Right. Just look at all of these "traditional" stay at home wives all over social media getting left by their husbands and ending up at the welfare office.
Wrong. There are married single mothers because they decided to settle down with a non-family-oriented man. That's part of our problem as women. We’ll take a trash man and try to turn him into a husband. A baby won't make him committ to you
Personally felt like her last 2 partners were only with her because of who she was & it sucks that guys REALLY be out here trying to DESTROY women’s lives
Yeah. Plus, she got out of a long term relationship where they were living together and was immediately living with and pregnant by a new guy in a matter of months. Women gotta learn how to be alone for a while. Heal and love yourself. You'll dodge so much bs
I watch Arnell but she has pick me tendencies. She let Juwan moved into her apartment without a job/career, he paid no bills, she cooked and cleaned for that man and gave him the wife experience. Then with the baby daddy she started cooking for him, being delusional and started saying they are buying a house together and having more children… Arnell had that baby planned because she wanted to have a baby before 30. A lot of women who fear their biological clock do this. She has money to freeze her eggs.
5:33 FACTS! Knew my ex husband since we were 8. Grew up in the church together. Got married at 18. Our first child at 20. And I’ve been a single mom since my child has been 5. And no, he wasn’t a “pookie or ray ray”. He’s was the “educated lame” they always say we don’t want. It just is what it is.
Exactly. I've literally always been afraid of the pookies and ray rays and never dated them like they say we all like. It's the men PERIOD. I was one of those who made a bad decision but for every one of us who makes a bad decision its more women like you who actually knew the men you were dealing with in depth and still ended up in the same boat. WE ALL CANNOT BE CHOOSING WRONG! They'll never admit they're the problem.
That is not fair to you or him. None of you were taught what marriage is about. There was No foundation set. You all got married cause you thought that is what you were suppose to do. NOW you know better and unfortunately he is now your ex. Everyone is not going to get it right the first time. You learned a lesson and you move on. Good luck. 😌
I’m sorry that happened, this is why I preach to younger women to go out get their education and live their life. The babies and husband will come and even then there is no guarantee that you will stay married and won’t end up a single mother. I pray that you and your child are blessed!
@@shaylamcgrady1048AND??? Women are also raised from BIRTH to look for a man or value a man, marriage and babies the most. Most girls aren’t taught what to watch for and most aren’t even told the TRUTH about men!!! There’s WAY MORE TO IT than just “we own our bodies” NOT IN THIS WORLD!!! Our rights are being taken AWAY AS WE SPEAK!!! MEN also take advantage and manipulate and gaslight and abuse and force and I’m sick of yall acting like women must be god while men get away with everything. When are yall gonna have ANY of this energy for men??? When??
@@shaylamcgrady1048AND??? Women are also raised from BIRTH to look for a man or value a man, marriage and babies the most. Most girls aren’t taught what to watch for and most aren’t even told the TRUTH about men!!! There’s WAY MORE TO IT than just “we own our bodies” NOT IN THIS WORLD!!! Our rights are being taken AWAY AS WE SPEAK!!! MEN also take advantage and manipulate and gaslight and abuse and force and I’m sick of yall acting like women must be god while men get away with everything. When are yall gonna have ANY of this energy for men??? When??
@@shaylamcgrady1048 and we as women know better, it is unfortunate that men do not. When I say men don’t give two effs whether a woman is left a single mother, they really don’t care, so it is up to women to choose wisely who tor have a child with
Drag the absent FATHER'S! It's so weird how women are taking care of these children themselves and being blamed for someone else's absence. Then, people bash women who don't want children at all. The way I don't allow society to play with me. Lol. I pray she's good.
@@imsoy2kexactly my point. Majority of women are single mothers, we’ve seen this movie before, but they continue having kids like what’s not clicking. At this point I think they are extremely slow, it doesn’t matter if the guy is a good guy or a bum, there’s a high chance you will be a single mother and if the dad is there he will barely do anything which is equivalent to being a single mother
Women need to understand that most men will only be present if he has a “good” relationship with his kids mom. The min the kids mom show absolutely no interest in him, that lust turns to hate and they will not be there for them kids because they need to see her suffer. That is why they hate child support. Child support intervenes on their get back.
Guys 🙏🏾. I just sucked it up, and I refuse to EVERRRR EVERRR give them the satisfaction of seeing me sweat. And that is when I TRULLY overstood “HATE” to the second power. My greatest power lies in no contact. Like Freddy, I turned my back and took my power back. Never needed them.
For her finding it strange that people have something to say about her getting knocked up after a month of dating is weird. Women must also take responsibility for themselves at some point. If you get yourself pregnant by a man who is "supposedly" manipulative, what does that say about you as a woman? Not being careful in choosing the father of your child is careless and reckless behavior. These influencer’s are weird af. Over sharing their lives, but crying when they’re not getting the response they want is delusional.
I’m not going to down her. I’ll just say as an influencer it must be taxing to have to share your personal life for a living . They’ll always be subjected to criticism unfortunately
Yes... thats the gift and the curse...which is why i have pulled myself back from wanting to be a content creator/influencer.. however, i know i do want to share my knowledge but not my personal life... i dont want to have obligated nor audience feel entitled...
