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Artist With Alzheimer's Disease Draws Himself as Condition Progresses 

Qxir
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William Utermohlen, an artist who suffered with Alzheimer's, has provided the world with perhaps its clearest visual representation of the effects of the disease - one that is both fascinating and chilling.
"William Utermohlen was born in south Philadelphia in 1933. He studied art at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts from 1951 to 1957 and on the G.I. bill at the Ruskin School of Art in Oxford in 1957-58. In 1962 he settled in London, where he met and married the art historian Patricia Redmond. In 1967 he received his first important London show at the Marlborough gallery. London life and London characters have most particularly marked his numerous portraits which constitute one of the richest aspects of his work. In the 1980s he painted two major murals for two great North-London institutions, the Liberal Jewish Synagogue at Saint John’s Wood and the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead.
Apart from portraits, still lives and drawings from the model Bill's art can be arranged in six clear thematic cycles: The "Mythological" paintings of 1962-63, the "Cantos" of 1965-1966 inspired by Dante's Inferno, the "Mummers" cycle of 1969-1970 depicting characters from South Philadelphia's New Year’s Day parade, the "War" series of 1972 alluding to the Vietnam war, the "Nudes" of 1973-74 and finally the "Conversation Pieces", the great decorative interiors with figures, of 1989-1991.
In 1995 Bill Utermohlen was diagnosed as suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Signs of his illness are retrospectively apparent in the work of the early 90s notably in the “Conversation Pieces”. These works, which can be seen as a celebration of Patricia and William’s life together, describe the warmth and happiness of their apartment and the joy they took in the companionship of friends. However, signs of the disease that is about to strike William are also apparent in the shifting perceptions of space, objects, and people. They are premonitions of a new world of silence and sensory deprivation about to close in on the artist. Clearly the artist’s most openly biographical pictures, this cycle centers on his wife, his friends, and his immediate environment: the objects, books, and paintings that have made his life meaningful and towards which he feels the greatest attachment.
In his last works, the self-portraits of 1995-2000 William's style changes dramatically. Terror, sadness, anger and resignation are expressed as the artist fights to preserve his artistic consciousness against the gradual progress of dementia.
In Blue Skies 1995, his last large painting, William paints his reaction to his diagnosis: a devastated figure holding on to a table as on to a raft in the blue bleakness of an empty studio. The artist was admitted to the national hospital for neurology and neurosurgery at Queen Square and supervised by a team led by Dr. Martin Rossor and nurse Ron Isaacs. While at the hospital, William was encouraged to continue drawing and to portray himself. These drawings became the subject of a notable article published in June 2001 in the British medical journal The Lancet.
Patricia Utermohlen comments on this time: “as each small self-portrait was completed, William showed it to his nurse, Ron Isaacs. Ron visited the studio, photographing every new work. Ron’s conviction that William’s efforts were helping to increase the understanding of the deeply psychological and traumatic aspects of the disease undoubtedly encouraged William to continue.”
The last self-portraits, painted between 1995 and 2001, are indeed unique artistic, medical, and psychological documents. They portray a man doomed yet fighting to preserve his identity and his place in the world in the face of an implacable disease encroaching on his mind and senses. With courage and perseverance, the artist adapts at each point his style and technique to the growing limitations of his perception and motor skills to produce images that communicate with clarity and economy from within his predicament. To the very end, color, brushwork, and line retain their artistic and expressive vocation, the result of a lifetime dedicated to visual and psychological observation and the faithful rendering of facts.
William Utermohlen made his last drawings in pencil from 2000 to 2002. He was taken care of by his wife, friends, and caregivers at home until his deterioration made his admission to the Princess Louise nursing home necessary in 2004. He died in Hammersmith hospital in London on March 21, 2007."
More:
www.williamutermohlen.org
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25 фев 2021

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Комментарии : 8 тыс.   
@Qxir
@Qxir 3 года назад
Second Channel: ru-vid.com/show-UCt93hxFmjppL5nLRAX94UrA Merch: teespring.com/stores/qxir Patreon: www.patreon.com/qxir Twitter: twitter.com/QxirYT Discord: discord.gg/jZzvvwJ Twitch: www.twitch.tv/qxiryt/ Subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/Qxir/
@daviddorito4980
@daviddorito4980 3 года назад
Dead dog
@daviddorito4980
@daviddorito4980 3 года назад
Yummy
@bellsoflagunabend6668
@bellsoflagunabend6668 3 года назад
Did you use everywhere at the end of time for the soundtrack?
@michaelodonnell7970
@michaelodonnell7970 3 года назад
Cliff young ultramarathon runner would make a great tale from the bottle
@ImGoingSupersonic
@ImGoingSupersonic 3 года назад
Why don't you make more content? All your stories are awesome. BTW, "Takes from the Bottle" is an awesome name!
@nitrocharge2404
@nitrocharge2404 3 года назад
Alzheimer's is by far the worst fate I could imagine being condemned to
@eduardkalmanawardze
@eduardkalmanawardze 3 года назад
also cancer
@yupyup8305
@yupyup8305 3 года назад
@@eduardkalmanawardze you still can have a life with your loved ones while having cancer also a lot of cancer is being able to be treated well.
@krishnansubramoni7801
@krishnansubramoni7801 3 года назад
Any degenerative disease - whether it is of the body (like Cancer) or brain (like Alzheimer's), is a horrible thing. It is literally a slow and painful death. And I hate and fear it.
@bmack6743
@bmack6743 3 года назад
The concept of my entire life fading away and not being able to do anything about it is terrifying. I’d rather just be put down at that point.
@australium7374
@australium7374 3 года назад
@@yupyup8305 no it isn’t, you have not heard of cancer. Stage 1: usually curable, uncommon to be discovered at this stage Stage 2: like flipping a coin, you could get worse, most of the time they find you at this rate but many times it is too late. Stage 3: they can find you here but you have to get therapy as quick as possible Stage 4: no return, a lot of people are found here in this stage Cancer isn’t easy and in many cancers while you don’t lose your brain functions you slowly watch your life become more miserable until you finally give up and death lets you go
@TonyWony
@TonyWony 3 года назад
That is the worst thing for an artist, "forgetting how to draw" artist spend a life time to study how to draw
@ifrit35
@ifrit35 3 года назад
For any of us really. What are we without memories?
@grav8455
@grav8455 3 года назад
@@ifrit35 Nothing.
@15rachana58
@15rachana58 3 года назад
@@grav8455 precisely
@m00nnatic24
@m00nnatic24 3 года назад
Nothing
@G-Mastah-Fash
@G-Mastah-Fash 3 года назад
Your talents are sand in the wind, but the art you produce at least adds to the temple of humanity. It makes you immortal, especially nowadays.
@therefridjerator
@therefridjerator 2 года назад
Scary part is, that last drawing was in 2001. *He didnt die until 2007.*
@apoorlydrawnoctopus1723
@apoorlydrawnoctopus1723 Год назад
That’s is not just scary but tragic as well
@dem7205
@dem7205 Год назад
He wasn’t drawing that by skill He was physically drawing himself Amagine a drawing of what thinks he looks like at 2007
@triggerfish4744
@triggerfish4744 Год назад
@@dem7205 probably just like some hair lines on a piece of paper
@intothevoid5074
@intothevoid5074 11 месяцев назад
Even at the point where "Erased Head" was created (The last self-portrait shown here), he still managed to do an interview. What he said on the creation of his self-portraits was: "[Dementia] makes me anxious because I like to produce good work and I know good work, but it's just so sad when you feel you cannot do it... It was in sense of opportunity to have something so interesting to happen to you... You have to approach something like this positively and throw yourself into it... It's not fighting back, you can't fight it. But I wanted to understand what was happening to me in the only way I can." This was in 2001.
@Cheolssip
@Cheolssip 10 месяцев назад
@@triggerfish4744 more like, a paper torn apart by the person who has forgotten how to grab something
@HelmetmanTheSwede
@HelmetmanTheSwede 2 года назад
Alzheimer’s is one of the worst diseases that exists since this not only affects the bearer but the ones around them. And not in the same way as cancer does since when you have cancer you can still fade away knowing it’s your daughter and son sitting beside you.
@ghostrighter6530
@ghostrighter6530 2 года назад
I hate that my aunt has this. She used to be so loving. Now...ugh... ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-n0deILAcmkk.html
@noname8354
@noname8354 2 года назад
Wdym it's one of the few that affects the people around them? My dad has cancer and severe anemia (around a month ago, he had to go to the ER and receive 5 units of blood; the human body has around 10 units). Idk I'd say seeing him get weaker and weaker, to the point where 1.5 years ago, he was able to move objects weighing 200lbs. Now, he's barely able to walk. Sorry I just haven't been able to express how scared I am with others very well
@bringdislikesback8078
@bringdislikesback8078 2 года назад
@@ghostrighter6530 stop this is extremely serious
@Jay-fn2wz
@Jay-fn2wz 2 года назад
Terminal Lucidity
@ghostrighter6530
@ghostrighter6530 2 года назад
@@Jay-fn2wz dont be crazy bro. Do what you gotta do
@tuabuelaentanga8454
@tuabuelaentanga8454 3 года назад
The worst thing is that in 2001 he just lost his soul completely, he was practically dead... but he died 6 years later. Imagine how his desease was in 2007...
@notxon300
@notxon300 3 года назад
Yeah thats what i thought. 2001 he couldnt identify a single facial feature of his own face, and he continued to live for 6 more years. Scary stuff.
@7waterdrops_7
@7waterdrops_7 3 года назад
I can’t even imagine what it must feels like to live like that...
@tuabuelaentanga8454
@tuabuelaentanga8454 3 года назад
@@notxon300 Like I saw in a comment in eateot, "alzheimer is like a bad joke from the devil".
@al3x_ter
@al3x_ter 3 года назад
@@7waterdrops_7 sadly, I think he slowly forgot he's alive as well before he died. Might sound like I'm mocking him now, but it could actually be a fact.
@7waterdrops_7
@7waterdrops_7 3 года назад
@@al3x_ter Oh my god that’s so sad... imagine just forgetting that you’re alive because your brain is dying... that’s so horrible...
@greensocks5721
@greensocks5721 3 года назад
Honestly, this is one of the worst ways to go.
@nikonordman7624
@nikonordman7624 3 года назад
I would rather kill myself than go like this
@iona5439
@iona5439 3 года назад
I think paralysis is worse because you cant move either
@greensocks5721
@greensocks5721 3 года назад
@@iona5439 I agree but imagine knowing that slowly and surely, you will deteriorate and you’ll will be none the wiser.
