Analyzing My Jokes | Don McMillan Comedy

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Let's do some joke analysis!
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America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.
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Опубликовано:

5 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 129

@PsychoSavager289 Месяц назад

A biologist, a physicist and a chemist go to the beach together. The biologist decides to go for a swim and dives underwater. But while he's underwater, he gets distracted by all the wildlife. So much in fact that he forgets to come up and drowns. The physicist notices the biologist has been gone for a while and goes underwater to look for him. But while he's down there, he gets distracted by the fluid dynamics of the waves and the variations in pressure at depths. He too forgets to come up and drowns. The chemist, who observed both of them going into the ocean and disappearing, gets out his lab book and writes "The biologist and physicist are soluble in water."

@jonathannash8471 15 дней назад

As a Chemist, I approve of this joke. Now if only Physicists actually were soluble in water...

@angeladawn805 7 дней назад

😂

@Theoneandonlytster 4 дня назад

I audibly laughed very loudly 😂

@bernarduy7576 4 дня назад

Water is the universal solvent.

@secretweapon7764 Месяц назад

Even worse for the electron. Now that he's been detected, not only is he lost, but he can only drive down 1 lane instead of waving down both of them.

@Mutrax4706 Месяц назад

i find it sad that i found it funny

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

... or going for some scraggy loops around Earth & Moon, since there would still be plenty of time to meet the lonely & desperate atom in the bar later again 🙃

@phastinemoon 9 дней назад

It took me a minute, but the guffaw I let out was worth it!

@japethstevens8473 18 дней назад

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. "How much?", he asks. The bartender says, "To you, no charge."

@ayabie819 Месяц назад

Lmao, I've heard the last joke before in a different, even more nerdy version. I've found it, so for anyone interested, enjoy: Heisenberg, Schrödinger, and Ohm are on a road trip and they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?” "No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies. The cop says “You were going 80 miles an hour.” Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!” The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?” “We do now, asshole!” shouts Schrödinger. The cop tries to arrest them. Ohm resists.

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

I'm missing "Watt?" here 😉

@rocketfighter8 Месяц назад

Schrödinger's Cat is a famous thought experiment that demonstrates the idea in quantum physics that tiny particles can be in two states at once until they're observed. It asks you to imagine a cat in a box with a mechanism that might kill it. Until you look inside, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time.

@Mat-oh3xe Месяц назад

i think that joke is easier to understand because of the line i know exactly where i am.

@melodymonger Месяц назад

I like it 😂👏

@AttilaAsztalos Месяц назад

A variation (a very loose one, granted) has a physicist getting pulled over for running a red light. Which he tries to justify as Doppler shift - "what I saw was green light, honest!". At which point the physics-savvy cop books him FOR SPEEDING at a substantial fraction of the speed of light... ;)

@CyberKnight1 Месяц назад

Cool, this is one instance where I can say "I am the 1%!"

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

Try writing intelligent & humorous replies to comments on YT for non-science related topics where people need to read bit between the lines. Then count the likes; and put them in relation to the top-level / initial comment. That could easily be the (1 - 3-sigma; to be correct given the potential audience here) or 0.1% challenge …

@laurendoe168 Месяц назад

I live my life as that 1%.

@AttilaAsztalos Месяц назад

...just don't try that in a biker bar.

@jimwormmaster 29 дней назад

Same! I love that joke.

@Milesco 28 дней назад

Me too! 😄 ⚛

@Ryvaken Месяц назад

"You have to understand the Heisen-" And at that moment, I started laughing.

@joedoe7572 Месяц назад

Yeah, that's when it clicked for me too

@flapjacki9579 Месяц назад

Started something again, huh? Catalysts just never change!

@fictionfan0 17 дней назад

I don't know if I should laugh or slap you. Have a like instead.

@useruser6240 Месяц назад

Making a joke out of a nerdy joke is pure talent...even funnier 😂

@kenr86 Месяц назад

When I studied physics at University, one of the professors told our class "Chemistry is just outer-orbital physics"

@korbacwystan9333 3 дня назад

And physics is just applied maths, dude!