@@lashaeknight270influencers can have private lives if they want to. Peakmill hid two whole pregnancies and we have never seen her husband or her kids.
I’ve been watching her and her sister for years and she is just someone who loves love. It’s sad that she was love bomb but those type of men target women who are very sweet , kind and caring like her.She wanted a baby so she got the blessing with the lesson ❤
This is why I can’t give a child to a man that don’t make a legal commitment. You can’t just walk away unscathed , you have to go to court to divorce me and I am putting you on child support. I’m happy that she shared her story women need to have an open discussion about these situation so we can stand on business when we create standards for dating and marry.
1,000% on the money for me. I’m not giving anyone a child without marriage. At least if he turns out to be a deadbeat I have legal recourse and society will see him as a horrible husband. Being a baby mama just sets you up for judgement. It’s just the truth.
This I never played that. NEVER. Having a kid was always a serious thing to me. I just never took any chances man. I seen baby mama’s growing up and how men cheated them and decided I never wanted to be in that predicament. Rather be married and take my chances that way. Doesn’t guarantee it. But my chances are much better.
10000000% agree with the third lady. The wrong conversation is being had. I'll never participate in bashing the parent that actually stays and looks after their child day to day
My husband passed years ago leaving me a single mom and people who don’t know my situation will assume a high body count or had a kid out side of marriage. Doesn’t bother me because I know the truth 🤷♀️
@@ChocoBeauty8but the fact that people are so quick to just instead of using their heads to think clearly and critically is the problem. People don’t know how to mind their business. People are also too quick to judge and shame women.
@@nailahdawkinsOh yes. I called widows single mothers but saying widowed mothers is better. It does not reduce the struggle of raising kids 'alone' but it reduces the stigma.
I respect single mothers because they step up and take responsibility for the child. Single fathers get so much help and respect for taking care of their kids.
No, single mothers….baby mamas specifically get dragged for not requiring marriage as a prerequisite for pregnancy. When you decide to have a baby out of wedlock you are signing up to get left. It’s 2024 the excuses yall continue as to why you keep having kids out of wedlock are old, dry and tired.
I didn’t know she had a baby and I’m honestly from the school of thought when you’re educated and financially independent you move in better circles and have access to much better partners who have a similar mindset…. I hate she felt the need to express she was love bombed , I’m sorry any young lady should understand men will play the role to get what they want ☝🏽that’s why you gotta stand fast in your principles because men will come out the box when it’s all said and done..And ladies are left holding the bag the baby the trauma and the blame… move wisely my beautiful sisters ❤
I agree with you. Its just unfortunate seeing BW get pregnant during the peak of their careers. Look at the decline of Halle Bailey and Naomi Osaka’s careers. There’s too much information out here to continue making these same mistakes. 😕
I just want to say that men being educated and in better circles does not shield you from chaos. My child’s father has a degree from a good college, grew up in a two parent household, has a great professional career, is in a black fraternity, volunteers in the community, etc. And yet, we are not together and people view me as a single mother. I won’t call myself a single mother because he is a very involved and active father; however, he was very uninterested in doing his part as a partner in our relationship once our child was born. I am someone who has exclusively only dated educated and successful men. But a lot of them are just Pookies in a suit and Ray Rays with a degree.
Yes but those men are better and you can pinpoint the problem. Unlike in this girl's situation. She got impregnated by a pookie who didn’t even marry her. Your baby daddy loves his child and as harsh as it might sound- it's you he does not want to be with. As long as he is taking care of his child. This Arnell's guy isn't interested in both her and that cute baby. Personally I don't get why these wealthy biracials have black men as partners or boyfriends. @@MrsTruthTeller
At 39, I had my son by myself. I had my own money, car, and house. I paid out of pocket for everything for the first three years and stayed home. It is hard, and I have a village. I am also divorced, and I have complete custody of my son. We always say women are free to do what they want, but we still get judged for doing what they want. Black women are too harsh on each other. All of us aren't living the same downtrodden life that you all think.
@@HolisticManifestingYou are so weird. You are in EVERY single reply section bashing women claiming they’re “worse than men”. No, they aren’t btw. Men genuinely hate women btw just in case you forgot. Also I’m sure those childfree women are much happier and less bitter than you. Why are YOU struggling? Because you chose to have kids with a man? Men can’t be trusted lol. Why are you here bragging if your life is so good? lol.
@@HolisticManifestingYou think that’s a flex? Being a bitter baby mama? Yeah it’s easy to say you live “better” than women with no kids when you have government assistance with your kids + tax time lol. I’m sure those childfree women are much less stressed because they don’t have kids from abandoned fathers hanging on them like you lol. Why are you so bitter? You’ve been in every reply section bashing women and claiming they’re worse than men. No they aren’t btw. Men genuinely hate & harm women in case you forgot. They don’t even see women as human. You being so male-identified is how you ended up divorced with 2 kids in the first place lol. You’re out here trying to talk down on single childfree women because you’re insecure about your own poor decisions: Trusting Men. Lol.
