AJJ - Small Red Boy 

I think the small red boy is supposed to represent repressed feelings from a terrible situation and in the song, the person tries to accept and even encourages themselves to pay attention to the truth and their problems with it and what had happened, slowly they were improving as a person and learns to become better in life. They also comfort themselves when no one else did because no one else is gonna be there for you truly, other than yourself. Its such a beautiful song.

I saw them live the other day and they played this song and I sobbed the ENTIRE time like the adult man I am. Great show, I think Sean saw me crying.

this is the kind of song that i feel like i'm not ready to hear yet. does that make sense ? it's too much, emotionally. i need to prepare for that kind of movement, it's so impactful

dang i always get chills when the music begins getting louder and more intense

As a short native guy, i am a small red boy lol. Jk, but seriously, this song really helped me explain my strange connection to my culture, i was moved off rez as a kid to a real white town. I think my family was the only ethnic people to live in that town in decades, i think i saw a total of like 2 or 3 kids of color in my time of living there, and they didnt stay more than maybe a month if that. My family definently stuck out like a sore thumb with my mother, as dubiously moral as she is, continually teaching us our culture and having our shakers, bands, regalia, drums, etc decorating our home. I was young enough to really feel pressured by all the middle to upper class (no hate to the church folks) Christian Caucasian suburban kids and their judgemental parents. I cut my hair short, tried my best to appear paler, pretending that i was anything but who i am. Let me tell you, it was *exhausting*, having that lil red boy in me be rejected and ignored. Well I eventually grew out of that phase, learning to "undemonize" my mindset. I remember hearing how my traditions and beliefs were savage and hearing from a real devout kid that i was going to "burn in the hell fires" (yeah, it was a shocker to me too). My long hair were my horns, my skin while not literally turning red, was thankful for not getting plastered with pale lotion and returning to a not washed out color. Learning about my peoples history, how my personal history intertangles with all my views and everything, growing from hatred to knowledge and knowing what i need to do to make a real change. I became truth, i reborn into the person ive always been but with acceptance now

The small red boy is his soul, which becomes a hammer, and smashes the image of himself that he once knew, leaving only the truth.

MY SOUL IS A HAMMER

“My resentment blossomed flowers” such an artful line

After so many albums listening to Sean struggle with life, and even worse, feeling so related to those feeling, these lyrics get a whole new meaning. AJJ through their history have had tons of changes and they've grown up a lot, so thank you guys cause you've also helped us grow and overcome difficulties. New favorite AJJ song.

Everytime I want to listen this song i have to emotionally prepare myself.

baby: i-i-i- ajj: he's saying his first word! honey come here baby: *i am the truth*

im so high and i cant stop crying

watched them preform this song two days ago, everyone was completely silent and it was beautiful

I get literal chills up my spine when I hear this. Listening to AJJ play this in person was a religious experience. I have changed. My horns have grown longer and my skin has gotten redder. I've accepted myself, my evil and my failures. Thank you, AJJ.

I found a small red boy inside my tummy With 3 dollars in change and a Milky Way Lite In my occasional pursuit to find something more meaningful Than yet another word that rhymes with die I cut him out and put him on my table His shallow breathing chest would fall and rise His 'South of Heaven' shirt was way too big for him His horns were long and sharp and then he opened up those eyes That said "I am, I am, I am, I am the truth" I showered him with love and adulation One day he was just as tall as me I showed him all the books that I was raised on Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies And in a montage that could warm the heart of Hitler I raised him up so proud and motherly I swore that I was glancing in a mirror When in the language that I taught him, oh god, he began to speak He said "I am, I am, I am, I am the truth" "I am, I am, I am, I am the truth" And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector Broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker Of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures And I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost When I learned about the tragedy of all of us I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us Incorrigible illness in the loved ones hidden out of us I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us I walked through the hallway to a room of only mirrors Reflecting me in bondage so I watched myself get freer I let my horns grow longer, I observed my skin get redder My soul became a hammer, I started to feel better My hatred turned to pity, my resentment blossomed flowers My bitter tasted candy, my misery was power The truth in me grew brighter, my nature and my nurture No more shame, no more fear, no more dread I am, I am, I am, I am the truth

I personally don't see the small res boy as evil. I see it as the person inside of us who we fear who may not be as bad as they seem or not even be who they seem. Like when you hate yourself for something you're not and you dont know who you are, and something inside of you, almost like your inner child comes out and tells you how it is and who you are. It tells you the truth. And now knowing the truth you accept it learn to love yourself with all your flaws and for who you truly are.

