Being A Stay At Home Mom 

I really enjoyed this video! I have a college degree, worked until children came, and then stayed at home with the kids while my husband worked a full time job and went to school for his masters degree. I also was a "professional" volunteer. Loved every minute. My children are now 21 and 22 (both college students) and they need me in their lives just as much now as before! My husband always says that "he makes the living, and I make the living worthwhile"!

Marnie, you don't need to apologize for being lucky enough to stay home with your children. You obviously appreciate what you have and smart enough to know that a stay-at-home parent is the BEST thing in the world you can do for them! Awesome job, keep it up!!

From a guys point of view I feel stay at mums are not appreciated enough , I think it's very difficult to place a value on how important this role is , children thrive in a solid family structure which I think stays at home mum provide among many other benefits this brings to the family unit , I also feel it important to have a meal every day with the whole family so every one can talk about the days adventures . Well done for sharing you experience .

My mom was in the PTA when I was in elementary school, every Wednesday she spent all day at the school helping the teachers. I got to eat lunch with her on those days and I can't describe how special those lunches were, even though I saw her everyday, there was just something about getting to see her in the middle of those long school days that just made me so happy. She also chaperoned on a lot of the field trips, so we got to experience things together in that way also.

I'm a 24 year old stay at home mom with 6 year old girl , 4 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. I appreciate this video very much thank you

Good morning Marnie. I too, was fortunate to stay home with my children (they are now 39 and 36). It was the hardest, yet most rewarding time in my life. I wouldn't trade that time for anything. I felt I kept current and relevant by having a great curiosity for many things, ideas, philosophy etc. There weren't too many stay at home moms then. Even then, people would question "why don't you work" and I would respond, "I work very hard each day, I just don't receive a monetary paycheck." Fast forward...I a wonderful son and daughter who both have two well adjusted sons. Life is so great at 60. I look forward to each and every day. Thank you for sharing your life with us..........MaryEllen

I'm a SAHM to a 1 yr old and your video makes me feel less guilty about being home with him when he gets of school age. My husband has always supported my choice and of course enjoys coming home to a clean house and dinner cooked! I'm not sure why society has formed this image of women that we HAVE to work outside the home and if we don't we are lazy! I do so much during the day that i wish there were more hours! I love being a SAHM, It truly is the most rewarding job!

Great video! I remember when i was little some of my favourite days were the ones when i was sick because my mom would not go to work. I enjoyed that time with her. Of course our family couldnt afford her staying at home. So, its nice for kids to grow knowing that their mom is always available, if u can afford that. Im also a stay-at-home mom and i would say that another big plus for me is that im constantly moving doing something and staying fit. Good luck with everything! Xxx vic

My hubby and I don't have any kids yet, but my mom stayed at home with me as an only child and I am eternally grateful. More power to you woman! And thanks for all the advice I may get to use in the future.

I was a "working" mom for the first 6 years of my daughters life and the first 2 years of my sons. I am now a stay at home mom and feel like is truly the place I am meant to be. I know it's not for everyone (and I respect that), but it's what works for our family. My son has struggled with hearing problems since birth and has required treatments and therapy. I KNOW I wouldn't of been able to do as much for him if I was working outside of the home. I do sell things on Ebay and make RU-vid videos both as a way to make a little income and as a way to "decompress", but I wouldn't have things any other way. It's like you said, it's a personal preference and one that shouldn't be judged.

If a Mother can and wants to stay at home I believe it is the very best option for the children.

IAM a stay at home mom of 6,4,2 year olds. At times it's soo hard to stay home but I absolutely love it and wouldn't change it. I love being home and being able to see the kids first (crawl, walk, etc). Im so greatful that I can stay home with my kids so "someone" else isn't rising them. I'm so glad you put this video it. It really helps!

Loved this video! I'm a SAHM and LOVE it! My husband and I had agreed this would be my "job" when we planned on being married. We've sacrificed at times, but have always been grateful for me being able to be at home with our children. I have a high schooler and one in Kindergarten. Talk about starting over! It keeps me young!

As someone who is beginning the discussion of having a family, I really appreciate hearing your perspective on staying at home. Thanks for making this video!

I have to say I love the way you went about this video. I am someone who is usually pissy about housewives that don't work. I myself work full time and have the added 2nd full time job of "housewife". But after listening to you, I think my opinion was always based off my own mother who was a SAHM that was lazy and unhappy, never cooked, never cleaned, was never involved. And to me that was what I always based SAHM on. I really love your advice as treating it like a job. And that you have always been involved with your children as well as your community. In my opinion, you did it right!! And you should be proud of that. I respect everything you said. Thank you for this video.

