#AITA 

Full story from reddit: I knew that he was going to go against my wishes and carry on with the proposal since, in the past, he’s caused a lot of drama at other family functions. So, I concocted a plan and showed a picture of Patrick to the live band that I hired for the reception. I even payed them extra, with the request to start playing should Patrick ever try to make a speech. I informed the other cousins about my plan, and they were all supportive since they knew Patrick’s antics all to well and were just as fed up with his ridiculous behavior. The day was finally here and Patrick arrived with his girlfriend and his parents. He was acting very cordial for once, but I was not fooled. After the maid of honor and best man speeches, I noticed Patrick getting up from his seat and making his way toward the stage. And just like that, the band started to play. I smiled, grabbed my husband, and rushed towards the dance floor. Everyone else joined in, and it looked as though Patrick’s actions went unnoticed. He made three more attempts, which were shut down immediately with loud music. Some of the cousins even blocked his path, telling him to “just cut it out.” He looked more and more angry as the night progressed, and eventually grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and stormed out of the venue. As I watched him leave, I laughed out loud, and had a blast for the rest of the night with family and friends. I woke up the next morning to more angry text messages and voicemails, which I ignored. I decided to not engage in the drama, and just enjoyed my honeymoon with my husband. So am I the asshole?

He didn’t even ask he just casually informed you that he was going to make your day about him and his girlfriend and when you said something he tried to gaslight you and so did your parents

I rmember this one. The GF later told the sister, that had he TRIED she would have told him NO because she was looking for a excuse to DUMP HIM, and a Stupid Stunt like this would have been the Final Straw.

NTA. This was YOUR special day and the fact that your parents didn't support that is just sad. So happy you found people that had your back when they didn't. That band said, "Target locked. We got you sis." And your cousins are real ones for having your back when your parents didn't. Glad you and husband got to enjoy your day.

Getting called selfish for wanting your wedding day to be about you is crazy.

My reception is not your engagement party.

NTA. You're a legend, to do ground control (with class) on your entitled cousin. And if his parents complain, just tell them he can propose on their anniversary. So, he can make it all about him, since they're enablers all his life.

If I was Op I would tell Patrick "proposal at my wedding? Sure no problem is going to be $30,000 up front I expect the money with in the next 24hours"" and record the conversation, and tell your and his parents that he agree to pay 30k for the proposal.

As soon as cousin announced his intentions to propose I would have informed him that he was uninvited.

“If you propose at my wedding, I’ll get pregnant at yours, right there on the floor”

He didn’t even have the balls to ASK instead he called to TELL…there’s a difference between asking and telling

I’m getting married in a few days. Me and my fiancé had a friend who is high drama. We suspected her fiance from America was going to do this. However, we no longer talk to them due to a separate arrangement. I’d be furious if someone did this. I’d personally escort them outside.

No he needs to use his own creativity and plan his proposal stop being a cheapie like it’s a rom com no it’s real life n weddings are to expensive to play with!!

YOU ARE MY NEW HERO!! I can just imagine the look on your cousin's face!! 😂😂😂😂😂

NTA- Awesome plan btw. This was YOUR wedding NOT Patrick. You'd would think Patrick would have gotten the clue. high-five

The cousin is hella entitled and i'm happy op didn't let him get his way and shame on the parents that sided with entitled ass

This was enough to make me love this possibly fictional stranger. She's amazing for this. Never feel bad for stopping someone from going against your wishes.

It's INSANE to me how people can be this entitled to time in OTHER PEOPLE'S weddings!

Nta, I love the plan you had and I’m glad it worked 😂❤

I hate the trend to propose at another person's wedding.

If you want to propose to someone on someone else's weddding youd better being paying for the damn wedding

Never propose at someone else’s wedding, it’s rude

It makes me so mad whenever I hear about proposals happening at weddings and it happen way to much given how rude and disrespectful it is

Intrusive thoughts no one should go through with... if they propose at your wedding when their wedding comes around stage a massive fight and "divorce" or announce a pregnancy/miscarriage. Again intrusive thought do not do it.

Aaaaand that's why I eloped 😂

You are not wrong

Ask him if he's planning to pay for your whole reception as his engagement party.

