It's interesting that those who seem to be most 'fixated' on gender roles aren't the reactionary, fundamentalist conservatives, but the progressive non-binary types. When I hear people describing non-binary, they always resort to trivial details like clothing and hair. This is not gender dysphoria.
If you keep in mind that gender is how a person presents and interacts with the world based on current gender norms/roles in society and in culture, then being insistantly trans male/female seems trivial as well, until you realize that mundane things such as hair, clothes, pronouns are very meaningful and impactful to a lot of people.
@@MellowJelly that’s gender presentation. there used to be masc women, what happened to that? now whenever a woman is more masculine she’s automatically deemed not a woman anymore
I've heard a lot of stereotyping from the movement. I once asked a (gender fluid) male what is it he feels when he feels like a woman on any given day?... His response was "I don't know. I guess I feel more giggly". I've got to be honest, I felt quite offended. And that doesn't happen very often.
As someone who was sucked into the non-binary thing at around 20/21 and has since realised that being a gender-non-conforming female doesn't make me less of a woman and accepting being female (esp. biologically) is much more healthy than trying to... avoid it? Escape it? Idk... here my take on the video you reacted to: Being uncomfortable with being perceived as a woman or with your female body, especially throughout puberty, is something that I'd say isn't that uncommon. Female puberty comes with a bunch of physical changes that can feel overwhelming, especially when you realise how much other people judge women for their body and for being a woman in the first place. So on one hand your body starts to change in very new ways ("new" as in "things that haven't been there before", in contrast to growing taller f.e.), you start developing breasts that have been over-sexualised for a long time, you start your period which is a completely new and at times painful experience, your body shape changes (hips getting broader f.e.) and on the other hand you have all those expectations from people around you or from media about how to be as a woman. It can be very overwhelming and make you feel disconnected from your body, like it's not really yours anymore! And especially when you have a hard time fitting in with certain expectations and "just want to be yourself", or are gender-non-conforming in different ways, the idea of non-binary sounds appealing. Instead of trying to "be a woman" (whatever that means) you just opt out, kind of, not realising however that you've fallen for the same gender stereotyping that we wanted to get rid off (at least until some years ago apparently). Honestly, the only thing "non-binary" ended up doing for me is make me hate my body more than before... looking at the amount of girls going to gender clinics and the amount of female de-transitioners I just can't ignore the links there and it's crazy :(
Somewhat makes me glad that I was always sorta “tomboyish” in high school, and while being in high school this “non-binary” crappy ideology didn’t exist.
This is such a good explanation of what a lot of people I know feel! It's so maddening to watch friends I had push me away because they want to blame their physical body for the social dysphoria. People without any primary or secondary s^x dysphoria going and getting treated as if they have it… when really they just don't want to be treated the way they've seen the women all around them being treated. And then, when they do go from "woman" to "NB" or "trans man" they can be some of the most misogynistic people I've ever met. It's very much infuriating because I've watched people essentially self destruct and now are spiraling while also being _miserable_ and lying all over social media because only in private do they talk about how much they hate their body (and aren't any happier as NB or as ftms.) I don't know any men/bio-males who have this issue, but I'm not really plugged into that space.
I'm always saying this. Name me one woman/girl who enjoyed puberty and loved their body during puberty (and even after). The female puberty is a wild ride and leaves every girl feeling more or less uncomfortable in her own skin at some point. I for example have no connection to my breasts. I dont have any feeling in my nipples (around 2% of women don't have any feeling in their nipples), so they were always a bit weird to me, but I never hated them. And I grew to enjoy how they look on me. That doesn't mean that I needed top surgery to get rid of them because they felt weird to me as a teen. I needed to grow into them, emptionally.
Same here. I 54 years old I have always hated dresses, panty hose, playing with dolls, makeup, shopping, romance novels, manicures etc. I always loved legos, dinosaurs, toy soldiers, hockey, boxing, action films, horror novels, Mad magazine, hiking, video games, and carpentry. I’m a woman, I’m heterosexual, I wear jeans and sneakers or boots, have short hair, a wicked slap shot, love adventures, and couldn’t give a rat’s patootie about stereotypical gender roles. None of the men I have dated and loved cared either.
That’s exactly what it is a lot of them that claim to be nonbinary just don’t like how their bodies look they feel that they look more like a meal than a female they feel like they don’t look right in dresses because ultimately they are just Tom boys who don’t fit the aesthetic of what the world wants girls to look like so they adopted and they go with oh I’m non-binary because I don’t look right address because that’s what the world Sis know you’re just a person who is uncomfortable with your own body, and not willing to accept the way that you look
@Dwayne The Coke Johnson exactly. This all seems like too much free time and self absorbed individuals seeking to fit in somehow. I give half of them less than 10 years to grow out of it
When I was very small and ever since I wanted to be a boy or a man, but I never thought I was a boy. I wanted to be a boy or a man because of society, because even as a little kid I knew that boys and man have another status in society and a little bit because I wanted the skill to pee standing upright. But I think that's the issue why people especially young woman think they are non-binary because they want the social status of a man or a woman without feeling any kind of genderdysphoria.
they need to stop using the word phobia because they use it completely different than the meaning....they apparently don't understand that the word phobia is an irrational fear of something
@@somethingclever8916 yeah, but it could make sense depending a more thorough analysis, such as neglecting what is feminine that is oversexualized, thus causing discomfort; feeling less beautiful or womanly due to hyperfeminine bodies and role models displayed in media; the relative discomfort and lack of practicality of our dress code/fashion; the idea that beauty is pain and being a woman is inherently hard and painful; the idea that femininity is the same as weakness as well as rude comparisons to "superior" masculine traits advertised by media (don't be a princess, be a warrior, don't be kind, be ruthless etc). The problem is, there is strength in both femininity and masculinity, and we all share aspects and behaviors that are typically feminine or masculine, some more prevalent than others and that is fine. It is actually positive and some people miss the point that you don't need the erasure of the binaries to be comfortable experiencing them.