I was a stay at home mom for 13 years and now work outside the home part time while the kids are in school. I agree with all of your thoughts in this video. Volunteering has always been and continues to be an awesome way to feel like you are sharing your time and talents with more than your family. I appreciate your comment about getting help with some of the household duties. I had never thought of it that way. I never did seek outside help due to financial constraints, but what a valid point. Working in a traditional job site, there are several people running the show! Thanks again for sharing.

Great video! I stayed home and raised my 4 kids~ the youngest just went off to college. I will never regret spending that time with my kids~ it goes so fast.

You are spot on! I've been home since 1998 and it's a decision both my hubs and I would never want to change. Yes we are blessed to be able to do it. Thanks for your video!

Spot on, Marnie, every word. I've been doing this for 16 years as well and I could have made this video. We have always felt that my husband worked so much, we needed for me to be fully there for the family. And we've taken the financial consequences for it, but it has for sure been the right thing for us. Great job!

21 years of being a stay-at-home mom! With the exception of a few years I worked while going through my divorce.. My now fiancé understood the important of me being home, especially when we moved in together, so I could build our family, inside-out! The years of judgement and snarky comments because I was at home "doing nothing to contribute" definitely entertained me...lol! It's the hardest job around! I'm happy to say, I've raised the most 3 amazing, smart, caring, open-minded humans I know, and everyone else knows! I've sacrificed A LOT over the years, just to be home with my family... I'm also very "1950's" minded, and wish more were like us... Just because I'm home, doesn't mean my fiancé disrespects me or thinks less of me...I know he admires me and what I do, and how I get it all done, everyday damn day! Now I have one daughter home, I've decided to go back to school and get my education! Something I never did and always wanted! I'm nervous, but excited! Thanks for this video.

I also stayed home and am raising my 4 children ages 19,17,16,14. I am college educated (RN) just like you and married at 32 when having my kids me and husband decided that when having kids that was best for us. i grew up as a only child and had 2 working parents that despite having all the wonderful material things we had, i had no parents except to do the basic things in my life, spent it alone the majority of time when not in school. I knew early on I would never be that kind of parent, that couldn't attend all my extra curricular activities and even my daily needs because of work related restraints (I had a nanny/caregiver) in place of a stay at home mom. This in my case marked my life, I realize not all people have any longterm effects from this. My husband and I truly enjoy the fact that I am able to care for my kids and provide them with at least one parent to be home when they leave and come home from school as well other things that a SAHM can offer. We do not drive fancy cars, and go without certain things, but thats ok for us.

Hi Marnie, I've been watching your videos for almost a year now but I've never left a comment. I absolutely loved this video. Thank you for having the courage to be so open and honest about your life experiences. I especially liked the part where you mentioned your husband was in the military. My husband is a supply officer in the Navy and I also try to get as involved as possible in the spouses group. However, I have definitely been slacking in the volunteering department and your video really inspired me to do more! If you filmed this with the intention of just touching one person's life, know that you truly have. Thank you so much, Marina

Thanks for this video, I love being a stay at home mom. I'm very excited as this year, my baby starts Kindergarten at our elementary school, where my 13 and 15 year old went, and ive really missed doing things at that school. As my older ones could care less that mom is at their school, but I love seeing little ones face light up when they see mom.

I'm 51 and have a son who is about to go into the 11th grade, and a daughter who is going into 8th grade. I agree that in some ways they need me more than ever. I'm so thankful I have the same situation you do, that we can afford for me to stay home. In the beginning, it was a choice that was very hard to justify financially, but we both knew it was the family we wanted. I have volunteered a lot over the years, but not as much as you. All things are personal choices and no one should judge. I think you were just sharing, and I loved this video. I never paid anyone to stay with my kids, but here and there I had friends help me out. I did have a cleaning service every two weeks for a long time. In small towns this can be very cheap, usually just one woman...I paid anywhere from 5 dollars an hour to 15, and those prices were set by the cleaning ladies. Ladies, I support those who want to work, so everyone should just support each other's choices. :)

I loved this. I'm going to send this link to my STAHM friends that are struggling with it right now. I'm not a mom. I'm an Army wife which means that sometimes I have a job and sometimes I don't (depends on where we're stationed). Six years ago my husband and I made the decision that I would be a professional volunteer and a SAHW. I truly love it. I find that it works beautifully for us for this stage of our lives. Women are so tough on each other for the choices they make regarding their families, marriage, etc. I'm so glad you posted this video. :)

I've been a stay at home mom, too. I agree it's a difficult job. Yes, a babysitter now and then was necessary to have adult time with the husband or alone, for sanity's sake! And giving back to the community is so worthwhile. One thing many people don't realize is that the summer holidays for parents who both work are just as stressful as the winter holidays. There's a charity near and dear to my heart that gives summer camp opportunities to kids whose parents can't take the time off in the summer to be with them. Now that our daughter is 14, I have a lot more time to volunteer, and I love it! Thanks for sharing, Marnie.

