Are you afraid to share your family situation and estrangement with friends? 

Hello Karl, Thank you for taking extra time for folks like us, who have severe family problems. It’s tough opening up to most people because family trauma is heavy….and who wants to hear about it? Ya know?

Hi Karl, always nice to see a video from you here. Thank you for making the time! I've had mixed reactions from friends when talking to them about family estrangement. Some are into the whole "family is family, no matter what" thing, and others push forgiveness because it's part of a culture of toxic positivity. Some totally get it, usually because they come from dysfunctional families themselves. I have found the reaction a good litmus test for whether I can be friends with someone or not. Like you said, I don't give too much of an explanation. But usually telling people that my sister is still friends with my abusive ex and that that's the root of multiple problems is enough to get them to understand.

Thank you for this. "The Sacredness of Family" can be a very inhibiting factor, in decisions about disclosure. It is helpful to let others who are involved with the people in the estrangement dynamic know that there is an estrangement. This can prevent awkward situations and further hurt.

Yeh, my story has got shorter over the years. It used to like a big explanation of everything they did that hurt me, now i say something like it's a clash of narratives. And if people ask me to elaborate, i say, i felt like i had the right to be heard, and they feel disrespected that i had the expectation id be heard. Most people get it. I struggled the most in the run up to 3 years. Now it's been 4 years i think about it all less. It was so all-encompassing to begin with.

All my friends know 🙈 I don't mention it at work though.

I open up gently but most people side with the abusers... That's a fact! Ouch I don't subject myself to that. I try to protect my children even though they are adults... I'm a private person, not secretive but self contained...

That's not always good because they can't handle their own situations.