Sierra and Stephen, please brace yourself for mommy and daddy shaming and criticism. Every parent has gotten it since the beginning of time, but with you being so public will get it tenfold, a thousand-fold! Trust yourself and the mentors and advisors YOU trust, and ignore the rest.
Patty, absolutely! I've never been able to work out why, when someone has a baby it seems to automatically trigger all the "experts" to come out of the woodwork... The best advice I can give anyone is follow your own instinct, it's usually not far of the mark...if you have a great support crew, you'll be great... ;))
That’s so true. And I love where you wrote “trust who YOU trust”. It’s important to not take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice. I also saw RU-vidr Orly Shanny saying that she eventually figured out that not all moms are her kind of mom. They have a different style and different priorities, and it’s fine for them, but you’ll need to ignore what they’re doing and just do you.
That’s AWESOME!! We did something similar. I was planned to have a csection on dec. 28th but due to complications I ended up having one on the 23rd and we surprised our families by FaceTiming them after he was born. 🥰
As a mom of two, there is nothing more demeaning and apathetic than someone looking at me in any given situation and saying “oh you think this is bad... just you wait” 🙄 No. I want to talk about my current problems! Even if it does get harder, that does nothing for my current issues and causes more anxiety 🙃 why can’t we just validate and encourage? I’d much rather hear, “that stage was so tough! You’ll get through it” or tell me something that helped!
Yes!!!! Nothing like "I am going to both invalidate how you are feeling right now, make you feel bad about how well you are managing and creating anxiety about the future" in a few small words.
Plus it’s not even true. Some people find newborn phase super hard. Other go through it ok and have a hard time with toddler years. People are si different, it’s not a given that things will get harder.
Yesssss OR saying just wait until all the good moments! Like when they smile at you or giggle for the first time or their first bath. The moments that are special! Instead of all the difficult times, like wait until you never sleep again 😒
@@IzabelCampana exactly! I found the newborn stage the easiest. I slept sooooo well. My body was tired so I actually went into rem sleep, which I have trouble doing usually. For me pregnancy was awful, I hated it and I ended up suicidal from the vomiting, pain and just horrific experience for me.
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
Yes! The question “is this your first?” is so hard to answer after experiencing miscarriage. I’m currently pregnant with my third pregnancy after two miscarriages, and I always pause when answering that question. I don’t want to over share, but I also don’t want to pretend those pregnancies didn’t exist.
While I was going through my 2nd miscarriage, at the hospital they asked me if this was my first pregnancy, so I said no and she asked me if my little one was at home 😖
My heart dropped when Sierra mentioned the "Third pregnancy, no live births" question. I am so sorry it is horrible to navigate for everyone. This stranger on the internet is sending you hugs and support for dealing with the tough question.
@@juniperlowe2397 yes, I have. Personally, I don’t love that term... kinda like Sierra explained, a new baby can’t/doesn’t replace the one you lost. It’s an entirely new child who is very loved and wanted, but it still doesn’t just fix the ache you feel from your loss. Does that make sense? I know a lot of people find a lot of comfort and healing with their “rainbow babies” and more power to them! It’s just not for me.
"We don't want her to be an influencer." Ya'll are restoring my faith in humanity. So many people use their children for content on such a large scale, before the child can even consent or conceptualize the idea of being in front of millions. I'm so glad you're prioritizing your babygirl's safety and autonomy over your audiences curiosity, or even your own excitement. That being said I'm so excited to meet her and hear all about your journeys through parenthood!
I always say this is my first keeper. If they inquire further I say we’ve had prior losses. Usually it stops there. I just say it’s been a journey and that quiets the person. I do like to knowledge my second trimester loss, because both my husband an I need to acknowledge our little boy.
When I was pregnant with my first, I cried at the worker at Einstein bagels when they told me they didn’t have the bagel I wanted. It made me burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant.
