she mention the mom putting Karl back to sleep. OP then mentions the next day she looked after the BOYS. So it wasn't just the one kid sister left behind. I think the mom is overcompensating. She feels bad about having an affair and ruining the family. So she does everything she can to make her oldest happy.
@@uma4158that's exactly what it is and the daughter is totally taking advantage of them both. I have one toddler and take care of her by myself, I cannot imagine having seven all at once.
The OP is only 16 at this point, so is also getting robbed of their teen years to take care of the sister's children. The only one who appears to not be having their life affected by not using protection is the sister.
The ring story: if your brother/son passes away after buying a ring for his fiance why the hell would you feel like you're entitled to the ring? That family would never have any claim to it no matter what. That's wild, they tried to take advantage of her
10:51 she mentions her mother being overworked And the mother cried after that interaction Like imagine being at that point where someone simply mentioning your struggles makes you break down
First story absolutely NTA. People who treat their kids like clothes that can be left around at someone else's house , as if all they require is a location are always in the wrong. If I take care of your kids I can have an opinion. It is way more loving to give a wake up call then it is to enable someone. Sure she's pregnant the damage is done , but Lorri needs to realize she is not the main character and she needs to take responsibility.
Also the sister literally asked for his thoughts. He shouldn't have called her a bitch but all the other stuff, she asked for. I found that people on the autism spectrum are increasingly honest and straightforward. She knows what to expect. If she didn't ask OP wouldn't have said anything else probably. But she asked and knew/should have knew what was comming.
The sister ran away crying while her 9 month old was still in her mims house.....so I'm just confused as to why the sister is suprised. Like if you can run away without your child unanounced then yeah you're relying on your mom and sibling and your 16 year old sibling gets to be mad that you're having a sixth kid.
First one... NTA. She's a child herself (16)! She should not have to responsible for someone else's kid. Her mom should only be responsible for her, and not her grandkids.
Even in marriage, legally, inheritance is not split. I would not consider OP to be TA for protecting the daughter’s inheritance. And she said she would only use her earned money to gift things from that point on. Don’t really see what’s wrong with that.
I get what you’re saying but if you’re marrying someone either kids they’re going to be your kids as well. I heard a lot of me and I in her post. I think I would of been better had she had the trust done before not right after a argument
@@Chris-pz8euthe argument made her realize she should’ve made a trust before that moment. If the genders in the post were reversed, people would be calling for her HEAD. The gold digger comments would be much more intense (and involve slurs).
@@Chris-pz8euThat would be fine if it was her money only but it’s the grandpa’s money and he left it to his granddaughter with the understanding that it would go to his great-granddaughter. He never knew the step-kids. It wouldn’t be right to leave his money to them.
@@Chris-pz8euAll the kids in the family should be treated equally by the parents. But that is generation money that should be passed on her child. His kids have another part of their family thru their mom. If their maternal grandparents leave them any money, I doubt he is going to say you have to split it with your step sis.
First story sounds like the mum is trying to make up for having an affair by taking care of the kids. Theres too many kids OPs sister needs her tubes tied for the time being. Its also sad you can tell they treat OP differently because of the circumstances around her conception 😢
Story 4: NTA that is HER generational wealth, if he had money like that coming into the relationship she wouldn’t be entitled to it either. You never know what the future holds, protect yourself. His comments were red flags & that probably was her sign to do what she did. As far as the kids…she doesn’t sound like she has any intention of spoiling her daughter full out in the future like the step kids are gonna get left behind, this money is for the daughter’s (adult) future. The husband can set up accounts for his kids that he can put money in for his kids if he chooses.
For the inheritance story, there is no way to make these kids have equal lives in every way. The fiancé’s two kids have a third parent, the mom - should they cut her off forever to make that fair? And does the mom’s child support money go just to those two kids? I would imagine so.