I stayed at home when our son was born. We decided to Home School and I would be making no income. ( I am a Teacher) We adjusted our expenses and bit the bullet because we felt it was what our son needed. We met friends through HS groups, had field trips, activities, etc. it wasn't easy but I loved it! I schooled our son K-12 grades. He is in college now and I am back in the classroom. It was worth pinching every penny to stay home and educate our son. I did begin a Creative Memories Home Based business and met more friends and made $$ for extras. I did that for 14 yrs of the 17 I stayed home. I don't regret a minute of it! 😃 Great video!

I love your bogs or vlogs, its amazing to me that here I am sitting at home in Ireland listening and watching a lady from America talking about exactly the same issues, concerns and idea's. Your advice is very straight forward, practical and all very positive which I love. Long story short, I stay at home and my husband works, when he comes home ALL TECHNOLOGY is switched off and not turned back on until 9pm!!! My husband is a wonderful man but he can get distracted, so I am here to help, guidance if you will ha ha. Thank you for your boggy things, I love other peoples perspective

Marnie, brava. I've been a huge fan of yours for going on almost 3 years now. I just love how you have your shit together, how your outlook on things is so realistic. I'm almost tearing up with relief from this video. I'm almost done with my first trimester with our first child. I'm so excited to say the least but also soooo very nervous for the future. I will be working part time instead of full time and this made me feel so much better about things. Thanks for keeping it real (as you always do).

I loved this! Kudos to you for posting this. It was thoughtful, insightful and thought provoking. I took the other route I was a working mother and man was I given grief for that decision. My friends and family always had something to say about how I should stay home since both my husband and I made very good money. Then the day came when I no longer had a husband and it was just me and the children. It was wonderful to be able to support my children on my own. I also opted to hire a nanny to pick them up from school, clean and cook. So when I came home from work, I helped with homework, read stories to them, helped out with science projects, baked stuff for the PTA fund raisers etc.The Nanny did not raise my children I did, she just made it easier for me to come home and do mom things with the kids. Let me tell you that was another "issue" with my so called friends who had absolutely no problem voicing their opinion about what I was doing with "my children". I finally got fed up with the Negative Nellies told them where to go and did me. Now all three are adults two have children of their own. None have ever done drugs, been arrested, they all finished college and are doing work that they love. One of my daughters opted to stay home with her children and I did not say one negative thing. Like you said, you do what works for your family. I think as women we should support the choices our sisters make. What works for some may not work for others and that is okay. Again thanks for posting this!

I'm a stay at home mom with a 15 month old. It's soooo true about what you said, "Your job as a mom never ends!!" Just subscribed!

I've been following you for three+ years now, Marnie.. and you're still a breath of fresh air. I may not comment often, but love your videos. :)

Great video. I agree with everything you said. I am a mother of one wonderful 6yr old boy. I am also a professional makeup artist. I am lucky to be able to stay at home with him and homeschool him (for now) but also stay creative and do what I love and be in control of when I work. I am lucky to have a better half who supports me in both being a SAHM and doing what I am passionate about (makeup.) I watched one of you older videos and you mentioned you volunteered a lot. That stuck with me. I was recently approved by The American Cancer Society and asked to volunteer for their Look Good Feel Better program. I hesitated because I would have to find someone to watch my son while I was away. I remembered what you said…."If you are able to volunteer, you should" I said yes and I LOVE it. It is so rewarding for me to see the joy these women feel when I help them. I am so glad I listened to you. You also talked about how you tell yourself being a SAHM is a job. So many days lately I have struggled with the never ending messes, dogs, spills, you name it…..I felt like I had no help. But telling myself "it's my job" has helped me so much. Why would I want to be anywhere else? Thank you for this video. It's great. I love it, I love you. I think you're fabulous and inspiring….now if I can just get back to making RU-vid videos…:)

I tried volunteering last year in my kids school. It was ok. The reason, I stopped, was because going there costs extra in gas. It might sound like nothing for some people, but we just can't afford any extra money going anywhere if we can help it. I walked a few times, also walked to pick up my kids from school, but the weather is not always nice for that. Instead, I focus my time and energy on things that save us money. I raise chickens for eggs and meat, garden, do all the housework including cutting grass and pool care. I also started youtube to share my tips and tricks on saving money.

Wow ms gold girl. I don't know how you do it all! Honestly I'm 26 (recently engaged) and I really look up to you. You hold so many leadership positions in your community while raising a huge family (pets are kids too!) and look DAMN good doing it! Props to you!

Dear Marnie, I am most definitely not a stay at home mum and I wouldn't want to be. I work 3 days a week teaching other people's kids (lol). However, I fully appreciate your decision and most of all the way you have gone about filming your personal views. You are so frank and kind. This is why I love watching your videos. Best wishes!