@samuelmatheson9655
@samuelmatheson9655 3 года назад
Yeah, bro, just drop a yertior on my head, anxiety is not fun
@hauvrichunter2488
@hauvrichunter2488 3 года назад
@@nikonordman7624 I agree, I'd rather die knowing who I am and what I've done than slowly degrade like this.
@Cxntrxl
@Cxntrxl 2 года назад
The fact that he lived 6 MORE YEARS after losing the ability to draw to that extent really shows how horrifying Alzheimer’s is. It doesn’t kill you quickly, it just makes you drift away until you’re too far gone to keep going. Imagine living in a state of perpetual torment while you forget everything about everyone and begin to hallucinate and distort reality to further reflect the horrors which your mind is subconsciously creating while decaying into a malfunctioning mess at the same time. If I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, immediate euthanasia is my formal request. Don’t make me live through that.
@alaskaone
@alaskaone Год назад
Agreed. Horrible horrible disease.
@dadisman6731
@dadisman6731 Год назад
It might not be as bad as you think.
@benjaminmontenegro3423
@benjaminmontenegro3423 Год назад
@@dadisman6731 what do you mean?
@user-do5zk6jh1k
@user-do5zk6jh1k Год назад
@@benjaminmontenegro3423 I assume that while it is bad from an outside perspective, the patient may not be able to perceive how bad things are since their perception degrades along with their condition.
@ThermicLight
@ThermicLight Год назад
@@dadisman6731 - It's a deeper hell than you know. After an accident I had terrible short term memory. Constantly asking where I was because I kept forgetting. Yet after my full recovery It's just too difficult to describe what it's like living with that state of mind. Imagine being you within, being lost in your own consciousness, but unable to properly express yourself with the world around you.
@MetaGiga
@MetaGiga Год назад
Like many people here, I lost my grandma to Alzheimer’s. From what the caretakers described, she was always so frustrated when she couldn’t remember things, which really makes sense. However, she still tried to make everyone happy and was always singing when she was at the nursing home. When grandma was alive, she just loved to sing and laugh. She was also a potter that owned a pottery studio with a really cool apartment above it! She was probably the most cheerful and positive person I’ve ever known. When she was on her deathbed, it was like her entire personality was gone. She was just... There. Not moving, but awake. No expression on her face. Practically looked like a skeleton. The smell in the room also seemed like she was already dead. She never stopped looking towards me though. I later found out from my mom that even before my grandma was sent to a nursing home, she had pictures of me everywhere. I would go up to her house occasionally and I could see some on the fridge, but I didn’t think much of it. As it turns out, she also had loads more in rooms I didn’t go in to. Grandma had known the deterioration was beginning to start at some point way back before we even noticed it. Sometime when I was just a little kid I think. Even though she had other grandchildren, she was absolutely hellbent on remembering me until she died. It’s probably because I was the youngest of them, but the fact that she pulled out all the stops still makes me cry. In fact, I’m actually starting to now. The reason grandma was looking towards me was because she remembered me. She might not have been able to make me out completely, but she managed to get me so deep into her mind that not even this horrible disease could erase me from her mind. Grandma could see my face and know that while everyone else looked kind of familiar, she knew I was family. She didn’t even look at anyone else except for me, which made me feel really guilty. Everyone loved her so much, but I didn’t want to take away their last moments with her. I actually left the room because I didn’t want to make everyone else upset since grandma was looking at me. I also couldn’t handle the sight and just cried uncontrollably. I managed to settle down after my mom comforted me, and I went back in to say my goodbyes. She looked at me again and I was talking to her for a good ten minutes. I don’t think she understood me, but I just didn’t want to leave her. Finally, I felt the tears pop back up again and I left after one final ‘I love you’. Later that day, she passed. I’m sorry that this turned into a long essay. Whenever I remember grandma and this topic pops up, I want to share my own experience and I can get carried away. If you read it all, thanks for tolerating it all!
@MetaGiga
@MetaGiga Год назад
@ThatOneThing Thank you. You won’t believe how much your reply means to me knowing that you read my experience. My grandma managed to flip the disease the bird by pounding me into her memory so much that it couldn’t get rid of me. Even though it happened almost a decade ago, I still think what she did was absolutely amazing. What I learned from her was that if you spend years and years of dedication to keep something in your mind to remember, it’ll remain even though Alzheimer’s or dementia tries to make it impossible. It might be just a tiny fragment of familiarity in the end that’s like seeing someone you saw one time passing by the sidewalk, but you’ll know that you know them. And that’s probably the most important thing anyone could ever want in their last moments from mind deterioration
@user-vk7zv3he1m
@user-vk7zv3he1m Год назад
my grandma probably is aware of her memory loss and is trying its hardest to stay in contact with me so she could remember me. im not the most important kid in my family tree, but she just loved me. idk how to explain it but she just did. right now i am trying to talk to her more, so that when she eventually passes away, she will remember me even by just a tiny bit. this comment honestly is something that reminded me of her, and thats just nice. dont worry about it turning into a long essay, i dont mind it man
@theempireofall515
@theempireofall515 Год назад
This is so heart breaking I wish you the best of wishes
@ariotl
@ariotl 7 месяцев назад
Thank you for sharing. It's profound to see even against a ruthless disease, she keep fighting without even remembering. Love can find a way through the biggest hardships.
@kaelascrimsonrarities
@kaelascrimsonrarities 7 месяцев назад
This really breaks my heart to read... I'm so sorry for your loss
@cruciblelord6326
@cruciblelord6326 3 года назад
The worst part at points it feels like he reclaimed a small bit of himself before losing it again.
@user-df4zw7yb4v
@user-df4zw7yb4v 3 года назад
yeah, there were times his arts were almost uninteligible until you could make out a face again, unfortunately that didnt happen with the last few drawings
@amethyst4578
@amethyst4578 3 года назад
@@user-df4zw7yb4v well i could kinda make out a head with the last one but maybe its just me
@somethingiguess9783
@somethingiguess9783 3 года назад
@@amethyst4578 I assume that is from one the moments where he could actually think. He made maybe half or so of an actual head, and then forgot again. If you look close enough, you can make out nicely drawn eyes.
@isaacm5339
@isaacm5339 3 года назад
I work at a nursing home and have have this one guy with this disease and man it sucks. His wife comes to see him less and less. Every time she leaves she looks like she's going to vomit. He doesn't remember her at all. Everybody suffers.
@jjasmineluv
@jjasmineluv 3 года назад
@@isaacm5339 aww i feel bad for him dose she want to vomit out of disgust or sadness? It's over all an unfortunate thing to have your loved one forget you, your slowly watching them pass away..
@Official_Youtube_Support
@Official_Youtube_Support 3 года назад
You’re lucky if your mind dies with your body.
@koenskills6796
@koenskills6796 3 года назад
well thats kind of interesting to me, because where´s the line between mind and body. is there even a line, because technically the brain is a part of the body. what are your thoughts on this?
@CJM-rg5rt
@CJM-rg5rt 3 года назад
My brain is just decaying confetti paper.
@roblastname9133
@roblastname9133 3 года назад
Yep for sure
@hotmojoe2483
@hotmojoe2483 3 года назад
@@koenskills6796 i think it depends on what you believe about sentience, (souls and stuff). if you believe the soul is using the body as a shell and the mind as a place to live, the line is pretty clear. if you think that souls aren’t real and there’s just a mind and body, then i think the line between your own self and your mind and body starts to get blurred
@koenskills6796
@koenskills6796 3 года назад
@@hotmojoe2483 i guess what my belief is is that a person is like a very smart computer program. A shitton of small dicisions leading to a very complicayed thing. It may feel like you are really in control, but if you think about it. You dont actually have a say in anything. Im not talking about like fait and shit, im talking about stuff like typing on a keyboard. Its not really you doing those things, its muscle memory. Thats not really you. If you keep thinking about it like that, you start to feel more like a spectator. It makes me feel comfortable for some reason
@rileycoyote4924
@rileycoyote4924 2 года назад
I'm an EMT. By far, Alzheimer's is the disease that's the most disturbing for me. At one point, I had a patient that I took back from dialysis on a somewhat frequent basis, who had Alzheimer's. Every time I transported her, another piece of herself was gone, the last time, she was only capable of screaming. I haven't had a call for her in a while. If she's passed, may she rest in peace.
@shiorimizuki7460
@shiorimizuki7460 6 месяцев назад
Like body part? It sounds horrible
@rileycoyote4924
@rileycoyote4924 6 месяцев назад
@@shiorimizuki7460 No a piece of her mind.
@pieathart
@pieathart 3 месяца назад
Ived worked in elder care a while and my moms an executive director at a different facility. Brothers a cna bla bla. Ive seen so many people go from remembering your name to forgetting theirs
@eewilson9835
@eewilson9835 Месяц назад
Force her to get on the mic, at a death metal concert.
@BlueskyPara
@BlueskyPara 24 дня назад
@@shiorimizuki7460 it’s a serious topic but I can’t “yeah man, each time that lady had to get medical attention, another one of her toes was gone. I don’t really know what was going on but it was mad weird”
@okayokay.2993
@okayokay.2993 Год назад
as an artist, this video makes my stomach heavy. I cannot imagine the thing i love doing, the thing I spend years polishing being taken away from me slowly. I honestly had tears in my eyes when I saw the guidelines at the near end of the video and the way he drew an oval to represt the face in the last potrait. as a an artist, one of the first things you ever learn is to draw those guidelines to make it easier for you, it really broke my heart. its not just art, it's literally anything. I saw so many comments here and read what many skills this disease snatched from their loved ones. it's really amazing how muscle memory works and that he still shaded so well and even gave two dots at the end as eyes. it's so disheartening that he continued to live 6 more years after his last potrait, completely lifeless and probably forgot he once used to draw. may he rest in peace and hopefully we will find a cure in the near future.
@emmarina3525
@emmarina3525 3 года назад
Artist here. From the portraits, it looks almost like he'd forgotten how to draw, and was trying to re-learm from square one. With each piece he was gradually attempting to apply his skills and styles but wasn't able to effectively piece them together into a coherent piece. Like he forgot how to draw but his muscle memory still remembers
@changoelchango
@changoelchango 3 года назад
Musician here. If theyd use music he heard when he was in college his drawings couldve probably been way better. I use this to remember events in my life with a clear picture. I dont know if they did but it wouldve been interesting to see the results of the magical perspective shifting abilities of organized frequencies lol
@TROUPEAUROUGE
@TROUPEAUROUGE 3 года назад
Another artist here, this is exactly what I thought.