@rocketfighter8 Месяц назад

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: We cannot know both the position and speed of a particle (eg. an electron) with perfect accuracy. 😂⚛😂⚛😂

@slluky Месяц назад

Thank you! This was faster than googling it would've been. 😄

@慈愛と寛容の白翼 Месяц назад

Thanks for that. Now I'm part of the 1%

@bipolarminddroppings Месяц назад

I wish I'd been in that audience, I would have been laughing very loudly alone at the end, just like I was watching it in my garage at home. That's a great joke if you're a physics nerd.

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

RE "... like I was watching it (Don) in my garage at home." ... just wonder if Don picks that up for one the next episodes ... 😉

@dampfwasi Месяц назад

The electron one IS funny. And I will tell it to my colleagues. And I will get strange looks.

@brucemcdonald8529 Месяц назад

Always entertaining, thanks!!!

@Falcrist Месяц назад

These are the dumbest jokes, but I keep coming back! 😂

@suki757 26 дней назад

I love this guy! 💕

@wickedbird1538 Месяц назад

😮😮My husband thought the last joke was funny. I didn’t understand it and asked him to explain. He said it wouldn’t do any good because I don’t have a sense of humor. He is currently in the trunk, I have not looked to see if he is still alive.

@RandomCritic1 Месяц назад

The atom joke has always bugged me. Why would the atom be sad if it lost an electron and is now positive? That's why I don't like this joke; it's very ionic.

@sharit7970 16 дней назад

...you didn't...

@draheim90 29 дней назад

Apparently I’m in the 1% as I died laughing at that last one.

@AttilaAsztalos Месяц назад

Machinist version: a Sine Bar and a Boring Bar walk into a... wait, what?

@oz_jones 24 дня назад

The jig is up!

@lukequigley121 12 дней назад

CNC guy 28yrs ..My bed is not soft..

@DrDaveSalisburyPhDMBA 25 дней назад

I love his jokes!

@TheSilliestGoose731 28 дней назад

I searched up the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle specifically for this joke and now I get it

@benrex7775 22 дня назад

Now that a week has passed, can you still explain it to me without looking it up?

@northernsnow6982 10 дней назад

@benrex7775 It's not difficult to remember. According to the theory, we can't precisely know both how fast the electron is going and its position at the same time. Since the cop told him precisely how fast he was going, he doesn't know where he is. If you can't remember that after a week, that is sad.

@benrex7775 10 дней назад

@@northernsnow6982 I know the principle. But if someone just looks it up for the joke then chances are that they won't remember it after a few days.

@northernsnow6982 10 дней назад

@benrex7775 It's not a complicated theory. People can remember things they've talked about online. The funny part about the joke is how the cop got the electron to stop and pull over. And I bet you'll remember me mentioning this part in more than a week, and you weren't even interested in looking this up. If someone comes back in a month and asks you what I thought was the funniest part about the joke, you should be able to remember. Just because someone didn't hear or know a thing prior to looking it up doesn't equate to them not remembering. I was only taught once that a skull and crossbones on a label means it's likely poison, and I remembered the symbol. I was 4 or 5 watching cartoons. I still remembered the fact in grade 7 when my teacher asked the class what the symbol means. So, 8 years later, I remembered a fact I learned only once at a young age. I also remember this happening, which only happened once. About 6 months ago, I was talking to someone from the USA who thought their population was around 1/4 of the worlds population. I looked or up, and they are just over 5% of the worlds population. Something I didn't know before looking it up, yet I've still retained the knowledge from one random pointless google search. 🤯 If your memory is that bad, I feel sympathy for anyone who has ever tried teaching you any theory at all.

@gamefacierglitches 17 дней назад

Searched up the uncertainty principal and I chuckled. I have joined the 1%

@lidar37 Месяц назад

I got all of these jokes! 😂 Guess I don't have a life. 🤔🙄😢

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

No reason to be scared as long as you're still able to get some food and watch Don on YT 😉

@omnivore2220 Месяц назад

...but...but...the cop was apparently able to measure both his speed and his position... What's up with THAT, Man?

