Are homeschoolers properly socialized? 

People also have NO CLUE how many of us they run into on a daily basis, because we don't walk around with neon signs reading "I'M A HOMESCHOOLER" 🤣 I'm a homeschool/unschooling graduate, with a college degree in psychology and a master of arts in child development. Now I unschool my daughter, who clearly was not going to thrive in a traditional school setting; we aren't *incredibly* busy, but we still have things going on almost every day, from online classes to meetups to a self-directed education center that she gets dropped off for twice a week. School breaks are by far the worst, because all our normal activities are canceled and everyone else is enjoying our favorite hang outs!

I laugh when people assume our kids are all trapped in the house for the exact same amount of hours as public school kids are in the classroom. It’s just a different wavelength!

Stealing the phrase "underground society of homeschoolers". Haha it's so true though!

I agree, and it's great! I probably would have thought more about it if that were the case years ago. I just don't like being judged (especially by someone I've never even met) for not homeschooling. Therefore, I'm a bad parent.

I love, love, love this! -a former Homeschooler and now Homeschool Mom

Same here!

Me too

What a relatable comment lol 😅

Lol!! Exactly!! 😂😂😂

baaahaaa that's exactly what happens 😂

Agreed. I’m still teaching in a public school, but I’ll be done in a few years. I’ve already told my kids (ages 19-23) that I’ll be homeschooling my grandkids (should any of them decide to have kids.)

@@angelat.8997 What if they don't want that?

@@aryabiss9445 we can ask you the same. What if public school kids don’t want that? Do you pull them out of public school because that’s what they want?

Same! Except I taught for only 5 years. I’ve been homeschooling for the past 5 years now.

​@@JuniperLynn789I mean yeah.. if a public school kid doesn't want to be in public school and you have the resources to either do online or homeschool then go for it.

💯 Yes! I attended public school, private school, and home school. Everyone has to pick what is right for their child and their family. My mom was part of a community that stressed home schooling and she felt a lot of pressure to home school us. It was not her calling, she was trying to contort herself into a mold she didn't fit in because she thought it was what was best for us. In the end it did much more harm than good. My personal favorite was public school, as was my siblings, because it had the most diversity. We were more accepted by our peers. In my experience private schools and home school groups were more insular, homogenous groups except in major metropolitan areas. I simply didn't fit in with that group. I'm really thankful my parents figured out which schooling environment fit best for our family. No matter what anyone chooses for their family, I would suggest socializing outside of one specific group. If the children go to public school, maybe try a church or community group. If they are home schooled maybe try an after school program aimed towards the public school crowd. The ultimate goal is for them to be prepared for adulthood. Part of that is for the children to grow up being capable of working and interacting with all kinds of people. No matter what though, don't try to force something that isn't a good fit.

i had a very similar homeschooled experience as a child and went to a public school in 10th grade. i never thought i would homeschool my 4 kiddos but here i am on year 6 of homeschooling. our homeschool looks very very different then what i was raised in. like anything else, there is a right and a wring way to do it. and like anything else, you're heart condition matters. thanks for sharing you're story 💜

I also had a similar experience, my mom did her best but only had a 10th grade education. Once I went to highschool I thrived. But I have made the decision that I will homeschool my kiddos after preschool.

@@calicarolinagirl i don't think only having up to a 10th grade education would be an issue. anyone can take curriculum and teach from it. all the answers are in the teacher keys. i think personally and whether you have the gift of teaching are much larger hurtles overcome.

I really appreciate reading your perspective on what not to do. I am on my 4th year of homeschooling my kids and I am constantly looking for comments like this one so I can make sure that I improve and make my kids homeschool experience a positive one.

This is the best thing I have ever read about homeschooling, and I appreciate your full perspective beyond words. I have a feeling this is what most if not all previously homeschooled people mean when they say “I was homeschooled, don’t do it.”

if I lived in the woods I wouldn’t be too happy with JWs getting on my property either! That’s wrong of them.

