Am I Married to A Bad Wife? | The Happy Wife School Show Ep. 38 

Video Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome 2:54 Topic Introduction 10:12 Being Stuck in Camp Victim 22:25 10 Behaviors of a Bad Wife 42:12 The Solution for Women 44:50 The Solution for Men 47:37 Questions and Comments

10 behaviors of a bad wife starting at 26:20 .: 1. You are controlling - micromanaging and inflexible with your plan. Good men are not controlling. They are easy going and flexible 2. You need to be right. You can't bear to be wrong. Same as a man being weak. Its the worst thing to experience in our female interpretation. When you can admit you make mistakes, your man will be a better experience 3. You have to wear the pants in the relationship and give approval for everything the man does 4. You are a pain avoider. Avoid pain and conflict to get to solutions. Stop being so mean and reactive 5. You are moody, temperamental, and over emotional. You get triggered at the flip of a switch 6. You are critical and judgmental. Focus on negative and flaws of your husband instead of the good positive things 7. You have double standards. Do as I say, not as I do. You can do what you want, but the man has to stick to your rules 8. You talk behind your husband's back. You feel entitled to air your dirty laundry 9. You are not interested in sex and feel it is an obligation instead of a normal healthy activity. Good men don't want to cheat. They want to have a good sex life with their wife 10. You undermine your husband in front of your children and make him look bad, instead of taking issues behind closed doors and being respectful of your husband

As a former bad husband, I cringe when I think of my former behaviour with my wife for many years. Now, for about the last 31/2 years I realize that I cannot change the past, but continue in a much changed behaviour. Thank goodness I married a very patient wife.

What I do know is that if you're brow-beaten and starved for affection, is that eventually you stop caring.

My wife has flat out disrespected me right in front of the kids. She's a stay at home mom, and I came home from work, there were a ton of dishes, and the dishwasher that I ran before I left for work was still full. I sighed and started emptying it so it could get done, and she told me to leave the room because nobody liked being around me when I "act like that", right in front of the kids. I couldn't believe that shit.

I believe undermining behind his back is worse than in front of him.

Most men want a wife and a family. This life is impossible with modern women. You can see the problem in modern marriage in the most miserable people are divorced women over 40. The likely left a good man and now no one wants them. They still are never accountable but deep down they know they destroyed their life.

I used to believe that hormones where a reason for a wife to act the way they do, but your reasoning on how your wife can be normal at work then come home and be a completely different person . It makes so much sense!

I can’t believe how accurately the list of 10 behaviors you outlined describes my wife EXACTLY (especially because you don’t even know her!! That’s amazing!) It’s equally disheartening she refuses to see how she contributes to her own relationship difficulties and always plays the victim. After years of trying, I had to accept the reality she refuses to acknowledge her role, and I had to walk away. 💔

Couldn’t have been better timing..my wife is a terrible liar and tries lying to me. This weekend she said he car got taken but they only drove it a block and took her purse with nothing in it…and that’s why she didn’t respond to me all day and stayed out all night….this is what I’m dealing with…

I wish that there was a way to get these messages into most churches. I hear biblical teaching that churches don't ever address. Two problems with this. Firstly, most women who go to church won't hear this message because the preachers don't know the bible or are afraid to make women in the church mad. Secondly, many men are turned off by organized churches and thus the churches can't get them to Jesus.

Thank you for teaching us guys about women and for understanding that it's not always our fault. Every wife and potential wife should attend this school as if they were attending cooking classes.

From what I have seen, only about 2 wives out of 100 are good wives. 98 % cut off sex after marriage, or when the children arrive. Most do not support their husband, they complain to other women about what he does wrong. She is not happy, so it's the husbands fault. Men don't know this is coming after marriage.

Thank you to all the women watching and participating in the chat today. I appreciate your curiosity and open-mindedness very much. I saw some great questions I missed during the show that I will save to answer at another time.

Thank you Karyn for showing both sides of a marriage a way forward. I am finding myself after a near 20 year relationship that ended because my ex-wife "wasn't happy". It is powerful to see myself in your description of a good man, the positives in my beliefs and negatives in being emasculated by a woman who was always the victim.

