AKA #27 - Setting Boundaries With A Toxic Parent

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1. Is it possible to have depression, but not feel terrible? For me, I think I feel fine, but I can't seem to clean my room or take care of myself as well as I should, and I have...
2. Hey Kati, you know how we're supposed to set BOUNDARIES WITH A TOXIC PARENT. So I did with my dad. We barely...
3. Happy Thursday Kati! Can you talk about indecisiveness? Why do I have such a difficult time making decisions? Can this be...
4. Hi Kati! Could you talk a little bit about emotional flashbacks, how do you know if you’re having them, how intense would they be, how to recognize them in the moment and stop them? I believe that I have been...
5. Hey Kati :) Is it weird that I never feel proud of my accomplishments? I usually just think "thank god that's over" and feel relieved that everything worked out. I would love to...
6. Hey Kati, How do you stop feeling like you only deserve bad things in life? I have a lot of guilt and shame related to past abuse and PTSD, and I feel like I deserve the anxiety, depression, and isolation that I experience...
7. Hi Kati! How do you have difficult conversations without crying? Even when the conversation is completely respectful and calm, whenever I have a difficult conversation, it feels like my body just reacts by becoming tearful and my throat...
8. Hi Kati. Hope you're doing great. Can you talk about being unable to express feelings and rationalizing everything. I find it hard to...
9. Dear Kati, Intimate relationships have always been a trigger to me, probably because of the attachment system that it activates... When things happened, I might relapse and it's like I've...
10. Happy Thursday! Do I need to like my psychiatrist??? I have a therapist who I really like, but I’m not a fan of my psychiatrist. I trust him, and the medication he has prescribed has been helpful, but I dread...
12. Hello Kati! How can we deal with the grief that is never-ending? I have been grieving the emotional neglect I have experienced in my childhood but I feel like it never ends and creates resistance in therapy even though I am taking antidepressants. I feel very stuck and really really...
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Опубликовано:

12 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 79

@mjarkk 4 года назад

Time stamps: 1. 02:44 Is it possible to have depression, but not feel terrible? For me, I think I feel fine, but I can't seem to clean my ro.. 2. 07:18 Hey Kati, you know how we're supposed to set BOUNDARIES WITH A TOXIC PARENT. So I did with my dad. We barely... 3. 16:03 Happy Thursday Kati! Can you talk about indecisiveness? Why do I have such a difficult time making decisions? Can this.. 4. 22:14 Hi Kati! Could you talk a little bit about emotional flashbacks, how do you know if you’re having them, how intense .. 5. 28:53 Hey Kati :) Is it weird that I never feel proud of my accomplishments? I usually just think "thank god that's over" an.. 6. 34:16 Hey Kati, How do you stop feeling like you only deserve bad things in life? I have a lot of guilt and shame related to.. 7. 39:06 Hi Kati! How do you have difficult conversations without crying? Even when the conversation is completely respectful a.. 8. 44:48 Hi Kati. Hope you're doing great. Can you talk about being unable to express feelings and rationalizing everything. I .. 9. 51:49 Dear Kati, Intimate relationships have always been a trigger to me, probably because of the attachment system that it .. 10. 51:58 When things happened, I might relapse and it's like I've... 11. 57:20 Happy Thursday! Do I need to like my psychiatrist??? I have a therapist who I really like, but I’m not a fan of my p.. 12. 1:00:36 Hello Kati! How can we deal with the grief that is never-ending? I have been grieving the emotional neglect I have exp.. Please correct me if i'm wrong these are auto generated :)

@irena1222 4 года назад

Thank you!

@politereminder6284 3 года назад

Thank you!

@ThatOneNPC 4 года назад

I asked question 7 and felt so called out because I AM the person who cries at commercials😂 I find your advice so insightful and applicable (and scarily accurate haha). I'll really take your feedback to heart and start journaling more about my daily emotions. Thank you so incredibly much Kati!💕

@stoogey1 4 года назад

That last question hit hard for me. I've been grieving for over 32 years. My mom died when i was 9 and I still blame myself for it. It feels like its neverending. Then it got compounded from then to 13. Before I turned 14 I buried my mom, dad, grandad, brother, and my uncle. Literally my ENTIRE immediate family. Every time one of them died i blamed myself.

@treatmenice1564 4 года назад

I feel your pain, I'm going thru this as well and it's really tough.

@emmabeckett6451 4 года назад

Ooof. That sucks. I'm sorry this happened to you.

