Becoming securely attached is easy, actually

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15 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 238

@VickitaTrivedi 10 дней назад

The first 200 people to use my special link shortform.com/vickita, will get a FREE trial of unlimited access and an additional 20% discount 🚀

@AmritaMishraPerformances 9 дней назад

Earlier I used to be so upset when my boyfriend didn't text me for 2-3 hours because he used to be stuck in meetings and calls. He genuinely has a lot of work to do. I don't have much on the other hand (in my office at least). So I decide every time I feel anxious that he is a busy man, I am a busy woman too. I stopped waiting for his texts, and I get busy doing something, because it's my life and I am the main character of it. It doesn't look good that a main character has to wait for someone's texts. :)

@sandiipants21 6 дней назад

you need to get a hobby or find someone that has more time for you

@AmritaMishraPerformances 6 дней назад

I need to get a hobby. I'm too free these days. 😂

@Brainjoy01 6 дней назад

@@AmritaMishraPerformances i tell myself the same things, i think the dbt skill is called check the facts. like it's a fact he's working, it's a fact he's tired after work and resting, not ignoring me. it's a fact he needs to go do laundry and spend some time playing video games, it's a fact he deserves this after work. it's a fact he's never truly ignored me before on purpose. it's a fact he deserves his own time. it's a fact I can't prove he's wasting my time. it really helps

@AmritaMishraPerformances 5 дней назад

I completely agree! Most of his days are like, Work - talk to me for some time - eat food and sleep. That's literally his routine. 🥺

@nikki88875 День назад

I was truly a mess once upon a time but a good mess if that makes any sense; then I discovered that I actually preferred my own company and really love having lots of space. I found my calling and now I make lots of my own money and spend it how I want. I have unconditional love from two amazing dogs. Do I feel like I need a man? If a guy comes along great. If not I'm good with that too.

@Mmmmkaaay 10 дней назад

Cool earrings 😍 I've started dating again after a 5 year hiatus. It's so much easier when the attitude towards men is "I like you, but I don't need you". Interestingly, men are more attentive to me than the last time I dated, when I would get anxious or overwhelmed. Ladies, you are collecting data! Have fun and respect yourself. That will never lead you astray.

@spiritualhealer222 9 дней назад

I totally agree with both these comments. But at the end of the day, it's really not even about being anxious or confident and having that "I may want you but i don't need you" attitude, in fact, i personally believe that if you and the person are a perfect fit, and as they say 'meant to be', then no amount of awkwardness, anxiety, f ups can stop the union of you two. On the flip side, you could be the carefree independent and magnetic soft feminine girlie girl to many a man out there and it still wouldn't work because it's just not supposed to. It's time we give ourselves a break from all this to be or not to be shit and just relax and let us be ourselves. The right one will come at the right time, and stick around for ever. He or she would calm you down when you feel all that anxiety, or you feel socially awkward because that's what they are there for. To make you better. Together you will be stronger. All that goes without saying that we must work on our issues and do the shadow work so that it makes the journey smooth and also makes us better competent in life..but remember girls, there needs to be no pressure. Take it easy. This is for anything and everything that stresses you out -It doesn't have to be. ❤

@jessiy3mayacita 9 дней назад

Agreed!

@samanthamartinez5108 9 дней назад

⁠@@spiritualhealer222This is the message I needed to hear today. Thank you for articulating this beautiful thought. Which I completely agree with 💯 ❤

@kxqali 9 дней назад

I love this thread ❤

@daidipyaa 8 дней назад

offtopic but the earrings are called jhumkas, i love buying them. the best place i know is janpath near india gate ❤

@morselsofgold 7 дней назад

Great advice but remember there are still guys or gals out there that are no good. The right person will naturally SOOTHE your nervous system and be patient with you. No one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. Being 'anxiously attached' or 'avoidant' or a mix is not always the result of your attachment style. It could be the result of being with someone who is not right for you. The right person will help you feel 'securely attached' regardless.

@bundlewade 5 дней назад

Yes! Thank you. I’ve experienced this myself. With some people I feel very safe and calm; but with some other people, I feel unbalanced and anxious, and questioning my own worth.