I cried because when I arrived at my FIL's house, my BIL had parked his car in the spot where I usually park when I go, and I had to park mine... Behind his car!!... *the horror!* 😂😂😂😂. And I usually couldn't eat much besides cheese rice, but one day at around 30 weeks I wake up from my "mid afternoon nap" and tell my husband I wanted to eat a specific beef sandwich (mind you, the whole pregnancy any type of meat felt heavy in my stomach) and his face went completely blank... It was 2 am!!, thankfully, about 5 min away from home there's an establishment that sells it and is (or was, pre pandemic) open until 5 am (their target is people coming out of parties that want to eat something to diminish the alcohol they consumed)
When I was 7 months pregnant, I dropped a box of q-tips on the floor and a few came out of the box. I cried like an insane person. Hell, I felt like an insane person! 😂
I think it's shorthand for the actual advice of living in the moment and not focusing on the bad things. But remember who you're talking to is going through their own stuff too and may also be emotionally exhausted
bcgrote, is there a particular name for the 3rd l/b? I had 1 l/b, lost 3, had another l/b, lost another 2, then had my 3rd and final l/b (then had the plumbing disconnected), so I'm curious if there is a name for that particular baby, cause I just call her my angel baby... she has turned into a bit of a devil as she grew up, but I still love her to bits... ;)
@@grandy2875 apparently people call the l/b before a loss a "sunshine baby", but that isn't a common term. After three losses, some say a "triple rainbow", with "double rainbow" if there were 2 lost ones. I guess a 3rd would be just the youngest, lol!
Those baby blues cries are INTENSE! I cried on the car ride home bc it was his first time in our car, I cried when when the dogs licked him, I cried when my husband brought me a cheese burger...literally cried for like 2 weeks straight over everything. 10m later I still cry anytime I get a small white claw buzz and my husband calls it “drunk baby gush” bc all I do is cry and say how much I love my baby 😂
I so feel you on the “is this your first?” I remember the first time someone asked me when I was pregnant after miscarriage and I said the first time we made it this far. But once I was more pregnant I just said yes. But ugh it does feel kind of sad like you’re not honoring those babies. Tough to lose your first/s 💕💕
Wow Sierra you’re both such good people ... I got teary when you started talking about how you want her to know love. I found you when i was in a baaaad place with my body and i searched how to lose weight i think and you showed me a complete different path of self love i didn’t know existed. Thank you so much, you’re such a good influence...❤️
I totally get pregnancy after loss! Now that I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby and people ask if it’s my first, I say “This is the first time we’ve been this far along.” Makes me feel better
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
My husband and I kept our baby's name a secret too. When he was born we sent out a picture to family with his name introducing him. I totally love how it worked out. I also didn't want to be talked out of the name.
We went to Disney World with our daughter a few times this year so far, the first when she was 10 months old and the second was just after she turned 1. While she won't remember it, so it was kind of was just for us, watching her experience everything was so fun. Her face lit up on every ride and every time she saw any of the characters walking around. When babies are at the stage of interacting with their surroundings, I say take them because it's so sweet to watch.
Sierra, I am with you on the body positivity. My mom was always picking herself apart in front of me (she was never bigger than a size 8 maybe). She started taking me to the gym with her when I was about 10- and would have me come work out, rather than play with the other kids there. In middle school, I started packing slim-fast drinks in my lunch box, but pulled the label off so no one would know what I was drinking. It would be the only thing I ate for lunch. I am 36 now, and still struggle with my weight. My mom has had 2 tummy tucks, implants and gets regular Botox. She still isn't happy with her body. It ALWAYS made me feel like she clearly couldn't think I am pretty, because I had a body she was determined to never have, and hates (I was/am always "chubby"). That ALLL being said- I have a 9 year old daughter and I am proud to say that I have broken that cycle! I have made it a point to NEVER mention my body, or anyone's body for that matter. I have never mentioned her body being "different" (she is a little more curvy) and she has no idea it's even a thing! We have always fed her well rounded meals, without starting bad habits and over indulging, but it's just the way her body was made
Go you! That is awesome! I want the same for my girls. We are body neutral and it's been so good to see how our culture at home has flowed into how they behave when they see/meet people with bodies different than theirs. I have a 70 year old dad who talks about people's weight/bodies and I've had to stop him in his tracks a few times too and tell him "we don't talk about people's bodies."
Don't overthink it! I had a not-so-great upbringing (narcissistic, controlling, & overprotective parenting style), BUT I turned out pretty great, if I do say so myself. Y'all are going to be amazing parents!
Mac n' cheese melt down is totally relatable, I had the same reaction to not getting manicotti at an Italian restaurant. Cried for an hour when they didn't have it.
My parent had initially picked the name Rachel for me, but when i was born i would’ve been the NINTH Rachel born that day (i was born the year after friends premiered) so they went with their back-up Connor. Which ended up being one of the most popular names for boys that year!
