AITA for Wanting to Divorce My Wife of 12 Years because She Wanted to Cheat On Me? 

She cries in her room. If dad can hear, so can the kids.

Bro how is not loving her own husband not a problem??? That's literally the basic requirement of a marriage

​@Kraz4912 that depends on the nature of the marriage.

@@Kraz4912 Not only is that not true, for the vast majority of human history, it would have seemed absurd to most people. Marriage was always understood first and foremost as a business arrangement. The two people involved did even have to particularly like each other, they just had to be able to work together effectively as a team. It's well known, of course, that marriages among elites were for diplomatic or dynastic purposes, not love, but it was true for lower classes too that marriage was a business arrangement. That is still true today. And the fact is that most married women do not love their husbands and, indeed, cannot love them. You cannot fall in love with someone you are not attracted to, and most women find most men unattractive. One dating app did a study of its users and of how each sex rated the attractiveness of the other on a scale of one to seven. The men rated the women on a normal distribution, that is, a bell curve, with about forty percent of women being rated as fives, sixes, or sevens, and twenty percent, the plurality, as fours (average looking). Women, on the other hand, rated zero percent of men as sevens, two percent as sixes, five percent as fives, twelve percent as fours, and whopping 81% as ones, two, and threes, with the plurality, 31%, as twos. The simple fact is that most women find most men repulsive, and you cannot fall in love with someone you find repulsive. Granted, the people on a dating app are rating people they are not involved with, and, since people are more likely to marry people they are attracted to, there is probably some selection bias going on there. So maybe as many as fifteen or twenty percent of married women love their husbands. That still leaves at least eighty percent who do not. And that is not their fault. Love is not a choice. You fall in love. It is an involuntary emotional reaction. You don't control it. But you do control how you act. That is why I say disrespect from a woman toward her husband is intolerable: that is a choice. Sorry for the long reply.

@redrackham6812 No need to say sorry for the long reply it gave me an interesting pov on things thanks for that Now for the reply first of all being attracted to someone and being in love with someone are two different things. A normal woman (not the "modern woman" of today) marry a person who they can see a future with want to have a family together with and see their partner as someone they can get old with, this is the idea of being in love or loving someone if this basic criteria is not met it's not a marriage at that point even if you respect each other. It's not just about fulfilling your responsibilities of being a husband and wife it's also about you fulfilling them while you genuinely enjoy them doing with the one you love. Also if you love someone respect for them comes naturally. So basically the point is being married to someone whom u don't love is a Problem marriage is not just a duty to fulfil it's the bonding of two persons and families while being in love with each other.

​@@redrackham6812my god,, life isn't just random statistics, you can't base your idea of marriage and love off dating app statistics😂😂

Your right, he should have been a man about this and not given her a choice considering she is not adult enough to make choices on her own. Giving her the choice was definitely the wrong decision.

No that's the wife who spread how much she hates him and makes the man and the kids suffer with her toxic presence. She should leave but she is simply to toxic follow her words of hatred and leave.

You didnt watch the whole story did you?? The wife didnt want that, lmfao women are clueless af 😂😂😂

how can it be cheating if he is telling her to go do it. That's like saying it's stealing for taking something given out for free.

I doubt it, she hurt his ego and made him question her fidelity There's no trust in that marriage and from the looks of it, there was no love as well

wouldnt she have done it in these 3 years by now if she was actually going to?

@@VeryGoodDeals could be a ton of reasons. Her parents not okay just venting and thinking about cheating got them upset. Also she no longer has that cushion of a stable husband anymore and seems to be trying to obtain that for no reason other than thinking "I gave birth to his kids he can't possible keep hating me forever"

Bro, pleaaase. She doesn't give a f about him. She, like many others, just wants the stable guy that supports the family. She loves what he provides, not him. It's cold out there for a jobless single mom, especially one that is so rotten inside to say those awful things about her husband.

They are there so you know it's not made by AI

yup...

Did he not say English is not his first language at the beginning?

nah if he was heartless he wouldnt have sought the opinion of reddit in this manner

He wants a Divorce and she doesn't Why blame him when she won't compromise

Bro, take a chill pill and back up for a moment. You left out the part where he was 100% with her and constantly gave the divorce option. She chose this. Stuff it with this equal fault crap.

@@goneloko1368 no, the fault is not equal. but he will regret it once she took her life anyway.

Stop trying to whiteknight and make the women the victim​@@Zebrastreifen77

He gave her the option of divorce and even said she can sleep with others. The only compromise is that she needs to take responsibility

How's he the asshole? She started it

He gave her the option to get out. She made her choice, so no way is it OPs fault.