Are We Allowed to Love Baby Reindeer? 

I am just so glad we bisexuals are getting the representation we deserve with one of our known forms: an awkward stand up comedian

I have absolutely no sympathy for a woman who outed herself and went on an international broadcast showcasing herself.

I have a lot of respect for Richard Gadd, in not only reenacting his harrowing real life experience of being stalked, but his sexual assault as well.

I can tell you this: I'm a male survivor of rape, and I'm glad that not only is Richard Gadd coming forth to tell his story, but because of the show I have felt less afraid to tell people about what happened to me. I'm obviously not at the point where Mr. Gadd is where I can tell literally everyone about it, and the exact nature of it is something I can count the amount of people I've told about it on one hand. But that he told his story and also that I saw myself in a lot of it, especially the fallout of the event, really struck a chord with me.

If you don’t want people talking about your bad behaviour, don’t behave badly. Gad has every right to talk about what Fiona did. Why should anyone be forced to quiet about their experiences with someone’s bad side? She outed herself. That’s her fault.

I don’t know if Kayla sees the comments, but if she does - she did the only correct thing she could have done with regard to Elaina. I agree that most mentally ill people are more of a risk to themselves than to anyone else - but when someone has a specific fixation, it changes things. It raises the stakes considerably. That fixation is much more likely to result in harm because instead of a thousand random interests… there becomes one specific target for that anguish to be directed towards. As a long term stalking victim - it was nearly a decade long campaign of stress and fear - I have been unable to watch Baby Reindeer. I don’t need to know how scary a stalking situation can become - I know. I will say, though, that there is no doubt in my mind that Gadd has the right to tell his story. Is someone not allowed to speak about, for example, their sexual assault because their attacker has the right to privacy? Of course not! We preserve the identity of victims because they are not the ones causing harm or whom others would be best warned about. Aggressors, perpetrators, and criminals - their victims are absolutely allowed to tell their stories and even to name those people should they choose. “Martha” decided to disclose her own identity - Gadd did her a favor she did not deserve.

It helps men who are abused bc their stories don't get told bc of shame. His story is raw and honest and abusers should not be protected. I have no sympathy for her. Not naming her explicitly was gracious but also will probs be his saving grace. She's the one choosing the spot light. She wants attention. She seemed unhinged in the interview too.

That Piers Morgan interview was so wild to watch, and the fact he followed it up with a panel featuring Dr. Drew was even more heinous. Somewhere between Richard and Fiona though, there is the truth. What Richard did by sharing his story has already helped so many people.

I'm sorry if this is a controversial opinion, but I feel this very strongly -- how is this even a discussion? I absolutely despise being that guy, but why are we sympathising with an assaulter? Is it because Richard Gadd is a man? Is it because, no matter the situation, we see the woman as the victim? (I'm very much a believe all victims guy and know very well that women are overwhelmingly the absolute majority of assault victims; not my point though). I see people saying that she was harassed by people on the internet; and? Why should we care? If this was a man, people would be seething to get him more jail time, and I'm sorry, this feels so hypocritical that it makes me sick. I'm a man, I've faced assault (albeit, from another man), and I cannot imagine how much more appalled people would be when I tell them about it if I was a woman. It's always an awkward, embarrassed look and silence. This show is incredible for speaking out about this in such a succinct and genuine manner. Men are allowed to tell their stories too, no matter how detailed, and for fuck's sake, he didn't even name her, which he very much could've. All my respect to Gadd and all my bafflement against the critical response to this.

Lifehack: if no one ever watches Piers Morgan, eventually he will go away.

the first five minutes was amazing storytelling, bravo

I feel that people have the right to portray their trauma via art to heal. I know he has a big platform and everything but is not his responsabillity to protect someone that did that to him. He changed the name, she decided to come out and tell everybody, Richard didn't do that. Also I can't stop comparing this to a song a famous singer writes about something like an abusive relationship or something like that, many people are gonna figure out who that person was but, who cares? Nobody forced the person to do terrible things, talking about a traumatic experience just to get revictimized by the person that made you a victim in the first place is beyond fair. It would be a different conversation if the person didn't do any of the things they're acussed of, but that would be lying and it wouldn't be a real trauma story and I think that's diffamation. Like you can't be mad you did something horrible and the person you did that to telling their story, like just don't do that and people are not gonna say u did it.

