The part when you said "if you are looking online information to yourself about tranagender you probably are one bc cis gender people dont" i just laughed like "dang it,you got me"
It was hard to hear the part about trying to seem more female to convince myself to be comfortable as female. I frequently go on ebay etc and buy really cute accessories and clothes just to try so hard to be more "girly". I try so so so much. I look at cute girls on tumblr and think "If I looked like that maybe I'd be comfortable with myself" then I look at guys and think "That's how I want to look, that's who I want to be" and such. It's difficult to find out I'm possibly trans.
Exactly how i feel. I say maybe if i looked pretty maybe then i wouldn't have thought to be transgender but then i lost so much weight and wore tight jeans and cute shirts then i cried cause i could Not walk in how i looked and i didn't care about how people saw me female but myself i felt like im in a box that labels me female.
I'm thinking "If I get skinny and I'll be able to pull out a cute style I'd like being a girl" but I tried exercising and I almost broke down at the gym because of anxiety. So I quit that. I don't think I'd look much better as a guy, maybe not even good, but I feel like that's who I'm supposed to be...
Shinpew I think that I did exactly the same thing until just days ago when I forced myself to seriously consider the possibility that I might be trans. It's been a recurring theme in my life up to this point, but there was always a reason why I was wrong about it and there was just something else going on. I have suffered so much from comparing myself to women, to the extent that I even developed an eating disorder. I thought that I would be happy if I could just have the perfect female body...but now I think that that was just a really complicated cover-up for how I am really feeling, and how I have always felt. This was way longer and more revealing than I intended, but...yeah. I think I know exactly how you feel. I've probably been overcompensating, too.
When she made a list of some things that may be relatable to FtM people (1:50 - 2:40) I started crying because I related to them so much, especially about the one with the video game avatars...
I always make really hot female characters tho... Oddly enough i dont like females but when I make characters they are pretty females with little to no clothing. I was worried maybe i wasnt trans bc of that but I realised they look nothing like me (im mixed black+white, they are white with blonde hair blue eyes etc) and i don't want to look like them so now i feel better bout it :)
Yeah...Idk how, but after watching these two vids I'm completely convinced I'm trans, just have to go to and wait to see a gender therapist to see what they say, i did when I was little I cried and prayed one night to be a boy and wondered why god made a mistake and made me a girl? It was only one time, but I remember it so well, I was probably 6 when I did it. That was 11 years ago, no one knew, my gram found out when I wrote a small journal/note about how I felt and how I wanted to see a gender therapist, she told me she'd support me and now almost everyone in my family knows, so they're all supporting me (the ones who know) and all I'm scared about is if the therapist says I'm not trans.
No one gets to tell you if you are or are not trans... no doctor, no family member, no one. This is something that only you can know. If you believe yourself to be transgender, or know it, and you go to a therapist and they make you "prove" who you are to them, then they are either biased against transgender people, uninformed about how to approach helping someone transition, or both.
No one can tell you who you are, only you can know. A lot of therapists make you "prove" who you are, which is wrong. Also, you grow into how you feel with your gender sometimes. When you spend so many years hiding this part of yourself, or being told that it is wrong, or isn't real, that you are the gender you were assigned at birth, then it can be hard for some people to go from concealing and hiding these qualities, to flipping a switch and showing all of them to a professional. It may take time to not censor yourself. Not all professionals understand this. Maybe you could say that. A lot of what I do involves encouraging people to not hide themselves, to be authentic, and to basically set themselves free.
I doubt they would say that. But it would be dumb if the the gender therapist said that u are not. And that's one therapist, if it doesn't feel right when they say ur not, try see another one and see what they say and how u feel about their answer. This is just how I feel. Idk if that is the right answer, but I feel right about this advice...u don't have to agree...it's ur life.
The being envious of guys appearances is so true for me. I've realised I've only ever dated guys that I wanted to be like either in appearance or personality. It was almost like I was trying to live through them by dating them but it also wasn't a very good relationship either then and I realised that. I stepped back from dating because I knew I needed to figure out who I am before I can start looking at being in a relationship with another person. I've been looking up information on being trans and trying to figure out if I am trans. It's amazing how much my response has fluctuated since starting this journey. There are some days I'm so confident in the idea of being trans, and then another time, I'm scared that I don't know what I'm talking about and that I shouldn't tell anyone. I'm currently going through a confidence phase and I'm hoping to use that to my advantage to start talking to some of my friends about the issues I've been facing. I think it's time I told some of them. I definitely still live a life of a guy through the characters in video games as well as online.
@@mscoot629 Oh man I completely forgot all about this comment. I'm doing great. I have transitioned and am living happily as male. Only regret is taking so long to figure things out, but hey I got here and it's going well. I just forgive myself for taking so long because I had a rough background with transphobic parents so it's understandable it would take some time to work through that and accept myself. However, I do have the luxury that I have mainly lived in trans affirming places as an independent adult so I have not had to face too much adversity. I hope you can explore for yourself to figure out who you are and can find more peace like I have no matter what your gender expression may be.