@kimeen4494
@kimeen4494 3 года назад
@@changoelchango interesting you say that. My grandmother has Alzheimer's unfortunately, she forgot almost everyone in her family and she doesn't have a sense of self anymore. All she does is sit and smile in confusion. Recently we brought her to our new house and she let us know that she wanted to listen to this particular band and we were shocked when we heard her singing the words and notes perfectly and it brought us to tears. She had forgotten everything but her favorite song
@Sammy_SalmonSac
@Sammy_SalmonSac 3 года назад
@@kimeen4494 Oh that's so sad, I hope the best for you and your family.
@terrencegunther
@terrencegunther 3 года назад
Terrence here. How ya doin', ehh?
@wafflehouse5289
@wafflehouse5289 3 года назад
My grandma died two weeks ago from Alzheimer’s. She was on life support for the last 4-5 years. She always had her mouth open, her teeth were pretty much gone. Her body was so skinny, she was practically a skeleton. There was no hope for her, and yet my aunts and uncles insisted in keeping her alive. When she stopped being able to eat they put a feeding tube in her. Sometimes they thought they saw a glimmer of remembrance in her face. All I know is that in those last few months, she always looked like she was silently screaming for the end. She died “naturally”. Is it wrong that I’m happy she’s finally gone? Surely she’s at peace now? Edit: It’s been a bit more than a year now. I’m so thankful for all the support I’ve seen. When I wrote this comment, I was angry at the situation, and I still greatly dislike how my family handled it. But that ache of loss has long waned and turned into acceptance. She didn’t deserve the end she got. No one does. My only hope is that one day, Alzheimer’s can be managed and treated. No one deserves to suffer such a fate, and no one should have to watch.
@Eden-cf6dw
@Eden-cf6dw 3 года назад
You might be happy she is gone because deep down you know how much pain she was going through. She is in a better place now and she is out of her pain
@gabigariazzo2446
@gabigariazzo2446 3 года назад
No, I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. You’re clearly an empathetic person; it’s difficult to see a loved one in pain. Illnesses, especially Alzheimer’s, are extremely tragic, and I genuinely wish you and your family the best.
@radicalfan8743
@radicalfan8743 3 года назад
Its totally fine. My granpa died two months ago aswell and he had respiratory failure, doctor said that the only way he could stay alive is by having a tube that supported him oxygen. We had him on the tube for awhile but aside from the fact that we had financial problems, my mom and uncles decided to just let him go so that he wouldn't suffer any longer because he was already having a hard time before coming to the hospital, and his heart already stopped once and was just revived. As you said, your grandma has been on life support for some years, she probably would've wanted to finally be in peace instead, same with my grandpa, as how I know him, he would've probably also agreed with his children's decision. I hope you and your family the best during these times ❤️
@DZodiark10
@DZodiark10 3 года назад
I sympathize with this. My grandfather died last year, and he spent his last couple years with dementia. I could tell he was barely there anymore, always listless and lifeless, only coming alive to express terror or confusion or suffering. He was a navy seal in life, who would have chosen death if he could have, to die with strength and honor intact. It’s a difficult moral question. I know there was a part of me that wished he had died sooner. But regardless, it’s over now. Our loved ones aren’t suffering anymore, wherever they are - I believe even a pessimistic nothingness is better than that bullshit. Despite that, I try to tell myself that life is worth living, even the last fleeting moments of it, because once it’s over it might be over forever. But I might change my tune when I meet the same fate. We’ll never know until we are there, and then it’s a one way glass cage.
@probablynotyourdad4616
@probablynotyourdad4616 3 года назад
Whatever’s happened to her, it’s better than what she was going through at the end, I promise.
@samwilts6016
@samwilts6016 2 года назад
I'm in tears. He even looks like my grandfather. I'm sorry grandpa..
@longbow857
@longbow857 Месяц назад
@sagx2010isded My god you are bad at interpreting. It's reflecting back to how people before you must have suffered. You can feel bad for what people have gone through without being the cause of it..
@malwazerek5311
@malwazerek5311 2 года назад
My grandma had alzheimer's.... It is the most painful disease. To be helpless, absolutely helpless as the person you love fades away. She lived in Poland and so I could only visit every couple of years. Each time I visited I could see the drastic changes happening. Every time was a shock. For the most part she couldn't recognize me. But it comforted me to know she loved me, because she would always be walking around the farm looking for little me, back from when I was 3. I'm happy that I remained someway in her heart. At one point she believed there were two of me, the adult and the toddler, but she didn't understand that I was her granddaughter. The last time she recognized me broke my heart. I was in the kitchen with her and my aunt. Grandma started looking for little me again, and asked where I was. My aunt, who took care of her and was so so patient with her said that I'm right here. And it's like the fog lifted for her for a moment. Her eyes locked onto mine and grew wide. And she started crying. She just reached out to me and asked "Oh God, what's happening to me that I can't recognize my own granddaughter." What could I do but hug her so tightly and say it's okay? That I love her? I tried so hard to hold it in but I started bawling. Five minutes later it was as if it never happened, and I became once more the "nice young lady" who was visiting. I was planning on visiting Poland again in 2020, and so was my mom who hadn't seen her parents in a decade. But covid hit, and the flight was cancelled. On February 14, 2021 I woke up and got the news. She was gone. God I wish I could've seen her one last time. To let her know that I love her. I hope she knew I love her. What I wouldn't give to see her sunshine smile again and hear her beautiful laugh. I wish I could hug her again. And I wish that she could've seen the person I grew up to be. I hope that I can be even a fraction of the brave and beautiful woman she was. It hurts so much. I cry every time I stop to dwell on what happened. But I'm happy she's at peace now. She's not suffering, she's not lost. She's resting and happy. And that brings me peace of heart. To anyone going through the ordeal of a loved one suffering from alzheimer's, I send my love. Cherish every moment, because life is such a fragile thing.
@angadgill1558
@angadgill1558 2 года назад
Literally so sorry to hear all of that… i hope you’re doing well🙏🏻🙏🏻
@M.R.Gorilla
@M.R.Gorilla 7 месяцев назад
I am so, so sorry for what happened to you. God bless, and stay strong. Sorry for being late, but just needed to let you know that there's someone who cares about your situation.
@alien3200
@alien3200 Месяц назад
Don't worry, death is a part of life
@jimbobur
@jimbobur 3 года назад
Those last few drawings genuinely filled me with a kind of raw terror that I can't quite put into words.
@enderpup9289
@enderpup9289 3 года назад
Its the terror of lose, each piece loses more and more detail becoming rough blocky losing more and more characteristics of him until even details such as eyes nose and his mouth is gone until it's just a sketch of a head. No hair, no face, nothing but a shape. It's terrifying visualizing the worsening of Alzheimers. He makes the video creepier with the background music beginning joyful and happy with the young art ( minus Korean War painting) and the music gets distorted. Like the musician doesn't know how to play. Till there just static noise. Truly horrifying. More terrifying then any horror movie or scary story
@corbanallen4116
@corbanallen4116 3 года назад
Almost exactly what I was going to say. Horrible way to go :(
@sandshark2
@sandshark2 3 года назад
Its a strange horror that I believe is linked with the same impending doom that death has. It isnt exactly death for your body, but its the knowledge that you, your personality and all the experiences will disappear. Maybe you will notice it happening, yet the very concept of knowing you have an illness could disappear. Its a creature that ceaselessly hunts you down and you cannot comprehend its existence. The unknown is the most terrifying to man, and becoming one with the unknown is death beyond death. Horrifying
@josephhughes2265
@josephhughes2265 3 года назад
The last two, they are so distant from what we would perceive visually as a person. But there is enough semblance, just enough rhyme and reason. Albeit only a little. It makes a person look and ask themselves "is somebody there?".
@beinggayisonlyafractionofm6144
@beinggayisonlyafractionofm6144 3 года назад
Art can be beautiful because of the love and passion put into it. But last one was different, it had sadness and despair too
@IkeaAds.com_BMD7
@IkeaAds.com_BMD7 3 года назад
This video feels different than his other videos
@sardinejellybean2992
@sardinejellybean2992 3 года назад
i really enjoyed it tho
@Proxima_Livion
@Proxima_Livion 3 года назад
It misses the typical ending with conclusion and all. It just goes throu the artists life and ends with his death.
@FriedrichHerschel
@FriedrichHerschel 3 года назад
It lacks his sarcasm.
@adamsandles8103
@adamsandles8103 3 года назад
the static just like un nerved me
@NathanCatherall
@NathanCatherall 3 года назад
@@adamsandles8103 yeah. And I’m listening to this through my beats solo pros which have a defect where I can hear radio static through them. Probably a problem with the Bluetooth or something but regardless it doesn’t help listening to radio silence just out in the background of this video. Not usually that noticeable but still there with me. Every now and then I get a pop or some interference just to let me know that it’s still there...
@MaxMattie
@MaxMattie 2 года назад
My grandpa passed away recently from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. He was also an artist. My heart hurt seeing him deteriorate over the years. I miss him. I hope he’s better wherever he is now and that he knows that I always admired him and love him very much.
@omittingsilence
@omittingsilence 2 года назад
When someone with Alzheimer’s is showing symptoms, it is already to late to stop it. Knowing that makes my heart break.
@brokenland5154
@brokenland5154 3 года назад
My grandmother was an artist as well, she's in late stage Alzheimer's now. She almost completely stopped making art a year ago, except from children's coloring pages. whenever I would color with her, she would just use one color. her favorite use was this diluted pink of the 64 crayon pack, and she would try to shade with it, make highlights, do whatever she could. The only way to communicate with her was in short, chopped sentences. "I love you", "there are leaves outside", "do you want this?" were some of her most used phrases. She forgot almost everything, but she never forgot how much she loves her grandchildren. Alzheimer's is an awful disease, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
@o-o4276
@o-o4276 3 года назад
You making me cry😭😭😭😭
@wingedsn8670
@wingedsn8670 3 года назад
"I love you" Jesus fucking christ that mustve been so hard to deal with
@NaraNom
@NaraNom 3 года назад
IM CRYING NOW SKWKSKWKWMS but I’m so sorry she got Alzheimer’s it’s terrible :((
@brokenland5154
@brokenland5154 3 года назад
​@@wingedsn8670 Yeah, it hurt a lot in her late stages. But she loves visitors and never seems very down on herself, even if she doesn't know what's going on.
@Elliotknotfound
@Elliotknotfound 3 года назад
I feel so lucky that I’m not in your situation
@Pk_Nangz
@Pk_Nangz 3 года назад
The last two portraits are absolutely chilling... and then you realize he lived for SEVEN years after that, you have to wonder what he experienced in those years, how completely un-perceivable. The final portrait reminds me of “Giygas” for those of you who have played earthbound, it’s fucking horrifying.