When I was a teen, I was a tomboy, and I felt like dressing up for prom was dress up....because it was. Who wears big ball gowns all the time??? It is literally dressing up for one night. Feeling like a Tom boy doesnt mean I am nonbinary. I am a woman. I just prefer pants.
Me too, I was a tomboy and so glad my parents let me be... I had a lot of boys for friends even to this day. I dressed like a boy because I played rough and a dress didn't work for me.
Even if you weren't a tomboy that feeling is pretty common. There's the sense that it is expected as your becoming a young woman, but it isn't even how most women dress. Only a few end up in a lifestyle where that kind of dressing up becomes normal.
I am a normal female who is super uncomfortable in dresses, doesn't wear much makeup, doesn't style my hair, doesn't wear high heels or much jewelry.....I'm not questioning my sex or gender whatsoever. Just because I'm not super girly doesn't mean I'm not a girl. People think way too much into this crap. Love your vids. You're so logical and I connect with that!
By being self-assured that you are cis actually affirms the fact that nonbinary people do exist. If enbies were comfortable with their gender do you think they'd question their gender? Make it make sense
Same! But my mom is always telling me that I dress up horribly. But I am fine with what I wear. And on the other hand I completly understand dresscodes at some actions, and I don't have a problem with it.
YES!!! This whole movement TERRIFIES me because I grew up with All brothers, Loved 'masculine' games and clothing . . . . I was a SUPER Tomboy, and I know if I'd been exposed to this at a young age I probably would have been one of the many many tragic cases who got swept up in it . . . my life would be SO different, and now as a much more mature young adult who is Completely happy with who I am, It honestly makes me so SO sad to see so many young girls being mislead into thinking something is Wrong with them!!!
Being a woman has zero to do with how comfortable or uncomfortable you feel about it. Dress and behave however you like. Find people who accept you the way you are. Guess what? You will never be able to control what other people think about you, even if you make them use all the right words.
I formerly used to try to force people to call me feminine pronouns. Sorry to anyone who had to suffer through that brief phase. But yeah, as a self-actualised NB now, I find myself nearly arguing with people who are like "What pronoun do you want?" And I say "I don't care, I'm NB" and they be like "No I don't wanna disrespect you!" And I'm like "Well that's kinda impossible cos I just gave you literally ALL the options. Sir, ma'am, they, it; I don't care"
They are convenient abbreviations of proper nouns. Instead of saying Kimmie Wise when referring to me in a a sentence you simply replace Kimmie Wise with “she” in reference to Kimmie. Same thing with every other pronoun. When you are talking about a rock you don’t just repeat “The rock” every time. You replace “The rock” with “it”. You didn’t ask the rock if it identified as an it. It just is an it by virtue of being an inanimate object.
What I dislike about gebder identity theory is that it takes UNIVERSAL experiences and uses them as proof for a trans or non binary identity. I've looked at a lot of the am I trans or am I non binary posts and most of the questions can be boiled down to teenage/early twenties angst, body image issues, introvertedness, social awkwardness and discomfort with restrictive gender roles. The large majority of humanity could fall under the definition of non binary because the word has ever shifting meanings and is designed to fit anyone who isn't a strict stereotype. I have yet to meet one person who doesn't dislike a good number of the restrictive roles for men and women and I don't know many young people who lack some sort of discomfort with their bodies especially during puberty.
This is what I was thinking about throughout hearing about the person’s examples of signs that you could be nb. All of those things are what so many people, men and women, or boys and girls since it’s especially in one’s teenage years you often have no idea who you are; you’re trying to find out that, and what you want, what you’re supposed to do with your life - and that at the same time as having whatever cultural expectations that applies, and wanting to be like everyone else (or the opposite), rebelling against parents, etc. All of these so very normal human things.
I came out as trans and found out about myself at the age of Twenty. Idk how exactly but my brain just clicked one morning and I was fed up with everything i couldn't seem to deal with. And then i started therapy, figured out I had disorders, that i am a transguy and that i don't need to live in suffering forever just to please others. I had a mixed bag of s youth but it was just typical stuff i hear from everyone despite being cis or trans. : Parents fighting, alcohol, yelling, bullies at school, chaotic family, puberty drama, etc
@@myrkflinn4331 But what does it mean to be a trans guy? That you have dysphoria? If that's the case and we accept that dysphoria is a mental illness then can't we also conclude that youth related issues, like those you describe, could lead some people to developing this condition? That's how mental illness works in general. People will be exposed to certain environments and, possibly as a result of genetics and the specifics of their own upringing, some people form a certain condition and others dont. If thats applicable then it raises the question of whether permanent body changes are the most appropriate treatment (especially since other mental illnesses usually dont rely on radical and experimental medical procedures for their treatment) If we accept that something has a cause then it can also have solution and i think people with gebder dysphoria deserve to be treated properly by the therapeutic and medical establishment and given a standard of care thats thoroughly researched. They deserve better than dangerous and experimental procedures. Blaire white has often talked about the possibility of a cure being entirely ignored because of the culture war and some detrans people claim to have benefited from talk therapy which is also being ignored. Some people claim to psychologically benefit from transition but i think the physical risks and the permanent nature are enough to exercise some pause and caution. Anyway, this is all a very long windup to saying, you're 20. You're very young so please approach with caution identifying with a concept that often leads people to making irreversible changes.