I feel really similar. I don't feel female but I'm not really male. I would like to go on testosterone but I'm not very sure. I'm not happy with my body that much either
That's how I feel. I never necessarily felt very strong dysphoria, but I don't feel comfortable being female. But I don't think hormones would fix anything
hmm i never thought i was a boy when i was little because i had crushes on boys, i liked dolls, pink&purple, dancing, and pretty things like dresses, but then whenever someone called me a pretty GIRL i felt weird about it. I wanted to be a pretty BOY. when kids would chant "girls rule boys drool!" and "no BOYS rule GIRLS drool" i always wanted to join on the boys side because i felt like i was meant to be one and i wanted them to accept me. and then i grew out of the little prince(ess) phase and wanted to fit in with the other boys. i started wearing my hair in a low ponytail and refusing to wear pink. i only wanted to wear black and grey and green. by the time i was 11 i had decided on a new name and knew that i was a boy. i cut my hair short and tried to be hypermasculine despite the fact that i am honestly a very feminine gay male. with some counselling though i realized theres no wrong way to be trans. so for anyone like me: you can be feminine and still be a guy!!! its okay!!!!! if you have dysphoria and you know who you are, you do you. dont let anyone tell you who you are.
You probably are not going to read this, but I'm going to write this as a relief for myself. I feel so related to almost everything you said, I even cried and I am crying while writing this because it's painful, it's painful because I don't really know who I am, I feel so comfortable being a man, but that feminine part of me makes it hard to realize who I really am. Being trans is a difficult thing to know, but it's even harder when you are not comfortable being the stereotypical cis man, am i really a men?? Is it just that I am confused? Am i a masculine girl or a feminine boy?? Maybe this sound ridiculous to the people who read, but it is really hard for me to figure this out....
@@aramsito801 story of my life. I'm currently 28 living in Africa and I've always felt that something is wrong with me being female but then I later feel confused and try to fit in but the more I do the more I feel that I really hate my body and I'm always envious of males. I'm actually depressed and confused. Am I mentally sick or something? It's so hard to do this in Africa. 😭
@@maine3666 I feel exactly the same, I really hope that you can find who you really are. If you need a friend to talk with I'm here for you. I really hate that confusing feelings and I know how hard it is to actually talk about that, so, if you need a shoulder to lean on I'm here for you. I wish you the best and hope everything goes well for you
There was certainly some helpful stuff in this video but you can't say that transgender people "after some exploration owe it to themselves to try hormones for a few months". As you yourself said earlier, not all trans* people are FTM and even if a person identifies as male, that doesn't mean that hormones are right for them and I think we absolutely need to support trans people that don't feel the need to transition medically. There is enough pressure already to take every medical step possible coming from society and bad representation of trans*people in the media and I feel like you as a gender therapist and a professional's voice here on RU-vid should make sure to have that always in the back of your mind and try not to contribute to this. The way you formulated it, it comes across like trans* people have to prove to themselves that hormones are not right for them. And I personally think it's dangerous to recommand so strongly to just try testosterone for a month or two. Besides the whole financial side of this and the huge effort and time people have to put into this in some countries, it can effect people's mental health really badly, especially in the beginning when your body is still producing your natural sex hormones and you haven't figured out your ideal dosage yet. I personally would feel completely overwhelmed with all of these mental and physical changes on top of still trying to figure out how I feel about my gender and not being sure that I even want the body T will give me. Plus some changes that T will probably give you within the first one or two months are permanent like downstairs growth and a slightly deeper voice. In short, I think it's reckless to suggest to faab trans*people to just try HRT. Yes, for some people that might be an option and turns out to work really well for them after lots of exploration, but a recommandation like this should not come up in a "am I transgender?"-video, where you will mainly be talking to people for whom transition has only very recently become an idea even. The only thing we owe to ourselves is to be patient, take our time and then do what we wholeheartedly believe to be the best for us.
1. Growing up I have wished to be a boy sometimes 2. Not really 3. Still play video games XD And always in video games I have chosen males (But thats because they have always looked cooler) 4. I hate my long hair XD and I want short hair. But my parents wont let me (Kinda im 18 so I can, but getting my hair cut short feels a lot like going behind their back for some reason) 5. I do feel jealous sometimes when I look at men Still trying to convince myself i'm not transgender but considering I've watched literally 20+ videos on the subject. Found cool transgender youtubers such as Alex and Benton. And I have looked at binders. It kinda says the opposite I just don't know what to do
I like feminine clothing, slimmer figure (not muscular), I always pick female avatars, I have wished to wake up one day as a female, I am letting my hair grow longer (it feels better), and I am jealous of how females look. I've watched enough videos about this topic that has cleared my mind and now I am growing desperate to change
I'm honestly still confused about my gender, haha. I'm okay with being female for the most part, and I am very tomboyish but obviously that doesn't mean all that much, but sometimes I really want to be a boy or something sort of in between male and female. Sometimes I want people to see me as a boy or be so androgynous you can't tell my gender, sometimes I feel like I wouldn't mind having male genitals, and I often really hate my breasts, I feel like they're too big and sometimes I don't want them there at all.
You are me, fuck it, I'm so confused, I don't mind she/her pronouns, but I enjoy he/him pronouns too, when I was younger and I had this 10 year old voice that sound more like a goat, I made a skype and started playing online games and made friends and used to talk to them on voice calls, they thought I was male, and man, I was fucking comfortable with it, it even made me happier...