Yeah, missionaries come since not all people living in the woods are there to avoid interaction. I'm not a JW, but I apologize in behalf of them for any anxiety caused! ❤

I think that sometimes school can bury who you actually are due to wanting to conform to everyone else, and then you spend your twenties and thirties refining who you were, then you're weird. I think being weird and different is good and it leads to innovation. I hope I can instill that in my kids.

I also use the college experience of my brothers to point out the benefits of homeschool. One of my brothers often got comments in college, because he would wear real clothes to school like polos or button down shirts. He was always at the top of his classes and on the dean’s list, so I guess homeschool works. (He’s an engineer and got a great job out of school. All my brothers have done very well in college, and are very sociable!)

@@Rosie_Cbecause getting dressed up to go to a lecture beyond the first few days is weird, this is why homeschooling is bad. These people don’t learn social rules and end up getting what’s basically Asperger’s

@@SlapShotTakes Why is it weird to dress respectfully? Your carriage says much about your mindset and attitude towards whatever you are doing. Also, I know many people who were homeschooled and have excellent social skills. Much of that has to do with how a person is raised. There are plenty of people who went to public school who have limited social skills.

@@SlapShotTakesI am at a loss as to your connection between dressing how you please and lack of social skills. There are many people in public schools that dress differently and do not conform to the standard garb, however they are not viewed as socially incapable according to the logic you have put forth. Taking pride in your appearance and dressing to please yourself is the mark of a well developed self esteem and an awareness of your own emotional needs. And your conclusion that you will somehow “get Asperger’s” is asinine at best and shows the weakness of your argument. I suggest in future you fine tune your opinions before putting them onto a public platform.

@@Rosie_CI completely agree with you! Additionally, homeschoolers are far less likely to suffer from peer bullying compared to their public school counterparts which in many situations leads the public school child to be less developed socially for their future interactions.

So so true!!! There are socially inept people everywhere. Public school doesn't fix that....nor does anything else..

Yea I'm inept and awkward because I learnt to fear other people based on my experiences in school. Probably would've been better off home

@@snoozyq9576where you wouldn’t meet people at all

You point out something that I think people often misunderstand. Not fitting into to the culture created at public school does not make you awkward or weird. There is no other time in life where that culture exists either. Rather you were raised to be comfortable interacting and communicating in “the real” world that for some reason everything thinks you won’t be able to handle?….. lol coming from someone who was homeschooled until high school and am currently a homeschool mom. Congrats on college!

Yes! When I transitioned from college to the full-time workforce I realized that I had no experience interacting with adults as their peer. I had worked in several part-time jobs, but I was always treated as a kid, and I had accepted that. Socializing with fellow adults of different ages was really weird for the first few years. My kids now socialize with all ages. I hope it helps them build their identity in a more realistic atmosphere.

There's definitely a gap depending on the family and what kids are exposed to between homeschoolers and public school kids as far as pop culture goes. It's not necessarily a bad thing but when you already feel a bit alienated from your peers, not knowing the current popular lingo, etc. can feel like such a burden. As an adult, not so much. It gets better.

Happy to hear all of that, although there’s nothing wrong with having sex with someone you care about once you’re mature enough to make that decision together (and take care to use the proper protection)

​@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 only have sex when you're ready to have a baby and are in a committed relationship for the baby's sake and stability. The only time you're in a committed relationship is when you are married.

There are programs out there that give parents money to buy curriculum. The one we use gives $1,700 per year per kid. There's also lots of good curriculum out there and it's free. You just gotta search it out.

Yes! Children acting as each other’s role models doesn’t work. We all need role models we can admire.

Exactly!!

Doesn't necessarily mean their aren't pros and cons to both sides

@@tacobell1299 Never said there wasn't. Just provided a personal anecdote with no implied conclusons.

