Autistic and Lazy? 

Is there genuinely such thing as being lazy? How can you differentiate between people having mental health or neurodevelopmental problems and being "lazy"?

The absolute worst part of living with neurotypicals is, never being able to just start, do, and finish anything. Any time i begin something, i know someone will demand fifteen different things before i complete it, and by that time, i often just give up.

As a Dyspraxic, I never get accused of being lazy, but inefficient and slow. A typical day for me involves a lot of "wheel-spinning" to get done what needs to get done. It's like I'm always on the go but can only juggle so much. From past experience, I know that if not for the fact that I keep myself fit and healthy, I wouldn't have the energy and endurance to power through my days. But again, I can only accomplish so much in a given time allotted, and so much of what holds me back is that I have to lead such a time consuming "quasi athletic" health nut lifestyle by reason of dire medical necessity. This takes up so much time and energy from other pursuits I would rather focus on.

This is very personal right now. I've been thinking a lot about guilt and 'using the diagnosis as an excuse'. I know I'm not, the past few months have been hell and I'm glad that I'm still here. But now that I'm finally a lot better and as I'm finding more joy and having energy to actually do things except laying on my couch, the self doubt creeps back in. For most of my life people have called me lazy and selfish and told my mother to stop supporting me financially. I internalized this so much. For me all this time it was suffering and telling myself and others that if I just tried hard enough, I could and would do all the things. My mask was filled with promises that I will never able to fulfill. And I somewhat understand why people thought and probably still think this way but I won't lie, it hurts and feels like betrayal when it comes from family members. Most people are not lazy. Most people have issues. If it were laziness, it would be fun and not just pure survival.

A good point you make about being criticised for watching TV or films. There is a hierarchy of interests where those that seem more practical such as art, crafts and - even more so - gardening and DIY are much more respected with watching TV supposedly "lazy" or "passive" and ranked at the bottom. It's one of the reasons why I'm reluctant to tell others that TV is one of my biggest interests. Film is considered a little higher because it's seen as more "serious" and might involve getting out and going to the cinema - more social things than many autists are comfortable with.

Thank you for discussing this. For the last couple years I was an air-duct cleaner/hvac restorer and it was one of the most stressful jobs I’ve dealt with because it was nothing but loud noises, inconsistent protocol/work hours, and potentially some of the dirtiest work imaginable. I was always made fun of for eating the same thing daily and for wearing earmuffs even when it was considered dangerous listening volumes. I was truly terrible at my job too because of how much effort it took for me to remember to do certain things whilst taming my sensory issues. I ended up quitting under the notion that I was too mechanically challenged (which I am lol), but I worked so hard only to be scolded at and misunderstood by my coworker. I’ve stayed unemployed for the last couple months with no intention of working anytime soon. I feel so represented with this video as someone who puts the effort into being responsible, but I now feel like I have to be “lazy” to manage my anxiety and thought-processes because others simply won’t give me the leeway to be more constructive. Keep up the good work you’re doing with these vids.

My whole life I was accused of being lazy until my family helped me move and we found my hundreds of notebooks and my thousands of drawings heehee Now I just get my drawings out and remind everyone how DIFFERENT autistic people can be

Thank you for Perfectly explaining how it feels when people ask me to do something I was Already going to do. I genuinely will want to do it, up until you've asked me to do it when I'm not ready to do it.

Supposed laziness is often not what it seems. It's true that sometimes you might find that someone hasn't done some expected task but that might be because it's genuinely very difficult - even anxiety-inducing - for them. Perhaps it would be better if the critics explored the cause and offered support rather than assuming laziness is the cause.

I’m 46 and my autism wasn’t diagnosed until 2019. When I was at school my teachers always accused me of being lazy because I struggled to do my class work. Asking for help didn’t make things easier, my teacher would just explain to me again what I had to do. Knowing what to do was not usually the problem. Most of the time I understood what I had to do, I just wasn’t able to work out how to go about it. Trying to figure out how to do things is extremely difficult for me. My mind becomes paralysed by the effort. Something like tidying a room is very easy for most people. To me, it is an insurmountable problem. We all have to do things we don’t want to, and it is lazy for people to manipulate someone else into doing things for them just because they can’t be bothered to do it themselves. But some people (especially older people), tend to think of someone as lazy if they don’t spend a fair amount of time each day doing something “productive”. I strongly disagree with that. Life is short, spending as little of it as possible doing things you don’t want to is sensible, not lazy.

Its funny that here in America we downplay everything and just call it "inflation" while brits are calling it a cost of living crisis.

I absolutely love these Dana videos. Notice that Forbes just published an article yesterday - Lazy Girl Jobs. Not actually just girls but anyone who quiet quits on the job. Does the minimum and goes home. It is actually hilarious. Stop being productive for capitalist clowns. You are not “being productive”, you are making money for other people. Just be here and enjoy your life. No judgement. Keep up this great video work. Stay cool Dana

I know I'm a bit late with this comment but "Laziness does not Exist" by Devon Price is a really great book and explains why things are harder for someone ND. There's always a reason for "laziness" such as burnout. It's good to watch your videos as you always speak in such an open and honest way. Thank you!

My mom has been calling me lazy a LOT the past few years...She says it any time I need to decrease my work load. I'm actually kinda concerned for her...I remember her once screaming at me that life was about work...

I have lived in my current flat for seven years and in that time I have never had a single visitor. I feel that's a sort of invasion of my space like they are somehow inside my head. I can deal with the odd workman although I do prefer to do things myself if I can. I don't have problems interacting with people and having conversations, although I feel isolated in crowds. I can chat at the shop or the hairdresser for hours. But I spend days without seeing another human being. And I don't have a telly - can't stand what they mostly have on it. Getting lost or obsessed in an activity for many hours, even days, is mostly what I do every day. And I tend to do lots of different things that most people don't do. And I get really deep into stuff. I can relate so much to most of what you say. Believe me, it will always be like that. And it's not laziness because we can also be intensely productive without a break for 16 hours a day for months at a time.

yeah i get that. like i was gonna do it but since u asked its like a whole thing now and i just cant deal with it!!!!!!

I’m self-diagnosed only a year ago, and I’m pretty sure my daughters are neurodivergent. I’m going to show this video to them and see what they relate to. Thank you! ❤

I never noticed when I hit a new chapter in a book because I stopped seeing the words! I legit wouldn't notice the big words that said "CHAPTER X" because I was entirely inside the story. So hard to explain 😂

If nobody knows the meaning of life how can anyone say we're not doing what we are supposed to be?

I do the same thing with washing twice. Same thing with washing my hands. Sometimes I have to do it like 4-5 times.

I feel really seen with this video, thank you.

OMG ! I can't just wake up and go in a shower and experience sensory Hell of cold temperatures either from the shower not being hot enough or the air being too cold once I'm at all wet. No. Can't do it.

Thank you for making this for me relatable video, which was really nice to watch BUT, the sudden change in hair color was a little bit shock. 👍it looks good, it is just unexpected 🤯

I relate so much! I love your channel and hope you're having a great day

I take long long long long showers because I don't like being cold when I get out. Plus I like hot water. I'm a sucker for natural hot springs. I don't mind being wet when I'm in the water but I hate being wet when I get out of the water. Getting in is hard at first but I know I'll like it once I'm inside but I absolutely dread getting out to dry off. Then when I'm dry I feel better. Showering is a mixed bag for me due to those reasons.

So much relatable about laziness, and my life before discovering I am autistic

Yes indeed😊

Well, whatever my father had to call me, there is NO DOUBT he was Autistic !!! So, no one can give any credibility to anything he has to say, since he is in denial of his own Autism.

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