All quotes from Cave Johnson in Portal 2 

Hmm... Cave Johnson sounds a little different in the beginning of the video...

Caroline's audio is named the same as Cave Johnson's files, and I assume the uploaded just grabbed all the files without listening and stuck them in a video.

"Alright, I've been thinking... When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life! Take the lemons BACK! *GET MAD!!!!* I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!?!?!? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER!!! MAKE LIFE, RULE THE DAY AND THOUGHT HE COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!?!?!? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA *BURN* YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!!!! WITH THE LEMONS!!!!!! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTABLE LEMON *THAT* *BURNS* *YOUR* *HOUSE* *DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*" - Cave Johnson, Portal 2

Cave Johnson here. You're reading this in my voice, aren't you? Cave Johnson, we're done here.

Johnson would say: "Say goodbye, Caroline." She would reply with: "Goodbye, Caroline!" Geddit?

"Okay, the lab boys gave me some advice 'If you get covered in the repulsion gel, DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.'"

J.K. Simmons is awesome, as always. He did a really good job with this.

"Bean counter said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair... did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."

Cave Johnson is my favourite fictional Arsonist

"we could literally not buy 7 dollars of moon rocks, much less 70 billion, *bought em anyway* "

2:27 laugh every time

"yes sir mr. johnson." there i quoted sumthin from portal 2

“Science isn’t about why - it’s about why not.” -Cave Johnson

9:49 to 9:57 "... beard dirt." lmfao

there are some people you can listen to all day.....

When I realized that Glados was Caroline, I was sad that Cave must've died before they get put him in the computer... :*(

JK Simmons did an AWESOME job. Played my favorite character in the Spider Man movies, and now the ever hilarious Cave Johnson!

"I punch those numbers into my calculator and it makes a happy face."

6:27 - 6:46 is the best quote in the game, genius script writing

the dialog of portal 2 is legendary

"You, GLaDOS, and Cave Johnson."

hearing these all in one continuous line . i couldn't stop laughing

Say goodbye, Caroline. Goodbye, Caroline. ...She is a gem....

the mantis men thing is my favorite part XD

This is the first video that actually get half of the captions correct.

Originally, that audio was going to be part of an audio recording that you would hear like the other ones in game in which Caroline was *Spoilers, but you shouldn't be here if you don't want any* going to be put inside GLaDOS. However, Cave Johnson's voice actor refused to act out his lines for the scene as he found it disturbing, as it sounded "wrong"...Valve agreed and yanked it out of the game. The Caroline lines where she talks about her discomfort are all that remain.

hahahaha Gmod is awesome with the Lemonade or combustible lemon weapon :D

Cave Johnson is a man, I would die happy if I could be like him.

If you meet your self don't make eye contact, They say it could wipe out time, foward and back.

4 people got their house burned down by lemons.

I bet the guy who got fired for being in a wheelchair was the same guy who got blue paint instead of repulsion gel.

From now on, I am going to answer all questions with another question. "Who wants sixty dollars?"

One time my parents said when life gives you lemons make lemonade. I am now seeing a psychologist

I listen to this whole video before I'm about to do...well.....anything. The whole video sounds like one full waring for something.

When life gives you lemons, dress up as a ghost and punch them in the stomach.

sry for posting twice but this is hillarious the CC writes. Caroline give more paying pills please xD

Cave Johnson = best boss ever, unless ur a test subject

One person was part of the control group for repulsion gel.

@capitol5000TV Actually, they recorded Caroline's part of that recording, where she becomes GLaDOS, but J.K. Simmons thought the scene was too disturbing for him to record. So they cut it.

06:28 - 06:46 cracked me up like a lot of other stuff in Portal 2

@CasioMaker That's honestly, one of the most clever comments I've ever read on RU-vid.

Press 5 steadily, "Mudkip"

I would actually go with the final offer to be taken apart and put back together again. Plus the removal of possible tumors is a good deal >.>

Goodbye, Caroline!

In this picture, Cave looks like a bad weatherman.

Interesting, it says in the game "Fighting an army of mantis men, pick up a sword and following the yellow line" in this it says rifle.

2:25 to 2:57 - Hell yeah!

4 people got their house burned down wit lemons

In case you get covered in the Repulsion-Gel here is something the Lab-Boy gave me: Do not get covered in the Repulsion-Gel.