@kammyo8660 4 дня назад

Plus- people are self centralized nowadays so no one wants to commit

@Mindsetolympics 4 дня назад

Yassss This part too❤ its about them being the wrong person as well

@Rachel-ij2pz 3 дня назад

So true being with an emotionally unavailable person will trigger anxiety always. Being with a code pendant person will also trigger it coz it feels like you can't breath. And this applies to anyone. I think

@hannahnfvideos1043 День назад

Absolutely!!!! I my past boyfriends I would freak out if I didn’t hear from them for awhile, I would feel jealous and insecure of other women and my boyfriend now, I have none of those things. I am okay not hearing from him while he’s at work, and i no longer find myself thinking that my boyfriend will leave me for any other woman more attractive than me. I am just much more secure with my boyfriend than I have been with anyone else.

@RoselySS95 8 дней назад

Girls LISTEN TO HER! I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 months now and my therapist has given me similar advice but in more detail. Not only was I a mix of anxious and avoidant, the source of my attachment style was emotional abandonment. I’ve been feeling so much better lately and so liberated. Dating doesn’t seem all that bad now bc I have gotten better with catching my triggers, being aware of my patterns, self soothing and acknowledging my thoughts and feelings instead of lamenting over them for ages, torturing myself. Follow her advice but also get therapy. IT WORKS!

@smokingcrab2290 День назад

Emotional abandonment is real. I'm married to an avoidant woman and I've never felt so abandoned in my life.

@CRose9205 11 часов назад

Therapy only works for women

@kayrae.b 9 дней назад

Girl you nailed it with the impulses. Truly it’s embarrassing to allow someone that much control over your thoughts and emotions

@karenkaren9913 8 дней назад

When the relationship started i was clearly am avoidant. But one year into that on and off situationship I became anxiously attached. Iike lowering my standards so much just to keep him in my life. It was crazy.

@smokingcrab2290 День назад

Finally got a taste of your own medicine

@nellyvibes2602 5 дней назад

1:33 gather knowledge 4:00 avoidant 15:12 anxious 22:02 healing

@soniavicente1754 10 дней назад

Fearful avoidant, and yes, it's exhausting. Turned off by guys who give me too much attention and drawn to guys who don't want relationships. I have a need for real connection and intimacy but can't stand it when some guys try... I'm working on becoming secure, and am much better. Been on a break, but it's easy when i don't let anyone close enough. The next guy(s) will be the test...

@paracoco1761 9 дней назад

The guys who give too much attention and the guys who don't want relationships are usually the same people. They shower you with attention when you don't want them. If you reciprocate any interest, they do a 180° and lose interest in you. When you pull back, they start chasing again.

@luv2luvya4ever 7 дней назад

Wow you just described me 😂😮‍💨. It is exhausting, cuz what is it exactly that we want lol?

@shizz3907 День назад

Nah don’t “test” this on men. Don’t test your own personal development using other people’s time and feelings. Too many hurt people out here are breaking too many healthy people. Y’all cause other people to need therapy after you’re through dealing with them

@soniavicente1754 День назад

@@shizz3907 when i say the next one will be the test, it's not a test on him but on myself and how i've changed. That's exactly why i've taken a break, so i can work on becoming secure and not lashing out. It's never about anyone eles but myself and how i deal with any given situation...

@CRose9205 11 часов назад

That's not an attachment style. You just need to grow up. I've known so many girls like you

@clearedhaze5264 10 дней назад

I feel like I need to watch this video over and over.

@kassie5779 8 дней назад

Same. Legit almost made me cry, I can totally see myself in what she's describing and damn, I want to heal!

@VickitaTrivedi 3 дня назад

@@kassie5779 Im rooting for you my love ❤

@emma_linneaa 6 дней назад

Love this! I had the same journey, attracted to emotionally unavailable men and not understanding why I wasn’t attracted to good men. Now I am attracted to secure, emotionally available men. It does get better everyone ❤

@roxanneconner7185 7 дней назад

I really like that you use 'activated' in this video instead of 'triggered.' It makes your meaning more clear than a lot of people talking about this subject matter.

