ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES (Zero Punctuation) 

+psiscrazy That sounds horrible!

LOL That sounds like a game I want to design where the main menu is a really awkward QTE that crashes your computer if you fail.

Task Manager...?

When I read your comment, I was reminded of how I always visualized purgatory

Oh Jesus

+SamVision Even the alien realized that this game is terrible and decided to ditch it

Both of these comments are fucking gold

+Dickbut the buttdick I need to play this game

I think the xenomorph was trying to get out of the game anyway it could.

Draegon Manaka I played the game recently. I can say that with 100% certianty it turned my friend into an alcoholic.

I scratched my disk, and it replaced an NPC marine model with an alien model, but still with marine textures. Creepy as fuck.

+modwlego Please tell me you have pictures lmao

+Orcaman15 XDDD holy shit thats great also +modwlego PLEASE send pictures if you have them XD that'd be awesome to see LOL

+Orcaman15 The game briefly mutated into Doom

Killer Orca genius! Who needs limited magazines when you could have an infinite magazine! Only 9.99 and a hint of SPAM along with the head of a half eaten tortoise!

Ahh, the poor buggers wanted to be Wallmasters

Source?

@@kaimerry1587 In the PecanEngine.ini file, the word "tether" is misspelled at one point as "teather", breaking some crucial parts of the aliens' AI. Source: I don't know where I originally read it, probably on Ars Technica, Reddit, or some other site. However, if you google "aliens colonial marines typo", you should find several articles with more information.

How does said typo break it?

@@naturegirl1999 From my understanding, the typo caused a certain bit of code to not run (because the typo in the script made the game look for a function containing "teather". That function didn't exist, since the real one used the correct spelling of "tether", so nothing happened). The bit of code that failed to run controlled things such as making the Xenomorphs perform flanking maneuvers, as well as telling them where the exits to a given space were (allowing them to use vents and such for maneuverability). Obviously, that doesn't solve the many other issues with the game, but it definitely had an impact on the AI.

Reading this is making me laugh

+flyingfish60 xD AI fuck ups, gotta love em(sarcasm)

What really happened was that one alien was intimidated by your awesomeness.

Ben Miller :^)

If that thing is highly evolved that Charles Darwin didn't ever have a beard!

Yeah, I hate when that happens too.

volkswagenginetta it was beautiful i just felt that was an appropriate response...

i can't believe it took me more than 2 minutes to figure it out... lol

Man, this jokes aren't cool. You can shake the hearts of people with that.

Augusto Konrad that was weak

Augusto Konrad A+ for intentions to keep the laugh train going a d+ for execution. i got the joke, but that is about it.

pwnzor670 This comment made my xenomorph loving self very happy. 10 points to pwnzor

I see what you did there sir/madam. I applaude you.

To be fair though.. The Bughunt DLC is pretty fun to mess around with

ha ha

ha ha

ha ha

ha ha

ha ha

MasterCharlie104 I never actually beat the queen. my motion tracker would beep everytime I went for the second panel.

Then again, what part of the game didn't they fuck up?

My favorite bug was when the game crashed. Because then I didn't need to play it any more.

Goblin Rat well, the biggest reason for people disliking it, is because its not quite the alien game, that was promised, along with a series of bugs(which have mostly been fixed by now) and because the trailer showed us a beautiful DirectX 11 world, with amazing graphics, which was released as a DirectX 10 game instead, which made the game look bad. i like the game, mostly because its an okay shooter game, sure the ai is not really a threat like in most other games, but i generally like shooter games, and the weapons are well done, though the sound and a few animations REALLY need some work. but hey, every man or woman his or her opinion. the only thing im really happy about, was i did not pay for it, as i was out of money when it was released, so i pirated it, and was dissapointed, but happy. just hope i can at some point get the DirecX 11 version to work(as its online, but it crashes for me)

That sounds like $60 worth of glitch right there.

i watched something similar happen in gears of war 3 with the corpser in berserk mode blocking the doorway

lol

That must suck

What with Isolation revitalizing the series, I doubt anything like that will happen for another decade or so.

Jailen Kurimuzon you what to know what is sad, i have a friend who actually likes this game

Steve Jobless Haha, rip in pieces.

Steve Jobless Given how funny some of the bugs are, it might be in a kind of MS3TK way.

Jailen Kurimuzon Either you live under a rock or all of your friends and family have shielded you from the outside until Alien Isolation is no longer a best seller.

What could top it? A smoothie maker?