@@myrkflinn4331 One day I went to a thrift store to get some pants and hatched as an NB; Suddenly I got a couple skirts instead of the intended pants. But that was my own decision. I lament how many "trans/Nb" kids will be railroaded into this hard life when they could have been cis and productive as intended
You're right, this is not dysphoria, this is just the weight of all the stereotypes, toxic standards and traditional roles imposed on women. Dysphoria makes you transition.
That last point that she made is a HUGE problem for teens. Confused insecure teens can think that they’re trans or non-binary when they are not because they’re seeking to find anything unique to identify themselves with, and a unique gender is easier and less time consuming than discovering a hobby or interest. It also gives them more justification to act defensively and feel safer from criticism, which they crave in their insecurity. So many teens will call themselves non binary when they are not gender dysphoric. Then, when they discover they are wrong, they don’t have the self esteem to admit that they were wrong, so now they have to continue living the lie and being miserable.
@Dwayne The Coke Johnson wow lol that's deep...but actually I see the phenomenon you're talking about as people taking pride in gaining oppression points. that being trans or nb is just another label that offers them oppression points, which offers coolness, innate wokeness (LOL), platforming, etc. I think people assert and hide behind these categories as a shield, so that they can fit in and be accepted, without having to cultivate their natural personality and let that speak for itself. woke culture definitely encourages individuality, as long as it fits within a box of wokeness. People who are insecure just allow themselves to be swallowed in that.
Every point this person made is a huge problem for teens. Whats being described is not gender identity, but body image issues. Normal and common ones, at that - especially for someone who grew up surrounded by strict gender roles. I feel horrible for kids these days who are being told by youtubers like this that NORMAL discomfort with puberty and social gender expectations are signs that they need to question or re-label their gender.
‘If gender or sexuality is a social construct, then conversion therapy would actually work’ As a gay man who struggled with being gay even before knowing that the concept of homosexuality existed, this hits really hard
My mother was an ob/gyn nurse for eighteen years. She doesn’t remember boxes of genitals being in the delivery room, so that the doctors could arbitrarily assign genders to the newborns.
My sister was sucked into this and now claims to be Non-Binary, yet she still wears skirts, still talks about her female reproductive parts, doesn't have dysphoria, not transitioning at all and not even seeing a therapist about it and no name change, no effort at all and it's such a degradation of who she used to be as a girl. I asked her in the most polite, but honest way possible that what gender she claimed to be didn't exist and that she was still my sister and there's nothing wrong with that, but of course, she wouldn't even listen to me and left the house the next day, just like that, gone, just for that reason, it's ridiculous. There needs to be more outlook on what is causing people to hate their own bodies, yet don't transition and don't claim to be trans boys or trans girls, because if there was more awareness of body dysmorphia, eating disorders and trauma, a lot more people would be much happier and a lot more people would stop claiming to be Non-Binary as a way to escape their problems.
I'm a transsexual myself and my female cousin also fell for the "nonbinary" bullshit. She tried to compare her "transess" to my condition and when I pushed back she completely fell apart. Like the girl in this video she cited sexist stereotypes as to why she's not a woman. She also has a history of CSA that she admitted factors into her "nonbinary" feelings. She started crying and has refused to talk to me for 2 years. She's shit talked me so bad her brother wants to fight me. The "nonbinary" trend is unhinged and has nothing in common with transsexuality
The same with my sister. But I found out in her social media and when I asked her about that she blocked me. After that we never talked about that again. Im trying yo give her time to discover herself, I really hope that she found out that the things that make her "nonbinary" it's actually called "having a personality"
Are you kidding me? I guess I’m “non-binary” because I rarely wear dresses or skirts? Yes I like to wear them at times, but I’d rather just be comfortable. Pants and a hoodie are my uniform, but it doesn’t make me any less of a woman. Whatever happened to being a tomboy? lol
"I would spend hours a day looking in the mirror.". This kind of distress needs addressing. Having people use a different word when they talk about you isn't going to fix that problem. A real, qualified therapist (not an ideologically fixed gender therapist) would help.
YES! Thank you xD There is no one way to "be a woman". As a teen, I always wore jeans and t-shirts and felt really uncomfortable whenever my mother encouraged me to wear dresses. I'm now 31 and I pretty much live in dresses. Neither of these fashion phases defines my womanhood. Some of my female friends never wear make-up and prefer comfy clothes and sportswear. They are decidedly less "feminine" in their presentation but that doesn't make them any less of a woman.
I honestly just pity this girl. I’m assuming that, coming from a religious (I’m assuming Christian) background, and then going straight from there to woke leftist circles, she remained in a constant echo chamber and never realized that… yeah, women are individuals and they don’t want to wear dresses or act feminine all the time. It’s normal and it doesn’t make them any less of a woman. I hope she gets (legitimate) therapy and realizes that what she probably has are just body image issues, not gender dysphoria.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s, when gender bending didn't actually mean that you were another gender. I had long hair.l, painted my nails, and at times wore my sisters dresses and played with her dolls. Yet I am a masculine male, and very happy as one. Today we've blurred the lines between reality and fantasy to the point that I thank god that I wasn't born 20 years later, or I might have been transitioned as a child.