Thank you for this video. It was wonderfully done and in good taste. Being a military wife and stay at home mom, it's difficult to make friends after a move. Thank you for the advice!

Marnie, This video was wonderful! My children are now in college and most of their years while in school I was a Stay-at-home-mom and I completely agree with everything that you shared. Getting involved in various community women's groups as well as the PTO, homeroom mom, cheerleading coach and etc. was so important. Being involved in a community women's group gave me my own identity, plus being involved in the schools allowed me to get to know the kids and the parents of whom my children were friends with. Getting involved is so important for yourself as well as your children! Hugs! Karen

Great points! I've been a SAHM for 15 years. 5 children. 2 in college and 3 at home as of the 2014/2015 school year. It's been the most challenging yet rewarding 15 years of my life. I worked full time when my older boys were little. Let me tell you... sometimes I thought it was easier going outside the home for work. I do feel very blessed to have the opportunity to stay home. I also have great respect for all the women out there that work full time and take care of their families too. I used to feel guilty about having the housekeepers but you're right, everyone needs help to do their jobs efficiently. It's not always easy but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I seriously struggle with awful anxiety and have a very disabled 8 year old that has required over 40 surgeries thus far but I have always wanted to volunteer. I tried the PTG for a while but it was kind of catty and my anxiety was just so bad. ButI like that you talk about the importance of volunteering. I hope my sons issues calm down as well as my anxiety so I can do more of it. I have three kids and two step kids full time and they range from 4-12 so my hands are quite full. I think it rings true though that you spoke so much about having time for yourself, out of the house because that's where moms go nuts, literally. Although my sons disability has tied me down it has also forced me into many blessing as his condition is so rare I meet some amazing people through support groups. Thanks for this video Marnie. I can relate with you so so much!

Loved this, Marnie! My husband was also an Air Force officer and I taught. Listening to you was refreshing bc we share similar values in our marriages; I've been staying at home for the last 6yrs and while it's challenging, it is the best decision for our family too. I've taken a slightly different approach to reaching out so you've inspired me to make a video!!!!!!!! Thanks, girl!!!!

I became a stay at home mo in 2009 when I lost my corporate job due to downsizing. It was a very hard journey being at home but worth it to spend time with my boys while they were young. I'm going back full time and my hours are early so I will be able to be with my boys when they get home from school. Kudos to you for giving back while having the opportunity to stay at home. PTA parents are so important to the success of our schools.

Thankyou so much for sharing and making me feel like I'm not alone. I am a 36 year old first time mum to my gorgeous 20 month old son. Huge transition for me to say the least. You have given me some wonderful ideas and a lot of support in this video, thankyou :)

Enjoyed this Marnie. I've always been a working mum but have always volunteered as well. It's a great way to meet people in your local community and to get to know the Parents of your children's friends.

I think it's great that you started this conversation. I "retired" from nursing when I had my first child and started a home business as my source of income, which, 16 years later, is still working for me. The one thing that I did, rather than hire a babysitter, was have my husband watch our son while I went out for some "me" time. I wanted him to experience what I went through on a day to day basis with the baby. This too worked out quite well :)

Well said. Especially loved what you said about volunteering at your children's school. In my neck of the woods, our version of the PTA is a PAC (Parent Advisory Committee) and active parents benefit everyone! Volunteering at the school has also given me and my children common ground and I love knowing their friends. As my "baby" heads to high school (grade 8 here) I find myself navigating new waters and investigating new ways to stay involved. I really appreciated your respectful attitude toward the multitude of choices out there for families. It is so easy to devalue the choices of others in order to validate our own choices. Glad you and your husband successfully negotiated roles that work for you.

I think being home with your kids is awesome. I was a work at home mom until my youngest was a junior in high school and I think it was the best thing for all of us. My girls are 18 and 26 now, out of the home and I'm working towards being able to work from home again. I had gotten so used to it and I missed it just in the short time I worked out of the house.

Hey Marnie, great video. I found it while searching anxiety and depression for stay at home moms and although you didn't touch on it specifically it was helpful to have the reminder that this hard stage with an infant and a toddler and a busy husband will not last forever. It's been 5+ months that I haven't slept through the night and getting up to get ready in the morning seems impossible but I know I feel better when I do. Thank you for the good reminders.

Marnie, I have to say that I support you in this topic. My mom stayed home with us until my brother was old enough for school. Even then, her job was at the school we went to so we saw her there every day. SAHMom rock!

If your arrangement works for your marriage - hoorah! I envy (in a good way) that you're a stay-at-home mother/housewife. I personally think that even though there is more awareness and respect for this role, it will always be understated. Being able to contribute to your family full time is a priceless contribution. Continued success in your lifestyle and community contributions.