Turning off the console with a smoothie maker.

Neenjah Rammus, I think I brought it for a laugh, I think I can't remember.

+Sir Taco Master Highlights this and Ride to Hell Retribution, I just love how gleefully he talks about it

yeah alien swarm looks like alot of fun! im downloading it right now. i still think back to playing colonial marines and how i preordered it and everything. makes me sad. such a let down. but... thats how it goes.

I know I'm a bit late to the party but, I will second that. It's an excellent game and it's free to play. Fun fact: It was also the concept design for Left 4 Dead. The story goes that it was so completed that Valve decided that it should be released on Steam once they hired that studio to help develop Left 4 Dead. In a way it was their application to join Valve. It showed off their ability to support a released title. :)

there's a raven boss? is that what that empty room was, a boss room? cuz if so than I just skipped it all together.

Well Alien Isolation would have to fall squarely in that first category. It all depends, I suppose. But I they are trying very hard to make something that is, at the very least, engaging. We'll probably end up with a high budget Amnesia clone. Not my cup of tea, personally, but I think a lot of people will like it.

Your metaphors sound like Yahtzee's. A+ man.

Kalo Kertesz Thanks, I think, lol.

***** What'll happen is either Isolation is really good and barely anyone buys it because of the Colonial Marines incident or it's really shit and lots of people will buy it because of great marketing.

***** Yes! Isolation is a great game. Perhaps a bit slow at times and the invincibility of the xenomorph can be frustrating at times but otherwise solid. The game is truly chilling and made for a perfect Halloween release :)

I'd rather them be at EA than stay with SEGA or go to Activision. SEGA would put them to work on Sonic, Activision would have make nothing but CoD maps, at EA there's the chance (even if small) that they could get put on the Mirror's Edge 2 team or something else actually worth their time. Just sayin'.

Maybe a splitscreen co-op to chase down the Blues Brothers through an open world, with all your friends trying to find some way to slow down and eventually take down the nigh-unstoppable car on a mission from god. If you get bored of the police, you can switch out to national guard, firefighters and neo-nazis.

^ Someone, please, make this happen!

Vyktor Dreygo ATTEN-HUT!!!!

Any of the burnout games I think ...

You do understand the police in that movie were only there to set a world record for most cars (& cop cars) destroyed in a single movie, right?

is that a slack bladder quote by any chance

I like blackadder

Fact. Excellent comment

I thought perhaps it was a reference to Sam Rockwell.

I thought serious Sam's last name was stone...

+Bennings how the fuck did this game get dlc?

+Bennings Doesn't fucking help that there is actually a character naimed "Sam Stone" in the books.

***** If I was him I wouldn't be a master-at-arms, I'd be up-in-arms over having my name associated with a sub-quality product. I'll see myself out.

Mine when the game gave me a wedgie.

Mine was when I never played it. and is never going to

Mine was when I launched the game, and it launched a nuclear missile that should be hitting Russia any second now.

Mine was when the alien did the can-can.

Mine was when the game disc and my CD Drive had an exponentially escalating disagreement about who was more relevant in this newest decade that climaxed with the CD Drive deciding that the best way to sort everything out was with a high-speed rotary stress test. The CD Drive spun the game disc so hard and so fast that upon reaching PLAID levels of velocity, the game disc shattered into a million pieces and shredded the CD Drive (and other nearby portions of my tower) like a fragmentation grenade thrown into a house made of Styrofoam. In conclusion, this taught me a valuable (if oft forgotten) lesson about maintaining the moving parts in my computer as well as never buying any game until about a month afterwards, and when numerous Let's Plays and critiques have been posted onto RU-vid for my perusal. A $59.99 videogame forged of lies, shoddy coding, and overpowering levels of sheer fail wound up costing me another $100 or so in order to clean up the mess. Also: fuck pre-ordering. Unless you value the devs that are creating it, pre-ordering serve you nothing as no copy of the game, physical and especially downloadable versions, will run out of inventory in any store a month into its release. Plenty of time to do research on it prior to buying.

That's what they said about this one.

Anon No, they said "it was the sequel we wanted but never happened" the dev team for Isolation said NOTHING close to that pretentious, they merely said that they ATTEMPTED to truly capture the feel the original film gave us, and from the trailers, that looks so goddamn true

it's pretty good. i liked it :D

Too bad it's being developed by Creative Assembly.

McPepsiTwistKing They've had a damn good track record so far, well, all except Total War Rome II, and if you see the diaries or gameplay videos of the game, it looks *incredibly* well done

Get out.