I think you can have that healthy influence from your home life, and then be exposed to the influence of your peers at school. You can't hide sex and drugs from someone forever, they will eventually go out into the world and by not being given a chance to either experiment or turn down the offer, they might feel like they missed out so they need to make up on lost time. I went to public school, was exposed to sex and drugs, didn't partake in either, and now happy as an adult who didn't partake anyway. I had healthy influence from my parents and my huge extended family at home, and also had like unbreakable friendships that I have kept for 10 years from school. It's so invaluable to allow your kids to make such strong bonds to soemone who isn't fsmily in my opinion, it really made me a person who able to interact with all sorts of peoples and ideas, because I was exposed to so many different kinds, and excericse my free will on wether I'd accept them into my life or not. Now as an adult I am confident in making the right decisions becaue I had so much practise in school while I was still with my parents

I'm all for people doing what they need to do and what feels best for them and their kids. But so many parents that are engaged and active with their children are no longer in the school system, and it feels harder on parents that are still there. So many of my friends in our area that home school are so deep in their own echo chambers, I can't help but feel their kids are in for a rude awakening when they go off to college and find out other perspectives and ways of life exist. I begged my parents to home school me through the middle school years, so I might do that for my children if they are faced with the same obstacles I was faced with; but I'm not going to make that decision lightly or as a trauma response to my own experiences in middle school. I really like our school district at the elementary level, and will just play it by ear. But I believe education is in and out of a classroom, and my children come home with great conversations from things they heard or experienced at school.

Man, it can't be the future unless we can afford for most families to have one parent stay home. Do you not understand that most people cannot afford that and/or work in careers that can't be done remotely? If not most, the majority. We need to have better support for families, financial intensives, etc, so it's available, if it is indeed the future.Or maybe only Some families will get the great benefits of this that you proclaim (and I agree, when it works). It's like you want all the poor kids to go to public school because both their parents have to work outside the home?

Yess! That is one big positive thing about school... Sadly, in the area where I live (smallish town) I've found that many white families have decided to homeschool their kids because of "changing demographics" 😮 they don't want their kids to be part of a diverse community 😢 they're afraid that having exposure to people that have a different culture would "corrupt" them😒 I think that deep down they're just racist😕 I know that many people benefit from homeschooling and they do it for the right reasons.

My condolences for your loss of childhood. I hope you can heal from the trauma and find the life path that works for you. It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to live it. This story tracks with my experience. A fellow homeschooling mom was telling me the other day that parents nowadays don’t seem to realize that pressures on school kids are much worse than when we were in school. My teenage daughter participates in a student theater organization where she’s the only homeschooler. I have been surprised by how unhappy her fellow teens are. At one point, there was someone in crisis crying through every meeting. A friend’s daughter, at a different school, has been suicidal for at least two years now, engaging in self-harm, in and out of all the treatments, now on ketamine. A classmate of hers recently died of a fentanyl overdose in the school bathroom. I also hear of high schoolers taking amphetamines to be able to keep up heavy academic schedules. I knew a few people like this in college and even in grad school. In the end they didn’t go far.

@@pechaa @pechaa thank you for your kind words. I was saved and transformed by Jesus Christ and my life is awesome now 😎 not without any struggles, but I have a solid ground to let go of the past. I did make it out pretty well, but a lot of mine and my husband's friends have gone down really bad paths or overdosed. There is this enormous pressure on college and success and being important, but no sense of any identity and love for life/others. I suspect a large part of this is tv/media glorifying mental illness, drug use, and social drama. Nobody is giving positive attention to kids seeking peace with others and finding inner happiness. It's all about strife. I plan on homeschooling my kids too. Seems like a better use of time anyway. Sorry to hear about your friends' children. I hope there will be some kind of reckoning soon and people realize something isn't working.

