Bad Movie Beatdown: Total Recall (2012) (REVIEW) 

This episode was originally posted in March 2014, and has been re-edited for this version, running 40 seconds shorter. Cuts have largely been made to the film clips, and I've also remastered the episode in HD (the original Blip version was 360p), including re-encoding the DVD footage in anamorphic for higher quality. Hope you enjoy!

“Get yourself to mars” sounds so much better than “get to my apartment.”

Isaw an interview with the director who said when his I think it was his mother saw it she complained about the lens flare.

Please note that they added 931 lens flares in this movie (40 were in that first scene where Quaid/Houser was hit by that auto straight jacket gun alone)

a phone in your palm... brings new meaning to the phrase "talk to the hand".

I just realized he told his wife he wanted to go to recall and he told his friend. They just had to go to recall and tell them to say there was something wrong with his brain and he wasn’t a candidate, or give him some new memories. It is not hard.

We interrupt Total Recall to bring you the Bourne Ultimatum.

The deepest anyone has ever tunneled into the Earth's crust was something like seven miles, and they had to stop because the drill bits kept melting. Add to that the fact that the Earth's mantle and outer core are fluid and in a constant state of motion, and the whole thing makes even less sense. Of course, the original had some problems with physics too, such as Michael Ironside, who was on Earth, having a telephone conversation with Ronny Cox, who was on Mars, in real time. Apparently, they had faster-than-light communications. But even so, the original wasn't nearly as aggressively stupid as this one is.

Colin Ferrell hasn't been this afraid since phone booth. Also the goatee he had in the hologram scene reminds me of the one he had in Daredevil (2003).

Yeah, this remake was bad. I didn't mind it too much when I watched it on Netflix, because I pretty much resigned myself to view it as an explody-fighty-action-flick after the first twenty minutes. When you don't constantly compare it to the original in your mind, it becomes a passable popcorn movie. One thing I found funny was the new "red-pill-scene". When Bookeem Woodbine becomes annoyed explaining things to Hauser, it's like the director saying "Look, don't try to think about it this isn't really worth it anyway let's get back to the action mmmkay?" Good review!

Lol, those Hillary Bills from Pluto Nash have aged especially poorly at this point xD

Still enjoying BadMovieBeatdown in 2021. I like Projector too (recent) but there will always be a place in my heart for the hilarious earlier years of Matthew.

Farrell's appearance as Hauser makes him look more like evil Spock in the 'Star Trek' episode 'Mirror Mirror'.

For the record: That "17 minutes through the earth's core" thing isn't as far fetched. It's the idea of a gravity train. Which, if done with a vacuum tube, frictionless suspension and some kind of material withstanding the heat, actually checks out as far as the math is concerned. But of course, they managed to mess this up regardless; A gravity train would actually take some 40 minutes to go through the earth.

In the 1990 film scene where the doctor tries to convince Quad his current setting isn't real, the sweat proved he was lying because if the doctor was just an inserted character in a fake world, he would have no reason to nervous about anything.

Man I watched the remake when it came out, and I don't remember a damn thing that happened in the movie. But OG? Plenty of things, very memorable film.

@9:15 EXPLAIN this ... how does the factory worker remember going to Rekall if he's not supposed to know the diff between his fake and real memories???

What are your thoughts on Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter?

The Obama bills bother me immensely, because the movie is set in Britain and Australia. The only think bothering me more is that Quaid apparently believes you can implant completely real feeling fake memories of everything except water drops.

Gosh this is the movie I saw with my dad the year it was released and….I think I was mostly confused the whole way through😅 I later found out from a different review that the 90’s movie was on Mars something this movie references…… I remember being confused by the villian’s motives 😅 11.9.22

Calling that cgi cartoonish is unfair to cartoons, cartoons actually can depict car crashes well. I have no idea what that car crash at 20:34 is supposed to be, but it's not on the level of an average cartoon. 30:50 wait is that a slave owner? What kind of message do we have to take from Film Brain promoting slavers?

If you wish to do a remake, I would make a fusion of the Arnold movie and the short story, perhaps even making it closer to the novel.

Loving the Obscurus Lupa reference! I only get it because I was watching you both back when this was originally aired. :)

I like how they used practical effects for the robots

Jessica Biel had it rough. She's had to fight leatherface and R Lee ermey, and vampires.

I forgot this remake exists

This is the most grey colored movie ever. If everything in THIS version wasn’t actually real then this version of Quaid has a boring ass imagination.

5:59 🎵 _My country, 'tis of the, sweet land of-_ oh, sorry, wrong country.