@vibrantvessel 10 дней назад

You know whats interesting about this i just realized? In the spiritual community, they really disguise these traits mixed with intensity as a twin flame relationship where there is a runner and a chaser. Do not fall for that bs like i did in the past 😂

@chrissiarte 9 дней назад

💯💯

@kxqali 9 дней назад

Real talk! 😂

@jessicajackson1200 6 дней назад

Omg preach, i fell for that twin flame/ soul mate bull for years too.

@ShadowCatDreams 6 дней назад

What's a twin flame?

@mysticc6232 5 дней назад

For real! I was also victim to that scam 😭

@jessecaw.3714 9 дней назад

BOUNDARIES always. This is so key. Thanks for another great video.

@VickitaTrivedi 8 дней назад

You are so welcome!

@jkae109 4 дня назад

1. Self soothe 2. Setting boundaries (like a day by myself) 3. Voice ur needs (don’t be afraid to lose people if u set boundaries) 4 stop misplaced imagination (aka stop manifesting based on ur anxiety ) 5. Have a set of protocols 6. DIC (Date, Investigate, Change) (first 50% u have to do it alone, other 50% u have to do it with someone else) First 50%: Stage 1 - unconscious insecure Stage 2 - conscious insecure (the whys) Other 50%: Stage 3: gain conscious secure (go on dates and start monitoring what triggers, activate them, catch patterns and reframing) Stage 4: unconscious secure

@MaryMargaretteWhite-ek5tn 4 дня назад

I need to learn this cause once I’m interested and I know you’re interested I become “attached”, however I’m not afraid to walk away when I feel you’re not being consistent. This is why I need assurance often, and I give constant assurance.

@user-sm9tg4rc1n 10 дней назад

Please please do a step by step guide to changing your attachment style

@socol76 10 дней назад

Vickita it sound like you were a Fearful Avoidant (aka Disorganized Attachment), which is a combination of Anxious Preoccupied and Dismissive Avoidant. I am FA as well ❤

@VickitaTrivedi 10 дней назад

Yeah defo!! I just wanted to keep it organized haha but yes, it was FA. I hope you’re healing ❤️

@floraravin354 8 дней назад

Vickita- I have always "heard" these types of videos but today I actually listened for the first time. Burst into tears multiple times when you were describing anxious attachment. Asked God for help and I know that this video was it. Thank you for what you do. ❤

@DrLindseyM 7 дней назад

Go check out Dr Adam Smith the attachment specialist

@kelly.nicole 9 дней назад

I feel like I’m dying , I’ve been doing so much work and it feels like it’s never enough.. This sucks 😂

@haryel5058 9 дней назад

Lmaooo I feel you !🤣

@-Sunshines-girl_ 6 дней назад

Omg same.. And I'm getting tired doing so much of work 😂... Please share more at least i will not feel like I'm the only one

@thereisadevilinme8503 4 дня назад

same

@Animamundi139 2 дня назад

Yooooo I have been living in activation!!! 😱😱 And it is exhausting ! thank you for breaking it down like this ❤️. I recently started therapy to work out some deep seated issues that I think also contribute to this. I just found your channel recently & I really resonate with your content , the way you deliver and present it , and your own personal journey is very inspiring and motivating 🙌 I’m gonna check out The Feminine Protocols right now ❤️❤️ I need tools to help me climb out of this weird headspace I’m in . Thank you so much Vickita!!! 😘

@BruceJC75 День назад

Avoidants leave a wake of broken hearts.

@LorraineVirginie 6 дней назад

Anxious avoidant here too and yes it’s a nightmare, you described it so well. It’s really just kept me from dating practically at all to be honest because it’s not worth all the stress and chaos…

@smiles7631 День назад

As a man, I agree with you and have been put through it. It definitely sucks! Thanks for getting this message out.

@rwansays День назад

Okay, attachment styles aren't new to me, I've watched plenty from people who understood it very well but this one is what I think is the last one I needed to put everything into perspective and finally let go of being the old you Vickita. You put this soo nicely I wanted to cry throughout the whole thing, thank you!!

@kausha7135 6 дней назад

Currently Fearful Avoidant, but I've come a long way. Still working on it and I appreciate your video. In my experience as a Fearful Avoidant, I place a high value on my independence, more than others, I've observed. I want connection, but I get frustrated when I feel like I'm being held back from what I want to do. The avoidance kicks in and I start distancing myself. If they give chase, I'm deep in my avoidance. If they don't or they even pull back, I switch to an anxious attachment. I'm the cause of a lot of push and pull unfortunately.

