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Anxiety, Worry, and What-If's: Rewiring Anxiety Through Intentional Risk Assessment: Acceptable Risk 

Therapy in a Nutshell
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Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: courses.therap...
So here’s another of the most common questions I get on my “Rewiring the Anxious Brain” video: people ask “What if the dog bites you?”
Now in that video I was explaining how when you avoid something, it makes your anxiety go up.
But, of course, when making a video about anxiety, the anxious people watching the video are going to say "But how can I do that? What if the dog bites you?"
Many people with anxiety focus on the worst-case scenario, instead of focusing on the potential for growth and healing. And that’s because when your brain is in anxiety mode, it’s attuned to threats - it only notices and pays attention to the potential dangers around you.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in all the “what-ifs” that you completely lose sight of your goals. Like overcoming anxiety or visiting your son who has a dog.
But there are some practical steps you can take to manage your brilliantly anxious brain instead of letting anxiety run your life.
Watch this video to learn what those are.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofje...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicideprevent... or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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6 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 407   
@zudabenhur
@zudabenhur 3 года назад
As someone who struggles with anxiety, and for someone who has seen hundreds of videos and channels on anxiety and depression, I can safely say this channel tops the chart. The quality of the content is the best one out there. Thank you so much Emma, for sharing your experience and knowledge. Wish you all the best! God bless.
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
Thanks so much!
@Dbiss
@Dbiss 2 года назад
100% agreed!!!
@juliecrockett6394
@juliecrockett6394 2 года назад
I agree!
@michellegambo1053
@michellegambo1053 2 года назад
I agree.💜
@rolguin8115
@rolguin8115 2 года назад
Yes. I have been recommended as well.
@abijcj
@abijcj 3 года назад
"your life is more than avoiding fear" - LOVE this quote
@nathantrudgill5057
@nathantrudgill5057 3 года назад
The THOUGHT of doing something you don't want to do, is much harder than DOING something that you don't want to do
@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz
@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz 3 года назад
I like this statement it's 100% true it helps me thanks
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
YES!
@nathantrudgill5057
@nathantrudgill5057 3 года назад
@@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz you're welcome
@hgg324
@hgg324 3 года назад
Absolutely. The fear of doing the thing becomes worse than just doing the thing!
@rehanfarooqui2071
@rehanfarooqui2071 3 года назад
shout out jordan peterson
@alesmonggo2112
@alesmonggo2112 3 года назад
Also, don't blame yourself no matter the result. Life is multiple of tests and errors. Its not the end of eveything
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
yeah! just put your very best out there!
@dave1927p
@dave1927p 3 года назад
Be accountable for your mistakes, learn from them and move forward
@oddlilbird
@oddlilbird 2 года назад
I’m in that cycle of regret right now. Thanks for your comment. I’ll redirect my energy and thoughts to accepting what is and to moving forward
@Helen-nl9lv
@Helen-nl9lv 2 года назад
Thank you. I really needed to hear that this evening. I have made so many mistakes.
@suzannegilman7748
@suzannegilman7748 2 года назад
@@dave1927p no
@coleman6203
@coleman6203 2 года назад
Thank you for your videos Emma. I am 56 years old and I've let fear and anxiety run and ruin my life. I've wasted my entire life but i'm hoping to have a better future.
@bwinkle2915
@bwinkle2915 2 года назад
Me too, sadly enough
@coleman6203
@coleman6203 2 года назад
@@bwinkle2915 ❤
@sussannekeith5676
@sussannekeith5676 2 года назад
I am right there with you as I let the what ifs kill some dreams.
@coleman6203
@coleman6203 2 года назад
@@sussannekeith5676 ♥
@catherinewalker9440
@catherinewalker9440 2 года назад
Me
@saffloweroyl3663
@saffloweroyl3663 Год назад
Anxiety has been my life companion. Two years of caring for myself and an elder through Covid19 set off all my alarms and froze me. Scared all the time. Seeing danger everywhere. Twitched through 2 years of Prepping because, well, all my alarms were going off. I fossilized out of fear. In order to fully engage in the world again, I needed a jolt, a jumpstart, gimme the paddles. I took the biggest 24 hour chance I could manage to get that JOLT. I put on a glorious 12-pound beaded ball gown and antler crown, flew to Los Angeles (bless you Southwest for all the fun) and saw the Rammstein show with 50,000 strangers. Never did I know the power of camouflage. I'm still feeling a deep internal satisfaction that I did it, felt the fear, thought it through and did it. I did it.
@craigfoulkes
@craigfoulkes Год назад
Well done for feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
@JohnM...
@JohnM... 3 года назад
Don't you just LOVE this channel?
@reallifepsych3309
@reallifepsych3309 3 года назад
“it’s all about making international choices with acceptable risks.” exactly, let’s take control of our lives and lose the regrets/what ifs which only slow us down
@lalavargo
@lalavargo 3 года назад
I'm a nurse and have recently been overcome by health anxiety. I need to get back to work but feel so triggered about being with patients. I really need help with this. Thank you for the tip to not completely avoid it but gradually get back in:)
@Thegardenhose
@Thegardenhose 3 года назад
Running works wonders for me. Push your body to release built up energy
@instanttherapy
@instanttherapy 3 года назад
You need to change your triggers and make each trigger more passive and calming and satisfying.