That’s such a good point. The kids will never be living “equal” lives. The fiancé has a previous partner funding his kids on top of OP seemingly assisting. OP’s daughter doesn’t have that, but she does have an inheritance. I could only see this kind of situation breeding contempt between the kids. Nobody would win.
This is such a good observation. I don’t have a single issue with her putting the money that husband had nothing to do with to the side. We he cancels his child support, they can split the inheritance.lol Also, the child wouldn’t be getting the money until the child is 18 right? So there wouldn’t be a great disparity in the way the children are raised right?
The main thing is the inheritance came before their marriage. The step kids didn't even meet the grandfather so in what universe are they entitled to that money....? That the grandfather specifically wanted for his bio granddaughter
Coming from someone in a blended family where the half that is NOT my bio family has a lot of money, I’ve never expected that I will receive any inheritance from said grandparent when he passes. I’m not biologically related to him, I don’t feel like OP is the asshole for not wanting to split the inheritance. Especially because she’s already raising their family in a nice estate together and it sounds like her and her partner make good money.
I totally agree. That money was very clearly and specifically left to the bio family. AND it’s separate from the Mom’s personal income. That alone makes her NTA. And the husband is NOT behaving appropriately. This is the first time I’ve almost aggressively disagreed with the hosts on their hesitation to immediately deem OP not the asshole lol
@@erikacomfort3343 Husband is acting like a gold digger trying to steal step child's inheritance. Life is not fair. It's his job to provide money for his children. They even have their own living mother. Tell him it will be fair if his children lost their Father.
The inheritance one: her daughter can’t access the trust until she’s 30. They can access it only for specific purposes it’s not like she’ll have a monthly allowance to spend on designer clothes. The biggest red flag for me was he complaining about her buying a horse for her birthday and expecting the same for his kids. It’s her birthday!!! Sorry but that’s none of his business at the moment
I get that 100%.... but psychology knows this is gonna make these kids resentful and feel unloved by a person who is supposed to not have favorites, as she chose to partner up with someone else with children. It's tough for sure, she never should have gotten into any relationship involving other kids if she knew she would protect her bio kid first and foremost. She even admits that is always her highest priority out of what would be her 3 kids. That is never, ever ok to do. If you feel this way, you're totally valid to! But NEVER try to invite other kids you cannot afford the same live and care to into the mix. Your care for your kid is valid, keep it to your kid and don't force other kids who want to see you as a mother and have no control over your admitted lack of care over your non bio kids comparatively into what will statistically become trauma...
@@comicsans3537but she still does pay equal expenses with her fiancé for her family. The trust has literally nothing to do with anyone but her and her daughter. And it’s not like she can spend it everywhere Willy nilly, it’s in a trust.
There's always going to be more birthdays. More things to spoil your daughter with and leave the other girls out. A car, an expensive electric guitar, a trip to study abroad, or just the most expensive private school in the country. It's not a red flag to want your future WIFE to treat your children the same way she would treat hers. Ultimately it is about opportunities. Not horses or designer clothes.
Imagine having a kid and their grandparent died and leaves you money. Then you have a new baby. Then you say no that money is only for the first kid because she met grandpa. Idk it's greed. As a half adopted kid (bio mom adoptive dad), my dad would never. People are always so ready to call poor people gold diggers but not rich people greedy.
The inheritance story was interesting but I have to say, people are still somehow ignorant about prenups and postnups in this economy? It's not assuming the worst, it's protecting yourself and preventing chaos in the unlikely event of divorce. the fact is divorce is a very emotional but legally binding process which are a chaotic combination of things. People get petty, spiteful and callous because they're hurt. Just because you're in love now doesn't mean you have clairvoyance and can predict how future events will effect the relationship. If anything it's arrogant and naive to live in lalaland and ignore financial risks going into a marriage.
We know what a prenup is. The trust is totally different bc it still works while married. Like in a family 1 kid is getting a lot of stuff and the other 2 aren’t it will cause problems.
I think of you're able to "plan your divorce" before even being married and not (almost) break up because of it, your relationship seems at least somewhat stable 😄.