You sad fuck.

I see it as white and yellow as well!

The Fallout Fan243 I see blue and yellow *cough* fallout jumpsuit *cough*

I'm looking at gray and gold.

RIP

+NetherStray which its actually harmless to humans

Undead Will Anything is harmful to humans if you dump enough of it on them.

NetherStray yes just like water. You can die from drinking too much water.

Confusing Cube If you drink too much water, you start to lose necessary salt and other needed nutrients in your blood stream.

Confusing Cube yup

That sounds great!

lol

Third comment I saw about Canaan’s. What are they?

+Nocturne nice Profile pic I love Franken fran

Some people still haven't learned that lesson.

And then, boom. Alien: Isolation.

Caleb Swinson Agreed. It's got its glitches, but all in all, I liked it.

Caleb Swinson Except the story sucked in that one anyway. Oh wait - nobody gives a damn about stories in video games, even if the story was crucial to the Alien mythology.

***** I have no idea what you're talking about, the story was great.

Caleb Swinson It's almost the same shit that happened in the first Alien movie.

I didn't like his Halo 3 review, maybe it's fair to just say I disagreed with it, but I really loved that game, and it was crossly reviewed. I didn't feel as if it was reviewed...well, ya know? Still, even if I didn't like the review, I still loved the video. the guy's brilliant.

When you say that, ZombiU comes to my mind. However he spent half the video bashing the Wii U, so I didn't quite catch his final verdict about the game itself.

My favorite glitch is where aliens get stuck in complicated scenery and start having seizures.

i love that glitch

My favorite glitch was when the game didn't work at all, so now I don't have to play it!

Aliens with jazz hands. I say no more.

jazzy aliens

It wasn't even a value error, it was a typo. There is a line of code that is supposed to define the area of play that an entity can move around in. Because they misspelled one word and didn't catch it, there was no definition of the playable area. So all the enemies would freak out and act very stupid because they weren't 'looking' for the vents, the cover, and all the other stuff in the environment. It was all one big massive open sandbox as far as their AI brain logic was concerned.

Looks amazing. They've touched upon the essence of what makes a great Alien game by the looks of it.

I'm cautiously optimistic. I've noticed that the hype-cycle for Aliens games is starting to mirror that of the last decade of Sonic games; game comes out and is terrible, but as soon as they show a trailer for the next thing, everyone is excited again, repeat.

Reminds me of Amnesia in space with an Alien.

Honestly? Even if they make it as good as they say. I don't think I would be scared, I have killed so many aliens in so many games I just don't think I could find them scary anymore.

Man, I was invited to test-play the beta for the game in Australia, & I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SCARRED IN MY ENTIRE GODDAMN LIFE. IT IS SCARRIER THEN AMNESIA, & I'ld *NEVER* thought I'ld say that

CuriousDave I don't think that's a glitch. That's just you being smart.

"We're working to patch a bug causing the game"

+Ghengis Juan for a temporary workaround you can just uninstall it

WOT?!

The exact same thing happened to me. Such a fun bug that one.

+Tr4newreck Except unlike Molyneux, he doesn't acknowledge that his past works were flawed/bad...and comes off as extremely arrogant and dishonest.

Thanks

Even more of a necropost here, but it's because I'm guessing the Yahtzee copy-pasted directly without realising that arabic script is written right-to-left and, as I thougt most people have seen, arabic letters mostly join to one another. My honourable friend here, John Denham, has indeed correctly read the letters' pronounciation, from right-to-left, likely missing what Yahtzee's error was. If you read the letters *incorrectly* (from left-to-right, as if you're reading it the way English would be written), then it correctly *spells* the arabic words pronounced "Al-salaam a'alaykum", meaning literally "peace be upon you", which is used as a very common, generic greeting / welcome in classical arabic. This bothered me the first time that I saw it as just lazy (as arabic letters mostly join up with each other within a word, and should have been clear that something was amiss when Yahtzee pasted them in like this that the letters were all disconnected from each other), however I only noticed your comment just now, years later, when I accidentally mouse-scrolled down when hoping to scroll a different window. Part of me is ashamed at putting time into such a pointless correction and explanation, but at least I'm technically correct - the best kind of correct. :-)

I've been on TV Tropes too much. I was thinking of BSOD the trope, meaning a mental breakdown, instead of BSOD the computer suicide. Incidentally, either version still works.

lol! Death by BSOD!

Judging by the situation, perhaps both.

Noice one!