Public schools vary today just as they did when I was growing up (I’m a xennial- in between gen x and millennials). I went to a small town public school where we all knew each other fairly well. There was a crowd who smoked and drank and a few tried marijauna. That wasn’t my crowd and I was also very involved in Young Life (Christian youth group) so was hanging out with like minded kids from my school and the local regional school in the next town over. My son now attends public school and we are in a smaller town than where I grew up. His graduating class is about 21 kids. Mine was 56. His school is prekindergarten through 12th grade, all in one building (sectioned out so first graders don’t run into high schoolers in hallways but the gym, cafeteria, library is all shared by everyone). So they all know each other there too. He does report kids vaping in the bathroom but says it’s not anyone in his class (freshman) or anyone he is friends with. Teachers don’t pick fights with the students (I’m surprised this happens anywhere) and he has really great teachers. Yes, social life for teens can be toxic these days. But it’s all about having a relationship with your kids where you talk to them, get to know their friends and become involved in the school as much as possible. I volunteered in the classroom some years, events they put on, working the book fair, etc. I make sure to have conferences with teachers. I have to be extra involved when it comes to his 504 plan due to his ADHD. But my son is growing up having parents that care about what he’s doing, monitor his social media, and just talk with him. He recently had his first real romantic relationship- didn’t last terribly long, but when it ended he wanted to talk it out. We have been talking about it off and on and it’s helping him process. I know my mom was super involved in my life too and I had a great high school experience. I would never homeschool my son as he’s a huge extrovert who needs social interaction. He would have withered on the vine even if we had been in groups and co-ops and all that. He needs to be with other kids 6 hrs a day. I’m also too much of an introvert and need alone time to recharge from his extroversion!! Lol

​@@amypetersen1668 curious what year were you born?

@@dallasoch not sure why it matters. I mentioned I'm a xennial- look that up to find the small range of years

Good for you! I’ve been a nanny for 10 years and watched the harm it does to children because parents have no patience and no desire to put in the effort to acquire some. My mother raised 6 sons and 2 daughters - she was an excellent example of patience to me.

If you take account of the fact that you need a university degree(at least in all the countries I've been to) to be able to legally teach to kids, homeschooling really makes no sense. Homeschooled kids will still attend the standard final exams to make sure they are on the same level as kids their age throughout the years(don't know how it's done in the US). Maybe you can get away with elementary, but when you get to high school it gets hard....all the high level math and statistic, chemistry, geology, astronomy, ALL of world history, ecc. Even just knowing all the literary currents contestualized in each time period, through different cultures, is not a easy task. How do you do it? Do people hire private teachers for different subjects when it gets hard?

@@giobach3622 My family was so fortunate to have an excellent teacher in our homeschool group (not university educated at all, but incredible in every subject). My parents are both very intelligent, so my dad would help if we had trouble in high school. I can tell you this - all 5/6 of my brothers who have graduated high school after being home schooled their whole lives, have done excellently well in college and been at the top of their classes. The quality of public education in America is rapidly declining. I graduated high school in 2009 and I rarely encounter anyone in life who got a better education than I did. Another huge plus is that I continue to teach myself new things all the time.

Thankfully these days there are SO many resources making homeschool much easier for family's everywhere! The thought of high school gives me anxiety but my oldest child just finished first grade and I have great faith that come those high school years even more resources will be available!

I am a high school teacher and I have had former home school kids that parents did an awesome job, as well as others... including some scary neglect and abuse. There is the whole range of homeschooling experience out there.

It's also not all-or-nothing - you don't need to know the material to homeschool your child, you just need to be willing to learn it alongside them and help them find the supports they need. Homeschooling is so ultimately flexible and can fit any style or method that works best for each family - and when it stops working, it's wonderful that we have a public education system for those who need and want it :)

It's the same thing with school. I was homeschooled on and off and went to private and public schools. There are bad and good teachers. I thought everyone knew that. Of course there are some parents that'll get it wrong and some right. That's like that in everything.

@@katecraig2974 Part of the problem with evaluating home education is that it is a self-defining movement. So people call themselves home schoolers when they are really doing no home education, don't intend to educate, and only use the label to avoid scrutiny. This is definitely a problem that the home school community needs to recognize and work with law enforcement to fix, but these are usually not actually home schoolers but "counterfeit" home schooling families. Home schooling can be poorly done, but the abuse and neglect is about people pretending to home school in order to get away with crimes.