@ProwerPlaysSega
@ProwerPlaysSega 3 года назад
Omfg ur so right. If this man played mother 2 he would get fucked up
@richpryor9650
@richpryor9650 3 года назад
The man was on his way to transcending humanity.
@thefirstbushman
@thefirstbushman 3 года назад
there were a few where the portraits where looking directly at the viewer and they are chilling to the core, the last few you can tell he's already gone
@thefirstbushman
@thefirstbushman 3 года назад
@@richpryor9650 pretty fucked thing to say tbh
@richpryor9650
@richpryor9650 3 года назад
@@thefirstbushman How so?
@CRISPFELLA
@CRISPFELLA 2 года назад
My great-grandmother has Alzheimer's. She's somehow still alive even after catching covid, and she has been deteriorating for almost 10 years now. Everyone in the family has already mourned for her, even though she's alive. Most of us wish she would just pass away, it would be better for her husband, and for herself. I was the last person she forgot. That day I'll never forget. My dad was breaking down trying to explain who I was, and she didn't know who he was. It's a tough experience.
@Anonymous-df8it
@Anonymous-df8it Год назад
Wishing death on someone is pure evil.
@f4road
@f4road Год назад
@@Anonymous-df8it But sadly that's how it is when someone has a terrible disease, they are truly suffering and sometimes you just wish it would end for them. I even remembered a story where a dementia patient literally unalived himself in a very small moment of lucidity. Truly shows how ruthless dementia is
@Gadget-Walkmen
@Gadget-Walkmen Год назад
@@Anonymous-df8it depends on who they are and for what reason.
@polygonalfortress
@polygonalfortress Год назад
@@Anonymous-df8it my guy they're already dead at that point, they're nothing more than a living body the mind is gone
@Anonymous-df8it
@Anonymous-df8it Год назад
@@polygonalfortress ???
@peternicholsonu6090
@peternicholsonu6090 2 года назад
I met Dennis 5yrs after he lost his wife Sue. He told me “I love my Sue” and I loved him for it. He had a brain seizure but mostly recovered when I met him and so drove and lived in a unit. He would visit often as he did others and we would play “Upwords” a game of skill with words. At first I would ignore his occasional mistaken words to give him a handicap. But in time his skills improved whereby he would beat me fair and square. During these days he told me of his English apprenticeship as a marine engineer. Training on building massive stainless steel steam boilers then his sea service as fourth engineer with Cunard. The larks he got up to were hilarious as was his single journey into arctic waters breaking the ice and ships rails solid with spray ice. Then he had another seizure and could no longer drive nor care for himself. The last five years of his life I would pick him up from the nursing home with his car and would visit friends or cafes for coffee. He would always say grace before his fish and chip lunch saying “Thankyou Jehovah I love you”. Not “we” but “I” so I guessed he was accustomed to prayer on his own in the home. I was so grateful for his marine stories because I could repeat them and they were so familiar to him plus of course funny due to his larks we would both roll around laughing. A wonderful man who allowed me to treat him as I would have treated my father had he allowed it. I take no credit for those years with Dennis for he gave me loyal friendship very rare these days. I learned not to contradict him. When he asked to not be returned to the home I would tell him “no problem, I’ll take you to your flat, but you’ll have to peel your own potatoes and beans, vacuum the floors, wash your shirts” to which he would reply “maybe next time, let’s just go here. RIP dear Dennis until the new world.
@jamesneuman7083
@jamesneuman7083 3 года назад
Everywhere at the end of time Alzhimers scares the shit out of me
@laureng6412
@laureng6412 3 года назад
Exactly
@tomi9562
@tomi9562 3 года назад
And the fsct that you gan just get it. You dont know how pr when you get it, until you start noticing it
@officialbuffoon8506
@officialbuffoon8506 3 года назад
Damn good album. If you have the patience to sit through the full 6 and a half hours, I recommend 10/10
@piethedye3948
@piethedye3948 3 года назад
Don’t remind me of that godforsaken album.
@raze3819
@raze3819 3 года назад
The album is about dementia
@goldkat1
@goldkat1 3 года назад
I like how he doesn't even try to make light of this or make any jokes, let's you know how serious this is
@acardboardboxtank133
@acardboardboxtank133 3 года назад
And he has a depressing tone to it as well
@hep_fulla_pep
@hep_fulla_pep 3 года назад
Why would he?
@mateololero4091
@mateololero4091 3 года назад
@@hep_fulla_pep i dunno usually on scary/creepy stuff there is a time for comic relief
@manuelpineiro6864
@manuelpineiro6864 3 года назад
@@mateololero4091 bababooey ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ٩( ᐛ )وᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡ😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😉😂🙃😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😂😂😉😂😉😂😉😂😂😂😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😂😂😂😂😂😉😂😂😉😂😂😂😂😂😂😉
@jialechen5831
@jialechen5831 3 года назад
@@manuelpineiro6864 Imposter Sussy 𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ
@halogamer1045
@halogamer1045 Год назад
This gives an eerie, cold, suffocating silent aura to the paintings. You are actively watching someone die. You are watching William Utermohlen fade as his art reflects it.
@kooroshrostami27
@kooroshrostami27 4 месяца назад
As terrifying as this seems from the outside, I am not sure that this disease is necessarily so horrible for the person with Alzheimer's themselves. I have a grandmother with Alzheimers who laughs a lot, has 0 pain and really seems overall very happy. She forgets everything right away, but she enjoys herself in the moment. She is completely unaware of her condition. Being trapped in the present also means that you can't be scared by things that happened in the past as much, and she probably isn't able to reflect upon her inevitable death. The condition may look worse from the outside than it is for the person who suffers from it. If the person is experiencing human love and care, they may have a good time.
@goldcanyon340.
@goldcanyon340. 3 месяца назад
I hope you are right.
@jessieschannel4kids127
@jessieschannel4kids127 3 месяца назад
thats your experience, I also have a grandmother with dementia, not (Alzheimer's) however the diseases are similar. I sometimes walk the hallways with her, and I see other people with some other form of dementia, while not all dementia or Alzheimer's patients are panicked or confused, many of them are. One lady in the nursing home is constantly scared and confused, she has no idea where she is and is terrified, she has not had a moment of peace in a long time. Another lady also can't talk, and she always looks agitated or scared, but she can't voice it, the list goes on really..
@Snarkbar
@Snarkbar 3 года назад
Alzheimer's is a terrible way to go. " As late as the year before, his biographer Edmund Morris reported, Reagan was still strong enough to rake leaves from the family pool, but even that basic household chore had become tinged with sadness. "He will rake leaves for hours, not realizing that they are being surreptitiously replenished by his Secret Service men," Morris wrote."
@jandajanda2242
@jandajanda2242 3 года назад
Oh god
@BobbyLewis
@BobbyLewis 3 года назад
Secret service men? What?
@friedrichderhohevonweedman6093
@friedrichderhohevonweedman6093 3 года назад
That must be so incredibly sad to witness. But in a weird way supplying more leaves for him to rake adds a little bit of wholesomenes. People with Alzheimer can get very angry when they are not allowed to do what they want and can get very happy when they're allowed. I read a story about someone's Granddad once for example. He would go out to the store almost everyday to buy some fishing gear. Everytime the same things. His Wife had a whole room arranged to store all the gear he bought. And he was happy doing that so she was too. I think he/she wrote that after he died his wife sold all the gear and divided the money along with the inheritance.
@chupacabra_bites7201
@chupacabra_bites7201 3 года назад
@@BobbyLewis If I recall presidents after they're presidents always have secret service security people for the rest of their lives
@Pedro_the_great
@Pedro_the_great 3 года назад
@@chupacabra_bites7201 They used to. Clinton will be the last one. Bush onwards only have secret service for 10 years
@urphakeandgey6308
@urphakeandgey6308 3 года назад
God damn, the sketches around the 2000s are horrifying.
@Xylospring
@Xylospring 3 года назад
It feel a like a Nightmare Image...
@roux6715
@roux6715 3 года назад
He couldn’t recognise any facial features... it’s almost like to him nothing that makes him human exists anymore, and that he’s just an empty shell, shown by the last picture where there’s nothing. Just his head, missing every feature, just like his brain from that point onward..... sad
@avengingdishwasher
@avengingdishwasher 3 года назад
It was scary, nonetheless. Slowly losing the ability to remember his own reflection. Nightmare fuel, and a great way to make you cry. I wish there was a cure.
@prezidenttrump5171
@prezidenttrump5171 2 года назад
Only because the stupid music manipulated you into feeling tthat way. Get shit on lemming.
@rottenbear1507
@rottenbear1507 2 года назад
The bible says do not say the lords name in vain
@KyleSmith-qt9sg
@KyleSmith-qt9sg 2 года назад
Thank you for this. My father at the age of 57 died from Alzheimer's on Dec 31st 2015. He had a brilliant mind and even though watching this brought me to tears, it is nice to get somewhat of a glimpse into what he might have felt or experienced while going through it. All I can say is that it changed my life forever and little insights like this video are very much appreciated.
@elviraguadalupe6325
@elviraguadalupe6325 3 месяца назад
Wow your father was so young 🙏
@elviraguadalupe6325
@elviraguadalupe6325 3 месяца назад
I'm 57
@tanveer_badar_
@tanveer_badar_ 25 дней назад
Only 57? Was it early onset?
@dereka5017
@dereka5017 3 месяца назад
Slowly losing yourself is absolutely terrifying.
@PowerTrain611
@PowerTrain611 3 года назад
My Meemaw had Alzheimer's. she was less than 80 pounds when she died at the age of 96. She didn't seem too bothered by it though. She had a daily regimen of a glass of wine and a pack of cigarettes to keep her spirits up. As a Scottish born woman, she emigrated to the USA... Twice. Even with her mental state, she remembered who I was. She was a wonderful, kind and strong woman and I miss her terribly.
@user-ellievator
@user-ellievator 3 года назад
I don't even know her and I miss her...
@JudeOhHecc
@JudeOhHecc 3 года назад
You know it’s bad when you cry for someone else...
@dragonslayerornstein387
@dragonslayerornstein387 3 года назад
That some incredible sheer will, her mind refusing to forget you, in fact, refusing to stop perceiving or acknowledging you. That's amazing though unfortunate, she loved you more than the Alzheimer took away.
