Autistic Meltdowns & Overloads | "What's That?" 

I’m so glad you exist

Holy crap, I just get overwhelmingly emotional when I hear the proper response to a meltdown like this! I never knew I was autistic or that I was having meltdowns, and, although I'm finally learning about myself at 50 now, my family will never understand this. Thank you for articulating my needs and the needs of others who are also autistic. Times of meltdown are especially high-stress for everyone and there needs to be more understanding about it all and appropriate responses.

My car broke down yesterday and I couldn't think so I just started walking and crying towards a place where I could talk about it to someone who's brain was functioning properly. After 20 minutes of walking and crying a lot . I started to be able to talk to myself and tell myself that there will be a solution and that this is temporary and that things will get better. And saying no to all the negative thoughts that wanted to invade me. The person I talked to didn't understand at first and was mad but he then realized i was in need and decided to help me. Having another brain around was really helpful. I'm still not happy but I'm able to let go and worry less and have a little faith that everything will work out eventually. Which is rare but I'm grateful to feel this way. :)

I'm high functioning on the spectrum and your videos help me a lot.

I just found you, I am so glad. And you explained the meltdown very well. During meltdowns my people just leave the room and wait because I turn to a She-Hulk :) And they discovered the solution by theirselves I am very grateful for it. But if I have the meltdown in a public place (this is the most I am scared of)...it is another story

I have aspergers, and at the beginning of this semester, I felt like the world was crashing down on me, mostly because I've been trying for two years to get into this one program and I've yet to be admitted into the program, it's hard for me to talk to others so sometimes I end up having these "meltdowns" in my room, I usually just sit there because I feel uncomfortable forcing my feelings onto other people. This video helped me to identify what this was, thank you

My mother recommended your videos and I want to say that I'm really grateful for you saying this. Now I know she watches them I feel like she'll understand better and it makes me really happy. 💙💙💙

I second the comment posted below - you have helped me feel understood and accepted in a way I have never felt before. So very grateful you exist and advocate for those of us who often struggle if not find it utterly impossible to communicate a single word of what we need to; when we need to the most. Thank you for everything you do to raise autism awareness - there is no doubt in my mind that you’re voice and continuous efforts have saved more than just a few Autistics lives. Much love and hugs.

YOU ARE AMAZING. My 14 year old is going to watch these. I think it will help. It definitely helps me as her mom. Thank you!

I realize this post is over five years old now, but you (Agony Autie, I'm not sure how else to address you, the creator of this incredible content) are helping me save my life in real time, right now, today, just about two weeks into my startling revelation that I, nearly 52 years into my so-called life on this beautiful and possibly endangered planet, am, in fact, autistic. I believe this likely means I've been in autistic burnout for a very long time; that these daily meltdowns are not going to just evaporate and go away very easily, if at all, ever; that I'm continually shifting and moving amongst various confusing and sometimes very painful and embarrassing states and stages of shutdown, sensory overwhelm/overload and a host of other things that are making so much sense FINALLY (I'm not yelling, just placing emphasis on the word "finally" 'cause oh my gawd it's been an insane journey to get this far) that I'm continually both super-grateful and relieved and utterly confounded and, frankly, terrified for my future. So a humongous thank you to you, Agony Autie, for being here for me this way, for existing, for making it this far yourself and for helping me swim a little, or maybe more than a little, closer to what may finally be the actual shore of the actual place in this world where I belong, and where others will understand me at last and where I might actually be able to come out of a very dark place in myself. So much gratitude and love for you, for this, for all of us neurodivergent/neurodiverse people who, no doubt, are feeling (I imagine) quite a lot like I feel nearly every moment of every day. 💗🙏🏼🫂🖖🏼

Thank you! I love your editing, I find it calming. I'd like to see videos about shutdowns more because that's what I get and I only really hear about meltdowns. 💗

That helped more than you could have ever imagined, I have had a big meltdown that took only 4 days to recover from which is a big achievement because last year it took over four months with also a diagnosis thrown in. So its just what I needed. Thank you so much Sara. Have a lovely evening.