Too many fairy tale and romantic movies!

Wife's 66th Birthday. She has not talked much to me in the past 2 weeks. This was after I was accused of gritting my teeth after she gave me a disapproving comment. This has been a trigger for me because of my past upbringing. Sex starved for the first 30 years. No sex, or physical contact for the past 13 years. Will we make it to the 43rd anniversary in 2 weeks?? I had a card for her, with a present and homemade brownies! Instead, she is going out for a sandwich and then a long movie, alone. I really do not care at this point. Kids will be up for the 4th of July. This may be the time we can agree on a divorce! So tired of only getting affection from the dog!

So much I want to say but everything makes sense now. Horrible things said to me and I thought everything was always my fault. Like being caught in a tornado and no way out.

This was a much needed episode! Thanks, Karyn!

Great message today Karyn! Hate I missed the live, had to work. Always happy to watch on replay though, and it was with my husband. We enjoy watching together and talking about it. Thankful for you and all of your work!

This is a good one. I did this at an employer several years ago. Now this is funny when I expressed dissatisfaction about lack of forgiveness with my wife -- she said "oh, are you saying you're the victim?" Projection. This is a very healthy discussion.

My ex is now totally where you were 10 years ago. Hates victims but plays the biggest one by blaming me for her problems and unhappiness. She loves Camp Victim and plays up the pity party on social media. She is going to spiral downward even further.

I learn so much about being a good man. I am great full for this life education

Karyn is a national treasure. Thank you Karyn

THIS WOMAN NEED PROTECTION !!

Oh girl look at you growing 🎉🎉 I saw it coming when you were at 30k... keep up the good work. Like the hair btw

Great show as always Karyn! I only had to timeout one person!

Thank you as always. 😊

Do you have any content on how to train daughters in these “happy wife” ideas? They sound like life concepts and not being in “camp victim” can help any one.

Brilliant as always

Like your hair K.👍

My wife of 29 years has left me. Accused me of an emotional affair that was the last straw and unloaded the Rolodex of resentments built up over the years. How can a man recover from years of this emasculation abuse, the depression and overcome the regret I feel for not making it work?

Spectacular* content today-- thank you!

Do you offer a certificate for your course? I want to tell my fiancé that she needs to have a certificate of completion before I agree to marriage .

Karyn has answered so many questions about what happened to me and why.

Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account: Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.

Another Home Run - thank you once again!! This is episode #38, yes? 🤓

Describes my ex wife perfectly. "I wouldn't be like this if you would just (fill in the blank)". She thought I did nothing right. I can only hope the man in her life now is the one she was praying for.

Wow! My ex-wife would score 10 out of 10 here. Congrats to her on a job NOT well done. And for so long (as in 20 years) I bought/thought her B.S. that it was always and all ways my problems, for which she would accept zero responsibility. Thank you for this validation!

Every video you produce makes me love and appreciate ever more my Heaven-sent late wife, and how grateful I am that I remained a single man after her death. The sorrow and misery described in the comments section in your videos is staggering, and I have much sympathy for those men and women who find themselves hopelessly mired in truly sad situations. 😢

My son‘s ex-wife had a high body count, after the kids were born she divorced him and went back to promiscuous sex and she joined a polygamy cult.

Hi Karyn. I LOVE your videos-i have been trying to rebuild my relationship, and I have taken to heart (and practice) many of the resources telling me how to he a better man. But of everything, everyone, YOU are the only person I have seen addressing women’s fundamental role in dysfunctional marriages in a pragmatic way. You have relieved me of such guilt and burden and confusion. One thing I really want to see out of a video is this: Will you pretty please make a video about how exactly women can “build themselves back up?” You talk about women feeling empty, seeking externalities, refusing to take accountability-well, how do they actually begin healing, and starting to feel whole? I agree wholeheartedly that women have “woman ways” of sabotaging relationships, but how do they address the core problem of emptiness that lies at the heart of everything? Thank you so much. You are a gem 💎💕✨