Postpartum emotions are completely bonkers. While I was pregnant I cried looking at my dog because I loved him so much. Postpartum I cried for straight up no reason. I was just sitting on the couch, my daughter was asleep, my husband had gone to get a prescription for me and when he came back I was sobbing. He was like "omg what's wrong?!" I sobbed out "nothinggggg I don't know why I'm cryinggggg" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
For me it was lullabies. Why Are they all so sad! The first few weeks postpartum we’d be out walking and my baby would wake up crying so Id sing but then I was sobbing and he was crying
I miscarried at 23, im now 28 and the question "do you have any kids?" Or they'll see in old records that I was pregnant but not that I had miscarriage so they'll ask if I've had anymore kids or how my child is doing. It never gets easier.
I didn’t want *my* baby girl to struggle with body image and food as I did, so I was careful to compliment her for her achievements and personality rather than her appearance. Although she was blessed with curly hair and an adorable little figure 🥰 I’d say things like “You figured it out!” “That was so kind how you helped that lady with the door.” “Wow! You’re so strong!” “That’s a drawing we should put on the fridge!”
I named all my Angel babies... I have 5 in Heaven and 3 here with me... That has helped me so much.. miscarriages are still taboo and it shouldn’t .. it is so hard! I am so happy for you!
Im not even pregnant but I have a hormonal disorder and I cry about the idea of my dog dying all the time. lol Before I had her, I cried about not being able to see my family dog back in my home country, and cried a lot about not having a dog. Sometimes I cry cause I love her so much xD So yeah, I cry a lot about dogs xD
same, all the time. i may cry tonight because i miss my dogs. i just got back from a visit home for the weekend and i won't be able to see them for a couple weeks and even the thought of it makes me tear up!!
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
You didn’t ask and so please forgive me if this is unwelcome advice. I really want to stress the importance of prioritizing your mental health once you welcome baby girl. With my first I was so consumed with my little one that I didn’t realize the emotions I was feeling were not typical, and symptoms of serious PPA. Hugs to you!
honestly this video made me realize that if i want kids i cant stay with my current bf because he doesn't share a single belief with me which would make raising a child together incredibly difficult. not a bad thing, just something i realized
So proud of you for being honest with yourself about your future and your life goals/wants and realizing you might not be in a situation that’s conducive to your hopes. It can be difficult to see and accept those. Whatever your decision is based on this realization I wish you all the best and happiness life has to offer.
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
10:17 yes. Hearing my father call my mother fat, telling her she’s too fat to be loved or wanted , all while I was actually BIGGER THAN HER was extremely damaging to hear growing up. I’m in my mid 30s and it still haunts me.
I really don’t understand how I can be so invested in the pregnancy of someone I’ve never met and who doesn’t know I exist, but I am soo excited and happy for you to have baby girl!!
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
As a mom of 4 I can tell you it doesnt matter if your child is in all pink or blue people will say " ahhh he is so cute" and she is in ALL PINK. And parents will pour advice, learn to ignore. Unless needed.
I was watching while folding clothes and heard my question and looked up and actually screamed a little seeing my name 😂💀 hahaha I’m so sorry for your lack of mac and cheese 😂
You can definitely instill values. My family always pushed family values (we had dinner together every night as a family of 8), and my parents always placed an importance on education (which I'm eternally greatful for, I was focused, excelled in school, graduated from university and have a great job now).
I have two little girls and it is my mission to spread that to them! We are body neutral over here and I know as teen years approach it will be hard work, but I hope they can keep the love they currently have for their bodies throughout their lives.
Stephen’s humour in this video is so on point 😂 I love that you guys are so real and aware of the current world and the issues that face us! Also the fact he is so open that it’s terrifying raising a baby! Safe to say, he’s a great dad to baby girl (not using her name in case anyone hasn’t seen future vlogs after this) 💕
Steve’s answer on the silly cry question made me tear up. So sweet! Honestly it doesn’t stop after they arrive. I look at my 6mo’s onesies from his newborn pile and just start thinking and crying about how big he is.
I love Steve’s genuine reaction to the values question 😂 and also his awareness around gender differences but wanting to do his best for the women around him! So sweet
When I was pregnant, I cried while watching Chopped because the girl who seemed to desperately want to win did in fact win. I was so happy for her that I cried. Lol.