I think it’s wild she’s trying to sue when she clearly states over and over it’s not her…. But she’s suing Netflix for portraying her and incorrectly saying she has a criminal record? Also in the interview with Piers she clearly states “‘it’s not defamation if it’s true” LMAO like she really just outted herself. This is what stalkers want in the end - attention

I do sorta feel that the UK Government pushback was because of the Netflix series “The Crown” and “Scoop” which involve the British Royal family.

I love the more creative storytelling of this video, I'm down for this direction every couple of videos if you still have it in you

I don't think Fiona has much of a case against Netflix, i mean i get that she's a lawyer and I'm not but "Martha" legally is a fictional character , she's not being accused of anything directly, therefore it can't be defamation?

Loved the personal story intro, getting better and better at storytelling

He is an amazing talent. I think he stuck as close as he could while translating it to effective tv.

I feel like going on Piers Morgan should cancel out her trying to sue. Not everyone watched it and ran to social media to find her…but my mom who hadn’t even watched the show yet was talking about seeing a clip of that interview on the news.

That personal anecdote was the best part of any one of your videos I've seen.

Welll uh.. thar was the MOST cinematic and dramatically beautiful opening you have ever done. You okayy?? I loved the vid tho!

I feel like a baby reindeer it's such an honest retelling of this experience, it feels way too genuine to be fake. I would hope that Netflix would have been a DBS check, (this is what we call a police check in the UK), but if we did "Martha" would have generally been made aware as we send what we find to the person's home address.

It’s Anne Rice and her son Christopher isn’t it? Truly chilling beginning 😳

This was an absolutely phenomenal video. As someone who has struggled and sent messages that might have seemed unhinged when I was at my worst - ultimately it was about seeking out connection. Needing someone to notice and listen to me. In the moment, she may not have felt thankful for your actions, but it probably (hopefully) led to her getting help that she clearly wasn't getting. You noticed yourself that she had been getting worse, clearly her situation was not improving. At least with a change, there is the opportunity for her that things would improve. I know if it was me, I would be thankful. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, compassionate and private moment with us.

Wow, I didn't know how unique this show was. I'm immediately giving it a watch!!

I really liked this video! The personal anecdote was perfect for the topic and shows a deeper perspective. I agree that this was a very complicated topic to create art about, but I’m also really glad he was so honest and raw about his story

I work in a similar job where we end up having to listen to a lot of mentally unwell people. Sometimes we can help, but often we can't. I'm grateful that I have time to lend to folks. I received a call from a woman who seemed kind but agitated by her own conspiracy theories. She had weaved herself a tapestry of evidence to confirm her thoughts, and had herself all mixed up into knots. Don't get me wrong, when people are rude or unpleasant I won't grant them much of my time, but it was clear to me that this particular woman was going through something. I listened to her talk for about 40mins. She was upset by something that didn't really affect her personally, by her own admission. She just related to some aspects of the situation to the point that it *became* a personal issue. I mostly ummhmm-ed and affirmed her throughout, but most of that three quarters of an hour was listening to her. She wasn't comfortable giving me her address and implied that previous people hadn't listened to her and had been mean to her (which, given the context, I took to mean that they had called for a welfare check), and at the end she thanked me for being the only one, out of a litany of agencies, that actually listened to her. It's strange how moving these conversations can be, however nonsensical they are.

As woman with a stalker and a history of SA, Baby Reindeer broke me and I personally have no sympathy for Fiona, she dug her own grave with her actions and I agree with the people that part of why people sympathize with her does has to do with her being a woman. I bet all of you would judge my stalker more harshly even though he hasn't assaulted me or anyone close to me (yet) unlike Fiona is implied to have in the show. He's this scrawny man in at least his fifties that stalks me almost exclusively in summer months ever since I was 20 (I'm currently 26), often wears a ratty cap and has this pair of thick lensed glasses that enlarges his eyes a bit and makes his psychotic stare even more obvious. He's kept harassing me all because I was raised to be polite and greeted him once or twice when he drove by when I was doing grocery shopping. That's all it took for him to start mapping out my routes and following me, and sometimes he would wait until I was all alone at home as I still live with my mother and then he'd keep ringing the doorbell and trying to get in my home. Once or twice, he got so persistent that I was shaking with a kitchen knife in my hand, afraid he'd actually break in. I fear him crawling out of the woordworks now summer has arrived once more. I don't care how mentally ill he is, I am autistic and have C-PTSD myself but I would NEVER harass someone to the point they would be scared of their life. Richard is a brave man and asking him to protect the person who stalked and assaulted him is literally disgusting to me. Victims aren't obliged to do that, once you assault someone you lose that right. If anything, the men around the world are now warned about Fiona, and it could save a future victim considering she is still unhinged.