This song is both powerful and relatable in a way that is difficult to describe. 100s of plays later and 3:54 still gives me chills.

"When in the language that I taught him, oh God, he began to speak... 'I am, I am, I am, I am the truth.'" Three and some years later, and I still get fucking chills at that line. Fantastic song!

Cool song. One day later: I AM, I AM, I AM, I AM THE TRUTH!

Powerful. This song makes me want to become a better person, thank you Andrew Jackson Jihad.

I am here. I love you. I placed this message just so you would see it. You are important. Even if no one tells you, it's still true. Everything you do changes the world of everyone around you. No one can do it but you. And I believe in you. Whatever it is, wherever your path takes you, i believe in you. No more shame. No more fear. No more dread.

This is such a perfect companion peice with cody's theme. It just fits so perfectly together having this more of an exploration of cody's mental state and how he personally sees himself being mostly a song of self reflection while touching on mental illness in the process

it feels like my soul just came

Such a perfect song.

whoever thought about bass boosting this towards the ending to represent that. You're a genius and deserve a raise.

can we get a music video for this one please

When I learned about the tragedy of all of us....

this was one of the most powerful songs I witnessed on a live show, as far as I can remember. hot damn

Im not sure I like this album, especially compared to the last two, but this song is one of my favourite AJJ songs. Very strong.

I always understood this song to be a tale about raising and treating you inner child they way you deserved to be when you were young. a way to heal and nurture yourself. to give yourself the happy, healthy childhood you didn't have but were worthy of having.

i was brought to tears

The Bible 2 is not my favourite AJJ album. It definitely strayed from their usuals. People Who Can Eat People is my favourite, Knife Man next favourite. I've listened to them for years - 2nd most consistently listened to band of mine. This is my favourite song now, truly and genuinely this is the best song they've ever written and produced.

every single time I listen to this I get chills and start crying

There are tears running down my face right now. Usually I cry over sad songs because it reminds me of bad experiences or because I'm imagining something that goes with it, but with this one it's like the song itself is somehow resonating with the emotion of anguish. It doesn't remind me of any particular thing. If you've played a string instrument, you'll know that - for example - playing E on another string will make the E string vibrate as well. It feels like that, but with emotions. I've listened to this song dozens of times now, yet every time it rings something in my heart.

is this what you stumble upon when you're high? I like it

Deep , made me feel things I had lost

Glad you made it. Realizing that things are okay is such a relief.

This song strikes the fear of god in me, a God denying atheist.

I get one thing out of every failed relationship in my catastrophic romance life. I knew when i got this song from them it wouldn't last long. Even though the most recent failure has only further assured me i will be alone forever, it was worth it for this gem.

i think the small red boy isn’t something evil or hateful but a representation of some kind of trauma? or maybe your inner child. people tend to blame themselves for the bad things that happened to them, i was abused as a kid and sometimes i wonder if it was my fault, but the truth is that i was just a kid. i was young and innocent and small, that’s the truth. you’re not to blame for your own trauma, the truth is that there was nothing you could have done to save yourself at the time. accepting this is the first step to achieving closure and bettering yourself as a person. or that’s just what i think lol

Not many songs give me goosebumps anymore but, ever after all these years this one still does.

Sometimes I forget this song exists and whenever I remember I run to listen to again cuz it hits so hard

MY ONLY CRITIQUE FOR THIS NEW ALMBUM IS THAT ALOT OF SONGS ARE SHORT

this is so fuckimg good im crying

i really believe this to be one of the most beautiful songs ever made. the buildup is ethereal, the ending makes me feel things i can barely explain

This album is very different... I like it.