Reading the full story i love how it went down and it was AMAZING, NTA (obviously)

I thought the song you had asked the band to play if he tried to take the microphone was going to be "Your so vain"

This is someone who, for his entire life, has gotten away with deplorable behaviour. I say time for a reckoning! NTA

What is it with people trying to propose at others weddings like seriously

If he ruins your celebration ruin his proposal by publicly asking him to leave while he is asking her.

If someone wants to abscond with ur occassion, be sure to inform them that they will be paying for the event. A-hole tax so to speak.

If anyone even brought up that question to me they wouldn't be invited anymore

You already know -NTA ❤

Honestly all the people that texted her would automatically be uninvited for me

I thought she was going to ruin the proposal at some other place and he would come up with his own proposal idea.

Read the rest of the story and the bride had her backside covered. And all her cousins helped stop this selfish narcissist. It was her and her husband's day not this jerk. Hooray for the bride

I had a wedding proposal at my reception. I didn't care. I was happy to do it. I didn't need to be center of attention at every second. I can spare 10 minutes to do something for my friend. It didnt take away a drop of happiness on my wedding day. It made it even more memorable.

I wouldve juat uninvited him and have him escorted out if he shows up anyway

Me at first… Hell ya

he can propose to her after the wedding. take her somewhere romantic to continue the vibes and privately propose. never propose at someone else’s wedding

How dare you expect YOUR wedding to be about YOU. Joking of course

Nta that’s you and yo husband day. If yall didn’t have a problem with it cool but yall clearly wanted to be your moment and your day. Tell yo cousin to make his own day with his lady and yall can show up to support

That is a standard. You don’t out shine the bride. You don’t take away from the couple at their wedding. The fact that multiple people thought doing so was a good idea amazes me.

And that's how you un-invite people to your wedding. If they can't be adults and recognise the issue is your brother trying to make your special day about him, then all of them have to go.

NTA. You don't do anything to take away from the married couple. Plus, it's lazy AF. If he wants to propose, go make your own special day instead of riding of the coat-tails of another relationship.

What is wrong with people? Why do thye think they can do whatever they want on a persons Wedding? He can make the proposal somewhere else...

NTA! Absolutely NOT!

I would tell him he is not invited anymore honestly. He really will do it even if she said no.

I hate people who propose at other peoples weddings it’s rude and it takes away from someone else’s special day. It takes away the attention from the just married couple for someone who asked someone else to marry them. It’s really stupid. Don’t do it 🙄

The fact that your own parents defended him instead of you is insane

NTA. Let him make his own special occasion, he doesn't need to use yours. He didn't respect your 'no' so you had to take action to make him.

NTA I have cousins like that and I would’ve done the same thing if they pulled something like that at my siblings wedding.😂🎉

Well what you do is tell him if he wants to he pays for the wedding. And then make a contract if he does it at the wedding he's legally forced to pay!

Nta and i would have told his gf about what he had planed. This would have told you what she is really like

The ingrown hairs😭😭

Did your cousin contribute money that would have help pay for parts if your wedging? No? Then what business dies he gave doing this. If I was his girl friend, I wound have walked away because I’m this would have been embarrassing to me.

No I totally agree with you! He sounds very selfish!

Congratulations on your special day with your new husband. More so congrats on stopping your cousin. Shame on your parents for condoning his behavior.

No~

So what I think was no you’re not wrong because it is your day. It’s not his.

Remember. It's up to bride and groom. If they don't they don't. If they don't mind then you may

NTA- the only time it is acceptable for someone to propose at the wedding of another person is if the bride and groom have okayed it and they didn’t here. The family needs to stop letting Patrick take over events.

NTA. Send him an invoice for using your party for his use. Parties are not free. If he wants to propose during a party he can throw his own. Get at least 10% of the party costs. Or 25%.

I would have called his girlfriend and told her his entire plan.

He's going to make their marriage proposal anyway😢

Basic etiquette, never take the focus way from the person the day is meant to celebrate. Proposing at another person’s wedding is beyond tacky. It’s as bad as announcing a pregnancy at someone else’s baby shower.

If he did that I'd wait till his and announced I was pregnant

Hell no that was your special day your cousin had no right to do that he's the bastard here and your parents they're basically playing favorites the whole time

at their wedding announce your pregnant, see how they like it.