@bwinkle2915
@bwinkle2915 2 года назад
Breathing and mindfulness has been a game changer for me. Watching Emma’s videos have been so informative with things I had never heard of before. I have suffered anxiety and panic with avoidance for over 40 years. Slowly now things are settling and I’m making my way in a different manner due to understanding my body and what I can do to alter my learned behaviour. Good luck
@1STBUCKLEY
@1STBUCKLEY 2 года назад
Check out TMS Dr Sarno's book or Dan Buglio on RU-vid
@timothyf.4543
@timothyf.4543 2 года назад
Your a Nurse!Hello,go to your provder.Asking someone onlie?Really,your a Nurse?
@jenjackson3034
@jenjackson3034 Год назад
I have struggled with anxiety my whole life but it has recently become unmanageable and I know that everything you have said in this video is 100% true. There is no pill or therapeutic technique out there that can make the decision for me to step into the fear instead of constantly avoid it. Thank you for mentioning your own anxiety with making these videos. I am constantly saying things like "its easy for the person without anxiety to say x, y and z" It brought tears to my eyes to know that you GET IT and that this advice is sound.
@dailydoseofmedicinee
@dailydoseofmedicinee 3 года назад
👏One important step in reversing the anxiety cycle is gradually confronting feared situations. If you do this, it will lead to an improved sense of confidence, which will help reduce your anxiety and allow you to go into situations that are important to you.
@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz
@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz 3 года назад
Thank you very much for your comment I will use it before any situation I will read you comment. thanks again
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
yes.
@puffymuffin9064
@puffymuffin9064 3 года назад
When ever i go out my brain goes into over drive it start thinking all sorts I never was like this.
@s.d.a.d.r8538
@s.d.a.d.r8538 2 года назад
👍👍👍👍
@DrMaikaSteinborn
@DrMaikaSteinborn 3 года назад
"It's so easy to get wrapped up in all the what-ifs." 🌿 I love your videos, Emma! 🍃
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
Yay! Thank you!
@Louisemel902
@Louisemel902 3 года назад
I work in mental health and I've been recommending this video to my patients, but I've also felt the benefits myself! Sometimes I suffer from driving anxiety and will actively avoid driving for weeks at a time, which exacerbates the anxiety, so I really needed this video to give me a kick up the butt!
@salligriffin7938
@salligriffin7938 2 года назад
I'm suffering anxiety about driving for a month? Why? Never had an accident. I'm with you ❤️‍🩹
@chrisrhinehart45
@chrisrhinehart45 2 года назад
Me to what are you practicing when that moment happens
@offgridwithakid1503
@offgridwithakid1503 2 года назад
Climbing is amazing as an anxiety medication. It's both physical, so gets the heart pounding and the chemicals released, but also quite meditative. It focuses your mind on the problem at hand, and nothing else. I can honestly say, in 25 years of climbing, I've never worried about paying the bills, whilst halfway up a route.
@Angels_Are_Real
@Angels_Are_Real 3 года назад
We all love you, Emma! 💞
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
awwwww
@debbiesivertson817
@debbiesivertson817 3 года назад
Thank you for your wise words! And, on a side note, your voice calms me down 😊!
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
cool! thanks :)
@sharonandrews4628
@sharonandrews4628 3 года назад
I agree with Debbie , you have a very calming voice and a brilliant way of explains things . Thank you Emma
@dalenjurgens6751
@dalenjurgens6751 3 года назад
Yep nice voice!
@pressurewashingandhoodcleaning
@pressurewashingandhoodcleaning 3 года назад
this message its so inspiring. i suffer from anxiety since i was 18.im 37 now. and what you talk about here is what i literally go through . im going to listen to this untill it gets ingraved in my amigdala
@kalinmareus8540
@kalinmareus8540 3 года назад
I said the same thing when I watched this video..lol.. Now I have this video on repeat.. Gotta watch it once a week.. Thanks..
@edieann8330
@edieann8330 3 года назад
Thank you for videos Emma. I'm in an anxiety forum and I love to recommend your channel. So many people can't afford therapy, or have a preconceived notion what therapy is. You provide a good starting point for them. Your helping so many people. God bless you for your kindness.
@bejamii2048
@bejamii2048 2 года назад
OH my lord, you just made me realise something. "when you avoid something that feels dangerous but is actually safe". That is so awakening :D
@anandsharma7430
@anandsharma7430 2 года назад
For people who struggle with chronic anxiety due to constant triggers from the same few sources, it is very very good idea to shift your location away from the place where those triggers arise for a while. If that is possible. If you're job is the source, try finding a new job. If your neighbourhood and people there are the source, change the neighbourhood for some time. If your studies are the source, then, if possible change the course for a short while. This temporary change let's your brain get a breather and a real perspective on what is real and what is imagined. When you move away from the triggers of your anxiety, you can identify exactly what is the real part of the danger, what is the perceived part and you can do this peacefully in the absence of the perceived danger. However, if you cannot distance yourself, the best remaining option is to go crazy and face your fears. Often you find that there are no real dangers where you perceived them to be. Finally, there is a universal fact - there is no remedy for misfortune. If it has to strike, it will whenever it does. If you live in fear of everything going wrong, well, those things will go wrong AND you will have lived in fear when they had not yet gone wrong. So the best way to handle misfortune or bad luck is to be happy as much as you can and only suffer just as much as is unavoidable.