@LolSho0orTs 12 дней назад

Nerd detected 😂

@LolSho0orTs 12 дней назад

Now I want his respond to this 😂, but hey he knows his location so the electron is not moving anymore

@jonathanjohnston9272 4 дня назад

He borrowed a Heisenberg Compensator from Starfleet

@realGBx64 Месяц назад

I am a chemist and my first thought was also “this isn’t a physics joke, it is a chemistry joke”. 😂😂

@oz_jones 24 дня назад

Don't be that guy.

@NRZ-3Pi10 Месяц назад

Thanks so much Don! First intelligent statements today after full working day in `high tech biz´ - lmao 🤣

@adriansolis5362 Месяц назад

You absolutely got me with the heisenberg uncertainty principle 😂

@1mdlmusic 28 дней назад

“Did you know neutrons have no mass?” “I didn’t even know they were Catholic”

@suedohnim8019 25 дней назад

The mass of a neutron is approximately 1.675 × 10⁻²⁷ kilograms (or 1.675 × 10³ MeV/c² in energy units).

@gary.h.turner 15 дней назад

It's neutrinos that have (nearly) no mass. Of course, photons really do have no mass - that's why they're so "light"! 😂

@ricead 3 дня назад

The having a sense of humour bubble should have been a lot bigger. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The landlord serves the beer and the neutron asks, "how much?". The landlord says, "for you, no charge ".

@synthdude 15 дней назад

A bass player walks in a bar. Bandleader: "keep it in two!"

@SarahJonestoo 10 дней назад

Fabulous!

@gardenjoy5223 Месяц назад

When I see Don uploaded something, I click, watch and laugh. Very predictable. But I must say, I'd like to understand that last joke about being lost? Don't know the principle.

@logaandm Месяц назад

I'm a nerd so... The uncertainty principle says you can't know where something is at the same time as knowing how fast it's going. So, when the electron learns how fast it was going, it doesn't know where it is. Not just the uncertainty prinicple but also the measurement problem - related to Schrodinger's cat. Very clever joke.

@gardenjoy5223 Месяц назад

@@logaandm Thank you, dear nerd!

@pierrelevasseur2701 Месяц назад

Now I get it.

@alexanderzack3720 2 дня назад

his math is flawed: i´ve never been in a barfight but i still understood the joke

@gary.h.turner 15 дней назад

A police officer flags down Heisenberg when he is driving too fast. Policeman: "Do you know what speed you were doing?" Heisenberg: "Well, I'm not really sure!" (Pause) Heisenberg: "This leaves me in an awkward position." Policeman: "I'm not certain it does, sir!"

@edwardrhoads7283 11 дней назад

Finally, I am the 1%!

@grimftl Месяц назад

I've taught chem, phys and I have an MS in EE, and I *still* didn't get the lost electron joke! 😄

@rocketfighter8 Месяц назад

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle states that we cannot know both the position and speed of an electron with perfect accuracy. (I was in the nuclear field for almost 40 years). 😂

@FrankAnzalone Месяц назад

That was the 3rd joke the 1st joke was that atom ave ballanced charges elections are negative if you lose one the atom becomes positive 😊

@robertkeddie Месяц назад

Sir/Madam, You need to be ashamed of yourself, and should consider unsubscribing from this channel. (It's okay - I'm just teasing. In case you're not one of the 3% of youtube watchers who have a sense of humour and recognise irony.)

@vsubhuti 27 дней назад

Wow you must have studied at trump university we forgive you. Not your fault

@benrex7775 22 дня назад

I hope with EE you don't mean electrical engineering.

@callyral 29 дней назад

OOH that last one took me a while. The cop detected the electron's speed, which means its position is now uncertain

@laloduron_phd Месяц назад

this guy makes me laugh. 😂

@fredericjaquet3729 13 часов назад

YAY ! I'm a 1%er ! 😂

@realbigsquid Месяц назад

Hey Don! Met you in Tacoma the other day. We had so much fun!

@mattguey-lee4845 18 дней назад

I think the electron needs a delorean Time Machine.

@andyharman3022 17 дней назад

How did the cop ever catch him? Seems like 88 mph would be fast enough for the electron to make a quantum leap. 88 mph worked well enough for Marty McFly to trigger the 1.21 gigawatts...

@rageonyx Месяц назад

Thanks. I must be in the 1% because I laughed out loud at joke 3.