@@HolisticManifestingYou think that’s a flex? Being a bitter baby mama? Yeah it’s easy to say you live “better” than women with no kids when you have government assistance with your kids + tax time lol. I’m sure those childfree women are much less stressed because they don’t have kids from abandoned fathers hanging on them like you lol. Why are you so bitter? You’ve been in every reply section bashing women and claiming they’re worse than men. No they aren’t btw. Men genuinely hate & harm women in case you forgot. They don’t even see women as human. You being so male-identified is how you ended up divorced with 2 kids in the first place lol. You’re out here trying to talk down on single childfree women because you’re insecure about your own poor decisions: Trusting Men. Lol.
I had my son by myself as well when I was 27 every thing was on me which I knew going forward with my pregnancy. The thing is no one set out to be a single parent but some times the writing is on the wall where u can see your dealing isn't going to go well with a person. We tend to ignore it proceed and get pregnant and then shift Blame to the other person now we were victim of love bombing gas lighting and the likes smh . Accountability has to be made at some point and I think too many ppl arent doing that they rather look like the victim instead of being honest with themselves and admitting their part in things
After a month is wild. Her situation is wild and now to not want any criticism is wild. This is why I don’t do a lot of social media. People are on these apps to dissociate from there lives and to judge. People should be less cruel but their not. Maybe she should take a break from sharing so much because she had to know people were going to say she was stupid
"Misery needs company" is the relationship between some influencers and their followers. The pain and regret she's going through is punishment enough for her really bad choices. I don't need to add insult to injury.
GOD that its…..GOD….. I’m so happy he saved me before I made any serious mistakes. I’ve been working on my relationship with him to guide me to be more discerning
Men don't even know where I LIVE after a month. 😂 It may just be me, but that baby would not be here. I'm not judging her but yes, my goal was to avoid my mother's mistakes. And did.
Exactly. I knew my husband for 6 months before I got pregnant, and we moved in together and have been married for 9 years. And he's a black man, and he works hard for us, so I'm able to be a stay at home mom to our 3 kids. I'm grateful for him, and I hate how people talk about black men. Not all men are the same!!!
I haven't heard anyone talk about pregnancy prevention. There are so many options for birth control. Why aren't women using birth control to prevent pregnancy? We're in control of our own bodies and actions, right? A man is going to beg for sex regardless. We as women can firmly tell these men that we will NOT have sex unless he wears a condom or birth control is used.
Then they won't get sympathy points and be the victim.. they can use that victim card to exploit the "village into picking up the labor the father abandoned. The only victims are the ones who are sa'd.
So devils advocate (I have an iud) birth control without insurance is high. My iud would have been 800$ out of pocket if not for insurance. When I was young my parents believed in the calendar method and I was not allowed to get birth control. I became a single mom early. I got birth control after my baby because I had state provided insurance. So for some young women it's a high price for 8 to 10 years of no babies they may not be able to afford. We need better systems to allow access to good birth control.
@@jasm5213 i agree health care, insurance isn’t as common for ppl especially if you’re under your parents insurance or your own. I just got on birth control at my big age of 30 due to my cramps and heavy period being unbearable. I wasn’t even taught about BC growing up🤦🏽♀️
I totally get what the lady in the glasses was trying to say but it’s really not misogyny; it’s BIOLOGY. Women carry the baby, that’s just what it is, we all know this and we all know men can choose at any time to up and leave. With this knowledge, you HAVEEEEE to be super responsible for your own reproductive health. That’s the bottom line. ESPECIALLY if you’re a woman who is against abortion, you have to be even more careful because you have no options.
I don’t get why so many women are refusing to accept this. They just keep saying it’s all on men for being terrible. NO! It’s common knowledge that they’re like this so women must guard themselves selfishly. It’s the only way.
Thank you for saying this. I feel like a lot of women are in denial of this responsibility which is why I believe women should never have children unless THEY want them.
Nah, it is mysogyny. Women carry the baby but that in no way excuses the men that MAKE the babies. It also doesn’t mean it’s okay to shame and disrespect and blame women for everything under the sun. Idk why yall refuse to acknowledge mysogyny when it’s so ingrained in our daily lives and has been since the dawn of time lol. This is why we won’t change. Women can’t even recognize mysogyny but yall can quickly recognize racism…
People need to stop being so naive. If you get on the internet and admit you're pregnant by a man you've known for a month. Expect to be dragged or laughed at. I'm not necessarily saying its right but we already know the reaction will be that. It's a painfully idiotic decision
I got pregnant 4 months after meeting my partner. He stealth (removing the condom without my acknowledgement or consent) me and then left when I was 6 months pregnant. I'm currently a single mother and although it hasn't been easy, my son is the best thing that could have ever come into my life. I'm currently on my self love journey and working on healing my trauma along with talking to a therapist. I want to be the best version of me so I can be the best mother i can be.
This is y its so important to focus on Self when a relationship ends. Invest in yourself ladies, with self care, therapy, etc. You'll always win when you invest in yourself.
I loved your commentary at the end Destiny. I’m 34 and I agree, I still want to live my life and enjoy it. As Black women we were never taught to see ourselves and to prioritise ourselves. It’s only recently that woman are being taught to centre themselves, I’m still working in this. I wish everyone the best in their self love journey.
A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED TO REMEMBER THIS BEFORE THEY START JUDGING WOMEN! A lot of the people judging so harshly aren’t perfect either lol. People need to remember that we were ALL lied to about men and many of us are still waking up from the lies. Have grace! None of us are born knowing and discerning everything. The world works tirelessly to try and KEEP women and girls in the dark!!! People need to remember this!