I think it’s amazing that you want to keep your main channel the same. One thing I’ve discovered after having a baby is how much your sense of identity changes. I had never heard about it until after I had my daughter and I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling like I had lost my identity. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being a mom but it’s hard to feel like myself. People don’t realize they contribute to this by saying “How’s mama?” Instead of referring to you by name or if somethings wrong, they always invalidate your feelings by saying “But you have a healthy baby!” which implies you can’t even have expressive freedom. It can be tough so I think keeping your channel at least mostly the same will be a good way for you to feel like yourself. Since having my daughter, it’s hard to feel like anything other than “Elovie’s mom”.
I know how you feel about past pregnancies...i had one still birth and when people ask me if I have any children I tend to say no in order to not make them uncomfortable, but it's not fair to my sweet baby to act like she never existed
I used to say no but after awhile I couldn’t take it. So now when people ask I’ll either say that I have 2 babies here and 3 in heaven to simplify it or I’ll say still births with 2 live births. (My daughters know about their brothers that were stillborn and the baby I miscarried so they can ask questions about more hard to talk about or less talked about subjects.)
Seeing another woman with bipolar living her best life, starting a family, being successful makes me feel so much more hopeful for my future. Thank you for being so awesome Sierra
Everyone tries to scare you again when they are toddlers, but 3 has been my favorite age. We communicate like never before. We have inside jokes and he loves to snuggle. Still working on potty training though LOL
Omg STEPHEN! You made me cry about your laundry story. That is so so sweet. My daughter has such a strong bond with her daddy, can't wait for you to experience fatherhood!
I think baby girl’s name is Victoria! Your entire pregnancy that name has stuck out to me and Victoria is the only name of a follower that you read from the Q&A
I am not having a kid (and don’t plan to have one for a while tbh) but I love watching your videos together and how you are approaching parenthood because it makes me optimistic seeing you guys be so open minded and aware of how you want to raise your child. 💖
My parents didn’t know what our gender/sex was until we were born and so they had at least two names picked for us, but for each kid they never used/considered those names again. Like the “girl” name they had picked for my older brother they never used for me when I was born and then when my younger brother was born they never used the “boy” name they picked for me, and even the back up “girl” name they picked was different than the backup one they had for my older brother. So its interesting to see how people pick names and will have a few names they love and are really deciding between for one kid, but then when they have another kid, a lot of people will just pick all completely nee names and not even consider those names that were in their top FAVORITE for the first child. I think it’s because that once you pick your favorite out of the few names you like, then those other names you do like have also been mentally classified as not the BEST and so it makes sense to go and pick all new names to choose between, because you are not going to want a name that name you think of as subpar/second best for your other child.
Also as a mother of an angle who died 3 weeks old and had a miscarriage i really struggle on what to say when people ask how many kids i have cause in my mind i have 3 kids but i only have one i can hug and kiss and show how much i love her but the two angles are my kids too the first one i never got to meet but the second one i held in my arms, i saw her smile, i kissed her and now she is gone and i dont wanna burden people with that and make them feel bad for me cause its been well over 5 years and i have learn to deal with the grief but she is still my baby girl
It sounds like you are going to be great parents!! I love the way you talk about raising your daughter to be well-rounded and confident and kind, and I wish you all the luck in the world.
I was going to wait to watch you while you are hanging with the baby and not on RU-vid. I cannot, I miss you. I realized that I will rewatch videos while you are enjoying mommy time! You two are adorable.
Your view on your baby shower is exactly what I did with my wedding! We still got married on our planned date and just postponed our reception - its not a lost experience, just changed, and actually our wedding day was even more special having it just with our families
I love that you are planning to implement body positivity in her life. It’s super important for kids to hear that. I work at a preschool in the infant room and one of my babies was 10 pounds when she was born. She’s her parents miracle baby so they say she’s strong and healthy. She’s definitely on the larger side but is perfect the way she is. We say she’s strong and healthy and complement her body a lot (in a not creepy way). I love that her mom is using that language around her.