From what I’ve seen, this expression of « non-binarity » only seems to exist in Western countries. I am a Vietnamese dude who is studying in Paris and tbh I am baffled as to how virtually inexistant this trend seems in France compared to what comes from the US. Aside from the fact that I can’t wrap my head around the existence of anything other than male/female, the overwhelming majority of the people calling themselves « non binary » or anything derived from that seem to be of the same social groups and choose to dress themselves in very particular ways. I remember discovering trans people in 2009. Most if not all just seemed like your average Joe or Jane, though sometimes with an androgynous quality that makes their trans identity obvious (this is when « transsexual » was still accepted…. A term that I find to be more valid for trans people than « transgender »). Honestly, this just shows how impressionable some people (and not only the adolescents who make up the majority of the NB crowd) can be. Do I think they may have a psychological disorder ? Probably, environmental aspects sometimes may create that. However, I don’t think that the « non-binary » « identity » is something that can explain coherently what they have.
A 15 year old girl I know who was sucked into the gender ideology explained this all to me as "gaslighting yourself and self sabotaging". I thought it was the most profound thinking shes has in a while when she said that.
I’m 70, never liked dresses, always wear jeans. I would take off my school clothes as soon as I got home and put my jeans on. I’m married, have a son and never had any confusion about my gender. Because you like neutral clothes means nothing. She’s insecure and is trying to find a bandaid, she probably has other issues but non binary isn’t going to fix it.
When she was talking about looking in the mirror and hating her body- I can guarantee you, EVERY girl during puberty go through that! They hate their hips, and chest, they think they are fat. It is tough, but it is a part of growing up, it doesn't make you the third category because you don't like to wear prom dresses, it's ridiculous, smh
A history of sexual abuse in young females is a huge reason for them to want to run from traditional female roles, and completely understandable. I have seen this several times in my work related role. They seem to trend more to the “non-binary” self description, while trying to look more male and less feminine. Again totally understandable, but more of a fear of being seen as female, and thus subject to more abuse, rather than true gender dysphoria. Obviously addressing the sexual abuse needs to be the first priority, especially since children with that history tend to find themselves in situations where abuse happens again.
Yeah, this girl you're responding to is less "non-binary" and more "shallow and judgmental," putting all women (and men) in neat little boxes and saying that anyone who doesn't conform to the most rigid stereotypes isn't a woman or a man. It's incredibly offensive, and simply exposes the hollow foolishness of the whole "non-binary" concept. It's also absurdly broad, encompassing anyone who isn't comfortable with their body, which is about 99% of teens going through puberty. And her #4, "You just want to be seen as you," is literally 100% of the people in the world, every day, forever. What ignorance and arrogance to think that only your special little group feels like this, and everyone else is happy to be just a mindless photocopy of a stereotype. As you say, this is just a person who doesn't want to conform to her own ridiculous stereotypes. That's not "non-binary," it's just youthful rebelliousness combined with ignorance. Thanks for pointing out the silliness.
Well said. Apparently the rest of us boring binary people are content to be the same as everyone else - we have no originality or even the same capacity for reflective thought.
Yup it’s super archaic. I understand this theydy grew up in the lds church just as I have. It’s very brainwashy. I can’t help but feel sorry but that doesn’t mean they are incapable of understanding that wanting to play dress up isn’t even just a girl thing. Guys love dress up.. it’s all backwards and surprising somehow it plays into traditional stereotypes.
i don't think it's silly. it indicates a bigger problem at play. she just thinks she's special. alot of ppl in the comments are suggesting she has a mental disorder or other mental health issues but i don't think she does, she's just self-centered.
Growing up in a Christian household and struggling with my same sex attractions was an experience. I know for a fact-at least on one occasion- I thought my life would just be better if I was a woman. Thank God I grew up how I did, when I did and where I did, because if I had any amount of pressure from my peers to go for a sex change, I would be so miserable today. Questioning your gender, your body is normal and all people do that. Being truly gender dysphoric is much less common. And yeah, it is sad to say, but a lot of these non-binary people appear as if they want to change just to fit into something. It’s sad honestly.
I'm Black. I didn't realize I was "Black" until 2nd grade, because my parents (who are also Black) never talked about it. It was a White person who told me. As I grew older, I wanted people to see me as a person (as the lady says) so I would say "I'm human first not Black" or I would say "I'm human" when people would bring up race. I kind of feel what she is experiencing is similar. I was uncomfortable with who I was, and I didn't truly accept myself until my late 20s/early 30s. We are who we are. Some things we cannot change.
Thank you!! You hit the nail on the head, I’m sick and tired of people pretending that girls with body image issues are the same thing me, a transsexual man who has had severe dysphoria from age 4 and has lived as a stealth male for years. Having body image issues and internalized misogyny is NOT the same thing and people like her falling into the nonbinary trend just hurt transsexuals by equating it to troubled cis people.