@haisesasaki3944 4 года назад

I can relate to the 2nd question. I have a toxic narcissistic mother and she never respects boundaries, but I'm gonna try harder this time. The thing for me is that I think of my stepmom as my mom because she was a saving grace for me. So I'll never feel that I don't have a son-mother relationship. ❤

@tarenleighton9392 4 года назад

I love the bear hunt analogy. I used to read/act out that book for my niece when she was little. Squelch squerch squelch squerch :)

@arwenelia 4 года назад

Follow up: I am the one who asked question 5 and tbh I think ALL the reasons you've mentioned factor into it. Plus the fact that I have these automatic thoughts along the lines of "this project shouldn't have taken me so long to finish", "other people are doing a much better job", "this should not have been so hard for me" etc Stay safe x

@AdamKing60 4 года назад

Your AKA's have been so helpful/relaxing. I don't feel excited by the things I used to and trying to build my business has been an incredibly frustration process. I am so forgetful, my energy is so low/limited each day and I just feel so frustrated with how I have been feeling. I try my best to get any amount of work done each day. Dishes, showers, regular house cleaning, paying bills and a lot of other normal everyday tasks get put on the back burner, sometimes for weeks (not the showering or dishes part). Anyway, I have severe indecisiveness. I want to do everything at the same time, but a fraction of any of the planned tasks that I would like to accomplish get done. I feel like I have been more emotional lately, when in the past I was never really bothered enough by anything to even tear up, or it was rare. I was just laying here just listening to this video/podcast and I started to tear up while thinking about how I have been feeling and I am "so unkind/hard on myself". Random things set off my tears. Last night "My Way" by Frank Sinatra randomly came on the radio and it made me think of my dad. He is still around, but he just turned 82 years old a couple weeks ago, while I am only 35. I just try not to think about his age. If you read my entire rant, thank you.

@danaak668 4 года назад

IVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS VIDEO!! Absolutely LOVE your podcast!!!

@fatimaaltamimi6448 4 года назад

Samee

@kristinakomarova7555 4 года назад

Same here lmao.. There were so many great questions I was so excited 😁😁

@sbsasser 4 года назад

Just caught the WMMA episode! It was awesome! can’t wait to see more of your content !

@T.Beattie89 4 года назад

The title is what has been on my mind since I first talked to my counselor about it last week... You listening in on me, bruh?

@alihayman3834 4 года назад

so relate to the toxic parent and setting boundaries :( my "dad" is verbally and emotionally abusive

@nikkimckay860 4 года назад

Hello is anyone else only just watching this new podcast up late feeling honestly depressed also I'm unwell right now also makes my mood bad but still always want to watch kati even when it's not live hope you are all ok in the comments checked out the question s very helpful and important information for everyone no matter what you suffer from when I'm sad or stressed or very depressed watching kati s podcast always make me feel calm less sad and stressed been following these podcast for a long time love them take care everyone

@nisafinnegan 4 года назад

yupyupp the themes! as much as it sucks, its sort of comforting to know that we're all kind of struggling together.. goes to show that we're never really alone :)

@puppys8998 4 года назад

I moved today and this came just in time to help me feel more grounded and less anxious 💕

@masbro9540 4 года назад

Hi Kati, I hope you are well! I just wanted to thank you for this podcast and your videos, they have helped me so much and I finally got the courage to ask for help and I started seeing a therapist last week for the first time. In my first session my therapist asked me to write down a sentence or a word for how I'm feeling, every morning and night until our next session and I'm struggling so much with it, I feel like it has taken over my week. I think about it constantly and so far I've only filled in a few since I really struggle to identify what I'm feeling. I feel like for most of the week, unless I'm feeling a really strong, negative emotion I just feel nothing? Will my therapist get annoyed if I leave spaces blank? I dont want her to think I havent tried when really this is all I've thought about all week. How have I never noticed that I mostly go about my days feeling numb? I'm sorry, this isnt even really a question and it's extremely long winded! I just wondered if you could give me some insight into this. Thanks again ❤

@abby_elizabeth8435 4 года назад

HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE!!!! I hope everyone has a beautiful day! Remember to take space to breath and nourish your body and mind❤️

@its_my_my 4 года назад

Why does the title of this video seem like a read 😂 I’m looking forward to hearing more about setting boundaries. I’m also working on questioning my anxiety (fear of making someone angry, so making myself small or worrying how they will be affected be me) that seems to be caused by my childhood experience of being afraid of causing my dad to get angry (which sometimes turned dangerous for my mom and I.) I’m hopeful I cam continue to provide “alternate” realities I can explore instead of worst case scenario. Big hugs from Oregon... also suffering from fires! 😭

@raywood8187 4 года назад

I'm sorry if it feels like you are living on Mars right now. The sky in places looks like the red planet. I like your idea about the wallow timer. A bootstrap puller upper might be helpful too if I can find one.