Thank you so much for making these videos! My brother is 13 years old and has Autism... The last couple of years have so rough because of his physical meltdowns at school. We adore him and always look for ways to help him. I really wish the school and society could be more understanding. I have been watching all your videos and now I understand what he is really going through. Could you please upload a video about the connection of having a diet free of gluten, sugar, artificial ingredients, lactose, etc + supplements (digestive enzymes, probiotics) and their brain? Also, a video for teachers and advice on how to deal with kids with Autism and to prevent meltdowns? Thank you! PS. I love your look :)

Thank you for be an advocate and saying how things like meltdowns and overloads are nothing to be ashamed of. Growing up, my parents yelled at me for throwing a "tantrum." They yelled and threated me that I would have no friends if I couldn't stop it. I would like to see them control something that they didn't understand. Even though my father has a real tantrum whenever he needs to get his rage out, ON US. When I have children of my own, and I am sure that they will be autistic, I will never threaten or yell at them the way my parents to me. Do you know how I stop "throwing tantrums?" I destroyed my own self confidence and feeling of worth FOR THEM, AND IT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH!! I wish I had someone in my life who was like think, with every fiber of my being I wish I did. When I get flustered, I start to think feel like I'm embarrassing my parents, which makes me start to meltdown even worse. Thank you so much showing me that I can be understand when I meltdown.

This is a great video. As an autistic woman just diagnosed last month, this will definitely help me. I was just beaten as a kid when I had a meltdown. Or held under a cold shower, or fed soap. I think your method sounds better.

Thank you so very much for your videos! I love how honest you are and open you are as a person. Having come into a diagnosis recently I'm just now learning all of this stuff and these kinds of videos are so valuable to me. Even though books are out there I'm a visual thinker so reading takes a lot more effort rather then Bing able to listen and rewatch. Anyway , just want to say a massive thank you!!

Found this because I'm in the middle of an assessment and had a meltdown in the middle of an assessment interview. "sorry you're in pain" would trigger me more -- I have a logical application of "sorry" and take it as an admission of wrongdoing, I'd be lost wondering why they'd apologised for my emotions. Also, you are beautiful.

You explain things in a way, that makes so much sense, I am a mother of a 24 year old Son who was diagnosed at the age of 3 and a half, with medium to severe Autism, he is none verbal, and does get quite frustrated as he can't communicate, and this shows quite often with aggression. It breaks my heart to see him that way. All I can say to you is Thank-you for helping me to understand my son better, you've done more than any professional ever has, Thank-you. Marisa ❤

I’m on the autistic spectrum. I’m 25 and I still have meltdowns. But they are getting better. But being autistic is really hard for me sometimes. I will cry and wonder why I’m different sometimes. My Dad found these videos and sent them to me. He and my mom have always tried to protect me from the world but they have had to take a step back and let me be more independent. I live in a group home now and I have gotten more independent. My parents had a bit of a hard time in the beginning. They read a book called letting the autistic child go. The book was by Temple Grandon and she is autistic. The book was hard for my parents to read but they are very proud of me for maturing and doing well. Thank you so much for making these videos.

As a newly diagnosed autistic, at 54 I'm so tempted to tag all the people on my Facebook list who have hurt me and tell them (many of them know) "Now you know I am autistic can you please acknowledge it and take back the horrible things you said" As for meltdowns I have a certain problem that I cannot get rid of, I cannot solve, and I get meltdowns which I worry about because I feel my safety is at risk. Once I banged my head, before diagnosis, took a photo of the blood on the floor and posted it to Facebook with no comment, but I felt like an attention seeker so I took it down.

Thank you Sarah ❤️❤️ this explanation helps me a lot in understanding and helping my daughter. You’re the best xxxxx

you're wonderful and these videos are an extraordinary help. thank you.

Sara! You are just great! Thank you so much! My day really gets better when you appear!!!

This really helped me understand, thank you! I have an 8yr old student with autism in my prac class and he was showing these signs today. He was really concerned about his lack of friends and could not focus on his writing. I couldn't interrupt the train of thought for the life of me, with anything, so I will try saying a few of those things next time!

Watching your videos helps me feel so validated in my struggles that come with my autism. Thank you so much for all that you do! I was dealing with a terrible overload today at work and nobody around me even tries to be sympathetic or understanding. It's getting to the point where I get closer to quitting every day. I don't know how to deal and self regulate around people who yell at me on a near daily basis.

I've had family, friends, people leave my life, call me crazy, have me arrested from seeing my lifetime meltdowns. My mom used to say, "that temper is going to get you in trouble. " like I could help it.

I am so happy I found you. I am a 53 year old woman and I feel everything you say is me. I’ve had meltdowns and my family had always called me crazy. I can’t deal with change I freak out. But my meltdowns are more of me screaming because I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take noise and chaos. As a young adult I hid these things and my family took me and I got diagnosed as bipolar 1. I am medicated for that but I still do these things. I’ve hid them from my family because they all just call me crazy. Without you posting all this knowledge makes me feel like I can just be me. But if I don’t have a diagnosis my family will just say I made it up and I’m crazy. I’m going to take the steps to attempt to obtain a diagnosis. And I wouldn’t have been brave enough without you. You inspired me. Sorry for the rant in your comments. I wanted you to know what you did for me.