Another thing, to me it seems as if this whole gender theory and non-binary thing, or at least the current obsession with it, started in English-speaking places. Possibly because there are different words for biological sex and gender? In my mother-tongue German there's only one word "Geschlecht", which encompasses biological sex and more social or psychological (?) aspects such as stereotypes, roles, traits ecc. associated with biological sex (which I think is what gender referred to at some point?). That's probably one reason why I was so confused about gender at first and my own gender identity, because I never needed it before in order to understand the world or to know that trans people exist. Now "gender" has morphed into "whatever I want it to mean", ranging from stereotypes to personality traits to hobbies/interests, and not having much to do anymore with what I think it referred to in the past.
I have always thought that nonbianary is just a really big step backwards. I had to learn that men and women can present however they want and it does not invalidate their gender. Now days it “ oh you are a boy that doesn’t like or associate with boy things wow you’re enby omg” and that is so shallow. It shows that they deep down inside still associate being a boy with mostly masculine traits and vice versa which is not how it is and if that causes you mental anguish then maybe you haven’t really opened your mind enough to understand that you are the one putting these genders back in little boxes. They just kept the traditional stereotypes and made their own box to stand on and talk down to people from.
If I was a teenager right now, I would buy into the whole trans or at least non-binary label My whole life I was a tomboy, and listening to this girl's experiences it sounds exactly like me. Most of my life I wore boy clothes, I hung out with boys, played video games with them and still do, I would feel almost dysphoric wearing feminine clothes. At one point I bound my chest every day and tried to pass as a legit teenage boy, not girl. I am now 25, and you know what? I am a woman. But I still feel the same. The concepts of "feminine roles" still make me feel like that's not me - mother, girlfriend, wife, all those "woman things". But that's just me, that's just my personality, I am me, just happened to be born a woman and there's no need to change that or call it anything else.
My one Grandma hated dresses and refused to wear them back when not wearing a dress, as a woman, was almost unheard of. She was still a woman. I had a lot of issues with puberty, too. I didn’t like developing pubic hair, for one. Or any extra body hair. I was both fascinated and horrified by my period (and everything that came with it) for YEARS. Sometimes I think some of these kids are just terrified of puberty.
I think this is such a good distinction you made. Medical trans vs more self-esteem/self-image, emotionally-based. I'm 2 generations above you and this woman. In my generations and earlier, it was common to be uncomfortable with growing up and the changes that puberty brings. What a strange option young folks take... to try and opt out of it because they are uncomfortable and don't want to deal with it? To me non-binary is a lifestyle and belief system... and probably should be reserved for folks who naturally look androgynous and frequently questioned if they are a boy or a girl. Otherwise they don't pass as a "they".
Don't trans people also transition because they are insecure with their assigned sex, how can you explain the difference? If someone doesn't physically pass as a she, a he, or a they, that doesn't change how they identify with the world from within. Likewise if somebody appears androgynous like Tilda Swinton, by no means does that mean that person should identify as nonbinary lol. I know you are older but your comment has a lot of the exact phrasings of arguments that have been debunked again, and again, and again.
I mean overall you could say the same thing to trans people, that they are opting out of an uncomfortable puberty because something in society or within themselves made them feel that their lives would be easier as the opposite gender.
@@MellowJelly Yes, you could say the same as trans folks. And I'd say there's a distinction to be made in folks who call themselves trans. I suspect if we did a medical run down, the brain scans, hormone levels, and add to it the gender dysphoria. That could be how to make the distinction. No relying on self-identifying, it needs to be taken more seriously. The non-passing trans folks? Or what I was talking about the non-passing non-binary folks? State what has been debunked. And you're making leaps I didn't make. Androgynous folks don't have to call themselves non-binary. But the public will believe it more if a naturally androgynous person identifies as "they".
I'm almost 80-years old. And when I was a young women who recoiled against traditional gender expectations, I identified as a "feminist," someone who didn't want to live in a male proscribed box" as I saw it, not a trans man or a gender fluid person. I know women who've never worn a dress or pantyhose in their lives, but they still know they're women, biologically and socially. I think this generation is being forced to make things far more complicated than they have to be. And I fear there's something really sinister behind it. At the very least, it's a huge distraction from anything else they might be doing with their energy. I neither hate nor fear trans people. But like you, I don't think a lot of this current movement has anything to do with men or women becoming trans as a way to heal their gender dysphoria.
I'm 59, born in 1963 so went through my teens and 20's in the 70's and 80's. Great times! We didn't have the archaic restrictive gender roles in the 70's, 80's, 90's, 2000's, that these young people are obsessed with today. It's like they're living under some self imposed rules from the 1940's.
I was sucked into this dumpster fire last year actually. It started out with me claiming I was nonbinary because of the fact that I like doing both masculine and feminine things and didn’t wanna look like a hyper-fem stereotype. Then I went more and more down the rabbit hole and claimed so many different identities in a span of just MONTHS. It was bigender, then agender, then genderfluid, then pangender, then trans, so on so fourth. Every time I had to “come out” to ppl they’d be supportive but they’d always try to make me second-guess. Long story short I was a VERY confused hopeless romantic cishet (or so I think).
Thanks for your insight and input. I’ve listened to quite a few channels, with the intention of trying to be a better man. More compassionate, patient, and understanding. You have such a great personality that translates so well on my end. Thanks again. Take care and much love.