I AM GAY dude that reminds me that when I was younger I wanted to have a somewhat deep voice, not exactly like a boy's but like a lower girl voice or something. I used to want to be masculine in a lot of ways haha. I've been mistaken for a male online and it made me so happy xD
Karashoo Silverclaw I wasn't allowed to wear masculine and baggy clothes when I was younger, I was forced into dresses and pink stuff (I like pink, but its usually associated with females so it makes me angry, I would wear pink male clothes so...) I always wanted to have short hair, this sexist family forces me into some goddamn roles... I look foward to my birthday so I can ask to get my hair done :)
I AM GAY aww that sucks :c my family is very strict as well but my older sisters were kind of punk as teens so I guess that softened my parents a little, my mom knows I'm a bit of a tomboy though I don't really wear men's clothes. Tbh I like having long hair, though I really wish I had a short wig to wear occasionally. Good luck tho ;-; fortunately I'll probably move out this May c:
Thank you so much for your work. As a 28 year old, transmasculine person myself, I know how hard it can be to get to the point of finally realizing and being happy with who we are.. I am super-newly transitioning, and I have been binding for a couple weeks now.. also, it has been 4 whole days since I gave myself my first injection. I consider myself very privileged, and I am incredibly grateful that resources like this exist on the internet. Thanks again.
I'm not really that "uncomfortable" in my body. But every time I look at a male or just are with one om getting so jealous. Like really jealous. Jealous of the way they can act, their hair, muscles, body building, chest. Everything. I'm nearly 15 and when I look in my past I don't really remember much. But when I was around like 6 or 7 I would always go around saying I wanted to be a boy. Then some days later say I wanted to be a girl. Then boy. I came with all the pros and cons about being a boy. But then I realized that I was female so I didn't question it again. When I was on the toilet I would always freak out of I was a boy or a girl. But I didn't have a penis so I could be a boy, but I still freaked out because what if I were a boy without one? When I was 11 I questioned if I were lesbian, but I said to myself I was a freak for feeling like that towards girls so I stopped. I can't picture me as a women in the future. I can't picture me with guys. Only as a guy I can picture that. But I feel like I don't go under the "criteria" for being transgender.
This is my third time watching these videos. It has helped me so much. I'm hoping you can help me with a problem. My parents and I got into an argument a while ago about me being secretive and my grades dropping dramatically. They told me if there's something bothering me, that I need to tell them. The only thing bothering me is because I have found out I'm transgender. I want to tell them so I can stop the secrets between me and my parents, but I'm only 14. I'm scared they will think that it's just a phase in my life. What do you suggest I do? It's been over a year since I have found out who I truly am and I don't think I can wait much longer.
I'm thirteen and I'm going through the same thing, i feel extremely uncomfortable in my female body and wear baggy clothes to try and hide my chest. I recently convinced my mom to let me cut all my hair off, and it's now short. I told my mom a few days ago that i was not comfortable in my body, and that i felt that i was male. But she told me that it was just a phase, that i never showed the signs as a child and that going on testosterone was a flat no. My body has been the source of self harm and i think it's disgusting that I'm not accepted and supported by my parents. If you need to talk, I'm here
Lily Breakwell Wow, I wish I had the courage to tell my parents. You are really brave. I'm sorry your mothers response wasn't what you hoped it would be. Maybe give it time? Allow her to get used to the the fact you are transgender. Hopefully as time goes by she will realize it isn't a phase and you truly are transgender. Also, please do not self harm. I've done it before, when I didn't know I was transgender and I was confused about why I couldn't be like everyone else and such. I still have the scars and I regret it so much. People point them out and always ask if I'm depressed and it makes me so uncomfortable. Now when I feel like I just can't go on in life or I feel like self harming, I try to distract myself. I watch movies, draw or paint, anything to keep my mind off of self harming. When you feel like self harming, do whatever makes you happy to hopefully take your mind off of those thoughts.
Ryan, I completely understand what you're going through and although I know that it's hard to keep a secret as big as this, I would advise that you don't tell your parents. I say this because it can ruin things and sadly, the majority of the time, parents are likely to say that it's a phase and not accept you. I came out to my parents at 14 and swiftly was pushed back into the closet. Make sure that if you do tell them, it is safe and you have somewhere to go if it turns into an argument. Stay safe and take care!
Lily Breakwell can we all form a group and talk maybe well talk this out? im a trans too :/ and it sucks i wish i was a man i imagine myself as a 6'2 handsome man
I fit into all of these categories. I feel uncomfortable with my body parts. I always hang out with the guys. I hate dresses. I prefer short hair. What's the next step?
I would suggest that you talk to a gender therapist and begin started transitioning. Also, find a transgender group in your area. Meet people so that you can get connected to resources. These people will know how to change your name and gender based on local laws, and will know where the trans friendly doctors are. Also, come out to the people who are closest to you as transgender and male. Just get started. If you run into problems, email me: staff@thetransitionchannel.org.
I cried the whole time while watching both of the videos, this helped me so much, I also cut my hair and I was asking myself for so long: "am I transgender?" I always played with boys, I hated my long hair so I cut it, I always wanted to be the male character, I'm going to think about it for a little longer, and when I'm sure I will talk about it with my parents, thank you so much for making this, it helped alot❤😢🏳️🌈
This was beyond helpful, I haven't seen any video so informative and straight forward. I definitely feel more confident that I'm transgender after watching this! A++
This helped a lot. I'm still scared and confused. I'm now aware that I more than likely am trans. My parents are against lgbt community and I don't know how they will react. I scared and alone.
You only have to tell your parents when you are really ready. I've heard a lot of stories of people eventually coming to terms with their child's gender, while they weren't accepting previously. However there is always a chance they won't be accepting, sadly. Luckily you're not alone. There are so many people, friends, and other trans people who will accept and love you even if your parents don't. I know parents are really important and irreplacible, but you are NEVER alone. Never. I hope this helped a bit, I wish you the best
You can email me at amberhollins2000@icloud.com you can also direct message me on Instagram at lgbtpq_pride so me and you both can talk to each other and help each other.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep being yourself no matter what people tell you. You're not alone, remember. You always have the mostly supportive people on the Internet :D (I know how you feel, trust me)
I felt relief at the mention of trying hormones. Although I still would like to figure out if there's a way to hide those curves without wearing such baggy clothes. The info has really confirmed my thoughts of being Trans. Although I'm 13, this really helps.