@vibrantvessel 9 дней назад

Love the solutions you shared at the end!

@kristinajovanovic837 9 дней назад

I am FA as well. Therapy helped me, also opening up with safe friends and learning to show myself as I am, which is scary. My current partner is secure and it really helped me center myself as I was aware of my patterns (29 long years). It can get better but it will take some time - even years, so be patient. Triggers can still exsist, you are just dealing better with it.

@cvamaox 10 дней назад

Love this vid! Much needed 💕

@marisolarias408 7 дней назад

The way I related to everything you said is crazzzzy 😭🙏 I needed this information like yesterday! Immediate follow💗

@multiverse125 14 часов назад

Pushing him away until he abandons me to satisfy my ego “see everyone leaves” really struck me. What protocol do you have to be willing to receive love and trust it’s merit?

@athinasdesigns 9 дней назад

I'm so grateful a woman is talking about this. I only found out about this through another podcast that is mostly targeted for men but they had a psychologic and he explained the attachment styles. Thank you for sharing this. Many women will find it insightful❤❤❤. It's truly a self destructive pattern and nobody talks about this kind of stuff because most probably they never heard of it 😢

@infinity_luck5917 9 дней назад

I actually have both..and it's like living in hell literally....but I'm working on myself

@VickitaTrivedi 3 дня назад

straight up! rooting for you

@jessiy3mayacita 9 дней назад

Im aware of my attachment style(s)….however this video helped me so much on navigating through them moving foward . Thank you!!! ♥️😌

@Nocturnal_Lorena 8 дней назад

Omg story of my life! I was anxious avoidant but I transitioned into secure by my late 20's coz I wanted to be better for myself after I learnt you get what you are not what you want. Tysm! Love ya! 💖

@VickitaTrivedi 8 дней назад

Oh wow! Thanks for sharing your journey ❤️

@inspired11 9 дней назад

Love this! Have put it in practice and it works.

@OhYoohooItsYorkiePoo 9 дней назад

I'm also both. I classify myself as being fearful of men. I don't want the burden, the discomfort of vulnerability of liking or loving someone because in my head they already said no, they already rejected me. Now that's not true, but that is how I feel. Then on the flip I'm such a cling on, but that really embarrasses, I feel genuine pure humiliation of wanting to be desired or have attention. But if the guy who "rejected me" (w/e) anyways turns out, he likes me, now he's not at all someone I like, he's so wrong for me. This leads me to not date anyone. So I like a guy, I have concluded I am of no interest, I feel rejected, that makes embarrassed because I don't feel comfortable wanting to be liked, wanting attention, wanting this persons affection, so you know like I don't need that and they were not what I wanted anyways 🙄. Sometimes I just want to tell myself to shut up, so annoying. Like wooow you're so independent, liar.

@marieluvie 7 дней назад

You mean you dont like them after it turns out they like you?

@CleanSweetHome 4 дня назад

Omg dear I have the same issue.. maybe we can help each other❤😮 I came far in my journey but still dating feels odd. I need to have instant connection (not through app) to start dating😅

@CleanSweetHome 2 дня назад

@@marieluvie yess & I may switch from liking to using my rationality & back off, it's like mind vs heart battle

@smokingcrab2290 День назад

You sound crazy.

@OhYoohooItsYorkiePoo День назад

@@smokingcrab2290 I am crazy.

@elizabethgracefashion 6 часов назад

I think you completely described me when talking about avoidant attachment and now I’m going to work through it!

@HannahZiad 4 дня назад

I needed this to open up my eyes

@Calci4 6 дней назад

Amazing! Thank you so much. You explained everything so well!!!

@psartipi5618 9 дней назад

You are so well spoken and open minded. Very inspiring and informational!!

@VickitaTrivedi 3 дня назад

Thank you so much!

@chocolatelover1101 8 дней назад

This is so motivating. I keep feeling triggered and notice it immediately. I just have a hard time reframing and self soothing as I start to get upset bc I’m not making progress.

