AUTISM | Memory Difficulties (PERSONAL STORY) 

Sometimes it feels like because I know tons of random information, people are always surprised when I forget something important even when I've done it before multiple times in front of them. I had no idea that my absent-mindedness was an autistic symptom until just recently. So far the best help for this I have found is using a smartphone as a dayplanner and that really helps because then I can take it everywhere with me and no one thinks it's weird.

I have a very large calendar in my kitchen. It's helpful as long as I actually write the appointments etc on it.

I apologize as people tell me their name and am genuinely sorry that I'll forget it. Everyone becomes "Mate".

Yup, can relate, I have a really hard time to remember meetings/events and that kinda stuff. But I remember stuff that happened long ago.

I've totally relized I needed gas when leaving school, remember again a block before the gas station and the forgot again my the time I pass the gas station and not end up getting gas 😅

Yes, I relate. I have gotten into the habit of jumping up to do something the SECOND I think of doing it because I know otherwise it won't happen. This usually causes more problems than it solves, as I am usually unprepared in some way for the task should I be lucky enough to remember it when I arrive. Another manifestation of this is that I find myself constantly interrupting people in conversation because I rudely blurt out anything I think to say before it vanishes from my mind. Pads and Pads of lists and notes are also required to survive any particular day. I am 50 years old, have never been formally diagnosed and my life is an intricate web of coping mechanisms. Just found your channel, Thanks.

(6 minutes in when he starts getting to the topic of memory.) Knows facts and stuff from decades ago. Can't remember where I put my keys.

Love your videos. I’m not an Aspie but my husband of 22 yrs was recently diagnosed with ADHD (I always suspected he had it), so there are a lot of similarities and I use a lot of your tips with him. Then I forward my 18 yr old daughter the videos cuz not only does she work with a student that is hard of hearing and autistic but she’s in a class with students with various learning disabilities including autism. She really loves her job and these videos have really helped her connect with the student she is assigned to and the other students in the classroom. The school staff, teachers, principal, parents and students love her but it’s because, besides having a good heart, she has these videos that help her understand what her students are going thru when they can’t express it or pin point it.

I relate to this so much. I have a calendar on my phone, multiple lists on my phone, 2 to 3 different notepads around my apartment, and I drown in sticky notes regularly haha I can't survive without all of it 🤣 People think it's a joke, but if it isn't on a list or calendar, it will not happen for me. But don't worry, I have 3 different credit cards memorized. Expiration dates and CVCs included. 🤣 Your videos are awesome and help me so much, thank you for all you do for this community! 💖🌻

I forget things so easily. The only way that I can remember is if it interests me or somebody has to remind me/tells me it’s my top priority. I sometimes forget things because I’m too occupied with work. Whenever I forget something really important (or something I really wanted to do), I get upset and angry at myself for not paying attention to it, even to the point of questioning my competence. Listening to this video cheered me up a bit because I reminded me that I’m not the only one in the world with memory problems. I’ve just started using my iPhone to help remind me, and I’ll try and start using my iPad too.

I'm so bad with forgetting things right after I get the reminder call! Same issue! That said, you were remembering the most important thing...happy birthday Naomi!! ❤️✌️

My 13-year-old daughter does something very simple but effective. She puts alarms on her iPhone with text what that particular alarm is for. She also has a set of daily and weekly alarms set for regular activities. You can set different sounds for different alarms, that's neat. I use reminders on my iPhone. You can set an alarm to the reminder if you want.

I have tried all sorts of planners to try and work on this for myself. Bullet journals have worked for a lot of people, they were overwhelming for me. I haven’t found a perfect one yet, but the search continues! :) It makes sense though, we have a hard time gauging time lengths so forward memory requires a lot more work for us which makes us anxious, which decreases our ability to form new memories even further and especially memory for details. Backwards thinking, we don’t have to remember time, just events, which is far easier for us.

I have a horrible problem with missing appointments, or double booking myself, or missing events and birthday. I do this ALL THE TIME. I have to say my biggest weakness as a person and as a professional, is keeping a schedule. Even with a calendar, I still goof up. I need my husband to constantly remind me of everything.

Totally my experience too. I’m glad to hear see someone else talking about it. I can remember way past all the allistic people around me, but day to day, I cant remember what I’m supposed to be doing that day

Ive got short term and long term memory loss, it affects every aspect of my life

Don't beat yourself up. I feel like I'm a failure all the time, and feel so bad for messing up plans. But the truth is, it's gonna be OK. To err is human. We all make mistakes. I totally feel your pain. You're awesome. Thanks for sharing your story.

