How To Redirect Negative Self-Talk To Your Favour 

"Kintsugi" is an interesting Japanese concept. Back then, when pottery breaks, the fragments would be glued together by gold. But then people realize that the fixed broken pottery has this beautiful golden patern that is imposible to acchieve with a perfect pot.

Having kids with only the one specific goal to get an old-age provision and expecting them to provide for them, in my opinion, is very unethical. Kids are not means to an end. Life is such a special and precious gift and everyone should have the right to lead their life as they please and make their own decisions without the pressure to please others and their expectations. That's not living, that's functioning because you are born and already have a purpose. Sartre for example says you are existing first and have to create your "essence" by living your life. You don't have it from the beginning. You draft yourself into the future. On another note: The souls games are known for their challenging character. I think, people are used to very forgiving video games where you get through everything as long as you smash the buttons hard enough. I feel like it is similar to modern film. Games and movies are so fast paced nowadays and people's attention span and patience is very minimal, so maybe they don't want to put the effort into learning the move sets of the bosses and figure out the environment. They are taught to win and that they are the greatest by default from a young age and often times there's no tolerance of frustration. I witness this with the majority of my students every day. And I think that is the root of the problem. Why they feel like a failure at some point in their lives. Because they are celebrated for everything they do and don't have to deal with frustration and actually WORK for things. And when they get older, they realize failure is part of it all but they don't know how to cope. And that it is ok to not be able to be good at things right away. Well... that was my Saturday essay. K bai.

' difficulty is the point ' this uplifts me so much to keep going, thank you for making these videos, much love and gratitude to you ❤

I've always thought that life and art is like dark souls, but never occurred to me that I can "play it" with the same mindset. You've opened my eyes. I've been hollow for too long.

I really related to the Girl from china with the overwhelming pressure, I live in the Philippines and the same sentiment is shared here about art, I'm lucky to have parents that are supportive of me (Though not from the start), but wherever I go I always feel like I get looked down on, made less of a human by peers and people, unknowingly that sort of pressure pushed me to become better to prove them wrong. this was a good reminder of failure and difficult Adam especially during these times with the industry and etc. Always been a delight to listen to you

You cannot understand how perfect the timing of this video is for me. I have been unraveling these things in my life for years, and the most recent battle of finding the foundation of my faulty paradigm of self. Thank you for the encouragement.

*hears bayle and igor mentioned* CURRRSE YOU BAAAAYLE

I'm also come from a traditional Chinese background with a fairly "traditional Asian dad" . Just to be clear, I don't hate him, he did his best to rise me and two sisters up and I grateful for that. But back in middleschool, he completely broke my heart once when he torn all my silly "artworks" to shred and gave me once hell of a ass whooping because i brought home real bad grades. Fast forward, now I able to support my wife and kid with a 2D artist job, guess this is my own "Imma show you that's you're wrong, old man" rebellion and for whatever it is I'm proud of that. P/s : CURRRRRRRSEEEE YOUUU BAYYYYLEEEEEE.

I fail time and time again but i see it as a state of things and try step outside and look at it without judging it. Sometimes it is hard when it looks like that failure happened on a step on the only path to success.

Edison Quote: “I didn't fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”