Story 1: never ask an autistic teenager to elaborate on their feelings if you aren't prepared for FEELINGS (source: I was an autistic teenager) Story 2: absolutely NTA.
Inheritance story: Isn't a toss up because his two kids have another parent. If she isn't adopting them and the expectation is she isn't to take that position, the fiancé's argument is odd and I see it often in these stories where one person feels bad they can't provide the same lifestyle or opportunities as the other partner's child and so they want that child to miss out for 'fairness'. Life isn't going to be fair unfortunately and thinking she should take away from her child isn't fair.
If that man is throwing that much of a fit for money grandpa left for your daughter hes not even marriage material at that point. Sounds like he wants to control everything.
As someone who went through a horrible divorce, I can tell you that the person you divorced is many times, not the person you married. People can turn and become evil and vicious. Mine was horrible, and there was no money to fight over. If there had been this type of money involved, my ex-spouse definitely would've wanted his cut. 50% of marriages end in divorce. She needs to protect this inheritance and require a prenuptial agreement before they get married. I would end the relationship over his reaction to the trust being set up.
as soon as you said it was a lord of the rings rig i was like ah that makes sense. EVERYBODY wants the one ring to rule them all. lol clearly it was the real ring
Prenup prenup prenup. If you have generational wealth it should always be protected against divorce and other situations. Getting your daughters inheritance secured is common sense. NTA.
Simple fix is this: make the trust accessible when they all grow up and if the marriage is still intact ONLY. I'd they divorce, it goes back to rhe single kid immediately. There were a lot of other options beyond choosing to partner with a man with kids while knowing you would hold your bio one in higher regard if it came down to it (not just in the marriage but in other areas as she seems to state). Both parties are bad here, but arguably she is the worst offender for holding a valid mindset in a situation you should never have that mindset in. She chose to pair up with a man with kids and then doesn't seem to get how that WILL affect the other kids :/ Again, she has a totally valid desire and I hope she goes through with it! But to hold that desire while also choosing a relationship that makes that impossible without becoming a bad step mother was her choice and a bad one.
When I was 11, my stepbrothers (since age 4) had their father and grandfather pass away leaving them money and share to a large family business. As a child it's a bummer when you see every one of your siblings getting something/going somewhere that you can't however I have never specifically resented them, my parents or their situation. I was always taught that people will have different things in life and if I love someone I should be stoked about the experiences they get to partake in. Idk if this is wrong or right but I think those kids would be fine with the inheritance situation if they were taught that money doesn't matter
I relate to the first story so much, my cousin has two daughters and she just had a son, she’s had custody trouble ever since she had her two girls and she barely even takes care of them, everytime I would stay at her house so I could hang out with her sister (my other cousin) me and cousin 2 would get stuck watching her kids cause she was either fighting with her baby daddy or off doing drugs or sleeping with some random guy, it’s so annoying to hear someone is having another kid when they already don’t take care of the ones they have. When my cousin said she was having a kid half the family was just like 🙄 cause we all knew it was gonna be another kid that WE have to take care of, and now since she had her son we never see the girls anymore, the only kid she brings over is her son. It’s like now that she had the boy she wanted she doesn’t care about her daughters. Definitely NOT the asshole.
First story absolutely NTA. I’d be mad as hell if my sister won’t stop having kids while not taking care of them and handing them off to family members. It’s ridiculous and selfish . Don’t have kids you can’t take care of, the sister needed a wake up call
I feel like they all aren’t taking into consideration that OP in first story is only a 16 year old girl! She of course is not TA. If it was a positive environment or possible at all I would be requesting to go live with Bio dad if I was her 😅
Trust inheritance story: if OPs baby daddy was in the picture and also gave OP and kid money before passing it would be a similar situation. Would he still be asking for the money set asside for OP and kid if another related man gave it to them?