Soooo true

I love this video it points out a lot of things that make a lot of sense. The only thing I don't like and I wish would be different is the title because I feel like saying what makes you a bad wife is a little bit rough for a wife to hear. More of a softer approach maybe a "how you're not as good of a wife as you might think" would be a better title. It would make it a little bit more palatable when sending it to my wife😂

So I'm a great husband today according to my wife who was singing my praises today until around 5:30 when she wanted to talk about something she said I said to our daughter. I told her no because I'm not going to have a conversation where she said I called my daughter fat when I most certainly did not. I'm not going have a conversation where people are putting words in my mouth, and calling me a liar. Told her a second time. Third time I raised my voice told her I am not going to talk about this. Now I'm the asshole because I'm defending myself against harassment, and slander. I texted my daughter. She said she never said that. I told my wife to look at the text. She refused. Somehow I'm the selfish asshole. I told her either she misunderstood my daughter, my daughter misunderstood her, or both, and she needs to talk to her. Nope. I'm selfish. It's my fault.

Camp take responsibility

First off Karen, you are so spot on and correct and this information can be so helpful. However. It’s not easy to get a quarrelsome woman who is in victim and blames everyone else for the problems to watch and take from this video being titled the way it’s titled. She’s instantly up in arms and will not watch. 🙁

Women may not want to be wrong but some times they will just assume or accept the are wrong but do nothing about it. It usually results in a perpetual depressive state with no advancement.

My biggest mistake ever was this "happy wife happy life",....x2. What I should have done was make it clear this is what I want and need. If they could not then we should have parted then and there.

Thank you for tutorial.....very good....for men to understand where they are.....and I hope and for women.....👏👏👏....Do you think is there difference between women til 30 years and women after 30 years?

Does this information apply to couples who are not married ? Reason I ask because I showed my girlfriend of four years, says this information is only for married people. I disagree because we are committed to each other without a marriage certificate.

Thank you How do you deal with her toxic friends that try to push and make it hard even for our children even after we are split they just run her and how she parents etc it’s tuff

I am a Man in my early 60's and my wife (who is also in her early 60's) gave up sex in her mid 50's to go to church exclusively and while I can understand her need to go to church (I went as well until I could not agree with the church on matters that seemed foreign to me) but I am sure that the Bible created man First and after GOD realized that Adam needed someone else he created Eve out of Adam's rib. And both of them enjoyed the garden of Eden. Now getting to my problem I have understood my wife going through menopause for more than 5 years but I am a MAN and I have needs and I feel 5 years is about all I can take. What say you Happy Wife School?

Victimhood isn't just about bad things happening to you. It's the belief that every bad thing that has happened to you was ON PURPOSE and directed AT YOU. Hence why we have phrases like "weaponized incompetence." It's the idea that a husband not just did something, but did it intentionally to hurt his wife. Granted, that sort of makes weaponized incompetence an oxymoron because you can't make a weapon if you don't know what you're doing...but that's beside the point.

Be the teamate, not the argument.

Woman who admit there bad an werr bad should never be trusted people Do NOT change ! Woman ...never change

I would show this video to my wife, but she would get all defensive and emotional, and deny that she is doing this stuff.

There are biological consequences of a high body count such as the lack of ability to parabond because of the lack of oxytocin they fail to create. I don't believe just because someone changed their behavior and no longer hands their body out to just any-body, that there' been nothing lost from their behavior. A woman's past matters, big time, just as much as a man's future matters.

When it comes to divorce, it may take a few years but karma don't pass up woman even... They get nailed in the worst way. Iv seen it to many times. It's real.

Alwats seen these behaviors but didnt know it was identifird as accountabily, gas lighting, and victim mdntallity

I'm a bad Tom Cat. I hope I don't change.

😮

Good day @Karyn, thank you for your videos. If I may ask a personal question, are you Christian? My wife only follows those that are Christian.

#9, #9, #9..... and #10

Thanks! For being my biological mother in Christ Jesus of Nazareth. Amen and amen.

There is nothing more than I love in the world than to receive affection and intimacy from my beautiful wife. I hope one day, I will not long for that, but that it will be a part of our daily lives.

