"I grew up in the Catholic church" is Dad's way of telling him that he, too, was sexually assaulted by a man. It's the only scene that really choked me up -- the contrast in the performance by the actor playing the Dad when he was more the protector and a bit gruff and in that scene was remarkable.
'would you see me as less of one'. the second his father said that i had immediate goosebumps. incredible acting and a huge kudos to Richard Gadd to be able to tell his story in such an impactful manner. It is so important for a piece of media like this to exist, to destigmatise male sexual abuse. If any men read this comment who have suffered sexual assault in any manner, it does not make you any less of a man in the slightest and it is not your fault.
"I think you're gonna have a choice now, between a bi son, and a dead one, because I cant hold this in anymore." My heart 😭😭 Also Donny's dad screaming "Good luck with the transsexual!" On the train was awesome, hes a little confused as to the exact words to support Donny, but hes all in! Love him so much
His father was saying he was also abused, assumingly by a priest. Also, I think I heard, in real life, this lasted closer to 5 years! Thank you SO much for reacting to this!! You're the only person I've found who has! I'm obsessed (not in a Martha way ;) ) with this story and have enjoyed seeing someone else get into it too! :) I've never seen anything like this and am astounded by Richard Gadd's vulnerability and honesty and playing in the grey areas of a story like this. Thanks for sharing your reactions!
@@SevenEllenHow? Catholic churches used to be known for sexually abusing little boys hence why it’s a mainstream joke now. I don’t know how you guys were confused about this.
People often wrongfully believe that once an abuser is caught or sent to prison then the trauma finally ends. However, this is never usually the case. It's far more likely the survivor will spiral out of control, because the established pattern of abuse has derailed. The survivor usually goes into sink or swim mode. This is also a common behavior of prisoners who were incarcerated for a length of time and are now released. That feeling of 'freedom' can be so terrifying that they either don't want to leave, or they will commit a crime just to return back to prison. You said Donny's obsession with the phone messages was like an addiction. Yes,, for the survivor that's exactly what it's like.. .
Trust me when I tell you that the uncomfortable, uneasy, scared, paranoid and stressed feeling you felt when reacting to this series is all you feel 24/7 when it is happening to you. It strips you of everything and affects everything.
I had a stalker in my life, a compulsive liar in my life, and an abuser (SA) in my life. And I relate to Donny so much. I'm super empathetic, I feel sorry for people, and I understand that most people act in these ways because of a shitty experience they have had in their life. So you start to feel bad for them, sorry for them. To the point you make excuses for them. The idea of them suffering because you said something is so painful. You don't want to see them in prison, or killing themselves. You want them to get the help they truly need. But you can't be the one to get them the help because they scare you and hurt you. But until they get the help, you run the risk of the cycle continuing. It's such a fucked up situation to find yourself in.
Yeah there are moments I get upset at Donnie like revisiting the abuse and trauma. From listening to the voicemails or trying to confront his abuser. But if this is inspiration from Richard Gadd I guess it took a while for him to realize he didn’t do anything wrong. He knows this and is well past it. Very honest show.
don't think he goes back to work for him he went to confront past abuser and other still manipulative, is what they both want to hear for different reasons and he coaxes him into saying yes again despite this dissonance. He has panic attack after
In this last episode you failed to grasp what was happening in two extremely important moments. His Dad as you’ve been told multiple times was also raped at Catholic Church. How could you not know that Catholic Church is a synonym for child abuse? And secondly, when he wrote “I felt sorry for her” that was him writing the beginning of the play that led to the series. That’s how the 1st episode began, in the bar, meeting Martha. Just binged all episodes with you today again though after watching the series yesterday. Amazing!
As society we need to actively make assualt victims feel supported. Girls and women, and boys and men need to receive education on what assault is, and red flags before it, and no to feel ashamed or stigmatized. As society, we need to do that. Statistically it’s disproportionally girls and women who are assaulted, but boys and men are societally taught to feel it’s shameful and hide the crime they fell victim to.
this show broke me in ways i didn't expect. when his dad asked him if he saw him as less of one, i swear my heart stopped. it all gets heavier when you realize it all really happened to the actor we've been watching. a disturbing masterpiece that i hope gets all the awards.
Baby reindeer became the new Martha in the last scene. Because the bartender gave him the drink on the house. Just like he did in the first ep to Martha. Snet from iphoen
This series was incredible. It must have been cathartic but his vulnerability in telling this story is admirable. As someone who had to deal with this on a much smaller scale, I can tell you that it makes you live in fear and you become a prisoner of sorts.
