As I Lay Dying: Misery Evolving - The Story of Tim Lambesis & As I Lay Dying 

“I’m just as much the problem as the man behind bars. He did with his business what I do in my heart.” - August Burns Red I’m no better person than Tim. He’s a struggling human soul like all of us. He’s trying. I’m trying. We’re all trying.

you'll never hear or read a popular mainstream artist talk like this. That is why metal is such beautiful music. Dark music for dark times to show you the way to the light.

" I believe time can heal, but some of that time needs to be spent actively trying to fix what's damaged." Wow very well said

this is so sad alexa play Within Destruction

This is the heaviest breakdown I've ever heard. Much love

Tim seems to be one of the few people that our "prison system" helped somehow. Good for him.

I am 39yrs old, and with an initial diagnosis of type 1 bipolar disorder, ADHD, and OCD in my late teens, early 20’s. In my supreme arrogance I truly believed that I was an adult now, and the heavy medication I’d been on in the past was what made me “weak.” What I never saw, or cared enough to see, was me outright destroying all ties to the few people that were crazy enough to stay behind. I was married at age 32, and my daughter was born soon after. As my little girl was diagnosed at age 2 with mid spectrum Autism, I was in denial and picked up a serious drinking problem, which interacted with my mood stabilizers and the antipsychotic I was on real well. On top of that my wife was going through postpartum depression, and that left literally everything on my shoulders. Still listening to bands like Aftershock, Shadows Fall (when Phil sang for them), Torn Asunder, As The Sun Sets, Killswitch Engage (the Jesse years)....etc allowed me to find solace in the words written by others.Then a friend suggested I pickup a CD “Beneath The Encasing of Ashes” and I was a fan ever since. AILD performing at their first Metal Fest was awesome to see live! Fast forward to Tim’s dark years and incarceration, I couldn’t help but be disgusted by “fans” of AILD who were SO judgmental of a man who was at the bottom of the barrel. I can try to understand how his band mates felt, but only they knew how they were hurt. To anyone who wants to judge Tim for an action he would never repeat, and after all the positive things he’s done to atone for his past mistakes, I say only this: your day will come when you f@ck something up big time. I hope you don’t run into anyone as equally judgmental as yourself. And if years from now, when people continue to throw your mistakes in your face, remember that you’re being judged as harshly as you did to someone else

Fuck this was beautiful. So glad they decided to just be transparent and lay everything out. It takes courage. Made me cry.

In 2006, Tim signed a $1 bill for me. In 2010 I had "Only Through Struggle, Have I Found Rest" tattooed on my arms. In 2011 I saw AILD on the Decas tour. This band and their music has influenced me in such positive ways. I have never felt alone because of them.

I absolutely love this. AILD has helped me through suicide, drug addiction, prison and depression. We all have a purpose. Thank you AILD

Realizing the band is done and coming back to this and it truly fuckin sucks. Had so much hope when this originally was released.

I didn't think I would ever change my negative opinion about Tim, but the fact that he's become an addiction/mental health counselor is amazing to me.

He can never retrace his steps, undo the gruesome things he has done, but he can start off on a new path, paint the way to a new life of joy, kindness and helpfulness. Great Tim and band 👏👏👏

Everyone deserves forgiveness it is during our darkest and hard times that we can find forgiveness healing and compassion for one another I love this band

I remember backin the day when I saw the news about the arrest of Tim and the indictments just didn't make any sense. At all. I tried to understand why he did those things and I realise that have more behind that bad face. He was struggling with a real problem, just as I was and I am now, but we still responsable for our actions and he carried those feelings with him in all his sentence days. With no lies in my words, I passed a lot of years with anger and hatred about him. After I had a sincere conversation with one of my friends, he explained that I would have to leave it in the past and forgive him for anything he has done, so I began to listen to their music again, and it helped me a lot through my mental disease. Now, I can thank him and the rest of the band for everything they did for me and for all his fans in the world. Thank you, Tim, for being this strong person and a man who aknowledged his own weaknesses. Thank you for everything.

People are human and sometimes we don't see whats going on with the people we love until its too late. Its never too late until you die for change and to ask for help the only shame is when you don't ask and end up back in that dark lonely place. This was sad yet happy & it tells us all people are human. Whether you choose to forgive is totally up to you but hate burns a hole that festers your whole life. I am so glad you all are finding your way with love & forgiveness. It makes you better and real men.

the narration already sounds like lyrics to the next AILD album

I can't put into words how meaningful this band has been to my life. Since i was a depressed Schoolboy and found relief on AILD Lyrics, that brought sence to all that pain i was passing through. I initially loved them for the impact of their music in my life. Now i love them twice because of that harsh process of healing, forgiving and restoration. That's why i take this message within my heart.