When I was little, my grandfather made me an email account. The username was "catgirl0320" because I liked cats. I hated it. It didn't feel right to me, so I never used it. I'm not a girl. This is what I do that makes me think I'm trans: I hunch my shoulders and wear baggy clothes I wear my hair up everyday My mom won't let me cut my hair short, even though I want to I never feel comfortable changing in the girls locker room I don't shower in front of people I hate wearing bathing suits. I cry a lot because I never feel like myself When I was little, I said to my mom "I'm not myself" and she was so confused I don't like female pronouns I do boyish things a lot I'm really thankful for my wide shoulders, but I do have a large waist, and big breasts I wear caps a lot I try to dress like a boy, but my mom won't let me get boy clothes ugh I'm really thankful for my muscular arms too I cringe at the colour of my room, purple (my mom picked it out) Yeah, I hate being a girl so much.
I watched your last video, and I figured out that I have disphoria. When you said the bit about never being able to change my body, I felt this feeling of dread. Thank you so much for these videos, they're really helping me.
"Trying to convince yourself that you can be comfortable living as female if you just try hard enough" WOW, that is me. I try to do that so much, damn. True, it doesn't work. I can tell myself I'm a girl, but deep down, I can hear a voice (a male voice actually, the voice I wish I had" saying no. I'm a boy.
I've known that I wasn't straight for a while now. But I have no idea if I'm gay, bi, ace, pan, or demi. Today I had an awards ceremony at school, and I went to put on my dress when I stopped to think about how much fun it would be to wear a suit or vest of some sort. I ended up wearing the dress and feeling really uncomfortable. I always try to hide my breasts with my clothing, and my long hair is horrible. But I'm really scared of being trans. I don't know if my family would support me, or if I'm just a butch lesbian. But the idea of short hair and a deep voice make me happy.
I feel heard. Can you be my therapist? You’ll always validate me I’m sure you’ll help release my burden and I will cry tears of joy and yell/say “I feel free!!!”
I keep denying everything bc people tell me I’m too young to know who I am but than as soon as u listed those things I was like ‘wait I do that!’ And then u said ‘if ur searching transgender up than ur most likely transgender’ I got worried bc I don’t want to disappoint my dad and I’ve been taught it’s wrong but I don’t know and the most obvious thing I do is make my chest look flat I don’t know pls help me! Figure out who I am?!
I didn't have dysphoria my whole life but I got it when I started puberty and I have just constantly thought "these things are supposed to be here" and "my body shouldn't be like this" and the feeling gets worse. I identify as male
watched both of these videos just now, and i'm currently crying just because how perfectly the things you said fit me. i haven't cried in years. thank you for making these videos.
Hello. I have a question. Is it possible to make this decision at a young age? Say, early teenage years. There is no way I can ask to go to a therapist for my dysphoria, but I could make up an excuse for another reason. This was recommended by someone. However, I don't really feel the need to go to the therapist. Is it possible to do this without a therapist; ex. Choosing a new nickname, making the big decision, etc. Answers would be greatly appreciated.
I didn't have the feeling I wanted to be a boy when I was little, ok maybe sometimes but it wasn't constant. When someone like my aunts or something called me a pretty girl I felt good because it was a compliment and it made me happy, but now when I hear my birth pronouns or my birth name, or someone says something like you're a pretty girl I just cringe very hard at it and want to correct them
As a child I prayed every night to God to wake up as a guy. I maded wishes too for example when I blowed my candles on birthdays, I always pictured me as a guy and avoided to look at mirrors because when I did it was heartbreaking. When I was playing with my sister I always played the male character and I even "made her believe" that I was a guy and my mum mistaked me for a girl. I started to see a psychiatrist to start my transition a few monts ago, I had my T letter and an appointment with an endocrinologist but I had doubts about hormones and if I was FtM so I cancelled my endo appointment and stopped my gender therapy. During a month or two I was questionning my gender "Am I genderqueer, agender or just a butch lesbian?". But now I know that I am male, I came out to my class, they call me by my prefered pronouns and by my real name : Jacob. It's such a relief... But I still dunno if I should start HRT, I'm really scared about the negative effects of T but I am sure that I want to remove my breasts. If I hadn't cancelled this appointment I may be 3 months on T and my voice would deepen... I dunno I am so scared about the future... and when dysphoria is hard I just cut, that's all I do. I'm such a coward...
thank you for making this video. i'm incredibly grateful to live in a era where information like this is available with a single search. it clarified a lot of things and my self doubt
Without videos like this, I wouldn't have known that I was trans for a long time; I would have just thought that I was weird or not normal; I have been repressing my gender identity since I was seven, which is the last time in my childhood when I can remember actively trying to look like a guy. I probably would have gone years and years just thinking I was crazy if it weren't for the resources on the internet and representation in the media. Thank you so much for doing what you do, and happy pride month!
When you said ‘you are probably transgender’ I literally felt a sense of dread and whisper ‘no’. Then I cried. I don’t want to be transgender. I want to be a boy. I just wanna be a boy without dysphoria. Why does it have to be so damn painful?!