I think what Richard Gadd did was therapeutic writing at its essence and Netflix failed in their duty of care to everyone involved. It was Richard’s intention that people not be identified - so it is then on the company to make sure that is the case. Yes, he could have made some better choices in the script by changing elements that wouldn’t hurt the story (the job she says she has, the hanging curtains joke etc) even him playing himself is ethically really dodgy territory! (It does make it so powerful though) I’ve not been able to stop thinking about the show at all - I thought it was wonderfully written and explored, but all the bother that’s come after it has made me so sad. We have a culture of name and shame, and whilst Netflix and Richard may not have anticipated its success, there really could have been things put in place to help prevent this. I do not think this woman should have a platform at all. The fact it was a Piers Morgan show she went on just shows that it’s not the right situations she is putting herself in and she is being indulged by the wrong people - people messaging her, the talk show, etc. it makes me hurt for all the people who have had similar experiences to Richard and to know that in a lot of these cases, the people who intend you harm (in whatever way it’s displayed) can thrive right beside you and you can’t escape it. That was a bit of a soapbox rant, I do apologise.

I just got done watching Kennie JD's video on it, and look what pops up. 😆

Much respect for talking about something so real and so under-discussed

I think as humans, we are craving to feel something "real" more than ever and Baby Reindeer is the first true crime series that allow me that introspective look of the people behind the mess without glamorizing either sides. There should not be anything wrong about wanting to relate, but once we crossed the line of being entertained to "feeling entitled" to all the facts and the juices, it just devalue the whole experience for me. Media literacy shouldn't mean we could gather all the details to critcize the content and make theories anyway we want about the facts. It should be more about reflecting on the experience based on the content itself and how it make you feel: the good, the bad, and the why.

I loved Baby Reindeer. But I didn't enjoy it very much. I had an out-of-body experience with it. Episode 4's montage of Donny using his sexuality in a self-destructive way after being SA'd looked so much like what I had done to myself in my mid-twenties. And the words. The monologue where he says how he did it to try and feel like he could go back to that moment and gain a sense of agency. To try and get control over it. I've already talked about that situation in therapy, and it was almost word for word, what my therapist explained some SA victims do. So yes, I loved Baby Reindeer because it allowed me to see from the outside how sad it was living through that and appreciate how far I've come in overcoming it. I've (and all of us who've been able to survive similar situations) done a good job. Richard's work helped me see that.

I think its different a bit? Maybe because im vindictive, but if she did half that shit she did in the show.... well, her getting clowned on the internet would be the least of her problem. Great vid, lovely insight from youm

We might consider the ethics of media outlets that give this woman a platform. It feels very cynical to put a likely unwell woman on a major talk show who's implicitly being accused of serious crimes and self-identifying as the subject of this show. People are saying they have no sympathy for someone who outed herself, well, hey, there's media outlets giving her that platform entirely complicit and responsible for making this a much more fucked situation for everyone. We are in the middle of witnessing a deeply complicated story unfold between two tortured people and an international audience; might be worth giving a fuck about how our thinking and commentary plays a part in how things shake out.

Yes, I think the people in this story have a right to privacy, but it is not Richard Gadd’s responsibility to ensure that privacy. He has the right to tell his story. It doesn’t help that she outed herself so thoroughly.

The fact that she's sacrificed her anonymity to become a celebrity feels like the exact sort of move I would expect from how the show depicted her. I can't stand the sight of Piers Moron, so I haven't watched the interview, but I can only imagine what it must feel like to see her becoming a recognisable face and milking it for her own benefit. It's about power. He got to tell his own story, but even keeping her name out of it, she couldn't let him have that power. Classic abuser stuff.