It's considered wrong and rude to propose at someones wedding without their approval, so OP is not in the wrong or the asshole

Nope. His parents are for not teaching him better. Ur cousins rock

NTA!! It's YOUR wedding!!! It is NOT supposed to be about your cousin and what he wants!!!

NTA, cousin sounds like a classic overt narcissist

Easy have a door list and hire a security guard. Give security his photo and ask the venue not to let them in or lock the doors. You know he's still going to do it

My birthday is just 2 days before Christmas. EVERY YEAR it came as a 'surprise' that people would never set aside time or money for to celebrate with me. There was always bad weather or a school recital or a company function or a Christmas family potluck, during which no one would remember. Even my close family- so I know how ignored and erased it makes a person feel for someone else to steal their thunder on a day that is supposed to be set aside to make them feel special. Im grown now so its not even about presents (which were ALWAYS a 'combined' Chrismabirthday gift anyway while other people got taken to the waterpark.) Just not being a. Complete attention hog because you cant stand to see anyone else get their day to enjoy.

Narcissist 💯

Not only is trying to steal the show like that in someone else's wedding a pos thing to do, but also public proposals like that are blackmailing. OP didn't just do right for herself but for her cousins girlfriend too.

Honestly wouldnt say yes if someone proposed to me at someones wedding like id rather be proposed to at home at that point

Could have disinvited him and his parents,you want people who support you and your wedding,which they clearly did not,but good for you,for that great idea.

You should only do that with the bride and grooms approval it’s scummy otherwise

I've seen brides and grooms get involved in proposals but if they say no just respect thei wishes...jeez. He's a character, I hope that girlfriend ran from him.

Absolutely not. He does not deserve to be allowed to do that. Have a groomsmen or 4 walk him out.

I don't care who you are proposing at somebody else's wedding/reception or engagement Dinner is bad form. Make it special on your own

not be a hole that's a tacky thing to do at somebody else's wedding

Should’ve immediately disinvited him. Or made him sign a contract saying he wouldn’t do it. If he’s not actually gonna propose, no problem in signing smth say u won’t, right?

Why cant he propose to his girlfriend on an other occaision? 🤔

Why? Why can’t people realize that you do not steal attention away from the bride and groom on their wedding day? Why is that so hard for them to understand.

Nobody should announce anything at someone else's event!

First of all who tf doesn’t ask permission first, he just Nonchalantly said he would, second I think when the bride and groom allow this it’s because their super close to the people like for example if my best friends partner said they wanted to propose at the wedding I would entirely but if it’s a cousin I don’t know, I don’t want to share that day with them.

He said that was what he was going to do? Didn't even bother to ask you politely? Screw him and the rest of the family. It's your wedding day and it's not about his spoiled self

Nope your wedding. Your reception and your money. Congrats.

I thought it’s common sense that the wedding is about the bride and groom and not some asshole who doesn’t know when the fuck to stop?

First, NTA. Second, it is selfish but everyone is completely entitled to being selfish on their wedding day as long as it's not unreasonable. This was a completely reasonable request.

There are 262 days in a year.

You are not wrong. I know someone who announced her pregnancy at her sister's wedding. Narcissism.

Why do people always want to do “ something special” on someone else’s dime?! A real man would arrange a special evening where he would propose to his lady not hitchhike off of someone else’s event. Unless the couple actively encourage the proposal to happen at their wedding event. I’ll never understand that entitlement.

The wedding is about TWO people The bride and the groom They need to find a compromise with each other Other people have only the right to politely ask for some accommodations in their meals Like if they are allergic or vegetarian or can't eat a specific type of meat doe to religious reasons. But aside from a very very severe allergy where even the neighbours peanut sauce could trigger them that's just specifically for them. Not demand that all fod is vegan in their say-so or something Of you're close to the couple you might ask if you can propose Some couples like that But a no is a no

Proposing on another person even or wedding is the trashiest and cheapest thing ever. Like seriously, if you can't even put the money, time and effort into planning and executing your own proposal to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with then don't bother. The bar is in hell and yet you're here trying to do the limbo with the Devil.