I started out homeschooling for academic reasons, stayed for the superior socialization and emotional development that homeschooling provides in a functional family.

Do you have a local co-op group? Perhaps visiting with them would help change your husband’s mind. Homeschooled kids get socialization with ALL age groups. They learn how to interact on so many more levels than just their own age. Also, point out that colleges really like seeing “homeschooled” on applications as homeschooled kids are better equipped!

​@@amykat5 I second this! Showing him a healthy thriving group of people that you can socialize your kids around would be awesome.

Yes!!! I had to relearn some things in order to teach my daughter! 😄

@@amykat5yes! I’m re learning fraction grids😆

You probably would have had issues with that even in public schools

@@SAHMmiller oh, without a doubt.

I went to public school. I was bullied for years and ended up with social anxiety Ps: I'm sorry for what you've been through

Be thankful to your mom who homeschooled you. It doesn’t sound like public school would have been a good fit for you. Kids are cruel and ruthless.

THIS IS WHY HOMESCHOOLING IS BAD! Homeschool kids never end up well rounded because there’s no chance to learn about real life. You can’t have a ‘girlfriend’ in 1st grade you hold hands with for like a day, you can’t mix one of every food in a chocolate milk carton during lunch w ur best friend and call it ‘the concoction’ you can’t learn to properly question authority or see the failures of its enforcement. You can’t get judged from an objective standpoint by people who don’t know or share the same values as you. Just send kids to school

Agreed, we homeschool and love it and my son gets a lot of socialization. However, I think of my own childhood, school was my only outlet because of the abuse at home and I doubt I would have made it to adulthood if I was homeschooled. I don't know what the answer is there, but you have a valid point.

@@kileyholmes3980 I appreciate the rational response! Overall I lean towards oversight on homeschooling. This took place in Texas, there is none. I think there should be mandatory evaluations for all students (not just homeschooled) to check on academics and mental/physical health. That would go a ways to help prevent what I went through.

I am so sorry you had such a crappy awful experience. Lest we forget all of the horrible things that happen at public schools. How many teachers have molested children? It's actually more common than is commonly known. How about teaching inappropriate things? I had a teacher who would yell "sex" to get our attention. I also had a middle school teacher go into graphics about sex without our parents knowing. Also, they have an average of less than 40% of kids actually proficient in core curriculum. Why do we let public schools can get away with this, why worry so much about homeschooling and then say that public school is better?

@@BradKandyCroftFamily Both should be monitored more closely than they are. I was molested by my father and this is part of why I’m weary. In a school, in theory, there should be other adults to talk to when things happen. For homeschooled children the parents are able to take all other adults out of the equation and make it easier to abuse them.

It's definitely not just for middle class families! When my mom started homeschooling us, we were below the poverty line, too.

i was homeschooled and then went to school but i have to say i did prefer having a tutor at home and then i met other kids who were homseschooled and they were very strange.

I think it’s interesting you blame being homeschooled for this. I’ve seen public schooled adults who couldn’t do those things either.

That’s not a homeschool thing that sounds like a cult thing to me.

@@sadiemcc9363 you might be onto something sadie

Should meet my son, can work in several computer languages, build computers from scraps, understood Folding at Home when he was 12, loves Ubuntu and makes awesome jam and goat cheese .

To a one, my children are grateful that I did not homeschool them.

I'm sorry you were told that - maybe that person was just having a bad day? Public / Home school is not a marker of your love for your children and you should never be (or feel) judged in that way. People just do some things differently, that's all! A good, loving mother does her best to make her children feel loved and secure regardless of their circumstances. She feeds, cherishes, teaches and plays with them the best she can and should never be compared to others. Don't feel guilty or be so hard on yourself, your children need YOU, no one else can be the precious Mum you already are to them 🥰❤️

True! I know some people who are truly socially awkward and went to public school. I also know a lot of homeschoolers and they definitely aren’t weird. I went to public school and am a super introvert who has a fine social life but I don’t love to “people”. My son also attends public school and is the most extroverted and outgoing person I know. He’s very social and always has to be doing something with friends or on his phone with friends (he’s an only child so no siblings to play with). The personality you are born with can be affected by poor socialization, but it won’t totally change who you are

Dude just send kids to normal schools. We have this pathological need to be right about something, be ‘smarter than the masses’ when really the majority are in the same place. Let the smart people figure out how to make your kids learn. The power is on, the food from California is still fresh and the military is 20 yrs ahead of the competition. They’re doing a good job let the system work for once.