I'm 43 and a SAHM to a 6 year old and a 3 year old. It is the best thing I have ever done, but also the hardest thing I have ever done. It can be so draining, and so ...so....hmmm. Tiring? Annoying? Lonely? But at the same time great and I love being so prsent for my children. I also know I am so lucky to be fortuntae enough to be able to stay home. Anyway, thanks for the video! I feel like we have a lot in common and it is nice to have found videos from someone I can actually relate to.

Dear Marnie, I had my first child at age 35. I couldn't wait to get back to work, I got extended time off from work for 6 months. But I couldn't do it, so my husband and I decided to wait and see. But when my baby was almost 10 months old I became pregnant again. So decided to enjoy my 2nd pregnancy while enjoying my baby. The first two years were very hard, I missed work and adult conversation so I joined MOPS group once/week. Then started loving being home with the kids. Even after the kids started school I thought I might consider part time, but I decided to volunteer at school. I can't tell you how many times the kids would forget something or got sick, I was able to accommodate. Now I have three kids 19, 17 soon 18 and 14. My husband used to tease me all the time by asking me "when are you going back to work", because that's all I said for 2 years. My kids really appreciate me being stay home mom and they tell this all the time. I never ever regretted it. I LOVED MY LIFE BEING HOME AND STILL DOES.

Thank you for this very enlightening video. I really needed this today. I am a wife and stay at home mom. One of my children has been diagnosed with autism. He is 12 years old. Some days are harder than others today was one of them

GREAT video! I have been a home-maker/stay at home mom for 23 years and can relate with everything you said. I have friends who have transitioned from career to stay-at-home and find that working outside from home was much easier, less tiring ,ha! Here's a tip for people who may not have the option of paying for extra help; when my children were toddlers, I made friends with 2 other women who were in my same situation. We took turns gathering at one of our homes and 2 of us cleaned while one watched the kiddos...or we cooked make-ahead meals together and took advantage of purchasing groceries in bulk. I hope someone finds this helpful, aloha!

I admire your choice for being a stay at home mom. Many assume it's an easy choice, but to put career dreams on hold takes a lot of fortitude.

Thank you for this video. I am a mother of three young daughters and have worked full-time (and then some) for the past 6 years of being a mother. I am quickly approaching the stay-at-home/work-at-home status and I am so scared. Scared of losing my identity - my skillset - my connections.... your words spoke to me. Thank you for sharing - I found it very reassuring!

Marnie, this video sounded more like being a volunteer, I would have like to hear more about stayng at home and why. I was a stay at home mom because I felt that was my job. I volunteered almost everyday at the school to be with the kids and have never felt truly appreciated for that. I would like to hear more about what it was like for you to be the one at HOME with the kids, just my opinion. Don't get me wrong I think volunteering is wonderful and a great way to meet people but not the title to this video. Sorry.

You did a great job on the video. I am a fixture in my sons school and volunteer as much as humanly possible. Feels good to the soul. xoxo

This was a well done video, and it didn't seem judgmental to me at all. You've done a great job finding a balance between meeting your family's needs and your own needs. I am a SAHM with a 13 year old daughter whom I homeschool. I find myself at times feeling lonely, and have decided to look more into volunteering, and involving my daughter too. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for making this video and for being so open and honest! DH and I are moving our family from Chicago to Texas in Feb 2015 and I too will become a proud stay at home mommy to our 3 children! I'm nervous about so much as you can imagine. I was born/raised in Chicago and will miss my family/friends. Many changes to come, but I'm staying positive and looking forward to our adventure. Please continue to share!

Marnie, I really really enjoyed this video! I didn't find it "preachy" at all :) My mom is a stay at home Mom and works harder than most people at my corporate job. I loved growing up the way I did, I had a babysitter/nanny a couple days a week while she went and helped my Dad at our family business and I loved it! Stay at home mom's do NOT get enough credit. I too want to be a stay at home mom when my husband and I have kids, I think it's the greatest job in the world! I appreciated your fresh perspective on the matter, as most people do think it's very 1950's. Thanks for doing this video! :)

I was interested to hear your thoughts - not because I'm a SAHM, but because when I gave up work to look after my disabled husband, I was presented with many of the same frustrations that you talk about. Eventually I got to volunteering and I think it's a great way to meet people whatever your age or circumstances and to feel the fulfilment of doing something for others. I'm enjoying going back over your older videos at the moment!

I think you're a very admirable mother. I think it's great that you know what makes you happy because a happy mom makes happy kids! My parents both worked full time and my grandma was like a stay at home mom for me. I think it's wonderful if someone can give all of that attention and support to the children without relying on daycare and less personal means of child care. Great video!

