originally uploaded at soundcloud by Richard D. James a.k.a. user48736353001 a.k.a. 8♣user48736353001 a.k.a. 8user48736353001 a.k.a. user18081971 a.k.a. .....hopefully to be continued.
This is exactly how it felt telling my mother goodbye. She was lying there in a hospital bed and they had unplugged her from dialysis so she would slowly go in peace since her body went through a complete organ failure. I was 20 when I had to say goodbye to her and hearing her breathe so roughly and speak so weakly, it felt like this song from that time to until I got home. Aphex Twin somehow knows who I am and how I feel to the point.
I can only imagine how sad that must be because im going through kinda the same thing with my grandma and whenever i see her in her bed i just feel like crying because i feel so bad she forgot my grandpa past away she also got her teeth mest up by the dentist so she cant talk as good anymore and this song is about to make me cry because im still listening to it while im typing but sorry for your loss stay strong.💪☹
Feels sooo good but still hurts at the same time...it reminds me of a dark time when I was hospitalized, completely alone, lost, speechless (I had lost my voice at the time) and fighting for my life. I'm ok now, so being able to listen to this gem makes me feel reborn again...Thank you AFX for making me feel like I've understood, for 4:48, all the mysteries of life ! Edit : It's been eight months since I wrote this message, I still don't understand all the mysteries of life, but I'm still here, everyday, healing while learning, working on myself, trying do to my best tho I now know I'm enough! By putting my soul into everything I do, I feel stronger day by day and finally I wouldn't be who I am without this : music! I truly can say now it saved my life a couple of times, it's the only thing I'm sure I'll always be able to trust, the only thing that will never ever let me down! And I have to thank AFX again, his music's been providing me so many emotions/memories/thoughts and dreams since 25 years now, you'll always be the GOAT in my heart!
the saddest tracks ive ever made were made in very happy moments, i bet the same for a lot of us. Art isnt always an extension of a mood, rather a sort of spirit that travels in and out. we are just vessels with different workflows lol
@@superultramega77 i agree, i find it better to write sad songs when i'm happy and happy songs when i'm sad. that way you are more critical of what you are doing. if i'm sad and making a sad song i'll just accept the 1st idea that pops into my head.
This sounds like a dead end, like the feeling of accepting that you’ve failed and that you’ve ultimately doomed that part of life that you’ve ruined. This is almost like watching the world mature without you; as you’re stuck thinking about the glory days.
Sounds like the breathing cycle of a terminally ill cancer patient before they pass. This track is helping me get through some shit. Thank you, Richard
Owiko7 it still haunts me years later. Weep when I hear it. I helped my grandmother through terminal cancer and in her last days, she developed a breathing pattern not unlike the rhythm in this track.
this song was a remedy to a dark time filled with grief and misery. yet here a human retrospects upon darkness and realizes that everything passes us by. this moment shall pass too with blistering meaninglessness. all of us search for the meaning when it's already here, right now. this intuitive gift of spirit allows permeation through the veil of the system. death is waiting for all of us, yet it is only death of the ego, the soul and spirit continue on. there is an infinity of love all around us. it is through the veil of perception that we may see this clearly. i hope to be greeted and embraced when my spirit flys. love all of you divine entities, enjoy this life to the fullest!
this is incredible. really. every sound is writhing and just seems to be saying something. Richard, fucking hell. makes me cry my fucking eyes out man, and I'm a real bastard.
This song reminds me of saying goodbye to my grandfather he had terminal cancer and was bed ridden and had to be assisted whenever he could rarely walk. I never saw him like that ever until that point and it broke me seeing him that way in his final days I came back home after seeing him (he lived overseas) he finally passed 4 days before my birthday I miss him everyday and I wish he didn’t have to go so painfully fast forward five years my grandmother has dementia and is reaching the end very soon seeing her that way triggered back the feelings and memories, they’ll meet again In heaven I miss you koroua and Nan rest in peace❤️
Ohhhh.... Nina.. How grateful i am you scored all this for us.. im sitting on my deck staring out into the city lights with a lit jay living the most tranquil mood iv ever experienced.. wallowing in the moment, i was compelled to sit down and write my second thank you note.. Without Rich and you to make it available.. i wouldn't be seeing this point of view into my life... I am so grateful, thank you.. Nina what ever your last name is.
Josh Miller ahhhhhh.. that sounds great! thanks for your nice comment. I enjoyed uploading them, as I always really appreciate uploads by others too. trying to give a bit back to the community let's hope there'll be more tracks soon! enjoy your night ~ ~ ~
A soundtrack of certain moments in my life. One of my favorites ambient trax ever. Is someone badass enough to write The chords? Respect from Wrocław, PL God bless you for The upload, and Richard for his work. Also love to all of you
Many nights, i lay awake hating myself for being me: lazy, immoral, narcissistic, entitled, utterly insistent that i do nothing with my time on this world till the day i die. So many times, i had the opportunity to start something good during my childhood, but i just threw it right back where it came from. It's an endless loop of hating myself, being too self-loathing to fix anything, and hating myself for it even more. It's nice to listen to a song that 'relates' to what you're feeling, especially when you have nobody else to do the same, just to lighten the load a bit. Im in an especially bad time right now since completing 9th grade because now I'm not a "kid" anymore, so i hope i can find some stranger here to somewhat help, even though we'll only ever communicate via this video's comment section.