Without hearing "frail words collapse " I don't who I would be today, so thank you Tim for the words and messages in that album. And more importantly thank you for owning up for you did and changing your life around, you as well as the whole band have shown us the power of forgiveness and love. Great too see the gang back stronger than ever

completely amazing, as a recovering addict, to hear the heart of probobly my most favorite band and vocalist since 2005 a band that inspired me in so many ways, through my journey, its shows that his heart is pure and its AMAZING Brother... i am so happy for Him/ them all...

That really moved me! He is a better human now and knows whats important in life! Thanks for sharing the story! As he says at the end: there is hope for everyone...

This hit home. I struggle with addiction, depression, panic disorder as well as post tour depression. Watching this has opened my eyes and has made me decide to seek help for not just the well being of my family, but myself. Never be ashamed of your past. Instead, learn from it to build a new and better path for your future! Thanks Tim!!!!

This touches my heart very deep. Past trauma, mistakes, self destructive behavior, because of this video, I will watch it over and over and over and apply priceless advice from things like this we NEED to hear, I love this band so much more now.

Everyone has the power to change. The question is, do they WANT to change? Thank you for everything you guys do, As I Lay Dying. Much love.

I'm so so glad the Tim turned his life around and I'm sure that he has learnt by his mistakes and that's what's important,and also im so happy about As I Lay Dying reuniting and making music again. And thank you to all the people in Heart Support..keep going and stay strong guys

I forgive you, Tim. I am going through addiction as well. It is active. It sucks. I don't know if I'll live through it. You have lived through it, and you've recovered. I pray I can do the same. Thank you, Jesus, for helping me. As I lay Dying is my favorite metalcore band of all time. Metal will not die here.

Dark moments like this really build people, I believe AILD has some pretty sick work coming as they rise up from this, still love you tim! Still love AILD!!💜

I just ordered their book and I'm willing to read it thoroughly, I love every individual in AILD and give thanks for saving me in my darkest times. Awakened has helped me through so much and I appreciate that album so much! Thank you guys ❤

"As I Lay Dying" has a new meaning: could feel the same as those who are dying. Welcome back, Tim. Blessings!

This video is what I needed, when Tim went away I started my downward spiral and now today I see Tim back in a band that I never saw accepting him I am now feeling hopelessness.

I'm still a fan. I grew up listening to As I Lay Dying. Your music brings me back to a simpler time.

I felt as if they open their hearts and let me in. Thank you for this video. Listening to your voices and your message has been like an ASMR experience for my soul. We are all just souls healing, searching and pouring unto one another.

Tim, Thanks for sharing. You watched your life fall apart and then built a greater foundation.

Its so good to have you back tim im a big fan of as i lay dying stay strong dont let the haters get you down you made a mistake and did your time the fans of as i lay dying like me are behind you and have your back cant wait to see wat you and the band as i lay dying do im loving the new songs my own grave and redefined metal forever as i lay dying forever 🤘🤘

Now I freaking understand how meaningful My Own Grave and Redefined are 😄. This coming album will be sick!

Spent years playing music with you and AILD. I'm glad you got through your demons. I guess alot of us didn't wanna believe what was going on. I'm super stoked your out of prison and you and the guys were able to ammend your relationships. I miss you guys. Best wishes Tim and to all my old brothers on the road. Love y'all be safe

This message is so powerful. And that terrier is adorable.

Mistakes are always going to be made, by each and every single human being, at some point(s) throughout our short time living on this Earth. Its inevitable to never make at least one during that time. Some will be big and some small, but either way and no matter what damage has been done, time will move forward like it always does and it all just ends up turning into what we call "the past" and thats where it all should be kept. The best part is that your past does not have to define who you choose to be right here, right now. So forgive yourself and forgive others, and just consider moving forward and bettering yourself or your life. Tim is living proof and so many others out there as well. Much love to you all!

"Sometimes we have to watch our whole lives fall apart, Before we can rebuild them again, A greater foundation!" Now more then ever ... Love you guys

The epic music and cinematography really made me feel for them

512 people know not the healing or the freedom that comes through forgiveness... This video is truly remarkable. God bless you guys.