Yet again! I’ve noticed a trend with nonbinary and acute Gender Dysphoria (and it also matches up with the sudden increase in referrals to GICs in the UK and around the world) I have noticed that the most EARLIEST that identities started appearing in day-to-day life is late 2014 to early 2015 (mostly 2015) - which is around the time the non binary flag was created. I went to school around these times and for me i would have been 13-14 (so nearly the last year of secondary school) I was the only transsexual and bi person in the entire school of about 5,000 people. Come late 2015 and early 2016 nearly every girl was bi and a handful suddenly identified as trans. nearly 8 years later, and all have some form of quirky pronoun and flag. From she/they, to they/them, from bisexual to abrosexual. The first ones to suddenly decide they were different were the girls who are artsy, liked anime and called themselves gamergirls. I have noticed it’s always the “I’m different” crowd that makes gender a big part of their quirkiness. People who are furries, like anime, do art, taxidermy, or have other quirky groups like therians, witches and people who say they’re Wiccan.
That last part, so on point. When I first learned of this non-binary scene, it had this hardcore “I’m 13 and just discovered Wicca” vibe. It’s pretty much always chubby white girls with septum piercings, pink hair and an unhealthy obsession with anime getting swallowed alive by this shit. Give it a few years, they’ll move on just like all the middle school witches did 🤷♀️
Actually one of the biggest points in wicca is how the female and male aspects compliment each other and each should be valued. The polarity and yin yang type concept, rituals are very gendered. Non binary clashes strongly with Wicca, I was into it for years, initiated in a coven etc. I would call a nonbinary "witch" a major poser myself. Like being a gay Christian. The lifestyle clashes the religion.
I was the same as that woman - was a tomboy growing up, hated when my body started developing, wore tight sports bras to hide my breasts, felt like wanting to be a boy. It didn't help that I was being bullied. once I hit my mid-20s I started accepting my body more and now I'm fairly feminine and happy with the way I look. So many other tomboys I've spoken to have gone through this phase. It's a PHASE.
Every time I watch one of your videos I can’t express how much I appreciate your honesty. You save lives even if you don’t realize it! The work you do matters greatly! So thank you so much❤️
I had that feelings too in my youth.. i hated all feminin aspects of my body, because i hated what i thought i women is /most be. I was a tomboy girlish thing were revolting to me. Then feminism told..men have it easy, women are oppressed. Therefore i wanted to be a boy. Today i do understand, thst the selfhatered and depression had its roots in my childhood and feminism. Today, after therapy, i am free of both..iam a women and a humanist/equalist, and thats it.
Non-Binary feels very much like opting-out. It's intimidating to be perceived as a woman, you are expected to be pretty, kind, good at make-up, fashion, hair, and are assumed to want to be maternal and want lots of kids. Pregnancy can kill you, it's normal to be afraid of going through it. A lot of us were cat-called as young teens, it's very uncomfortable and so some chose to hide their bodies with baggy clothes and multiple layers, thinking it would save them from harassment -unfortunately it isn't 100% effective. I'm not saying men don't have expectations, but there are just so many enby females, that it seems rather obvious that a lot of their reasoning for identifying as enbies, is down to internalised misogyny/homophobia, rejection of society's sexist expectations, and a fear of being sexualised by men. It's obvious to me, because I had that internalised misogyny, as cringe-inducing as that phrase is, it's very real, and I would have previously labelled it a bullshit theory.
I can’t believe how this person literally describes religious trauma and doesn’t realize that’s the exact source of their problems with gender identity (or more likely internalized misogyny)
“The way you express yourself in your gender, that’s fluid. Gender itself on the other hand, not fluid. “ 👏🏾👏🏾 Love this. I am loving your videos. Great informative content and I love your perspective. So level headed. It’s refreshing. Thank you. Keep it up! 🙏🏽
I hate dresses and I'm only fond of skirts for a few days during the month. I'm not a feminine woman and that's fine because feminity doesn't define womanhood, otherwise every effeminate person will be thought of as a woman (and I'm pretty sure that line of thought used to be discouraged.) To this day I've yet to find a definitive meaning or gauge to what qualifies someone as non-binary apart from "it's how I feel" said in a myriad of ways. I'm not saying there aren't folks who get dysphoria and don't know where they fall as yet, but the majority of these folks are perfectly fine with their bodies and associate any normal discomfort with an identity. And when having an identity means having clout… you end up where we are now. Plus there is no way to disprove a vague feeling that means something different to everyone, including nothing. The danger with this "gender" is that it reinforces old stereotypes to a degree that would make the super strict church I grew up in jealous (women/girls weren't allowed to wear pants kind of strict). I honestly don't get how these people don't hear what they're saying and ascribing to. Their vague nonsense will set everything back by decades. Being average is fine. I thought the point was to make everything average so people will be judged solely based on themselves. Where race, sex, sexuality, gender will be as notable as a hair color.
I would ask said girls when they were last assessed for a mental disorder. Not giving anyone judgmental vibes but maybe their suffering from something. I’m gender queer bio female and I’m also on Celexa. My expression of my gender is also an expression of my mental health. I feel I’m mentally healthy, but to say I’m normal by any means is laughable. Again, thank you Marcus for giving us nuggets of truth. Stay fabulously amazing ❤️❤️❤️
Bro I love the way you use your brain and explain things rationally and with sense. I like the way you use your experience and don’t belittle people. Love your work
In my 57 years as a resident of Earth, I find this current generation of young people to be the most cringe of all so far. Imagine how they're going to feel when they're my age explaining to their kids and grandkids, what in the absolute hell they were thinking. You have to be really privaliged, well off and spoiled, that the most important thing, the thing that defines your being, is your gender. This world is going to be your responsibility one day. Think about how you want your children to view what YOUR contribution to it all was. And if your view is to not have children, then all of your selfish behaviors will not be passed on to the next generation. Your story ends when you do, with no legacy. No one to pass your story down to. Friends are one thing, but only Family can keep your legacy alive.
