Beatrice Chestnut - Type 3 Enneagram Panel 

Yes! I’ve reverted to my 9 arrow now

I relate to this statement 100%. 😔

Could you tell me if this comes from a personal observation or if you saw this on website (then, could you give me the link to the website pls) ?

And it's so difficult because you want to achieve things so badly and be so great at it, but then you choose not to and all this internal disappointment can drain you to become like an unhealthy nine.

So true this was the last two years for me finally coming out slowly

SO TRUE

Your comment touched me. I relate to you as a fellow heart type, self preservation 4. I wonder if we can fill that space in our hearts by giving to the world what we sought /seek. For example, you can make sure others feel valued just for being themselves. Maybe through a volunteer program with local kids when they are especially vulnerable to feeling as if they don't matter for who they are, you can teach them that they are enough. Take care.

My brother is a social three too, and couldn’t agree more. Just seem more grounded and less showy. Lol

I just got typed as a self-pres Three and the enneagram expert who did my typing explained it exactly that way- a gentler version, less attention-loving version of the social 3.

Yeah, sometimes people lean into the stereotypes to make things easier and more digestible, but it just causes more confusion in the long run. Threes want to achieve and be successful, especially in the eyes of others, but there are way more signs of success and status than designer labels and luxury cars. I like to tell people Jayne Cobb from Firefly is a Three. He doesn't look like a conventional Three because he measures his success and status by what a coarse macho badass he looks like, because that's the image of success in the world he lives in.

My thoughts exactly

😂😂😂

Take care!!

I don’t think that you can change your type, but you can definitely move into other types to balance yourself out.

You are one type your entire life, the very foundation of your internal experience doesn’t change

6 moves to 3 when unhealthy, so that checks out.

If I could hazard a guess, 9 makes a lot of sense for a few reasons. From my own experience, I had to dig pretty deeply into the Enneagram, bouncing back and forth between all the different types before finally landing on Social 9w1. I think the subtypings can be especially helpful because it gives a whole new context for the instinctual motivations. 9's desperately want to belong and feel a deeper connection to the world around them- as a result, they see parts of themselves in everyone else. I think it's probably safe to say you're not a 3. All of us tend to care what others think, but the motivation behind it can vary wildly. 3s have a need to project an image of status and success and want others to perceive them as such. Having a "normal life" without a career, family, or other societal marks of status doesn't line up with this. 2 is (I believe) the most common mistyping of 9's, because they both tend to pour a lot of their energy into others. 2s typically do it because they see it as a way to earn love- the fear being they are unworthy of being loved and struggle to give it to themselves. So only if they are serving others do they actually deserve love. Unhealthy 2s can often find themselves enmeshed with others, enabling toxic behavior and ignoring the clear asymmetry of their relationships. While both can neglect their own needs and get lost in what others want, 9s make it into an artform- the masters of "self-forgetting," sacrificing themselves for the collective. 9s tend to be much more macro-oriented and often don't really see themselves as an individual identity. They do enjoy helping others, but are more concerned with maintaining the energy in the room and finding balance in all things, morphing themselves into whatever is most needed. 9s are highly sensitive to the nonverbal cues of each person around them, especially if someone is not enjoying themselves. 9s easily become fixated on the little fibers fraying within the connecting strings and feel intensely compelled to glue them back into place, lest the whole thing fall apart. In my younger years, despite my social anxiety and genuine distaste for the college parties, I'd always attend out of what I considered 'social obligation." I was insistent on being invited to and participating in whatever event my tribe was involved with. Otherwise I feared I wouldn't be included, and wouldn't be part of memories. In my mind I would be forgotten, stop getting invites, and I'd lose my connection to the group. And that was absolutely unacceptable.

@@methodbriar thank you for your thoughtful reply, so much appreciated! Wish I had mentioned in my initial comment that I have really ruled out type 9 as there’s too much ME here-My needs, My feelings, what about Me???-too much Individualist, to feel much of what you’ve described. My local Enneagram teacher is also a 9 and so I’ve been exposed to her gentle, affirming ways for years now. There’s too much Ego here, too much 2->>>4 and back again for me to think 9. And yes, I LOVE the Instincts/sub-types and am so glad to have that rich and deep layer added onto our inquiry-it makes So much sense out of the differences between same types. Next I need to figure out the tri-types, have you gotten into that, AJ? 💙💜💚

@@rengegrace4508 Did you figure out your type? I have a career to show for and talents to show off, but I don't suit the book descriptions or the bright, colorful personalities on my screen right now. I was even an under-achiever when I was a teenager. I didn't start really achieving and working toward goals until I started college and the stakes were higher. I usually type as a 5, but I looked at the other withdrawn types and thought 9 fit better. However, I really think I'm in the competency triad. For the time being, I'm a 9w8, but I'm just really not that gentle and affirming either.

Literally my life.

if only he didn't have that 70's mustache lol

@@ladyamaranth, I could live with it.

I would check out core motivations of those types if you have a hard time staying with one, actions are more subjective than your motivations.

He’s an older man bro. You do know that we grow into 6s right?

@@YEDxYED yes I understand the growth of 3 towards 6. However this guy seems more like a 6 with some degree of disintegration into 3

I agree. He is definitely not a 3, but really wants to be. A 6 maybe, or a 9 fixated on 3.

@Tomato Trees look at him. Look at his weight, look at the fit of his baggy clothes, look at his fidgety and unsettled body language, listen to his excessive bragging. A 3, especially of his age would have mastered those aspects. Appearance and first impressions are the first thing people notice and 3's know this. Now compare this with the other 3 3's and the contrast is vast. There is clearly a pattern there. Listen to the way he was describing himself in school, it sounded more like vague, big talk to appear like a 3. He is trying to justify why he is a 3 based on their behaviours, whereas the others are justifying why internally they have always wanted to achieve greatness from a young age. That is the true 3.

@@Mike-bm6wc What's off about his weight and his clothes? Wtf lol

@@pedroantonio5565 if you can't see it, me explaining it won't change a thing

@@Mike-bm6wc Bigots are so weird and pathetic