3:09, wow instant new subscriber here! I’m so touched by how much empathy and kindness you have for both the author’s family and towards the woman having a mental health crisis in this message 🩷

This was so unexpected and I really appreciated your takes in this video, Kayla. I say keep up the good work (you always produce good work, I mean re new video concepts etc.)

It’s probably telling of my age but my first thought of a vampire author and her author son was Anne Rice not Stephanie Meyer..

heard a lot about baby reindeer, this was the piece to finally decide to watch it. always love your videos kayla, you are a great storyteller and any style of video you post is sure to be solid

I am someone who is schizophrenic and has experienced stalking. I have not seen this show because it would be too triggering for me, but at some point, there has to be a recognition and accountability that despite a persons mental illness, they have to take some responsibility.

I love the share of your experience, Kayla. Many people can relate from a personal perspective hearing about someone like Elaina, or from characters in the Netflix series. I like the questions you pose for discussions. Basically, "What would you do or not do?" How did that choice affect everyone involved? What was the final end? It's not JUST the story itself. From a personal perspective, ANY type of stalker is scary FIRST! Sure, the person is ill, that's a given, and you can want to have all the empathy in the world for them. That said, if you've been their fascination on any level that empathy turns to fear that never leaves you and you learn to live in shadows to protect not only yourself, but those you love. You never fully trust anyone. Polly Anna is DEAD. The series sounds interesting, the emotions you suggested seem spot on. You did the right thing regarding Elaina. That took courage, and you did exactly what you were "supposed" to do. Well done Kayla ❤

This is your best video. Don't get me wrong, I like your other videos, but I would love to see more like this from you. Thank you for making this

I hope Chris Rice sent you a muffin basket

I think we all stand on the edge and watch the Rabbit Hole. It’s why we all consume trash on the tv or online to make sure we don’t fall in.

My biggest issue with the "real Martha" getting all this publicity is it basically has made Richard her target all over again. I actually missed the "based on a true story bit" because I was distracted when I hit play on Netflix and watched the whole thing as fiction. Finding out it was based on real events and that the lead actor was also the victim of a stalker like Martha made me appreciate the artistry of it. Everyone's now distracted by being true crime sleuths instead of enjoying the art for the art and the catharsis it hopefully allowed its author. And I find it rather disgusting.

Kudos to you Mama.... for spilling...

Sooooo where was all this concern about privacy and internet sleuthing when the Legion 52 Part TikTok story came out? I feel like a lot of this thumb twiddling is because the abuser is a woman in this case. People see her and don’t see a threat. They feel pity for her just as Gadd did in the beginning. But she is a threat, and she has done terrible things to Gadd and other people.

Wow, you summarized this brilliantly

love this 🫶 thank you for sharing

Speaking as someone currently studying to be a licensed psychometrician, I just want to let you know that what you did aligns with our code of ethics (I'm Philippines-based). The moment our client states an intention of harming another person, we have to violate their confidentiality and warn that person to protect them. The safety and protection of someone's life and wellbeing is a right considered more important the privacy of an individual.

So insightful, kind, and well put x

She was obsessed with him. He was figuring out why. I loved the honest and unique show.

Kayla this might be your best video to date, it was absolutely fantastic

This was such a great video. I really liked this format!

Loved this format

This was really good mate! Loved the personal story and connection to then subject matter

Great video! I’ve been enjoying everything you put out!

I like changing things up from time to time - wouldn’t mind seeing more :)

This is lowkey my favorite video you’ve ever done, i just wish it was longer

Great video! Very insightful

Been waiting for this vid. Love this channel 😍

This was an incredible video Kayla

I really liked BR. But it left me with questions and ideas that went unanswered. I don’t even know what those questions were? I guess just unease. I think due to how open Richard is with his thoughts and feelings regarding the show just made me rethink some of my private thoughts. I don’t understand how someone can be so open about their mistakes. How that’s contributed to their mental health. It’s a melancholy feeling. On one hand someone is is being the worst person you know and you’re disgusted. On the other, you understand and empathise completely with how he feels. Seeing him go further and emphasise with Martha/Fiona is just unsettling, but feels so real

Such a well written video, Kayla! I have been following you since your first Drag Race rant and it’s so good to see how you have honed your craft and love this trajectory! The video was great and I really hope that you continue to making more like these ❤

I think we would all happily tell the truth about everything but there are just people especially online who are your moral enemy for no reason you can understand. The internet is full of bots and haters and just very mentally unwell people. I think this is one of you best so far while being very different from you normal content. The end result doesn’t really matter when it’s more about the thrill of getting there especially the internet. It’s fun of speculation, joining in with an online community and connecting the dots especially with a tv show- no one actually cares what the ending is

Absolutely fantastic video. This was a really empathetic, nuanced take on this show and the situation in general.