The opposite can be a concern too. Public schools can be a toxic environment. When I went to high school in the 2010s, boys would watch p*rn on the school computers, I saw girls get sexually assaulted IN CLASS and nobody did anything, and of course there was bullying. I went to a nice school btw and the teachers were great, it was the students who made the experience awful.

Sometimes school can be an escape, but unfortunately for kids already under stress from bad situations at home school often becomes additional stress because of the problems there and because the social climate these days often means any kid already struggling becomes a target. Abuse and bad homes are terrible, but unfortunately you can't usually fix that with a public school. Healthy community and extended family is the best chance at fixing it, but even in home school communities we really don't have that consistently these days. Really sad.

What you're not considering is the reverse is also true. Those students stuck in public schools that don't support them are trapped in a traumatic toxic environment.

​@@SlapShotTakesdepends on the kid. I'm autistic. If I have an autistic child, I'm home schooling. There is no way on this planet that I would ever be comfortable sending an autistic kid to school. It was horrible.

Honest question, what do you personally think is messed up about the school system? (I assume you are in the states?) You have unique perspective as someone who was public and homeschooled and has worked in it as a teacher.

@@madisonlimb It would be very hard to write what all goes on in a-- not only brief-- but also non-controversial way. A lot of what the education system is pushing into kids goes strictly against my faith and beliefs, and to tell everything that happened and goes on would just not fit all here. Also, is very controversial, and I wouldn't want to start that kind of threat here. But aside from that, there is a very deep loss of what the true role of a teacher vs. a parent is. The education system is pushing to take over parenting kids and dismiss parents as the true authority and responsible adults in charge of their own children. Granted, there are parents that like that and prefer to have the school take over raising them and they just drop their kids off and pick them up everyday. But there are parents that want to be very involved with their children's upbringing, and schools are very unsupportive of it. Now, that is only my experience, in a couple of schools, so take it with a grain of salt. 😊 But I see the trend surpass more than just the schools I worked at. It was enough for me to know that I wanted to be the parent that was in charge of my children's upbringing, and to me that meant homeschooling them. Hope that answers your question a bit?

I was exclusively public schooled, and so was my husband. We are both awkward weirdos. So were all the bullies in school, and the high school kids who picked their nose (yup, that happened), and the teachers who sleep with their students (sometimes that makes the news, most of the time it doesn't). How about the kids with no friends? There were a TON of those kids? Is that just the byproduct of proper socialization?

Thank you. It’s so hard to find any homeschool criticism around here.

Yes!

Find peace with your choices, or you will forever be triggered by the mere mention of something different than what your family chose to do.

Love it!

🥰🥰🥰

Motive matters with every choice. I knew some folks who chose public school programs because teachers and admin gave them pats on the back for having such "gifted" children that the schools kept away from the "riff raff" -- can have a similiar effect to what you are describing. That's not a school choice thing, that's really just about parental narcissism and control. As regards the parents "home schooling" because the kids are expelled, that's one of the things I find most reprehensible about our public school system, every child should have the right to a public education and home school should only be a free choice made by a family that thinks it is best for them, never a coerced or forced decision. The schools have no right to refuse education to some children over others.