A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED TO REMEMBER THIS BEFORE THEY START JUDGING WOMEN! A lot of the people judging so harshly aren’t perfect either lol. People need to remember that we were ALL lied to about men and many of us are still waking up from the lies. Have grace! None of us are born knowing and discerning everything. The world works tirelessly to try and KEEP women and girls in the dark!!! People need to remember this!
I don't know her or this drama but she sounds like a sweet lady. It just going to be hard for ppl in the public to avoid criticism. Either have a thick skin or you will end up like Cardi. There are so many women telling us the real true about marriage, motherhood etc..Its time we take 📝.
Sooooo. She was having issues before even sleeping with him, got pregnant, and still decided to keep the baby so that she's connected to him and that bloodline for life? Psssttt... smh
I noticed the internet blame single mothers for everything, especially if you stop your relationship and want to better yourself, they rather see you with a partner if you pretend to be happy than you being alone, I’m a single mother of twins girls and I never ask for this, I was submissive, I did everything I was supposed to do to make it feel love, I met my ex husband when I was 14 years old. I tried to make it work over and over again and when I get out of that situation, people blame me and stop calling me and supporting me, even liking my stuffs on social media now I live for me, EVERYTHING I do is for me and my kids🤷🏽♀️ who care leave that girl alone
To my sisters: I just want to say, there are way too many contraceptive options available and accessible. You can not play grown and call it a mistake or try to start the blame game. YOU must do your research, know everything that can happen during intercourse. You are the one carrying and will be the primary care of the baby. People say the discussion must be focused towards men that empregnant and leave the woman: I am sorry, for this scoop: the world will not adapt to you, your belief system nor your morals; Stop the kumbaya. YOU have to take the responsibility to protect yourself. As a matter of fact since there are so many baby mamas, one might point out that you are the one raising the man, how about that ? What do you teach them ? See?! Why do you want to blame the guy when YOU choose to be oblivious and go with the flow ? I have not seen many men sitting on the internet complaining about the number of baby mamas they have, If they feel like they(re winning, then what ? Raise YOUR bar. Most of these men will tell you the truth about how they feel, aren't ready for kids or don't want any, but we don't listen and think we can change them. So many people are teaching these men's games. Ladies, rule 1 don't think you're special, you are not. Listen carefully to these men. Get out of the future you envision in your own head for your own good. Nobody in their right mind can love you so hard in the beginning without knowing your flaws and all. Do your due diligence. When you start a business you take your time to make a plan and so on. Why be careless with your so important life? And "he-might-leave-you-even-after-10-years" excuse so after one month it can happen... this is not a reason to get loose when you barely know the partner. Check RC Blakes, Tony Gaskins, April Mason, Stephan Speaks, Rebecca Lynn Pope, so many relationship channels even Sheraseven will tell you not to sleep with the man that soon and teach endless ways to have the best probabilities to end up in a successful relationship. It's 2024 guys, too many informations to say you didn't know or you haven't seen any sign. More power to you and be safe out there.
Someone with balls to speak the truth as it is!! I’m tired of women making dumb decisions and telling us to criticize them. There’s too much information on how to navigate relationships than to keep getting played by these men over and over again.🤦🏾♀️We need to some accountability or it will never change!
@@cindychelsea784I’m so tired of women like yall screaming accountability at women who have ALREADY TAKEN ACCOUNTABILITY!!! Honestly yall just don’t listen to women at all and it shows. Yall aren’t speaking any truths. Yall are just repeating what every other moron says just so you can keep shaming women while none of you EVER say anything to the men that are the CAUSE. At this point NO woman should date any man at all EVER because NONE of them can be trusted… but then yall will complain about that and blame women for that too A lot of you people judging women so harshly aren’t perfect either lol. People need to remember that we were ALL lied to about men and many of us are still waking up from the lies. Have grace! None of us are born knowing and discerning everything. The world works tirelessly to try and KEEP women and girls in the dark!!! People need to remember this! Have grace! None of us are born knowing and discerning everything. The world works tirelessly to try and KEEP women and girls in the dark!!! People need to remember this!
@@cindychelsea784Women are human, they’re allowed to make mistakes. Most of them who make mistakes already take accountability for it and beat themselves up about it day in and day out… and the world helps them while men get away with it like always but yall REFUSE to talk about that LOL!
It’s 2024 NOW!!! Women are JUST now being told to center themselves and are JUST NOW sharing and gathering information like this with the rise of social media… women have existed way before 2024 you know that right? You know that women and girls have all been sold a lie about men and most aren’t being told what to watch for right? Yall do realize yall write all these paragraphs screaming and blaming women for everything but you don’t want women to play the blame game with the men who are also apart of the problem??? The men who are the CAUSE of this problem??? Be so fr.
She barely knew him? I feel like she really wanted a baby fr 😂 how could you willingly fall for this. She wanted a baby and didn’t care about nothing else
@@Khaliyah_Muhammad I was surprised when she said she was 29 (I didn’t realize she and her sister were so young back in their RU-vid makeup tutorial days). I was thinking she was in her early-mid 30s and she thought her biological clock was ticking because honestly, that’s very relatable.
