I find the expression, 'Everything that is said in the meeting and member to member must be held in confidence.' which is included in the suggested welcome, available online to the public, to be a wonderful gift of trust from Alanon. Also a huge responsibility.
A very nice welcome. When we have newcomers in the room we focus more on helping them to acquaint themselves with us and the program (more than just reading the usual intro.) Helping others in a godly way helps us heal. Listening and sharing helps too, of course. Of course if you're not miserable enough you're not likely to do all that it takes to really heal . . .
My dad is a veteran in the army he has PTSD and he is an alcoholic he has been for 3 years he has been to rehab countless times but nothing works he has been to AA meetings so much but nothing works honestly alcoholism tears families to shreds at points to where you can't do anything but learn that if they don't want help nothing will change. im 14 and i like to think im fairly intelligent. i have learned two things in the past 3 years, there are roles that family members play in the family of alcoholics, i was the "hero" i used to think i could play peace maker and help everyone from this disease but unfortunately it seems to be a fantasy i feel like its hopeless it hurts me to dark times i feel anger, guilt. depression has had its grip on me many times, but im staying strong. another thing i have learned is things can be forgiven but never forgotten.. but i feel a message from god was sent to me and it said the darkest nights make the brightest stars. alot of people don't know what i go through because i dont show it but i promise if they did they would have a whole new perspective on me. i just dream that one day my father, my once hero will no longer be the guy who gets drunk and passes out every night, i dream i will no longer think what the fuck are you doing dad open your eyes, i will be able to be a proud son a feeling of love a feeling of warmth to know he got better and he is sober, to know he can be my hero again is all i ever want for him. (if you have any advice or any knowledge on what to do please tell me, help me and my father god bless)
please search for God love he is there for you. Keep praying that one day your dad finds God these are his demons hes battling and only he can search for help.
Your dad may have what is called Moral Injury. It gets lumped in with PTSD and is very difficult to treat because talking about events makes the person feel worse. It helps for the person to "pay it forward" and start doing acts of good deeds to out weigh the horrible thoughts in the prison of the mind with Moral Injury. Just stick with Al anon for yourself and find the love and compassion with detachment to take care of yourself. I figured out how to thrive after my war experiences that left me disabled with Moral Injury.
I Thank God for AA and Alanon. I loved the way we get Obsessed with The Alcoholic. The Lion in the Cage. That was Me with My Daughter who is the Addict.. am in AA 19Years and was Emotionally Mentally Physically SPRITUALLY EXHAUSTED WITH IT. I HAD TO GO TO BED FOR A FULL DAY. HOW CRAZY I Can be. Why not Let GO & Let GOD. I SAW MUCH NEED ALANON AND AA. 🏴💖🙏🌹😍🙏
I'm sober 20, 6 months, I'm struggling with the one thingS , I knew in the beginning, that If I stay sober, and stick around in A.A. meetings, was going to funerals, One of the last alcoholic funerals, she took her life. It tore my heart out and faith in god along with it. so back to al-anon, it took me back to a 4th step in Al-Anon, I'm working at it, and is far from easier to just go to A.A., but I need to face the facts, that I need More then just A.A., I NEED both of them to help me maintain a Recovery Program.
+joe draper ... they are really the same program, so it's better if you stay with AA since you are in recovery. Al Anon is for non-recoveries and AA is for recoveries. It's best if you stay with like-minded people for correct support. It should not be mixed which is why there are "closed" groups as you know.
just what I needed to hear; my Mom has been spinning for days & trying to get me on her merry-go-round. The first poke I deftly handled, the 2nd poke I got annoyed, the 3rd poke I was ready to lay into her but prayed & sent her a wise quote, which she turned into a snide comment...hahaha! She is never going to change, she is psychologically damaged, and my serenity is more important. I wonder if it's harder with parents or kids?
Gabisan70 it's hard with parenrs because we want them to change and love us like they should but maybe they aren't capable of that and that's why we have alanon. we learn how to live (our) life instead of theirs.
No, you accept that you are powerless over the alcoholic, you cannot get inside his/her head, reprogramme his head and reprogramme his behaviour.. Once you accept this personal powerlessness, then you are asked to believe IN A POWER greater than yourself. Just keep attending Al-Anon, and watch how the others change in their outlooks as a result of accepting a power greater than themselves and practising the rest of the 12 steps on a daily basis. God bless.
+LeBrons22: No, just to be willing to believe in a power greater than yourself. You decide yourself what God entails for you, or if you don't want one, - some use the Al-Anon group as their higher power. I know one man who used a big, old Oak tree. Don't worry, you'd find something suitable for you.
No alanon is not a religion or cult. It's a program with simply 12 steps, available to anyone affected by addiction/alcohol in a friend or family member.
You learn to focus on yourself, you can control another person, you cannot cure them, and you didn't cause their issues. I learned I dont have to own or carry their chaos as a burden, their urgencies are not my emergencies. I had to get myself healthy physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I am happier, I am the best person. I choose to be me, without reacting or trying to fix everything, Let it go, be free, reduce stress, so much more!
+Lori H: I wonder how you feel unwell from the jokes and that they would be self righteous. The speaker is not the program itself, nor is the audience. We are all just human beings working on our life paths. I myself don't feel him as an Al-Anom´n, but as an AA speaker. MAybe yoyu'd feel differently if you went there and gave it a chance. Things happen inside (POsitively), one leaves what one dislikes and takes what resonates. I appreciate his talk, even though it's not QUITE my cup of tea. I prefer a deeper, more qúiet, sensitive, humble way of talking. But it's good for me to hear different kinds of ppl's ways of being and living with the program. peace