You helped us advance science 300 years, when i punch that into a calculator it makes a happy face. :D

MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK... AND BRING ME SOME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!

"Ive been thinking , when life gives you lemons Dont make lemonade what give the lemons back what am i supposed to do with thease i dont want your [Senseored] lemons get mad do you know who i am im the man whos gonna burn your house down with the lemons im going to get my enginers to create a combustble lemon *cough* *cough*

@JHFunny1000 no the control group didn't tell him that he wasn't supposed to talk about the control group so he was informed he wasn't supposed to talk about them.

Wait, did he figure out how to make gasoline from blood? Does that mean no more 'Blood for Oil' slogans?! It's about damn time!

When i heard that Caroline was GlaDOS was a real person. I shat bricks.

As soon as I heard “sorry, boys, she’s married... to science”, I was like YEP. YEP, THAT’S GLaDOS. YEP.

4 people gave Cave Johnson lemons.

@MrFluffyRedGyarados "We're still doing science, sir"

I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!

Transcribe Audio says: Goodbye Caroline = Ignite Caroline BURNING PEOPLE.

Who knew listening to a guy talk would be so entertaining.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

That's only a speculation, accepted by most fans.

2:27 - 2:58 Cave Johnson for President!!!

it's a joke, she is saying what he wants her to say. he said to say goodbye caroline, so she said that

@Sonetodecirene Moon rocks are a lot more important than ramps, obviously.

Actually, for the bring your child to work day part the giant potato plant has the name chell on it. so she IS one of the testers daughter

now, maybe you dont have any tumors? well we took care of that too. LOL

I believe she was denying the computer thing

You might be asking yourself "Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?" Let me answer those questions with a question. Who wants to make $60 dollars. Cash.

Wow.. just wow....

HAHA MR JOHNSON. HAHA OH MR. JOHNSON. OH. HAHA! OH! Oh. Mr. Johnson. Sir. I don't want this. Sir. Mr. Johnson. I don't want this. Oh.

Is it just me or does he get more lucid as he goes on?

9 people were fired for being in wheelchairs

@Madcow11200 Considering Cave's VA outright refused to voice the scenes that use those lines, you can guess what he thought of it too.

I love how the cut out quotes from caroline sounds like rape

Fighting an army of mantis men

COMBUSTIBLE LEMON!

There probably isn't enough Caroline quotes for a video of just her quotes and she only speaks when Cave speaks.

10:25 blackmesa can eat my bankrupt- THANK YOU! XD

I pictured him with a mustache

@TheAkatsuki357 But he doesn’t hate everything. Just lemons.

i want a prequel to portal with all of there other tests.

@PrinceOfAltea the original recording session

Trying to decide who the worse J.K. Simmons boss is: J. Jonah Jameson, White Knight, or this guy.

@Z3ldaMahBoi You obviously never saw all the improvements that Aperture made.

carolin is..... GLAD0S!!!

thanks. because i totally don't have speakers.

I like the part where she said "Mister Johnson"

A lot of those lines reminded me of "Janitor" from Scrubs. (ie. 5:21, 7:46, 8:31, 9:28, 9:58). That made it extra funny IMO.

@SomeOnlineGamer18 GROUNDED MOON ROCKS ARE A GREAT CHORAL CONDUCTOR

mr. johnson looks like ronald reagan

Hum. If someone tells you to say something, and you said "Something." that would be the same kind of thing. He told her to say "Goodbye Caroline." So she said "Goodbye, Caroline!" I don't know if that helped. XD

@NotDetroit where would that sexy voice be without caroline

4 people have lemons

I DO NOT WANT THIS!..... haha, welcome to the enrichment center. lol

@NotDetroit He wouldnt be GLaDOS he would be CaVE

Oh, I see! Interesting! I bought "Portal: Final Hours", but it's not mentioned there. :(

the lab people told me to stop making pre-recorded messages. that gave me an idea. make moar pre-recorded messages

That's wierd. The game has a quite a bit of cut content. There was also a cut character called "Mel", who was going to be your pal in Co-op mode along with Chell before Atlas and P-Body stepped in. Another scene that exists only in text that suggests you were going to actually FIND Cave Johnson at one point in a computer, and you had to kill him to progress (In fact, he wanted you to). More here, a lot of its interesting: h t tp://tcrf.n e t/Portal_2 (Remove spaces in URL)