@AnAgingNerd 12 дней назад

I got the third one! Hence why I am an aging nerd. (Didn't know the name, but I was like "oh, that thing where you can know at any given time how fast something is moving or it's location but not both at the same time!" The reason I did not know the Principle name, but how it works? I'm a Literary Nerd from a family of Scientists (related to a geneticist, 2 chem e's, and 3 doctors/nurses).

@andreykarbinovskiy430 13 дней назад

Damn, I got all three jokes

@richardmacdonald6303 2 дня назад

Pozezi pulls Dr Heisenberg for speeding, walks up to the car and says, Herr Doktor, do you know hoe fast you were driving? Dr Heisenberg replies: No, but I know where I am.

@solanaceae2069 Месяц назад

Good stuff!

@benrex7775 22 дня назад

According to the Bayesian rule you should say how high the likelyhood is in this audience, as this audience has a higher likelyhood of possessing humor and a higher likelyhood of being knowledgeable of engineering and physics principles. Considering these two conditions you have to rework the percentages of how many people get the joke, compared to the general population.

@irenerosenberg3609 5 дней назад

My problem with the last joke was the number 88 seemed to have some significance. I think the joke would hit faster if a different number were used.

@jediping Месяц назад

At least I’m part of a 1%, even if not the one with all the money. :)

@dualzerth1871 26 дней назад

that last joke is actually fuckign genius

@ianross1608 29 дней назад

The atom joke is chemistry

@SojournerDidimus 25 дней назад

Are you drunk?

@andrewpeacock4695 29 дней назад

The first joke was hardly new. I first heard it over 40 years ago, when I was a chemistry major.

@itsamindgame9198 Месяц назад

Looks like I am in the 1%. Laughed out loud and then got dragged down the rabbit hole trying to explain it.

@BeenThrDunThat Месяц назад

Not exactly the one-percenter I was hoping to be...

@Avram42 27 дней назад

A mathematician and an engineer were placed in a room with a beautiful naked woman on the other side. The proctor says over the intercom, “every time the bell rings you can move half the distance to the woman.” The mathematician gets furious and leaves, saying to the engineer on the way out, “You fool! Don’t you understand you can never actually reach the woman?” The engineer smirks, “true, but sooner or later I’ll get close enough for all intents and purposes.”

@Avram42 27 дней назад

Where's the venn diagram for zeno's paradox, engineering principals and a sense of humor? (I've told this joke in a far more ribald way, this was just a version I snagged off reddit)

@David_Crayford 21 день назад

The *Psychologist* uncovers the mathematician is a member of: shy / asexual / female / gay man, and is using the paradox as a social pretext to leave. The *Buddhist Monk* and the *Lycra Clad Cyclist* both bring their own bells, and start ringing constantly. The *Musician Johnny B. Goode* plays his guitar just like ringing a bell, and moves forward with each beat. The *Software Engineer* optimises the system code so distance is a constant, and makes the move in 2 bells. And The *Black Hat Consultant* escalates his privilages, bypasses the proctor's authority, and crosses the room in a single bound.

@jamesrodgers3132 5 дней назад

But atoms don't travel at discrete energy levels. That's electrons he's thinking of.

@benjaminmorris4962 15 дней назад

Technically, it's an ion rather than an atom... Atoms are neutral due to an equal number of protons and electrons, ions have charge (positive or negative) due to an inequal number of protons and electrons

@anonundeclared1864 11 дней назад

And I was in that 1% on that last joke . . . :(

@jakeg3126 Месяц назад

Should’ve asked if the 2 could explain it to everyone else for him

@SojournerDidimus 25 дней назад

Man, that #3 cracked me up! (sad me...)

@xislomega242 24 дня назад

The last joke about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle didn't land because the principle was not highlighted properly. I was familiar with the principle even prior to hearing the joke, but I was looking for generally simpler context clues, not necessarily pretaining to the uncertainty principle. If instead, for example, the electron in the joke just vanished from his car, the joke would've landed that much better.

@gary.h.turner 15 дней назад

But it wouldn't have been so funny - hence the Venn diagram circle saying you also need a sense of humour!