As I was watching these videos I was putting on four sports bras, crying, and then thinking. I'm insecure about my higher pitched voice, I'm jealous of the guys with the lower voices. I've been cutting my hair shorter and shorter, til where it is now. I'm happier and happier as I become my true self, kinda being more like a guy. I know I have dysphoria, and I have been looking into being trans for about six months. I'm now sure I am, and I'm extremely happy knowing that there are other people that are going through the same thing, but also feeling happy. I went through a phase of wearing dresses, jewelry, makeup and such. Now I've quit that and I'm so happy. I'm kinda rambling and stuff at this point. But these videos really helped me and I'm just glad. Also, is there anyone else that has ever felt like walking into the men's bathroom? Or women's, depending who you are. I actually feel more comfortable in the men's bathroom. And I pass off as a guy more now so that's fun. I'm random :/ But hey.
Hit me so hard when she listed all the things. Also, I don't have any idea how to even begin to talk to a therapist about such things, much less take hormonal pills due to the fact that no one in my country, and I am not lying, no one in my country is willing to talk about such topics due to how closed off we are as a country. And I'm still "underage" so I can't take hormonal pills without my parents' acknowledgement. But I can't tell my parents about this because I have raised it up as a prank before and they nearly kicked me out of the house..... I am so lost and stuck. Should I just wait it out until I can get a stable proper job?
I'm scared, mostly because I fully know I'm trains I just can bring myself to tell my love ones. Mainly because I live in a religious family, even though I know they would probably support me I am also trains and gay. Which means they might hate me.. ;-; help
Also what do I do, because I've been lashing out on my parents which I never do. I think it's connected with me dealing with the stress of being trans. Again help... ;-;
I did with them and they said they wouldn't believe me, and they said anyone who is like me goes to hell ;-;. But tysm for taking the time and thought to answer my comment :)
BitterlySwee aw I'm sorry :c I know how you feel though, my parents are the same way. I'm coming out to them after I move out though, that way they can't kick me out xD
One thing that I think is the major hint from my childhood that I'm trans is that since I acquired a sense of gender and what is considered masculine and what's considered feminine, I would avoid girly stuff even when I liked it because I didn't want to be seem as one of the girls
God damn, this lady is on POINT! I was ALWAYS playing the male roles as a kid, I was ALWAYS preferring to hang out with the boys, i NEVER liked my long hair. Ever since I was FOUR, I was choosing the male avatars on games. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a female one. It, quite literally, never felt right. I've been questioning my gender for a while, and I thought that I might be trans, but this video confirmed it. THANK YOU!!
I've long wondered about the dysphoria bit until I saw these videos and you were able to answer what I feel exactly. The only thing I haven't felt bad about was keeping my hair long but hey, I've seen guys with long hair so I never really felt that to be a problem.
These were the most useful videos on this topic I have seen yet. I have been in a constant state of utter confusion and back and forth of I really am trans. This just was perfect. I realised I definitely am and there is no other way I am not. I related to every single thing said in the video.
I found that last part helpful advice. I think the (I'm calling it this) 'try-before-you-buy' hormone therapy thing you sugggested. I feel like I'll have a better understanding of myself if I know how I'll be on hormones.
I remember being like 7 and telling my mom that I was "heterosexual" because I thought it meant someone who was a girl who acted like a boy, and vis versa.
I’ve always hated wearing dresses, heels and other girl type clothes which I would feel really uncomfortable in so I always try to wear loose shirts, jeans and men type clothes all the time without other people noticing too much. I wear men fashions which I’m always comfortable with. I would wear a belt even when wearing woman clothes. Even at home I wear loose clothes. But I hate loose trousers as they make my thighs look very fat. My wardrobe is filled with dresses and stuff but I barely wear those. So when my brothers clothes don’t fit him and he gives it to me, I’m very happy. My shoes I’m quite okay with as I have a few trainers but still some high heels my mum tells me to wear. Since I am Indian, there are many festivals I should attend wearing Indian clothes which are mostly long tight dresses. Going to parties in them, I would wear jeans under it, take a comfortable loose shirt and trainers to wear after the photos, a coat to wear while going and a shawl to cover my body. When my mum picks out Indian clothes, I tell her to pick Churidar instead which is trousers, a long shawl and a mid-thigh, medium sleeved shirt which is the closest I can get to an unrevealing clothe. I always take the shawl with me so I can cover myself. I hate tight shirts as they show off my breast too much which I hate. I don’t like going outside as my clothes are tight, so if I have the chance, I avoid going out except for school for which I got to chose the size of my clothes for and I made them loose. I wear a skirt to school because the trousers made my thighs big. When puberty hit and my breasts grew, I absolutely hated them and developed a habit of hunching my shoulders and pulling my shirt forwards so my breasts don’t stand out. My parents disapproved of me hunching so they bought this strappey thing that I should wear all day so that my appearance is normal again. I also have a habit of clenching my butt to make them seem smaller :) I don’t like crowded places because god knows what kind of people are out there but anyway, in crowded places, the thing is if I stand up then my body will press against others. So I would sit down. But instead of sitting with one leg on top of the other or my legs together, I would spread my legs and put my elbows on them normally like a man would do. I don’t do that all the time tho so if I can’t find an unoccupied seat on a bus/train I wouldn’t hold onto the top railing thingy but walk to the end of a crowd so I can breathe properly (I have claustrophobia) and my body isn’t pressed on anything/one. Thing is, in summer if ur wearing tight clothes, you would sweat but you can’t take your clothes off in front of people so if ur wearing loose shirts, you can pull the clothes away so your body can have some air. I’ve always prayed to wake up as a boy everyday. Last of all, I don’t know if I’m transgender or not. I want to be but i don’t know for sure. My mum and big brother are against LGBT+, claiming some shit from the Bible. (I asked my brother to tell me where it says and he looked at my mum who looked at me and told me to find it myself. My dad, sister, little brother and I support LGBT+.). So if I’m a trans masculine then I honestly have no idea how my family would react. \__(•__•)__/
