Ambassador BeKwaz from Gitzorpia -- Hello Hello New Mexico has got Problems! 

Whenever there are problems, one needs to find the CAUSE of the problems and one only need look as far as the organization of women called EMERGE. This far left group has been infiltrating New Mexico like no other state! Why would that be? Well, New Mexico has a Sovereign Fund of 50 billion dollars sitting around... you know the movie "Dune"?
Vladimir Harkonnen says that he who controls the spice controls the universe. This quote is usually credited to Frank Herbert, but it bears pondering...