@bethrees7468
@bethrees7468 3 года назад
I have never felt so understood or been supported by such logical, actionable & grounded advice. Your calm, positive, humble & non-judgmental approach feels like a safe place to grow from. You make my mountain seem like it could (one day) be just another molehill. Living with an anxiety disorder makes me feel isolated, confused, undesirable & unfixable, but your videos are a glimmer of hope. Thank you for being such a good teacher & for helping people to navigate the mysterious terrain of the human mind. What you do is so important & appreciated. 🙏🏻💕
@lyrav1528
@lyrav1528 3 года назад
The difference you're making in the world is not small. I'm a teacher. Not only the tools you're giving me are making me a better one, but I'm also starting to teach the tools themselves. I am one viewer; I reach around one hundred kids a year and will do so, fingers crossed, for another 30 years. Who knows to how many people these kids will pass on these new skills. I don't want to worry you, but the difference you're making is in no way a small one :)
@jasmineoliva3690
@jasmineoliva3690 3 года назад
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH! Thank you for helping me, I have been struggling with anxiety since last year. I live in fear now. I was never like this. Watching videos like this makes me feel like my emotions are real and I can get help.
@cellcoremax1
@cellcoremax1 3 года назад
I love that you picked climbing as an example. I'm a pretty anxious person when it comes to doing things out of my comfort zone, but I'm so fascinated with climbing. I don't know why, it just seems inviting.
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
Climbing is an amazing physical, mental, and philosophical exercise, you should try it! Its honestly very "good" for anxiety, by helping you go through healthy anxiety and then release it.
@joenelzayas
@joenelzayas 2 года назад
I’ve always had health anxiety. Since I was young. More recently in life I’ve been dealing with actual health issues and it makes me super anxious because I’m u sure what the real fears are versus the made up ones
@AvGXXX
@AvGXXX 2 года назад
Same. Thinking of you.
@jillarchi4920
@jillarchi4920 3 года назад
I love your approach to the subject of anxiety! Take control of my life is empowering for me!! Thank you!!
@nicoleonfeels
@nicoleonfeels 3 года назад
Hahah my brain is SO extra. Thank you for shedding light on this. 🤗
@anxietylab9126
@anxietylab9126 3 года назад
Thank you for this. I have to work hard to focus on the positive as well as the negative. I think it is a skill that can be learned. These methods do work with practice. Never give up y'all!
@KRAZEEIZATION
@KRAZEEIZATION 3 года назад
Good to see you again. My anxiety is a pretty small part of my life now thanks to great professionals like you.
@puffymuffin9064
@puffymuffin9064 3 года назад
Which mine was small in my life
@rossanajooste4360
@rossanajooste4360 2 года назад
Hi. I would like to thank you, for assisting me to overcome anxiety. I have been set free. Continue with the great work!
@kileybueler8295
@kileybueler8295 Год назад
You are the only person who has been able to help me after multiple therapists and so many books, videos, ect for over 15 years and you made it so simple and I finally understand that I was actually making myself worse! I wish this knowledge was widely known before but I'm so grateful for you and your videos! You are truly talented at helping people and I just wanted to say thank you ❤️
@genevrajean1658
@genevrajean1658 3 года назад
You're really good at these videos. I would have never thought it caused you anxiety. I've been watching them daily and they have really helped with my anxiety and how I think 💗.
@chocojavachip
@chocojavachip 3 года назад
Emma, can you make a video dedicated to Covid anxiety in light of delta variant amidst society (schools, businesses) opening up more? How to live with more risk than you feel is safe?
@tonyakay9731
@tonyakay9731 3 года назад
I have situational anxiety, that makes me always ask what if i have a panic attack and embarrass myself. My anxiety sparks when im "stuck" waiting in lines, people being in my car, drive thrus...ughhh i want to get through this.
@catherinewalker9440
@catherinewalker9440 2 года назад
I thought I was the only one.
@tonyakay9731
@tonyakay9731 2 года назад
@@catherinewalker9440 right here with you ❤ im getting much better
@matthieumoison
@matthieumoison 2 года назад
@@tonyakay9731 I've had the same ever since my very first PA. Although I've only had one other one that wasn't as bad in almost 3 years, I think about it whenever I'm somewhere where leaving would be restricted. the book the untethered soul and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius helped, but what did it for you?