@general-all3317 4 года назад

You could say next week we'll have the first podguest.

@kaydeebug24 4 года назад

I was just thinking that the new Ask Kati Anything should be out soon so I checked my phone and you just uploaded!! 💜 Thanks Kati!

@killthedreampony 4 года назад

I love your glue stick lip balm

@kavleenmarwah4373 4 года назад

Had a long day, didn't even realize today's Thursday and found the notification as a surprise 🥰

@pocketsizegirl 4 года назад

I look forward to your podcast every Thursday 🥰

@TMTgirl 4 года назад

There are amazing Psychiatrists out there. They do exist. I would recommend mine, but he's semi-retired and no longer taking new clients. But shout out to Dr. Pastor Colon in St. Paul, MN.

@mysonrando7789 4 года назад

You need to use a charcoal filter to clean chemicals out of the air, filters clean particles and ionic pros kill germs and stuff. Charcoal is great at absorbing fumes and chemicals

@Em99957 4 года назад

Boundaries!! Exactly what I needed to head about

@henrylewin7677 3 года назад

I don’t think that using words like “toxic” is particularly responsible or empowering when dealing with parents who are really quite similar in many ways to ourselves... further, I think it propagates division and is part of a sort of “new speak” where people are labelled as toxic, written off etc. Which is very attractive to someone wishing to play the victim. I write as someone who had believed for some time that they had a “toxic” mother. I was able to work through why I felt that way with her, which was lucky as I understand some people’s parents wouldn’t be so generous as to have that real conversation with their child and that I am lucky in that respect. I see my mother as a hero today, after having those tough conversations and finding compassion for her. I get that “toxic” may have been a device to garner views, though I don’t think that sort of language will stay for long as we become more aware.

@haisesasaki3944 4 года назад

There are huge terrifying fires near where I live. We're so scared.

@mayacheyenne1993 4 года назад

Omg I bet and hope the upcoming guest is Mommy ‘Tina! 😍👖👖

@lexyscar1173 4 года назад

The intro is so inviting i love it. Stay safe Katie 💖

@catherinefriedman8511 4 года назад

stay safe, sweetie!

@Kolan_Koala 4 года назад

Sounds like our fires in Australia earlier Kati. Drought. Bushfires, Pandmic, floods, crazy lockdowns.The year that keeps on giving yay 2020. KM yore the best. PTSD is mine I own it. Kati the best! Thanks!

@lorilo5214 4 года назад

Crying at the wrong time - so relatable. I guess now I know why I cried even when I was laughing. Damn that was annoying, couln't stop, everybody was asking if I was ok and I didn't even found the things I laughed about funny at all... Talking about my issues was really a cure for this - after releasing everything I've stuffed up for years I almost never had this issue again. Our mind is so complex, it's overwhelming!

@lynnn7465 4 года назад

Love the podcast. Side note the sound is so clear and crisp, can you provide the type of microphone you have and do you like it?

@SusieQ78 4 года назад

And I thought my indecisiveness was coming from the fact that I'm a "middle brain" person lol.

@wolfferoni 4 года назад

I'm someone who gets tearful at everything too. I used to get frustrated at it because it didn't make sense, especially when I cried when I was angry, but I've told myself that crying is my body's way of letting go of stress because I'm so overwhelmed. I also feel like whenever there is some sort of conflict or argument, especially if the other person raises their voice, I go back to when I was a child being yelled at by my parents so I guess my body assume that's going to happen again, a learned reaction I guess. My parents never talked about emotion in a positive way, it was always negative. Anger was fine (if anything there was was too much anger) but if you cried, you were called a "sook" or "too emotional/ sensitive" even though anger is an emotion. I've journaled for most of my life because I need to vent but it's not enough. I guess this is where therapy comes in.

@Sillygoose24795 4 года назад

I have insomnia, but this made me so relaxed that I actually fell asleep for a while without medication!

@danieljgore1 4 года назад

Quick note: talk to your therapist about how you feel about your psychiatrist. S/he will probably have more insight and it can be an entry point for talking about the feelings of dread

@Kiky812 3 года назад

I grieved about the relationship with my mom a while ago but I still find myself bargaining sometimes...I have to focus ad go back to my detached mentality otherwise I get entangled again ... But yes, it's sad.

@kerrylarmand6301 4 года назад

Fuckin love this topic...fuckin love that you covered this Kati...