I feel that I need to share this with all of my friends with children, especially those that SAH. I loved your comment about how you shouldn't beat yourself up for needing help.

almost 2 years later and I still love this video! One of your best, as far as I am concerned, Marnie.

I enjoyed this so much! I could relate very well because I am a stay at home mom of three, full time volunteer at the children's hospital, and part-time RU-vidr! Congrats on 4 years of YT...I love your channel! xo Jen

hi marnie. I too was a stay at home mum from the age of 17 until I was 50, in that time I was blessed to have 5 sons and 1 daughter. I loved my time at home and although I got some comments on it on the whole most people were quite envious I could be at home. I chose to do without a lot of stuff my working friends had but really looking back it was only the odd girls spa break or a shopping trip to London. I've been working 6 years and love it but I know I made the best choice for me and my family and I've no regrets. Feel very proud Marnie your boys will be away before you know it. x

LOVE everything about this, Marnie. I actually never even considered volunteering or being involved with the PTA before you mentioned it a few years ago in a video. I'm not actively involved in the elementary, middle and soon to be high school where my kids go. I feel like I'm busier than ever, but the time is just flying by! I, too, have been a SAHM since my eldest was born and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We also have a "retro" marriage/family life and it works perfectly for us as well. :)

I've stayed at home the majority of 16 years...and it's been the absolute best decision for my family. I'm the CEO of my house and it wouldn't run so well without me. I can't understand why some people get such a chip on their shoulder about our (my husband and myself) choice. I still get the question..."Are you EVER going back to work?" I DO work! We're also very traditional...my husband is the outside guy and I'm the inside person. I LOVE what I do! I've been thinking about what I'm going to do in the next few years. My son is 16 and my daughter is 14...we'll see what the future holds. Thanks for doing this video Marnie!!

I LOVE this. I am a stay at home mom and have been for 11 years. I could not agree with you more about the volunteering. It helps so much for developing a spencer se of worth outside your family. Nice work with the video. You did it well.

I have to tell you.. Thank you for doing this video! As a stay at home mom/stepmom to six kids from ages 4- 13, nothing is more irritating to me when someone asks me whether I work when I tell them I stay at home.. I feel like saying "why don't you come over and give it a whirl for a few days and tell me if it's work!" And it can be very isolating when the kids are young/uninvolved in activities... When multiple days go by without interacting with other adults and you start picking the leftovers off the kids plates and calling that your dinner, you know it's time to get out! Much Love xox

Marnie, I'm so glad you shared this video. I left the classroom 2 years ago when my son was born so I know that parents like you can dramatically change a school for the better. I also volunteer with at risk children and find it to be one of the most rewarding parts of my week...other than being with my son of course. Thank you so much for your advice.

Thanks so much for responding! I battle back and forth with quiet time, as I feel guilty but it makes sense. My daughter is not able to take naps because she would be up until 2 am, and I can't handle that! However in the early evenings she is terribly bad and it's because she's tired. I like and love all your ideas. Thanks so much!

Ah... such a refreshing video. I am a SAHM of two boys ages 10 and 12. People love to ask me when I plan on getting a job out of the house.. as if I shouldn't be a SAHM now that the boys have been in school for some time. I hate having to justify to people that I stay quite busy doing what I do. I love it and my husband loves it as well. For us, me being at home is so much more beneficial than if I went to a job out of the house. As for volunteering... my working the school library for a few years in the past and doing every single field trip with them that I can has been wonderful.

I have been on the fence about becoming a stay at home mom. I think your advise was excellent and not preachy! You make some excellent points about always being mom and never done working. I love the idea of volunteering too. It's something I have done most of my adult life. My plan is to stay at home with my son when he starts kindergarten. Thankfully my husband and I are in a good place to make it happen. Thank you Marnie!!

The most common risk of having one stay at home parent is the loss of financial security of a partner, or divorce/separation, or illness. Can you comment with a video discussing how you would mitigate these risks

That is a great video. My baby is two month old and I never before thought about being a home stay mom, until now after his birth. Thank you for sharing your story. For me you are very inspiring. You seem a very happy person and I enjoy your videos.

Loved this! Totally not preachy at all! I think these tips are helpful for all moms, working from home or out of the home. Definitely going to try to be involved in a group when my son starts preschool this fall. Thanks for doing this!