I'm sent these videos to my boyfriend bc I just recently came out to him. I'm trying to make him understand better. He's been very accepting of me and said "If you thought this was going to change anything about us then you are mistaken" I cried after reading that. He's the best ever. Also the reason I came out to him was because I found out he was bisexual. So I thought it would be the perfect time. And he said to me "I knew tbh" and I said "OMG AND YOU DIDN'T ASK" I love him so much. Also one thing I want to bring up...When I was younger (this is before I knew what transgender was) I always prayed to be a boy and I always said "Why do I have to be the weird one? Why can't I just be normal" When she said all of those things it brought up memories from what happened to me when I was younger. It is crazy bc I never knew there was such thing until I turned 11. I knew I was transgender at 11, but I never came out to anyone about it. And I would put my hair forward to look like a boy. And go outside to my mom and ask "Hey, do I look like a boy to you?" And every time she asked "Do you want to be a boy" I kinda got shy and didn't tell her. Now she says that she never has seen the signs of me being trans. I know she has. She doesn't want to admit bc she is homophobic. (Not really but she acts like it sometimes) And she keeps telling me that I have to wait till 18 to get my gender reassignment surgery and start testosterone. I'm going to be 14 in May 2021. Ik I'm pretty young.
When i first came out my parents said "I didn't need to decide anything now" and stuff like that pretty much denying my gender. Since for most of my life I identified as female they were really confused (though when I look back there were signs such as wanting to use the boys bathroom, hating my long hair with a burning passion, choosing more masculine names when playing games, wanting to show the other boys that I was cool and could be strong or good at sports (I wasn't), and liking stereotypically masculine things like superheroes or video games). After I talked with them and my therapist, they believed me and now I go by a new name and pronouns. What I've found is that my social and physical dysphoria is so bad I can't even imagine that it's a phase. I feel like I'm someone else and this isn't my body, like I have a male body to go back to. I wasn't meant to have a female body. My therapist was almost surprised when I told her people thought it was a phase.
last year, i completely hyper feminised myself in an attempt to make myself feel like the way everyone says i should feel, and my anxiety has NEVER been worse. i was having continuous panic attacks, i was self harming, the way i was forcing my body to look make me feel physically sick, and i didnt understand WHY until earlier this month where i stopped entirely. cut my hair short again, threw away my makeup, gave my best friend all of the "feminine" clothes id bought and just started being the way i actually feel, and everything i was feeling almost completely disapeared. i dont know if im trans, theres so many things aside from this that point me to being that way, but its a scary fucking thought. i dont know how to handle it.
I watched both the first and the second video and I just want to say thank you for making this video! I've been having a hard time with trying to figure out why I didn't feel right and I believe it's because I'm trans now. Again, thank you for uploading this video. I feel a lot less confused now.
I am a parent of a beautiful child. who is searching for answers. that child is the same to me regardless of how they identify with gender. I love them with all my heart and always will, and I support their decisions. They are trying to help me understand how it feels to be in the body they were born in. I am so glad there are places like this channel! Both my child and myself have questions and it can be, and is, a very confusing and difficult thing to figure out. Thank you so much for these videos! Firstly for it being something that helped them and it being something they felt would explain their experiences and feelings to me better. I am SO grateful for this resource to help us and many others navigate a very important life journey!!
I AM GAY Awwwwwww! That's sweet! My child has been seeing a counselor that specializes in this area. It's been so helpful! I want this specialized counseling available to everyone who has questions or concerns about the gender they identify with! Too often parents try to cram their child into an identity that THEY feel is appropriate...all out of fear of being embarrassed by who their child feels they truly are. Who do these kids turn to in these cases? It must be scary, hurtful and isolating to have no one that understands. It breaks my heart.
Finally someone who relates! I am only slowly going out of my closet, and all I ever hear is that I can not transition or pass as a boy with my long mane. I wear boy clothes, I have neutral interests, like metal, I am blessed with a strong bone structure in my face, I like girls. Due to a hormone anormality I also produce testosterone and grow a light beard. And yet... I'm "not looking trans enough" bc of my hair. On the other side I am also scared of taking hormones because of my hair. All the other changes I either appreciate or don't care about. Body hair? Cool. Stronger beard, voice drop? Hell yes. But hair loss could actually make me stop hormone therapy :(
thank you so so so fucking much. this is so helpful it's currently 1 am and i'm crying cause this is so scary but i'm so happy as i'm getting closer and closer to knowing for sure what i am
3:08 I relate to this bit so much I'm literally sobbing. I thought I was the only one that tried my absolute hardest to portray as female only for it to not work at all. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one
Thanks for these videos! I hope I can get my family to watch them which may help them understand me better. Just started contacting gender therapists (hope to find one soon) and did a lot of coming out to my family this weekend. I'm not sure how things work here in South Africa, but we've a pretty progressive constitution, even if it doesn't always translate into practise.
I definitely feel like I am trans, but I'm so terrified to tell my parents, and friends, etc. I'm also scared that it could be "just a phase" and I might change my mind as living the rest of my life as male. Anyone have any advice?