@marinan.9814
@marinan.9814 3 года назад
I have batteling agorapobia (panic attacks were never mentiond to me when i went trough all checkings for "what is wrong with me" and i left thinking i have some desease unknown to croatian doctors) and usually,my "symptoms" started being unbearable trough fall and winter..and now.. I started to go out, and tbh, this woman helped me so much i can only pray to God He bless her, but i still have huge anxiety and flashbacks of hospitals as soon as summer pass by. If anyone have gone trough sth similar, i would appreciate your experience of how you delt with it. GB
@launacasey6513
@launacasey6513 3 года назад
I'd say if a dog is known to be somewhat aggressive or unpredictable, keep your distance. I was attacked by a dog a few years ago - I was entering the dog's home and it was known that this dog had issues. I didn't go into the situation with anxiety, even though I struggle with anxious thoughts. I love dogs, my best friend of 14 years was my dog, but this attack definitely made me more cautious. I started asking the owners if their dog was friendly before approaching. Luckily the situation only left me with a scar - it didn't create crippling anxiety. But I can totally identify with how avoidance and anxiety can make your world very small and limited. It's worth it to do the work to get ahead of it.
@lexarey9479
@lexarey9479 3 года назад
Wow... to be honest ..there is something I've been needing to face for the past 12 years of my life..I can't say what it is but rationally its such a stupid thing but emotionally its been torture..I have chronic anxiety because of it and I have basically cut myself off from my family because of it...I miss out on events and even avoid social situations because of it.... but this video has really inspired me to do something about it...I can't live my life in fear of what might happen while missing out on what could be the most important part of my life... it however does have something to do with unresolved ptsd ..but anyway..thank you for this video..its gonna be hard ..but its the only way for me to break free from this circuitous route of anxiety and avoidance..I thank
@puffymuffin9064
@puffymuffin9064 3 года назад
Me you together really you can't live all the time in fear if this and if that one step at a time im sure i will get there
@johns-mylifesmagic4774
@johns-mylifesmagic4774 3 года назад
A work colleague, a couple of years back, encouraged me to focus more upon choosing 'what's right for you' as compared to always putting myself last in the hierarchy of choices. I've tried to enable that approach since then. In this talk, I found the use of 'statistical outcomes' as a decision/choice enhancing tool to be really helpful. :)
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
Love that!
@foleysdogtraining1151
@foleysdogtraining1151 9 месяцев назад
Great video (my therapist assigned it as homework). As a dog trainer, here's what I recommend for people who are afraid of dogs. Check your local library to see if they have a therapy dog that visits. They are SUPER CHILL dogs who are trained to sit or lay down next to kids so the kid can read stories to them. It builds the kid's confidence in their reading (because a dog is patient while you sound out words and won't correct you if you're wrong). But for adults who are afraid of dogs, you are guaranteed to have a dog that has been temperament tested and will hang out by your side and not interact with you unless you want it to.
@SayStephanie
@SayStephanie 3 года назад
You are such an interesting, fascinating person! Thank you for letting us in your life and sharing such helpful tips!
@roschanvargonay9820
@roschanvargonay9820 2 года назад
My suggestion is: If you are afraid of dogs and want to change that, try to find a dog trainer who is willing to let you attend the lessons without having a dog of your own. Especially the lessons for very young puppies (Welpenschule in German; „puppy school“). You will not be overwhelmed by the rough „teenager“ dogs or even bigger ones. And you will learn a lot about dog behaviour that will help you interprete this behaviour and act accordingly if you see a dog. I have been afraid of dogs since my childhood. Then I changed my job a few years ago. In the new company dogs were allowed in the office. So I had to overcome my fear. Today I have 2 medium sized dogs of my own and do not have the least fear any more. I learned the signals that dogs send, when to retreat, when to approach a.s.o. In my case taking the risk has opened up a lot of new experiences and getting connectedcwith other dog lovers. Absolutely worth it.
@MorganLeighMiller
@MorganLeighMiller 2 года назад
I hope everyone can one day completely overcome unnecessary anxiety. Its so hard to do but I am sure it can be done. Thanks for your video! Also your example of "am I going to get covid from my groceries". I was thinking should I clean my groceries??? Like use a lysol wipe on everything and then wash fruit with soap and water? Then I thought I cant do this to myself, I am going to make myself crazy.
@homenhungry4987
@homenhungry4987 2 года назад
You are so great, Emma.... I'm here cleaning the living room, and I turned you on TV to hear your voice, and you're just smiling ear to ear saying, "Today, we're in my garden...." So great.... Thank you for being you, and for helping us through this..... ❤️
@ellajocelynn2875
@ellajocelynn2875 Год назад
as someone who is constantly thinking of the what ifs and is going through a very stressed and busy few months which makes the thoughts worse , i feel seen cause within the first 2 minutes you said everything that i felt and i didnt feel crazy anymore. I think im crying tears of joy because ofc this happen at 11:30 pm on a school night which makes it all the worse but i really appreciate this.
@bezuidenhoutreclaimworks7407
@bezuidenhoutreclaimworks7407 23 дня назад
You saved me. Im even not taking my anxiety meds any more.
@instanttherapy
@instanttherapy 3 года назад
I'd like to add that the more you talk about it, think about it and fear it, the more power you give it and THAT'S when it controls you. Change your focus. This is why yoga helps. Hard to focus on anything else when you're concentrating on breathing and maintaining a pose instead. Remember, you may think you're a multitasker but your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. So change the focus. Find something relaxing instead of focusing more on when your next anxiety attack will happen.