Everytime I hear Nick talk about this, I almost break down. He is such a beautiful and genuine soul.

being on the other side of this, i thought i was in the right to not forgive the man that started it... but now i see the folly of my ways, as well; i realize today my path was aimed for hell. i thank God for all of you, regardless what you had to do, to get there, to acknowledge truth... i thank the stars above, i am grateful for this love. THANK YOU HEART SUPPORT, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US

I know that not everyone will accept Tim now because of what he did I understand but through the steps he’s taking is a good start and just praying for him and show love like Jesus did. Honestly I’m proud that he’s taking responsibility and seeing to be a better man and those who support him and give him a second chance let’s just be positive even at all the negative things some people might say let’s just be the ones to go forward much love

This was so beautiful, raw and honest. Mental illness is a fucking bitch and it has nearly destroyed my life but videos like these keep me going and fighting!! AILD💖💖💖🤘🤘🤘 Stay strong, keep fighting, smiling and never give up everyone!!! You’re strong then any illness, Disorder, addiction, hate, anger and will rise above always!!

Somewhere lost in my house, I have a ticket. Signed by Tim during a show near my city. I told him he helped me through some dark times, and when I looked into his eyes it seemed he felt nothing. No expression or acknowledgement of me or my words. So I took my autograph and after a great show, walked back to my car with discomfort. A bittersweet ending. One week later, he was sentenced to prison. And then it all made sense. We must all learn to forgive and give people second chances. "We are not the same, as I'd hope to show, there is a better way if we just let go. We are not, we are not the same."

Awesome band that's always been one of my favorites and I'm glad they're back together and worked everything out with Tim. I'm glad they're using their past negative experience with Tim as a platform to create a positive one now. It's nice to hear their story of how they overcame all that they went through and how they're back to being good friends again and are now promoting help through this channel and website to those who may need it. Kudos to AILD you guys showed what forgiveness is truly about and I'm super excited for the new album and hope to see you guys performing live in the near future.

I love As I Lay Dying till death.

I cried throughout this entire video. While I have never been incarcerated, I too have hurt friends and family by past behavior. This is just awesome

What a history this band has. I think their best work is yet to come.

Wow this video is powerful and their mission to help other people dealing with struggles made me tear up a bit. I do not struggle myself but I know people who do. This touched my heart and made me love this band even more. They have a mission, a purpose and are backing up their statements with actions by helping out other people who can’t even help themselves. What a great impactful message they’re sending out.

i come from the future. and well. uh. it aint pretty. lol

Everyone screws up eventually. It is what we do after and how we change because of it what defines us. This man screwed it up really hard. But there is redemption for those who are able to be humble, correct course and try to be a better human being. I feel respect to that. Also, Shaped By Fire is a beast of an album. Keep it up.

I never lost respect for Tim. He did what he did and got through the consequences. I sure did miss AILD while he was away and I still love their music, they're the band that got me into Metalcore.

Forgiveness is so hard to give sometimes, especially when it comes to forgiving yourself, but it is possible. Tim said it best years prior and these words have stuck with me since the day the song released, "Only through struggle, have i found rest" all we can do is push through and remember we are not alone. We have the strength of others and of Jesus

I’m no stranger to darkness and although I’ve emerged relatively unscathed, it still remains a part of my being. We’re human beings whom travel this world with little to no idea of what it means and it’s not uncommon for us to engage in behaviors that others deem unacceptable. Although my affliction was different than hiring assassins, I get it man. Now onto important matters. When the fuck is the new album dropping? The two new songs shred and the lyrics are powerful. I’ve checked ASILD on Spotify and Google and there are no hints when it’s going to release. Case Manage away man (I work in a psychiatric facility ironically) but don’t forget to let the fans know when to expect this record.

I've got tears in my eyes man. I'm so glad they made this video and were so transparent about their experiences. I knew it would hit the feels, but it really hit a lot more than I expected to hear about the suffering of some of my biggest heroes. Now, I've got a lot of people and celebrities that I heavily admire, but most of them have their lives a lot more wide open and accessible to public view. I've loved AILD since I was in middle school...like alot...I had all their albums, I spent so much money on their merch, I had posters all over my wall, and one of my most prized possession; A nestle water bottle wrapper I found on the ground of a concert venue that I picked up and asked Tim to sign after the show, which he did. I still have that wrapper to this day, so believe me when I say I loved and STILL love AILD. But I'd only known bits and pieces about them as people, I only knew them through their music, and handfuls of interviews and videos that I could get. So for me to hear this wide open deep perspective from them, this is a whole new level for me.