1st story - I honestly this it’s weird that only a 16 yr old is speaking up and yes it was a petty response but they are 16 feeling the consequences of her sisters actions I feel like that gives her a place to voice how her sister isn’t taking responsibility. the silence when she announced the pregnancy said it all
For the inheritance one, I feel like it would be different if he hadn't blown up over the pony. Yes, money makes people weird. If this is his reaction (no pony under any circumstances - because OP did try to compromise by getting everyone a pony), then it sounds like he is someone who is weird about money. Could she had talked through it more with him? Yes, absolutely. If he hadn't blown up then more of that money might have still been accessible to him and his children. But he started off by acting as if that money isn't accessible to him, and then refusing to let OP act with her own money how she wanted because of how that might affect the money that might be accessible to him in the future? It just doesn't make sense.
I think the Pony thing is only a problem from his prospective bc she’s getting it for the kids birthday it wasn’t his kids birthday but yeah when you marry someone they become your kids so her mentality gives off she shouldn’t be getting married
@@Chris-pz8eu When you blend a family it isn't always going to be equal. One person will have more extended family or parents then another. Does that mean you get to steal money from one child and give it to the other? No. Life isn't fair. And you don't marry and then just assume all your spouse's money becomes yours. Especially not inheritance.
@@Chris-pz8eu I agree in the general sense but not the practical sense. If I were in that situation I would want to love my partners kids as if they were my own, and (without stepping on any other parents toes) hope to develop that relationship with them. Especially because kids don't have any choice in adult nonsense. But these two aren't even married yet, and even a lot of second marriages end in divorce after a few years. I'm glad OP is taking a break because this is something that should've been discussed before they got engaged, and then reevaluated as the relationship strengthened. Instead they have a permanent solution due to his reaction and her back pedalling to correct the situation.
@@Chris-pz8eu100%. He also sounds like he doesn't always see the other kid as his own, but idk if that's from retaliatory upset that she clearly cannot see these kids as her own. I get not seeing them as that after 2 years only.... but these ARE gonna be your kids. You don't have 1KID, YOU HAVE 3. Act like it before you traumatized kids that are proven to react this this stuff terribly... They shouldn't be relating at all, let alone getting married. The kids will see that daddy loves someone who doesn't see them as her own kids too and that'll fucking hurt.
I relate to two of these stories. The sibing who won't stop having kids & the mother who enables her son. Sorry that the sister in the first story is not in the position to distance herself yet. I have distance myself this past year & it has been great. Mothers who enable their sons seems like it is an epidemic. Having dealt with it personally, it feels so disheartening being treated differently than your brother & excuses being constantly made for him.
#4. NTA!!! He is a gold digger!!! RUNNNN!!! Him and his children ARE NOT entitled to the inheritance!!! PERIOD!!! She needs to cut her losses, because he's going to continue badgering her about the money!!! He needs to work more to provide for HIS children!!! Don't reduce your inheritance or retirement for him and his children...
Re: the last story/giving parents $ - the thing that really makes OP NTA for me is the fact that the parents knew even BEFORE being confronted that OP wouldn't have given them the $2k if OP knew that it was going to the brother. Parents blatantly lied, brother didn't even go to the wedding, so basically OP paid $2k for brother to go on a bender... bruh. Saying that though, I might not completely cut them off if the financial situation is bad enough that they're eating at the food bank. I'd probably still send enough $ for weekly groceries, but ask for receipts for anything extra to make sure that it wasn't going to brother. If parents decide to give their grocery $ to brother and have to eat from the food bank? So be it. That's their grocery $ and their choice. But yeah, OP definitely NTA.
Nope. If they need money for groceries then order their groceries for them. Parents like this will give any money they have for the deadbeat even if they suffer, but when deadbeat realizes parents don't have money to give them (just giving groceries) then they bugger off.