@@cjwilliamsvi wow that’s crazy. They around my age, I’ll be 28 in September. I sometimes feel bad about not having kids yet because of the biological clock but I can’t be out here risking it
I think the man she had a child with is a narcissist. The dead give away was the love bombing, when he didn't know her well. Her intuition said he wasn't Mr. Right. I hope she can coparent okay with him and she has custody of her child and Child Support coming from him.
Yall like getting love bombed tho, like yall wont date a man unless he call you a princess, buys flowers and do that constantly yall do see the space yall give ppl to love bomb you?
People aren't judging her for being a single mother. They're judging her for recklessly having unprotected sex with a man she barely knew for a month! She wasn't protecting herself against unwanted pregnancy or STDs.
That’s what I’m saying. But I think BW are so damn comfortable being single moms and choosing to punish themselves all bc they got pregnant. Stop that shit and focus on your future. Stop letting these men trap you with anchor kids and ruining your life’s and motherhood experience forever.
What is judging her gonna do tho? She already made the mistake and she already admitted her failures and took responsibility for it lol… Most people judging her aren’t perfect themselves at all anyway…
How do they have ALL this judgemental energy for her and not the man? Look at this situation with Fresh and Fit. The manosphere has banded together to ridicule Daisy, the woman who is pregnant by Fresh. They are more focused on blaming her than holding the man accountable.
@@miyangtangwan7046 we have this energy for her bc we care about what happens to BW. We’ve learned a long time ago that you can’t shame or teach men respect for women. We’re sick of telling women that men don’t see y’all as people or humans and that you won’t be the exception to the effing rule. We don’t expect better from men. They eff animals and dead ppl due to lack of self control. Plus stopping at 1 kid is valid but many BW don’t learn the first time like they should.
A lot of women have BABY FEVER in their 20s. Instead of being LOGICAL with the decision to have an UNPLANNED pregnancy, many women make their decisions with EMOTIONS. Some women can and have made the right decision to postpone motherhood in spite of having BABY FEVER in their 20s. She is a perfect example of a woman who allowed BABY FEVER to cloud her decision-making ability.
Yes!!! Something shifts in the late 20’s where the baby fever hits HARD! Trust me she wanted to get pregnant and she was being reckless. It is what it is
girl seems like everybody a single mother shit. makes me scared to even have em. a long time ago, someone i was dating said something like, “….if we ever break up, or even down the road get married, or have children and break up…..” we were talking about something completely random but it kind of woke me up from my little fantasy happily ever after… at the time, I knew for sure we’d get married in a beautiful ceremony and birth a beautiful little baby and it was clear he felt the same! but it occurred to me that we were talking ten years in the future and he was already plotting his hypothetical escape 🤣. it was then i expanded my baby carrying requirements to: is fine with being a single father. and i need it im writing like a prenup.. call it a precarry. ill be GOT motherfuckin damned if i end up the default single parent,
I thought we was supposed to work things out and spread love. Having a lifelong partner is not a goal in life? why have children if you don't want the man you had them with around. we want our relationship to work but it's hard work.
It’s really frustrating how women get pregnant at the peak of their careers. She didn’t learn from Halle Bailey or Naomi Osaka? Smh always gotta learn the hard way. 😕
A-lot of times these guys be in their ear👂 and the women believe the hype and have the babies. Look at Halle and DDG she was taking him everywhere she went at the peak of her career and for what? Just because he wanted clout. A lot of these guys plot and stealth 🥷 on the women. It’s so dangerous now because men are trapping women with babies. Same thing with Naomi Osaka.
@@mbbo-qr8ytPreach. Babytrapping is their new hustle now. They get unlimited access to a woman for 18+ years. Plus he’ll weaponize the child to get what he wants out of her smh. 😕
Society makes women feel bad for having and not having kids we can not win. I focused on my education and work and people said I must not like men. I got married and my husband dies and people said I should have kept my legs closed. When I was a single mother.
Love her self reflection. We have to be SO selective on who we sit down and have kids with. Observe a man’s family dynamic. If a man is love bombing you…wait…a human can’t sustain that for long. Consider if a man may what something from you or may even be jealous of you based off your success or wealth. We gotta normalize not having sex with men unless we know for certain we want their children because the possibility is imminent.
I really like the twins and I’m disappointed in Arnell, but I’m also not her mother! I think my critique would be in how she raises her son, because we can complain about men all we like, but who is raising them? So many of us (men & women) have mommy issues, that we refuse to acknowledge. We will not get anywhere if we don’t acknowledge and heal from this. Also being a single mother, does not equate to being a saint, many single mothers are abusive and/ or neglectful towards their children!
We as women need to stop saying "why did that man create the child"? In these days and times, we know the mother is the primary care giver and men have the option to leave and no one will force them to be a father. So yes, if you don't want the baby for yourself as the mother then DO NOT have unprotected sex. Even married women are single mothers, imagine a girlfriend!
I mean he wasn’t bad looking either. But she has to deal with the repercussions at the end of the day. I knew my son dad 2.5 years before I got pregnant. I knew I’d be a single mom if I got pregnant and I did. I take care of mines and don’t recommend it unless you make that decision.
Having a child with a man when there is a very high risk he will not be a part of their lives puts them at an emotional deficit form the jump. A man can betray you even in a longer term relationship but why set things up like this from the start. This behaviour is nothing to celebrate.