@indrajitbhattacharya9107
@indrajitbhattacharya9107 2 года назад
I cannot express my gratitude for you in words...please know i'm indebted to you.
@Bigjamez2011
@Bigjamez2011 3 года назад
Could you please cover health anxiety ? For me it’s my breathing . Started this year in June after a sinus infection causing breathing to be off mentally , due to nose being inflamed inside and thinking I’m not breathing good or not enough and so on then dwelling on it and constantly monitoring my breathing created more issues . How does one overcome these type of issues ? So far I think I’m doing well knowing I’m breathing fine and letting go of the what if’s but very hard . The slightest change in smell or breathing triggers it all over again . It’s a viscous cycle .
@instanttherapy
@instanttherapy 3 года назад
I'm a psychologist and I say you should change the picture in your mind that you associate with breathing. For instance, think back to a time when everything was perfect with your breathing and focus only on that time. Picture yourself in every present-day situation breathing like you did in the past. Make it a moving color picture in your mind using some or all five of your senses. For instance, see yourself breathing healthy. Hear others complimenting you. Touch your nose and feel how perfect it is. Ok, that one's weird, but you get my meaning, right?
@1STBUCKLEY
@1STBUCKLEY 2 года назад
Check out TMS Dr Sarno's book also Dan Buglio on RU-vid
@daleweiler4015
@daleweiler4015 2 года назад
I going through the same thing with sinus issues, any updates from you would be appreciated.
@Ms.Mel.Creates
@Ms.Mel.Creates Год назад
Thank you for all that you do. I don’t think you can ever fully know the difference you make.
@marlene18g
@marlene18g 3 года назад
Thank you for reminding me I have the power and control of my thoughts! Super helpful.
@tommygoncalves9569
@tommygoncalves9569 Год назад
This video hits different. I’ve been socially isolated and facing extreme depression. I’ve been wanting to reach out to my friends that I haven’t talked to in sooo long. I’ve been avoiding it, and my anxiety has increased soo much. Sleepless nights. This vid is so eye opening
@micro_adVANtures
@micro_adVANtures Год назад
I spent thirty years as a full contact martial artist, I enjoyed the intense daily 2hour sessions. If I could not make a session I would self impose a punishment run of between 6 and 8 miles (I did not at the time see it as a punishment run). I thrived on being the best in my weight category, I welcomed the pain from injury and trained through it. Last year aged 52 I was diagnosed with autism and unusual sensory processing needs. Who knew?! The pain was and still is a form of self centering, to feel connected with the world. At 53 now I have not participated in martial arts for a number of years and since then have suffered deep dark depression each time spanning a number of years, costing me employment, relationships, marriage and health.
@litadex
@litadex 2 года назад
I felt very anxious after I had kids... I was thinking all the time what if I go outside and someone kidnaps my baby, I spent 10 years with what ifs I hurt myself isolated and I hurt my family with my constant anxiety. Finally after 10 years I looked for help and I'm doing more and more stuff, I finally knowing more people and feeling at home here in the U.S. THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS!
@emilycornwall6198
@emilycornwall6198 3 года назад
Thank you so much for making the videos you do!
@jonnyaesthetic
@jonnyaesthetic 2 года назад
You are one of the coolest most down to earth and relatable therapist I've ever seen! Thank you for this video!
@mohammedwasimaltaf3851
@mohammedwasimaltaf3851 2 года назад
All I can say is "Love you for this video" It may potentially change my life for better & for ever. Thanks a ton.. May God bless you.
@oxfordhappy
@oxfordhappy Год назад
Not a small difference - a huge difference
@kwilson5832
@kwilson5832 Год назад
Thank you Emma. I have had problems getting myself in to 'What if?' anxiety loops for a long time, although I never really associated them with anxiety. I knew I was indecisive and wanted to make sure that I made the best decision for myself. However, I had a REALLY costly episode four years ago. I was looking to buy my first home and had just inherited some money so was in a great financial position. But I couldn't decide between location 'A' (where I was living, and near where my job would probably be moving to in a couple of years), and location 'B' (where my job was already based). Each time I saw a property in location 'A', I would wonder 'but what if location 'B' will be better?' and vice versa. My head knew I should go for 'A', but I was more emotionally attached to 'B'. I just wasn't thinking rationally and ended up not making a decision. I completely forgot that prices were likely to increase and that the longer I took to make a decision, the worse it would be. When the housing market went crazy during covid, I just knew that I couldn't cope with the anxiety of bidding wars etc. I'm now priced out of the market at 'A' and can't afford much at 'B', but I'm having to buy somewhere as I've been made homeless. Prices are now forecast to fall, so I'm even more depressed and anxious. My long-term relationship has ended as a result of me not making a decision, so I am devastated. In hindsight, i don't think I actually answered my 'What if?' questions. If I had, my decision would have been made for me. When I saw a property in 'A', I should have thought 'if I buy this and my job stays at 'B', my commute will be a 40 minute car journey. It's what I'm doing already and in the opposite direction to most traffic. I'll be living near my girlfriend (and she wants me to buy at 'A'), friends and church. When I saw a property at 'B', I should have thought 'If I buy this and my job moves to 'A', I'll be living 25 miles from my girlfriend, friends and church, the commute is a nightmare, as it's in the same direction as most other traffic, from a commuter town to a city centre. Driving will be stressful so I'll have to catch the bus, so will be dependent on their timetables and reliability. The commute in that direction takes at least 90 minutes each way. Just from answering the questions, it seems clear now, as I look at it rationally that I should have chosen 'A'. It's probably worth thinking about the worst case scenario that would happen with each choice as well. Remind yourself that if you don't make the decision then it will be made for you, and it will probably be the worst case scenario, but with worse terms than if you had picked it yourself. Another possibility is to talk with a trusted friend about the decision, as they will be able to consider it rationally, without the emotional attachment that you have yourself.