The scene at the trial and the last scene with the reveal of the teddy reindeer literally crushed me 😮💨😭😭 The acting is so good that i forgot i was watching a show most of the time, it felt so real it's insane!!
Thanks for the reaction. It’s the vulnerability of the series I appreciate. He’s telling his own story and could have made himself appear a bit “smarter” in this, but chose not to , and it’s a service actually because sometimes situations are a bit complicated and not so straightforward. Logic and emotions are often in disagreement with each other, resulting in unexplainable behaviors. Coming out from something like this is not immediate, but rather a process. Much light and healing to anyone struggling ❤
My understanding of the last few scenes (might not be right) was to really show the gravity of Donny/Martha's mental states and the empathy we're supposed to feel in varying degrees for them. Martha getting her prison sentence (rightly so) then in comparison to Donny realising that the real reason he's a mess (his groomer/rapist abuser) was still walking around with no consequence/nothings changed.
7:30 Hope your ok man, its ok to show emotion(s), even if it means crying whether your male or female. I dont care what anyone says , imo its always better to let it all out than keeping it in, aa that won't do you any good and it shows that you care about other people , something a lot of people in the world dont seem to do today. I have subscribed to your RU-vid channel and liked all of your reaction videos to baby reindeer. This is supposedly who the " Martha" character is portrayed off. I'm not going to judge if she's done everything that was potrayed in " baby reindeer" or not , but this is her take on it all. It's not for me to say whether she is guilty of all this or not though. I believe there is two sides to every story and I'm not going to judge anyone as I don't know what these people are going through in their lifes. If it is true though then I hope donny is OK now and got all the support he needed to get over this. m.ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-mK-isQXd_Qw.html&pp=ygUVcmVhbCBtYXJ0aGEgaW50ZXJ2aWV3
I think a few words that describe the series in my mind is this: "There is no perfect victim and no perfect perpetrator" and specifically that most victims will not immediately act in the best way possible to protect themselves and that most perpetrators will not immediately act like a "monster". That's the two things that make very difficult to get support and police intervention when an act of abuse happens. Also this should open a conversation how the criminal justice system fails to rehabilitate and address the causes that lead the criminal to offend in the first place where instead of when the criminal being released having more clarity of why he got in jail in the first place instead is out with refined techniques to commit the same crimes with a better chance of getting away with them.
Lots have commented on this but Donny's father is telling him he was abused as well. The reason he visited Darrien was that he was looking for closure, realizing that that's where the whole trauma started. Unfortunately while he was there, he realized that Darrien didn't even acknowledge that what he'd said was about him. He has zero self-awareness and he can't expect closure from someone like that. The fact he accepts to work with him for the money, was actually foreshadowed in his first scene with Darrien when they talk about "Cotton Mouth" and Darrien says he's a wh*re of the business and just works on whatever comes up. That's what he's doing. The issue with Donnie is that he's addicted to the acknowledgment and the attention, which is why he's still listens to Martha's voicemails, because it makes him feel seen and wanted. It's an addiction, just like Martha was addicted to him.
The line "I felt sorry for her. That's the first feeling I felt." on the laptop was the very first thing he said when he started narrating all this way back in Episode 1. You go back and watch it. He said it the moment Martha first came in the pub and she looked sad.
One thing I find interesting about your reactions is that you don't seem to feel for Martha at all. Donny feels sorry for her. Personally, my heart breaks for her. She's obviously unwell, inappropriate, and most likely dangerous, but there's also something endearing about her. I can imagine she doesn't get much attention from men in her life, and Donny was certainly not innocent when it comes to the ways he lead her on and enabled her behaviour, so of course someone in such a poor mental state would latch on and never let go. Doesn't excuse her unhinged and downright criminal actions, but I never saw her as just a psycho. It's a beautiful portrayal of the often complex human condition. Her and Donny actually have quite a lot in common.
I understand your point and do agree that she needs help - I think I mentioned on one episode that she needs to seek help. I hope she has - the other thing is it needs to be prevented from happening again to someone else
Love your reactions! Please react to the real Martha (Fiona Harvey) interview with Piers Morgan. It's insane how she looks and acts exactly like the actress in the TV Show. Although the actress mentioned in an interview that when she read the plot, she could see the character very clearly that she didn't ask to listen to any of the voice notes to mimic her. It was pure talent!!