Thank you I have aspergers syndrome I found this helpful

Thank you again for making this videos. I can’t wait for the next one xx

Wow that's made loads of sense. Thanks so much. Ive been trying to help my son who is 10. Your a star 🥰💕🥰💕

I am so pleased I have found you. You have helped me understand my 6 year old so much more in the few weeks I’ve been watching your videos than everything I’ve read in the last 4 years. Our biggest issue has been physical aggression towards us and his younger sister, especially when she won’t let him control their game or play. He gets anxious and feels out of control. She’s frustrated because it always has to be his way and she doesn’t get to do what she wants. He gets more and more anxious then just launches himself at her. I have to move him away and then he’ll either keep trying to get back to her or become aggressive with me.

This was very helpful. My son used to run away (literally) when overwhelmed, without me seeing any signs to diffuse the situation and I was so frustrated not knowing how to help. It helps to have concrete, logical steps that I can take to reassure him that I am on his team and that we can overcome anything together. Thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing! My daughter is 12 and she experiences exactly what you are talking about. I am so grateful to you. I can share your videos with her and we are able to discuss what she is going through. I feels so blessed to have you as a bridge to communicate with her about her hurt feelsings.

Wow! Wonderful, this is fantastic and makes real good sense! Helped a lot. God Bless

Your voice is so soothing to me

I seriously want to share every dingle one of your videos with the world!!! You’re helping so many people! 🥰

Haven't even finished the video and I'm already crying. You're not much older than me (I'm only 25 and you're in your 30s!), but I wish my mom were like you. When you were describing the appropriate response to a meltdown ("I know you're sad. I know you're angry. I am sorry that you are in pain. How can I help?"), that really hit me. Because my mom would just scream at me and tell me my distress was "not [her] problem." Talk about triggers and traumas lol oof Thank you for making this video, and the rest of your videos. You are an incredible person, and you are doing so much good in this world by sharing your videos and being the great activist you are 💜

Thanks for this video! I am going to watch others as well. Take care ❤️

Does anybody have a gripping pain? Like theres a electric gripping in different parts of the body. Or feeling so exhausted to have a conversation or defend yourself in a argument.

Excellent advice given there. Meltdowns are so misunderstood and triggered in so many different ways. You've packed a lot of great info into a short time.

I'm only discovering now (not with that video, I mean, aside from that even if it helps), at 32, that what I've lived my whole freaking life was all linked to autism?!!!! And nobody noticed even a bit?!!! So THANK YOU for putting this out there and making the efforts and all. It helps me so much atm, especially during a time of high stress and pressure I am currently in. It helps me regulate myself better. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I've been questioning if I have autism but everywhere I look they say meltdowns are explosive and angry and destructive but that was never me and I denied I had autism till this last month (and I'm 22). But hearing that people shutdown sometimes makes me feel so validated and happy. Thank you for talking about this

Thank you for helping me understand my child’s needs better. Ur amazing and so if your channel. So much love to you 💕

Because of the giant schedule and routine Change I had with school and it being online I almost had an overload

Thank you again for this ❤

I am so happy I found these videos. Thank you.

I think some attention should go to the sensory component. No amount of understanding can make lights stop flickering, and I feel it's worth mentioning that often the only solution is to go somewhere else.

I love your videos. It is so bad having a meltdown...

This was an excellent video - helping those who do not understand what is happening and how they can be supportive!

Thank you for this 💖

I like your videos. A lot of the emotions,Reactions and coping mechanisms that you are describing can translate to everyone including persons who are affected by anxiety, trauma depression, etc every day life. I appreciate your videos. Makes it easier to explain to others how some empathetic feelings work.

Thank you, sooo much, for taking the time to explain to us, how to help during a meltdown. I've got, an asperger, 10year old son at home, and its becoming hard to get through those situations...

Your brave to make autism known because in the United States other people look upon them as different individuals and would not want to be around them and they get treated unfairly and life is hard for them and I’m glad your bringing it to light because me and some of my other friends have to hide the fact that we have it because if people around us found out that we have it they will treat us different and get treated unfair I think you should do a video on other people and how they think of autistic people and how they get treated because you do a great job explaining it and how the mind works in that background

all of your videos are so incredibly important and validating. thank you so much

Thank you thank you thank you for helping me understand meltdowns better. We have 2 on both ends of the spectrum (not that it matters) To us they are autistic but that is just a part of who they are. The meltdowns can be horrid. I will try these techniques.