Pretty sure I’m the same religion, and I had the same experience. There is a lot of emphasis on the role of men and women in the family. So I felt a lot of the pressure from those expectations. Then I grew up and realized that I don’t have to give up my individual identity for my religion or vise versa. They weren’t mutually exclusive. The friends I grew up with who don’t to be involved with our church anymore usually have done so because they felt they had to choose. But I believe god loves who we are.
I was recommended your video reacting to Matt Walsh's documentary and have been binging for over a week! Don't know how I stumbled into all the trans/woman/woke algorithm, but I'm here for it. You make me so happy that there are still sane people...the crazy ones are just the loudest. Keep spreading the truth and love!!! I also LOVE your accent and find your voice so very calming. New subscriber from Georgia in the good ol' U S of A!
I LOVE hearing people who are actually trans discuss some of the insanity we are hearing. I have dealt with my daughter falling into the trans Tik-Tok rabbit hole and it was difficult bc no matter how supportive I am of the well being of trans people, it was never ever good enough. It's like there is a strict dogma that if u don't follow it, u are the enemy. I think part of it is that young (11 -16y) girls (and boys too) are looking for ways to find control and rebel to an extent...It's normal. The trans dogma is perfect for teens to villify their parents and have the whole world tell them how brave they are. The trans dogma seems to be the perfect brick wall to put up that is impenetrable to criticizm. Tik-Tok is dangerous. And I want to be clear, I am all for adults making decisions and for EVERYONE to be who they are....but this has gotten crazy, especially when involving kids.
I’m late to this video, but thank you. I’ve been feeling horrifically disillusioned of late. And it is so refreshing to find people in my generation (I think?) who are still able to look logically and rationally at the world and have discourse rather than shut down any dialogue. Really appreciate what you do.
I was a teenager in the late eighties/early nineties. I HATE wearing dresses and have always felt a bit on the masculine side. I also cringed at the gender stereotypes the religious system I grew up under espoused (sounds like it's the same one), but I thank God this non binary mumbo jumbo wasn't around back then! Who knows what kind of a mess I would be now.
Around the time I got my period I went full tomboy mode. Boy clothes, boy toys, boy interests etc etc. My family thought I was a lesbian but never said a word or questioned me because they let me do my thing & have my interests (told me later in life what they thought). I'm quite feminine now, pregnant, and want to be a homemaker lol. I'm just gad I'm not 10 in this day and age because I definitely would've been directed down the trans or nb path. I feel so bad for so many kids that aren't being given a chance to find themselves without the intervention or persuasion of others in their life or on the internet.
What this person is describing is how I felt growing up. The difference is that I knew I was just a woman/female with different interests and ways of expressing myself than others. And when I figured that out I felt much better and personally consider my tomboyness just as feminine as girly girlness. I might not like myself part taking in such stuff but I don't see girls that do much different from myself and all of us are valid as women and shouldn't feel ashamed or less than just because we don't fit an exact mold
I love your common sense brain! I have recently been diagnosed autistic, so I find it difficult to see anything other than "binary." It doesn't matter how masculine or feminine presenting I only see 2. Whether you transition into the opposite gender, it's still 2. Even gender non conforming, I still see one or the other. Contrary to what leftist autistic content shows on social media, I sometimes feel like the only one with thought process so it is fantastic to see content creators like you, Blaire, buck, Ariella and rose of dawn. I've always struggled with my body, I think if I was 10 years younger i'd go down this "non binary" train. It's important to realise when you're young you go through so many phases and sometimes they don't stick, I've been through plenty, I am female sometimes I'm not comfortable but that doesn't make me 'less female.' love your content. 🙂
How do you not have like a million subscribers?! You are great! You are just so real and sweet and honest! If you have a moment could you give me your thoughts on something? Do you think it would be a good thing if people were working on a cure for gender dysphoria? Like a certain therapy or more likely a medication that would actually stop your brain from feeling gender dysphoria and just be happy/comfortable in the body you were born in? Thanks again! 🙏🏻 😊
@@riotwrrrwolf4590 transitioning isn’t a cure! Plenty to possibly all people who get the surgeries will still feel levels of gender dysphoria, because it is a mental condition and changing your body doesn’t change your brain, not to mention it’s not actually possible to change from one sex to another, atleast not in humans..also suicide rates are still exceptionally high even after the surgeries, and the surgeries themselves are experimental, have a really high complication rate, they are very dangerous and are not reversible, same with hormones and puberty blockers… non of that is what “cure” looks like. I meant a cure for the actual mental/psychological condition, one that can help someone be happy/comfortable in the body they were born in, one that would stop or extremely lower the suicide and suicidal ideation rate.
This is right on point- thanks so very much for what you are doing here- this young woman is caught up in an ideology that is bullshit, and it just makes me sad so many lost souls are having so much influence over what we can and cannot say, and actual biological truth-. You speak the truth, and you know where this gal really is at. It's people like you whom I look up to and just am so very grateful for. Keep this going , you are on my must watch list now!