@jashhley 7 дней назад

You’re trying tho! Progress will show overtime as long as you keep trying even a little ♡

@masratshaikh3631 10 дней назад

Ahhhh your earrings are sooooo prettyyyyy!!!! Also amazing video as usual❤ I used to think I had anxious attachment but after watching your video I have realised it's disorganised and a mix of both. So very much like what you had and it's exhausting for sure!!

@VickitaTrivedi 3 дня назад

thank you so much!!! Sending you love

@carlfreiermuth5424 7 часов назад

nothing can make a person more anxious than an avoidant

@rgrandberry1234 10 дней назад

Yes !!!! Wonderful!!!!!!l Good message!!!!! xooxox Thank-you Queen!!!!

@bbybunny764 9 дней назад

Hi vickita your videos are always so helpful!! Love u lots💗💗

@carlfreiermuth5424 8 часов назад

learning about the attachment styles and myself helped me realize how manipulative invasive and controlling my mother is. some parents sabotage their children from thriving. we become conditioned into being deranged. it sets us up for difficulties to say the least.

@ElenaBerryFrolova 3 дня назад

This was an incredible video. Thank you so so much. Wow I am just so delighted your content exists.

@aspiringfemininity8626 2 дня назад

This was just such a profound video. Thank you. I feel so seen yet completely called out. 😀I have some work to do. Thank you again

@deeptipandey9794 4 дня назад

Thank you vickita for this❤

@vamikasmommy9487 10 дней назад

This is what I needed rn ❤

@sandram6068 4 дня назад

Wow! Thank you so much for this video. I was able to understand myself better. Thank you for giving us hope and tools to heal. God bless you! 🙏🏻

@lalottila4243 7 дней назад

I LOVE your videos! I also have an anxious/ avoidant attachment style and reeeeally see my triggers, patterns etc. while dating. Still it’s so hard to break them and self soothe… However I gonna keep working on it 💪🏼 Greetings from Germany! ❤

@RedDeadReverie 10 дней назад

I have mixed attachment styles now, but mainly anxious. I find with the anxious attachment it’s more about addiction to attention and validation. If I like someone, I just want open communication and to talk often.

@masratshaikh3631 10 дней назад

Same!!! And even if they are genuinely nice, they just might not wanna talk to you all the time (which actually happens a lot) and then you end up feeling like they are just not that into you and they are ignoring you. It sucks real bad

@vanessadamian2293 9 дней назад

Again thank you for your help ❤

@VickitaTrivedi 8 дней назад

No problem 😊

@arianawilliams8777 10 дней назад

Vickita, thank you so much for your amazing videos! I have been watching so many over the last year and I really appreciate you so much. You’re sweet, funny, real, raw, smart, refined, transforming and transformative, ah thank you so much for teaching me about femininity, feminine strength, confidence, love, autonomy, healing, and vitality. I appreciate you so much. I don’t have much feminine connection or influence throughout my life so you are soooo amazing in my life!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@VickitaTrivedi 3 дня назад

reading this made my day! 🥺Im so happy to have you in my universe

@lew1056 8 дней назад

This video was full of gems!

@tanniwu9222 10 дней назад

Thank you so much!! ❤

@VickitaTrivedi 10 дней назад

You're welcome 😊

@TheRuffler 3 дня назад

I thought I was doomed to continue having relationships that I end up sabotaging for the rest of my life. I also felt very alone in thinking I was one of the few who felt this combination of avoidant / anxious type. Thank you for talking about this and giving such practical steps to break the cycle.

@shizz3907 День назад

I’m a securely attached guy. the part I resonated with most here is when she said she snipped people off and removed herself from dating entirely until she dealt with this. Please please please do this. I’ve been securely attached my entire life and met a few avoidant/anxiously attached women in my life and needed therapy just to stay securely attached. Please take responsibility and stop hurting other people until you figure out your own ish.

@carlfreiermuth5424 7 часов назад

The anxious can be people-pleasers, while the actions of avoidants will show no concern or awareness of the internal well-being of others.

