Battlefield V: Every Game of Conquest Ever 

This video was filmed in quite cold weather. And yes, we both caught colds. Now, as for the next video, I'm thinking I'll put out a War Thunder live sketch. That, or another one on Hearts of Iron.

“Didn’t we just capture that five minutes ago?” Conquest in a nutshell

Typical battalefield game, two people out of a 32 player team taking the point while the 30 other players are at the back of the map sniping.

Every game of breakthrough “We have taken control of objective Able” “We have lost our control of objective Baker” “We have taken control of objective Baker” “We have lost our control of objective Able” “We have taken control of objective Able” “We have lost our control of objective Baker” “We have taken control of objective Baker” “We have lost our control of objective Able”

They wouldn't launch a V-1 rocket At two soldiers... In a shed... In rural France... Would they?

That sten gun is higher quality than the real one. Best line haha.

WOW A STEN IN LOW GRAPHICS (Doesn't get far from the real thing)

"at least mine isn't made of cardboard." "It's still better made than most stens." It's funny just how accurate that is.

I loved the part with the v-1 at the end, the way he dropped the paper and looked up is exactly how I feel when a buzz bomb hits me

First kill was JackFrags😂

You'd better be careful carrying a prop Sten gun that looks so realistic!

“I’m just gonna stick you with this needle thing here” *leaks a bit, he sticks it in* “Oh god! Oh...wow...I feel amazing” -Battlefield V

Welcome to conquest. “We should take that objective” *loses every other objective because no one wants to defend*

2:33 - Accurate representation of Medic class weapons.

He killed JackFrags 2:49 😂😂

Me: places fortification Any explosion whatsoever: *IM GONNA END THIS WHOLE MANS CAREER

Expectation: 2:33 Reality: building fortifications on a small capture zone to have more cover then get it all blown up by a tank

That's one highly budgeted Sten beautiful

The most unrealistic thing about this is Jackfrags camping with an MG42.

4:00 how medics act when I ask them why they didn’t revive me 😂😂

Are you sure that was a V-1 and not a JB-2? :^)

Am I the only one who noticed? But the MG42 soundeffect sounds supicously like the one from Band of Brothers second episode where they catch the artillery position!

Dude lost his head from an anti-tank rifle round. Medic: "lemme fix that, I'll have you up in a jiffy mate"

"better made than most original stens" Sounds like a Gun Jesus approved quote.

100% accurate.

YOU KILLED JACKFRAGS!!!!

"I tried mele only". That reminds me when I had a bayonet on a rifle and instead of stabing someone with it, character rather pulled out a knife and slap someone with it.

3:20 Well, JackFrags is still breathing... :)

Your British accent just makes everything better

Bombing a shed in rural France with V-1 is the ultimate strategy to win

Youre not wearing gas masks and an open trenchcoat with rolled up sleeves as a black woman

Battlefield v conquest is getting two kills then getting blown up by a tank immediately after

“Jeez, and I thought gas was bigger in the last game...” I’m dying 😂

5 min video low budget cardboard weapon quite a lot of banter --> historikal akkurate komrade ^^ Nice vid m8

2:33 accurate SMG gameplay.

2:50 LMFAO u just put JackFrags in. Did not expect that.

It probably would take that many bullets to kill jackfrags in game hahahaha

At a shed. In rural france. at two soldiers. YOU THOUGHT...

**team has multiple tanks and are struggling to capture objectives** me an individual: **captures objectives by myself**

“Didn’t we just capture that 5 minutes ago” “welcome to conquest” Lmao

*Now we see Squire wake from his months long hiberation to replenish his food supply then its back to sleep*

I love you guys

"Thanks for the heal!" "That's what I'm here for!, or is it to get the best K/D ratio possible? I can't remember" That what all multiplayer games are about it seems like, fuck the game play, the fun, and the team work, I HAVE TO BE THE BEST!!! Is it just me or isn't that how its supposed to be in real life and video games should be the opposite?

2:59 Thats so funny XD "OI, GET THE FU** OVER HERE!"

2:10 me trying to achieve a kill with a repair tool

Ahh, the British comedy ... Good thing they were conquerers, otherwise we wouldn't understand it.

2:09 Flute theme (Under no flag)

2:33 That is an accurate representation of what update 5.2 did to Battlfield V

Well since Machima is dead i guess those are battlefield friends now.