Such a perfect, cautionary piece on that devil we all nurture inside us. One truth, one right, one good, one fight, no more fear. Until you are wrong, and you look around and see what you have hurt.

I just heard this song for the first time. I wish I was sitting down for the third verse. It goes ***impossibly hard*** in the best way.

RU-vid isn't counting views correctly because half of these are mine.

i love this song

"his throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures" his past literally eating him alive

I'm never ready for this song not completely. It's too powerful sometimes.

all in all i can say this is my favorite song, full stop. it makes me feel things that no other song has been able to and has a message that's hard to put to direct words. i love reading the interpretations to the song down here in the comments, because they've added so much depth to it. though my grammar's a bit janky and some of the words are simple, there's a lot of subtext and thought behind them that can't be fully conveyed the small red boy is "the devil" within you, all of that pain and trauma that builds up when you grow up raised in a christian or w/e religious household (and later leave) you're taught that the devil is the ultimate evil and you're given this icon of wickedness to point at as the source of all evil And then *people* mete out acts of wickedness, to you. small, big, it doesn't matter. Over time, layers upon layers of that wickedness sink into your soul to weigh you down. not necessarily corrupting you, but weighing you down into a miasmic murk that you've got to trudge through because you internalized that lesson of "the devil." and then you find that devil within you. You find yourself stealing a milky way light, giving into those things and-if we're holding true to the original lesson- damning yourself. so you tear him out, try to starve him, see him wearing the tattered memories of your past, see the wretched form before you... And you see the truth. It clicks with you, finally, all of the gears set into motion for you to *start to* understand the deep sonder that binds everyone together in this vast world. and then you start to question, you start to re-evaluate things. You look back on your life, on your formative memories; everything, and slowly you see that small red boy there in the mirror. And they speak to you, with your voice and visage: "I am the truth." Then you're hit with the existential crisis, everything everywhere becomes everything at once and you finally begin to understand that agony you've felt throughout your life-The ache doesn't fade, but you're learning to harness it. you happen upon the room of mirrors, finally willing to see yourself for who and what you are. You find yourself bound by the threads of all your worst memories, and with the lesson you've learned you can finally begin unwinding them. Merely giving the *hope* that you can be free of them is freeing, and you can watch yourself get freer. And you learn the truth. You are the truth. Your horns grow longer, your skin gets redder. You reconcile with the devil within you, commune with them, and finally you realize that there *is* no devil, there *was* no devil. You become one with that devil within you, *let yourself* give into it, and feel better. All that was wrong, you can now understand. You finally see that dark garden within your mind, that you never thought would bear any beauty, and it begins to blossom with flowers. The people you hated for so long for hurting you, you start to understand with this newfound insight that they're just... People. the resentment blossoms with flowers, letting that old pain be the shitty manure that fertilizes the flowers of hope. With hope rekindled, you can finally look back on those traumas and find the bitterness finally tasting sweet. And that fosters more hope, and more and more. And more. And eventually, it's time. The day comes where you finally "grow up," you can progressively keep looking back as you continue forward in your life and finally feel yourself exiting that mire of shame, fear, and dread. You no longer have to justify yourself to yourself, you are the only you that can be, in a world full of people who are the only people they can be. And the you that you are is *finally* the true you.

I will never stop loving AJJ

listening to this while coming down from lsa is fucking intense and I love it

Their best song. I know this album gets a lot of shit for it's production and straying from AJJ's traditional sound. And that's valid, I guess. But this album also has Sean's best songwriting. By a mile. It is AJJ's best album just on lyrics alone.

I remember listening to this song the first time, when I was in the psych ward. Good place to listen to this song ngl. At the end of my stay, I finally started feeling hope again, because man, that was a good psych ward... "My hatred turned to pity, my resentment blossomed flowers, my bitter tasted candy, my misery was power" That pretty much became my reality... I still struggle like hell, but it's gettig better.

Probably their best song, especially in context to the rest of the album.