Story 2: this is absolutely nuts! He bought the ring for her, it’s not a family heirloom or anything. WTF! Block them all & totally remove them all from your life, maybe your friends too smh
Here’s the thing about the inheritance story, if you can’t match the amount of money! Nah spouse and their children that they came in the marriage with, cannot be part of the inheritance. It will be completely unfair, to a dead grandparent of the child that was left the money, to have to share their money! Nah! That is it right! Especially the fact, if they didn’t even have a relationship with the person that left the inheritance, no! that should be kept separate. Either they make it work and explain why, or they should go their own separate ways! There are ways to keep things fair! Like the family money! That can be used, for the family! Or the inheritance, mom’s and daughters money,can be used on what they want and need, that way whatever family money comes in, will make it somewhat fair, but just because Mom got into a relationship, with somebody with children, does it mean she got to lose her money, so nobody doesn’t get their feelings hurt. It’s like if one child family member left them a large amount of money, that the step siblings have no connection our relationship with, they shouldn’t have to share that. Just like the moms bf, does it need to use his child support he gets on his gf daughter. People cheat every day! The bf can meet someone else, and want to leave, then this woman loses half of her inheritance! The daughter loses her inheritance! Just because it was so called fair at the time, now they all came up, on somebody else’s money, that they had no relationship with, and the mom and daughter, lose a whole lot, just because mom was guilt, it into being fair, so no one feels left out. The real world doesn’t work that way! And he should’ve understand that when she got into the relationship, he should’ve understand, that wasn’t her money that she worked for, her grandfather work for that money, and left it for the both of them, not for them to give away to random strangers.
Last story - I like Sam's point about once you give money away it's not yours. And it is the kind of situation that evens out, if someone takes money and misuses it, they can technically do that but the choice to piss it up a wall (as we say here in Australia) will have the consequence of people deciding not to lend out money again.
“AITA for calling my mom incompetent. Back story, I come from a Mexican family with generational trauma, but I’m still gonna take care of my incompetent mom.” I was ROLLING with Y’s comment. 😂 same story, different person but I relate to her on so many levels. Y’all are great to listen to 👏🏽
Children from a mixed marriage have no claim to any wealth left by grandparents they are not biologically related to. They already have 4 bio grandparents of their own. You don't get a bonus inheritance every time your parents remarry. Now if the kids came into the family young and the step-grandparents had a relationship with them and cared for them and want to leave them something that is of course fine. I had 6 grandparents as a child and I didn't receive anything from the estates of my step-grandparents nor should I have. This doesn't mean you should be flaunting your child's wealth by buying them a pony while the other kids are wearing hand-me-down clothes but on some level you have to accept there will not be equality in step-siblings because there also may be a discrepancy in the wealth of all the parents in the picture and the children of one side shouldn't miss out to make things "fair' for the other children.
i’ve been working the overnight shift at work the past few months and yall have been keeping me company, no seriously i will pause the video and talk out loud like im part of the discussion 😭 thank yall for the company
My mom had 8 kids.... 8... There were the three older kids, including myself.. and then there was a long stretch to the final five... I have two older brothers.. at for me.. at the ripe age of 15... was expected to be the care taker for all these new kids my mom was having.. My two older brothers were never expected to take on the 'childcare' responsibilities. My mom got divorced and had a long stretch of no kids.. my youngest sister just started Kindergarten and my mom... came to me asking if I could help her scan something onto the computer.. I said sure, and then she said "please dont get mad" cause she already knew I was DONE raising her damn children.. I had to quit high school, I was not allowed to get a job because my mom needed me for daycare.. all of my brothers moved out the MOMENT they were able to escape my fate... She handed me a sonogram of a new 9th baby... I flipped my shit. I screamed at her.. We have too many kids who have lived malnourished cause she cant afford to feed them all.. her men keep walkin out on her, and my one brother and I were tired of having jobs to support HER children.. Nothing like working a full time job before you are even able to legally VOTE so you can support your siblings because your mom wants to trap men with kids.. (A plan that NEVER WORKED) Plus, she was too old to be doing this shit.. Our youngest just got into school.. I FINALLY had time to NOT parent my mothers children. I told her "thats it, I am gone in three months." And I was true to my word.. I was done raising my moms kids. Sometimes... you need to give these women a verbal slap in the face.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that. A lot of time those are the people who don't want to have children of their own bc they have lost their childhoods raising children.