@megriley9841 3 дня назад

Girl.. this is so lovely to hear. Also a fearful avoidant so I deeply understand the cluster fuck 😂 great to see someone moving through it, this has inspired me to start dating again 😊

@swithheld9905 2 дня назад

girl, i feel SEEN. and that makes the avoidant part of me very uncomfortable. but also validated? I'm a mess.Thank you for this explanation of anxious-avoidant! It is what I've been looking for.

@bogdanaocheret5892 Час назад

Loved it ❤do you have same stage by stage description fair an avoidant type?

@FIZZZ_369 10 дней назад

perfectly said ❤

@dominique4432 10 дней назад

Reframing Triggers Phase I call it Positive Reinforcement Affirmations Where I affirm the best outcome for myself🥰🥳🧚🏾‍♀️🧚🏾‍♀️🧚🏾‍♀️🧚🏾‍♀️💕💜💅🏾🌈💃🏾🌷🍃🌺🍃 I'm just exiting a 5 year relationship. Not sure about dating😂😅. I was doing a lot of ppl pleasing for that guy. I had no boundaries or me time. So I am grateful for this me time and incorporating boundaries moving forward. Great video! Thank you! 🙏🏾💃🏾💅🏾🧚🏾‍♀️🎊🍹😄😁

@milarepa1234567 4 дня назад

Thanks for mentioning triggers- it sure would be great if we could rid our psyches of triggers but from what I've learned thus far, the real skills needed are, being aware that a trigger is happening- and that can be really hard at first! And, developing strategies for regulating those harsh emotions as soon as possible.

@amrzlack3506 9 дней назад

This is legit my life 😭😭

@tequilabumbum4373 День назад

Everyone has both anxious and an avoidant side. Having both of them but to a much higher extreme, would make you an FA, or a Fearful avoidant. Sometimes also called having a disorganized attachment style. People with this attachment style usually come from a home with a lot of yelling, abuse, addiction in the family, alcoholism, SA, etc. So pretty severe childhood traumas. Its the hardest attachment style to healz i know cause Im a true FA, and have been trying to heal for years!

@CzarKingBilly 3 дня назад

As a guy with anxious-avoidant attachment (aka - disorganized), I can say this is all perfectly true. I have the same avoidant reaction when a girl shows genuine interest in me, and the same anxious reaction when I’m into a girl. What you’re saying about addressing both of these is spot on and it’s what I’ve been working on. It takes conscious and intentional effort, and the ability to push back against your instincts. But the end result is worth it, and so much better than the chaotic alternative.

@diannaantes5262 10 дней назад

❤ Great Video!

@sarina9843 3 дня назад

I was confusing detachment to avoidance. I easily get the ick when someone likes me. This videos opened up my eyes I’m gonna work on myself !!

@fembot521 8 дней назад

That’s my attachment style and you described me to a T!! Anxious but will never stoop so low as to show it!

@anajensiebella 10 дней назад

Love it 💓

@ArwenEvenstar22 2 дня назад

loving indian women giving lifestyle advice it's something we can relate to now❤

@paulacollissatter2320 7 дней назад

This video was spot on as an anxious attachment style person with abandonment issues. I would love more information on self soothing, and healing. How do you get the validation that you crave without going into old patterns?

@SASA-bq4ot День назад

I have the exact same atchment style plus I feel like if everything is going too smooth even for the short time I need to create some chaos.

@shine8k 6 дней назад

being single is even EASIER than this, actually

@createa.googleaccount713 4 дня назад

Great earrings ✨

@sissa6048 7 дней назад

exactly me thank u for thisvideo

@paulaarosee 9 дней назад

the text example is so me, i’ll wait and wait but won’t text twice so it eats me up not knowing 😭

@savageornah7696 8 дней назад

Same I have the situation right now he doesn’t texted me for like one day but I try to be active like idc why would I someone that doesn’t has 5 minutes for me in a day?

@greciardz360 5 дней назад

Some men ultimately likes to be chased because it’s like showing to them that we are interested in them too, but the truth is that they’re in their feminine energy. The healthy masculine energy likes to chase because they’re secure and confident in themselves, they’re leaders, likes to protect, take care of the things, have initiative, takes action trustingly and doesn’t have too much fear enough to just sit and wait that everything’s comes to them.

