Attract the Right Friends, Be ‘Mean Girl’ Proof 

After 45 years of living on this planet, being subject to bullying, mean girls in school and work, the thing I’ve learned is having a knowledge of how to make healthy boundaries for ourselves and to recognize the red flags of narcissistic behavior in others. And even so sometimes people are just jerks or who take advantage of kind and considerate people. Love yourself and be okay with your own company.

Laura, you’re right. Generally, when I have a lot of different things going on, I seem to attract less “mean girls”. I think I meet more positive, happy people who are aligned with my goals and dreams. It takes a lot of energy and courage to step out of your comfort zone and try something new! Mean girls like to sit in familiar circles with in familiar places to gossip or complain about people. They can’t control someone who needs to be somewhere else.

Last night we went to dinner at a couples house. They were nice but the wife talked over me. A few times i raised my voice and she just got louder and drowned me out. There was a time i would have tried again but no, I'm going to pass

"You need to step back and go slow." Exactly.

I am 59 and just lost afriendship for a stupid reason. Just learned a hard lesson after five years of friendship. Truly sad. I thought i was carefull in this friendship but .....i was wrong. Slowly growing and building a solid friendship and for a silly reason just blew.. Very disappointed😢. Best Regards from Portugal.Cristina

I just found you today, and I'm so glad I did. Your explanations ring true and are very well articulated. TY

My goodness Laura, you always have such good advice. Your tone and the way you deliver the messages, just bang on. I look forward to ALL your conversations and never miss one. I also believe in the thank you note thing.

Maybe I have finally found a tribe! Really like your RU-vids, from one Laura to another……thanks❤️

I seem to attract those needy ones who glam on and smother me. I can't stand being in touch even 2x a week. I need space and privacy; not people that always have to txt me or keep me off balance with their misguided "concern".

So true…great advice…..:)

The healthier you become the less you will attract needy people.

Wonderful advice as always Laura, thank you ❤

To me, it’s not that the mean girls are confident. They try to put themselves in a position of power and visibility. At work, school and socially they try to put themselves in a higher pecking order and the insecure girls or people new to the group are too scared to disagree or go against them or to just keep the relationship cordial. With mean girls, it’s almost always transactional. If everyone would just step back and ask themselves if they feel like the give and take is relatively equal. The answer to that question might be able to save us from making friend mistakes.

I recommend a really good book called “how to know a person” by David Brooks. Learning how to be the person who sees people or rather, being an illuminator rather than a light diminisher is an art form that will bring people into your life.

great info! audio level is better but still could be raised up a bit so I don't have to raise volume and then be blasted by ad volume

So many women treat their less attractive friends as bad unattractiv man trying to impress her. They expect free child sitting, house cleaning, emotional support and very rarly bother to even make any nice plans back to the friend. Women also could steal your man and laugh innocently about it while putting up a surprise pichachu face. Woman can be so incredibly horrible towards each other.

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Very good advice and so true. People are not going to pound your door down begging to be your friend. We need to get out and explore. We can take our time and be a little picky about who we allow into our lives. Be the person you would like to be friends with.

I am more of a 'be er' than a 'do er', thus I enjoy simple things, and am happy to just read, contemplate, ponder. But I guess being like this doesnt get me meeting people and making friends! I like the way my mother just had lots of neighbours, friends and relatives nearby..they would walk to each others homes; a sense of community. It just seems like its too much hard work and complicated now, having to organise and put yourself out there. Maybe I would be better suited to living in a third world country in a village where women all worked together. Or maybe I'm romanticising these scenarios!

I choose to invest in my 5th child who is the only girl out of 4 boys ages 34, 30,28,18. I’m 52 and I’ve learned and desire being to myself and I’m happy in what I do everyday in my home. My husband works from home as well, so we are together all day and night. I enjoy it and can’t imagine life differently. My life is full and days are fulfilled with acquaintances and casual conversations and encounters with other women. I don’t need people more than they need me. Maintenance of relationships is tough in this day and I’m thrilled to meet others and share life as it comes. I am a thankful and blessed person and I’m willing to help anyone as well. I have no expectations of others( family or friends )either so that completely frees me not to be mad or angry at another for not following through. We are all human beings and fallible. I just love people where they are and allow people to come and go.

That is so nice that your friend sent you a “thank you” note and brought you some flowers 💐 when she came over - these types of traditions should never go out of fashion. Someone really wise taught me about the “penny principle ”. If you do a small gesture for someone, and you don’t receive a penny’s worth of gratitude, such as a simple “thank you” - don’t do any further for them, otherwise you will get hurt!

Just figured out that a friend of 40 years is a “mean girl”. Your label of that behavior will help me protect myself from her. Thanks!

Excellent soothing videos. Very enjoyable listening to your points

Your advice is valid for men also, not just for women. So as a man I follow your youtube videos.

What a great message thankyou 🌺🌺lovely message from such an interesting lovely woman and did notice young woman commenting and my daughter turns twenty next month ! I believe your knowledge would be valuable to her slowly but surely she going to be introduced by me to you ❤️❤️

You have such good advice !! Thank you for sharing your wisdom !!! 💖💖💖💖

Lesson learned. O joined a widows social groups. Most of them are much older than me. One lady kind of took me under her wing immediately, " oh come sit with me". ( and her other friend)..I thought oh a new friend how nice she is. She then proceeded to warn me about others and bad mouthed them, she's not in their clique. Oh brother. I played cards with her several times, bought candy on her birthday, visited her in nursing home after a surgery she had...but she has quit calling me and connecting. LOL. Now I find myself chatting with those she warned me about and they aren't at all what she said.