@Riles04
@Riles04 3 года назад
Cap 🧢
@bruh4573
@bruh4573 3 года назад
@@dragonslayerornstein387 or maybe the plaques did not form in the part of the brain that remembered them
@yellowishbananas6111
@yellowishbananas6111 3 года назад
Alzheimer's scares the heck out of me, it's such a horrible existential monster that makes you go back time as time around you goes forward. It makes 'you' not 'you' anymore, slowly and gradually over time. It not only kills you, it kills your consciousness in the most gruesome of ways.
@yu-gi-lo2425
@yu-gi-lo2425 3 года назад
Same I just hope they have a cure to it by the time I'm around 70... C'mon scientists you have 50 years!
@sheilatakesabow
@sheilatakesabow 3 года назад
@@yu-gi-lo2425 Ikr I don’t wanna deal with forgetting how to draw I’ve worked so hard...
@3F1VE
@3F1VE 3 года назад
@@yu-gi-lo2425 that wont happen since conditions like alzhiemers or dememtia make brain cells die and basically make you die overtime
@yu-gi-lo2425
@yu-gi-lo2425 3 года назад
@@3F1VE hmm that sucks, well at least I just checked and noone in my family over the last multiple generations had alzheimer's so thats good I guess (eventhough it doesnt run in the family aperantly)
@omgnoi
@omgnoi 3 года назад
@@yu-gi-lo2425 I learned in nursing school that many Alzheimer’s develop much earlier, some people in their late twenties. It progresses over time, sadly.
@jozajab6849
@jozajab6849 2 года назад
I think his work just just to do these portraits makes him one of the the most important artists of all time.
@AngelaJsaca
@AngelaJsaca Месяц назад
Excellent 🙏🏼
@bean1221
@bean1221 2 года назад
My grandpa died last year. He had dementia. As i was young and practically only remember him after his illness overcame him, i didnt pay that much attention at the time. I never thought of how it affected him mentally.... I hope u r doing well grandpa.
@Yami_Soryu
@Yami_Soryu 3 года назад
The last 3 are terrifying, they don't resemble a human, and it just shows how far his mind had went by then
@shizune_
@shizune_ 3 года назад
You can see in the 2nd to last one that he was trying to make a human face, but he forgot how to do it.
@cheeseburgerconsumer
@cheeseburgerconsumer 3 года назад
the 1997 one his face just slid off his face, 1998 doesn't even look like a face, if I could see a face it looks like its screaming 1999 just makes me cry, he was trying so hard to try to make a decent human face 2000 just looks like a distorted normal face without eyes, the nose is where the eyes should be, 2001 not even human like, why is there a 8 by its head, remember these are SELF portraits he was trying to draw himself
@bensoncheung2801
@bensoncheung2801 3 года назад
@@cheeseburgerconsumer There are multiple 1997,1998, and 1999 paintings, timestamps or order?
@douglaspantz
@douglaspantz 3 года назад
And the thing is, he lived 6 years longer, but he was really already dead by the time he drew his last painting
@KvertoAnimations
@KvertoAnimations 3 года назад
My grandma (also known as the coolest person ever) has alzhimers, and i am so deeply sad about this. We can't go visit her because of Covid-19. Everthing sucks.
@tanzimi5518
@tanzimi5518 3 года назад
“One of the worst things you could have to do is grieve somebody who is already alive”
@xtremegamrr3719
@xtremegamrr3719 2 года назад
Dang that hits
@UltraLulz
@UltraLulz 2 года назад
My granddad has severe Alzheimer's disease now and I cry for him almost everyday....this hits
@kurookami2762
@kurookami2762 2 года назад
That would have been a solid quote if it was a bit clearer
@xtremegamrr3719
@xtremegamrr3719 2 года назад
@@kurookami2762 honestly it was said pretty clearly to me “The worst thing possible is grieve for someone who is still breathing” is that better?
@theonionqueen3519
@theonionqueen3519 2 года назад
I miss my grandmother so much, and she is still alive and lives right down the street. That is exactly how it feels.
@gatorscoops3861
@gatorscoops3861 2 года назад
My grandma had Alzheimer’s, she remembered who I was before he passing a week later. She told me she remembered my smile and I cried in front of her. I fear this disease more than death
@lexnash9838
@lexnash9838 5 месяцев назад
nursing homes are some of the most depressing places i've had the displeasure to visit
@K-Lowe
@K-Lowe 2 года назад
The fact he lived 6 years after he stopped painting kinda scares me, how long was he just... gone?
@popp1040
@popp1040 2 года назад
Definitely one of the worst fates you could have. You just have to sit there while you slowly deteriorate.
@lois1677
@lois1677 2 года назад
An eternity
@akaededeval374
@akaededeval374 2 года назад
@@popp1040 and everyone thinks that this is not gonna happen to them... When in fact mostly everyone ends up with at least some kind of dementia....that's why eutanasia it's so vital and should be legal and common practice everywhere in the fucking world... I know i sure as hell will not wait to become an old zombie with open mouth saliva dripping staring at a wall 24/7 picking my asshole with my hands and smearing my shit all over my surroundings before ending myself...
@noidsuper
@noidsuper 2 года назад
@@akaededeval374 I used to be against euthanasia but after being exposed to the horrible reality of neurodegenerative diseases my position is no longer sustainable. It is too terrible to let pass
@shinji5217
@shinji5217 2 года назад
@@akaededeval374 nah, let's all make a secret society so that when we are diagnosed we make a little war against each other and die like men. Lol, can't tell me it is the boring way out.
@alexxurd9788
@alexxurd9788 3 года назад
When you started showing his drawings as his conditioned worsened it felt like a psychological horror game to insanity
@GabrielleTollerson
@GabrielleTollerson 3 года назад
it's sad 💔
@opossumcorpseparty
@opossumcorpseparty 3 года назад
It's scary, but at the same time it's sad
@stacl1173
@stacl1173 3 года назад
It’s sad and the music is pretty creepy tbh
@ddlcfan5539
@ddlcfan5539 3 года назад
“The caretakers: everywhere at the end of time” isn’t a game but if you don’t know what its is id say its worth a search
@ethrealgant8838
@ethrealgant8838 2 года назад
I know I felt it too
@wilsonrawlin8547
@wilsonrawlin8547 2 года назад
Taking care of and watching my mom go through this was the most painful thing in my life.
@cryingchihuahua487
@cryingchihuahua487 Год назад
Hope you’re doing fine now fam
@wilsonrawlin8547
@wilsonrawlin8547 Год назад
@@cryingchihuahua487 Thank you. Mom is now in heaven and happy.
@ahuman4167
@ahuman4167 Год назад
My grandmother had Alzheimer’s she didn’t forget anyone but she wasn’t saying anything, my mom always talks about how my grandmother hadn’t seen her in a while but my mom went to her hospital room and as my mother walked in my grandmothers face lit up, she had remembered her and she was speaking and saying how much she loved her, we’re thankful she passed when she did.
@hamburgerhamburger4064
@hamburgerhamburger4064 3 года назад
His last one was in 2000, maybe 2002? *the poor guy didn’t die until 2007. Imagine the pain of that.*
@syawalhamidi
@syawalhamidi 3 года назад
When you're already die but your body refused to do the same thing...
@alextheconfuddled8983
@alextheconfuddled8983 3 года назад
@@syawalhamidi Undertale determination in real life. Must be like this
@Lyrical14369
@Lyrical14369 3 года назад
@@alextheconfuddled8983like the amalgams? Yea.. that's sad. Being alive but 'you' are no longer there
@alextheconfuddled8983
@alextheconfuddled8983 3 года назад
@@Lyrical14369 I was envisioning more of the Undyne neutral route killing her
@Lyrical14369
@Lyrical14369 3 года назад
@@alextheconfuddled8983 i don't remember what happens to her in neutral, unless you mean her deteriorating in genocide
@hommie789
@hommie789 3 года назад
an absolute departure from "normal" Qxir video's but well done kid, this is very heavy and touching as I, myself, am on the long slow decline of dementia, I am only 52 but age doesn't care and it is early. I am hoping for a decade or more before it becomes so bad that need help. It is frustrating as even trying to write this, the words escape me.
@PowerTrain611
@PowerTrain611 3 года назад
I'm so sorry to hear this. Never give up the fight!
@jessered8391
@jessered8391 3 года назад
I am so sorry. I am truly so sorry. If I could take your helplessness away, I would break it into little pieces for the world to bear in a manner so insignificant nobody would feel a thing. Just know that someone out here genuinely hurts for you. Someone you’ve never met cares. I hope there is some solace to be had in that. If there isn’t, I wish there was. I hope relief is frequent and life fulfilling everyday you have left.
@thatguy4874
@thatguy4874 3 года назад
@@jessered8391 that was beautiful
@seanmcmullen4274
@seanmcmullen4274 3 года назад
Thank you for sharing
@apathtrampledbydeer8446
@apathtrampledbydeer8446 3 года назад
I wish you the best.
@stefanoschristodoulou6295
@stefanoschristodoulou6295 2 года назад
My grandma had Alzheimer's. She then had a stroke and her half brain wasn't working correctly. She was fading away due to Alzheimer's and she couldn't even walk. It was really sad seeing her like that and not being able to do anything about it. She died in 2019. I still miss her...
@viceversa-ferrari3585
@viceversa-ferrari3585 Год назад
My grandma died of a stroke alzheimers not long ago too
@user-rt8qu8wr5l
@user-rt8qu8wr5l Год назад
My grandma died for Alzheimer, and honestly, the illness it's more painful for the others around than the patient themselves. I have schizophrenia so I know how is this of "forget things and people and alucinante". When I start getting a crisis, my family shows be more worried than myself about me. I don't really fell much as everything desapears around me and get distorted, but my suffering is for seeing my family worried and scarred. And seeing the face of my deceased grandma the feeling of: "we suffer more than the patient" proof it, she was with an happy and relaxed face she don't showed years ago. I think the suffering is more for see people panicking around than actually be aware what is happening or feeling fiscal pain.
@Mk18_40mm
@Mk18_40mm Год назад
I hope you are doing well
@rofldiekartofl7712
@rofldiekartofl7712 Год назад
Youre absolutely right, its just so horrific, cause we manage to feel what we would feel, to be capable of knowing to not knowing anymore. But at some stage of this brutal sickness you wont know nothing anymore. But for the watcher it is traumatic. I once needed to spend several days and nights a with an elderly woman which was in like the 5th or 6th state and it still gives me shivers to think about what i saw, but in the end she didnt feel what i felt. Thats the only "good" thing with altzheimer...at some point you will not feel or know it anymore. I hope this helps someperson to get rid of ,a little bit, of the anxiousness she/he felts. Ive been there too, its horrible.