14:45 will be me running to the store when the new AILD album drops. Great video and message!

You are a blessing and God forgives any body no matter what sin they comment he loves you and your band

The best apology is changed behaviour. I truly believe that Tim has changed his ways and that he's using his experiences of his past in the best most productive possible way. I applaud that. Turning a huge negative into something to help others is to be applauded.

As a fan, I sit back and reflect that I am no better than anyone, and I am not Tim's judge either. I have my share of difficulties and issues in this life, and I am grateful to hear that even through a traumatic situation, everyone was changed and that they can look back and reflect on how amazing the power of forgiveness is.

Always Tim always as I lay dying I'm a fan forever

This is the reason AILD is my favorite band. They're amazing on and off. And throught this they only strengthened their bond. AILD 4Ever

when your cup is too big, no amount is ever enough to fill it carry a small cup, live a happy life

I love you all very much f4om the darkest place in my heart im the guitarist i am today not only from my drive but the examples that you guys , parkway drive, bullet for my valentine, randy rhoads, and zakk have given me. Im more than thrilled my dying men are back together but more joyed that life can guide you all to love each other once again tim keep at it. Cuz you need everyome thats ben behind you.

When Tim said redefined I starting singing the song lol

I don’t think I’ve ever commented on a RU-vid video before, but this story has tugged at my heartstrings and I feel the need to share my experiences as well. Growing up, I was a troubled kid. Wild as hell, impatient, and stubborn. I had such rage and anger in my heart that all I wanted was to watch the world burn. The only thing that kept me grounded was metal music. The lyrics didn’t really matter, because I felt the energy being put forth, and I knew that these bands had the same feelings internally that I did. I had a few favorites, and As I Lay Dying was at the top of the list. I could relate to every song and find my meaning in them. Shadows are security helped me get through group homes, boys schools, and eventually prison. While I was inside, I saw the news about Tim and it really hit home. My idols...my heroes has reached their end. I would never get to feel the excitement and anticipation of waiting for the new record to come out. While inside, I made some conscious choices to better myself. I did treatment, substance abuse, you name it. Even worked my way to being a certified welder. I realized that I get one shot on this earth, and how dare I waste such an incredible opportunity. So I worked my ass off, and after a little over five years society decided that I had paid my debt. I was released, and started from scratch on building a life for myself. One day I’m looking through RU-vid and I saw the Single My Own Grave by As I Lay Dying and about did a backflip! No way have my heroes joined together again !? I gave it a listen, and it brought me to tears of joy. Not only has one of my favorite bands of all time came back, but they came back with a vengeance!!! Every word hit home for me, and it felt like As I Lay Dying was so much more than just a metal band anymore. Tim, you are such an inspiration to every single metalhead that struggles, and I could t be prouder to call myself a fan. I’m stoked that the band has started forgiving you and that you have found a way to turn this monumental negative into a beacon of light for others. I Love you guys so much and hope that one day I’ll get sat on the plane next to you or see you somewhere so I can tell you face to face how influential your story and your music has been for me. Keep on killing it and if you see a bald white dude going nuts on the rails, I’m having the time of my life!!!!

11:33 jesus christ the last dinner...

I am so glad I just watched this. Thank you so much for creating something for people to turn to for help. This world is dark with not enough candle holders. Thank you for forgiving Tim and being the guys all of your fans fell in love with since the beginning. Stay brave fellows. 🙌🏻

I forgive you Tim and I know you learned from your mistakes I still love you . Keep moving forward.

Often we have to fall and break into peices by our sinfuls hearts; that we finally lay ourselves down in death: death of the old man in us. It is in this that Jesus picks us up, and not only heals us in time of our wounds both to us and those we've caused. But molds us to serve others in love, grace and truth. For we are all broken vessels; but it is through Christ He uses our brokenness; to pour out His life giving water. For As We Lay Dying; The One Triune God will lift us up to Himself and make us sons of God through Christ Jesus. This testimony by Tim is a true example of How The Gospel really is. In Christ and God bless you brothera

The measure of success is not how far you rise... it's how high you bounce when you hit bottom. -- George S. Patton ****

I love that you all have such a strong bond now! I remember seeing Wovenwar at the fubar when Tim was in jail, I could see it that all of you were making new music but it just wasnt the same and didnt feel the same, Nick I am very sorry when you went out of your way to talk with me that I did mention Tim, if I knew how you felt at that time i would've never mentioned it. I will forever support As I Lay Dying and what they stand for! #muchlovefromStLouis

Thank you for sharing this unique and powerful story.

