I never realized I played differently until recently as an adult, hearing how typical kids' play is. Now I know why I was always bored and annoyed when my friends wanted to play pretend and I just wanted to sort their toys so I could find all the parts to a teaset or a match up the pairs of Barbie shoes (missing shoes from a pair were the worst) or when I went to the children's museum and there was a play supermarket, I wanted to stock the shelves and make it look real, not play a cashier or customer. I was always disappointed that there was never enough play food to actually fill shelves correctly. I also often didn't react to falling or getting hurt while playing as a toddler, so my mom used to joke about it, but looking back, I wonder if that was not that I didn't feel hurt, but that I had more important things to do than be distracted by being injured. Getting stuck was a totally different matter and there are lots of photos of me about to cry because I'm stuck after crawling into a tight spot
I share many of those traits too. The non-verbal thing is something I have experienced my entire life - its the most debilitating trait making impossible to work and make friends. I think the right term is selective mutism. 💜
Yes! I've struggled with that my whole life. Dealing with the selective mutism was just awful. It made school even more of a nightmare than it already was.
I want to sooooo bad, part of me is worried there’ll be some kind of consequence for doing it, but mostly I’m like I’d be telling the truth, maybe don’t be a crappy person if you don’t want people to talk about you being a crappy person 🤭
@@DanaAndersenoh yeah, totally understand the hesitation. I’d only encourage you to talk about it if you feel safe doing it! But yes it sounds like this was a nasty nasty person! One of my pet peeves is people being inconsiderate of others’ space and need for a quiet safe environment to come home to. I just don’t get it at alllll
Even as an adult, my mom still gets upset at me if I don't greet strangers when I'm with her. But it's funny because I often do say "hello", but I'm so quiet and she's so busy talking she just doesn't notice that I DID say something 😅Frankly I think she can just say "hello" for both of us lol good luck with moving!
we need to do a survey about TFS (Toilet Flushing Sensitivity, just made it up) because i'm thinking about this ever since i remembered it but i was like, aren't all kids like this? kids are naturally more sensitive to everything so isn't this just a normal phase everyone goes through? i still don't know, and this is why we need the survey
Honestly I want a questionnaire about all sorts of things I did as a kid with answers from everyone in the west to see which are normal and which aren’t so much 😂
@@DanaAndersen the other thing like this that comes to mind, weren't all kids baffled by the fact that adults say it's 5 o'clock when it's clearly 2 minutes to, or 3 minutes past or something i asked one friend about this but she didn't remember it happening to her. that's not that much data yet tho Also they tell you to eat All the food on your plate and then they clearly leave scraps on theirs. ahhhh those adults!!!
“Social imagination”, did you make that up on the spot? Wow, that sums it up for me! When I went to kindergarten for my first school experience, I found it a rude awakening. I watched the other kids playing and I had no idea how to join in their pretend world, nor did I want to. The best part of my imagination was it was MY imagination. I thought the others played “baby games” and were loud, excitable and bossy. I withdrew into myself and at best I was an observer, but I was never a participant.
I wish I could claim I had, but it’s a ‘real’ term! It absolutely blew my mind when i first heard it because I could finally just say that instead of having to try to fully explain my brain 😂
I didn't know how to play the acting games when I was a kid either. Like cops and robbers, barbies, anything that required me pretending to play a certain role. I did, however, enjoy pretending to be a spy, inspired by Harriet the Spy. I had a notebook and I'd write down my neighbors comings and goings and always try to put a spin on it, like something nefarious was going on. Lol!
That sounds fun! I had an obsession of pretending I was an orphan who ran away from the orphanage. I was allowed to make my own minute rice and I would make some and wrap it up. It was part of being a poor waif . Then I’d go through the neighborhood looking for hide outs.
Have you seen Spy x Family? I imagine you might get a kick out of it if that's how you played. Not to spoil the first two episodes, but the elevator pitch is that it's about a fake family. Dad's a spy, who adopted the kid for his mission and needed a wife for his cover. Unbeknownst to him, the kid's a secret telepath with a spy obsession and the wife is a secret assassin. Over-the-top anime shenanigans ensue.