I am generally amazed at you as a person - how thoughtful and kind you are. And jokingly, I am also amazed with your timing, since I've been dealing with a lack of kindness and cruelity towards myself. There are some things about your vide othat I do find very insightful, but there are also some things that contradicts my experiences so far. For most people, my comments ends here. If you'd like to read about my struggle with toxic thoughts, you may keep reading. First of all, I don't know exactly what's the source of my problem (I can have some leads though), but I am fairly sure it wasn't due to my parents. They were supportive enough, and even if weren't always on the same boat, I've always felt loved and appreciated by them. My hypothesis about source of my negative thinking and self-steem problem, is that it is due me observing other people, thinking they are amazing and wanting to be as amazing as them. So, I guess it starts with inspiration, and then with disappointment, since I have no abillity to become like them. And then discovering that even my learning/growing rate is subpar, no matter what and how I try it. There always were people who achieved much more, with seemingly less effort and definitely less stress. As if it was nothing to them. Comparing to them, I was always shit and I felt like shit. I feel like it to this day. This might be the source of my negative-self talk and lack of self-compassion. On a side note, due to that, I tend to be straight up mean to people I consider worth even less than myself - as in, worth less than 0. I know this is a hugely toxic trait and I hope to one day fix it. While I cannot deny that one's mindset is very important to achieving growth (in many areas), I don't think I can delude myself with thinking that it will magically fix my below-average learing rate. I am biologically vired like that, and if my experiences are of any indicaiton, I cannot expect that to change. Looking back at my art, the best piece I have done is from 2018 and it is essentially a ultra instinct Shaggy meme (one of fanart pieces that were created around that year). Now we have 2024, 6 years later and not only I haven't produced anything better, but my "avarage" drawing haven't improved all that much either. Granted, I wasn't doing as much focused practice as I could, due to mainly focusing on doing commissions, but still, in 6 years I expected at the very least SOMETHING. And now I'm at the state when doing cursed cheap commissions drained me and I lost much passion not only for subject matter, but also art. It is recoveable though. I am writing this all to convey basically this: I know how it is to achieve success after struggling. But I don't know how it feels in art, since everything I've done up to now art-wise is a failure. To not be all doom and gloom, I got a new job recently and I am thinking of severely limiting number of commissions I accept or ditch them completely. Maybe that will give me some more time and motivation to work on my art fundamentals. Speaking of overcoming difficulties and harships, I think I know what you mean, but I do disagree with using videogames as an example. Videogames can be hard, true, but on the other hand, they are designed to be fun and rewarding. Life's not like that. Thank you for managing to read it that far. Have a good day.

Been a while Adam. This came at the right time thanks man.

How funny is that I came to your channel seeking for your calm voice and a video to ease my temper after starting AGAIN for the third time now an annoying, veeeery long and painfull part of a piece I'm doing at work. I could'nt find the right method to do it proprely during 2 days now since I'm not use to work with vectorial tools... I think I got it right this time, but looord that was a lot of effort to draw bunch of circles! I think I've drawn thousands of them by now.. finger crossed I get the mural done by tonight! Thank you, once again your video is SO on point! Your topics seem always synchronized with my art journey which alway make my days!

Adam, you read my thoughts, serendipitous that I should happen to peruse RU-vid just in time for this. While painting no less!

Big thanks for this one Cap'n. Exactly the motivational reset I needed to hear today

every sentence you said resonated with me and i'm sure with many others, thank you for that! have a good day/night Adam 😊

Needed this. Thank you so much.

Thanks needed this 👌

Hay Adam, thank you so much for this! It is a really heartfelt and important message to all artists, as stability is not usually guaranteed and perseverance coupled with a great support system is what makes us go through most challenges. Just to share a little bit of my own story, In college, I studied coding and then animation after some years and all that time I was always questioned about it and was always recommended to go for "office" jobs instead of this, because this is a hard life, even after I got jobs in the animation industry. There have been at least a couple times when I had less than 50 bucks at some point and thought about quitting art and just go for a "normal" job instead, and that would be ok if there were no other options, but I was able to land a job in animation that would get me through even if just for some months. Nowadays I'm working on cutscenes for a game, and I don't know how life will be in maybe 2 months. but I do love all of this, from learning new things, to getting to know new people, to sharing my own and other peoples messages in these projects and so much more and that, along with at least 2 friends that have always supported my journey, from its lows and highs, is what got me through my whole life, but most importantly for the past 4 years since I got my first job in animation. As usual with your videos, this one was very touching and this is a good way to help and motivate fellow artists that are having doubts on their journeys, art or otherwise, as your words could be the light for some travelers in the fog. Thank you again Adam! ✨

thank you internet art dad for the wonderful advice!!!

Perfect timing!

Dude your content brings me so much joy, focus and peace while working on my art. Thank you man.

This helps today of all days where someone randomly called me ugly. Made me question all the progress I've made toward improving my self-esteem, but this was a timely boost. I know that didn't specifically have to do with doubting myself artistically, but still, thanks.

Thanks for this~ really needed it~

Yes, difficulties make us grow. It also shows us our direction in life. We have the moment to choose whether the pain is worth it and become better or the pain redirects us somewhere else where we are supposed to be. It is incredible how often we internalize our hardships. Thank you for another insightful video.

I finished ER dlc yesterday and hated every second of the last boss fight. My heartbeat was higher then ever, I was holding my breath waiting for the right moment to attack. And in the last moment I died but managed to make my last attack killing the boss. That fight is painful but it was totally worth it.

Baayle was a fantastic episode of your stream! Like I said that night, it was a masterclass on patience and determination. In everything, hard work brings the sweetest rewards.

Every deep and serious topic you touch - resonates immensely, thank you so much Adam

Thanks! I needed to hear this.