I have been saying for YEARS that generational living SHOULD BE NORMALIZED in the USA. My bf & I have a blended family of 5, and we let all of our kids know that they are more than welcome to live with us as long as they want. So far, only 1 has taken us up on this & we still have 1 under 18 at home.
As someone who owns dogs and a rabbit, I had to skip the bunny and dog stories section. Before anyone gets worried, my rabbit literally bullies my dogs. AND THEY LET HER DO IT.
Story 1: this chick needs to learn some responsibility & prevent pregnancies. She has that many kids with multiple men, lives with her mom & her family takes care of her kids? NTA, if she wants that many kids she should move out & raise them 🤷🏻♀️
My step-sister’s mom married super rich and my parents hated whenever she would bring things that her mom bought her. It’s a bit of a different situation since it’s not my primary caregiver splitting the money or putting it aside, but I really didn’t care that she got a lot of things. With the pony thing, the other kids may not even want a pony so why get them each a pony. Also, if you still listen to what each kid wants and do your best to get that for them if it’s within reason, there should be no reason for the kids to be jealous. Since it was from the grandfather, it makes more sense that it goes to the daughter. It is also not like the daughter or mom has complete access to any of the trusts. It’s sad that the engagement ended, but it also does make sense. Equal does not necessarily have to mean that everyone gets the same thing.
The retirement guy is an a hole not for cutting his daughter off but for only conditionally saving for his daughter under the hope it’ll “payoff”. The daughter is also an a hole bc of her attitude too so they both are. Who cuts their kid off on a whim if his daughter wasn’t his retirement plan from the jump? He’s the bigger a hole of the 2 IMO.
If I’m giving money to someone, especially that amount, it’s with the knowledge that they need my help for an expressed and honest reason - I.e the house stuff her mum’s excuse was. $2000 is a LOT to give anybody, even family! I’d feel betrayed and annoyed knowing they’ve spent it on something completely unrelated, even more so if it’s to support the actions of a brother I don’t agree with! Side note: I really dislike mothers who coddle their boys as they make increasingly stupid decisions. Ma’am that is a grown ass man, treat him like one
When they were talking about Madi being sarcastic and not changing her tone. This is literally me and I = have been told I have a dry sense of humour, especially when I was in high school and at a parent-teacher interview my science teacher told this to my parents when discussing me and how I am in the classroom. Plus with sarcastic comments it's so much funnier when you say it like you are being serious, as long as the person knows you well enough they will get it, but if they don't know you, they can make the funniest faces.
For the inheritance it's money that was given to her daughter before their marriage so I think it should remain hers. The compensation for that is that, with the joint money the kids should get equal gifts but maybe the other kids get slightly more put into their savings since there's no inheritance to help them. So technically it balances out. The kids won't really know and as long as you push for them to treat each other well it should be fine.
I was sipping a coffee when “is she someone I can see having my litter?” was casually dropped into the convo. I think we can all imagine how that went for me.
The inheritance story I feel like everybody isn’t understanding. That’s her(mom) inheritance she doesn’t have to at all share that in their marriage. Her daughter’s inheritance should like she basically stated remained untouched. He gets child support what is he doing with that? I understand once you’re married y’all share almost everything. But inheritance isn’t one of those things. So sucks for him and his kids
Story 3: $1000 a month is a decent amount of money & at 23…she should take care of herself, especially if she can’t respect him & his wife. Like it or not, that’s their money they can choose to invest it in themselves & they should imo.