I forgot to watch this earlier

I forget to look at my calender for months at a time it's shocking

Scheduling and long-term memory is fine. I tend to blank out and forget what I'm even talking about when people interrupt me to interject into the conversation. It breaks my state, and feels like what I imagine dementia feels like. Other things I forget is how long ago something happened. i.e. "Was that two days ago? I thought it was last week." Or "are those MY dishes I forgot to put away? I wash all my dishes, but can't remember if those ones were mine or not." The one I hate the most is when my state is broken during a conversation, and my brain completely blanks out. People can't keep up with all the info I feel is necessary to get my point across, and I can't do the back-and-forth as drastically as neurotypical people do.

Hi Dan, love your videos! Got used to you talking quickly now and really enjoying the content. I have terrible organisational skills and technology and being able to set reminders has totally saved my life. Also having a very organised partner has really helped too! Before I could barely function and constantly forgot things and would beat myself up about it, so life is much better now. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time still or it all goes pear shaped though! Keep up the good work!

My 16 yrold son has autism, we homeschool. For appointments i put them in my calender on my phone as i am making them or i write them down then add them to my calender. I ALWAYS set reminders for an hr ahead so we are never late. That really helps us.

I have ADHD, Fibromyalgia, and I suspect Asperger's. What I find to be true about myself is that I just don't find much use in apps. I spend very little time on my phone. My computer is where I check e-mails. Outside of my computer and droid phone, I don't rely on these things. I admit that I require the ability to physically write stuff down on a paper calendar. The main one I use is a huge desk calendar on the wall. I use that calendar to keep track of when I have to work, family doctor appointments. If it don't find its way there, call it forgotten. My issues with memory sometimes goes back to my Fibromyalgia. Before I wrap this one up, you've been a massive help in dealing with my issues.

its like going the wrong way when going to someones house,or destination, going the wrong way, and no matter how you try to change it in your head you always remember it that way. Its frustrating remembering the wrong date, or mixing up the numbers, or getting it my head wrong. I still do it, but its been better since i have not been working, on medication, exercise, eating a healthy diet, and making sure i get the sleep i need.

Yup, i totally forget things....things in the past though completely spot on🤦🏻‍♀️🤣❤️ HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAOMI.... watching live btw. I could hear perfectly. I have no ideas for you Dan sorry, My aide is my parents and boyfriend. Sounds like you have a wonderful patient partner in Naomi, but i get it independence is important to us. I am extremely picky.

I just found out I am autistic and people are not happy with me because everyone knows people who are atistic remember facts lol know body knew I was like this lol they just taught I was shy and quiet when I really just didn't have social skills and I never realised I had no social skills. I am so happy I know who I am now at 30 years old wow and that I can now use my brain to better my career , creativity and heart to help myself and others around me more. I taught everyone had the same mind as me growning up what an amazing discovery I found out who I am because my thrid child is showing the same differences as I had as a child he is a little angel and a blessing to me, he has changed my life I love him so much.

I'm very forgetful also. I can't plan digitally for some reason, part of it is probably that I am oblivious to any reminders. I'm still recovering from a major planner fail that started to unfold in the beginning of January, when I tried a new planner with a different set up that I wasn't used to (which is already stressful) but on top of that, it did not work for me and I could not look at it before the purchase. But my life falls apart without a planner. I will try the passion planner this year. Bullet journaling is something I would love to do, especially since its completely customizable and very artistic. But I'm guessing that it would take me a while to set it up and it would have to be perfect or drive me crazy. Yes, new things are terrifying. Passion planner is new to me also, but I researched quite a bit. It seems to be the best option for me right now, to combine a daily and a weekly passion planner customize them a little with habit trackers and checklists. There are many videos online showing a flip thru of the passion planner setup. Nice video! Thank you.

using visual timetable and routine and a wall calender, on the wall and use color-coding

I can totally relate. Plus Happy Birthday to your wife!🎈🎂🎉

You're inspirational Dan

Don't know if you've covered the subject but coping with traumatic events, which are so burned into the memory that they are thought about daily, might be helpful for those of us who have trouble forgetting. Thank you for posting.

Couple of things I do. For recurring things I try to schedule things on the same days. Like therapy is always a Monday. So I can plan around certain things. I also use a desk calendar, wall calendar, or planner, which I use as a reference when adding appointments to calendar on myMac and iPhone. I find that the act of writing it out helps me remember. I set the email reminder of all my appointments for the night before. Going over it all the night before helps. Then the reminder goes off 2 hours before.