Thumbs up for the callback to the “No Zone” song! Anybody else remember that from driver’s ed in the late 90s?

Ah one of my favourite Bad Movie Beatdown episodes And rightfully so for this shitty film. Nice work Matt.

I never understood the attraction of having memories of some awesome life implanted in your mind. You'd know it was all BS and you'd still be stuck in your own shitty life.

i actually really enjoyed total recall and the 6th day

After all Honey, we're married! Consider it a divorce!

The 6th day was pretty fun. Tony Goldwyn was pretty goofy as the villain.

My nana gave me the Blue-Ray dvd with God of War Ascension Dvd. I never watched, yet I’ve played the demo a couple of times.

I like Kate beckinsale, she’s really pretty.

10:32 Can we just appreciate how a 3-breasted topless woman was in a PG-13 Film?

Dude I’ve been binge watching your videos for about 3 days and they’re really good

Thanks for warning me about the flashing lights. Great reason to never see this.

Actually, if there was a straight hole that goes through the core and out the other end and if someone falls through it, it would take 42 minutes and 12 seconds.

Rule Britannia sung to the tune of Deutschland über alles.... Wasn't expecting that ;-)

I think the whole car part wasnt just minority report but possibly also spy kids 3d

Why The Earth if we can have Mars? Why a Matthias if we can have a psychic Kuato? Why Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale if we can have Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin? Why a tunnel from Australia to Great Britain if we can have tunnels through the Outerspace? Why simple rebels if we can have mutants? Why a copy of Blade Runner-kinda cyberpunk atmosphere if we have already a Blade Runner? Why a jumper Colin Farrell with a mobile phone on his hand if we can have a tough Schwarzenegger breaking hands? And most important...why Kaitlyn Leeb if we can have Lycia Naff?

I wish I could like this twice, just for the singing xD

Like to point out really weirdly the stormtrooper type robot things are the sith troopers from Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. Seriously they look Exactly like them!

i actually thought this was one of the okay remakes. at least it has better sfx and feels like the original. it’s always gonna be difficult to make a remake of an already great movie and audiences will have their opinion cuz of the expectations whether some wants the story to be similar or completely different etc. the film does have its flaws.

30:40-30:53 Clip of Midnight Screenings: Total Recall (2012)

I don’t like this movie that much but just to defend it a little maybe the reason she always catches up to him is because it is a dream. I’ve had dreams before where I’m being chased by something and can never get away

Man forget Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale is the better choice

I completely agree with your assessment. I LOVE the original but HATE the remake. Mostly, because it does take itself way too seriously. The original is always so fun with arnies puns and one liners and the comedy-cartoonyness of the bad guy.

I assumed that was the channel tunnel, and the No Zone they entered was France.

dude..this movie have even more lens flares than Battlefield 3 and Syndicate(FPS) together

At 36:26 Matt Hancocks career going down in flames

To be fair if the ambiguity had been handled better the idea of them invading the colony for housing or whatever would've fit in with the idea of it all being in his head.

This is making "Impostor" look good.

Review Dark City. Please do Dark City. It's one of my favorite movies.

May I request Lords of Salem. It's a middle finger to the watcher.

One of the big problems of this movie is that seriously, Kate Beckinsale simple always plays the action hero, even when she was supposed to be playing a villain.

Imagine if the remake went more into the psychological side of how the "not knowing what is real and what isn't" confliction messes with the main character. Showcase the depression and damage that something can have on a person. Add a layer where regardless of what is the truth, he now has more respect and appreciation for that traditional lifestyle, bringing about a sense of peace to his mid-life crisis.

I enjoyed this movie when it came out. My understanding was that they wanted to make a film that was based on the same book as Total Recall but not remake Total Recall, but in order to get the rights, they had to call the film Total Recall and throw in elements of the original film, which is why it's a bit messy plot wise. From an acting standpoint, this version has an amazing cast of highly skilled actors which I feel bring a touch of class to it. However, that doesn't really gel with what the original film was which was basically a live action cartoon for which someone like Arnie is a better choice. Viewed as it's own thing, it's far from original, but it's a fun sci-fi/action film with a great cast.

5:18 "Recall promises ____ is so real, you'll get your money back!" Does anyone know what Matt said here? This is one of the rare times his accent is hard for me to decipher.

Dear Film Brain, I really enjoyed this movie but I also enjoy hearing you whine about it in your funny way. For me, a Win/Win 😀

the main actors eyebrows makes him looks like so deeply depressed n saad all the time..he would be a better choice for 'Batman V Superman: Sad Affleck"

So when are they remaking Mathew Buck?