@alien3200
@alien3200 Месяц назад
Your whole bloodline is filled with diseases lol 😂😂
@Alex-yy3sk
@Alex-yy3sk 3 года назад
The saddest part is that even in the last drawing you can see his desperate attempts at trying to shade and use the techniques he learned previously, but to no avail. That must've been so frustrating. On another note, I have face blindness. My brain doesn't process faces correctly and this also combines with retrograde amnesia. The way I remember faces look exactly like his last drawings... God that's freaky. To think that everyone's face might eventually look like either three dots or a blur ALL the time instead of just in my memory is definitely a cause for concern.
@hassantalpur6792
@hassantalpur6792 3 года назад
I pray you get cured and are able to live peacefully without worry
@marthachampagne316
@marthachampagne316 3 года назад
@@hassantalpur6792 people trying to 'cure' people who are non-nurotypical only make themselves a pain in the ass. you find workarounds. i cant remember my mothers face but one word and i can tell who is who, subtle color variations are good if folk don't dye their hair or use makeup, height, general build. i still remember one teacher who was a real pain in the ass who constantly harassed me saying 'whats my name', still cant remember the name and i spent three years as a student there. almost makes me as mad as the anti-vaxcers who refuse to vaccinate their kid because autisim. you would rather have your kid be dead than be imperfect? nurotypical is way overated. you need the creative people as well as the folk who do hard calculus. way i see it so long as folk are high functioning your lot has no right to make a fuss.
@redragon9588
@redragon9588 3 года назад
Is it bad that I actually cant recall faces in my head at all?
@TsukiNaito1
@TsukiNaito1 3 года назад
That sounds frustrating af. I think I might be on the autism spectrum, so I have this habit of not intuitively looking people in the face, so when I have to find someone I've only recently met again, it can be a bit embarrassing that I don't 100% know what they look like. Because I've barely seen their face. But literally not being able to remember a face? Yeesh.
@redragon9588
@redragon9588 3 года назад
@@TheMagicPinecone facial blindness when you look at two different people and you cant see difference in their faces
@KoovoParkolainen
@KoovoParkolainen 2 года назад
My grandmother turns 90 in 2 months. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2012. She seems to be perfectly functional and lucid, but if you spend more than 5 minutes with her, it becomes clear that she can't really remember anything past 1970 and can't retain new memories. We asked her a few days ago if she knows how old she was. Her answer was 39 years old.
@peteiiseasy3217
@peteiiseasy3217 2 года назад
Alzheimer is very traitorous disease
@dotVer
@dotVer 2 года назад
dude thats actually fucking scary what the hell
@RandomPerson-hd6wr
@RandomPerson-hd6wr 2 года назад
Jesus
@crystalbluesky3084
@crystalbluesky3084 2 года назад
Damn... god bless her
@KoovoParkolainen
@KoovoParkolainen 2 года назад
The ironic thing is that she is happy. Her sense of humor is still there and she can keep up with shorter conversations. She can't remember places, people or events but lives in a single moment instead. Thankfully my grandfather is still in perfect health and remembers things for her.
@semerahpadi4484
@semerahpadi4484 5 месяцев назад
Even wirh frail mental health, his sketches still has that touch of an art.
@amymiller5266
@amymiller5266 5 месяцев назад
I love that you told his story instead of just showing his drawings. It’s respectful ♥️.
@misterjerofficial
@misterjerofficial 3 года назад
It seems as he felt his brain was lost, his identity was no more, that’s why his last drawings were faceless.
@jakubzov
@jakubzov 3 года назад
@Ansu Dante You cannot know that. Maybe Soul is still there but it‘s bounded to the body. Once the body dies Soul is finaly set free.
@jakubzov
@jakubzov 3 года назад
@Ansu Dante i am not russian. But i am from slavic country.
@You-dn8ep
@You-dn8ep 3 года назад
@@jakubzov cool man
@unknownuser4816
@unknownuser4816 3 года назад
@Ansu Dante I sadly came to that same conclusion. I still have nightmares where I have tremendous existential crisis experiences.
@carjay7
@carjay7 3 года назад
His mind was gone, but his soul was set free.
@stynnguyen6085
@stynnguyen6085 3 года назад
Imagine the pain of going into the room of your loved one with Alzheimer’s whom you spent your whole life with, growing up, going out, having fun, and now they just start off with “Who are you?” As if everything you did together with that person is lost forever.
@AAaaA-pg3rp
@AAaaA-pg3rp 3 года назад
Ughhh that’s so painful to think aboutt
@debm8470
@debm8470 3 года назад
I see your point, but honestly they are still quite good if they can ask a lucid question. The last few years what they say is either nonsensical if they are not all together non verbal by then.
@stynnguyen6085
@stynnguyen6085 3 года назад
@@debm8470 true but now when going to meet someone who has Alzheimer’s, it’s like you’re meeting a completely new person in the same body. Which is really saddening since the person you know isn’t there no more.
@debm8470
@debm8470 3 года назад
@@stynnguyen6085 yeah I know. Lost a parent to it....
@stynnguyen6085
@stynnguyen6085 3 года назад
@@debm8470 Omg!! Im so sorry for your lost. May your parent rest in peace. 🙏🏼❤️ I also hope you are doing well. 🤍
@HappyNatureLover
@HappyNatureLover Месяц назад
A very thoughtful and compassionate presentation. The evolution of his self portraits really brings home the reality.
@superj9685
@superj9685 Год назад
I think this is the best, most informative thing I've ever watched on RU-vid.
@robjones2408
@robjones2408 3 года назад
My mother was a nurse dealing with patients who had Alzheimer's, said to me years ago:- "If I ever get this illness, shoot me." She has had the disease for a decade and no longer recognizes me. She has become a living ghost, who lives in an eternal past. What a terrible tragedy.
@user-iu8mh6or6u
@user-iu8mh6or6u 3 года назад
Damn
@robjones2408
@robjones2408 3 года назад
@@user-xv1jr8gy3c I wish it was a joke. When my father died, my mother went to the funeral unaware of his death. It doesn't get much bleaker than that.
@user-xv1jr8gy3c
@user-xv1jr8gy3c 2 года назад
@@robjones2408 I hope you get better man. Actually my grandma is suffering as well. Watching a mind wither away is never a good experience.
@robjones2408
@robjones2408 2 года назад
@@user-xv1jr8gy3c Thanks for your kind thoughts. Mum is going very gently into eternal darkness. She isn't suffering, as she has no awareness of what is happening to her. One day, she will go to sleep forever.
@shaunsamazingcontent9797
@shaunsamazingcontent9797 2 года назад
Hey man I know what it’s like Stay strong one day your mom will be in peace with your father don’t give up for that day
@virgurilla4084
@virgurilla4084 3 года назад
I lost a familiar to Alzheimer so I have an early experience with it. It fucking sucks, its such a cruel illness. The word is cruel.
@julotlebulot1502
@julotlebulot1502 3 года назад
This crap did'nt let me know my grandmother i wish to never see this in my future life
@willo-zo5rd
@willo-zo5rd 3 года назад
this honestly terrifies me, how common it is, and how you just become a husk. i’m sorry for your loss
@christiaansjouw5680
@christiaansjouw5680 3 года назад
I feel you bro... My mother has it :( hopefully they'll find a cure soon
@Deltafrost-xh7sq
@Deltafrost-xh7sq 3 года назад
The world is cruel my friend but you gotta make your part in the world shine anyway you want
@AbuHajarAlBugatti
@AbuHajarAlBugatti 3 года назад
@@christiaansjouw5680 as horrible as it sounds they will not. The most common reason is already known: aluminium. Particles are in the air, in the food, in anything that is Packaged in aluminium. When you ingest it, it plugs up the brain and sets in degeneration. There are few things that can help the body get rid of heavy metals and stuff like curcuma also helps the brain a bit as well as memory, but Im not sure what REALLY can be a working quick and easy solution for the common man. Im sure for the rich there already is something around. But its a multibillion dollar industry, they will not allow to lose it. Money is todays societies God. Dont forget that
@heddja
@heddja Год назад
this gave me a pit in the stomach, this is one of the most horrifying things i’ve ever heard and seen. No one deserves this, ever!
@YeeThirty
@YeeThirty 4 месяца назад
This video is probably the most well done and serious video in your entire catalog, ive watched it probably a dozen times now. Noramlly your videos are up-beat and a little more on the fun side but with the serious nature of this video, you nailed it.
@kaboost1528
@kaboost1528 3 года назад
This hurts, my grandfather died to it last week. He could barely remember his family. He'd constantly beg for water, even if he just drank. It was like torture.
@kdelta1987
@kdelta1987 3 года назад
I'm really sorry to hear that dude. It's a horrible process to go through having to watch someone you love just degrade like that. I understand the pain of all that. It sounds cheesy but seriously: Stay strong okay? My thoughts go out to you.
@kaboost1528
@kaboost1528 3 года назад
@@kdelta1987 thanks man, that means allot
@kdelta1987
@kdelta1987 3 года назад
@@kaboost1528 It's no problem dude. Seriously, I wish there was someway to like, REALLY prepare for all of that. Like, you think you're able to handle seeing family like that and the you realize you're not. Someone's gotta make like the Alzheimer's/dementia equivalent of Alcoholics Anonymous so people can lean on each other and sort of learn how to move on and how to handle everything.
@Mitsuri.Kanroji..
@Mitsuri.Kanroji.. 3 года назад
hope ur doing ok R.I.P ur grandpa
@juliee593
@juliee593 3 года назад
I hope life is treating you better nowadays, much love
@zachaliles
@zachaliles 3 года назад
The static in the background is a haunting touch.
@deephorizon1365
@deephorizon1365 3 года назад
Agreed, Qxir really knew what to do when making this vid.
@imageignition23
@imageignition23 3 года назад
And then when it cuts suddenly * video stops * Back to reality...
@omgitsraining44
@omgitsraining44 3 года назад
@Ur Mom Caretaker is a nice touch on such a video.
@likira111
@likira111 3 года назад
Someone listened to the caretaker
@samuraijackoff5354
@samuraijackoff5354 3 года назад
It’s like the piano slowly fades, you are forgetting how the piano sounds, only the the vague concept of sound.
@ptonpc
@ptonpc 2 года назад
I've had a couple of relatives with Alzheimer's. Every time I saw them, a little more of them had died, there was less of the person I knew. It's the only way I can describe it. I can't think of many worse ways to go.
@SomeAsianArt
@SomeAsianArt 2 года назад
I remember watching this channel about the Tank video but now I found it again, Nice to be here again!