These videos helped so much and I have much more confidence in my decision to transition. This opened a door for me. So did part one. When I was little like 1-6 I was super girly but then again that whole list of things is literally me. And that's what I did when I was little I always was hanging around boys and wishing I had a beard or mustache. Prayed I'd wake up and have a male body, and when I play video games I'm always a male character and played with girl toys like My little ponies when I was little... I cut there hair and made them boys. Until finally I got generally "male" toys and clothes and here I am today questioning my gender. I've come out and feel as if this is the right decision for me. Since I have related so much to both videos it has made my decision a lot more reasonable. (I even tried to pee standing when I was little) and I'm like autistic or just crazy or something whenever I can't hide my chest I flip out screech and twist around. Thanks so much for making this video again. And for the people reading this you probably relate to my story A LOT.
I never really had a problem with how I dressed. My parents always got me random clothes. Boy/Girl/Neutral. My criteria was that they just needed to have something cringey. Like a dinosaur riding a skateboard (most likely having a dinosaur pun written on it) or a cat with a unicorn horn, or something like that. Almost all the kids in my school was like that, so I never felt out of place, but when I got Jr high and our bodies began Changing, I began feeling a bit off. Like something was actually wrong. Once again, most kids wore neutral clothes, and it was the few that wore overly manly clothes or super girly clothes that looked a little out of place, so it was a little easier for me to feel comfortable in changing my appearance. I never thought it was trans until I wore a polo shirt and jeans to a dance and looked out of place compared to all the other girls wearing more traditional formal dresses or something close to that, and at graduation when I had to wear a dress, and I just felt very very uncomfortable. Then I began looking into this.
When i was younger, I always chosed boys to play with over girls, not because i wanted to call the attention or because I'm attracted to them, because I feel confortable around them, but that was when i was younger, now i only have a best friend and it's a girl, she is not a "girl", she is more masculine but I think she understands me. When I'm in my PE classes, we can choose to play football or other stuff, no girl chooses to play football, I'm the only one. I've had a boy best friend and he always did the same stuff. When I look at my past or pictures, I see that I've always been more confortable doing boy stuff, but my pictures I'm always wearing dresses, but I remember wearing jeans, and think: "This way i look more like a boy", I remember thinking that idk why, but I did, but now I'm seeing more of the world, two years ago i didn't even know that boys could kiss boys and girls kiss girls, but now I'm more aware of it, and my head is exploding with my mom saying: "It's just a phase". I try to explain to her but she tells me to stop. My boobs are BIG, really BIG, and I HATE it, i told my mom, and I'm going to do a surgery, while i think: "I hope i feel a little better with myself (at least I'll be able to use chest binding better)", she thinks: "At least she will be able to walk when she gets older", because it is bad for my back. I don't fit in the female gender, but I don't know if I'm totally a boy either, i liked winx once xD But thank you for this videos, they helped a lot, one day I'll look for a therapist!
I think my answer was yes to all of them in both parts (apart from the alcohol and drugs) ,I really think I'm ftm, thank you for helping me understand a little more
Thank you so much for this. I have already sussed out that I’m trans-masc non binary but I haven’t come out to my family yet and I think I will link these vids when I do since you made them so clear and simple to understand. Thank you!
Female to whatever made me laugh for some reason. I've picked some female avatars just to try it, but felt MORE excited to play as Link or something like that. Albeit, Link is very androgynous, he's also very strong. I wanted to be strong and flat-chested when I was young, like ten-ish? I keep going back and forth between feeling like "well maybe I'm still a female..." but then when I'm in the women's bathroom I always feel wrong. I know that I'm never going to truly fit in, because of how I feel about inserting myself into male spaces. I was nervous to work with guys at first, but I got better handling it. I think this is the video that I needed to see. I also think "fuck I don't want to be trans..." so yeah... I know I'm also dealing with mental issues having to do with sexual trauma, which I hope to work through. I was wondering if I should work through that while ALSO going to a gender therapist? I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for four years, and he seems like he wasn't going to marry me, and it would have been bad for me anyways because he didn't share my faith. I'm actually glad to get out, but it's hard just being myself again at times.
My parents think it's just a faze, but I know it's not. When I was younger I was always a tomboy, my two best friends were boys (until I moved and I became some shy person) then my friends seemed to be girls. But I always wished that I could just be friends with boys. So when I was 11 I started secondary school (high school) and I wanted to fit in, so I wore more girly clothes, put on like the tiniest bit of make up. But then after a coupe of months I was like that's it I hate this I wanna be myself. So I told my parents and step mum and they were all accepting. I had my hair cut short (it wasn't really short like most boys), and my bag I guess was for both genders, it was just a uk flag thing. Now I'm 13, in year 9 and my hair is shorter (just been allowed - just) my clothes are boys etc. But I just wish that I could be a boy. Everything on that list I have done exactly everything. My parents say don't tell your friends because at this time everyone would take the mick, I understand but I wish I could. I really want to be friends with boys, and I'm not sure if my friends really want to be my friend either because I'm like a boy. So I do have some friends that are boys and I feel really happy around them. Like really. But I hate this age people are, the age when if you hang around with someone the opposite gender, you're accused of going out. If I'm talking to boys, girls say "stop flirting". -_- So my parents think I'll fully know when I've gone through puberty and have no idea when, all the other girls did back when they were like 11... I do know though, I know I should have been a boy. I just don't know how to get them to understand. And I want to tell my friends that are boys, but I know it will just freak them out :/ In our school you have to wear a tie if you are a boy, for girls it's optional. At the beginning of year 8 I chose to wear one, it felt weird because it's all up near your neck like you're being strangled, but I like the fact that it kind of made me feel more like one of the boys. But some of the "popular" boys took the mick so I took it off. Now teachers that don't know me ask me where my tie is and I say I'm a girl, they say sorry. But I hate that people laugh when they ask that but worst of all, I have to admit that I'm a girl. I think of my self as a boy, call myself (in my mind) the name I want to be called, but then when I think about it and compare myself to real boys, I know I'll never be a real boy. If I tell my parents that I really do feel like a boy and know it, do you think that at 13 I can get hormone stopper thingies and then the testosterone stuff??