I read Dick’s story. There is no point in it where we see Quail go to Mars.

Just watched this film for sarcastic fun after seeing the new blade runner. It's stunning in how it waste's so much talent. That last half hour is so incompetent. I think the reason the poisoned cities were a train ride away from London is that someone had seen V for vendetta, everyone thought of the poisoned or plague-filled worlds there and figured let's rip that off too, and nobody thought of the science. Let's face it, if going through the earth's core seems reasonable to you as a backer, science is not a concern.

what a waste of Colin Farrel!

Yeah, 'cause it's not like the Outer Core, the Mantle or the bottom of the Crust can get pretty toasty, no, it's just the Inner Core.

I watched this last night after refusing to watch it for the last ten years. I immediately regretted it, from the opening scene. I'll keep it short and sweet. This was a piss poor remake of one of the greatest sci-fi films of all times. The 1990 version had an energy to it. This one seemed to be in a coma, and the scene where Harry was trying to convince Doug that he was in the Rekall experience epitomised it. There was no tension, it didn't feel like there was anything at stake.

"Trip takes 17 minutes, which I'm pretty sure is a speed impossible to ascertain." Earth diameter = 7,926.38 miles/12,756.2721 kilometers Travel time = 17 minutes Impossible to ascertain speed = 27,975.5 mph/45,022.1 kph Or, roughly, Mach 36

Great Review. The movie is free on RU-vid right now but the inner earth elevator just seemed to silly to make up for the lack of Mars. I think I'll pop in the Blu-ray of the Original now.

There is hypothetical technological framework for Elevators capable of moving laterally as well as vertically, but not to this extent. Honestly, aside from the robots and the camera sprayer, most of this future's tech seems LESS plausible than the Arnie Total Recall, with The Fall in particular being exponentially harder than a mars colony for FAR less gain

M8 I like your bad movie beatdows! I hope some new chapters are on the way. I also hope your videos don't get demonetized with the movie bits and the cursing, please don't remove those, they give your videos great personality, also the bashing is darn good, keep it up!

to travel the equitant of the diameter of the Earth in 17 min you would need to be going 44,971 km/h this is not including acceleration.

i spent the first half of this review going "but that's not dennis quaid, it's collin ferrel" /facepalm

I thought she was good in the film

which do you think is the better total recall film the orginial or remake

Your nostrils flare when you get angry .... 😜

Sharon Stone was great in the original film and she never overstayed her welcome as the film knew Lori wasn’t the bigger picture. Beckinsale was in the movie way too much and even had more screen time than the actual main villain because she and her then husband had big egos.

Not only is three boobs out of nowhere. But good luck Chuck did a much more conventioning digital 3 boobs in 2007. Instead of just having a three boob vest. You wouldn't think an extra food would make your movie that bad. But somehow they did it.

What? It’s called segregation between the middle class and the upper class. With limited space, it makes sense that future can be that way and I still do not understand why the future makes no sense. To me, it makes total sense that the film touches on the subject.

Kurt Wimmer seriously needs to be blacklisted from filmmaking!

Say what you want about this remake but its feckin oscar worthy at the side of Robocop.

It's Doug QUAID, not Doug Quail lol just FYI 🤜💥🤛

11:15 😆"Ooooo sparKLes"

The fall is there to replace amusement park rides that happens to have a convenient use

3:35, Damnnnn! Vin Diesel is aging ROUGH!! 😂

See you at the party Vwictor!

20:57 I’d reckon that old fashioned cars are better

Why do u Hate Kate Beckinsale

Total recall is still a great movie, it didn't need a remake.

Does anyone else remember they did an awful spin off TV series years after the original film was made?

I can’t believe I saw this rubbish in the movie theatre! But I was bored and I wanted a totally forgettable film lol

Anyone else notice how Kate Beckinsdale always has that weird overexaggerated swagger in any movie where she's supposed to look tough or cool? it doesn't make any sense given her tiny frame but she always uses it. It actually looks more like she's perpetually drunk but trying really hard to maintain control while walking.

Terminator Salvation is the best remake of Total Recall we ever got.

Holy fuck I love your energy in this one

when i seen you made a video about the remake..it was like: yeah i cannot agree more, ITS REALLY REALLY BAD. y good movies need reboot? well see the new Stephen King IT hope it will be good..even if the new kids looks annoyin, didnt seen it yet but i hope its not gonna be like the poltergeist remake

The sad part is that the actors did the best they could with what they had (as far as I can remember). I watched it once on dvd 8 hrs ago.

Wait this movie was a thing

There are many pkd story the can use