@Crucent
@Crucent 3 года назад
As an artist, and as a fellow human; seeing his drawings from when he got diagnosed until he couldn't draw anymore, made me cry for him
@Artificial_Idiot
@Artificial_Idiot 2 года назад
As an beginner artist, Yeah same. I would be sad too, forgetting how to draw but most importantly forgetting my past, my families, my friend, my thoughts, myself. It’s scary.
@maggiem6209
@maggiem6209 2 года назад
I'm honestly wondering if I shouldn't watch this. [Edit:] Yup. As an artist, I want it to be known, if I get Alzheimer's and there's still no cure, just shoot me. It's a tragedy to watch this man slowly lose his grip on himself and his reality. It's cruel to be expected to stay when you are becoming less and less yourself every day.
@Gh0stBustaz11
@Gh0stBustaz11 2 года назад
That's the whole point of the video duh
@Ravenmaven6969
@Ravenmaven6969 2 года назад
You can be a human being with no compassion but thank you for stating you are a human being 🤣
@janesjanes4553
@janesjanes4553 2 года назад
I think his art became even more beautiful
@willstegall840
@willstegall840 3 года назад
this is my worst fear, watching a family member die before their death has to be the worst thing on this planet.
@ironicivan4928
@ironicivan4928 3 года назад
i agree i don't want this to happen any person i respect
@littlemissemila1818
@littlemissemila1818 3 года назад
It’s scary....
@snowpawwildcraft6276
@snowpawwildcraft6276 3 года назад
I'm so scared of this happening to me or anyone around me. Death of a loved one is already scary enough
@omgnoi
@omgnoi 3 года назад
It runs in my family. I’ve watched every old person in my family develop Alzheimer’s. It’s sad knowing it’ll happen to my parents and siblings and eventually myself...
@vekuboi
@vekuboi 3 года назад
@@omgnoi were in the same boat. Sadly we will forget each other.
@AmericanPatriot-1776
@AmericanPatriot-1776 2 года назад
He was an amazing artist even in the middle of his affliction.
@emptiness.951
@emptiness.951 6 месяцев назад
This is why I’m scared to grow older. I don’t want to put everything I’ve done now go to waste, and I still want to cherish my youth. Even as a 15 yo, I feel like I’m wasting my life. This is why I find it scary to think about the end of life, maybe ending up forgetting it all, like the artist did. Regardless, I can’t say much else other than how interesting this is.
@ballisticbee6001
@ballisticbee6001 3 года назад
There is a reason why I’d rather die from an accident than die “from old age”. Usually in an accident you have a fully functioning body and mind until you die. When you die of old age however, you can have endless health issues, both with the mind and the body. I don’t want to feel myself dying. Also I feel bad for my step-grandparents. They are 72 and 74, my grandma has a deteriorating body (arthritis, idk what it’s medically called but she has a hunchback also) and my grandpa’s mind is deteriorating with dementia. However my grandma’s mind is as clear as day and my grandpa will still play any sport he can, like Basketball or Golf. They’re the yin and yang of becoming old.
@koro-is-caffeinated
@koro-is-caffeinated 3 года назад
One of my grandparents has a hunched back and it's from her osteoporosis, is that what you're referring to?
@aloedark5221
@aloedark5221 3 года назад
That is very sad but kind of wholesome
@australium7374
@australium7374 3 года назад
No matter how healthy you are, you still die from nothing. they have to have better cures or treatments in the future I don’t wish any type of this on any of my worst enemies
@jayfancy0
@jayfancy0 3 года назад
This stuff makes me wanna cry!
@abbiereynolds8016
@abbiereynolds8016 3 года назад
That's how I feel to, I want to die before I'm old, but not in a oh I'm suicidal way, like if I could choose how I die I don't want to be old and sick. Idk man the topic kind of depresses me tbh.
@oreowithurea5018
@oreowithurea5018 3 года назад
The "If you have alzheimer's then just forget it" joke... *is not funny anymore after this*
@Dog-wp5oj
@Dog-wp5oj 3 года назад
Me has alzheimers *forgets I have alzheimers*, I remember everything
@y100900185
@y100900185 3 года назад
@@Dog-wp5oj If that would be so easy to cure Alzheimer’s :/
@vinikk77
@vinikk77 3 года назад
What if you forget you don't have alzheimer
@Scazoid
@Scazoid 3 года назад
@@vinikk77 Then you forget that you forget that you forget you have alzheimers.
@10thletter40
@10thletter40 3 года назад
It is still funny. But Im going to need a night before then
@brucegordon7248
@brucegordon7248 2 года назад
It was an interesting progression, or should I say regression as how he viewed himself deteriorating as time went on. I really think that he displayed genuine talent as an artist.
@goatedconfirmed1337
@goatedconfirmed1337 Месяц назад
Still better than anything I could do. Just shows how much talent he actually had even with his condition worsening
@donaldronson1387
@donaldronson1387 3 года назад
Thanks for actually using William's earlier art instead of just focusing on the post 1995 work. He really was a brilliant artist.
@jhavajoe3792
@jhavajoe3792 2 года назад
I thought the same.
@koichi7534
@koichi7534 2 года назад
Checkout the video “Toasters” made on it. Way more informative and more pleasing to look at.
@familydoherty6873
@familydoherty6873 2 года назад
this is true
@ubercat6472
@ubercat6472 2 года назад
It really dawned on me how terrifying this disease is when I saw the last few pictures. This is an artist trying his absolute hardest to produce an image that resembles himself. And he can’t. He physically can’t.
@vg6761
@vg6761 2 года назад
It did resemble himself. 😭
@feelosmash3749
@feelosmash3749 2 года назад
@@vg6761 Jesus Christ...
@KeysAndDoorss
@KeysAndDoorss 2 года назад
@@vg6761 Holy
@belieall9974
@belieall9974 2 года назад
@@vg6761 huh?
@lancepyron8078
@lancepyron8078 2 года назад
@@belieall9974 He's saying that it did resemble him as it was just a blank face and that he isn't really that person anymore, just a blank face
@Trav81888
@Trav81888 2 года назад
I’ve watched every single one of your videos except this one…until now. It’s a sensitive subject to me. From 98-01 it was hard to watch. However the last partial portrait I see the cat (2 of them really) when you turn it sideways and that brought me some joy. I can tell he loved cats just like I do. Good video. Just a tough one for the topic
@elenamilitopingitore5044
@elenamilitopingitore5044 2 года назад
What a great artist. I am glad this record of progression exists. It conveys the experience of deterioration far better than what could be articulated in words.
@weissch.3374
@weissch.3374 3 года назад
That was like watching a horror movie.
@iawindowss4061
@iawindowss4061 3 года назад
Scarier then any horror movie too
@AxxLAfriku
@AxxLAfriku 3 года назад
GAGAGAGAGAGA! I will now count to 3 and then I am still the unprettiest RU-vidr of all time. 1...2...3. GAGAGAGAGAGA!!! Btw I have TWO very HOT GIRLfriends who I show off in my v*deos. Thank you for your attention, dear qeis
@iawindowss4061
@iawindowss4061 3 года назад
@@AxxLAfriku You have no shame do you
@manuxx3543
@manuxx3543 3 года назад
You should go Listen to Everywhere at the end of time by the Caretaker
@ZachAttack-fy5dl
@ZachAttack-fy5dl 3 года назад
@@AxxLAfriku Shut the hell up you dumbass, this is a serious topic and nobody gives a shit about your fake ass actor girlfriends.
@alex_13_m
@alex_13_m 3 года назад
One sad thing i realised: the event that popularized him the most in art was the one that doomed the rest of his life and erased everything he knew about art
@prapanthebachelorette6803
@prapanthebachelorette6803 2 года назад
A profound sad truth not many people mentioned. Thanks for acknowledging that
@TheLostArchives1
@TheLostArchives1 2 года назад
Wait what i dont get it
@dhans9662
@dhans9662 2 года назад
@@TheLostArchives1 The reason his art became popular was because he had alzheimers which led to him losing his art skills and eventually his death, if that makes sense
@TheLostArchives1
@TheLostArchives1 2 года назад
@@dhans9662 ah okay maybe the original comment was just hard to understand. Thanks for clearing jt up and making sense of it for me.
@dhans9662
@dhans9662 2 года назад
@@TheLostArchives1 Happy to help
@jimferry6539
@jimferry6539 2 года назад
Thanks for that refreshing story, it really brightened my day 😒
@somedude3314
@somedude3314 3 месяца назад
Mourning the loss of someone who is still alive is sad.
@olbradley
@olbradley 3 года назад
This is probably among the eeriest things I have ever observed. You don't just see it, you can almost feel them worsening. You feel it almost as though you were feeling it physically. A slow, gradual but noticeable deterioration until there is almost nothing left but unintelligible scribbles. A sad, sad fate...
@laureng6412
@laureng6412 3 года назад
Look up everywhere at the end of time, it's a musical representation of that
@kos2919
@kos2919 3 года назад
If you're interested with painters did after their condition worsened try Affandi. He start losing his sight and you can see his paintings change as his vision got worse.
@olbradley
@olbradley 3 года назад
@Couch stfu
@localforearm1627
@localforearm1627 3 года назад
@Couch are you like lost or something?
@daydene.6356
@daydene.6356 3 года назад
@Couch this ain't the place for that, alright?
@jakemiller3026
@jakemiller3026 3 года назад
Both my grandparents on my dad’s side had Alzheimer’s. They were dead to me years before their bodies died. It’s a sad state to be in. I’d never wish it on my worst enemy.
@ironicivan4928
@ironicivan4928 3 года назад
same
@yupyup8305
@yupyup8305 3 года назад
My neighbor has Alzheimer i lived in the house for 13 years now and she doesn't remember anything I remember her asking me who I was turning away and then asking again it is a sad condition and one I am highly scared of.
@ironicivan4928
@ironicivan4928 3 года назад
@@yupyup8305 i wish this disease upon nobody
@Nantawat_Kittiwarakul
@Nantawat_Kittiwarakul 3 года назад
Exactly what happened to my grandparents too. And since my dad passed away due to Parkinson's disease years ago, I believe the depressing end is waiting me in the not-so-far future.😢😢
@joshkary5040
@joshkary5040 3 года назад
@Psyche That’s fucked up, even if you’re just being edgy.