@saintejeannedarc9460
@saintejeannedarc9460 Год назад
Aw, that's too bad that you got in that tailspin. The appeal of a certain property might have helped make the decision for me too. It was likely better to go w/ what the commute will be now. There's just too much chance you'd stay at that job or find another in that area.
@silva10oli
@silva10oli 2 года назад
There's nothing wrong, or worse than expectations which are somehow like they're not gonna happen; and most of the time the real problem is right insede and hid on the deepest parts of our BEINGS. Your work is great 👏👏👏
@m.b.2381
@m.b.2381 5 месяцев назад
I really like someone and i reached out to him but he haven't responded.Then i started thinking about all the worst things that could happen.I wanted to run away because i couldn't handle the potential rejection but no,i will look forward to it.I will see it all play out and accept whatever happens.
@donnadobbs6589
@donnadobbs6589 2 года назад
My world has gotten very small due to anxiety, its so bad that I'm struggling to go from Ireland to the UK to pick up my sons dads ashes its been 3 yrs now since he died , my eldest son wants me to go visit him in Berlin but the anxiety around airports and flying is very high , iv even developed anxiety around food , this video is so helpful, I will keep listening to it
@freeiran4885
@freeiran4885 3 года назад
I’ve found this channel recently and I am loving it! Thank you 🙏 😍
@dee2022uk
@dee2022uk 3 года назад
Thank you, this is v helpful. This week I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety with work. It started off with me questioning some advice that I have during a call, to the extent that I was worrying afterwards. I think this set the tone for the rest of the week, and I was having difficulty sleeping. I had a good night sleep last night but I’m still waking up worrying about different things, and it has led to a change in my behaviour also e.g, eating more, watching lots things to distract my mind.
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
rough week! I would spend time writing or diagramming your worries...something about getting them on paper can help your brain work through them.
@dee2022uk
@dee2022uk 3 года назад
@@TherapyinaNutshell thank you I will write my worries down and break things down to get more out of my head.
@mschrisfrank2420
@mschrisfrank2420 3 года назад
Ironically, I was actually almost bitten by a dog when I was three. I was afraid of dogs for a few years after that; but 30 years later, I’ve never had another problem with a dog. I even really like them.
@deadmanwalking2572
@deadmanwalking2572 2 года назад
Some feel risk or extreme risk is their way of feeling safe. Nothing left to loose.
@megandelanoit5246
@megandelanoit5246 3 года назад
Your videos have a big positive impact in my world! Thank you so much for making them!!!!
@miyakochan2883
@miyakochan2883 3 года назад
I love dog's but my anxiety comes from fear of getting cancer I freak out and I know that if I keep going then I will get cancer so I am doing all I can to stop that but I don't think I'm doing enuff😓
@mschrisfrank2420
@mschrisfrank2420 3 года назад
That sounds rough. If you can, talking to a professional might be helpful. Trying to control the uncontrollable is mentally and physically draining, which is counter productive.
@miyakochan2883
@miyakochan2883 3 года назад
@@mschrisfrank2420 ok thank you for the advice
@shyaaammeneen63
@shyaaammeneen63 3 года назад
@@miyakochan2883 Heal yourself from negative thoughts. Very simple. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-stress-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a good life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor..
@Samrules4ever
@Samrules4ever 3 года назад
Emma, my "friend" ended our friendship maybe because she felt that I was as worthless as your analogy of the milk to you. "It wasn't worth the time and energy to overcome the fear (of going out)....+ The cost on my life was so low." That's what hurts.... someone who is suffering from anxiety doesn't care that he/she is hurting others. Our feelings matter too. I hope those who are suffering from anxiety will watch your video, and take your advice to conquer their fears. They need to know that they don't have to face their fears alone. Let people around them help them.
@puffymuffin9064
@puffymuffin9064 3 года назад
I let someone help me to get out but I need to do more now like do things
@Samrules4ever
@Samrules4ever 3 года назад
@@puffymuffin9064 I am very proud of you. It's not easy to conquer one's fears but your selflessness and your willingness to do something for yourself and for others is impressive. Do enjoy your life - those who care about you do care but if they mess up, don't take it the wrong way. We are humans and make mistakes. Nobody's perfect but striving to be better each day is key to a good life.