People aren’t judging her, they are judging that lifestyle. It’s 2024 woman let’s stop making decisions that will affect us for the next 18 years! Do people not know there are various forms of contraception.
Women have to value self preservation over a clump of cells. It really comes down to that. And yes there are always extenuating circumstances, however her situation is silly... and public life=public scrutiny. Its sad, but the internet isnt a nice place. And yes i do agree MEN need more public scrutiny on being shxtty parents and partners in parenthood.
I'm sorry some of these women are in delulu land. Why would you risk your life for someone you've only known a month?! Make it make sense. Also, ma'am with the glasses, you are a baby mama, tf. Shame was somewhat effective back in the day, this is ridiculous.
I agree, it’s no shame, lack of accountability in having sex unprotected after a mom and the man leaving then complaining. I have no empathy sadly! The option for abortion was available. It was just irresponsible of her to love how she moved now she upset she being shamed. Now if she was in a situation where she was with this man for years in a relationship or even married and he dipped out i can have some empathy
I've said this before. It is very difficult to hold on to empathy for women who put themselves in situations like this. With all the choices and options we have to free ourselves from this labeling and she chooses this for herself. This is awful for her brand. Normalizing being a single mother is weird asf and the young lady in glasses sound weird too like the whole internet talk about trashy NAB (Nothing azz beeches) men but some how yall still find them and procreate with them. Then want to continue the conversation about them not wanting to be fathers? How sway? I'm sorry but 29 is way old enough to know better. We have example after example, forum after forum, YT video after YT video and this is still happening. Why is it so hard to wait, to take your time to date and weigh your options, and protect yourself. I'm not with the internet bullying but yea this is an L all the way.
Every black woman is NOT my sister. The majority of yall aren’t. Yall don’t take any type of criticism or critique. Anytime a black women says something that yall don’t like it’s “you’re a hater, you’re a pick me”. 👎🏾
But you're a horrible person, tho. If we're being honest here. I say that because I've seen another comment you made. You know, some of you pride yourselves about being "brutally honest" but you enjoy leaning more into the brutality. But I guess that's the Christian way,eh? Using God as a front to be fkng mean.
Yes give her grace, but hold her VERY accountable for the decision of seeing red flags, only knowing him for a month and still CHOOSING to bring the child into that situation. Like the lady said, the one that will hurt the most is the child.
Every woman that get pregnant has a choice to keep or stop the pregnancy, she decided to keep Her's because some woman do not know if they will have another child in their life time, let's try to support other woman in the choices they make, good, bad or in between, and because life is never planned most of the time it just happens, and that child is a blessing no matter who the father is. that is how a lot of got here on this planet. I believe young woman will listen is they are raised to have high self-esteem and give they understand their self-worth at a young age so mother and fathers going forward please do that for both boys and girls, so they make better choices.
Men by nature, don’t stick around after pregnancy and then move on to the next. Best choice is to stay single and childfree. Hopefully she has a community of women to help her raise her child. Good luck to her!
There’s a distinction between a woman that got married and then ended up being a single mother and a woman that’s known a man for a short period of time with no commitment. WE as women have to hold ourselves to higher standards to get better results. We have a role in why the bar is in hell. There is a place for single mothers to be supported but it doesn’t negate them from their carelessness.
I’m sorry nobody can trap you if you don’t wanna be trapped. If you don’t want to get pregnant you won’t get pregnant. Like she said we have to listen to ourselves. Discernment is necessary. Maybe she just wanted a child subconsciously 🤷🏾♀️ All she can do is move forward and live the life she has created, life is more than just a few mistakes.
Dealing with men is a risk I’m not willing to take. The probability of finding a good down to earth man with his head straight on his shoulders is so low, it’s really no point in even trying. Yes she needs to take responsibility for getting pregnant so soon but it takes two to make a baby. Everything is always on the woman. Men never catch flack for anything. Everyone is asking “why did she get pregnant after a month?” but what about him? Why did he get her pregnant after knowing her for only a month? Men should take some responsibility too.
I knew the baby daddy wasn't involved soon as she announced it 🥲 I had been following her for a while and she got pregnant right after her horrible relationship prior At her big age she moving like a child. I don't want her to fail and I'm not praying on her downfall if anything I'm overly optimistic because this boy gon be a problem if he not reigned in. Genetics can play a huge role in progeny outcome. 25 years from now when her son is on a podcast talking about how he hates single mothers or when he creates a broken home or 2 because he got his dusty daddy genes I don't want her being surprised. I'm not trying to beat her up and the baby is already here so our opinions truly don't matter however I will say this is not a good look.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 IDK why other black women are “haters” or unsupportive because we don’t condone this insanity. Way too much info out here and centuries of proof to know not to do this. I honestly believe that BW not only lack accountability but some do, to some sick extent, enjoy the victimhood.
@@Jae-by3hf the men we complain about. And granted it's not all on her. She's right we let men get away with trashy behavior but at that point you need to cut off all access and don't bless losers with children. His sorry sperm donor abandoned him so that'll be the root of his eventual issues however some poor girl will have to build him up when he's having breakdown about why his father left him.