I am also a stay at home mom and have been for 19 years. My boys are 19, 13, 12. I agree with you in every way. It's a pleasure and priviledge to stay home and take care of my family. I'm far from a perfect housekeeper, and there have been some dark times for me personally. But all, in all it has been such a wonderful way to spend my life. My oldest leaves for college next week. Thus moving me toward a little self reflection and time for a few personal changes. I'm so happy you made this video. Certain people really don't understand how your life could be full when you stay home with kids in all day school. I've learned to not let my selfworth be measured by other's opinions of my daily life. For me and my family this is what works best. My husband agrees with yours in that he wouldn't be as successful and our children not as wonderful if I weren't home. We are very blessed and it's pretty cool to stay in jammies till right before the kids come home once in a while.;) Thanks for the videos!! Stacy

This video was great, and exactly what I needed to hear! I didn't think it was preachy at all and I can't tell you how thankful I am for your honesty! The tips for meeting people were awesome! I can't tell you how much guilt I've been dealing with for thinking I'm a horrible mother for having bad days or getting frustrated with my 3 year old daughter! Being a mother isn't the sunshine and rainbows I had always thought it would be! We had infertility issues for 2 years and I always thought that if we could just have a child, that I would live, breathe and bask in the glow of motherhood and my child! Hahaha! My daughter is the most important thing in my life, but I think having a "thing" that reminds you that you are an adult and part of an adult community is vital! My plan was not to be a stay at home mom...I was a labor and delivery nurse and always planned to work...however, my marriage suffered horribly for it. Our family works better with my job being at home.

OMG why couldn't I have seen this a year ago! I'm new-ish to America and had no idea how mums with smaller children met. I'm totally going to get a mum's helper once a week. Fabulous idea!

I'm not a mom but I love what you've said. Being a stay at home working mom or a work out of the home working mom it's the job that makes the world "work". If it wasn't for mom's men could never do what they do and it's great your husband also recognizes it. You're a great woman, wife and mom. Thks for sharing.

I am totally agree with you Marnie. I am stay home mom, my son is 14 years old and everybody ask me why I don't get a job if my son is old enough to take care of himself. Teenagers need our supervision as much as little children,we are so lucky (and our children too) that we can be at home with them.

I love this, thank you so much for this video! I'm a stay at home mother of two small children (3 yrs and 8 mths) and I'm still figuring things out.....!!! It's difficult to feel valued in this role and some days I feel like I'm losing my way!! But your video is so inspiring - for now and for the future as my children grow (go to school etc) thank you so much! Today will be day one of my "job", I'm going to start with a list ;)

I loved this. I've been at home for a few years now, and while there are some verrrry challenging days,I'm thankful I have what I have. My husband and I are also quite traditional. He averages 55-60 hour weeks so sometimes I feel a little crazy by the time the weekend rolls around. Mom needs a bit of space! Just started my first day at the y today! My 3 year old hasn't been with anyone alone besides my mom EVER. She practically ran away from me when I dropped her off at kids club to go work out. I think she's sorta sick of me! She's starting preschool next month. Where did my little baby go??

I'm glad you posted this video, I know women/men have absolutely zero understanding what life is like after you have a child and how much is changes things. I'm glad you have your situation; I struggle because both myself and spouse work full time. Then you come home and work (no outsiders assist). There is no such thing as "Me Time", and when I do take a day off (work) I'm either physically sick or my child is sick, that's it. I'm finding it extremely difficult now because my daughter has some physical problems and I've been physically ill since my child was born (I know you have hypothyroidism-which i have & i've seen 2 doctors and they haven't been able to control it-so you know what i'm going thru) then I pick every cold/flu my daughter gets. I keep hearing parents say "just hold on...it gets easier" and I literally can't think about what I'm doing the day after next because I never know what's going to happen, it's rough.

thank you for sharing your experiences. it helps me alot as a stay at home mom with like zero friends (that's my fault) but still has an active life outside of home. My daughter is 15 months now and I'm officially that stay at home mom. I can't wait to explore new things eventually.

I worked full time before I had children and then I was a SAHM off and on while my children were young. I had 4 boys (including a set of twins) between the ages of 5 - newborn!! The twins being the newborns!! As you can imagine, I didn't get out much because it was just too difficult. God bless my mom - she was retired and lived about 20 miles away - she would come over at least once a week, sometimes more. She'd come in and start doing laundry and cleaning and usually tell me to leave and go shopping or something. It was my saving grace! I went back to work to pay for my twins to go to preschool and when they started kindergarten I was lucky enough to get a longterm sub position as a teacher's aide at school in my district - that turned into a permanent position. I worked in the system until my twins started high school then I got a fulltime job elsewhere. The kids are all grown now and I'm a Domestic Goddess since I was laid off in December. My husband likes having me home and since his job is such that he has a lot of time off we get to spend a lot of time together. I totally agree that we women need to hold each other up rather than tear each other down. It's not about money - it's about priorities and it's about what works for you - whether that means working outside the home or not.

Your advice is so helpful!! I've just recently become at stay-at-home mom and it's been hard for me adjusting to being in charge of everything that involves the home and our children. It's definitely is a full time job! Thanks for wonderful tips on how to make the most of it! :)

Hi Marnie,you are so right about being Mom,it's 24/7 never ends specially when family vocation comes ,the rest on vocation but not the mom!but this is not the end of the road,when they get older they do appreciate the time with you more!