Thank you! Just watched this with a friend, and it was very hard hitting. Came back to watch another person's reaction for some catharsis. Same page, whole time. Subscribed bro.
15:46 I really really wish she could've done more, pushed or said something less selfish and conceded whenever she could see that he was going through something when picking him up from his last drug filled weekend stay over time
This was such a tuff watch. And I’ve been wondering if I crossed paths with this guy while I was enduring my own experience with trusting the wrong people while chasing a lifelong dream. Cause I was going to comedy shows in London 3-5x a week to keep myself distracted/in a good headspace as my life was crumbling. It hurts to share that feeling of knowing so much of it was my own bad choices. And feeling like I deserved what I got from people I loved who had promised to give me the one thing I always wanted. And the abuse doesn’t even hurt as much as the fact that it put up with it for so long cause it was gonna lead to finally fulfilling my dream… but it didn’t. When it came time for them to deliver… they abandoned me. Broke, homeless, and now illegal in a foreign country with the only thing I had left that I loved, my dog. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t rent flat, I couldn’t get caught by immigration, or they’d deport me without my dog… the only family I had left. 2 years I had to live a nightmare till I was able to get us back to America. And since then… well, I don’t talk to people, don’t leave my home, and rarely get out of bed. But I still blame myself, and completely understand why he acted outside what was best for him. Abuse breaks your brain.
Really sorry to hear you have been through this - it genuinely breaks my heart to know people go through things like this. I hope you get into a much better state as soon as possible ❤️
@@TheNerdyverse-DannyReacts thanks. can’t say things are great, but I’m safe at least. My dog died shortly after I returned tho :( I watch reaction videos to feel like I have company without having to have company… so you’re helping :)
O got through this whole show without crying but the moment where Donny’s dad hugged him I just lost it. It was such a moment of clarity for Donny and his family, Richard Gadd has my upmost respect for having the courage to speak out like this in such a vulnerable and honest way
I'd like to give the show 10/10, but, - and this is being nitpicky - I might give Netflix 9.5 simply for their decision to change certain things for dramatic purposes. I'd have personally liked the truth as it is, as fact is weirder than fiction, and this is the exact sort of stuff where the truth is infinitely more valuable than a bit of entertainment, even if it's excellently written, acted, etc. People are WANTING the facts on this. They're already asking who the real Martha is, or what she really looks like (probably so they can avoid her); the real one is apparently slimmer and in her 40s, but Richard Gann didn't want there being any risk of accidentally making a femme fatale as he's well-aware how stalking's been glamorized in films before now, so, they went for someone less conventionally beautiful. Jessica Gunning in real life is actually very attractive, and a very lovely person.
It’s mind blowing 🤯 cuz you sympathize with all of them minus the guy who SA him! The loneliness of the human condition made more complicated by all these devices and the Internet and computers! The art of real and sincere connection is being lost! These kids don’t even know how to connect anymore is very sad! we were meant to be tribal people and now we’re all just alone Islands
UK makes great content without the massive, wasteful budgets of US shows. We take a British concept like Ab Fab, adapt it to American tastes, spend a fortune, and ruin it
According to my google search , the inspiration for Martha is Scottish lawyer Fiona Harvey , and she is now considering legal actions against Netflix . I dont know if that is 100% true , only Richard Gadd and police knows the truth , but the lady fr looks like Martha , co it could be true . Anyway dont know why google deleted my comment underneath first episode , probably some very strict automod settings , i didn't say anything wrong or disrespectful , only that i cant feel sorry for the man , he was crazy too .. although i understand his reasons for that . Being stalked is rough , you have to act quick and strict , call the police immediately . Setn froum my Androuid .. xDD
All Cluster B personality types tell stories of an abusive childhood, false stories, imaginary stories. It's part of the way they present. It gets them attention and after they say it out loud they believe it and then it just keeps growing.
@@TheNerdyverse-DannyReacts it was a good production. What I am saying it should have been a movie instead or a 3 part project. I feel a lot could have been condensed
No i think the thing to take away from it is that he realises that he did nothing wrong by offering Martha a free cup of tea, he was just being empathetic like that bartender was to him. He stops blaming himself for all of this trauma following him once he met Martha because it truly wasn’t his fault. And he finally understands Martha, her trauma and why she was how she was. She came from a broken family and he was her baby reindeer. His one free cup of tea was just a cup of tea for him but for her it was him comforting her when she was at her lowest. And so she became obsessed and wanted him near her all the time.