I wouldnt like how loud the toilet flushing was as a kid , i also hated how loud the shower was when i first turned it on also congrats on ur new place ! you seem genuinely excited and content and that's wonderful to see . it makes me feel maybe i can also get to that place one day where I feel things are looking up . thankyou for your videos !
I struggle to remember details of my childhood but some of it trickles back into mind when I'm reflecting. I'm not sure if I had much of a social imagination myself but I know I didn't lack imagination in other things. I could think up alien worlds in detail and draw them out with the various creatures that lived there lol. Edit: I had to come back and add to this comment once I watched to the end. Congrats on nailing down a new place to move into! I hope the move itself goes quick and smooth.
My sensory thing that made my parents furious, well past the age of other kids around me, was blowing my nose. I would not do it. That gross boogery feeling was vile. Also, congratulations on all the life stuff! You deserve a good place to live with some cool people.
omg first of all congrats on finding a place!! hope the move goes smoothly :D i also had an imaginary friend who was a pre established character from a franchise i was obsessed with when i was 9-11 years old lol !!
I had times as a child that I'd lose my words (I still do at times in certain situations). I was quiet anyway away from home. In high school a few times I remember some girls asking me why I don't talk and I'd freeze. I couldn't answer them. Then when I would talk at other times, they'd make a big deal out of it... oh she can talk. I hated being put in the spot light at that moment. I hated high school. At the time, I never knew it was autism. But I see it now.
I love your shirt Dana. I'm an old Dead Head from way back: think 1969 when I was 16 and hardly anyone had heard of the Dead outside of California and I was living in Minnesota. Have a great time in your new home adventure!
Haha I used to do the same thing, the toilet would scare the crap out of me when I flushed it, I would run out and slam the door. The sound of Gutter cleaning trucks still freak me out
I always thought I played like neurotypical kids did because I learned from my siblings, but I realized recently that I don't think I had names for my dolls. Stuffed animals, yes, but dolls? If they had names, I can't remember them. And yet my niece has names for all her dolls, some of which change according to her whims.
I have never been able to "make up stories," and even as a kid had little idea what other kids were doing when they played war or whatever. With the kids in my neighborhood I could play games like kickball, but at school I just stood there and watched others play. I sort of wanted to join in, but what they were doing always seemed so arbitrary. I couldn't even copy their behavior; I just felt no connection to it at all.
I'm 41 and still flush the toilet last thing before I leave the bathroom as hate the noise. HATED socks as a child lol, I would cry about having to wear them! I love being barefoot around the house. Just realised I'm too tired to continue. Havnt heard about your moving situation yet but will say congratulations now as I'm fading fast and probs wont remember to comment later. Hope all goes well and you settle in fast xx
I'm happy for you regarding your move. I can't really imagine moving w/o a vehicle. I've moved/ helped others move more than a dozen times in my life and always used a car. I guess it's because I'm in rural America.
Also! about _social imagination_ i Need To get this off my chest: ( _infodump incoming_ ) ever since i was a kid i adored stories. as far as i can remember, i always wanted to make story based video games etc etc but when it comes to coming up with the stories themselves, especially lifelike characters, or dialogue, or motivations, or dynamics, i just... can't for the love of god do it. like i know what makes a story tick, i know the frameworks and the recipees but i just don't know where all the actual elements are supposed to come from, when it comes to just coming up with something or someone, nothing comes, i blank out i'm sure there are plenty of good autistic authors out there and maybe they could help me out. the best i'm able to do is like, vibes, and maybe _some_ of the elements, but they're rarely woven together also when it comes to character motivations, i fall back to the fact that i have no idea what makes most people tick. like i know on an intellectual level, but it's so unintuitive i find it hard to imagine it myself. i can recognize authenticity in characters, just not create them intuitively if that makes sense i think i'm way better when it comes to conjuring up coherent concepts, cultural or abstract elements, worldbuilding, some plot points, spacial storytelling, literal viiibes etc and in the end i find myself systemizing these elements instead of just writing the damn characters and plot 💀 i'm having this epiphany in real time right now. idk what to doo, wanna make up cool stories sometime
yesssss!!!!! writing plots or setting the scene is fine ig (altho i would still struggle to do it on demand with no jumping off points), but i don’t think i could write a lifelike person at all. but i don’t think it’s impossible to develop this ability, if you really want, i believe in you!! or if it’s easier you can collab with someone and they write the personal stuff while you do the rest ahahah
Im so happy to hear that you have a new home, that is so exciting! Please do a tour of it when you get settled in 🙏 your content today is so relatable, i thought it was just me with the toilet flushing! I also can't bear the sound of vacuum cleaners or lawnmowers! Or drills. Good luck with your move!