@marciodossantos9625
@marciodossantos9625 3 года назад
Thank you again! Nothing better than walk up Saturday morning and watch your video. 🙏🙏 Thank you Thank you
@dalenjurgens6751
@dalenjurgens6751 3 года назад
A MOST helpful video here. I am struggling with the notion of driving in a big city, going cross country to be with someone. Thank you for this video!
@elwiwi69
@elwiwi69 2 года назад
This video changed my life
@TYGZus777
@TYGZus777 2 года назад
When I was 10 years old our family went on vacation in the mountains. My cousins and I went hiking up into the mountains near our cabin. One of my cousins was behind his sister but in front of me. In the process of climbing, his sister loosened a rock which fell into his esophagus and he began to choke. We all gathered around to try to help him, trying to turn him up side down and pounding on his back. The rock finally came up. I learned at that moment: Always climb with your mouth closed!
@thegoodnessofyourart4725
@thegoodnessofyourart4725 3 года назад
I love the risk of a bee sting. :) This is such an awesome video. My mind does get caught up in the what ifs.
@hgg324
@hgg324 3 года назад
Really, good, encouraging talk! I'm so impressed that you are afraid of heights and still enjoy rock-climbing!
@xLiLlyx98
@xLiLlyx98 11 месяцев назад
I thought it was so funny how you brought up the dangers and insurance cost of horse riding because that was what i was thinking of the whole time... like "i would never go freeclimbing!" ... yet i ride horses three times a week, often alone in the woods where no one knows just where exactly to find me in case of emergency, and have gotten injured before 😅👍 i guess it's just the being used to it that takes the anxiety out of it ...
@aceh3042
@aceh3042 3 года назад
How could I apply this to sleep? I have a old insomnia trauma which has resurfaced and am stuck in the I can’t sleep cycle😫 do not look at time on clocks, going to bed early just in case I don’t sleep, is driving me mad!
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
oh man, insomnia is tough! Nick Wignall has some excellent articles addressing insomnia
@aceh3042
@aceh3042 3 года назад
@@TherapyinaNutshell thank you will check them out
@truecrimeandsomewine
@truecrimeandsomewine 3 года назад
I have terrible anxiety butttt whenever I go to the doctor for literally antying, my heart rate and blood pressure goes way up, and they want to keep checking it which makes it much worse, any tips to help with this?I end up leaving embarrassed and doing whatever I can to avoid going back.
@jylhobbs3038
@jylhobbs3038 2 года назад
I do the same thing. I have tried breathing techniques, but my heart rate is up there. I always ask for them to give me a minute....I hate it and avoid it too.
@s.d.a.d.r8538
@s.d.a.d.r8538 2 года назад
@@jylhobbs3038 👍👍👍👍👍
@wolfcreek8638
@wolfcreek8638 Год назад
@@jylhobbs3038 same situation for me and doctor said to me calm down everything is good,Blood pressure was perfect and heart beat was also good but I insisted to check EKG and one guy come inside and I felt little bit uncomfortable and heart beat was suddenly 99. Doctor said to me, you see in one moment your actually get scared and heart beat jump up. I didn't now it's so easy for heart to jump and start heart beat so fast.
@mirelladlima5278
@mirelladlima5278 3 года назад
@Ales Monggo - yes we feel we have to win whatever we try. We must not be afraid of the outcome.🙏 because at least we have accomplished the task of trying and knowing how it feels. it ceases to be a fear.
@candycewindels1337
@candycewindels1337 2 года назад
Therapy in a Nutshell. My humble opinion, your videos make a big difference. Bravo to you for putting this out there even though it makes you anxious. I am working on getting stronger and being able to do more of the things that scare me which after 15 years of dealing with this is a lot. Lol.
@TorringtonFernandopulle
@TorringtonFernandopulle Год назад
The way you explaining is very understandable and clear, thank you very much for the valuable lessons 🙏
@rachelgarbe3932
@rachelgarbe3932 3 месяца назад
Why, scientifically, does avoiding things cause more anxiety? It is soooooo true!!!!
@arjunmrao4039
@arjunmrao4039 3 года назад
Awesome video madam..very well analysed and explained...risk management , weighing the costs etc ..
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
Thanks a lot!
@arjunmrao4039
@arjunmrao4039 3 года назад
@@TherapyinaNutshell I am so happy that YOU reply particularly to my messages .. Your videos are awesome ..
@michaelarojas
@michaelarojas Год назад
I constantly obsess about the past and things that i have no contril over it really takes a mental bearing on me.
@taniav3283
@taniav3283 2 года назад
Im glad that u are making these videos, u are helping see the light. Thank so much. Please continue the videos.
@michelwathen2347
@michelwathen2347 2 года назад
Emma u are 👏amazing an so relaxed an informed. But big dogs 🐕 on the loose has at all occasions came to attack ...which I'm so interested what to do not get attacked again. I love dogs by the way. But I cannot understand 😩 why bigger dog's just chase an attack. We still battling the rabbies bite on my niece. By the grace of God I've been so blessed to not loose my face.