@Angelo_Flores
@Angelo_Flores 7 месяцев назад
This is scary, drawing yourself day by day with Alzheimer's is like seeing yourself deteriorating. The last picture gave me chills
@yxkhithab
@yxkhithab 2 года назад
My grandma is in her late 70s and has breast cancer, but isn’t diagnosed with dementia, although we suspect she has it. We went on a family trip together to Sri Lanka a few years ago, and my grandpa (her husband) decided not to come. A few days into the trip, we were at a hotel eating dinner at the buffet and my grandma suddenly seemed, lost? She was looking around confused and asked us where we were. Our hearts dropped. We told her we came on a trip to Sri Lanka and she seemed genuinely confused. She then asked where my grandpa was, and we had to remind her he didn’t come with us on the trip. That was so scary, and we haven’t had something as bad happen again but it seems to have gotten more frequent. She often accuses people of stealing money that never existed in the first place, and kept telling us she lost money she never had. Anyway, this was really scary, but as for now she’s alive and doing well, fighting cancer and wanting to travel and have fun every moment. She has a young soul and some tough spirit
@pythriox5942
@pythriox5942 5 месяцев назад
Yo. I know its been a year but are you able to give an update on what happened? I hope your grandma is alright.
@alien3200
@alien3200 Месяц назад
Womp womp
@johnturner3455
@johnturner3455 3 года назад
His art portrays more raw, human struggle than anything else i've seen.......if souls exist beyond death, I cling onto the hope that somehow he knows his final creative breaths conveyed something so impactful.
@voltagebinary1006
@voltagebinary1006 3 года назад
i wish i could get my hands on one of his works, i think theyre amazing
@punkmonkey880
@punkmonkey880 3 года назад
@ Jack Corman: Nicely said. Soul *does* exist and he *does* know.
@thomast7748
@thomast7748 3 года назад
Yes Punk, and you have proof to support that. People are so dumb.
@whenwhen2284
@whenwhen2284 3 года назад
@@thomast7748 what are you going on about
@punkmonkey880
@punkmonkey880 3 года назад
@@thomast7748 Uhhhh....yes Thomas, yes I do have the proof to support that. Depending on, of course, your definition of proof. But you are correct...there are some people that are quite *ignorant*.
@zelphie
@zelphie 3 года назад
Alzheimer’s is like- My biggest fear ever I can’t imagine forgetting everyone and how awful it is to forget everything
@user-fu8rg4ov5o
@user-fu8rg4ov5o 3 года назад
Hey it’s alright, god is with you, whenever I think of him when I’m worried, sad angry, my mood lightens up and I get happy 😀
@paigecarlson1742
@paigecarlson1742 3 года назад
@@user-fu8rg4ov5o if a god won't cure a horrible disease like Alzheimer's, even allowing/creating the deteriorating condition in the first place, then why should I be happy about them?
@gat0anonimo
@gat0anonimo 3 года назад
I once had to do a work for class, it was about mental diseases. Me and my group decided to make Alzheimer's. We got the best results we could, but I'd rather haven't done it, because now, I can't stop remembering the sympthoms and everytime I have a single sympthom for a single time, I have an intense panic inside my mind. I'm one of that people who worry too much about their health. The only reason why I don't completely collapse it's because I know I'm only 12 years old. Which is very stupid of me because I don't even need to be 12 years old to prove that I don't have Alzheimer's, because in the first place, I wouldn't remember the symphtoms.
@gat0anonimo
@gat0anonimo 3 года назад
@Flaken Mask stfu disrespectful
@TruckStored
@TruckStored 3 года назад
you have 1 in 9 chance of getting alzheimer's the chance will slightly increase when your older, to prevent it try being healthy
@halsmail
@halsmail 2 месяца назад
I studied art under William for a year at the Blackheath School of Art in Blackheath in the 1990's. He was such a good and kind teacher and very gentle with critism. As our school library was poor, William would bring his personal art books to explain the finer points. May he rest in peace.
@teresarayburn4501
@teresarayburn4501 2 года назад
my mother was diagnosed with dememtia that led onto altzheimers. During her last years with it, i could never get it past me that something so awful could cause my mother to lose all senses, reasoning, thinking, and more due to this. It was that awful, extreme, hideous, and terrifying.
@MNNski
@MNNski 3 года назад
I watched my grandmother go this way. If it ever happened to me I'd take a nice stroll off a tall building.
@valentinmitterbauer4196
@valentinmitterbauer4196 3 года назад
"To a dear person. To a dear dear dear" This were the last words (translated into english) my grandma wrote before she forgot how to. She still had been able to read, however, but i don't know how much she really understood. She continued to live for several years. To the last day we made that she was able to live in her house, because she always expressed her fear from nursing homes.
@dedsec6072
@dedsec6072 3 года назад
@Will Brown Jesus, no food and water plus Alzheimers, that sounds like a terrible idea,
@machoman655
@machoman655 3 года назад
I hope you all stay safe and stay strong, I'll be praying for ye all.
@hamburgerhamburger4064
@hamburgerhamburger4064 3 года назад
@Will Brown maybe. Allow, like a little, then do it just don’t forget?
@sooootruuue
@sooootruuue 3 года назад
My great grandad actually did that and he had alzeihmers sadly
@Beanbandana99
@Beanbandana99 3 года назад
I am terrified of this disease. To know it runs in my family that I have lost family members to it is even scarier. Just to know I have a pretty high chance of getting it myself. One of the worst ways to go.
@yupyup8305
@yupyup8305 3 года назад
Is it really genetic? I thought it was a prion isn't this similar to a virus?
@australium7374
@australium7374 3 года назад
@@yupyup8305 it can be acquired but genetically it’s much more common. Also unfortunately it’s more common in specific ethnic groups. Alzheimer’s/dementia is horrific and I hope it is eradicated
@hskatkat
@hskatkat 3 года назад
I’m in the same boat. Everyone in my family ends up getting it if they live long enough and I love my brain and what it can do. I make jokes about my future now, but I know that once I get there, it won’t be funny anymore. It seems like childhood memories last the longest with Alzheimer’s so hopefully those memories are happy enough to get me through it.
@Ar-yp6nh
@Ar-yp6nh 3 года назад
Quick question. If you write all your memories down on a book, then get Alzheimers, and then read all the things you wrote, does that help a bit? Or at least so that you know that you had those memories? Because I’m a very, very forgetful person who would forget things unless I keep repeating it to myself, and writing down things and reading them again helps. Sorry if it’s a dumb question, I’m just really curious.
@darkusterror
@darkusterror 3 года назад
@@Ar-yp6nh The thing with Alzheimer's is that it isn't just a memory affliction, it afflicts rational thought as well. At end stage Alzheimer's, you might read that book and be completely confident that whatever was in it wasn't written by you, and no-one would be able to convince you otherwise.
@BabylonGames798
@BabylonGames798 4 месяца назад
A lot of people I noticed are looking at it as though his technique is diminishing. I don't see that. At some points, his technique becomes more simplified, or abstract, but I don't think it ever hits a point of being bad technique. As his disease progresses, he uses different levels of simplicity & abstractness to help represent how he feels, and how he sees himself. Whether that's an incomplete drawing representing his now incomplete mind, abstract colors to show confusion, an incomplete anguished man, or in the last case, when the illness entered it latest stages, all he saw in his mind was a swirling pit of despair, sucking away everything he knew. For as long as he remembered he was supposed to draw self portraits, he did what he wanted to do, and he did it incredibly well. Truly a talented artist, & brilliant mind.
@Cutiepattoties
@Cutiepattoties 4 месяца назад
I watched this really stoned and faded and I was paranoid for the rest of the night but now re watching this again this is honestly sad.
@millybells
@millybells 3 года назад
I’ve just found out my mum is in the first stages of this terrible condition , I will never leave her and be her best friend to the very end . God takes everyone home in the end💐
@tersus4967
@tersus4967 3 года назад
That is horrible. Best wishes for your mother and you. Can't imagine how you feel now...😔
@warioapexm5905
@warioapexm5905 3 года назад
...fuck.
@gat0anonimo
@gat0anonimo 3 года назад
If my mom/dad had Alzheimer's, I would fall in the worst depression you could think of...
@mnep5
@mnep5 2 года назад
😭
@The_German_reich
@The_German_reich 2 года назад
I'll pray for you
@MrAnon00
@MrAnon00 3 года назад
My grandpa died with Alzheimer's... It was terrible. He often wasn't able to give more than a short response near the end... there were moments where it was like he was in a trance, then he'd sometimes have a brief moment of lucidity, say a few things, then slip into a confusion... The worst ones were when he would have a forlorn look... It was like he had an idea of what was happening, and wanted to respond, but couldn't; like he was trapped in his own body.
@boogermooger
@boogermooger 3 года назад
Why am I sad..
@kake2978
@kake2978 3 года назад
:(
@ryy1704
@ryy1704 3 года назад
That means you will have it when you're older.
@ryy1704
@ryy1704 3 года назад
That means you will have it when you're older.
@lemongrab9044
@lemongrab9044 3 года назад
@@ryy1704 it really doesn’t and don’t say crap like that
@derpkipper
@derpkipper Месяц назад
Thank you for this shortform informative video. Gonna show it to my mom, who works in a nursing home...heres to hoping it can be used to educate CNAs in empathy training!❤
@faithwotring1195
@faithwotring1195 2 года назад
This is equally eery and heart wrenching-to watch someone gradually lose themselves so completely. You can feel his confusion and the feeling of being out of place and lost in his own life and memories.
@FRGTTNMMR
@FRGTTNMMR 3 года назад
I have a great great grandfather who has Alzehimers, and he's 99. He was born on May 1st, 1922. He's forgotten almost everything, except for me, and his dog. He can also play guitar, since he has since he was around 7. He lives a few hours down the road, and the only things he can currently say is "I love you" and "Rodney" - Rodney is his dog.
@artsy_poo8259
@artsy_poo8259 2 года назад
Thats super sad and sweet the fact he can still remember his dogs name 😭😭😭I hope everything is ok
@vinnymontgomery9013
@vinnymontgomery9013 2 года назад
He must be super sweet if he can still say, "I love you"
@doctorbuttons
@doctorbuttons 2 года назад
aww
@emingmann1400
@emingmann1400 2 года назад
How's he now? He's about to turn 100 in about 2 days
@teamblue2431
@teamblue2431 2 года назад
I hope he had a good 100th birthday.
@harsarligan6665
@harsarligan6665 2 года назад
This is scarier than any horror movie ever could be
@derwastl
@derwastl 2 года назад
Yes 😨
@muffins8566
@muffins8566 2 года назад
Got chills
@yourbiologicalmother7569
@yourbiologicalmother7569 2 года назад
Because it’s real
@Zi7ar21
@Zi7ar21 2 года назад
@@yourbiologicalmother7569 I was about to say that
@Purzify
@Purzify 2 года назад
It's worse to say goodbye to someone who is still alive.
@shawnndixon5254
@shawnndixon5254 2 года назад
my great grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's in 2003, he was a REME engineer in WWII. i was born in 2002.
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