@jczero3996 4 года назад

I normally do what I say and say what I do. But yes I always wanted honesty. I am male, but I wanted a fairy tale ending, finding a wife but I put people on pedestal. (No honesty, lies, but so long) If I was perfect, she wouldn't hurt me, I'm a man I should be stronger (that just makes it worse). Thank you for your advice! Now I am scared, I get smiles and no no no no no. I am working on that.

@fatimaaltamimi6448 4 года назад

2020 is the worse i cant believe im in this time today but stay safe kati

@nikkimckay860 4 года назад

Fatima Altamimi. Hello I like your comment and completely agree with what you wrote 2020 has been the worse year compared to years before the corona virus being the main cause nice to meet you here kati s great

@fatimaaltamimi6448 4 года назад

Nikki Mckay yes! Thank u have a nice day and year as well sending much love ❤️

@katianalytic215 4 года назад

My brain, my mind and my heart is just SO MUCH full of all the uncomfortable memories, emotions and feelings and I feel like they are overflowing me anytime, but don't know where to start from and how to describe, and who to ... hence, I tend to bottle them up and just keep them locked in - and that's torturing me bit by bit .....

@ElinorRigby 5 месяцев назад

I will cry for a cat, I will cry for a hat, I will cry at commercials, I cry for ducks and talks and turtles, I cry overthinking, I cry just for blinking, Though it is not always great, I accept; my eyes precipitate 😂

@amytennant6273 4 года назад

Hi Kati, Thank you for all you do!! You’re videos have helped me so much. Please would you talk about how to set boundaries and ‘deal’ with a toxic sibling... I know you talked about some family issues and boundaries last week but how do I deal with a sibling like that? I have to see at school( on Monday) and I’m really hurt by everything that she’s done. (Ps: She hasn’t been home in 5 months, she struggles a lot with Mental Health but she isn’t trying to change. We’ve tried family counseling but she decided to drop out of that....and it’s been hectic at home) I am getting professional myself but considering you talked on a similar thing last week I thought I should ask. Please help! Lots of love x

@aidis138 4 года назад

If you upload short videos specifically for questions instead of post, there's a way to sort comments by likes with help of "youtube-comment-suite".

@katlynlanni9089 4 года назад

Very helpful

@elizaneja 4 года назад

I have a question, how do i deal with homophobic family?

@stpresley42 4 года назад

emotional flashback to me sounds like emotional PTSD. I have known someone who when put in similar triggers to the way her sister made her feel as a kid.

@HyperionHQ 4 года назад

❤️

@ThelPic 4 года назад

I began to think I deserve all the bad things that happened to me cause there's not someone guilty for those things. They are deaths in the family and friends, and health issues, mine and others. Nobody did something to me. The only common denominator in all of this disasters is me.

@hollie1237 4 года назад

There’s 12 questions in the description but she only answers 11??? 😂🤔🤷🏼‍♀️ Love ur videos though!

@emmabeckett6451 4 года назад

I thought the same thing, then I realized number 10 in the description is just a repeat of half of question 9! 🤣

@naamadina7655 4 года назад

11 is missing in the description. It's written as 10 and then 12.

@emmabeckett6451 4 года назад

@@naamadina7655 They edited it since I watched 😀

@pipersecretp3 4 года назад

Damn, top 10.

@alihayman3834 4 года назад

where do I send in my questions? I am wondering if it's common to be emotionally drained and exhausted from being in recovery from self harm and healing from trauma?

@scenepunk09 4 года назад

On her opinions that dont matter channel on the community tab she asks weekly to post questions. I think she usually asks on mondays.

@mimibelta259 4 года назад

Remember it’s ok not to be ok , please listen to ok not to be ok by Marshmello and Demi Lovato

@amandac7238 4 года назад

Where can you ask questions at?

@katlynlanni9089 4 года назад

Blockbuster indecisiveness 🤣 so not attractive

@kelsieskiles2412 4 года назад

first 🤗

@meganeisnor-janosz3061 4 года назад

early squad

@DanilaPit 4 года назад

i like beer =)

@thehardcolfax 3 года назад

I wish mytherapist was more detached. 😆 want to trade?

@HyperionHQ 4 года назад

13:22 “Wait a year if you have socialized medicine” umm... not true. I’m sorry you feel you have to trash talk universal healthcare. Whoever thinks the US currently has a better system is largely maligned.

@ashley-8612 4 года назад

I don’t think it was meant to be trash talk.

@emmabeckett6451 4 года назад

It's not trash talk. I know some people from Great Britain who've said they've been on year-long waitlists for help. It's just a fact (for some people not everyone)