If he has help from the mom of his children financially like child support & OP has no extra help because she doesn’t know the father then its well within her right to look out for her child in my opinion
About the inheritance, does the bf use his kids' child support to OP's daughter? If bio mom d*es and has inheritance to give to the kids, will OP's daughter getting a share too? I don't think OP's grandpa met or had any type of connection to bf's kids so why does he think grandpa will give his kids a part of the inheritance? "Be fair" even in blood related families, nothing is fair. He wants the best for his kids and OP wants the same for her daughter too. If he wants his kids to be financially covered, then he needs to work harder for them. Not him expecting OP and grandpa's money to cover for his kids
Story 1: NTA, im am the oldest of 13 and my parents aren't even together...as soon as they both hit baby #4, i told them both "why the french toast are ya'll like this".
That husband ,so if his parents died today would inheritance money go to her and her daughter? No. Like He seriously lives in her house. It's all paid off. His children aren't suffering. He sounds like a gold digger. That money was never his. The money that they will have going forward will support both kids. They don't have the right to steal her inheritance.
Just a fun fact! I'm currently at the part about Baxter the lab with the baby bunnies. But labs actually have a "soft mouth" when it comes to holding things other than toys. Thats why they are good bird hunting dogs. Because at a certain age they realize that some things need to be held more delicately than other. Thats why they are used for bird hunting so when they grab the bird from the water or wherever it fell, there aren't any puncture marks in the body from the teeth.
She literally reflected on being an asshole while watching one of her irresponsible sisters kids the morning after she stormed out leaving her mother to put her baby back to sleep. Twice in that story she proved her point.
57:16 Morgan and Justin, host of THT and her partner, just got engaged!! Also, prenups are good because you make them when you both love each other and care about each others well-being vs when/if you’re getting divorced, sometimes things are rocky and you might not have each others best interests in mind.
what's even crazier about the fiance wanting in on the generational funds is that he has two children vs. OP's one daughter. Was dude really expecting his fiance to split her daughter's inheritance in thirds so his kids could have equal shares? If they had already been married that would be one thing, but these funds were dedicated to the OP's daughter WAY before they ever got engaged.
For the first story, NTA. The only thing I could give YTA for is the insult, but I understand the frustration, she's being ridiculous and selfish to her parents and sibling now, and she *_did_* say "If there's something you need to say, say it" and it wouldn't have happened if she didn't say that.
Story 3: disagreements aside, OPs daughter is incredibly ungrateful of the help she receives. I get help from my parents and it is a life saver for me while I'm in school. There is no assumption the help with continue after I graduate. OPs daughter comes off as very entitled
23:40, for the Engagement Ring story, I agree with Jessenia (Yesenia?), probably the Fiance's family got to the friends and told them lies, like, "Look what OP is doing, she's stealing a heirloom" just to peer-pressured her
The gold digger story it’s me hard. My ex-husband (I found out later) thought I was from a rich family. It turned out a friend from high school told every one I was the rich one despite me having to use the free lunch program because she was ashamed of her father working for NASA and tricking her mother into not suing him for child support because her mom was super dumb. My ex thought that when he married me that he would be put in charge of the family wealth? Shortly after we were married he asked when the “money meeting” was and I was confused by what he meant. He said “the monthly meeting about how your family money is spent.” I said to him that there is no family money, in fact, most of my family at the time was living off credit cards. He was enraged because my high school friend had said I was rich. I don’t know why she chose me to be “the rich one”, but later in life I met someone who told me that some times rich kids are taught to accuse others of wealth so that no one seeks there own family out for support for basic needs.
For context, Lord of the Rings was first published in 1954. I was born in 2002 and come from a long line of teen parents, and my great great grandmother was born in 1921 and got married for the first time in 1937. That's only four generations back. An average person whose ancestors were having kids at an average age would absolutely not have a Lord of the Rings ring for five generations.