My sister just entered her 2nd trimester of her first pregnancy. She had tried for 12 years to conceive so this is a miracle baby, but she just turned 40 and is considered high risk. It's a completely different situation from yours, but watching you makes me feel so much ease and like it's okay to be excited even with the risk. I had 2 healthy relatively easy pregnancies so this stress is new to me. Thanks for sharing your positivity and good vibes
I'm just now hitting the second trimester and due in early December, these videos have been helping me a lot since my husband is deployed right now and won't be getting home till August, so it's been tough on both of use. I suffer from depression even before this and these videos even if there old help me stay positive. Also both me and my husband married young as well (me 20, husband 22 when married December 2020), we also have similar views as you guys about our lives and pregnancy, as well as how we want to raise our kid. I'm excited for you guys and wish you nothing but the best.
the "this isn't a lost experience, this is a changed experience" thing GOT ME GOOD. that is a brilliant way to look at things and I'll try to use that mentality with so many things. thank you, Sierra! :)
I ended up having Postpartum Anxiety, which I didn’t know was a thing. I have an anxiety disorder, but I wasn’t prepared for how everything scared the crap out of me and how I was so worried that I was going to do something wrong. But I was super open with my husband and my doctors and things eventually felt less scary and I became a little more confident as a mom every day ❤️ Good luck with everything and I will be sending all the positive vibes your way!
As a young 21 year old who struggled with identity and loving my body for years, it is so refreshing to hear you say you will give your baby a chance to express herself how she chooses and explore her identity. I was criticized and bashed outwardly and subliminally by the people around me, many of whom I loved, because I didn't want to look or love the way they did. I've had a rough time finding myself and it could have been so much easier if I had the support I needed. When I discovered your channel while dealing with anorexia, you were and are one of the only influencers that helped me learn what it is to see myself as beautiful through seeing how beautiful you are and how you have embraced that. As people, we couldn't be more different, but I still name you as one of my all time favorite influencers and watch your channel(s) daily because of the love you give. Thank you, truly and deeply. I'm now in university and planning on graduating next year with a degree in Psychology to aid lgbtq+ youth and parental and adolescent communications :)
your answers in this video are just making my heart burst. what an amazing generation we are all going to raise by implementing foundational values like body love, diversity, acceptance, and kindness.
Girl, I cried so hard at the start of my pregnancy because I got in “trouble” at work for calling in on a shift and not having a doctors note... I thought I still had one more call in without note but apparently they used one when they sent me home for puking on a table but didn’t tell me...they were suspending me for the next THREE FRIDAY NIGHTS. I work midnights in a casino and a Friday suspension is unheard of. Everyone tries to get Friday off. It was a literal blessing.
I know you guys keep saying that when baby comes, everything will change forever! I felt that way too when I was pregnant with my first! However, I was very surprised at how similar life felt in many ways once he arrived. Yes, we had this new little baby who was always there and needs caring for, but we still watched shows together in the evening, and went for walks and outings, and cooked and cleaned and so on, just as we had when it was just the 2 of us - only now there was this little baby there with us or sleeping close by. It was the strangest thing. It wasn't like life changed completely - more like the way we did normal things was just altered slightly to now include this little human.
I'm in my third trimester as well, and I agree that nothing is worse than the first trimester. The farther along you get, you find your groove and what works for you. You do have your days, but be gentle with yourself and listen to your body.
I'm almost 20 weeks and I am so dreading the 'just wait until...' especially if I claim to be tired. It's so negative and as someone with low self esteem it makes me really doubt myself as a future mum. I loved following your pregnancy journey - really appreciate you sharing it in detail
My most ridiculous crying story. Hubs went shopping, forgot my ice-cream, and I sobbed because obviously that meant he'd forgotten he had a pregnant wife at home so didn't love me anymore... 😅😂
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins! Believe God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and trust in God! Live for Jesus as He died for you!! (Don’t swear or take God’s name in vain!) 🧡
The one thing that’s been holding me together during pregnancy and these past 10 months is whatever it is it’s just a phase, enjoy the things that are nice and don’t worry about the bad things, they will come to an end
As I listen to your answers, it makes me so happy to know that there are parents like y'all in the world! Y'all are gonna do baby girl right by the way y'all are planning to raise her! ♡♡♡
Could you two BE any cuter? No! These vlogs are such a day brightener! I am not your demographic and can't remember how I found you, but I have thoroughly enjoyed every video on this and the main channel. :)
My mom had a miscarriage at 19 and her and my father were absolutely broken. They tried and tried for 8 years before getting pregnant with my brother. Your sadness is valid but your happiness is also very valid because you finally have something to look forward to and you deserve to be happy with and about your child.