@Cybele1986 4 дня назад

I always knew as a kid if my mother said that she loved me, that was her ramping up for a BPD rage episode in a few days time when she would scream at me and tell me that I was evil and that she hated me. So if someone shows love or affection, I’m *always* still waiting for the other shoe to drop

@GhostsRustyKnee 3 дня назад

I always thought I was anxiously attached until I dated people who were honest about their intentions. Turns out, I was actually just dating manipulative people without good intentions. At the same time, the fact that I go for neglectful, transactional minded people (because it's familiar), does make me wonder where I sit on the spectrum.

@gypsysundrop 9 дней назад

@VickitaTrivedi What sort of things do you do to self soothe?

@davedsilva День назад

It’s getting harder and harder to find relationship girls not ruined by bad boys who turn them into situationship girls

@junelledembroski9183 День назад

I'm all anxious I think, but only with men, partners. I'm severely avoidant when it comes to females and friends. I recently tried to be better but people constantly wanting to hang out is a huge turn off for me unless it's my partner. In my defense, every single female friend I've had has gossiped about me behind my back, blamed me for being the problem because I enjoy being feminine, and I am a people pleaser. I make a great cashier and caregiver, but when I go home, I've had all the interaction I can handle and I just want to spend time with my kids. It's not that I don't like hanging out when I'm in that situation it's just that I get more pleasure in leaving than staying. I'd rather be at home. Have a romantic dinner at home all dressed up and just be the elegant flower for one person than everyone needing to see I can be pretty when most days I'm dressed to clean. I'm a flower for one. I'm not a trained monkey

@anamaria-db7pq 9 дней назад

I have both anxious attachment styles

@Krwler 8 часов назад

You see guys, it was never your fault. You wondered what you did wrong but it turns out she was nuts.

@dipmalaahir9803 7 дней назад

I've both mixed, I know how messy it is. 😂😂😂

@elizabethgracefashion 3 часа назад

I would love to hear what the tools are to calm those triggers!

@createa.googleaccount713 4 дня назад

AMAZING Information! Amazing Woman!!! ❤💐💐💐🏆🏆🏆🥇🏅🎖💝🌹👑🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 SUPER THANK YOU!!!

@menmanom 9 дней назад

thing is, i never thought of anything bad, i never go into a relationship without trust, and i only thought of good things even iffff the things were going bad id say to myself like oh nth bad is happening, and then they started causing more and more problems that started affecting my health so i had to leave.

@ishtaneel8305 9 дней назад

Tysm! U sd avoidants cud self soothe by taking a day off. Anxious soothe by connecting, so how to do by ourselves? What r d ways to connecting to self?

@joecallan7029 День назад

Excited about full self driving 🚂 🤖 🚗

@jasminhabib5065 5 дней назад

Just letting you know both is disorganized, and I think the more I heal my anxious, it turns into disorganised. I think it's me trying to balance it out. But fr, I want to get so much better at it, not with dating necessarily but for every connection! It happens in friendships too. I think a sticking point for me is "why do I think someones personality being amazing is worth sacrificing my mental health and sanity?" because it checks me every time. It is still so hard. I hope this can help someone though, because i've been struggling with this a lot more recently as i've been getting back into the friendship/considering dating sphere. We need to remember it is possible to feel at peace. It just sucks because I was practicing secure attachment in a new friendship I had, but I was also developing feelings for them. Then they cut me off because they didn't want to keep hurting me (they were glaringly avoidant and me more expressive with my emotions) and then the attachment styles flared up again. Aaaaaah. But i'm trying. I will soon speak my peace then accept whatever outcome.

@Angelasalchemy 4 дня назад

Without telling you my whole life story but this exactly caused me to go down the road of being with an extreme narcissist and I actually got arrested even though I called the police for him to leave my apartment a 6 ft man way bigger than me and all I did was push him to the door.

@Rhjnkiitewsxbmlp 9 дней назад

I’m also a fearful avoidant 😅 Can you make a video about the toolbox/coping mechanisms you talk about at 24:09 ? ❤

@Jacqueline140 10 дней назад

Where is your couch from

@alxna 6 дней назад

i feel seen ty for this video :) but kinda confused 25:11 , how is it easy? did i miss something between stage 3 and 4? or do i have to subscribe to the feminine protocol to learn the coping mechanisms?(genuine question)