To address the story about the inheritance. I feel very strongly about this. This woman is marrying a man and merging two families into one. This financial set up, is absolutely going to create a huge iimbalance amongst these children from day one. Those step children are going to be scarred. They are going to spend their childhood feeling inferior, angry, and slighted. I also simply disagree with her ascertation that she cannot provide for the stepchildren. 1- She set up the trust fund that she says is binding her hands together. She could change it if she wanted to. 2- I think she said in the original post that 50% of the inheritance is going to her daughter. That means she has the other 50%. She is in her own right wealthy right now. 3- Also, if OP had another child with this man, or with another man, Do you think she would share any of this generational wealth with the new child? By her posted logic, she would not. Because her grandfather was not close with her second child. If you are wealthy, and you are not willing to fully treat step children as your own children, then you should never date someone who is not wealthy. Or at the very least, you should not date someone that already has children. (Edited for clarity)
i didn't understand a couple things maybe due to typos? iDK but what i did get i totally agree with. they shouldn't be getting married if she needs to hoard her wealth//not share it w| anyone except her daughter. i think the question of how a new child would impact her decisions is super illuminating.
1:12:43 im sorry I’ve had family who have asked to borrow money they knew I needed for my own bills and swore up and down it was something for like their kids and then proceed to order hella takeout. This is a whole adult too. We came together and realized they were doing it to everyone because they simply don’t want to spend their own money. Also money watching $2000 is WAY different than money watching $50
First story...NTA and even though they're only 16 or whatever, i dont think they went far enough 🤷🏻♀️ and eff all them adults in that situation for allowing it
It sounds like the inheritance is the daughters not the mom’s and the mom is just providing for the daughter with that inheritance until she turns 18. So why should she provide expensive things to her step kids with money that is essentially not hers. The daughter should take a cut on her inheritance because the mom decided to marry someone with children? No. It would be different if the mom had made her own money and she now decided to change her will and put the other kids as well, but in this case the money was always supposed to go to the daughter and it’s not right that she should risk not having an inheritance because now it needs to be split between 3 kids. But I will say that the pony is a bit much, is that really necessary? Keep the inheritance 100% for the daughter but don’t treat her so differently from the others. Get a “family” pony, so even if it’s not the daughter’s pony, she’s basically the only one who will use it because she’s the only one who can ride and the others will lose interest eventually, but at least you didn’t show outward favouritism.
For story 3, just have to say I hate the excuses we we give to people. You’re an adult at 18, but still a child, okay…but 23? We all make mistakes but she should know they have consequences to deal with. If her mouth is writing the checks be able to cash them
I’d have a hard time letting my parents go to a food bank. I’d get them groceries somehow. It sounds like they’d become dependent on that extra $500/month from her. It was shitty/shady of them to ask her for money for the brother to go to the wedding. He’s not going to change and they’ll probably keep enabling him. But I wouldn’t let them go hungry 🤷🏾♀️
I’d totally agree with what you’re saying, but I just want to point out going to the food bank isn’t the same as going hungry. That’s literally why food banks are there so people don’t go hungry who are in a financial bind. It sounds more like an pride and ego trip on the parents end. They rather enable their child, which not only hurts himself, but their enabled child, rather than do the sensible and right thing.
With the first story it sounds like OP's mom let Lori take advantage of the affair to keep guilt tripping her into raising her grandchildren. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why Lori keeps getting away with things and why their mom and her dad don't try and step in. She needs to take control of that anger and put it somewhere more productive, not procreative
That guy who wants to redirect his money, should 100% do it because his daughter is a grown adult and should know better. And that Selena girls take was horrendous.
Re: Inheritance/Generational wealth. They are not married. The money is hers and her daughter's. NOT THEIRS. She wants to go into the marriage where they both contribute 50/50 with the inheritance separate for the future of the daughter. There is nothing wrong with that. It's not okay for the dad to be upset about the inheritance because he shouldn't have expected that when he proposed. He is already trying to dictate how she spends her money, he did not have a conversation with her about it he TOLD HER she COULDN'T DO IT. Which is crazy!
Legally she wasn’t obligated to give the ring back. The only way that would be necessary is if she broke off the engagement herself. For death or cancellation by the proposing party you get to keep the ring.