Excellent video / topic ! :) This Agony Autie - O - philes is exactly the direction we need to go in our autistic community! - Autism Awareness has been established - NOW it is time for Autism Action - Learning about ourselves, each other, our community - and each of us, making the effort to bridge this gap in understanding between our community and those who do not understand autism - Thank You Sara - You so gracefully carry this torch of knowledge and truth for our community! Come on everyone - step up and make a monthly pledge - Even a dollar or even 50 cents / month X 1000 will help support a true advocate for our cause! You can't lean on your shovel and pray for a hole ! Things will only change from the autism community out to the general public and you all know how much we need this change . Sara's voice connects with both communities - Give her the support WE need! Each and every one of us needs to do OUR part for our community by taking action, to make society better for our selves and the generations of autism to come.

Hey Agony Autie! I have to say that this video really made me realize something about myself that I've actually never even come across before in my 25 years of my life, living with my Autism. Also thank you so much for helping me with this hater I'm dealing with on my RU-vid channel, even though that it may seem like I'm trying to handle it myself, I'm even surprised myself how I'm still even making fun, hilarious gaming videos. I know, I'm a RU-vidr & RU-vidrs have haters all the time & I should be able to handle these kinds of things but after that person made that slandering video, making false garbage about me & now that I saw this video that you made...… I've finally started to see the patterns. Why haven't I seen them before, I don't have answer for that. But I do know this, I am me, I am proud of me & what I'm doing, no matter what people say. I feel like I have a purpose on RU-vid, and seeing how much you have done for these good, kind, wonderful, honest & respectable kids, men, women, families..... all of them with helping them learn & understand the struggles that they're going through & I know this from their comments.... it gives me hope. There are so many things I could've done, sure I could have a job & I could've been great at it but..... making videos to cheer someone up, either it's making people laugh or at least smile a bit or doing something that I believe that a lot of people would love to get involve in, something like doing charities, which I hope I can do in the coming future, here's hoping for that to come my way, or something just simply fun.... I wouldn't trade the love & happiness that I get from doing RU-vid, for anything. I will keep working hard & this hater can keep spamming dislikes all she wants, I'm gonna keep moving forward & keep bringing joy and happiness & it will be a long, hard road for me & I will keep looking into what I can do for myself, to not let my struggles stop & define me & how to help others too.

this was really well explained! thank you a lot for what you are putting out.

For me, the worst part is right after it stops. Then I'll feel awful about how I acted, and I won't even understand why I was so upset. Because it had been building up for a long time, but the thing that ultimately set it off is usually really small.

Amazing as always hugs to you SJ :D Regards D

Thank you so much,you have help me so much with my wife 😀

Thank heavens! Somebody else goes mute as well. I thought it was just me. I also have the other, but shutdowns happen much more often. I also find it really hard to go to meetings with other Autistics. I have to travel far to go there. I think it’s not accepting myself. I was diagnosed last year. Anyhow. Really helpful thanks.

This was brilliant 😁

Love your videos! I've been searching for a good channel for my 10 year old son.. i feel like you would be so amazing with little ones!!!! ♡

Thank you for explaining things that he can't.

GREAT GREAT VIDEO

I LOVE your hair! 💙

You are giving me BIG Chloe from life is strange vibes and I love that!!

Flight or flight I don’t want to fight and a can’t flight from my bed 😥

Love you!!!xxx

Wow ⭐ great info you sounded exactly like my son and me trying to calm him

I feel like such an arsehole because when I’m sperging out (that’s what’s I call my meltdowns) I get even more stressed if I have to make decisions and I get flustered and frustrated if people are bombarding me with questions, even if they’re just trying to help. I tend to get overwhelmed when I go food shopping with my sister because I have to make a lot of choices with her. If I shop on my own I can wear headphones and that keeps me grounded, but having to be bombarded with sensory stuff and decisions without that anchor does make me eventually shut down or need to be alone for a while. I also get migraines sometimes and I think that’s connected. My sister and I have worked out ways to avoid this from happening. It helps me to write a list, even just on the way to the shop. Having a target helps me feel less lost. My sister also doesn’t have to make decisions for me and we can have a very productive shopping experience and I’m able to do more during the day. It’s important to remember that planning and making these accommodations is not only beneficial for the autistic person, it’s also beneficial for everyone around them. The tools I use to help me manage my sensory issues I find help my friends and family, either because they use them for themselves or it makes spending time with me less stressful. And it isn’t to say that people think I’m a burden to be around - it’s just that they love me and they don’t want to see me in distress. So anything they can do to help that makes them feel a lot better, which makes me feel better because I want them to feel better. It’s all very circular, heheh.

music thoe🔥👀

😭I’m 52.....just diagnosed aspie and meltdowns have held me back. Lost marriage and jobs because I didn’t know what was happening .