One of the (many) things I love about this song is how it can be interpreted. It's obviously about mental illness, but is the progression about getting better or of getting worse? Lyrically, I think it's tipping it towards getting worse (my interpetation, anyway), but musicallyit freaking peaks with an awesome rave-up at the end. It is simultaneously both hopeful and super dark. He literally becomes a demon.Is the protagonist moving towards healthy acceptance or towards delusional power fantasy? Is this stepping back or stepping into? I'm currently watching The Boys S4 and Homelander is walking this path. Self acceptance of paranoid delusions is bad. The closing lyrics "no more shame no more fear no more dread" can mean both healthy acceptance or buying into your false delusions. Not all self-acceptance is healthy. Ultimately, I see it as a descent into unchecked madness. I can see how you could interpret it the other way. That it is a story of hope. Both are equally true.

I think this song is about "insert personal reflection."

i got actual shivers

i can't help but think that this song is about the trials of motherhood. which makes me depressed

you've hurt me a lot Sadie I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I loved you and looked up to you but you never cared about me you only cared about me when you wanted something from me. You never fail to abandon me when it gets just a little hard for you, yet I poured out my heart and soul for you no matter what. I loved you but not anymore.

To me the red boy is trauma and all the pain inside that people try to hide. A painful past that people try to forget but one they have to accept happened to move on. Idk that’s just the way I interpret. This song really makes me think about my trauma and how I have to accept my trauma and move on. It’s hard tho.

Got smacked with the holy spirit.

that whole last verse has slain me.

I know there's deep meaning but I will take all of this 100% literally

i heard this on KSPC 88.7 Claremont

Well uh, now i'm crying.

I had previously overlooked this song when it came out for years as The Bible 2 was nowhere near close to my favorite record of theirs. But in retrospect, this song is their absolute best written song. I may even prefer it to Big Bird. The whole record has actually grown on me now. But this is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.

My perspective about this song (As some AJJ songs have totally subjective meanings from the listener's experiences/personalities): This song is about growing up being a reject. you fall in love but they kept you as 2nd or 1 million-th choice. you never had any real friends either. you were abused and the world world stabbed you over and over. you have scars all over yourself given by everyone, to remind you that you are an unwanted trash. you can't sleep at night, you try to cry tears come out, but no sound comes out. you can't scream. you are lonely. the loneliness grew like a hollow inside of you that gradually grew bigger and bigger till it almost swallowed you whole from inside out. but in the end you have to free yourself from every single of those feelings. you are all alone and it is okay. IT IS OKAY. YOU ARE EVERYTHING YOU NEED. cause you are everything you always had. you are the truth. you are the god. it's time to accept it, embrace it, absorb it. Love yourself, only yourself.

Well God damn

Wow that was fucking powerful

3:45 is when shit gets real.

i see the small red boy as my trauma and how ive learned to accept it and take all the hate and rage that it built up in me and releasing it by helping people who need a little more anger. black lives matter. trans rights.

What a fucking tune

i think this is about parenthood and how you really can't tell how your kid is going to turn out but you love them anyway

the self-actualization song

HnSnkDkxGg my boy Engels was finally mentioned in a song

i cant like, listen to this and not cry, you know?

I think this song is about eating salsa

I miss you.

who the Hell was Tommy?

Voosh

People always say Bible 2 is shit and while it's different, still fucking rocks

Fuck yeah

This has Karkat Vantas (homestuck) vibes

Wish I could've been awake during the live from quarantine streams to let Sean know that he has touched my life in the most wonderful way through this album and in particular through this song. Accepting yourself can be incredibly hard. (Also is it just me or does this song feel like it's the transgender anthem for punks?)

kinda reminds me of eraserhead

Yay, I'm 1k! ❤

Zoe? Zo? From Minneapolis? It’s Kenny. My phone died☹️

Spewn

Alchemy magic

Damn I love me some ANDREW JACKSON JIHAD

i watched myself get freeer

....

Get Vaushed.

I just KNOW some of you are homestuck fans,,

what is up my fellow transvestites!

Andrew Jackson can get this jihad any time he wants if ya know what i mean hehe ;P -James