Am I a “Bad Husband?”

bad to the bone....

Preamble ends around 26:00 .

5:51 I started listening to your channel because my husband found you online after we had a fight. He sent it to me to justify his side of the story. I have so much to say about your content. I would love to have a chat. I believe you are missing so much of the why women behave the way they do. It’s not solely because men are good and wives are bad. Way more to the story. You’re lifting men up. And completely disrespecting women. You think women solely have these behaviors to be manipulative and controlling. Many women are reacting by pulling back because of not feeling heard and trying to protect themselves. Every man I know. Says they are a good man. Without realizing or caring about how their behavior affects others. You have taken this content to a one sided approach. All men are good. And all wives are emasculating. It’s about mutual respect. I don’t see that here.

Are you married

I know I’ll get probably a lot of flack, but is it a bad idea to have sex with your spouse who you are divorcing? I’m assuming no! But man sometimes a man’s needs is overwhelming!

🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:01 *👋 Introduction and announcements* - Introduction to the show "The Happy Wife School" discussing the topic of "Are you married to a bad wife?" - Announcements about upcoming shows, podcast availability, and a recommendation for another channel. 02:54 *🎤 Purpose of the discussion* - Discussing behaviors that may make a woman a "bad wife" and their impact on marriages. - Encouraging women to reflect on their behaviors and their effects on relationships. 06:14 *🚫 Living in Camp Victim* - Explanation of how living in a victim mentality affects accountability in marriages. - Impact of blaming spouses for relationship issues and the importance of self-awareness. 10:15 *🔍 Camp Victim vs. Camp Take Responsibility* - Contrasting perspectives of victimhood and responsibility in relationships, focusing on women's behaviors. - How men's understanding of accountability differs and its implications for relationship dynamics. 22:24 *📉 10 Behaviors of a "Bad Wife"* - Listing specific behaviors that indicate a lack of accountability and selfishness in marriages. - Addressing the facade versus true behaviors and the importance of recognizing and changing these behaviors. 25:51 *🎯 Understanding controlling behaviors in marriage* - Controlling behaviors range on a spectrum from micromanaging to demanding strict adherence. 26:20 *🔄 The need to be right and its impact on relationships* - Women's resistance to being wrong can strain relationships, while good men value humility and honesty. 30:18 *🩳 Balancing power dynamics in relationships* - Challenges of wearing "the pants" and the importance of mutual respect and decision-making. 31:30 *🚫 Addressing conflict avoidance in marriages* - Recognizing the impact of avoiding conflict versus actively seeking resolution. 33:27 *🎭 Managing emotional fluctuations in relationships* - Understanding moodiness and the importance of stability and consistency in relationships. 34:34 *🕵️‍♀️ Overcoming critical and judgmental behaviors* - Shifting focus from criticism to appreciation and positivity in relationships. 36:39 *🛡️ Embracing fairness and consistency in marital expectations* - Avoiding double standards and promoting honesty and fairness in relationships. 38:47 *🗣️ Maintaining privacy and respect in marital communication* - Discussing marital issues with respect for privacy and personal boundaries. 39:05 *🛏️ Nurturing intimacy and connection in marriages* - Recognizing the importance of genuine intimacy and emotional connection in relationships. 40:19 *🧒 Fostering respect and unity in parental roles* - Promoting mutual respect and cooperation in parenting roles for a healthy family dynamic. 51:14 *🧠 Empowerment through personal responsibility* - Emphasizes taking control of one's actions and responses. - Advocates for pride in self-management and personal growth. 53:32 *🏥 Navigating health decisions in relationships* - Acknowledges the limits of influence over a partner's health choices. - Encourages acceptance and positive role modeling. 55:26 *💬 Overcoming judgment based on past behavior* - Stresses the potential for personal change despite past actions. - Rejects the notion that past mistakes define future potential. Made with HARPA AI

You are dangerous

12 min in ... When do you get to the point?

Love your show. During the break, grab a hairbrush. I love to see your straight hair and wise blue eyes 😊