@chrisfogarty9110
@chrisfogarty9110 3 года назад
I just discovered your channel. Well done video. You are clear about anxiety. Many of my clients suffer from PTSD, Trauma and Anxiety. Your video helped me with ideas to use on my clients. And....we are totally twins! I also minored in Parks & Rec. and a rock climber. And I too am scared of heights; that’s why I started to climb. You are the younger version of myself! Lol! Totally weird! Thanx for the video. Well done and useful info.
@earthlycolorbrown6246
@earthlycolorbrown6246 3 года назад
Your Garden is Beautiful Emma! Getting motivated to unpack and declutter!
@iboremytherapist
@iboremytherapist 3 года назад
i think i'll only do free soloing crawling on the ground. the sun actually created a cool effect on the evolution of the video throughout great video, with lots of personal examples!
@21ruevictorhugo
@21ruevictorhugo 2 года назад
Wow! speaking of dogs, I remember many, many years ago I had a horse that was afraid of dogs. Then one day, I decided to turn the horse to face the dog and walk towards it. The dog ran away and the horse in that moment realized she was the one in charge, that dogs were nothing to be afraid of. It was like magic! And wow, again, I should remember that and use that sort of trick on myself! 😉
@Gimo76
@Gimo76 2 года назад
I get all these intrusive thoughts when I am trying to go sleep. At 70 I would hope my anxious life would go away. So, in comes a thought that someone is coming thru my window and I shoot them. I yell negative thought , negative negative …. That doesn’t help. I had emergency surgery and woke up with surprises.. going in again for reversal surgery. I am not afraid of dying but my anxiety has been up since the surgery. In comes intrusive thought and me shooting guys. I enjoy your videos…
@sheetalsoni7037
@sheetalsoni7037 3 года назад
Facing your fear gonna remove you anxiety!!.. thanks a lot for sharing
@kathleenunsworth4558
@kathleenunsworth4558 2 года назад
Very good advice. We all have the ability to learn and grow and overcome our fears. I believe positive energy is the way forward. The world needs more positive energy. Thank you. 🙂
@lailaburkardt9602
@lailaburkardt9602 2 года назад
You are a such a blessing! I want to thank you wholeheartedly for the videos and love you share!
@gigipm3383
@gigipm3383 2 года назад
I appreciate you sharing your own experiences
@grainnegrau
@grainnegrau 3 года назад
I love your veg garden Emma! And you do make a positive difference in this gal's life. I feel like the topics and examples you chose were straight from my life. I was a dog lover till I was five and I was cornered and viciously barked and snapped at for a few minutes by two escaped Dobermans. They even were yanking at my uniform skirt. My sister and my mom saved me, but I was on my way to school at the time, and I was shaking so much after the near attack that I couldn't go that day. I'm reminded of your video with the polar bear that was tranquilized and traumatized, but shook off his trauma and then went about his business. I'll bet he never got near a helicopter again though. Luckily, when I was visiting at my cousins' place, I got to meet their Golden Retriever puppy. Who could be scared of a Golden puppy, right? Well I was because my parents, young and very new at parenting as they were, didn't know to help me get over my new fear of dogs. Luckily my uncle is a very empathetic and kind man, and he saw that I was terrified of his puppy. So he spent an hour with me, slowly getting me used to the Golden - exposer therapy, right? And at the end of an hour I was rolling around on the ground with her, walking her on her lead, and just loving every minute of it since I really do adore dogs. Now my hubby and I have three dogs, and we don't ever want to revert to a life without them. There is risk, and sometimes problems as two of our dogs are dog reactive to other dogs outside the pack. But it's worth the extra effort it demands. And climbing - in another life I was like you, a safety conscious climber. I strangely love heights, and I agree with you that there are so many wonderful benefits to climbing. Though the climbing that I did was the result of my own risk assessment, even though I didn't quite call it that then. Thanks so much for the video - this is a really useful and meaningful way to choose and assess risks.
@TheLifeTidy
@TheLifeTidy 3 года назад
LOL I was wondering how you got the cool lighting effect!! Lighting gives me anxiety when making RU-vid videos for my channel! But you are so right in that facing it disempowers it!
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
yeah, I almost didn't post this video (I recorded it in July) because of the weird lighting, but I decided it was worth it to publish it.
@sb8010
@sb8010 Год назад
Your content is brilliant. The best on RU-vid by far. So insightful and helpful. You are amazing.! 😊
@cmmhelmond
@cmmhelmond 3 года назад
I am absolutely a catastrophic thinker ... when going outside where people are .... I like your climbing risk assessment ... very clear .... I just need to use it in many other social anxiety occasions as I can .. thanks
@TherapyinaNutshell
@TherapyinaNutshell 3 года назад
glad it could be helpful
@yoshiromare3207
@yoshiromare3207 2 года назад
Thank you so much for putting up all this information, seen a couple videos now and it definitely very helpful, I undesrtand myself and how I can have a healthier relationship with me☺️ Personally I have to accept my fear to success, I know where this limiting belief comes from but, yes, I'm missing out of a lot of things because this irrational way lf thinking. Everything I've lived or my family is just a lesson, I accept the level of risk that comes with success and compromise to live it responsable and conscious way. Thank you so much! God bless you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@anthonytsang2190
@anthonytsang2190 3 года назад
Thank You Emma. You make a "Big" positive difference!
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