Anger Management for Parents

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Are you a parent whose kids make them angry every day? Learn some really practical strategies on how to keep anger under control.
In this expanded conversation we go over tips to handle our anger that is triggered by our children and family situations.
The most important of these is setting up a RELATIONSHIP SAFETY TEAM.
#1 - YOU
#2 - Your Spouse or Partner
#3 - Your Children
In each area we talk about how to use the Team Members to optimize communication in our homes. It is good COMMUNICATION that will make all the difference in your homes. Each Team Member can help make this happen.
If you have questions, feel free to email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com. Listen to my podcasts at PARENTING DECODED on any podcasting site.
0:00 Introduction
1:08 Parents and Anger
5:49 Does Yelling Work Sometimes... but...
6:30 Effects of Fear
9:01 Does Nagging Work
12:15 Does Punishing Work
14:36 Long Term?
16:10 Safe Relationships
16:21 Relationship Safety Team
16:44 Safety Team #2
30:44 Safety Team Goal?
31:08 Triggers?
31:50 Set Loving Limits
36:52 Allow mistakes
40:17 OBSERVATION
50:00 FUN STORY
52:38 Need help
53:21 You lube Videos
53:34 March Seminar
54:49 The End -- Questions
‪@parentingdecoded8962‬

Опубликовано:

21 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 33

@ADjustinG2013 10 месяцев назад

But why do we respond with anger in the first place? Most often because we are overworked and under resourced. These lessons are a great tool to assist but until the system changes, a lot of us will remain on edge.

@meschen8347 10 месяцев назад

I can’t agree more. Stress and over work seems endemic. Slowing down helps but it doesn’t seem to be the way of this world. I pray for all parents in this challenging world and hope a few of these ideas impact you positively in some small way.

@HappinessForMoms 7 месяцев назад

That is such a great question. I keep questioning that myself to help me get in check with what really matters. When my emotions take over, I try to breathe to reassess and distant myself from the situation, and in the scheme of things, I often realise, the things that I stress over are often trivial and it helps me put things back into perspective. Better late than never I guess :) Unfortunately the system won't change, but we can change how we respond to it.

@AbdulazizAlAzmi-pu7ns 4 месяца назад

I extremely like the video, man. Very helpful and informative. Thank you very much. It is presented so well too. Great, positive work.

@jamieyuan8703 3 года назад

Mary does a great job providing strategies and tries to address behaviors at multiple ages! Loving all of her podcasts and videos so far!

@jenniferhsiehod 3 года назад

Mary always gives amazing and super useful tips for parents! Thank you!

@ethio-alem5989 Год назад

Very true, thank you so much for sharing

@sinemugurbilgin7880 5 месяцев назад

WOOW this video answered all my questions at the moment! What a mind opening conversation

@AlmaMariaRinasz 2 года назад

Having a version of this webinar but for single parents would be really helpful

@parentingdecoded8962 6 месяцев назад

Yes, you'd just need to skip over Step #2 and go right to #3 to recruit your kids to be a part of the solution. I hope to deal with that in the future. Feel free to email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com for extra suggestions.

@sqrfoot6548 4 месяца назад

It's stress and dirty for me that come out as anger. Usually the expectations imposed by other adults that stresses me out and then I take it out on the kids. Getting ready on time for school for example.

@HappinessForMoms 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing these great tips. It is such a challenge navigating discipline and managing emotions. I don't think there is ever that perfect balance, because child/parent/situation is different. I found that used to be much angrier but with self work and awareness I was able to challenge what was really important to me and some things just weren't worth stressing over. I don't think it's something we will ever perfect, but with effort and consistency, we can better at managing our emotions. Thanks for the positive messages. I especially like using non verbal cues to de-escalate anger. Sometimes we need that reminder.

@meschen8347 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for you comments. I think non-verbal queues can work magic IF we can put them into practice. 👍

@michealvega3695 3 года назад

Take kids iPads and phones away watch the difference and I mean take them away for good get them books and get off social media yourself you’ll feel the difference within a week and in a month or 2 you’ll be completely different

@parentingdecoded8962 6 месяцев назад

Screens are certainly a really hot button and make our kids react when we take them away. It's easier to do this when they're in elementary school but in the long run having discussions with our kids and a trusting relationship that's built over time will keep things healthier in the long run. Take a listen to my RU-vid on Screentime Battles: How to Win Them for more ideas on the subject.

@natalkarusalka1 5 месяцев назад

It was so helpful and clear ❤

@jennifersavidge4044 4 месяца назад

She is hitting every thing that upsets me. Especially the screaming kids and sibling fights.