"Why are people down voting difficulty?" Because, for some reason, those people expected rewards with minimal effort and care. Perhaps they're raised or "brainrotted" their minds with senseless stuff on the internet and/or spoiled lifestyles. I'm currently managing my anger thanks to therapy, researching, & exercising. Of course it's gonna be difficult, since even the littlest of things ticked me off. The world doesn't own me anything. *Work hard, study well, and eat & sleep plenty.* Nothing is impossible. Ight, nuf said, imma go eat some fruit.

I love you so much Adam

Thank you Adam❤

This video hit hard. There’s that word again- “hard”. All I know is that if I give up, it ends. And when it ends I’m still stuck doing “normal” job to pay bills and look after my kids. So might as well keep learning to draw coz I love art no matter how hard it is. Nice shout out for Atlas Benighted- I assume he is the one you were referring to regarding his reactions to music scores. He is one of the best at that. Probably the best at that.

Kinda crazy that I'm going through this whole realization and getting a much better mental health and ergo josh, samdoesarts and you post similar videos about this at a similar time, this video was awesome, for real, things are starting to fall into place in my mind xD

You’re awesome Adam. That is all.

thank you for the precious words

thank you Adam, you are aces.

You know what's funny? I recently started Elden Ring (I am completly new to soulslike games) and I knew it would be "hard" and I would fail because that's the main thing about the game - to fail und try anew - my complete approach changed. Where I would have been angry about dying more than a few times because I played like a maniac and smashing buttons, I am much more deliberate with my actions and trying to actually learn the game. And I realized I am not doing that with many games (BG3 doesnt count because I know the rules due to playing DnD). And I was so shocked that I needed to play Elden Ring to realize that it's a blessing to die and make mistakes and be able to try again. That's when I realized that Elden Ring is one of those few games to encourage you to make mistakes and learn from them, which is a good thing. We should all make more mistakes, trying out difficult things and not beating ourselves up about it. Because THATS LIFE, literally. Failing, trying again. Life is difficult. And we will fail. That's so refreshing, I never thought I would like Elden Ring and now I have to peel myself off of my playstation.

Never have i ever been this early

Was very happy to find your channel, its a welcoming blend of Art tute and life chat...I finally started my Art channel (literally yesterday,lol) anyway, happy to find ya *subd :)

If there's something that this whole AI situation has taught me, it's that the moment art stops being hard, I'll probably stop painting. Because somehow, it is that process and that struggle and that journey that makes it worthwhile. Yes, it's painful. Yes, it's hard. No, it isn't always fun. But it isn't fun I'm trying to get out of it. It's meaning. And damn is it meaningful.

So true. Im African and have to support my parents.

Good morning, Sensei

Beautifully said, Adam ❤️ I think the Opera singer's RU-vid channel is MarcoMeatball 😊

I always watch each of your new videos in search of that thing that breaks the cycle of hatred on myself that my parents gave me. I have to live with that look of disapproval, every day. Professionals have confirmed and told me that these are not my thoughts, but theirs. Years pass, I really really want to become an artist but every time I try I feel pain, guilt and shame. I'd love so much to be able to believe you, that I can break it. But every day, no matter what I try, this feeling keeps set on stone. I wish I had a teacher like you earlyer in life, when I was still able to believe... Inside me, I can't find that hope anymore, but for some reason I keep watching ang listening to your monologues thinking "maybe this time". And yes, this time I felt like you are pointing directly at me. Every detail speaks to me. "this is you. you can fix how you feel". But I can't find the key. I admire you and I love you so much for using your time to try to help people in my situation. I look for that day when I can send you a message and tell you "fuck, you were right". But for now I have to tell you "I'm sorry". For today is not that day

You do understand though that not everybody loves the SOuls games... I like the design of the games but HATE the boss battles most of the time. They just don't fullfill me when I win them even after trying countless times, often having hurting hands after that. Don't know, I just don't get that feeling of reward many seem to get. The only FromSoft game I really enjoyed is Bloodborne. But I guess it's just because I don't care for the souls games in general, they often feel like time wasters, I prefer my "easy" Nintendo games haha In art too, I feel like I am never achieving anything because even though I have improved everything still looks so ugly. Not knowing if the struggles are worth it in the end, aka producing art that has a message and doesn't look bad, that feel as if I understand anythign at all about it... just hurts. In comparison to the Souls games, art matters much to me, but my lack of skill and slow improvement (and I know that I am extremly bad for the time I have invested) make it hard to believe in myself.