We will stand with you bro Long live Tim and long live A.I.L.D 💪

Love you Tim

This had in me tears. Thank you for sharing. I love you 🖤

*Metal saved my life... Thank you guys. God bless you all!*

A better redemption arc than any modern movie. Maybe someday it will be made a documentary with the full story and all the details.

I'm proud of you Tim. As someone whose life was ruined by physical and mental illness, I know what it's like to lose everything. I lost family, friends, money, opportunities, time, but worst of all, my mental and physical health, to the point where I nearly took my own life. However, the thought of all the music I'd miss out on kept me alive, especially the bands I hadn't seen live yet. As I get better, I know there will be alot of people thinking "what's he going to do once he's healed"? Seeing your transformation gives me hope that I can bounce back better than before. Cheers Tim, and I'll see you at my first AILD show!

Such an amazing powerful message!! So glad to see that Tim has accepted what he did and the person he once was and has changed for the better! So happy to have you back Tim! Beyond happy to see the rest of the band accept his forgiveness and move forward with the machine we know as AILD!!!! 🤜🤛🤘

Why do I want a GE water boiler and a cup of tea all of a sudden? Also, bravo. I hope this a new beginning for a once great band. Looking forward to good things.

To forgive is to love. To realize your mistakes is to live. To live is to let go. Metal music is all of this and so much more,something deeper there is no name for! Only understanding among all of us who live and breath music ❤️

"All that we suffer through leads to determination. The trials we all go through gives us the strength to carry on. Something within us burns, desire feeds the will to live. A reason to believe I will see redemption" - Killswitch Engage

I **almost** didn't watch this. Hadn't even thought about Tim or AILD in probably 5 years. But I did watch it. And you know what? Fuck yeah. Good for Tim, and for all the guys in the band. Prison doesn't automatically change you. You have to want to change. And forgiveness is no small thing, especially forgiveness for years of the kind of bullshit Tim was putting them through. Rock on, guys.

"how quickly i forget , that this is meaningless... " tim you got a second chance, not everyone does,make it worth, and bring us the most powerfull album that everyone has heard not just you the whole band damm, i believe in what youve said, and ive believe in forgiveness, i grew up listening to this band, and even when i knew what youve done, everyday i listen to at least 5 , or 6 songs of aild, we all have made mistakes, and we have to paid for them, but we all have the power to forgive, and we all have the right to ve forgived. mad respects to all the band members to be there when you needed the most, but most importantly let the past be in the past and learn that were all humans.

thanks to people like Pastor Bob. come back to sri lanka guys! we miss yous here.

Glad to have you back, Tim (and all of AILD)! Looking forward to seeing what you guys do from here!

Tim has the most beautiful smile... glad he's back

Man this was heavy. AILD and Tim's story can be a beacon of hope to those living in darkness

I truly understand the dark times Tim has gone through, especially during Tim's arrest. As I lay Dying will always be the band that will always fight through those dark times.

This band always seems to surprise us. Healing and redemption, everyone can relate. Way to move forward gents.

I had know idea this is how the band was and came to me thank you AILD for sharing your story one of the most powerful stories I have ever heard

Welcome back, Tim! I've been praying for you and the rest of the band ever since everything happened. Glad to know you are using what you learned in prison to help others facing the same path you went down. If you can reach at least one person and help them see that there is hope in the midst of what they are going through, that's one victory right there. God bless and keep it up! In His Service and Love, George Rivera (ChosenNightwolf)

Glad y'all are back! Forgiveness is one of Gods greatest gifts.

Amazing. Thank you for leading the charge in open & respectable communication based in love and understanding.

Didn't know Phil and Nick had a distance... got me chocked up. Glad they're all back together. I'm ready to see them live again.

Hey Tim, I always believed in and prayed for you. I knew you would get out, and knew deep down you were truly sorry for what had happened. Everyone makes mistakes man. We all have problems. You kicked hells ass and you're back for a second chance to prove to everyone you have good in you. Rock on man🤘 and stay strong 🤘

Tim, you owe us a live blu-ray Awakened show

Can we all just agree that even good people have the capacity to have darkness in them that can change who they are if that person is fed negativity from the people around them. I don't know Tim but if he has been accepted back into the lives of his bandmates/friends after what happened then I think it's safe to say he's legitimately trying to make up for what he did while working towards positive change.