@littlemrs.fabulous9432 7 месяцев назад

What about hitting kicking and scratching? My toddler is 2 almost 3 and absolutely beautiful and smart and funny and sweet... But when she gets mad or frustrated she will smack me or kick me or other objects or scratch me. I put her in timeout but I'm just not how effective it is because she keeps doing it. I try to offer to talk about our feelings and help her figure out the words and validate her "i understand you are angry because you can't have candy right now, I would be upset too, mommy is making dinner right now and after dinner maybe we can have candy." But idk I'm not sure if I'm doing things right. And yes I always get down on her level.

@HappinessForMoms 7 месяцев назад

Kudos to you. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. It is not easy. I applaud you for your patience and creating a space for to talk about feelings. Every positive effort adds up, even if small... stay strong and positive... you are facing the right direction :)

@littlemrs.fabulous9432 7 месяцев назад

@@HappinessForMoms thank you

@parentingdecoded8962 6 месяцев назад

It is so important to let your child have feelings and to validate them. My overall recommendation is that give love and empathy DURING the tantrum and then afterward when everyone is calm you brainstorm about what happened and how we can behave differently in the future. When our kids brains are full of emotion they just can't process solutions even though we as parents are ready to solve things. Putting them in time out might give you time to breath but you need to come back and do problem solving if you want to make a difference in the long run.

@parentingdecoded8962 Год назад

I've updated this talk and you can find it on my RU-vid channel! It's now called BEING A CALM PARENT. The video quality is MUCH better so please go view it instead of this video although the content is the same. Enjoy! -- Mary

@KaydenB839 Год назад

maybe this will help my dad calm down but good job

@syriasoto3037james9 3 года назад

What age is appropriate for them to be responsible? As far as picking up shoes or putting toys away

@parentingdecoded8962 3 года назад

Kids can start being responsible from a very young age, even as young as 2. I think having them help do things like picking up toys and setting the table can happen by 3 and 4. Kids tend to want the love and positive attention they can get from parents who help them learn to help around the house. If you make it fun with music or even just attention from you it can work wonders toward building self-esteem. There are lots of ideas on Episode 14 of my podcast "Parenting Decoded". For more good hints, my RU-vid video called "Getting Kids to Listen" is a good one to watch. Feel free to email me mary@parentingdecoded.com if you'd like more ideas. Happy to help!

@gilbertocintron461 2 года назад

When they start listening to u and understanding anything u are saying

@HappinessForMoms 7 месяцев назад

I have started incorporating evening rituals with my 6 year old. He loves helping and feeling responsible. But it has to come from a place of positive reinforcement, otherwise it's not sustainable. Nagging takes alot of effort and very little return. He keeps reminding me of how responsible he is and how much of big kid he is :)

@jabroski69 Год назад

Hi class. I'm only here bc this came across my Instagram feed I have done nothing wrong just wanted to clarify this.... 👀 I'm jk yeah this is my penance 😂 Never get mad at your kids for wanting snacks they are growing but make sure they ain't getting fat 18:00 nope nope nope you are the parent stay in control but don't get triggered calmly with a smile on your face tell them they want to rethink their decisions from this point forward bc they just might live to regret it. 40:44 lower your voice request they clean it up and if they don't let them know they will not have access to the bathroom or kitchen nothing in nothing out until they clean it and the longer they wait make sure they clean it more throughly like my kids would wait 3 days bc they are trying to break me but if I do that it breaks them faster I kinda get it now instead of making them suffer the negative get them to suffer from their choices (to some extent I guess but this is why we have millenials chopping there weiners off and calling themselves girls and why the other half of them are mass murderers they have to have some sort of authority in their life so their brains don't make horrible connections

@parentingdecoded8962 6 месяцев назад

Allowing our kids to have natural consequences for their poor decisions is essential for them learning many lessons in life. Like your bathroom example, letting them deal with the mess days later when dealing with it the first day would have been easier is something I'm guessing your kids know by now. The first time we step in to take over it all the sudden becomes our job and our kids are off the hook. Holding steady when we set boundaries is the key.

@safanamakhdoomable 2 года назад

So my kid runs away in the middle of dinner repeatedly. How to deal?

@parentingdecoded8962 2 года назад

You have to set limits with consequences for when a child gets up from the table. Basically, they need to know in advance that they are welcome to get up when they are done and so if they get up it means they are done. I explain it all really thoroughly in my podcast on Food Battles with Young Kids. Here's a link to that podcast but you can find it on any podcasting site. It's Episode 4. www.buzzsprout.com/883810/3002227-4-fun-with-food-toddler-to-elementary-edition.mp3?download=true