My sister has done this twice. Has 2 kids ages 1 and 3 with 2 men who have live in girlfriends. Idk if she was tryna prove a point by keeping kids these men won't help her raise. Now she dumps them on my older sister to chase the life she had before her 1st pregnancy. Smh
Ladies! Let’s have a huddle! Please love on yourselves and take time for you after a breakup. It’s not wise to jump in another relationship even if it sounds good. Please please please, STOP sleeping with these men so quickly. No one is throwing the book at sis, but we not gon skip over the fact that she got pregnant after only knowing him for a month. And that “they can leave you years later” is a damn excuse. She knows that’s not the same. Ladies please love yourselves first!!
I don’t believe anyone is truly ready for the self-evolutions you experience after pregnancy. It made me more passionate about womanhood and building friendships. Before I was very introverted and lone wolfish. Now, I skateboard with girl friends, creating Surfskate clubs, growing in my Thai massage practice as a teacher, and my kids get to grow in this with me. It’s special Me and my spouse have changed a lot with each baby. I definitely didn’t expect to become closer through the struggle of parenthood since my mom is a single mom. Although I’m not a single, my man’s has a dangerous job as a lineman, so being a single mom is naturally in the back of my mind. That is a risk I gamble with daily for 5 years now. I tell my younger sister, only have as many children as you can take care of alone. For me, it’s one for each hand. Good for Arnell, sad, but she’s adapting and I respect that. ✋ I’m here for her ❤
I feel like the argument that "men change" when she knew the guy for 1 month is null and void. When taking accountability to talk about your situation not other hypothetical senarios you've heard. But also, single mothers can only take so much accountability, yes she messed up but she's not the only one in her situation. As much as she is a baby mamma he is also a baby daddy who had a child with someone they barely knew. My suggestion always, take him to court and get your dues. In general, I feel like women beat thesmselves up about having a baby by a deadbeat but there's only so much blame you can shoulder. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start rebuilding who you were, it will never be the same as before kids but it gets better...
Black women love being each other judge and jury. From hair, to dating, to the type of socks u wear, just all this judgement and policing,Criticism, and sitting in joy of another struggles. It needs to stop. That girl makes her money takes care of her baby, transparent on her mistakes and stands in accountability. I’m sorry but this ain’t it.
@@Khaliyah_Muhammadhow? When the woman in the video already took accountability while and by sharing her story… you people just throw around accountability without actually knowing what it is. 🙄 y’all never have any accountability to dish out to men tho… the ones who continue to cause the problem. 😂
I think she set herself up for this. Only knowing the man for a month. The internet is really not the place for empathy. Because people will always see that you could’ve made better decisions and let you know. As a single mom myself I look back and see all the better decisions I should have and could’ve made. I don’t place the blame on anyone else. But my story is not everyone else’s. Some women do it the right way married house before children and it still doesn’t work. Men switch up after pregnancy. I’ve seen it. That’s why women need to realize the power that we do have. We are the gatekeepers of life. Outside of it being taken by force , We choose who we want to get us pregnant. If a man doesn’t want the baby believe him and know you will be raising the child alone. Also just because someone is a good bf/husband doesn’t automatically mean they will make a good father. Some can’t handle the attention being shifted from them to the child and they resent you for it. It’s crazy.
I’m a month late cause I’m watching Arnelle and she mentioned people talking about her………the issue comes up generation after generation because no one is shaming these men. No one is shaming men for running around making babies and until that happens this is where we will be….
A lot of these female influencers date completely wrong. They act like the actual believe the men they meet don t know them beforehand and choose accordingly.
Yes hold these men accountable but also hold yourself accountable when you see the black community in the state that it’s in and you CHOOSE to still have a child with a man you barely know. Look how many decades we have been trying to hold the men in the community accountable, even the married ones and you still see this and CHOOSE to be a single mum. That’s why I’m a bit astonished by Arnells situation. It’s very different to women that have been in long term relationship then their partner switch up. She actively chose to be a single parent which is baffling.
When you live your life in the public eye and ask them to buy what you’re selling and love your content, you have to also accept and expect them to be honest with you about your F-ups too. She’s preaching to the choir. She’s human and it happens.
I think it's beyond them being honest though. People say really horrendous things about her. They even accused her of getting pregnant intentionally for the plot or to trap him. Then they said she just wanted a baby for the vlogs. People are insane.
@@WellBeing999 because no one can tell the future? 😂😂 no one knows for certain if someone is going to do them wrong and women usually give wayyyy more grace to their loved ones
@@sosweet310girl we got generations of examples.... that's like black folks being shocked at yt people's racism.... you may bot be able to tell the future but it's to many stats. Out her to be naive.
I thought the Man who was with her before was the love of her life! They lived together took pictures together, then it ended, but to GET PREGNANT AFTER A MONTH IS SO IMMATURE AND CARELESS! And he’s so unattractive inside and outside 😢😢😢
No matter where you stand on either side of the fence…this conversation leads back to the state of reproductive rights for women in this country at this particular moment in time..make sure the energy remains when it comes to who gets YOUR votes in YOUR area!