That Sten is about as good quality as the Actual thing, production wise. Replace the cardboard for metal, you've got a proper gun.

1:40 " besides, this is better made than most original Stens". My favorite joke this week. 👍

These guys deserve more recognition for their videos. very well done guys!

I can easily see this becoming as famous as the Battlefield friends series from BF4 ! JUST give it a catchy name...!

It's so different when he's not in a tank.

There’s so many jokes within this. From Battlefield references to weapon design. Great video!

That’s just a lump of wood with a nail hammered onto it.” Cricket Bat: Am I a joke to you?

Taking shots at the Sten guns are we? Yeah that's fair

Dude . This look *AWESOME*

Impressed by your craftsmanship. Excellent work on the cardboard STEN.

bloody LOVED the rambo bit with the STEN lol

That sten gun quality. Dis you get yours from the first Battlefield?

"Tactically sneak proning our way to the capture point." *But why sneak when you can rush B cyka blyat?*

Y’all nailed it! Great video guys.

Here two years late, my god this made my month. Good stuff. Accents make it that much funnier. “That shack over there, actually!” Hahahah

Oh my Squire, where is your paper Enfield?

For an amateur skit, this is really well done. The acting, the filming, the editing, the audio.

Nice use of Jack frags name that made me laugh even harder

Can't say I'm as hyped for Battlefeild V as I, but I always love a new Squire video!

Where's the moustache sir?! No wonder you had an unnecessarily hard time capturing the shed...strategic point.

This reminds me of Blackadder.

I love this so much. Great work!

That's so funny. Good job. Very accurate. I like you merkd Jack. Nice touch.

I am so embarrassed at how much I like this. I am a grown man. I don't even play whatever it is you are satirizing. Or, God forbid, acting out exact game play. Anyway, keep rolling out videos at this glacial pace and add more sticky and warry type things. Peace. After victory.

Still looks better than actual BF V

That was amazing :D ! First time in your channel

Lol I didn't knew you before ! Great work, I loved it !

Grenade! *in german*

Be carful with that sten, the police might think it’s real!

The pattern I have always noticed : My team takes over half the objectives before the game is half over . The game is relatively slow paced , I usually fight over one or two objectives . As soon as we are in the lead and the other team is half way done , I notice that my team starts losing really bad and I get killed by someone I’ve never seen yet and they’re lvl 50 with a maxed out STG. Soon enough all the enemies push as hard and as sweaty they can and completely shut my team out . I noticed this pattern all the way in BF4 . My theory is that all the basement dwellers wait until the match is half over so they can get more kills , and then go for a shut out just by relying on one guy at the enemy base cause obviously he’s max rank and lives on the game, he never misses and doesn’t fucking die . If you’re a BF5 tryhard and you do all this I can comfortably say the world would be happier with you no longer breathing .

Excellent video! Thanks for the idea "why don't you build your own sten?!!" Definitely doing this!

This thing is more accurate than the bipoded lewis gun.

After a couple of days worth of thinking, I am proud to say... ...I have failed to think of a witty comment.

I love battlefield 5 but you guys nailed it😂 the conversation of being revived for the first time and the medic saying he can't tell between getting the best K/D or actually playing all aspects of the game was all too real, well done

A change of pace, but quite well done. Bravo, old chap.

This is absolutely my favorite series from you, the live action skits are superb! Somebody give this man an oscar and 20 million subs

Man whenever I stand still that long I always get sniped!

2:49 he killed Jackfrag😂

Not sure why this is in my recommend now, but I wasn’t disappointed! 😂👌🏼

Build a Lewis gun for the next video. Good luck! :D

I wish they had that uniform in Battlefield V....I'm tired of dressing like US airborne troops with British accents.

I loved the medic stereotypes at 3:25

You hit the nail on the head with the part where you were shooting at the enemy.

the v1 rocket in the end says patreon squire

Holy shit these new sketch videos are brilliant!!

Wow this was fun!!! Great video. Subing right now.

“That’s just a lump of wood with a nail hammered onto it.” -Squire

You should honestly keep doing these videos a lot of people share them around i seen this on reddit and Twitter already

You guys never seem to disappoint keep up the good work 👍

Very entertaining old chap, very nice after a whole day of school.

4:25 hahaha that ending killed me :D