Now I want to find the soundtrack for the game.

You know, I think I’m not an artist, because I never had any challenges with my family or society.

suffering doesnt make anyone stronger it just makes them suffer. i think this is one of adam's weaker videos

😎

I think the takeaway here is to be open minded and courageous towards your fears. Not a masochist who can't tell the difference.

39:00

I hear you about the challenges.. unfortunately, the current DEI stuff is trying to take all challenges and personal growth opportunities away... Making folks into perpetual children... I took the road of "normal stable" as my parents refused to support my music and art - saying I wasn't good enough... Though I have a "good stable" job.. I never left my music and art behind.. and am somewhat successful... But I always wonder where I would be if I gave art and music 100 percent...

Why did America go to the moon? Not because it is easy, but BECAUSE IT IS HARD. And of course some political whatever stuff but still, that speech by JFK lives rent free in my head. And I'm not even American lol!

Wow i didnt know Elden ring get that bad of a review. I get why people crying at sekiro difficulty (this game is hard goddamnit), but elden ring? there is so much you can do to cheese these boss. edit: My theory is maybe people allergic to READ the description of an item and trying to comprehend how this games work. If that the case we are doomed as a society. I blame this to social media.

Souls games are hard, complaining about that is a bit like complaining about cheese on a pizza. If you don't want difficulty, don't play a souls game... Eat something else. However the difficulty lies not in the thing itself. The difficulty lies in believing one can never overcome the challenges. It doesn't matter how hard something is, or is percieved, if you don't believe you can ever overcome it, you will quit. Adam, when you engaged that dragon in Elden Ring, you knew perfectly well you would beat it at some point because facing challenges is something you've done a lot. It didn't matter if it would take 10, 50 or a 100 times. The pernitious thing lies in thinking ''I'd never be able to do that''. This resilience basically only comes from proving to yourself over and over again that you are able to do hard things. I don't have this belief and practically quit art as a result. Even though I like it.

Souls games are hard, my brother in christ(all people saying its hard) elden ring is my first soulsborne losing and then winning is nice get good

hope that comment in support of AI was worth it

I have no desire to paint or copy your style in fact I don’t like your art meaning it is just not what I personally like. Even though you are successful at what you have achieved. I don’t paint or draw for the monetary value of Art. And I am not saying this to be critical of you. For instance I hate Picasso and have no desire to paint like him or all of the other abstract arts But I had this experience of someone trying to make me paint acrylic paintings 2 4x5 foot paintings for 1200 dollars and then they kept trying to get me to paint just what they wanted because I wanted to make money with and for them so I bought and have over 4 thousand dollars worth of art materials including what I had already collected over the last 20 years Now I have all this stuff and I don’t want to paint or draw anything no matter how much I want to do it for my Self I like the classic painting style of water colorist and I used to draw and paint pretty well but I have never had any art instruction or schooling other than me being a self taught artist. I actually have a studio in my own room now and I have a block because of the way I was treated not only growing up but specifically in the last 4 years I am 64 now and I want to do it for myself but I have not drawn anything in about ten years and I have every thing I need to do it but I’m physically and mentally worn out I’ve developed arthritis in my hands and I am also bipolar 2 and doctors put me on medication Benzodiazepines specifically that are almost killing me now I have been on the medication for 13 years and now my doctors want me to completely quit taking them I really feel like just dying now I’m stuck at home by myself I live on disability and I live with my brother who really doesn’t give a shit about any thing but himself and even though I have all the stuff to draw and paint with professional quality materials I’m just not able to do it right now. I have been watching your channel for a bout ten years now I like your tips for artists I had the stuff to do digital art but I found that it was really not satisfying as me doing it in the real world I was born in 1960 I was a sign Artist for almost 25 years watercolor painting is what I’m passionate about and I like to draw realistic things nature and the female form I like Chinese style of art also I do like your channel because of how you care about other artists that is why I listen to you I’m too old to do everything now so I can only do what I like for myself and my interests would I like to be successful at it yes absolutely and am I going to quit trying no not until the day I die but I have put so much pressure on myself to do this I have had to stop and just get well mentally and physically and I don’t hate your work and I like you so don’t take it that way Thank you for everything you give to others inspirations Experience and your self which I think is really quite Nice 😁🙃

The sheer amount of discrimination against straight white men in the creative industry has encouraged me to be better than those people. (It's not very hard.)

It's like coming from my voice