This is why I am terrified of homeschooling. I want my kids to be able to make their own choices about their lifestyle, for example my cousins were forced into heavily Christian homeschooling, and they may be smart but they are socially awkward and they haven’t been in very many real life situations! Public school can be a nightmare sometimes but it taught me a lot of life lessons that my cousins don’t know. If I were to homeschool I would have to find a way for my kids to still be able to meet all different sizes, shapes, and types of children and adults. It seems like that is hard to find in small homeschool groups.

I think your story really drives home the point that kids will be as weird as their parents, and the weird families are the ones that stand out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people be surprised when I say I was homeschooled because my family is so “normal”

I'm not going to disagree that those parents made a lot of mistakes. The weird thing is to highlight that their failings across many choices highlights an "issue" with homeschooling. Do we use the stories of horrible bullies and say "parents you better be careful of putting your kids into a traditional school! We know of this one family that let their child be a nasty monster and THEY public schooled!" No, we don't. In fact, you could so easily say that the major issues with school shooters, bullying, and abysmal test scores could be linked to the very hands off approach parents can take when the school takes over most of their responsibilities with their children. But we dont all jump up and say traditional schooling is ok for a select few but overall a questionable choice. How many other areas do we have this response to the things that are socially common vs uncommon?

@@ruthdurfee4439" we", as in society at large, actually have that response in a lot of areas, if you stop and think about it. Although, I'm not quite sure you get the full point of my post. There are a lot of reasons people homeschool, and the outcomes are sometimes questionable, but not always. As I said, I've known some very bright, capable parents who chose to homeschool because they could, and had/have the money and time to do things to really broaden their kids horizons, like traveling and learning as they travel across the country and around the world. That's different than feeling forced to because your kids behavior is causing frustration at school, or because you want to keep your kids in a bubble and only teach them what you want them to know. The last one is super culty, and not just weird or awkward, but potentially harmful. Think about all the Duggar kids and how the older girls have been sharing the damage done to them because their parents were strict, staunchly religious, and homeschooling helped them to keep their kids not only sheltered, it kept them from seeing the truth that what was happening to them was emotional abuse, and led to their vulnerability to be sexually abused by their own brother.

Maybe if you selfishly want to have your kids childhoods all to yourself. Let them go. You don’t own them.

Actually, they have more confidence and socialized than a lot of their public schooled friends…yes they do have friends. Many!

@@MustardseedMomma68 I’ve seen research to suggest otherwise. You do know what research is, right? 😂

@@MustardseedMomma68 every mom thinks their kid is great, but when they get to the workforce, I hope they know how to function

​@@MustardseedMomma68 Confidence doesn't mean intelligence or social skills. And yeah, you would have confidence if you had only had your mom telling you how wonderful you are your whole life. You would have no idea that you are just like everyone else.

Why the heck would any parent just leave their kids at home alone and call it homeschool?! I for one, don't want the government all up in my business. However, I would never leave my kids alone so I can go to work. I want to stay home with my kids and experience life with them!

Yes, people check in on homeschooled children... LOL I live in a highly regulated state where my children have to take standardized tests periodically and they have to be interviewed by an approved evaluator with experience in education. I have to show 180 days of work and give them a portfolio of our work all year long- then that gets sent to our local public school. All of this comes after I inform our school district of my intentions year after year. There are VERY FEW states that do not require anything... Why would someone leave their children at home alone and not educate them when the public school system provides free education and free babysitters!? It's best not to assume their situations- perhaps they were both struggling with mental and behavioral issues and it was BEST for THEM to stay home! They probably avoided lots of judgment and people thinking things like this about them... and who knows maybe they left church for similar reasons.