I hated my body and female stereotypes and didn’t feel feminine nor did I like how I looked with dresses, up until around 20, and even then it was a slow growing into my own femininity and feeling comfortable with my body. I feel what she’s expressing is not a “non binary” experience… it’s just human experience and getting to know who you are in this world. Being a woman is not just confirming to societal stereotypes…
This type of content is not really an area of huge interest for me, but I've been ricocheting around "anti-leftist" topics lately, especially in the wake of Matt Walsh's "What Is a Woman?" documentary. After watching a few of your videos I must say that you have incredibly clear and levelheaded opinions on gender ideology, and I hope that your voice and subscriber base grows!
Honestly some times the only time I feel like a woman... Is on my period - yet I know I'm a cis woman - I just don't dress girly or act feminine most of the time so... APPARENTLY I'M NON BINARY NOW 💀💀
I’m an androgynous looking woman who often gets mistaken for a dude in the restrooms. I’m also a butch lesbian with a fade haircut but I embrace being a woman. My two cents is that we all have two energies (masculine and feminine) I am naturally in my masculine energy. Some people may find this offensive but it makes sense to me. I can still be a woman and dress ‘masculine’ and have mannerisms most people would say is masculine.
i don't know a single human that hasn't disliked their body at some point in life...... thats being human and having emotions and a brain that is not taught to be still.........but being trans is a whole other science lesson kids
Random girl: "but i dont like wearing dresses" Her the day after "so anyway i started identifying as a toaster because i clearly wasn't a girl. Refer to me as deez/nuts"
You surprised the fuck out of me when you statted singing! 😅❤ You have great pipes, but also want to let you know how much you are appreciated. Totally wish more people had the balls(metaphorical if you want) to talk about these touchy subjects. Youre a breath of fresh air.
Does it seem to anyone else that "non-binary" is like a safety net, or escape hatch? All of the natural struggles we go through in reaching adulthood is now easily attributed to gender, trans, or non-binary. Life just doesn't reduce itself that easily. It's not the 'label' that solves (or causes) real problems, it's learning about yourself and growing into adulthood... which too many young (and older) people seem to be avoiding in every way possible. Just my thoughts... PS - Love your channel, Marcus, you speak with clarity, reason, and common sense - while sharing your experiences. You're a good man.
0:43 I'm curious whether it's a Neurological or Psychological reason. Which word is correct and why? Like Tourette's are Neurological because it has to do with the neurons/electrical signals.
Neurological. It's not proven yet, because it can be inconsistent, but there's some findings that come in Neurological Sciences books that say, for instance, trans women have some brain structures which are smaller than men's, but almost the same size as women's, which could explain it.
Like a left-handed. You cannot force somebody to write their right hand because it is going to cause learning difficults. From my dyslexic aspect definitely only logical reason to have dysphoria as biological way. Back in the 20 century, there was some German researching that there are people who cannot learn to read and they give them a name. There was no MRI technology, but they know something going on as well as 90's, 2000's finally reached the point where trying to solve the problem as a global scale.
I am a 100% cis woman, heterosexual even. Yet, even I have experienced not wanting to be seen as woman, but just as myself when I hit puberty and my growing features were very noticeable. I think this is the rite of passage from girlhood to adolescence. We are still not old enough at that age to be seen as sexual, and yet our sex organs do become more apparent. It is uncomfortable as hell and this is one of the reasons puberty sucks. Imagine being that girl in class, who starts developing first amongst her agegroup and just wants to crawl into a hole... I'm not trying to belittle the experience but make sense of it, it is very common. It does not necessarily have anything to do with gender dysphoria, body image issues or sexual orientation or expression or identity.
oh my. as a lady who wore a dandy and elegant masculine outfit for prom and still looking and feeling feminine and awesome these sort of ppl make me laugh and cry at the same time. pathetic. marcus, it is so lovely that you make these sorts of videos. thank you
One thing, I struggled with something similar most of my life as this girl. I called myself a “dog in a dress”. Feminine clothes just “don’t look right on me”. It’s not natural looking. However, once I am in my 30s and pursuing my desired career goals, feel stable in life and confidence in myself that all changed. Now I feel I can embrace being a woman. I was afraid of being “seen” and noticed. So I avoided feminine things bc I was afraid I would not be liked. Easier for me to just hide who I was than to be hurt and not accepted. It took a lot. Just saying that isn’t a “sign” of something other than that you need to examine an underlying issue or feeling.
in 7th grade i was confused about my identity and anxiety contributed to that i gave the whole thing to much thought while all along i could have just embraced my femininity without worrying about what others thought of me. Now i'm be happy being me without aiming to be perceived a certain way no box no pronoun change just living the way i want with no problem i should have known it wasn't all that complicated. I'm in 8th now :)
I think it is pretty common for girls to almost feel a bit of imposter syndrome when they first start to develop traits of an adult female body. They spent their whole life so far with a body that is pretty neutral other than genitalia but you can sort of be teased just for growing up even by your own family and also bullied at school almost as if body development was a right of passage and you're made to feel like you don't even have a right to enter into the "grown ups club" and must stay a pre pubescent child forever because they say so. I used to wear baggy clothes to hide my body development for example. Despite this, I never thought I was anything other than a girl/woman and I eventually got over that stuff. There's also lots of women that are not feminine. I never wear dresses but that doesn't make me a man or non binary....how ridiculous is that?!?!?!
"The way you express yourself in your gender is fluid; Gender itself on the other hand is Not." *SLOW * *CLAP * *FOR* *THAT* That may possibly be the Most Excellent and Succinct explanation I have EVER Heard, and I think I will appropriate it to use in these kinds of discussions from now on, THank you!!!