I agree with you on this topic;-) I am so happy in the position I am in. By far the hardest, most wonderful job I have ever had and ever want:-) I love being here for my family, and my husband and I show appreciation for each other.

Great Video Marnie, really enjoyed the idea's you have & what you did & do while your children were young & still going to school. There are a lot of fantastic opportunities out there for Volunteering and they are rewarding. Working in the school system for 20+ yrs, I know how important it is to have active parents involved in their child's school, PTA & volunteers period. Schools need volunteers and More Active Parents to be involved. Its wonderful of you to do what you do and have done. Thanks for sharing this & hopefully it makes more parents aware how important it is to be active in their childs school & the Church, to be there and see what goes on, Teachers, Aides & all school employees truly enjoy seeing parents taking an Active & Positive roll in the school & the children love it as well. Church is so very important as well, without Volunteers such as yourself in both school & church, we could not offer what there is to offer, plus sharing idea's with others brings a positive result for all. Thanks again for sharing this with us.

Great advice, Marnie! Time goes by so fast so I'd add to try to enjoy each phase of your kids' lives. There was a time where I felt all I did was tie shoes and now my youngest is going into his senior year of high school. Time just speeds up as they get older. You might look back and wish they were little again! 💜 Kirsten

Marnie, I think this was a wonderful topic! I've worked since I was 15 and am now 34. This past January I lost my mom to cancer (I lost my dad in late 2011 to cancer as well). In February, as I was previously a 911 dispatcher, my husband and I decided that it was right for us for me to stay home since we could live on one income now and be fine and I could "retire" per say and be a stay at home wife and hopefully one day a stay at home mommy. He is a full time firefighter/paramedic in our city. We are trying to have a family and figured that maybe with me staying home, it would be a little less stressful and be more conducive to be able to have a family. I am still very excited and thankful for this opportunity, but it is kind of weird especially saying that I'm a housewife because sometimes I feel I'm looked at as "unemployed" but I really don't care what people think because this was our choice and it was the right decision for us. I have found though that I am more busy now sometimes that I was when I worked 60+ hours a week, lol, but it does feel kind of lonely from time to time. I know it's not for everyone, but it definitely is right if one has full family support and I feel so grateful that I'm now in a new chapter of my life. Sorry for the long comment as I just wanted to share my story in a much shortened version and say thank you for sharing yours. I'm spending time volunteering as well and it definitely feels great at the end of the day. :o). Jackie

I totally agree that it is a personal choice and hours should be respected. I lost my job and stayed home for 5 years. Kids at school full time. I volunteered at the school and took care of the home. I'm there for after school activities. I just went back to work, part time, doing a much less demanding job, but honestly, just wanted to be close to home and not travel. I find it very important to be here with my kids as much as possible.

This was perfect timing! I just brought home my newborn adopted daughter a week ago and am going to be staying home. I have been nervous because I have worked since I am 12, but really wanted to stay home since my mom was a single mom working crazy hours and want to give my daughter a different life if I'm able to. This info made me feel a little relief that I'll be plenty busy while benefitting my child even further! I make RU-vid videos on the side for fun but those friends are on a screen ;) I have friends in the area but all but one work full time! Excited for this journey, thanks for this video, it was great!

Hi! Time away! Yes, I was really encouraged by that segment of this video as I have a college girl that also comes 4 hours a week to watch my 3yo and 18mo. I use the time to run errands, go to my doctor's appointments, and the time away really gives me perspective. BUT, I realized I really need to not run around during this time and decompress!!

Two thumbs up and a hug. Ignore negativity. What's wrong with this world is that our children raise themselves because both parents have to work to survive.

I'm not sure when I subbed, but why haven't I watched your videos sooner?! Sheesh! You have great camera presence. I'm stay at home mom overseas living the expat life, Your experience is very interesting. YES to the 4h/week child-free time, my kids are 5mths & 2yrs...I could sit alone in a field and enjoy myself these days HA! Is your husband a pilot?

Great video. About 4 yrs ago, my husband became a stay at home dad and I'm the one who works full time. He deals with the kids, school, bills and kinda cleans (he hates that part). But it's been interesting because I don't have to take care of all that stuff like I used too. So I kind of am able to be like "the traditional breadwinner male" and come home and do nothing, if I wanted too. But since I know how frustrating it is to have all the housework fall on you, I help out so he can have some time to himself at the end of the day too. I'm going to show him your video because the kids are getting older and he is starting to go crazy not having adult interactions. I don't think he ever thought of volunteering at other places besides the school. Thanks for the ideas!