My working memory sucks but I can remember all kinds of stupid stuff I'd rather forget 🤣

Yeah I can relate to this, I’m always forgetting things

Write down notes for everything you need to do! Even post its! Sticky notes! I have bad short term memory problems too. I also keep appointment cards in my wallet to remind me of doctor appointments. My concentration is really bad, it even affects my reading. I can't concentrate very long on what I'm reading or doing. My focus sometimes is only for a few seconds, which I see in you too. My memory is so bad that I can't remember much from the video I just watched from you and I just watched it. I'm a musician too, I've played the drums for decades. You learn chord progressions and scales on your guitar, that takes memory. But it's a long term memory that stays with you. Short term memory is BS, it just goes. But big events and repeatedly learning a series of chords will stick with you if you repeat it. It's a muscle memory type of thing. Through repeated practice it eventually sticks with you. Think of it this way, you don't repeatedly try to remember your name, it just sticks with you because you repeatedly use it. There was a jazz musician from the 1930's that said, "I don't know what I just played and I just played it." He was talking about a solo he just took. You can't remember ever detail, just try to remember the big stuff.

Can relate to the memory thing. I'm constantly forgetting stuff. Last nite kids asked for tea so I put out two cups and boiled the kettle. Couple of hours later I notice the two cups still beside the kettle. Cause something else interrupted me and I had to focus on that task, completely forgot about the tea. Also, you mentioned most autistic people have some kind of counseling. It's almost a year since I was diagnosed and counseling hasn't been suggested to me. My past experience with counseling hasn't been good. I don't know what to expect from it or how it can help me with my issues. Would love to hear how counseling helps you. Cheers!

Can totally relate. I put every item in my apple calendar. You can put a reminder and second reminder (like for example an hour in advance, 15 mins in advance, a day in advance etc). I even do that to remind me to eat or go to sleep. And use color codes (types of agenda's). I have a chores agenda, an appointments agenda, a joint agenda with my husband, etc...

"Look at my new plant guys' hehe love it

I forget all the time oof

My husband always teases me by saying, “Let me guess, you forgot!” Yup.

Why does my son always respond "I don't know " no matter the question we ask? These are questions that only he can answer. Makes me crazy!

Yes, I relate, sadly.😞 Thank You! Edited: How many other of you also have A.D.H.D. as well?

Also, just to add, I use the Keep app for my lists and notes and I love it. I also set multiple alarms on my calendar, I'll even add important phone calls I have to make and whatnot. I don't know if Keep is on iPhones but I've been using it for years and I love it. Also, use a sticky note app on your computer if you don't already, that's an extra help for me. I basically just make sure it's all in my face at all times so I can't forget haha

Great content Dan. I can relate to the way we forget things. I was given a calendar for Christmas to help me remember things but sometimes I do not right things in it which annoys me which it comes to doing things which I have not written down in my calendar.

I recommend you look into "memory palace" techniques. It can help with improving how much information you can remember.

It's a pain, but if you want to keep your memory refreshed, you can try writing notes by hand to yourself and stick them where you'll keep seeing them. Just a thought.☺

thanks for the shout out man.

Oh my god- I can't forwardly remember a n y t h i n g. M y mum has asked me to get things from the shops on my way home from work the next day so often I just tell her to text it to me near knock off time because there is zero chance I'll remember it when I need to

Not an app but I keep a bullet journal very tailored to what I need in a planner and in it I put everything I need to do each month, each week and each day with events in a different color so I can see it immediately and always have it with me so if something is happening that day or the next day orwhatever, I write it down the second I hear it and check it after I do each task because I have to cross it out (if there's a big event or project I'm doing I break it up into every possible small task there is so that I both don't forget to do an important part of it and also so I don't get so absorbed in one event that I forget everything else because I'm being forced to look at my to do list so many times)

Fall's here, it's time for live chats!

I can relate. I hate when someone asked me to do something later. An example of this is hey "can you get my jacket out of the car when you get a chance" then when I go to do it the person says no when you get a chance. then I say no if I don't do it now I am gonna forget lol.