Are the authors Anne and Christopher Rice?

I know this is a departure from your normal content, but I really enjoy it! Good job blending your personal experience within, and examining theoretical questions around, art, identity, and privacy.

This was a fantastic video please make more in this style

I love your content, I always leave with a different perspective than I had before…and this was one of those times..I just binge-watched this series on Netflix and you said everything I was thinking while watching it, I just didn’t know how to articulate it my thoughts, It was such a thrilling, entertaining yet somber story to watch unfold, especially when I found out it was actually based on real life events.

Really enjoyed this video Kayla. It was great

You are a great content creator! Loved this video

Ugh Kayla once again great work. Please look up crackhead Barney 😭😭

This was a great video! Please include more anecdotal/narrative content, Kayla!

amazing video!!

Discovered your channel recently, this video was great!

I can’t stand it when artists are held accountable for the actions of audiences members. Not that I’m defending the show, as I’m not the biggest fan, but Rick and Morty creator Dan Harmon being asked to answer for the stupid “szechuan sauce” incident is simply unfair. It’s not his fault that people are morons.

This was a really great video!!!

I think Richard Gad took the necessary measures to protect her identity, and I have no sympathy for her because she outed herself. It’s her own fault, not Richard’s.

Cool video! Loved the story you told.

Congrats on 100 K subscribers! 🎉

Congrats on 100K!

The strongest moment in the series is when Richard finally outs himself on stage. Incredible, incredible scene, but cathartic for a multitude of reasons.

Kayla thanks for yours videos. It help me so much in my listening. I'm from Spain and I love your channel, yours opinions are so interesting. Only I need to say it 💜

Magnificent video, my dear. Bravo 👏

I love your videos! You remind me so much of the Daily Show from my university days. You’re poignant, intelligent, fair and have your finger on the pulse of internet culture. I really appreciate your content. Thank you!

I appreciate you not naming the writer and her son, considering wasn’t it a year ago now or so she passed?

I also worked overnight as a tv news producer! I just quit that job and lol, those phone calls are something else

I love this video. Thank you for sharing your story. I used to work with people with mental illness, addiction & developmental disorders, and they would definitely act in ways that people around them struggled with supporting, including myself. Truth be told, when someone is a danger to themselves or others, even those closest to the person are left at a loss for what the best solution is. And that’s why unfortunately we have no choice but to try to trust the systems in place to protect others and the person - regardless of how shitty, broken & fucked up they are. There is just simply no other choice. So I guess I’m saying this because 1. I’m proud of you for making the call you did & 2. I think the making of baby reindeer was completely within the right of the victim - especially because the perpetrators identity was hidden before they themselves revealed it. I just wonder if gender roles had been reversed if the world would see it differently.

Baby reindeer helped me too. From my own perspective and that of my stalkers too.

Really great video 👍

Dude loved the intro!!

Loved this video Kayla. I find your personal experience so fascinating, and it's important to defend the art of storytelling. I think it must be terrifying to create something nowadays with the threat of it being completely pulled apart online..

great video!!

I was liking the show until the SA then it opened up a couple wounds. Still 5/5 show

I have zero sympathy for this woman. Plenty of people had bad childhoods. Plenty of people have low self esteem and mental issues. They’re not all out there stalking, and going on television shows lying. I can appreciate the attempt to layer her character but at the end of the day, to me and many others, she’s a perpetrator of assault and psychological violence at bare minimum. Netflix verified the emails and voicemails - they wouldn’t risk losing a lawsuit unless the story was mostly legit. Not even knowing if this show would be the hit it has become. Just my free 2 cents.

Great video!

HOL’ UP! How is it that a couple days ago on the plane, I saw the guy sitting next to me watching this show, and now I’m coming across this video on that show??! WHAT IS HAPPENING??!!!?