You’re a single mother if you are an unmarried, divorced, legally separated or widowed woman with a child (under 18). She didn’t become a single mom “10 days after she gave birth”. She was a single mother the minute that baby took their first breath. This is something that women need to understand. They keep on getting tricked by these fairy tale stories by their boyfriends and situationships because they think they “won’t end up like the other girls” because their boyfriend didn’t break up with them (yet). Stop letting these men convince you to have a child with them by being contradicting. They tell you they don’t want marriage because it is more of a commitment than having a child (that’s a lie) and try to convince you that you have to prove your love for him by bringing in a life but want you to believe he loves you by doing what’s a “lesser” commitment for you i.e getting you pregnant and not marriage? If he loves you then why not marry you? And if you’re one of those women that say “well I don’t want to get married anyways” then why are you complaining about being a single mother? You were always going to be one.
I wouldn’t down her. She’s already down. I do hope that folks can learn from her situation. There is someone in your personal life that needs to be talked to. So talk to them IN PERSON and don’t worry about someone you don’t even know.
Wow this sounds a lot like what I’ve experienced… all will be well girl! All is well🙏🏽 Don’t let people make you feel bad. What’s done is done . Move forward gracefully.
Two things can be true at the same time. Having a kid with someone you barely know is reckless. But putting all of the accountability and judgement on one person is not fair either. It takes two to have a baby. It’s just all about moving smarter and protecting yourself physically, spiritually and emotionally. I used to watch Arnell but haven’t been up to date regarding her situation. From what I got from it, she was already in a vulnerable state from a previous relationship and the father preyed on that vulnerability. That’s why it’s so important to heal before moving on to the next one. Also, this is the internet. Don’t think you’re exempt from public scrutiny while being a public figure. Pick and choose what you decide to share publicly and be prepared to face to any pushback from bored strangers.
Society is not built for mothers regardless of their relationship status, and that’s the real point to me here. I have watched Arnell for years, and I enjoy her content for pure entertainment. BUT I am not that invested where I would fix my mouth to come on the internet and JUDGE someone because what anyone does has nothing to do with me. People need to get right with themselves and stop feeding into the illusion. It’s never that deep.
It’s never cool to rejoice in someone’s downfall. I admire her honesty, a lot of ppl will be blessed by seeing her turn this around and triumph. It might be hard now, but she’s going to be just fine. Bless her Lord ✝️🙏🏽
Listen men don't “change” but she's right about the amount of time not mattering. Some women can't read a man, they can be with him for 50 years and still not see him for who he is. If you know someone down to their soul, you likely won't be duped like this. It is rare that a person's core beliefs change in adulthood.
Y’all go to God because He got the right one for you. It takes a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Hopefully she’s able to seek God and let Him guide her.
She’s so brave to share her life but I love that she takes accountability. God will bless her just watch and see. She will heal. Anyone going through this you will heal ❤️🩹
It’s something about the phrase “ I’m pregnant “ that flips a switch in these dudes. I ended up in this condition and dude changed immediately. I knew right then to terminate it and then him. No regrets!
Women who say anything unkind to single mothers are just sad about their own lives. A mentally stable person can not denigrate a woman who stepped up to the bravest responsibility on planet earth. I don't know u, but you are a hero.❤
When women willingly engage in chaotic decisions and trap themselves, we are not obligated to congratulate them and give them grace. “That ‘bravest responsibility’ is sometimes self inflicted and just them taking responsibility. That doesn’t require a standing ovation.🙄
For her finding it strange that people have something to say about her getting knocked up after a month of dating is weird. Women must also take responsibility for themselves at some point. If you get yourself pregnant by a man who is "supposedly" manipulative, what does that say about you as a woman? Not being careful in choosing the father of your child is careless and reckless behavior. These influencer’s are weird af. Over sharing their lives, but crying when they’re not getting the response they want is delusional.
@@Itsallaboutlove52 If she didn't want people in her business then she shouldn't have put the business on the internet. Duh. She's 29 not 12 so what did she expect. HELLO Internet is gonna internet.
I think the reason we are hard on ourselves(women) is bc MOST times we get left with the baby. Of course both parties should be held accountable but dogging on the man hasn’t worked, so atp women are banding together to warn each other not to make the same decisions. From a fellow Arnell, I wish Arnell the very best and applaud her for being so vulnerable to help other women 🤎
I don’t understand the “But why aren’t we holding the men who leave accountable” argument. Aren’t we? Don’t we bash deadbeat dads all the time? At the end of the day we can’t control men’s actions but we can be aware of them and move accordingly. No shade to Arnell Armon, I’m all for giving grace, but I just don’t understand that argument the last girl started with.
I feel like on the internet we do. But in the real world, many deadbeat dads don’t truly suffer any consequences or are shamed on the same degree as single mothers.
This is hard because it’s both peoples fault. I’m a child of a broken home and I blame both of my parents. As the women it’s your job to protect your womb. Meet his family. Introduce him to yours. Don’t ignore red flags. For the men. Stop having unprotected sex with women if you’re not ready to be a father. And or you don’t want to have children with this women. And we need to bring back shame. We need to equally shame men for leaving and being deadbeats. I’m sick of it. Money isn’t enough. Time and energy into your family is important. Stop being so evil and vindictive. Take accountability and be there for your kids.
@@graceamito9274she doesn’t get a cookie for taking care of the child she CHOSE to have. This “where’s the dad?” argument is tired. We’re talking about how we as women can and should do better for ourselves. Go hold men accountable on THEIR platforms.