1) Almost every night I wish to wake up as a boy the next day. Also a few years ago in the shower I didn't look down for the whole shower, and I wished that if I would step out and look in the mirror my female body was changed into a male body. 2) I always did this. On lower school we had a Christmas musical and I played Joseph. On my last year on lower school we had a musical to say goodbye and I played a granddad. 3) I always picked the male/boy avatars. 4) I had long hair but I hated that. When I was 10 I cutted it off. It made me feel much better about myself. 5) I always wear boy clothes. Love them. 6) I'm always jealous of men. I always wish I didn't had a chest, and I always want to shave myself. That'll be awesome. 7) In my life I wore a dress like 2 times, and I cried both of them because I didn't liked them. I was 3 years old, and 5 years old. 8) I searched for ''am i transgender ftm?''. I found this, for myself. Oh God, I wish I had a boy body. I wish it so bad. I'm now sure I'm transgender. My chest is ugly, I always bind it. On holidays, I always go to the boys toilet (when its not a public one), that makes me feel better. On holidays I always play with the boys, and sometimes even say that I'm a boy. I always introduce myself as 'Sam', while I actually am born as 'Marjolein :('. Thanks a lot for this video, cause I'm sure now, I'm transgender.
thank you very much for those videos. you speech of it on such a clarity and calm that even if it's a very confusin thought, it doesn't seem an anormal thing. I know it's sad calling it 'anormal' but it is just so hard having no one to talk about it. maybe if someone here would like to talk, we could do it on telegram? even youtube. don't know. Just wish having someone who's passing through all those doubts like me to share. (sorry for my english, it's not that good)
I did show some signs before I started questioning my gender, and I don't like some parts about my body, but it's pretty mild. There is just so many things that make me feel doubt when questioning my gender. I would put "my questioning story" down, but it would be too long. I just feel like no one can help me since I'm too young for a therapist and too nervous to talk about my situation in front of anybody I know. I don't know what to do anymore... I just wish I could go back in time and never start questioning my gender!
It's now 5 years later but I'm so thankful that I discovered this channel today. I'm pretty sure have dysphoria but I'm so scared that it might just be a phase because I'm only 14... I'm scared that I might regret all of this and everyone laughs at me... I'm crying right now I just don't want this anymore it feels like a part of me will never be right no mather what I do
this helps so much!! thank you oh my god it makes sense to me now!! i was always so confused but once i imagined myself with muscles and a beard i'm certain now i cant thank you enough!!
Hello, your video was really helpful to me but I'm a little scared. I'm a bit scared because I feel like if I see a gender therapist they might think that I'm not valid because I didn't really find out when I was younger. I just feel really anxious because I don't know how I can 'prove' myself to them. I mean, I know who I am and trust how I feel but how will they know that? I'm just really anxious about things like this. Thanks
Alot of things you spoke about totally matches up to how i have been feeling and thinking...i remember when i was younger i liked to play male roles, had male figurenes...the question of would i be okay if i had to stay in this female body really hit home for me.your video was so helpful thank you
I’ve been questioning if I’m trans since I was about 11 or 12. I turn 16 in 3 months. The past month, I’ve been extremely uncomfortable with my body and how I’m perceived in society (she/her, roles of a female, etc). I have tried so many times to force myself to be female, mainly for the purpose of seeking to be the daughter my mother wanted and to make her proud of me in a way. I have tons of makeup and feminine clothes, but everytime I try to get into it, I break down. I go into a terrible depressive state where I cannot stand another minute. After long years of denial, I’ve just recently come to accept that I’m transgender. My parents are very unaccepting and not fit to be parents, so I’m living with another family once I become emancipated at 16. The family already agreed that as soon as I move in I can start going to gender therapy. I already know I’m transgender, but this is a start.
I've always tried to suppress it, and tried to fit the expectations. The first time I chose a male character, I thought I should be female to make it more believable. I eventually convinced myself enough I was a girl, because if I convinced myself enough, I could always be a part of something. I'm weird that way. But it isn't what I am. it never has been. I wish I'd shown more signs before.. This definitely helped though because I haven't always know. I've listened to what I convinced myself.
i'm still confused, i feel like i might not be trans. like i wanna look like a guy because i feel like I'd look more attractive that way. and well i don't necessarily HATE my boobs,, i just feel really self-conscious about them cause i feel like people would look at them so i want to hide them. but i think it feels nice to have people call me a guy,, like one time this toddler said i looked like a boy and i didn't think that was bad but when i was a child i hated that i didn't look like a girl. this whole "wanting to look like a guy" thing started after i started watching anime cause i liked how the anime guys looked and i envied them. and also i feel like i'm a bit of a tomboy,, like when i was younger i think that i tried to take away my tomboy side cause that made me seem like a boy. and i feel like I'd rather hang out with guys. so,, am i transgender then?
