Being Black and late-diagnosed autistic | not sorry I'm late podcast w/  

As a late diagnosed black male who has been diagnosed with ASD at 39 years old this year has been A LOT!! But I appreciate you both so much as black women sharing this, In solidarity 🙏🏾

RIP to Teona's spiky cane, that sounds so cool😔 the weird struggle of being a black woman who is constantly perceived yet also continuously invisible (or more accurately, just ignored)

Thirty-three year-old white American male here. I can point to specific experiences in my life where if literally nothing about me or my life were to change except the amount of melanin in my skin (I could even have adoptive white parents), I would have been locked up. Cops in America see a white autistic boy stimming? “Oh he’s an odd one. Better avoid him.” Cops in America see a black autistic boy stimming? “Oh he’s clearly on something. Better keep my eyes on him.” Still, during the handful of times in my life where I have accidentally attracted the attention of law enforcement, the first words out of my mouth are always “I am on the autism spectrum.” Perhaps the most instrumental experience of coming to the realization that I am and have been autistic for over three decades without anyone in my life-including myself-noticing it has been my listening to the experiences of people like you and Teona. When I first began to suspect, I immediately went to RU-vid and searched for something like “autism spectrum disorder adult diagnosis” in order to hear first-hand accounts from others who actually went through the experience. Naturally, the overwhelming majority of folks I encountered were women or at least AFAB. Countless times now, I have seen people who, because of the way society is and has been structured, are treated in very different ways than myself; yet despite being the recipient of opposite treatment, I constantly hear these “different” people utilize the same sort of logical thinking and emotional processing that I have seen myself default towards for years now. No, being a white autistic male is definitely not the same as being black or being a woman-neurodivergent or otherwise; but as a Southern white boy who has seen more Confederate flags than I’d care to admit, I find myself relating far more to people like you and Teona than your average neurotypical white American male. For what it’s worth, since being diagnosed two years ago, I am now in the process of translating my “disability” into a career as an openly-autistic mental health professional who works with other autistic individuals, ignoring ABA and instead focusing specifically on effective trauma-based therapies which are modified and cater to the autistic mind. Although my PhD research will be centered around autism and trauma, I first have to finish my Bachelor’s degree (dropped out with a 4.0 in my early 20’s). Once I make the necessary networked connections, I hope to coordinate disparate University departments into organizing research project(s) which aim to seek out other undiagnosed autistic adults in one of the most under-researched yet statistically vulnerable demographics in America: Incarcerated black men. Also, categorically, every single autistic woman/girl I’ve met or worked with has always had their shit together more in their 30s, and even beyond. The idea that women somehow reach their peak by the time they’re 30 and that it’s all downhill from there is propaganda designed to sell you more beauty products. I know I may as well be “Billy from the internet,” but both of you are extremely cogent and well-spoken about the autistic experience and are definitely making positive contributions to the autism community and how we are perceived as a whole. You two are right that there is an over-representation of white people within the neurodivergent community and as one, I completely agree that we need more voices like the two of yours. And although you may be a minority within a minority, I do sincerely hope that whatever unwelcoming or alienating behavior either of you may have felt from within the autistic community is lessening. Neither of you deserve(d) it and it is to the detriment of the autistic community as a whole to “protect” the identity from two individuals who are so very clearly on the same page. Sorry if this comment got a bit rambly. I’m gonna blame it on the autism.

This has been soul insightful & affirming. As a black nonbinary neurodivergent who lives in a prodominately white place with prodominately white spaces I isolate a lot. Yall made me feel so valid and less alone. May you both be well & at peace. Hypermobile girly too and love how yall tied that in.

First of all, her room looks like mine and that immediately makes me feel seen. Thank you 💛

about halfway through here... what was said about always needing more healing even when you think you've healed... I think that was something I've needed to hear. I'm only 20, so of course I need to heal, it's only been two years since I was legally a child... There's been so much that's happened and I haven't given myself the space to process, only bickering with myself about what the results of it were and if it was even that serious at all. I'm not sure where to even begin...

As a Black neurodivergent queer non-binary woman i am loving the relatable content 👌 🥰 I'm on an Autism Spectrum MA and i think I'm the only POC on the course. Academic autistic spaces are also often very white and our experiences often dont get represented, so thank you for sharing, it means a lot 💖

I feel like this is the first podcast in my life where I actually feel like it’s interesting what people are saying and where I can somewhat relate to both of your feelings as also social timing. It’s one of the very few videos where my adhd doesn’t instantly zone out. Thank you for this 💜💜

EXACTLY! Thank you! I've been saying that same thing and I choose to identify my autistic self the way I want to, by how I see myself! I don't join autism groups because I don't need anyone to define my autism to me for me thank you! 👽

Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!

👏👏👏 loved this conversation

This was such an important and impactful conversation. Thank you both for your time and energy and for sharing this. I really hope your podcast gets the attention it so rightfully deserves! I loved Tee's energy and they seem really insightful. Your dynamic together was beautiful! I would love for you two to have another conversation at some point in the future perhaps discussing any progress/changes in the community that you've noticed, or your thoughts on neurodivergent relationship accommodations.

i had to subscribe. I am also black and AuDHD (autism [formally diagnosed 7/25/24] and adhd [formally diagnosed 11/2018] and i only recently got my adhd medicated at a good dose for me. I recently ended a friendship with a friend because I burnt myself out trying to be as present as I could for her but we had too many differences and she crossed my boundaries too much and I didn’t feel safe fully unmasking with her, to the point that when i did, she couldn’t handle it and ended a facetime then sent me a passive aggressive voice memo and was facetious about how good of a communicator she was and how present she was in our friendship when she likely has adhd or some neurodivergency herself but she’s unaware and immature and she also had a lot of internalized ableism and unconscious bias and other things she needs to work through. It’s for the best it ended but i’m working on self-honoring boundaries and i’m seeking to be in community with more black, queer and neurodivergent folks *self-dianosis is valid too btw* thank you for this podcast. I’m so glad I came across y’all and i’m subscribing and following y’all on socials.

Great Podcast Ladies!!! 💯❤💯❤

I really appreciated this! T is fantastic and I identify with your struggles, therapy is so important to my journey and I'm always in my head.

I am black and I was early diagnosed with Autism and nothing changed, back then. People were so vile back then, with screaming and swearing as loud as possible at me, so I said I hate them back at them, I never told those people I was Autistic as it wasn't there business. Sure there are people that still dislike me for being Autistic, and don't care about that. I'm not going to display any images of myself online, so I'll keep this image I made of a duck.

Thank you both for sharing this conversation❤

Such valuable discussion. I relate so much to what was discussed. Really appreciate both of your perspectives.

I love this so much

Appreciated this so much. I moved to LA a year ago and in the last 7 months 3 people have asked if I was autistic and for me it would make so much make sense after doing some research. It would be nice to know for sure so I guess this is the journey I’m on now

Think I just found another favourite podcast(?) To keep an eye out for in future. What was the name of the woman who does the black autism perspective stuff you mentioned?

🥰❤