I get distracted and start doing other jobs around the house when I originally start to go to do one job around the house by the time I'm done I've got six or seven different things going on and every time I go in each room I'm doing a little bit of each

As acts mental health professional I lived out of a date book I'm just an hour early you know eight nine ten in the morning all day that might be something to look into just a yearly date book and then you can always see when you're available or you can write down a timeline as to when you want to get a project finished or something to keep you on track like that like daily reminders like every day you could put you know have a cup of tea or you know meditate or think about projects around the house that need done

I almost got a £100 fine for not doing my MOT, luckily got a phone call from Honda tying to sell me something lol, and saying my mot has actually expired Few!!!! Next morning I was actually infront of a cop car I know I would have been done! From that day had todo something about this forgetfulness as its only going to hit me in the pocket. I use a app called clean my house I add all my important stuff, to even checking the Tires, oil, Road tax, and when I actually really need to service my car.... I add putting the Garden bins out and reclying bins, as they are on different weeks and I cant remember them to safe my life the list goes on. With me I find the app so helpful wards cant Express. My favourite bit is it has a count down in days to the due date! Of each task And when last I completed a task. You tick the tasks off! When you completed and it goes red if you are late and tell you the days over due! Which makes it even better. I think the app was made for me 🤣 Link below, it's on android, the free version is more than good enough Its fxxking SICK!!!! play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.woohoosoftware.cleanmyhouse

I have children and we have a large family calendar pasted on a walk with all the appointments on it so that everyone knows what's happening when and then I have my own phone with my calendar with alarms.

Yep same way.

Ah Dan you are my most relatable youtuber. This is so totally me. I live for post it notes

Literally me 😂🤦🏻‍♀️was told I have ptsd but then told I don’t :/ thought I’d mention that one. Was a very forgetful child/teen too

I’m newly diagnosed autistic, adhd and dyscalculia. I’ve have been experiencing a decline in memory for years and I’m only in my 30’s. A recent test showed severe deficits. I’m assuming this is some unfortunate neurological problem, but can someone share how much my autism might factor in? I didn’t know memory could be an issue due to autism. I would appreciate a quality source to look at and bring to my doctor. I would like to know how much might be a deficit and how much might be situational and not permanent. I had a speech therapist help me with my daily issues and planning and they are good at this because they often work with stroke patients and TBI patients who struggle with memory. He told me that I should log all the incidents I have and anything I could remember about the environment like if the tv was playing, if someone was talking to me, if the lights were on, If I was hungry/tired, etc. i learned that I cannot let anyone talk to me while the tv is on. They have to pause the tv and turn and look me in the eye and then speak. Otherwise I won’t even hear them or know anyone is speaking to me. He also taught me that visual clutter is a problem for my brain so the cleaner I can make things, the better my brain will function because I won’t be distracted by the clutter. I had to switch back to a paper planner because something always happened to my tech reminders like it didn’t go off or it did but my phone was silent or I wrote in on the wrong day, etc. paper is very simple. Also, something funky happens to my brain when I look at screens and I feel a huge drop in function. I’m not sure if its flicker rate, blue light or what but I try to do everything on paper when I can. I also had to tell everyone in my life that they need to check in with me and help me remember. I try to confirm everything the day before so it’s fresh in my brain and I sleep next to my planner so it’s the first thing I see in the morning. I ask any professionals I have appointments with to send me a summary email afterward with links of anything they mentioned. I also try to type notes in google docs if it’s important with dates and titles so I can go back and reference things. I keep all my old planners because I’m so time blind that I cannot remember how long ago certain things happened so I can always look back in my planners. I started writing more detail in the planners with anything significant about that day because it could cue memories later if I’m searching back for something specific. I try to automate my routine as much as possible and try not to deviate so I don’t have to use brain power on things that are recurring. I only have to remember what day it is and then the events will typically be in the same days.

This is my husband. Our daughter was diagnosed with ASD about a year ago and with research I've started to notice that it is highly likely that my husband is undiagnosed ASD. I think his life could be a lot better if we could start to get him some supports, but at this point he still isn't interested in entertaining the idea.

Have a weekly whiteboard that you copy from iPad every Sunday. Then just check to confirm thought

Can Aspergers be triggered by Trauma? I suffer a lot of these symptoms but they really got pronounced after a series of traumatic events spanning the years of 1998 to 2005. Thanks for all your work and contribution

I also have a magnetic dry-erase board that rolls up and like you could put it on the freezer parts of your refrigerator I just write down notes or make it into a monthly magnetic reminder which they sell pre dated for a better word and you can just write down what you need to do each day that's the only thing I could think of other than that I just write down a lot of notes haha us and our list can't be apart haha

Businesses that I frequent know me and give me reminder cards then I put the appointment in my phone and watch calendar. Love my smart watch.

I forget this i ask like after 15 minutes ago. But i remember many things of my past most of the time i descripe a moment and ask my mom that she can convert it that it is true but 9/10 my mom do not remember it. And i am not diagnose . But i got so many signs that i sure of that. but many times it feels weird for me that i can remember it so well.

