Autistic Female: The Beginning of My Autism Journey 

OH MY GOSH. I relate to the whole “is there a secret to life everybody else knows that I don’t” sentiment because I used to think the exact same thing! I thought that there was some big “secret” other people had to being successful that I just needed to find. Turns out I’m just autistic. 😅

Thanks for sharing this, Kayla. I'm on a similar journey and can appreciate how you're feeling.

Your opening monologue defines autism extremely well; we struggle with a strength many cannot see. I am 76 years old and the best lesson I have learned is to trust myself.

Now, just be yourself. No need to hide who and what you are. I'm 46 years old, found out about myself just two years ago.

I have been called almost everything on your opening list. I definitely felt like an alien as a child. I was like I am so different. I must be an alien in a human body...

I relate to most things in this video but particularily to the "I was always weird and didn't know why" part. I got diagnosed at 41 but at 26 I had a huge epiphany in the shower that I never was and never will be "normal". I collapsed in there and had a brief mental breakdown. I grieved my "normalcy". Since then I just accepted I am not "normal" and never will be.

Hi Kayla so glad you are making these videos - I have a channel called woodshed theory where I talk about my autism experience - glad to know you

Hi! Thank you for sharing this video. I can relate a lot with your experience. During this pandemic I have researched a lot about autism and have become pretty sure that I have autism because of many reasons, like the ones you mentioned. I have talked to a few people about this but they think I'm exaggerating and others have told me straight that I don't have it, that I'm fine, that I just need to take it easy or organize myself, exercise, pray.... And is so frustrating! Even though you struggle so much to keep you life together no one can see it because you have learned to mask so well you don't even know yourself. I wish you best of luck with your journey! Hopefully we will get a diagnosis soon and the support that we deserve. 😊

Very relatable. Diagnosed last year. Great video. Thanks for posting this!

Thanks for sharing. I am myself currently self diagnosed and have been for a long time. Starting now this journey, seeking an official diagnosis.

Thank you for doing this. I'm trying to get a counselor and a diagnosis but I can't even get anyone to call me back! I'm happy you are finding out who you are without the masks. I'm trying to do the same thing. It's helpful to hear from you.

This is so parallel to my experience wow. Thanks for sharing.

I’m also on journey was recently diagnosed at 33! Thanks for sharing. I subscribed 😊

Good morning Kayla

this hits home so much. this isn't a choice this is how we were created. to make fun or judge us is to offend God for creating us this way.

Yeah, the reframing, more reframing videos hopefully. Great video Kayla, This is one of the great ones and please make more.

I am also on the beginning road and recognizing everything from my childhood until now and realizing after finding out about more about autism than what I already knew realizing that I have autism as well and I am currently self diagnosing but I will be getting tested this July and to find somebody who is at the beginning stages like me is wonderful because it is difficult dealing with a lot of my stuff and other mental health diagnosis that I have been given which is borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and here’s one that I thought I had at first which is dissociative identity disorder and I realize I don’t hear those voices anymore of people I’ve alters ever since I started finding out more about autism the altars it started going completely quiet and I don’t even notice him anymore but I know I’ve been missed diagnosed with all the other stuff except for maybe the major depressive disorder generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD but everything else I’m sure I have been misdiagnosed what I’m trying to get my therapist and my current psychiatrist to realize that they say they don’t see any of autism in me at all but I see it I notice it I guess I mask very well probably too well but at least my therapist got me a referral to a autism testing center to where I can find out at least have peace of mind and if I do have it for sure which I’m quite sure of it I can work on getting the help that I need to deal with everything and how to work through things and to learn to drop my mask more

I relate so much to all of this. Thank you for sharing.

I don't know what can I say but still you are very cute ND pretty 💗 Luv you sis

Shall be just fine..

do you have problems sleeping like me?

I love the video can totally relate

Hello from Québec! I am happy I found your channel and look forward to seeing more videos of your journey. I am half way through the video and I can't wait to say that I relate so much to what you are saying. I am almost ashamed to say that I don't suffer from the lockdown. I am happy at home. I am 51 and in the process to get an evaluation. Just like you, I was relating so much watching videos of autistic women. It was like I was finding myself in them. I have a son (22 years old) who is autistic and a daughter (18 years old) who is having more problems now at college, just like I had. I have other diagnosis and I was afraid for her. Knowing when your child is young is a big help. By the way, the older I get, the more exhausted I get from masking. At least now I know why I am so exhausted when I have to go out or meet people.