Hey omg wth you’ve only since completed 9th grade? You’re still SO young and there’s so much to look forward to in the future even if you can’t see it right now. Even if you don’t see this, I hope things will get better. You don’t have to group yourself into those categories, you don’t HAVE to be those things. Focus on small steps, small goals to trust yourself more. You have to forgive yourself, you can’t dwell on the past. You may have heard all these things a million times, but you have to try and keep persisting through these hard times. You got this and I believe in you❤❤
@norahroselle I'm all good now dw. I recently figured out it wasn't me that was a failure, it's the ppl that gaslight me into thinking so. Turns out grades aren't everything, and procrastination is the result of unconfidence. Grades are still lower than I'd like, but no amount of hating myself is worth the extra few marks I get. (I had good ppl to help me accept that)
It feels as if I were rising to heaven and then all of a sudden my body stopped -- I became in limbo of it all. Stuck there in a glitched trance, does it invoke a sense of security and unsurety. Would it be best to move or be content with were we are now. Would I risk falling back down or a timeless gander at what I am not at. Makes you feel if living death is any different than the life we are now: should I stay put or see it all that I would never see.
i feel this track like going day after day with everything being the same as always, and without even caring about nothing as everything just pass by your side
This tune is so beautiful like sad music for a circus...the elephants have tears in their eyes and the clown is sitting alone in the corner taking pulls off a flask
@@ahmadmalaki8364 Yeah. One way to describe his music is; some people make movies or write books to create a great journey and weave together many experiences to form a whole story(and is truthful) and RDJ does this whole scale with one song. Some songs are magnificent in the same way.
This always gets me hyped because I remember the few seconds of this that was played on his old pukkelpop set with Luke vibert. Go check that out if you don't know
silent hill 3 beginning, mall level, normal world (when you are trying to leave the mall after douglas tries to stop you). the part where you hop out the bathroom window and run down that alley way....with the sunset a orange red haze. just before the nightmare world. i feel this song perfectly captures the feeling of that moment. uploaded on my birthday. please, anyone reading, play silent hill 3.
this song is infinitely cosmic. the beauty of everything and nothingness permeates my soul and i let go of everything. I am reminded of death, but also what it means to be alive. I won’t run from the pain, we all must feel this suffering to become who we want to be. it’s okay to feel hopeless in a world as tumultuous as this. but I won’t give up on my journey, if I did that would be when I fail. The terrors of sorrow strike me like a blade, I bleed all the same. we all do. what makes us who we are is the struggle, the difficulty, we must embrace it, feel it. love this ever changing world and sense the moment. any moment can be the pinnacle of bliss if you submit to it. when I feel the loss of a special person I stay true to the moment and let it all go. let yourself sink below these feelings, below yourself. float in the waves of the cosmic infinite. pain has turned me into a demon slayer, quite literally. I wake up with the sword imbued with my life essence and cut down the pain and monsters that plague me so deeply. every time I muster the strength and courage to fight onward I become better, stronger. I made an oath when I was a young boy to fight on no matter what, I never knew life could be this grim but I will stay true to myself and never give up. it seems the happiest people have usually gone through the most hardship; i am enlightened further that pain is the best catalyst for growth and love. every human is an extension of me, just as I am an extension of every human. beyond humans i am merely a conjured combination of chemicals made by this universe, therefore I lay here a combination with everyone else. i am happy to be here, where I am, going with the flow of life. listening to my intuition will lead me down the path of my true self. don’t close your heart, honey, there’s love for us all. these doors are berated by monsters yet I stand up to them and keep myself open to love and connection. grateful for everything, including my darkest hours. let’s all go on as a connected entity and frolic in the mist of the universe. let it all go sweetheart, iloveyou.
dios mio este dolor tan grande tan bello tan desgarrador infunde mi alma esta ahi en mi nuca una presion constante que me acompaña mi fiel compañera a donde me llevas la vida es bella mañana otro dia un dia yo contigo y todo sigue acaso esto es ser humano?
Was wondering the same thing, especially the mechanical, labored, breathing effect. To me it is reminiscent of a fireplace bellow, but I would like to find out as well..
The worst thing is i know there s no home anymore i have these things on my face that are visible and horrible for me which made me having dysmorphophobia and it s been years nobody have what i have in my case and it s horrible i m 20 i go to sleep at 6 am wake up around 6 pm dont go to school anymore since months. hate my life what i have will never go away i m alone i only live at my parent s house my das is jobless since 4 years only my mom work.. i have maybe 2 friends but never see them tbh and yep.. i only have guitar forpassion and i play games video i already know i ll never be in couple with a woman because i'm not a chad and rich. and yep, i never asked for this there s no hope i ve been so unlucky thats insane feel like i'm driving crazy i m taking drugs since some weeks i see a psy since weeks too but nothing works this is such a complex this i have hope is gone hapiness is gone fml
@@heqrusteoffde739 Aphex Twin on the Rephlex years What did you think of some of the later braindance artists that came along like Bogdan Raczynski? Were you into the music they were making? Bogdan was a massive inspiration for some of my tracks on the Drukqs album, the fact he was doing it all on a shit pc tracker..totally amazing, this was before 99.9% of people used the computer for everything, it was just for sequencing then, easy to forget that very significant fact now, his records are so underrated.