Holy crap you have the most attractive voice.

i have very bad meltdowns where i punch myself really hard and end up with a lot of injuries as a result :( i’m not sure how to stop them. i think all the uncertainty of this year is too much for me to handle.

I was referred to your channel from someone in a group on facebook, I just had a meltdown and posted a vent post. My parents are most of the problem with my meltdowns, I feel lonely and scared, no terrified and my parents don't make that better because my dad yells and my mum seems to treat me like I've caused it by myself without any outside triggers, I hate melting down because of them, they make me feel worthless and horrible and although I know almost exactly what's happening when I'm having a meltdown, I can't stop crying, I can't calm down on my own, I only calm down when I've worn myself out, my dad yells and yells and yells at me and threatens to take my laptop off me and stuff, this meltdown happened because he wanted me to read something out on my laptop [he's trying to get me a new laptop] but I've always struggled to read things out when I'm asked to, if I'm doing it willingly, I will do it but I felt overwhelmed and trapped and my parents don't seem to understand that they don't understand, they say they do but they really don't because if they understood why meltdowns happen, they probably wouldn't be treating me like I'm misbehaving, I'm 19 and they expect me to actt like it but I'm not NT, I can't just simply not meltdown at the slightest thing, my mum says she has autism but she doesn't have my autism, she compares me to her alll the time "I can control my emotions" "I don't meltdown" but I'm not her and she's not me and she can't expect me to be like she was when she was younger, she didn't have a diagonsis and no one made her aware that she was so different, no one treated her like a fucking baby, like she couldn't do anything, even without trying, I've tried asking to be indepent wehn I was in school, I wanted to go by public transport to and from school but every time I brought it, I was either put into travel training [which I didn't fucking need, all I needed was support] or told I wouldn't be able to handle it. I am becoming more independent but I'm still dependent, I am not a NT young adult, I cannot go out without my parents, I don't shower without assistance [my mum has to set the shower up for me, I know how to do it but I won't shower unless made to]

I would love to buy you a cup of tea and I can now see the link but I missed it before because I was looking in the comments :)

I like your videos and I'm a newly diagnosed autistic person and my son has been diagnosed with dyspraxia and autism and follows alot of the same symptoms

Neurological Overload. Let's explain what neurons , exactly, are 'overloaded' and in what way does the MRI scan differ to someone being frustrated, angry, or grumpy.

Me encantaría que estuvieras subtitulada. serias de mucha ayuda para nosotros

I have had shut down in front of my therapist. When I get too upset, I freeze. I get meltdowns before my period.

I think I'm traumatised by my meltdowns in the past (when I was very young) because whenever I see, hear, think about etc stuff to do with meltdowns, tantrums, children crying/screaming etc I get stressed and a lot of the time start crying, help

I shutdown alot, but I almost never meltdown. Why's that?

you are perfect

a.. "friend" convinced me to try and smoke weed it only took 1minute to get me in a panic attack because i was having hallucitations (that's also the way i realized i am very sensitive to these plants) and it ended woth a meltdown, right after i had the feeling like i was dying, i had to grab the chair so i don't get up and run everywhere, and i was stuck like this for about 1 hour it took me 3 months to recover emotionally the only thing i was able to say was " call an ambulance i'm about to die" and that "friend" ran away because he was scared that was the worst time of my life and today, 4 years later, i am still having nightmares about what i saw that day..

🥰

I know a child, he often has these overloads but he's 3 years old. I don't know how to help him cause he seems not to understand my words. What can I do except going away and letting him cry or just protecting him so he can't hurt himself?

I have realy bad meltdowns

I’m 13 and sometimes when my mum takes my phone off me and I have a meltdown and I start screaming and it’s really annoying because she thinks I’m just being childish and haveing a tantrum lol

How do you tell a person that you need them to leave but you don't hate them or dislike them. I hate this so much

shutting down rn

Why r u so gorgeous😫😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 ur an angel

🌹🌻🙏🥰

I work with a autistic girl who is nonverbal. Whensometimes it is so hard because I don't know what bothers her and she can't tell me. Do you have any ideas what could help her?

Is this channel still active please?

She was born with blue hair

I thought that adrenaline was normal with anger or panic attacks

I thought this was Cara Delevingne

Who else came here from brutal sphincter?