​@@mountainmama7155because not everyone's home life is good. Some kids genuinely need public school for this reason. Some kids have abusive families and their escape is going to school. Which is extremely sad and unfortunate

You know parents actually ask their kids what they are interested in, right? No young child is actually seeking these things out themselves, but they are able to say " I want to learn Spanish next year" or "I like hanging out with these kids because they aren't bossy." We can accommodate those things usually, if you can find the opportunity and it fits schedules, etc and of course you are actually doing this for your kids. It is also the job of the parent to say, "you know, we actually have too busy of a schedule this season" instead of signing their kids up for five sports when they never are able to eat at home as a family as it is. All kinds of parents fall into that trap, the idol of busyness, where it benefits no one to be running around amok. Kids do actually thrive in that realm of finding ways to fill their time, and then building a real treehouse or reading a whole series or exploring a new part of a piece of land where they learn something new... There are studies on this, but of course it's countercultural to have space to breathe. It's the parent's job to protect that space too, and find the balance of too little activity (this is actually pretty hard to be on this side when you have all day to go places and meet groups) and too much. There can be way too many activities available and not enough time when you live in an area with lots of opportunities. The amount of time in an entire day versus just on breaks, evenings, and weekends is quite large, so homeschool families are able to explore many more options timewise when you think about it.

Well at school its usually curated by teachers who make sure the kids have after school clubs and things like that. And so if the teachers are also the parents then it's their job to find kids things they are interested in or places they can go to hang out with kids. I can see that you value the experience you had in school and the opportunities that you got to have. I was homeschooled and we were poor but I wanted to do gymnastics and so my mom scraped enough money together so I could go. That was a place where I met many people and had a huge social life. Would I have had such a great time in public school? Perhaps but I also got more personal one on one time with the teacher so that I could ask more questions without feeling stupid, and I had tons of activities more than my public school friends had.

If you’re afraid of parents being trusted to influence their own children, you haven’t much faith in humanity. In my opinion, healthy homeschool families are democratic. My homeschooled kids had more personal power and influence over their pursuits than their schooled peers. I always listened to them and considered myself a resource to connect them with their interests, whatever they happened to be.

​@@The_Winsome_Pixieas a school teacher I have absolutely lost a lot of faith in parents to do the right thing by the children. I see abused, neglected, overworked and spoilt children everyday whose parents are clueless and or uncaring to the damage they are causing. I think you should need a licence before you are entrusted with your own human.

​@@MrLyndsay1983Those are simply bad parents, thankfully and not the majority or all parents.

Homeschooling isn't about discipline or patience any more than parenting is. If you are raising them, saturate the environment with books and opportunities to try things, just reading with them and pointing out sight words will give them a major boost. Consider the school as daycare and real education is with you, you will be amazed

@@cherylcarlson3315 we read a lot as it is my favorite pastime. I'm just pointing out that I don't feel able to make sure her lessons are done in a timely manner and without my losing patience trying to teach her and help her while her younger sister is running around. We live with my son, but he works and their mother is no help. Obviously , or I wouldn't be raising them. I have sight words taped on just about everything in our home, and they both go on hunts every day to find the words I give them. I do believe that discipline and patience are a large part of parenting, though. This being my second go around, I am doing things a lot differently than I did the first time and it seems to be working better. Patience is a large part of effective parenting in my opinion. As is discipline. It has to be consistently done, but I have learned as I've gotten older that it can be much more gently done.

Yep. Spot on.

I mean, after school I went to Girl Scouts, church activities, a million other things to interact with adults. The point of school Is that your peer group is your age and developmental level. It is developmentally healthy to interact with peers your own age, and leads to better educational outcomes because children naturally mimic and imitate each other.

You realize there are adults at school, right? 😊 But in real life, I’m not sure children need many adult stranger friends. If they go to the playground, you expect them to play with other kids in their age group, right? This is because they’re at the same developmental level and they learn from mimicking each other. Being around peers your own age group is infinitely more important for childhood development than being a prop or plaything for adults.

❤️❤️❤️

@@mariek9892t understanding how it leads to better education outcomes when homeschoolers in general significantly out perform their public school peers. A quick (or in depth) google search and various sources will all say the same thing… and wouldn’t they learn better by imitating someone older with more knowledge and experience than someone at the same level as them 🤔

@@mariek9892 Only socializing with peers is a problem. It’s the socially blind leading the socially blind. Children need role models. They need older children and adults to look up to, and as they get older they also benefit from taking on the responsibility of being looked up to by younger kids.