I won’t lie, I’ve only listened to a handful of their songs and only when I’ve been… not so sober 😂 it was $3 in a goodwill though so I had to, I’m gonna get round to listening to them I swear!
So happy for you ❤ I’d love to move to a better place with my partner but haven’t had the energy because of burnout, can’t wait for it to happen though 😊
The more video like this I watch the more and more i become thankful for having been raised by undiagnosed ND parents 🙈. They unknowingly raised us in an environment that was very supportive. Sure I still had problems and issues and it definitely wasn’t perfect don’t get me wrong. But just for an example. My parents would have never encouraged me to talk or hug stranger cause they themselves would never want to do that 🙈. Nobody would make spontaneous plans or change them too much cause my whole family doesn’t like that … are we wondering why? No? - See what I mean… And I have such a hard time thinking about the autistic traits in childhood but whenever I watch these videos they come to mind and make me remember these more and more 🙈. There were so many signs … the real problems didn’t start though until I moved out and realized how the world “really” is and works and I COULD NOT deal with it 🙈. Mind you I had gotten diagnosed with adhd when I was 11 so it’s not like nobody figured anything out … but we weren’t educated and I just believed it’s a concentration thing only and the rest of my issues were just personality and I totally relate to the “I always feel like everybody else was given a rule book of how people work and I just didn’t” 🙈. So it was a big deal for me to get diagnosed with autism as well last year 🙈.
Socks and shoes are a lifelong struggle for me. My body throws a fit and i shake my leg and stomp and it's just horrid. Sometimes i get used to it fast though. Bras and belts are horrible too.
The "non-verbal" thing. I think situational mutism also called selective mutism might be more appropriate. They're trying to change the name or have already changed it because "selective" sounds like the person has a say in it. But in my experience it's just the brain having a kneejerk "NOPE not happening" reaction. So f*ck people who say it's a choice or "you should just try harder" Can totally relate to the clothes always being to tight thing as child. But as i've grown older it's switched to the opposite my clothes can never give me enough pressure while not simultaneously making it hard to breath or reducing mobility. Autism can really be a study in imposibilities and pure frustration edit: @suetaylor-owens6654 already commented about selective mutism
Have you ever seen the Dave Allen joke about how he misread the priest over the grave say "in the name of the Father, and the Son, and into the hole he goes"? The joke is really funny.
My husband wants to force my son to do the things he hates because of autism and to me it feels abusive… like taking a shower because he hates the sound of it, or something like that… I think it’s fine he only take baths
I don’t think it’s necessarily abusive, I feel like it’s pretty natural for parents to want their children to be able to do things, especially things considered ‘normal’. That being said, I’m definitely with you and think he’s fine with baths! As long as he’s clean, why does it matter?
@suetaylor-owens6654 Exactly! I don’t want to claim a term that isn’t correct for what I’m experiencing, but then the ‘correct’ term feels like I’m just deciding I don’t fancy talking to someone
Similar to 'nonverbal', I've also seen people objecting to this use of 'selective mutism'. It's in the DSM as its own condition, with a note that you can't diagnose it if there's an existing ASD diagnosis. So people sometimes get pissy about autistic folk using the word. I think there's not a word that someone isn't going to object to
I’ve also heard people more recently starting to use the term, “situational mutism,” for the same reason of “selective” sounding like a choice when it’s not.