I've forgotten my husband's birthday, our anniversary, Father's day, etc etc etc. Causes tons of stress for both of us. I feel like that scientist in the movie "Flubber". Anyone know that one? He's so forgetful he literally forgets his wedding day like 10 times. That's me. I can only focus on 1 thing at at a time. Even if I am really invested in the event. Even when I really care. I still get distracted and forget.

I can’t afford nor do I know how to use an eye pad.

Why is this in "crack in the door" video format? Can't the phone be turned on its side so we get widescreen on these? I'm sorry, but this format makes me crazy. Oh, glad to hear about memory problems when you're on the spectrum.

I have a really good memory for cars, every car my family members have had from a stupidly young age, cars that I think they got rid of before I started primary school but I still remember them somehow. What I have little to no memory for is dates, names, etc, in long term memory and most stuff short term, but again, good short term for cars, so I could tell you every car they've ever owned but not when they were bought, sold or (as in a couple of cases) totaled in a collision. Faces are a weird one though that I don't know what it falls under. There are many people who I haven't seen for several years but I'll recognise randomly in the street but there are a few people who have made the slightest change to their appearance in a few months and I don't recognise them at all (main one is a lady who I assume didn't wear make up during pregnancy and did wear some after and I didn't recognise her at all in the exact location I last saw her), I only know they are them because they're the people who seem to recognise me and say hello. To put in in a single sentence, I'm the sort of person you could tell something to and I'll forget it within 5 minutes, but a few years down the line the most random thing can have it pop into my mind again, unless it's what car you drive, and one of the majority of faces, then you'll always be that face with that car. :)

I have ok long-term memory, but terrible short-term memory and spatial memory

Love your videos and I really appreciate you talking about this topic! Could you please back away from the mic when sipping your drink? Any other Misophoniacs have to switch it off because of this? I couldn't focus on your words for fear of the next sip so sorry!

Family planner calendar so things don't cross over. Hang in kitchen. If it's there physically to see and not in electrical equipment it may help

Too

An aspie boy *HERE*

My memory is so badd

Watching this 4 years later. Diagnosed at 50 and now 67 with Asperger’s. Unfortunately, 3 of my grandchildren diagnosed as autistic. Has your child shown any traits? Just aware of so many autistic children and there seem to be too many. Just wondering if people realise that if first child autistic, then 80% likely other siblings will be autistic, so does if affect people’s choice to have children? My daughter still wanted more children after first diagnosed. It’s obviously genetic, so do people want to stop having children, so stopping genes being passed on. Hope it’s ok to say this and wonder what you have experienced from conversations with people. Cheers.

How about the event stops existing in your memory, so I will not even check any app being sure, there is nothing going on?! To many apps is not good, because you can miss thing checking one but not another, or checking all takes too much time.

I forget stuff alot I have austism

I can’t remember details even when they’re right in front of me. I don’t know how I’m going to operate

This may make me sound stone age, but I stick to a run-of-the-mill calendar. I have to be able to physically write it. I am not all that tech savvy in terms of constant high tech reminder use. I just find it easier.

Check out Emacs (Org-Mode). I have problems similar to yours. You can program it how you want. There are several tutorials. There are add-ons that allow connection with phone / ipad / google calendar and such. But it has revamped the way I schedule and how I organize all my ideas. It allows me to capture and find all my research better. But it allows me to track all my ideas - and you can make it work the way your brain works. I would send you to a youtube video, but there are basics that cover one item in 5 minutes, or a good general overview that lasts an hour. I'm not sure what you would be interested in.

I cant remember birthdays at all. Doesnt mater if your my mom or my best freind. I never remember my partners work sceduel he gets so peeved

When i was in group 5 at school so i was 9 year i had a presetstion at school. It was my first one ever. So the teacher help me with a subject. I had the presentation about rabbits. The first sentece of that presentation was: i gonna give my presentation about rabbits, rabbits have long ears and big teeths. But i can forget what is said like 5 minutes ago XD.

I've had the worst fight's with my wife because of things I have forgotten. She says I don't care which starts the fight off.

Hahaha "sorry guys I have ADHD", YEAH I FIGURED 😂

I'm old school, I got locked out of my day book recently, I'm going back to a paper daybook. N what if the electric goes down?

Happy birthday 🎂

100% relate dude

You sounded better before mic.

App what names

Yay

How do you tell someone they may have this problem

Do you have a list of apps that can help a teenager?

This is my partner to a tee!

what?

Dude same lol

Get kicked in the arse all the time for fergetting to read shopping list properly because of distraction, even though I train myself not to leave wallet, phone etc on public transport, always look behind when existing, or when leaving my car. I use samsung reminder as it shows it all in one place and I can colour code stuff and add pictures,a god send! Android for life!! 😆

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